E9 - The Honorable Liar? Captain Usopp!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    Wealth, fame, power...
[00:03] ---
    Gold Roger,
    the King of the Pirates,
[00:05] ---
    attained everything
    this world has to offer.
[00:07] ---
    The words he uttered just before
    his death drove people to the seas.
[00:11] ---
    My treasure?
    If you want it, you can have it!
[00:15] ---
    Find it! I left everything
    this world has to offer there!
[00:21] ---
    And so men head for the
    Grand Line in pursuit of their dreams!
[00:26] ---
    The world has truly
    entered a Great Pirate Era!
[00:30] ---
    We're going to gather up
    all our dreams
[00:35] ---
    and set out in search
    of something to find
[00:41] ---
    ONE PIECE!
[00:48] ---
    Compasses only cause delays
[00:53] ---
    Delirious with fever,
    I take the helm
[00:59] ---
    If the dusty treasure map has
    been verified, it's not a legend!
[01:11] ---
    When it comes to personal storms,
[01:17] ---
    simply ride aboard
    someone else's biorhythm
[01:22] ---
    and pretend it isn't there!
[01:26] ---
    We're going to gather up
    all our dreams
[01:31] ---
    and set out in search
    of something to find
[01:37] ---
    A coin in my pocket,
    and do you wanna be my friend?
[01:43] ---
    We are, We are on the cruise!
[01:48] ---
    We are!
[02:21] ---
    Terrible news, everyone!
[02:25] ---
    Pirates are attacking!
[02:28] ---
    Pirates! Pirates!
[02:30] ---
    Pirates are attacking!
[02:33] ---
    Run for your lives!
[02:36] ---
    Pirates! Run for your lives!
[02:45] ---
    "Liar of Justice? Captain Usopp"
[02:58] ---
    It'd be reckless to go straight
    into the Grand Line now!
[03:04] ---
    Yeah, some meat would
    be nice to have first.
[03:08] ---
    Eating nothing but fruit
    everyday is no good...
[03:11] ---
    Need some booze, too!
[03:13] ---
    What're you talking about?!
[03:17] ---
    That's not what I mean!
[03:18] ---
    The Grand Line is the most
    dangerous place in the world!
[03:22] ---
    On top of that, it's crawling with
    strong pirates after the One Piece!
[03:26] ---
    And they're all on
    powerful ships, of course!
[03:29] ---
    We need more people, too.
[03:31] ---
    The number of crew members,
    the lack of equipment on this ship...
[03:35] ---
    There's no way we
    could survive like this!
[03:38] ---
    Yeah, we need a cook. And a musician.
[03:41] ---
    A musician?!
[03:44] ---
    You're so stupid...
[03:47] ---
    A little to the south of here is
    an island with people living on it.
[03:52] ---
    It'd be best if we can get
    ahold of a real ship there...
[03:56] ---
    Alright! Time to eat some meat!
[03:59] ---
    Don't forget the booze!
[04:00] ---
    You guys!
[04:07] ---
    Pirates are here! Pirates!
[04:13] ---
    Everyone run away! Pirates are here!
[04:19] ---
    Pirates!
[04:22] ---
    Terrible news!
[04:27] ---
    Pi... rates...
[04:34] ---
    The pirates...
[04:36] ---
    ...are just a lie!
[04:42] ---
    Oww...
[04:45] ---
    You exaggeration-spewing kid!
    I'm gonna get you today for sure!
[04:49] ---
    Stay right where you are!
[04:51] ---
    I'll show you a thing or two!
[04:56] ---
    Here they come!
    Here they come! Here they come!
[04:59] ---
    Get back here, you damn kid!
[05:03] ---
    Just try and catch me!
[05:06] ---
    Come and get me!
[05:13] ---
    Dammit! He got away again!
[05:17] ---
    --He's one hell of a troublemaker!
    --He's in trouble if I find him!
[05:22] ---
    Where the hell'd he go?!
[05:34] ---
    Another job well done today!
[05:36] ---
    I sent the wind of excitement
    into this boring village!
[05:42] ---
    There he is!
[05:44] ---
    Oh, it's you guys!
[05:46] ---
    Good morning, Captain Usopp!
[05:49] ---
    The Usopp Pirates have arrived!
[05:54] ---
    Pepper! Carrot!
[05:55] ---
    Is it just you two? Where's Onion?
[06:01] ---
    Terrible news! Terrible news!
[06:05] ---
    Oww!
[06:07] ---
    Terrible news!
[06:09] ---
    --Onion...
    --What's he freaking out about?
[06:12] ---
    Terrible news! Terrible news!
[06:15] ---
    Terrible news! Pirates are here!
[06:18] ---
    There's a boat with a skull
    mark at the north shore!
