E365 - Luffy Is the Enemy! The Ultimate Zombie vs. The Straw Hat Crew

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:16] ---
    Travel across the oceans of the world
[00:20] ---
    Bellow a battle cry
[00:23] ---
    Once your heart feels refreshed,
    let the signal to set sail ring out
[00:37] ---
    We've left the established course
[00:40] ---
    Right now, we're rowing straight toward
[00:44] ---
    The borderline between the sky and the ocean
[00:49] ---
    In the dark depths of the ocean,
    adventure holds its breath
[00:55] ---
    Don't you have a good time just imagining it?
[01:02] ---
    Travel across the oceans of the world
[01:07] ---
    Bellow a battle cry
[01:09] ---
    Once your heart feels refreshed,
    let the signal to set sail ring out
[01:23] ---
    "That feeling" I get when embarking
[01:26] ---
    Is something I hope to remember always
[01:30] ---
    If I can, I won't be afraid of anything
[01:35] ---
    With our pulses racing,
    let's go on a trip now
[01:42] ---
    Shy hearts engrave the rhythm of adventure
[01:48] ---
    Snatch up the treasure here and there
[01:53] ---
    While laughing out loud
[01:55] ---
    As we dash by like a noisy party
[02:00] ---
    Make some waves...
[02:03] ---
    Life is "Adventurous"
[02:04] ---
    Be aware it's "Dangerous"
[02:06] ---
    Who's gonna be "One of us"
[02:08] ---
    And a trip goes on because
[02:09] ---
    We da pirate of the "Mass"
[02:11] ---
    To the West, To the East
[02:13] ---
    Gotta find my way, Sail away
[02:14] ---
    All the way to "One piece"!!
[02:15] ---
    Stuff a dream into your empty chest
[02:19] ---
    And spread your wings
[02:22] ---
    If the wind blowing through
    them dyes your heart
[02:26] ---
    Let's press forward
[02:28] ---
    Snatch up the treasure here and there
[02:33] ---
    While laughing out loud
[02:35] ---
    As we dash by like a noisy party
[02:39] ---
    Make some waves...
[02:42] ---
    
[02:46] ---
    Wealth, fame, power...
[02:46] ---
    
[02:51] ---
    Gold Roger, the King of the Pirates,
[02:53] ---
    once attained everything
    this world has to offer.
[02:56] ---
    The words he uttered just before his death
[02:59] ---
    drove people around the world to the seas.
[03:03] ---
    My treasure? If you want it, you can have it!
[03:07] ---
    Find it! I left everything
    this world has to offer there!
[03:12] ---
    And so men rushed onto the
    Grand Line in pursuit of romanticism!
[03:17] ---
    The world has truly entered
    a Great Pirate Era!
[03:22] ---
    Look over there!
    Didn't Curly Cook come out with him?
[03:36] ---
    Damn it!
[03:41] ---
    Nami-san...
[03:42] ---
    Wait!
[03:46] ---
    Moria!
[03:49] ---
    Are you going to chase
    after me no matter what?
[03:52] ---
    I'm worried about that huge zombie,
[03:54] ---
    but taking you down is the only way
    to recover everyone's shadows.
[03:59] ---
    I won't let you escape!
[04:07] ---
    Look! I am the last one laughing!
[04:11] ---
    She sure is sound asleep.
[04:14] ---
    Let's go elsewhere... and hold
    the ceremony... one more time,
[04:21] ---
    my quiet bride!
[04:29] ---
    Oh, crap!
[04:30] ---
    Usopp!
[04:33] ---
    Chopper! Robin!
[04:34] ---
    W-W-We've got a problem!
[04:37] ---
    O-O-Our wanted posters are
    a-attached to Zombie Luffy's arm!
[04:50] ---
    I-I'm sure of it!
[04:55] ---
    He is totally...
[05:06] ---
    ...coming after us!
[05:09] ---
    Come out, Straw Hat Crew!
[05:21] ---
    Darn it, Luffy! Are you going
    to crush your own crew?
