E288 - Fukurou's Miscalculation! My Cola Is the Water of Life!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:15] ---
    Wealth, fame, power...
[00:17] ---
    Gold Roger,
    the King of the Pirates,
[00:19] ---
    attained everything
    this world has to offer.
[00:21] ---
    The words he uttered just before
    his death drove people to the seas.
[00:25] ---
    My treasure?
[00:26] ---
    If you want it, you can have it!
[00:28] ---
    Find it!
[00:29] ---
    I left everything
    this world has to offer there!
[00:34] ---
    And so men head for the Grand Line
    in pursuit of their dreams!
[00:39] ---
    The world has truly
    entered a Great Pirate Era!
[00:43] song
    We're going to gather up
    all our dreams
[00:49] song
    and set out in search
    of something to find
[00:54] song
    ONE PIECE!
[01:01] song
    Compasses only cause delays
[01:06] song
    Delirious with fever,
    I take the helm
[01:12] song
    If the dusty treasure map
[01:17] song
    has been verified,
[01:20] song
    it's not a legend!
[01:24] song
    When it comes to personal storms,
[01:30] song
    simply ride aboard
    someone else's biorhythm
[01:35] song
    and pretend it isn't there!
[01:39] song
    We're going to gather up
    all our dreams
[01:44] song
    and set out in search
    of something to find
[01:50] song
    A coin in my pocket,
    and do you wanna be my friend?
[01:56] song
    We are, We are on the cruise!
[02:01] song
    We are!
[02:06] ---
    Wealth, fame, power...
[02:11] ---
    Gold Roger, the King of the Pirates,
[02:13] ---
    once attained everything
    this world has to offer.
[02:16] ---
    The words he uttered
    just before his death
[02:19] ---
    drove people around
    the world to the seas.
[02:23] ---
    My treasure?
[02:25] ---
    If you want it, you can have it!
[02:27] ---
    Find it!
[02:29] ---
    I left everything
    this world has to offer there!
[02:32] ---
    And so men rushed onto the
    Grand Line in pursuit of romanticism!
[02:37] ---
    The world has truly entered
    a Great Pirate Era!
[02:46] ---
    I can see the Gates of Justice now,
[02:48] ---
    but is it possible to go there
    on a regular boat?
[02:51] ---
    I don't have much time anyway.
    I guess I'll try something.
[02:55] ---
    Here we go!
[02:58] ---
    Whoa! Pirate guy!
[03:01] ---
    What're you doing?!
[03:09] ---
    Sanji-kun...
[03:11] ---
    Were you really
    not able to defeat her?
[03:13] ---
    Did you really fight seriously?
[03:16] ---
    It was that woman who
    you fought, wasn't it?
[03:19] ---
    You're soft with women.
[03:22] ---
    I'm sorry about the key.
[03:25] ---
    That's not it!
[03:26] ---
    I'm saying that because
    of that stupid chivalry,
[03:28] ---
    you're gonna lose your life!
[03:31] ---
    You're gonna stick to it even
    after getting hurt like this?!
[03:34] ---
    What're you gonna do if you die?!
[03:36] ---
    It's not like...
[03:38] ---
    I want to die.
[03:41] ---
    But
[03:42] ---
    I grew up having the idea that
    I shouldn't kick women beat into me.
[03:46] ---
    So...
[03:48] ---
    even if it costs me my life...
[03:50] ---
    ...I won't kick a woman!
[03:58] ---
    You're a fool.
[03:59] ---
    Fool!
[04:01] ---
    Hey! What're you doing, Nami?!
[04:03] ---
    If running away is also
    against your chivalry,
[04:06] ---
    at least ditch that chivalry!
[04:08] ---
    It's not worth dying in vain over.
[04:13] ---
    Leave that woman to me.
[04:16] ---
    Also...
[04:18] ---
    I think a little more of
    your chivalry than I did before.
[04:22] ---
    What?!
[04:22] ---
    Did she just say
    that she loves me more?
[04:25] ---
    No, she didn't!
[04:32] ---
    I'm not kind.
[04:36] ---
    Neither am I.
[04:37] ---
    Sounds like we can get along.
[04:54] ---
    Yoyoi!
[04:55] ---
    Hold it!
[04:58] ---
    The octopus guy!
[04:59] ---
    I won't...
[05:00] ---
    I won't let you get away!
[05:06] ---
    Nami, you go deal with that woman!
[05:08] ---
    I'll do something about this guy!
