E10 - The Weirdest Guy Ever! Jango the Hypnotist!

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    Wealth, fame, power...
[00:03] ---
    Gold Roger,
    the King of the Pirates,
[00:05] ---
    attained everything
    this world has to offer.
[00:07] ---
    The words he uttered just before
    his death drove people to the seas.
[00:11] ---
    My treasure?
    If you want it, you can have it!
[00:15] ---
    Find it! I left everything
    this world has to offer there!
[00:21] ---
    And so men head for the
    Grand Line in pursuit of their dreams!
[00:26] ---
    The world has truly
    entered a Great Pirate Era!
[00:30] ---
    We're going to gather up
    all our dreams
[00:35] ---
    and set out in search
    of something to find
[00:41] ---
    ONE PIECE!
[00:48] ---
    Compasses only cause delays
[00:53] ---
    Delirious with fever,
    I take the helm
[00:59] ---
    If the dusty treasure map has
    been verified, it's not a legend!
[01:11] ---
    When it comes to personal storms,
[01:17] ---
    simply ride aboard
    someone else's biorhythm
[01:22] ---
    and pretend it isn't there!
[01:26] ---
    We're going to gather up
    all our dreams
[01:31] ---
    and set out in search
    of something to find
[01:37] ---
    A coin in my pocket,
    and do you wanna be my friend?
[01:43] ---
    We are, We are on the cruise!
[01:48] ---
    We are!
[01:51] ---
    Huh?
[01:53] ---
    Yahoo!
[01:59] ---
    A-Are you all right?!
[02:01] ---
    Yeah! It's okay, it's okay!
[02:04] ---
    They're new recruits who heard
    all about me and came from afar...
[02:07] ---
    ...to join the Usopp Pirates!
[02:10] ---
    No, not me!
[02:13] ---
    I'm here to ask a favor!
[02:15] ---
    A favor? Of me?
[02:16] ---
    --Yeah! We want a big ship...
    --You, there!
[02:21] ---
    What are you doing?!
[02:25] ---
    Klahadore...
[02:29] ---
    I don't appreciate you breaking
    in here without permission!
[02:49] ---
    Who's there?!
[02:58] ---
    "The Weirdest Guy Ever!
    Jango the Hypnotist"
[03:07] ---
    A-Actually, Klahadore,
    these people are--
[03:10] ---
    That can wait for now.
[03:13] ---
    I can hear all about your reasons later.
[03:17] ---
    Now leave, all of you!
[03:18] ---
    Or do you have something to say?
[03:21] ---
    Well, actually, we want a ship!
[03:24] ---
    No!
[03:27] ---
    --Usopp-kun!
    --Crap!
[03:29] ---
    I've heard all about you.
[03:32] ---
    You're well-known in the village.
[03:35] ---
    Yeah?
[03:36] ---
    I hear you've been
    on many an adventure.
[03:39] ---
    Quite impressive for
    someone so young.
[03:41] ---
    You can call me Captain Usopp, too!
[03:44] ---
    Since you admire me so much!
[03:47] ---
    Captain, huh?
[03:50] ---
    I've heard all about
    your father, as well.
[03:53] ---
    What?!
[03:54] ---
    Klahadore! Stop!
[03:56] ---
    You're nothing but the
    son of a filthy pirate!
[04:00] ---
    Nothing you do will surprise me,
[04:04] ---
    but I ask that you stay away
    from the lady of this house!
[04:09] ---
    F-Filthy?!
[04:11] ---
    She and you are from
    completely different worlds!
[04:15] ---
    Is it money you're after?
    How much do you want?
[04:17] ---
    That's enough, Klahadore!
    Apologize to Usopp-san!
[04:22] ---
    Hey, now! Be careful, Kaya!
[04:23] ---
    What reason is there to apologize
    to this savage man, my lady?
[04:29] ---
    I am merely stating the truth.
[04:33] ---
    I feel for you.
[04:34] ---
    You must truly hate your
    great idiot of a father
[04:38] ---
    for abandoning his family and village
    because of his lust for treasure!
[04:42] ---
    Klahadore!
