E11 - Expose the Plot! Pirate Butler, Captain Kuro!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    Wealth, fame, power...
[00:03] ---
    Gold Roger,
    the King of the Pirates,
[00:05] ---
    attained everything
    this world has to offer.
[00:07] ---
    The words he uttered just before
    his death drove people to the seas.
[00:11] ---
    My treasure?
    If you want it, you can have it!
[00:15] ---
    Find it! I left everything
    this world has to offer there!
[00:21] ---
    And so men head for the
    Grand Line in pursuit of their dreams!
[00:26] ---
    The world has truly
    entered a Great Pirate Era!
[00:30] ---
    We're going to gather up
    all our dreams
[00:35] ---
    and set out in search
    of something to find
[00:41] ---
    ONE PIECE!
[00:48] ---
    Compasses only cause delays
[00:53] ---
    Delirious with fever,
    I take the helm
[00:59] ---
    If the dusty treasure map has
    been verified, it's not a legend!
[01:11] ---
    When it comes to personal storms,
[01:17] ---
    simply ride aboard
    someone else's biorhythm
[01:22] ---
    and pretend it isn't there!
[01:26] ---
    We're going to gather up
    all our dreams
[01:31] ---
    and set out in search
    of something to find
[01:37] ---
    A coin in my pocket,
    and do you wanna be my friend?
[01:43] ---
    We are, We are on the cruise!
[01:48] ---
    We are!
[02:02] ---
    You're nothing but the
    son of a filthy pirate!
[02:13] ---
    Filthy?!
[02:15] ---
    I feel for you.
[02:16] ---
    You must truly hate your
    great idiot of a father
[02:20] ---
    for abandoning his family and village
    because of his lust for treasure!
[02:26] ---
    Don't you dare insult
    my father any more!
[02:56] ---
    Only then will I inherit
    her enormous fortune!
[03:07] ---
    Hey, you guys! Don't attack that girl!
[03:39] ---
    "Expose the Plot!
    Pirate Butler Captain Kuro"
[04:02] ---
    Our captain's been gone a long time...
[04:05] ---
    Luffy, too.
[04:07] ---
    It was a big shock for him...
[04:10] ---
    He always watches the sea from
    the shore when he's feeling down!
[04:20] ---
    --Captain!
    --Captain!
[04:28] ---
    Huh? Wasn't Luffy with him?
[04:33] ---
    --Captain!
    --Captain!
[04:36] ---
    Where's Luffy?
    Wasn't he at the shore with...
[04:42] ---
    Is he still mad about
    his dad being insulted?
[04:48] ---
    Who knows?
[04:50] ---
    No, that look was different!
[04:52] ---
    Yeah, something must've happened!
[04:54] ---
    Why do you suppose he
    looked so desperate?!
[04:57] ---
    Hey, how do we get
    to this shore of yours?
[05:00] ---
    Doesn't this smell like an incident?!
[05:02] ---
    Yeah, something must've
    happened at the shore!
[05:04] ---
    I think this calls for the Usopp Pirates!
[05:07] ---
    Alright, already!
    How do we get there?!
[05:18] ---
    T-Terrible... news...
[05:23] ---
    Terrible news, everyone!
[05:26] ---
    Pirates are going to attack!
[05:34] ---
    Tomorrow morning, pirates are
    going to attack this village!
[05:38] ---
    Everyone, run away! Everyone...
[05:41] ---
    What are you all doing?! Everyone!
[05:54] ---
    Alright, Usopp! Enough is enough!
[05:56] ---
    You're gonna pay once and for all!
[06:00] ---
    N-No, it's not like that!
[06:03] ---
    It's the truth this time!
[06:04] ---
    Shut up! All you ever
    do is spout huge lies!
[06:07] ---
    If you were as honest as Klahadore-san,
[06:10] ---
    then we'd believe you!
[06:17] ---
    No matter what he does,
    it won't matter.
[06:20] ---
    Tomorrow morning, Jango.