[05:10] ---
    Okay!
[05:12] ---
    Yoi! Yoi! Yoyoyoi!
[05:15] ---
    Are you going to be in my way?!
[05:17] ---
    Cloven...
[05:19] ---
    Cross!
[05:36] ---
    How dare she?!
[05:39] ---
    She got away again!
[05:42] ---
    You're dealing with me!
[05:45] ---
    Come on!
[05:49] ---
    "Fukurou's Miscalculation!
    My Cola Is the Water of Life"
[06:07] ---
    Seriously, there's no way you can cross
    water like this on a boat, now is there?
[06:10] ---
    Are you an idiot?!
[06:13] ---
    But Robin was taken to those gates!
[06:17] ---
    Unless I hurry up, I won't
    be able to bring her back!
[06:24] ---
    I should be able to reach the
    building right in front of it, right?
[06:27] ---
    Hey! What're you doing?!
[06:29] ---
    Wait, pirate guy!
[06:30] ---
    Calm down!
[06:32] ---
    If I can't cross the sea,
    then I have no choice but to jump!
[06:35] ---
    We came to tell you how to
    get to the Gates of Justice!
[06:40] ---
    What?
[06:59] ---
    What's this place?
[07:00] ---
    A basement?
[07:01] ---
    It's an undersea passage.
[07:03] ---
    To get to the
    Gates of Justice, you go under the sea.
[07:07] ---
    I see.
[07:09] ---
    Okay, then!
[07:09] ---
    Hey, wait!
    Do you know how to get there?!
[07:19] ---
    In any case, you're amazing.
[07:21] ---
    I'm impressed that you knew
    about a passage like this!
[07:24] ---
    I saw Lucci's servant going down
    the stairs laughing very loudly.
[07:29] ---
    So I followed them.
[07:31] sign
    "The servant"
[07:34] ---
    If they don't know where the entrance is,
    they can't come after us!
[07:37] ---
    Serves them right!
[07:39] ---
    Lucci and that black-haired lady
    went through the doors, too.
[07:57] ---
    So these are the ones, huh?
[08:02] ---
    These are quite strong iron doors.
[08:05] ---
    Do you know how to open them?
[08:08] ---
    The servant was touching around here,
[08:11] ---
    so I bet you can operate
    them with this keyhole...
[08:14] ---
    ...though we don't have the key.
[08:24] ---
    You guys, stay back.
[08:26] ---
    Huh? What're you gonna do?
[08:30] ---
    We can go to the Gates of
    Justice through here, right?
[08:33] ---
    Er... Yeah...
[08:46] ---
    Third Gear!
[09:26] ---
    They opened...
[09:37] ---
    All right! I'm heading there now!
[09:40] ---
    What?! How come you're small now?!
[09:57] ---
    That pirate guy sure is interesting!
[10:02] ---
    Now, let's get back to work, too!
[10:07] ---
    I-I just heard a loud noise.
[10:10] ---
    Was that my imagination?
[10:11] ---
    No, it couldn't have been.
[10:13] ---
    Could that noise have been one of
    the pirates destroying the doors?
[10:17] ---
    What?! That's not possible!
[10:19] ---
    Those are thick iron doors!
[10:22] ---
    Besides, there's no way that
    they could find those doors!
[10:25] ---
    Well, they should know where they are,
    since a child and her pet were following us.
[10:30] ---
    What?!
[10:32] ---
    I-If you knew that,
    why didn't you kill them?!
[10:38] ---
    Because...
[10:40] ---
    ...I was given no such order.
[10:42] ---
    Wh...
[10:44] ---
    What?! You idiot!
[10:46] ---
    For something so trivial,
    use your own discretion!
[10:49] ---
    Can't you tell what'll happen if
    you don't do anything about it?!
[10:52] ---
    So what're you saying?!
[10:53] ---
    Are you saying that
    someone's headed this way?!
[10:55] ---
    I would say that's the case.
[10:57] ---
    Ahh! I'm scared!
[11:00] ---
    Oh, shut up!
[11:02] ---
    Oh, that was me.
[11:03] ---
    Listen, Lucci!
[11:05] ---
    Your main priority
    is to protect my life!
[11:09] ---
    You got that?!
[11:10] ---
    Also, kill anyone
    who tries to get in my way!
[11:14] ---
    Defying me is an act of rebellion
    against the World Government!
[11:19] ---
    They deserve to be killed!