[04:44] ---
    Don't you dare insult
    my father any more!
[04:48] ---
    Usopp-san!
[04:58] ---
    What are you getting
    unnecessarily riled up for?
[05:01] ---
    Why not simply tell another of
    your special lies at a time like this?
[05:04] ---
    About how your father is
    really a traveling salesman,
[05:07] ---
    or how you're not
    really related by blood...
[05:10] ---
    Shut up!
[05:21] ---
    --Captain!
    --Captain!
[05:24] ---
    S-See! You immediately
    resort to violence!
[05:27] ---
    Like father, like son!
[05:30] ---
    Shut up!
[05:32] ---
    I'm proud that my father is a pirate!
[05:36] ---
    I'm proud that he's a
    brave warrior of the sea!
[05:39] ---
    You're right, I am an exaggerator!
[05:42] ---
    But I'll never lie about my pride
    to be related by blood to a pirate!
[05:48] ---
    I'm the son of a pirate!
[05:54] ---
    Captain...
[05:58] ---
    A pirate, a brave warrior of the sea?
[06:01] ---
    That's quite a twisted
    way of putting things...
[06:05] ---
    But you're the undeniable
    proof of his savage blood!
[06:09] ---
    You run around spouting lies,
[06:11] ---
    and act violent whenever you're angry!
[06:13] ---
    And to top it off, you cozy
    up to the lady of this house
[06:16] ---
    so you can get her fortune!
[06:17] ---
    What?! I only--!
[06:19] ---
    The fact that your father is a pirate...
[06:21] ---
    ...is more than enough proof
    that you'd hatch such a scheme!
[06:25] ---
    Damn it, you still won't let up?!
[06:26] ---
    Stop, Usopp-san!
[06:29] ---
    Please, no more violence!
[06:33] ---
    Klahadore isn't a bad person!
[06:36] ---
    He's just...
[06:38] ---
    He's just trying too hard
    to do what's best for me!
[06:48] ---
    Leave this place!
[06:50] ---
    Never come near this mansion again!
[06:54] ---
    Yeah, I get it.
[06:56] ---
    I don't need you to tell me!
[07:00] ---
    I'll never come back here again!
[07:04] ---
    Usopp-san...
[07:08] ---
    You stupid butt-ler jerk!
[07:10] ---
    Our captain's not that kind of guy!
[07:12] ---
    --Yeah! You stupid-head!
    --Stupid-head!
[07:15] ---
    Stupid-head!
[07:16] ---
    Why're you saying it, too?!
[07:21] ---
    --What's your problem?!
    --Hey, now! Stop!
[07:23] ---
    --Let go! You stupid butler!
    --What?!
[07:27] ---
    Come fight me, if you can!
[07:31] ---
    You will leave at once, too!
[07:51] ---
    Your meal, my lady.
[07:53] ---
    No thanks. I don't want it.
[08:01] ---
    The cook would be sad
    to hear you say that.
[08:04] ---
    He works his hardest to come up
    with meals that suit your needs.
[08:15] ---
    Why did you talk like that?
[08:18] ---
    I know I was wrong to talk with
    Usopp-san without telling you.
[08:24] ---
    But you didn't need to
    kick him out like that.
[08:34] ---
    May I sit?
[08:36] ---
    Go ahead.
[08:41] ---
    It's been nearly three years...
[08:46] ---
    ...since the day I came to this mansion.
[08:50] ---
    I'll never forget what
    happened that day...
[09:17] ---
    I was kicked off the ship I worked on
[09:21] ---
    because of a blunder I made,
[09:24] ---
    and with no work or money,
[09:26] ---
    I was on the verge
    of dying like a beggar.
[09:29] ---
    Hey, you! Get out of here!
[09:31] ---
    Get up! This is no place
    for the likes of you!
[09:41] ---
    Huh?! Sir?! But...
[09:50] ---
    Understood! Take him
    inside and tend to him!
[09:54] ---
    In my eyes, I owe my life
    to your late parents...
[10:00] ---
    And to you, their daughter.
[10:06] ---
    I realize that it isn't my place
    to interfere with your friendships.