    Attack the village at daybreak!
[06:25] ---
    Damn it!
[06:26] ---
    So he ignored me because
    nobody'd believe me anyway?!
[06:38] ---
    Are these to your liking?
[06:41] ---
    They're the ones you custom-ordered
    from the eyewear shop...
[06:45] ---
    ...in the next town over.
[06:47] ---
    Yes, they're perfect!
[06:50] ---
    I'm sorry for asking you
    to go all the way there.
[07:00] ---
    It's a present, isn't it?
[07:01] ---
    Yes. Tomorrow is actually
    exactly three years since the day
[07:05] ---
    Klahadore came to this mansion.
[07:07] ---
    He's always taken good care of me, so...
[07:10] ---
    Klahadore-san will be delighted!
[07:12] ---
    Yes!
[07:16] ---
    Please, hear me out, everyone!
[07:19] ---
    Pirates really are going to
    attack tomorrow morning!
[07:22] ---
    If we believed every
    story you ever told,
[07:24] ---
    we'd have fled the village
    hundreds of times by now!
[07:27] ---
    Please, believe me!
    We gotta get out of here!
[07:30] ---
    They really are going to kill everyone!
[07:33] ---
    I swear it's the truth this time!
[07:35] ---
    And we're gonna get you this time!
[07:41] ---
    Dammit!
[07:43] ---
    Get him! Don't let him escape!
[07:50] ---
    This is the place!
[07:51] ---
    Our captain always heals
    his emotional pain here!
[07:54] ---
    It is nice here!
[07:58] ---
    That straw hat guy isn't here...
[08:09] ---
    It's pretty fragile here...
[08:12] ---
    --Nami. Don't fall now.
    --Yeah.
[08:20] ---
    L-Look! There!
[08:23] ---
    --What the--?!
    --There he is!
[08:24] ---
    --It's the straw hat guy!
    --And his butt.
[08:34] ---
    Luffy! How did this happen?!
[08:36] ---
    --He fell!
    --He's a goner!
[08:38] ---
    So that's why our captain...
[08:45] ---
    Quiet!
[08:55] ---
    This guy...
[09:05] ---
    Morning!
[09:36] ---
    Usopp-san!
[09:45] ---
    Thank goodness!
[09:46] ---
    I thought you might never come back...
[09:53] ---
    You gotta run, Kaya!
    They're gonna kill you!
[09:56] ---
    Eh? What?
[10:00] ---
    You've been tricked!
    That butler is really a pirate!
[10:11] ---
    Hold on. What kind of joke is this?
[10:17] ---
    It's no joke!
    I heard it with my own ears!
[10:22] ---
    Klahadore's really a pirate who
    weaseled his way into your mansion
[10:26] ---
    so he could get your fortune!
[10:27] ---
    He's been pretending to be a
    butler for three years straight,
[10:30] ---
    so he could get your fortune!
[10:34] ---
    What are you talking about, Usopp-san?
[10:38] ---
    He said his crew's gonna storm
    in and kill you at dawn tomorrow!
[10:51] ---
    He's a really bad guy!
    You gotta escape, quick!
[10:57] ---
    I admit, he did say too much earlier.
[11:00] ---
    But lying like this...
[11:03] ---
    It's not like you, Usopp-san!
[11:07] ---
    No, it's not a lie...
[11:12] ---
    It's the truth...
[11:16] ---
    It's the truth!
[11:34] ---
    Eh?! They're going to kill Kaya-san?!
[11:37] ---
    Are they really going
    to attack the village?!
[11:41] ---
    Yeah, that's what they said.
    No question about it.
[11:48] ---
    So what were you
    sleeping down here for?
[11:52] ---
    That's the thing!
[11:53] ---
    I thought I was up on the cliff...
[11:56] ---
    --So how'd I get down here?
    --I knew it! Klahadore's a bad guy!
[11:59] ---
    It's no wonder he seemed so creepy!