[11:24] ---
    Huh?! What's that look?!
[11:33] ---
    You have no time to worry
    about others, Nico Robin.
[11:37] ---
    Hell is already around the corner.
[11:39] ---
    Lucci! Bring her already.
[12:03] ---
    All right! My body's back to normal!
[12:08] ---
    Just wait, Robin!
[12:13] ---
    I'll be sure to beat the crap
    out of that pigeon guy!
[12:22] ---
    Well, it was his own fault
    that Sanji-kun lost...
[12:28] ---
    ...but what in the world
    did she do to him?
[12:58] ---
    What's with this woman?
[13:04] ---
    She's got some nerve.
[13:28] ---
    Dammit! When I have to refill
    my cola as soon as possible...
[13:33] ---
    For someone with such a large body,
    he sure does like to jump around.
[13:41] ---
    Chapapa... I'm right here.
[13:46] ---
    Seems like you're at least quick
    when it comes to escaping.
[13:49] ---
    Chapapa...
[13:51] ---
    I'm under no obligation
    to take your proud punches.
[13:56] ---
    Franky Triangle Jacker!
[14:02] ---
    Chapapa.
[14:04] ---
    No way...
[14:06] ---
    I'd get
    hit by sideburns like that!
[14:08] ---
    I've got you!
[14:12] ---
    Weapons Left!
[14:20] ---
    Seems like I'm almost out of cola.
[14:22] ---
    I'd better go to the kitchen now!
[14:23] ---
    Hold it!
[14:25] ---
    Dammit! He dodged my attack!
[14:28] ---
    Damn wimp, you're an
    expert at running away!
[14:30] ---
    Chapa!
[14:32] ---
    What'd you say?!
[14:35] ---
    What's the matter, wimp?
[14:37] ---
    You're not running away this time?
[14:40] ---
    You bastard!
[14:42] ---
    You made me mad with that word!
[14:46] ---
    Take my killer fist!
[14:48] ---
    It's a super heavy punch combined
    with Finger Pistol's speed!
[14:52] ---
    Solid Beast!
[15:00] ---
    Chapapa...!
[15:04] ---
    Such a modest, ineffective punch...
[15:08] ---
    Strong...
[15:10] ---
    Iron Body!
[15:11] ---
    ...Hammer!
[15:18] ---
    That was a pathetic punch.
[15:21] ---
    Solid Beast!
[15:38] ---
    Your punches are flabby.
[15:43] ---
    No.
[15:44] ---
    Your punches are limp.
[15:47] ---
    Then, your punches are flimsy.
[15:50] ---
    Your underpants are lazy.
[15:55] ---
    Underpants?
[16:01] ---
    They're not punches!
[16:03] ---
    Underpants! That's what you are!
[16:05] ---
    You damn bra jerk!
[16:07] ---
    Shut up, socks!
[16:09] ---
    Long johns!
[16:10] ---
    Loose shorts!
[16:11] ---
    Loincloth!
[16:12] ---
    Chapapapapa!
[16:22] ---
    Get off of me, you bastard!
[16:24] ---
    Shut up, change purse!
[16:26] ---
    All right!
[16:27] ---
    I was able to enter the kitchen!
[16:31] ---
    There it is! A huge refrigerator!
[16:39] ---
    Is that him?
[16:40] ---
    A gorilla
    power holder... probably...
[16:43] ---
    Dammit!
[16:44] ---
    Three minutes have already passed?
[16:47] ---
    I used the rumble ball too soon.
[16:50] ---
    What am I gonna do?
[16:54] ---
    Yoyoi!
[16:58] ---
    Disappear from this world!
[17:01] ---
    This is the finishing blow!
[17:04] ---
    Yoyo...!
[17:06] ---
    You bastard!
[17:09] ---
    Good! It's got a lock!
[17:11] ---
    Chapa! Kumadori!
[17:15] ---
    All right! I locked him in!
[17:17] ---
    How dare you...?
[17:18] ---
    Hey, hold on a sec, gorilla!
[17:20] ---
    I need that fridge!
[17:22] ---
    Ahh! CP9 and the punk!
[17:24] ---
    I'm Franky! I'm on your side, remember?!
[17:27] ---
    Who'd you call a gorilla?!
[17:28] ---
    You're too slow!
[17:29] ---
    Listen.
[17:30] ---
    Just like Luffy,
    I haven't forgiven you yet.
[17:34] ---
    The reason Usopp left us was...
