E342 - The Zombie's Secret! Hogback's Nightmarish Laboratory

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:16] ---
    Travel across the oceans of the world
[00:20] ---
    Bellow a battle cry
[00:23] ---
    Once your heart feels refreshed,
    let the signal to set sail ring out
[00:37] ---
    We've left the established course
[00:40] ---
    Right now, we're rowing straight toward
[00:44] ---
    The borderline between the sky and the ocean
[00:49] ---
    In the dark depths of the ocean,
    adventure holds its breath
[00:55] ---
    Don't you have a good time just imagining it?
[01:02] ---
    Travel across the oceans of the world
[01:07] ---
    Bellow a battle cry
[01:09] ---
    Once your heart feels refreshed,
    let the signal to set sail ring out
[01:23] ---
    "That feeling" I get when embarking
[01:26] ---
    Is something I hope to remember always
[01:30] ---
    If I can, I won't be afraid of anything
[01:35] ---
    With our pulses racing,
    let's go on a trip now
[01:42] ---
    Shy hearts engrave the rhythm of adventure
[01:48] ---
    Snatch up the treasure here and there
[01:53] ---
    While laughing out loud
[01:55] ---
    As we dash by like a noisy party
[02:00] ---
    Make some waves...
[02:03] ---
    Life is "Adventurous"
[02:04] ---
    Be aware it's "Dangerous"
[02:06] ---
    Who's gonna be "One of us"
[02:08] ---
    And a trip goes on because
[02:09] ---
    We da pirate of the "Mass"
[02:11] ---
    To the West, To the East
[02:13] ---
    Gotta find my way, Sail away
[02:14] ---
    All the way to "One piece"!!
[02:15] ---
    Stuff a dream into your empty chest
[02:19] ---
    And spread your wings
[02:22] ---
    If the wind blowing through
    them dyes your heart
[02:26] ---
    Let's press forward
[02:28] ---
    Snatch up the treasure here and there
[02:33] ---
    While laughing out loud
[02:35] ---
    As we dash by like a noisy party
[02:39] ---
    Make some waves...
[02:42] ---
    
[02:46] ---
    Wealth, fame, power...
[02:51] ---
    Gold Roger, the King of the Pirates,
[02:53] ---
    once attained everything
    this world has to offer.
[02:56] ---
    The words he uttered just before his death
[02:59] ---
    drove people around the world to the seas.
[03:03] ---
    My treasure? If you want it, you can have it!
[03:07] ---
    Find it! I left everything
    this world has to offer there!
[03:12] ---
    And so men rushed onto the
    Grand Line in pursuit of romanticism!
[03:17] ---
    The world has truly entered
    a Great Pirate Era!
[03:21] ---
    
[03:29] ---
    Anyway, we should try to stay put!
[03:32] ---
    Luffy and the others are sure
    to come save us. You hear me?
[03:35] ---
    I'm with him! I don't wanna go outside again!
[03:39] ---
    I'm not going back in the forest or graveyard!
[03:41] ---
    Wha--?
[03:45] ---
    Why, you--!
[03:47] ---
    Someone's here?!
[03:48] ---
    Hey, Nami? Is there a problem?
[03:52] ---
    They're in the way...
[03:57] ---
    Huh?
[03:59] ---
    Caught ya!
[04:01] ---
    Please let me go!
[04:03] ---
    Guys, why don't you join my pirate--
[04:06] ---
    Cut that out!
[04:07] ---
    Hey, Absalom!
[04:09] ---
    I was searching for my bride, Hogback.
[04:15] ---
    That woman tickles my fancy.
[04:18] ---
    I'm going to make her mine!
[04:31] ---
    You're trembling. How adorable!
[04:35] ---
    You're so cute...
[04:38] ---
    I won't let you leave, children!
[04:42] ---
    Chopper! Nami! Head for the door!
[04:44] ---
    We're leaving the mansion!
[04:48] ---
    What's keeping you, Nami?!
[04:49] ---
    No!
[04:52] ---
    D-Don't tell me...
[04:54] ---
    It won't open! We're trapped in here!
[04:56] ---
    What?!
[04:58] ---
    Now you've made me mad!
[05:02] ---
    --I won't let you escape!
    --Now come on back!
[05:08] ---
    No!