[06:21] ---
    Yeah, right!
[06:24] ---
    It's the truth!
[06:26] ---
    T-The truth?
[06:29] ---
    It's true! This is bad!
[06:32] ---
    Oops! It's time for my snack!
[06:35] ---
    Don't run away!
[06:37] ---
    Actually, I have "I'll Die if
    I Don't Eat My Snacks-iosis"!
[06:43] ---
    Liar!
[06:45] ---
    Don't you want to be
    a real pirate, Captain?!
[06:50] ---
    What good is a pirate
    who's afraid of pirates?!
[06:53] ---
    If I recall correctly,
    it was Buggy the Clown's mark!
[06:57] ---
    B-B-Buggy the Clown?!
[07:02] ---
    I think I'll just...
[07:05] ---
    But it was two small boats!
[07:08] ---
    And three people or so...
[07:11] ---
    Alright! Let's go, Usopp Pirates!
[07:14] ---
    To protect this village's peace!
[07:17] ---
    Alright, let's go! Follow me!
[07:20] ---
    R-Right!
[07:31] ---
    Finally on dry land again...
[07:35] ---
    There's a village past here?!
[07:37] ---
    Yeah. It looks like it's
    a small one, though...
[07:40] ---
    Oh! In that case, meat, meat!
    Meat, meat, meat!
[07:44] ---
    There's a place to eat
    in this village, right?!
[07:46] ---
    Forget about meat
    for a minute, will you?!
[07:53] ---
    Huh?!
[07:57] ---
    Careful!
[07:59] ---
    I sense people!
[08:01] ---
    Where?! Where?! Where?!
[08:03] ---
    Look out!
[08:20] ---
    So cool!
[08:22] ---
    Is this the time to be impressed?!
[08:26] ---
    I am Usopp, leader of the great
    pirates who reign over this village!
[08:30] ---
    People praise me--
    and then praise me more--
[08:34] ---
    as "Captain Usopp"!
[08:37] ---
    Huh?
[08:38] ---
    If you're thinking of attacking
    this village, then forget it!
[08:42] ---
    My 80 million subordinates
    won't sit by quietly!
[08:47] ---
    Awesome!
[08:53] ---
    You're lying, aren't you?
[08:55] ---
    Yikes! She saw through it!
[08:57] ---
    See, you admitted it.
[09:01] ---
    I admitted it to her!
[09:07] ---
    What?! He was lying?!
[09:09] ---
    Curse you, you crafty tactician!
[09:11] ---
    80 million may have
    been an exaggeration,
[09:13] ---
    but I do have great men
    under my command!
[09:22] ---
    Like maybe three people?
[09:26] ---
    She saw through it!
[09:28] ---
    R-Run!
[09:31] ---
    H-Hey, you guys! Don't run away!
[09:36] ---
    I've never heard of pirates
    using slingshots before!
[09:43] ---
    You're neat!
[09:47] ---
    Hey, you! Don't insult me!
[09:49] ---
    I'm a very proud man!
[09:53] ---
    Because of my great
    pride, people call me...
[09:57] ---
    "Proud Usopp"!
[10:01] ---
    You saw it yourself just now!
[10:04] ---
    My slingshot skills are far
    greater than your average pistol!
[10:11] ---
    Now that you've drawn your pistol,
    put your life on the line.
[10:15] ---
    Huh?!
[10:18] ---
    I'm saying those aren't
    for threatening people.
[10:29] ---
    What you're looking at
    now are real pirates!
[11:37] ---
    Now that you've drawn your pistol,
    put your life on the line.
[11:42] ---
    Huh?!
[11:44] ---
    I'm saying those aren't
    for threatening people.
[12:13] ---
    R-Real pirates definitely have way
    more punch behind their words...
[12:19] ---
    Awesome...
[12:29] ---
    --We stole those lines!
    --Eh?
[12:31] ---
    From Shanks, a pirate I respect!
[12:35] ---
    S-Shanks?!
[12:37] ---
    You know Red-Haired Shanks,
    the great pirate?!
[12:42] ---
    Yeah. Your dad's Yasopp, right?
[12:46] ---
    Eh?
[12:57] ---
    Yeah, Yasopp is my old man...
[13:04] ---
    But how do you know that?
[13:07] ---
    "Food"
[13:16] ---
    Good, huh?!
[13:19] ---
    I met him when I was a kid!
[13:22] ---
    So my old man's on Shanks' ship?
[13:24] ---
    Yep! You guys look the same,
[13:26] ---
    so when I first saw you, I wondered...
[13:29] ---
    Really?!
[13:31] ---
    My old man's on such
    an awesome ship?!
[13:34] ---
    I dunno about now,
    but I bet he's still with him.