[17:38] ---
    It all goes back to you!
[17:40] ---
    Give us Usopp back!
[17:42] ---
    Like I said, you guys
    were with him earlier.
[17:45] ---
    That's not important right now!
[17:48] ---
    Don't you wanna save Nico Robin?!
[17:50] ---
    I do! Robin!
[17:53] ---
    Then get three bottles of cola from
    that fridge and give them to me!
[17:57] ---
    With cola, I can power up!
[17:59] ---
    I'll take care of these guys in
    an instant and take their keys!
[18:03] ---
    What kind of idiot actually
    gets stronger with cola?
[18:06] ---
    Shut up! That'd be me!
[18:09] ---
    Just how long...
[18:11] ---
    are you gonna
    keep up the comedy act?!
[18:14] ---
    On top of that, you were trying to
    have a tea break during a battle?
[18:18] ---
    How rude!
[18:20] ---
    Solid Beast Secret Technique...
[18:25] ---
    ...Owl Thrashing!
[18:30] ---
    Chapapapapa!
[18:33] ---
    Beans Left!
[18:43] ---
    What was that?!
[18:48] ---
    Ahh! This is terrible!
[18:49] ---
    That's right!
    He's on our side right now!
[18:52] ---
    I'll do what he told me to.
[18:56] ---
    If I open and close the door
    within a second, he can't come out!
[19:01] ---
    Yoyoi!
[19:02] ---
    The door has...
[19:08] ---
    All right!
[19:09] ---
    Franky!
[19:11] ---
    Thanks!
[19:20] ---
    Fresh!
[19:26] ---
    What the...?
[19:30] ---
    Freshness is most important!
    Vegetable Punch! Take this!
[19:33] ---
    Solid Beast.
[19:37] ---
    Hey! That was vegetable juice!
[19:41] ---
    Why would I want health to
    be a priority, you bastard?!
[19:43] ---
    Give me cola!
[19:45] ---
    Oh, so it wasn't because he was thirsty.
[19:48] ---
    Yoyoi! The door...
[19:51] ---
    Here you go!
[19:52] ---
    Thanks!
[19:56] ---
    I'm feeling good!
[20:00] ---
    Well...
[20:03] ---
    ...let me sit.
[20:05] ---
    My work in
    the field is done for now.
[20:08] ---
    Stop being so upset.
[20:10] ---
    Don't fight.
[20:11] ---
    Why don't you have some tea?
[20:13] ---
    Tea wouldn't...
[20:15] ---
    ...give me energy! You moron!
[20:20] ---
    He's... funny.
[20:22] ---
    Hey!
[20:23] ---
    What's with that "I wonder what
    happens with other drinks" look?!
[20:28] ---
    This'll be the last time, you damn deer!
[20:30] ---
    So it doesn't depend
    on how you're feeling?
[20:32] ---
    I need only cola!
[20:36] ---
    That's cola! Cola without a doubt!
[20:39] ---
    Thanks!
[20:43] ---
    I don't know what the deal is,
    but I'm not gonna let you have your way!
[20:47] ---
    Tempest Kick!
[20:50] ---
    Franky!
[21:02] ---
    Super!
[21:30] ---
    Chapapa... What's the deal?
[21:32] ---
    It's not like drinking cola would
    make a difference or anything.
[21:38] ---
    Guard yourself.
[21:39] ---
    Chapa? What a fool.
[21:42] ---
    Are you gonna give me
    another pathetic punch?
[21:45] ---
    Strong... Hammer!
[22:06] ---
    Whoooa! Amazing!
[22:29] ---
    Sorry.
[22:31] ---
    My punches earlier were...
[22:34] ---
    ...indeed pathetic.
[22:45] ---
    Zoro-kun, what's your idea
    to get these handcuffs off?
[22:47] ---
    Yeah. Now that it's come to this,
    we'll play rock-paper-scissors
[22:50] ---
    to decide whose wrist
    we'll resolutely...
[22:52] ---
    Ahh! What's with you coming
    up with such a scary idea?!
[22:54] ---
    There's no way we could do that!
[22:55] ---
    Really?
[22:56] ---
    Then, I've got another idea.
[22:58] ---
    Ahh! Ahh! I don't wanna hear it!
[23:00] ---
    On the next episode of One Piece!
[23:01] ---
    "Zoro Busts Out a New Technique!
    The Sword's Name is Sogeking?"
[23:05] ---
    I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!!
[23:08] ---