[05:18] ---
    "The Zombie's Secret!
    Hogback's Nightmarish Laboratory!"
[05:26] ---
    Duck!
[05:35] ---
    That was close!
[05:36] ---
    Let's leave this room for now!
    Try another room!
[05:39] ---
    We won't let you escape!
[05:41] ---
    No!
[05:43] ---
    "Evil Be Gone"
[05:46] ---
    No! No, no! Let go!
[05:52] ---
    Wait!
[05:55] ---
    We're in a fireplace!
[05:57] ---
    No!
[06:01] ---
    We're doomed! There's nowhere left to run!
[06:04] ---
    No!!
[06:19] ---
    Where is this?
[06:21] ---
    Hey, they vanished!
    They disappeared in the fireplace!
[06:24] ---
    Crap! The entrance to the secret
    passage must have opened!
[06:27] ---
    Now they'll make their way
    to Hogback-sama's laboratory!
[06:31] ---
    After them!
[06:43] ---
    It's no use! They're pushing
    against the door on the other side.
[06:47] ---
    H-Hey, Usopp! Put some muscle into it!
[06:54] ---
    No!
[06:58] ---
    No!!
[07:10] ---
    No matter where they go, this mansion is
    stuffed with fellow "Surprise Zombies."
[07:27] ---
    Th-This is nuts!
[07:29] ---
    Gyah!
[07:31] ---
    No!
[07:33] ---
    The hallways are out!
    So are places with paintings!
[07:37] ---
    We need to find a room somewhere!
[07:39] ---
    That room!
[07:43] ---
    "Evil Be Gone"
[08:00] ---
    More paintings!
[08:04] ---
    A-Are those photos?
[08:07] ---
    What a relief!
[08:08] ---
    These aren't zombies, are they?
[08:10] ---
    Aren't these... of that one lady?
[08:14] ---
    Cindry-chan, the lady who hates plates...
[08:24] ---
    What is with this room?
[08:33] ---
    Now that I really look at her, the servant
    Cindry-chan is quite pretty, isn't she?
[08:38] ---
    So do you think this is her room?
[08:43] ---
    But would she hang a bunch of
    photos of herself in her own room?
[08:48] ---
    Her face and body were covered in stitches.
[08:55] ---
    I don't see any on her in these photos, do you?
[09:01] ---
    But I doubt they're of someone else,
    so are they old photos?
[09:15] ---
    Listen to this!
[09:17] ---
    "Victoria Cindry."
[09:20] ---
    Apparently she was a famous stage actress.
[09:24] ---
    Look! All of these are articles on her.
[09:28] ---
    Huh? A stage actress?
[09:30] ---
    But didn't the doc say she used
    to be a servant somewhere?
[09:34] ---
    She got the boot after she broke some plates...
[09:36] ---
    Going by this, that doesn't seem very likely...
[09:41] ---
    She was originally born into nobility.
[09:44] ---
    And she was popular since she was little...
[09:49] ---
    What's wrong?
[09:52] ---
    She fell from the stage...
[09:55] ---
    Ten years ago, there was
    an accident and she died!
[10:03] ---
    Wh-Wh-What're you talking about?!
    She was clearly alive!
[10:06] ---
    She wasn't dead!
[10:08] ---
    But if that obituary is legitimate,
[10:12] ---
    that means she died and came back to life!
[10:19] ---
    This island is filled with real zombies!
[10:22] ---
    We saw deceased that truly were resurrected!
[10:35] ---
    No!
[10:47] ---
    Talk about messed up...
[10:49] ---
    This place gets creepier by the second!
[10:52] ---
    I wish I didn't know the truth!
[10:56] ---
    What is it?!
[11:03] ---
    Look at those, Usopp!
[11:05] ---
    Aren't they treasure chests?
[11:07] ---
    You were quick to adapt!
[11:09] ---
    Oh, Usopp! Open it!
[11:10] ---
    Open up that chest!
[11:12] ---
    Uh, okay...
[11:16] ---
    Sorry! This isn't where we store the treasure!
[11:21] ---
    It's a jack-in-the-box!
[11:31] ---
    You've come out!
[11:34] ---
    Zombie Paintings!
[11:41] ---
    "This isn't where we store the treasure."