[05:26] ---
    Someone must have issued the order.
[05:28] ---
    I hope the real Luffy is all right.
[05:31] ---
    What is that?!
[05:33] ---
    Can we take that monster down?
[05:45] ---
    "Luffy Is the Enemy! The Ultimate Zombie
    vs. the Straw Hat Crew!"
[06:07] ---
    Wh-Wh-What is that? Its face freaks me out.
[06:12] ---
    It's literally a monster.
[06:18] ---
    Aren't they...?
[06:20] ---
    Hey, Usopp! That you down there?
[06:25] ---
    What was that? I thought I
    heard someone say my name...
[06:29] ---
    Z-Zoro! Why are you on the roof?
[06:33] ---
    Franky! And Brook's okay, too.
[06:36] ---
    At any rate, it looks like we can
    check the skeleton off our list.
[06:40] ---
    But it's too soon to check Nami-chan off.
[06:57] ---
    Hey, move your butt!
[07:00] ---
    Why in the world are you
    getting in our way, Luffy?
[07:21] ---
    Luffy...?
[07:24] ---
    He is my enemy.
[07:30] ---
    My name is Oars.
[07:37] ---
    Nice to meet ya!
[07:49] ---
    Stuff it! What's "nice" about this?
[07:52] ---
    Sheesh! That is such a
    birdbrained thing to say.
[07:56] ---
    You sound just like Luffy.
[07:59] ---
    He's trying to pick a
    fight with that monster.
[08:02] ---
    Did that moronic cook manage to save Nami?
[08:06] ---
    He's in hotter water than the girlie!
[08:14] ---
    C-C-Crap! This looks really bad!
[08:18] ---
    Sanji's in trouble!
[08:19] ---
    This was unexpected.
[08:21] ---
    I had assumed they were only
    interested in our shadows.
[08:25] ---
    I wonder if we got a little carried away.
[08:27] ---
    It's like all they care
    about now is Luffy's shadow.
[08:30] ---
    Scary! I'm scared! I
    can't fight that monster!
[08:34] ---
    It looks like I should lend him a hand.
[08:36] ---
    Wait, wait, wait!
[08:38] ---
    W-We should leave this to Sanji
    so we don't trip him up.
[08:44] ---
    Don't worry. He should be able
    to escape without too much effort.
[08:48] ---
    But won't that giant recognize him
    from the wanted poster?
[08:52] ---
    I doubt the beast will
    simply let him walk away.
[08:55] ---
    You've got a lot to learn, Robin-kun!
    That's just the thing.
[08:58] ---
    Do you think he'll recognize Sanji based off
[09:00] ---
    the composite sketch on the wanted poster?
[09:02] ---
    You're right! Sanji doesn't look anything
    like the picture on his wanted poster.
[09:06] ---
    --Bingo!
    --I see. You have a good point.
[09:14] ---
    Oh, you look just like the
    picture on the wanted poster.
[09:19] ---
    What?!
[09:21] ---
    What looks the same?!
[09:23] ---
    "What," huh? Your whole face.
[09:26] ---
    No, it doesn't, stupid!
[09:29] ---
    At any rate, aren't you one of the pirates?
[09:32] ---
    So what if I am?!
[09:34] ---
    I'm gonna crush you.
[09:36] ---
    Huh?
[09:37] ---
    Shoot! Shoot!
[09:40] ---
    Sanji!
[09:49] ---
    What was that, you bastard?
[09:59] ---
    Wait, Moria!
[10:04] ---
    Jerk!
[10:09] ---
    Drat! That shadow got in the way again!
[10:13] ---
    You never learn.
[10:16] ---
    Oops! This is a dead end.
[10:21] ---
    I've finally got you cornered!
    Say your prayers, Giant Shallot!
[10:24] ---
    Shouldn't you be the one saying your prayers?
[10:27] ---
    While you're wasting time with me,
[10:30] ---
    your combat skills are being used
    to wipe out your crew, Straw Hat.
[10:36] ---
    Shut up! My crew won't go down that easily.