[10:14] ---
    But that Usopp lad isn't exactly
    known for his upstanding character!
[10:20] ---
    If... if anything should happen to you,
[10:24] ---
    I would never be able to ask for
    forgiveness from your kind parents!
[10:29] ---
    Do you think ill of me
    for what I did earlier?
[10:33] ---
    No, not at all!
[10:36] ---
    I'm glad to have you, too, Klahadore!
[10:38] ---
    But please don't misunderstand.
[10:41] ---
    Usopp-san is a very nice person.
[10:43] ---
    However, whether he's
    nice or not is irrelevant!
[10:47] ---
    Klahadore! Urgh! You blockhead!
[10:50] ---
    Yes, "blockhead" will do just fine!
[11:09] ---
    Hey, where'd Luffy go?
[11:11] ---
    Who knows? Probably
    ran after that "captain."
[11:15] ---
    Our captain would be at his spot!
[11:17] ---
    Yeah, the shore!
[11:19] ---
    He always goes there
    when something happens!
[11:23] ---
    Wanna check it out?
[11:25] ---
    Huh? Nah, that's okay.
[11:27] ---
    But never mind that,
    isn't one of you missing?
[11:30] ---
    --Yeah, Onion!
    --Yeah, Onion!
[11:32] ---
    He always just ups and disappears!
[11:35] ---
    Yeah! And then he
    shows up all freaked out!
[11:40] ---
    Bad news!
[11:42] ---
    --See?
    --A b-backwards guy!
[11:46] ---
    A weird guy is
    backwards-walking this way!
[11:48] ---
    --Liar!
    --Liar!
[11:50] ---
    It's the truth!
[11:52] ---
    Just look!
[12:02] ---
    Hey! Who's calling me a weird guy?!
[12:08] ---
    I am not weird!
[12:11] ---
    Seem pretty weird to me.
[12:13] ---
    Don't be stupid!
[12:14] ---
    I'm just an ordinary,
    passing-by hypnotist!
[12:17] ---
    H-Hypnotist?! Awesome!
[12:20] ---
    Show us something!
[12:21] ---
    Yeah! Do something!
[12:23] ---
    What?!
[12:26] ---
    Don't be dumb!
[12:28] ---
    Why should I have to
    reveal my techniques
[12:30] ---
    to a bunch of strangers?!
[12:33] ---
    --Alright. Watch this ring closely.
    --You're gonna do it?!
[12:37] ---
    You'll feel sleepy at the
    count of "one, two, Jango."
[12:40] ---
    Alright, here we go!
[12:42] ---
    One, two,
[12:45] ---
    Jango!
[12:49] ---
    Geez, what's with this guy?!
[13:02] ---
    Yo!
[13:04] ---
    Here you are!
[13:05] ---
    Oh, it's just you!
    At least say something, will ya?!
[13:08] ---
    So, what, do you want something?!
[13:10] ---
    Not really.
[13:19] ---
    Oww...
[13:27] ---
    That damn butler,
[13:29] ---
    insulting my old man like that!
[13:31] ---
    Yeah, I hate that guy too!
[13:33] ---
    No matter what anyone says,
    Yasopp was a great pirate!
[13:37] ---
    Yeah, huh?!
[13:38] ---
    In this day and age where
    pirates are everywhere,
[13:42] ---
    I'm proud of my old man for living
    with his life on the line at sea!
[13:46] ---
    Yet, that bastard
    stomped all over my pride!
[13:49] ---
    He'll pay for this!
[13:51] ---
    But you're not gonna
    go see the girl anymore?
[13:55] ---
    Y-Yeah, I dunno...
[13:58] ---
    If that butler comes and apologizes
    to me, I might consider it.
[14:02] ---
    That butler?
[14:04] ---
    Yeah, that butler...
[14:07] ---
    What's that butler doing out here?!
[14:09] ---
    Oww! That hurts!
[14:11] ---
    Hey, Jango.
[14:13] ---
    I told you to avoid doing
    anything to make you stand out.
[14:16] ---
    Yet you go and sleep in
    the middle of the village...