[11:43] ---
    I'm sure that's what the
    Jack-in-the-Box Zombie said!
[11:46] ---
    No!
[11:52] ---
    Oh, Bodyguard!
[11:55] ---
    I see some people have
    gotten lost in the mansion.
[11:58] ---
    Oh, it's you!
[12:00] ---
    Not a problem! I shall catch them for you.
[12:29] ---
    So like I said, stop jumping at the
    chance to recruit these weirdoes!
[12:34] ---
    As it is, we've already got
    a raccoon dog and a robot!
[12:38] ---
    Hey, I'm not a robot! I'm a cyborg, moron!
[12:42] ---
    It's obvious you aren't human anymore!
[12:44] ---
    At the core, I'm human!
[12:46] ---
    At the core, you're a pervert!
[12:48] ---
    Eh? Oh, well, as long as you understand...
[12:51] ---
    Hey, that wasn't a compliment!
[12:52] ---
    I wonder what will be next!
[12:57] ---
    This is a blast!
[13:10] ---
    Didn't we run into a treeman
    and a unicorn earlier?
[13:15] ---
    What about them?
[13:17] ---
    All of the bizarre animals in this
    forest seem to share these traits:
[13:20] ---
    Bandages, stitches and numbers
    tattooed onto their bodies.
[13:24] ---
    Numbers? Yeah, he is numbered, isn't he?
[13:28] ---
    Does that mean someone is overseeing them?
[13:30] ---
    Yes, that's what I would assume.
[13:36] ---
    Ne-ga-tive! Ne-ga-tive!
[13:39] ---
    --Ne-ga-tive! Ne-ga-tive!
    --Huh? I hear something.
[13:42] ---
    Ne-ga-tive! Ne-ga-tive! Ne-ga-tive!...
[13:51] ---
    There's a ghost!
[14:09] ---
    Ne-ga-tive! Ne-ga-tive! Ne-ga-tive!...
[14:13] ---
    There's a ghost!
[14:21] ---
    They're multiplying as they dance! Awesome!
[14:27] ---
    That's one creepy cheer.
[14:30] ---
    I'll catch them and keep them as pets!
[14:38] ---
    They're spirits through and through!
[14:40] ---
    All righty!
[14:43] ---
    Fresh Fire!
[14:50] ---
    Shoot! It didn't work.
[14:55] ---
    That was an epic fail.
    I'm such a loser this week.
[14:58] ---
    Nothing I do works out.
    I'm not sure I can live like this...
[15:04] ---
    I can hear the whole world booing me!
[15:08] ---
    Are you really that bummed out?!
[15:11] ---
    Okay! I've got the punk!
[15:17] ---
    If I could be reborn, I'd like to be a clam.
[15:21] ---
    I suck! I wish there was a
    hole for me to crawl into!
[15:25] ---
    What the heck are you two doing?!
[15:33] ---
    Do you think that perhaps touching
    those ghosts weakened their will?
[15:37] ---
    That's absurd!
[15:39] ---
    Those two are pathetic! They're at
    the mercy of those weird ghosts
[15:44] ---
    because they aren't calm
    and collected most of the time.
[15:52] ---
    I'm sorry I was ever born.
[15:54] ---
    That's enough!
[15:56] ---
    Sheesh...
[15:58] ---
    It looks like you were right, Robin-chan.
[16:04] ---
    Not only do they lack physical bodies,
[16:06] ---
    but they also break your
    will if you touch them.
[16:09] ---
    They would make for formidable foes.
[16:12] ---
    Definitely.
[16:15] ---
    What a fascinating island!
[16:28] ---
    Gah! Those ghosts are gonna
    pay the next time they pop up!
[16:32] ---
    I don't want them as pets!
[16:35] ---
    They must have a weakness! I'll wipe them out!
[16:40] ---
    You put on quite the show!
[16:42] ---
    Shuddup!
[16:43] ---
    "Man, I'm sorry! Sorry I was ever born!"
[16:49] ---
    Why, you...!
[17:02] ---
    It looks like we can put the numbered
    patchwork creatures into one category,
[17:07] ---
    but those ghosts were a
    completely different life form.
[17:10] ---
    Didn't one of them appear on our ship?
[17:13] ---
    The way they occasionally show up,
    it's like they're keeping tabs on us.