[10:40] ---
    Is that right? Then I'd better make
    a break for it before you do me in!
[10:47] ---
    Brick Bat!
[10:51] ---
    Whoa! Crap!
[10:53] ---
    Bye!
[10:55] ---
    Gum-Gum Gatling!
[11:02] ---
    Wait! I won't let you escape!
[11:11] ---
    Moria-sama, we've got trouble!
[11:19] ---
    What happened here?
[11:24] ---
    Moria-sama, where did you go?
[11:38] ---
    Wh-What are they doing?
[11:40] ---
    You're being obnoxious,
    you poor excuse for a penguin!
[11:43] ---
    Shut up, stinky old man!
[11:45] ---
    Guys! This is no time for
    arguing amongst ourselves.
[11:50] ---
    Who gave you permission to bicker?
[11:53] ---
    We're following Hogback-sama's orders!
[11:56] ---
    Beat it, you lousy bat!
[11:57] ---
    That's absurd!
[11:58] ---
    Hogback-sama would never order
    you to do something like this.
[12:02] ---
    What exactly did he say?
[12:04] ---
    "Take out the pests!"
[12:07] ---
    You pest!
[12:08] ---
    --Take out the pest!
    --You're the pest!
[12:10] ---
    --They're a lost cause...
    --You are such a pest!
[12:30] ---
    Damn! That still hurts.
[12:36] ---
    That jerk tried to make a fool of me!
[12:39] ---
    But I'm not about to pass out.
[12:44] ---
    I can't collapse until this
    event of a lifetime is over!
[12:47] ---
    Now then, let's resume the
    wedding ceremony. Kiss the bride.
[12:52] ---
    I'll finally get to kiss her this time!
[12:56] ---
    That's Absalom-sama!
[12:57] ---
    I know! Absalom-sama might
    know where Moria-sama went.
[13:02] ---
    --Here I go!
    --Absalom-sama!
[13:10] ---
    Wh-What was that for, you perverted beast?!
[13:15] ---
    He insulted him! He slammed
    him with an insult!
[13:18] ---
    Crap! Now we're in for a storm!
[13:20] ---
    Hildon, what are you doing here?
[13:25] ---
    So? What did you want?
[13:28] ---
    Huh?
[13:29] ---
    He's surprisingly calm.
[13:30] ---
    You see, I'm trying to find Moria-sama.
[13:34] ---
    Can't you see for yourself? He isn't here!
[13:38] ---
    So it would seem.
[13:40] ---
    Sorry, but could you get
    someone else to help you?
[13:43] ---
    I'm busy at the moment.
[13:46] ---
    Sorry for the intrusion. Goodbye!
[13:48] ---
    Wait a second, Hildon.
[13:50] ---
    Yes, what is it?
[13:52] ---
    How dare you call me a "perverted beast"?!
[13:57] ---
    That was mean.
[13:59] ---
    It took that long to sink in?!
[14:12] ---
    Wait, Giant Shallot!
[14:21] ---
    Huh? Who's there?
[14:25] ---
    Darn it! It's that stupid shadow!
[14:27] ---
    Just you wait, Moria!
[14:34] ---
    Man, he really let me have it.
[14:38] ---
    I finally found him!
[14:40] ---
    Moria-sama!
[14:42] ---
    Moria-sama, I have news that
    I'd like to report right away!
[14:47] ---
    Hildon? What is it?
[14:49] ---
    To be honest, it would appear the ship
    is moving in an unfortunate direction.
[14:54] ---
    We'll run into trouble if it
    continues on its current course!
[14:55] ---
    Is that right? If that's the case,
    do something about it.
[14:59] ---
    I'm busy at the moment.
[15:01] ---
    --Later!
    --B-But...!
[15:05] ---
    You're in the way! Move it! Move!
[15:24] ---
    Darn twerp's quickly darting every which way!
[15:34] ---
    Sanji!
[16:09] ---
    Sanji!
[16:36] ---
    I swear, all that did was make a dust cloud!