[12:01] ---
    So that's why our captain ran to
    the village with that intense look!
[12:05] ---
    That's great, then!
[12:06] ---
    Now they'll know, and
    can run away beforehand!
[12:09] ---
    Talk about stupid bad guys!
[12:11] ---
    Yeah, that's right!
    We gotta run away, too!
[12:14] ---
    Yeah! We gotta organize
    all our prized possessions...
[12:15] ---
    --...and hurry!
    --...and hurry!
[12:24] ---
    --Oh, no!
    --What is it?
[12:26] ---
    We need to stock up on food
    before the meat shop guy runs away!
[12:31] ---
    That's not the issue at hand here.
[12:39] ---
    Tell me, Usopp-san.
[12:43] ---
    What kind of story do you have today?
[12:47] ---
    Right. Hmm, let's see...
[12:52] ---
    Alright!
[12:54] ---
    This story happened when I was five,
[12:57] ---
    when I fought a giant goldfish
    living in the southern sea!
[13:02] ---
    Goldfish? You fought a goldfish?
[13:05] ---
    Yeah! It was so big,
[13:09] ---
    not even a fish tank the size
    of this mansion could've held it!
[13:12] ---
    Oh, my!
[13:16] ---
    What first shocked me was...
[13:18] ---
    ...the immense size
    and length of its poop!
[13:22] ---
    It was so big that I landed on it,
[13:25] ---
    thinking it was solid ground!
[13:28] ---
    That sounds fake!
[13:29] ---
    Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
[13:32] ---
    But it's the truth!
[13:38] ---
    So, first off, starting a bonfire to
    dry off my clothes was a bad idea.
[13:44] ---
    --How come?
    --Well, you see...
[13:47] ---
    ...the goldfish's butt caught
    on fire and freaked it out!
[13:50] ---
    Oh, dear!
[13:52] ---
    Though I guess I can't say I blame it.
[13:54] ---
    It was so close to
    becoming a grilled goldfish!
[14:03] ---
    I... I loved them.
[14:09] ---
    I loved the lies you told...
[14:14] ---
    Yet, why are you saying this?
[14:19] ---
    It's not like that! I'm not
    trying to get back at Klahadore...
[14:24] ---
    Why do you say it?
[14:27] ---
    Kaya... I'm...
[14:37] ---
    Is something the matter, Miss?!
[14:46] ---
    You gotta escape, Kaya!
[14:49] ---
    Stop, Usopp-san!
[14:52] ---
    Let go of her!
[14:55] ---
    Just trust me!
[14:57] ---
    You gotta get out of this village,
[15:00] ---
    before that butler gets back!
[15:22] ---
    Stop!
[15:26] ---
    Come on!
[15:32] ---
    This'll all make sense come tomorrow!
[15:34] ---
    But you gotta escape for now!
[15:37] ---
    Please, listen to me!
[15:48] ---
    You're pathetic.
[16:04] ---
    Get away from her!
[16:10] ---
    No!
[16:24] ---
    Please, catch him!
[16:26] ---
    He roughed up the lady of the house!
[16:28] ---
    --How horrible!
    --How could he?!
[16:35] ---
    Why...
[16:37] ---
    ...won't anyone believe me?
[16:43] ---
    There he is! Get him!
[16:52] ---
    Usopp-san...
[16:55] ---
    Please pull yourself together, Miss!
[17:07] ---
    Thank you for coming, men.
[17:09] ---
    It's truly been three long years.
[17:12] ---
    Once this plan succeeds,
[17:15] ---
    I intend to give you
    all plenty of the take.
[17:20] ---
    At dawn tomorrow,
[17:22] ---
    destroy the village
    to your hearts' content!
[17:41] ---
    Who are you?!
[17:42] ---
    I'm Usopp!
    A brave warrior of the sea!
[17:47] ---
    I hear you've been unhappy lately!
[17:49] ---
    I'll cheer you up with a story!
[17:52] ---
    Mind your own business!