[17:17] ---
    The question is: Who is controlling them?
[17:35] ---
    Wow, it's a big cemetery!
[17:37] ---
    It's got character!
[17:39] ---
    Hey, let's eat here!
[17:42] ---
    Stupid! It'll ruin the food if we eat here!
[17:45] ---
    No, we're eating here!
    Nothing has ever once ruined a meal!
[17:49] ---
    Only you think that!
[17:51] ---
    Besides, we're in a hurry.
[18:10] ---
    Here!
[18:14] ---
    I'm not goin' back down! Are you stupid?!
[18:21] ---
    A severely injured old man?
[18:24] ---
    He's obviously a zombie!
[18:26] ---
    How dare you make fun of zombies?!
[18:29] ---
    Don't underestimate us!
[18:42] ---
    Are zombies supposed to be this full of life?
[18:45] ---
    Teach them just how
    dangerous zombies can be!
[18:59] ---
    What, you wanna fight?
[19:01] ---
    We can teach you a thing or two
    about how dangerous we are!
[19:23] ---
    600 Million Berry Jackpot!
[19:59] ---
    That's Hogback's laugh.
[20:08] ---
    What is this room?
[20:10] ---
    His laboratory!
[20:18] ---
    It's almost done!
[20:21] ---
    What a glorious mario!
[20:27] ---
    Behold, Cindry-chan!
    The work of a genius... is truly art!
[20:32] ---
    I hope you fail right before completion.
[20:36] ---
    How could you say that, Cindry-chan?!
[20:39] ---
    I swear, I'm taken aback each time
    you fling such cruel words at me!
[20:44] ---
    I made dinner.
[20:46] ---
    Oh, is that right? What are we having tonight?
[20:48] ---
    Spaghetti soup.
[20:52] ---
    The soup is vanishing right
    before my eyes, Cindry-chan!
[20:55] ---
    I wish plates would cease to exist.
[20:58] ---
    Yeah, I get that!
[20:59] ---
    But if that's how you feel,
    why must you choose such bold dishes?
[21:03] ---
    Aren't there plenty of other
    things you could make instead?
[21:05] ---
    --Cindry-chan is also in there...
    --Let's see! There's fried soba noodles!
[21:07] ---
    Or even fried udon noodles!
[21:08] ---
    See? There's also fried pork cutlet!
[21:10] ---
    I wonder if she's really the lady
    who died in that accident...
[21:20] ---
    I can't believe it...
[21:21] ---
    I'm sick of these soupy dishes!
[21:23] ---
    What about your spaghetti soup?
[21:25] ---
    I-I-I'll eat it...!
[21:27] ---
    I'll eat that! I'd like some!
[21:30] ---
    What's on top of the table?
[21:32] ---
    It's probably a human corpse.
[21:35] ---
    Based on his complexion, he's no longer alive.
[21:38] ---
    He's numbered, just like the
    zombies in the graveyard!
[21:42] ---
    He said that it's almost done.
[21:45] ---
    That settles it!
[21:48] ---
    He's clearly trying to turn that into a zombie.
[21:52] ---
    Hogback revived all of
    the zombies on the island.
[21:56] ---
    That's the only possible explanation!
[21:59] ---
    But medicine can only save
    people before they die.
[22:03] ---
    He can make the corpse as strong as he wants,
[22:06] ---
    but it won't bring the person back to life!
[22:09] ---
    We'll never figure this one out!
[22:12] ---
    If we spy on him, we'll learn the
    secret to how he revives people!
[22:37] ---
    Good day to you!
[22:40] ---
    If you're curious about
    what's inside, you should go in.
[22:45] ---
    "Yo ho ho"?!
[22:46] ---
    B-Brook...?!
[23:25] ---
    I never expected that man to be here!
[23:28] ---
    Hey, Robin! Do you know him?
[23:30] ---
    This man's bounty, Luffy,
    used to surpass yours!
[23:35] ---
    It used to...?
[23:36] ---
    So he must be the man pulling the strings...
[23:40] ---
    On the next episode of One Piece!
[23:41] ---
    "His Name Is Moria! The Great
    Shadow-Seizing Pirate's Trap!"
[23:45] ---
    I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!!
[23:47] ---