[13:39] ---
    After all, your dad was
    a good sharpshooter!
[14:00] ---
    Awesome!
[14:01] ---
    That's nothing. I could even shoot
    an ant right between the eyes!
[14:10] ---
    Y'know, Luffy,
[14:12] ---
    I got a kid named Usopp,
    just about your age!
[14:16] ---
    You've already told me
    lots of times! I'm sick of it!
[14:18] ---
    What?!
[14:22] ---
    Well, I'm gonna keep on
    tellin' you more about him!
[14:25] ---
    It was sad to say goodbye,
    but there was no other choice!
[14:29] ---
    There was but one reason:
    the pirate flag was calling me!
[14:38] ---
    Stuck! Stuck!
[14:45] ---
    Usopp. I heard enough about
    you to make my ears sore.
[14:49] ---
    Yasopp was a great pirate!
[14:52] ---
    Yeah, huh?!
[14:54] ---
    I'm proud of my old man, who leapt
    onto these possibly endless seas...
[15:00] ---
    ...to live with his life on the line!
[15:02] ---
    Then that makes this easier!
[15:05] ---
    Do you have any friends in this
    village who know how to sail...
[15:08] ---
    ...and anyone who
    can supply a big ship?!
[15:12] ---
    As you can see, it's just a tiny village...
[15:14] ---
    Sorry, but we can't
    live up to your hopes.
[15:18] ---
    On the top of the hill...
[15:19] ---
    There was a huge mansion.
[15:22] ---
    Say! Do you know them, Usopp?!
[15:24] ---
    Think you could ask them
    to help pay for one?
[15:27] ---
    You can't go there!
[15:31] ---
    I-I just remembered
    something I hafta do!
[15:35] ---
    I have lots of influence here!
[15:37] ---
    Eat and drink as much as you want!
[15:40] ---
    Alright! Later!
[15:44] ---
    Why was he in such a rush?
[16:14] ---
    You wish to see Usopp?
[16:17] ---
    Not this again...
[16:19] ---
    May I? I want to talk to him.
[16:23] ---
    That will not do.
[16:24] ---
    That man is the village's
    biggest exaggerator!
[16:28] ---
    For someone in your weakened state,
[16:30] ---
    Usopp's exaggerations
    would be too much to handle!
[16:33] ---
    But...
[16:34] ---
    Your late parents firmly
    instructed me to protect you...
[16:38] ---
    ...to the fullest of
    my abilities, Miss Kaya.
[16:42] ---
    Now then, I'll leave
    your medicine here.
[16:45] ---
    Please be sure to take it.
[16:51] ---
    Cheapskate.
[16:53] ---
    "Cheapskate" will do just fine.
[16:54] ---
    What's bad is bad.
[17:15] ---
    Pardon the intrusion--
[17:22] ---
    Usopp-san!
[17:23] ---
    Heya! You seem as down as ever!
[17:27] ---
    I'm sorry!
[17:28] ---
    I'd really like to invite
    you in as a real guest...
[17:32] ---
    ...but Klahadore refuses to allow it...
[17:36] ---
    He's not a bad person, though.
[17:38] ---
    Don't sweat it!
[17:39] ---
    After all, I am a brave
    warrior of the sea!
[17:42] ---
    I'd only feel cramped inside a house!
[17:47] ---
    So what adventure are you
    going to tell me today?
[17:50] ---
    Hmm, let's see...
[17:53] ---
    Alright!
[17:54] ---
    The story of when I fought the
    giant goldfish at the South Pole...
[17:57] ---
    ...when I was five!
[17:59] ---
    Goldfish?
[18:00] ---
    Yeah! What first shocked me...
[18:03] ---
    ...was the immense size of its poop!
[18:05] ---
    It was so big that I landed on it,
[18:06] ---
    thinking it was solid ground!
[18:24] ---
    Is this really the place?!
[18:26] ---
    Yeah, the pirates dragged him inside!
[18:28] ---
    We gotta save him!
[18:29] ---
    But they're real pirates!
[18:31] ---
    They might've grilled and eaten him!
[18:33] ---
    You idiot!
    It's old hags who eat people!
[18:40] ---
    Alright! Get ready, you guys!
[18:44] ---
    This will be the most epic battle
    since the Usopp Pirates' formation!
[18:49] ---
    Yeah!
[18:52] ---
    The Usopp Pirates have arrived!
[18:57] ---
    What're they?
[19:01] ---
    --The captain is gone!
    --You don't think he...
[19:04] ---
    H-Hey, pirates!
[19:06] ---
    What'd you do with
    our Captain Usopp?!
[19:08] ---
    --What'd you do with him?!
    --What'd you do with him?!