[16:44] ---
    Now it's my turn, you bastard!
[16:48] ---
    Sanji!
[16:49] ---
    Are you okay?
[16:55] ---
    You won't get away this time.
[17:00] ---
    Gum-Gum...
[17:04] ---
    It's one of Luffy's moves!
[17:05] ---
    Can he extend his arms?!
[17:07] ---
    Is he a rubber man now?
[17:09] ---
    ...Sickle!
[17:12] ---
    H-His arm didn't extend!
[17:15] ---
    But with power and reach
    like that, who cares?!
[17:20] ---
    So that freakishly huge
    body isn't just for show.
[17:24] ---
    Just one direct hit could
    do some serious damage!
[17:30] ---
    Oars... I've heard that
    name somewhere before.
[17:33] ---
    Could he be the legendary Continent Puller
    from ancient times, the Devil Oars?!
[17:41] ---
    That'd explain it. It sounds like
    Luffy's zombie isn't a pushover.
[17:51] ---
    Collier Frit!
[18:06] ---
    Sanji!
[18:07] ---
    He's stinking fast for a behemoth!
[18:14] ---
    I've got ya, puny pirate!
[18:21] ---
    Crap! He's gonna get killed!
[18:31] ---
    Sanji!
[18:39] ---
    What is that monster gonna do?
[18:42] ---
    Hey, stop it!
[18:44] ---
    Sanji!
[18:45] ---
    Die, puny pirate!
[18:49] ---
    Fire Bird Star!
[19:01] ---
    This is hot.
[19:04] ---
    I... I... I'm sorry!
[19:11] ---
    Sanji!
[19:18] ---
    There is the black-haired woman
    and the reindeer eating cotton candy.
[19:30] ---
    He's headed our way!
[19:33] ---
    Crap! Franky, lure him over here!
[19:37] ---
    Now we're talking!
[19:38] ---
    Eat this, monster!
[19:48] ---
    Look out!
[19:53] ---
    Get off the roof, you two!
[19:55] ---
    One Gorilla!
[19:57] ---
    Two Gorilla!
[19:59] ---
    Three-Sword Style...
[20:02] ---
    ...Two Gorilla Slash!
[20:09] ---
    Gum-Gum...
[20:11] ---
    ...Volcano!
[20:14] ---
    Zoro, are you still alive?
[20:16] ---
    No, he's dead if he falls from up there!
[20:23] ---
    Yes!
[20:25] ---
    Chew on this, monster!
[20:28] ---
    Weapons Left!
[20:32] ---
    He's so nimble! He dodged again!
[20:42] ---
    What's he up to this time?
[20:57] ---
    Franky! Brook!
[21:02] ---
    Zoro's coming down!
[21:04] ---
    Shoot! He'll die if he hits the ground!
[21:06] ---
    Cien Fleurs! Spider Net!
[21:15] ---
    I survived? Damn it...!
[21:26] ---
    Eat this! You're still a zombie!
[21:28] ---
    Special Attack! Salt Star!
[21:34] ---
    How do you like that?
[21:47] ---
    I-It wasn't enough!
[21:50] ---
    Not for his massive body!
[21:57] ---
    Heavy Gong!
[22:59] ---
    D-Damn it, Luffy!
[23:04] ---
    I don't know any of you losers!
[23:10] ---
    I am Moria-sama's servant, Oars!
[23:25] ---
    Ab-sama! Forget that woman and pucker up!
[23:28] ---
    Learn when to quit! I won't kiss you!
[23:29] ---
    --Then marry me!
    --That isn't happening!
[23:31] ---
    --Then kiss me!
    --Are you even listening?
[23:34] ---
    You just don't get it.
[23:35] ---
    No, you don't!
[23:37] ---
    Oh, shit! You made her wake up!
[23:39] ---
    On the next episode of One Piece!
[23:41] ---
    "You're Going Down, Absalom!!
    Nami's Lightning Attack of Friendship!!"
[23:44] ---
    I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!!
[23:46] ---