[14:19] ---
    Don't be stupid.
[14:20] ---
    I don't stand out one bit.
    I'm not weird, either.
[14:24] ---
    There's someone else
    with him. A weird guy...
[14:26] ---
    Never seen him before. Who is he?
[14:29] ---
    So, preparations for the
    plan are ready, I hope?
[14:33] ---
    Of course.
[14:38] ---
    We can start anytime...
[14:41] ---
    The Rich Girl Assassination Plan!
[14:46] ---
    A-Assassination?!
[15:12] ---
    Don't call it assassination, Jango.
    That has a bad ring to it.
[15:16] ---
    Oh, right. Accident. It's an accident.
[15:21] ---
    Hey, what're those
    guys talking about?
[15:24] ---
    D-Don't look at me!
    That's what I'd like to know!
[15:28] ---
    We can't simply kill her.
[15:31] ---
    Miss Kaya must perish
    in an unfortunate accident.
[15:35] ---
    Don't mess that up!
[15:38] ---
    So basically, on your signal,
[15:39] ---
    the men and I storm
    the village and kill the girl.
[15:44] ---
    And then you'll get her inheritance...
[15:47] ---
    You fool! You don't
    understand a thing!
[15:50] ---
    How would I, an outsider,
    inherit Kaya's estate?!
[15:53] ---
    You'll work hard to?
[15:55] ---
    Working hard won't amount to squat.
[15:58] ---
    Listen, this is the
    most important thing!
[16:01] ---
    Before you kill her, you'll use
    hypnosis to make Kaya write her will...
[16:06] ---
    ...to say, "I leave my entire
    fortune to my butler, Klahadore!"
[16:12] ---
    Only then will I inherit
    her enormous fortune...
[16:18] ---
    In a completely ordinary manner...
[16:21] ---
    I've spent three long years gaining
    the trust of everyone around me
[16:26] ---
    so that it would be unsurprising for
    her to leave her inheritance to me.
[16:31] ---
    Three years as a butler for that, huh?
[16:34] ---
    But you sure scared us back then...
[16:37] ---
    Captain Kuro.
[16:39] ---
    Three years ago, you suddenly said
    you were giving up life as a pirate.
[16:43] ---
    In no time flat, you set up
    a subordinate to be your double,
[16:46] ---
    then let the world see
    Captain Kuro get executed.
[17:01] ---
    So that was the very
    beginning of this plan.
[17:05] ---
    You truly are Kuro,
    Man of a Thousand Plans.
[17:07] ---
    Don't call me that.
[17:09] ---
    I abandoned that
    name three years ago.
[17:11] ---
    I now want to obtain
    great sums of money
[17:14] ---
    without the government on my back.
[17:16] ---
    In other words, I'm a pacifist.
[17:20] ---
    Some pacifist you are,
[17:23] ---
    killing off an entire rich family
    for this "peace" of yours.
[17:28] ---
    Hold on, now.
    The father's death was real.
[17:31] ---
    I hadn't planned on that.
[17:33] ---
    Well, whatever. It doesn't matter.
[17:36] ---
    Anyways, hurry and give the signal.
[17:38] ---
    We've been sitting in the waters
    near here for a whole week now.
[17:44] ---
    The men are starting
    to grow impatient.
[17:54] ---
    This is bad! We heard
    something really bad!
[18:00] ---
    Hey, what's going on?
    This sounds kind of bad.
[18:02] ---
    Weren't you listening
    this whole time?!
[18:05] ---
    This is seriously bad!
    They're the real deal!
[18:08] ---
    Captain Kuro is said
    to be the smartest
[18:12] ---
    and most brutal pirate of all!
[18:15] ---
    Word had it the navy caught and
    executed him three years ago...
[18:20] ---
    ...but Captain Kuro is alive!
[18:22] ---
    As Klahadore, the butler!
[18:25] ---
    He's been after Kaya's fortune
    for these past three years straight!
[18:34] ---
    They're gonna attack the village!
[18:37] ---
    Kaya's in danger, too!
[18:43] ---
    Bad! This is seriously bad!