[19:11] ---
    That meat was yummy!
[19:13] ---
    --Meat?!
    --Don't tell me the captain...
[19:18] ---
    W-What?! What did you do?!
[19:21] ---
    If you're lookin' for your captain...
[19:25] ---
    ...we ate him.
[19:30] ---
    --Old hag!
    --What're you looking at me for?!
[19:35] ---
    You just had to say something stupid!
[19:41] ---
    Whew, it was just a joke?
[19:50] ---
    Huge!
[19:52] ---
    If our captain ran off at
    this hour, he'd be here.
[19:55] ---
    Oh? What's he come here for?
[19:58] ---
    To lie!
[19:59] ---
    That's a bad thing!
[20:01] ---
    He's not bad! He's great! Right?!
[20:04] ---
    Yeah! He's great!
[20:06] ---
    How does that work?
[20:08] ---
    --Kaya, the girl who lives here,
    is weak, and she's had depression...
[20:09] ---
    --There was a ship
    stopped near the goldfish,
    --Kaya, the girl who lives here, is weak, and she's had depression...
[20:12] ---
    --There was a ship
    stopped near the goldfish,
    --...ever since her parents died from an illness a year ago.
[20:13] ---
    --and on it was a pirate
    bigger than even a mountain!
    --...ever since her parents died from an illness a year ago.
[20:16] ---
    --His face was hilarious!
    --...ever since her parents died
    from an illness a year ago.
[20:17] ---
    --His face was hilarious!
    --Even though she has lots
    of money, she's so sad.
[20:18] ---
    --Even though she has lots
    of money, she's so sad.
[20:23] ---
    So our captain tells his special
    made-up stories to make her laugh!
[20:27] ---
    'Cause our captain's
    the best at telling lies!
[20:30] ---
    Never heard of a pirate with
    a face like that, have you?
[20:33] ---
    Oh, so he's great!
[20:36] ---
    Yeah!
[20:37] ---
    I like the captain's meddling side!
[20:40] ---
    I like his bossy side!
[20:43] ---
    I like his exaggerating side!
[20:45] ---
    So that's helped her
    feel a little better?
[20:48] ---
    Yeah, a lot better!
[20:50] ---
    Great! Let's ask her for a ship after all!
[20:54] ---
    It's thanks to Usopp
    that she's gotten better.
[20:58] ---
    Just getting in is impossible!
[21:00] ---
    There are way strong
    guards at the gate!
[21:02] ---
    --Huh?
    --Where'd Luffy go?
[21:04] ---
    I'll go ask!
[21:06] ---
    Wait, you're not gonna--?!
[21:08] ---
    Gum-Gum...
[21:12] ---
    --H-His arms stretched!
    --He's a monster!
[21:15] ---
    ...Pardon...
[21:16] ---
    --Hey!
    --Wait, Luffy!
[21:18] ---
    ...the Intrusion!
[21:23] ---
    ...And so we escaped into the sky
    atop a gigantic slingshot ball!
[21:31] ---
    Huh?
[21:33] ---
    Yahoo!
[21:43] ---
    --That worked great!
    --Did not!
[21:46] ---
    A-Are you all right?!
[21:49] ---
    Yeah! It's okay, it's okay!
[21:51] ---
    They're new recruits who heard
    all about me and came from afar...
[21:54] ---
    ...to join the Usopp Pirates!
[21:57] ---
    No, not me!
[22:00] ---
    I'm here to ask a favor!
[22:02] ---
    A favor? Of me?
[22:03] ---
    --Yeah! We want a big ship...
    --You, there!
[22:09] ---
    What are you doing?!
[22:13] ---
    Klahadore...
[22:16] ---
    I don't appreciate you breaking
    in here without permission!
[22:26] ---
    Who's he?
[22:55] ---
    When I was little, I had
    a vision of a treasure map
[23:09] ---
    and I always searched
    for that miraculous place
[23:16] ---
    before someone else could
    beat me to it
[23:25] ---
    If the world is going to change
[23:37] ---
    before I can even attain my dream
[23:44] ---
    then take me to the time
    when I knew nothing
[23:51] ---
    so that my memories won't fade
[24:10] ---
    Who does that butler think he is,
    treating people like thieves?!
[24:12] ---
    Yeah! We only came
    inside to get a ship!
[24:16] ---
    That has "thief" written all over it.
[24:18] ---
    That weird guy's way more suspicious!
[24:21] ---
    What's that ring?
[24:22] ---
    Hey, look! That butler is
    with him! What's going on?!
[24:26] ---
    On the next episode of One Piece!
[24:27] ---
    "The Weirdest Guy Ever!
    Jango the Hypnotist"
[24:31] ---
    I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!!