[18:53] ---
    Hey! Don't stand up! They'll see you!
[18:56] ---
    Hey, you guys! Don't attack that girl!
[19:01] ---
    Who're you?!
[19:02] ---
    You idiot! They spotted you!
[19:05] ---
    Hurry and hide before they kill you!
[19:07] ---
    Oh... If it isn't Usopp-kun.
[19:13] ---
    They spotted me, too!
[19:15] ---
    Did you... hear anything?
[19:18] ---
    N-No! Whatever do you mean?!
[19:21] ---
    We just got here now, so of
    course we didn't hear anything!
[19:24] ---
    --We heard everything!
    --Hey, you!
[19:32] ---
    Oh, all right.
[19:36] ---
    Hey, you guys!
    Watch this ring closely!
[19:41] ---
    What?
[19:42] ---
    T-This is bad!
    It's a throwing weapon! Dodge it!
[19:46] ---
    At the count of "one, two,
    Jango" you will get sleepy.
[19:49] ---
    Ready?
[19:51] ---
    --One, two...
    --Hide! He's gonna kill us!
[19:54] ---
    ...Jango!
[20:00] ---
    Hey! Wake up, Jango!
[20:01] ---
    Have you still not
    fixed that habit yet?!
[20:06] ---
    H-Hey! What're you doing?!
    You're gonna fall!
[20:14] ---
    Head-first...
[20:16] ---
    I didn't mean to kill him,
[20:18] ---
    but he couldn't have
    survived from that height...
[20:21] ---
    Damn it! He killed him!
[20:25] ---
    That bastard! Damn it!
[20:28] ---
    What about the other one?
    Shall I take care of him?
[20:31] ---
    No need.
[20:33] ---
    No matter what he does,
    it won't matter.
[20:38] ---
    Tomorrow morning, Jango.
    Attack the village at daybreak.
[20:42] ---
    Tear up the villagers'
    homes a good amount,
[20:45] ---
    and make certain Miss Kaya's
    murder looks like an accident!
[20:50] ---
    Tomorrow!
[20:52] ---
    You heard me, Usopp-kun.
[20:54] ---
    There's nothing you
    can do to stop my plan.
[20:59] ---
    Damn it!
[21:04] ---
    You sure about him?
[21:06] ---
    Of course. My plans are flawless.
[21:11] ---
    This is bad, this is bad, this is bad!
[21:14] ---
    Everyone in this village I grew
    up in is going to be killed!
[21:17] ---
    Kaya's going to be killed!
[21:20] ---
    Even though I love them all!
[21:36] ---
    Who are you?!
[21:37] ---
    I'm Usopp!
    A brave warrior of the sea!
[21:42] ---
    I hear you've been unhappy lately!
[21:44] ---
    I'll cheer you up with a story!
[21:47] ---
    Mind your own business!
[21:49] ---
    Please leave! I'll call for someone!
[21:55] ---
    And then? What happened after that?!
[21:57] ---
    I fought, of course! Bravely, at that!
[22:00] ---
    First, for the giant cat,
    I used a cattail plant...
[22:10] ---
    Damn it!
[22:55] ---
    When I was little, I had
    a vision of a treasure map
[23:09] ---
    and I always searched
    for that miraculous place
[23:16] ---
    before someone else could
    beat me to it
[23:25] ---
    If the world is going to change
[23:37] ---
    before I can even attain my dream
[23:44] ---
    then take me to the time
    when I knew nothing
[23:51] ---
    so that my memories won't fade
[24:09] ---
    Usopp ran by with a really
    intense look. Did something happen?
[24:12] ---
    That butler is a pirate!
    He told his crew to attack the village!
[24:16] ---
    Now they'll know, and can run
    away beforehand! That's a relief!
[24:20] ---
    --Oh, no!
    --What is it?!
[24:21] ---
    We need to stock up on food
    before the meat shop guy runs away!
[24:24] ---
    That's not the issue at hand here!
[24:26] ---
    On the next episode of One Piece!
[24:27] ---
    "Expose the Plot!
    Pirate Butler Captain Kuro"
[24:31] ---
    I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!!