[17:54] ---
    Please leave! I'll call for someone!
[17:56] ---
    Now, now, don't sweat it!
    I'm always meddlesome!
[18:01] ---
    When I was three, my meddling
    even led me to save a sick whale!
[18:06] ---
    --Eh? A whale?
    --You bet!
[18:09] ---
    It was huge, and had
    a really sore throat,
[18:11] ---
    so I went inside its mouth,
    but it thought I was food!
[18:17] ---
    Tomorrow morning, Jango.
    Attack the village at daybreak!
[18:30] ---
    --Captain!
    --Captain!
[18:34] ---
    Oh, hey, guys!
[18:39] ---
    Yo!
[18:41] ---
    You're alive?!
[18:43] ---
    Alive? Yeah, I just woke up!
[18:47] ---
    This guy was asleep the whole time!
[18:49] ---
    Anyways, Captain!
    We heard everything!
[18:52] ---
    Let's hurry and tell
    everyone about the pirates!
[18:57] ---
    Tell everyone?
[19:02] ---
    You're pathetic.
[19:06] ---
    Shut up! All you ever
    do is spout huge lies!
[19:12] ---
    If you were as honest as Klahadore-san,
[19:15] ---
    then we'd believe you!
[19:33] ---
    I'm lying like usual, obviously!
[19:35] ---
    That damn butler pissed me off,
[19:37] ---
    so I decided to claim he's a pirate!
[19:42] ---
    Oh!
[19:43] ---
    So you put the straw
    hat guy up to it, too!
[19:51] ---
    Hey? What's wrong?
[19:53] ---
    I think less of you now.
[19:56] ---
    --Me too.
    --Me too!
[19:58] ---
    Even if that butler is a jerk,
[20:00] ---
    I never thought you'd
    lie to hurt someone!
[20:04] ---
    We really respected you, too!
[20:08] ---
    I was all wrong about him!
[20:10] ---
    --Same here!
    --Let's go home!
[20:12] ---
    Yeah! It's suppertime!
[20:14] ---
    Wonder what we're having...
[20:23] ---
    Oww!
[20:37] ---
    There, all done!
[20:39] ---
    Why did you tell them that?
[20:42] ---
    Because I'm a liar.
[20:47] ---
    They were never going to
    believe me from the start.
[20:50] ---
    I was too optimistic.
[20:53] ---
    Even so, the truth is the truth.
[20:59] ---
    Pirates really are going
    to come, aren't they?
[21:02] ---
    Yeah. They're definitely gonna show up.
[21:04] ---
    But everyone thinks it's a lie.
[21:07] ---
    They think tomorrow'll be just
    another normal, peaceful day...
[21:16] ---
    That's why I'm going to stop the
    pirates at the beach tomorrow,
[21:20] ---
    and make sure this stays a lie!
[21:22] ---
    That's the only logical thing
    for a liar like me to do!
[21:27] ---
    Even if I get shot in the arm,
[21:30] ---
    even if I'm driven off with brooms,
[21:33] ---
    this is my village!
[21:35] ---
    I love this village!
[21:39] ---
    I want to protect everyone!
[21:42] ---
    You're one hell of a nice guy,
[21:44] ---
    pushing your henchmen away
    and going into battle alone!
[21:47] ---
    Just so you know, I have dibs
    on all the pirates' treasure!
[21:50] ---
    Alright! We'll help you out!
[21:53] ---
    You guys... are going
    to fight with me?! Why?
[21:57] ---
    There's a whole bunch
    of bad guys, right?
[22:00] ---
    "Scared" is written all over your face.
[22:03] ---
    M-Me, scared?!
[22:05] ---
    I'm perfectly okay with lots
    of bad guys or whatever!
[22:08] ---
    Because I'm Captain Usopp,
    brave warrior of the sea!
[22:15] ---
    Dammit! Dammit! This isn't a show!
[22:18] ---
    These are Klahadore's
    pirates we're dealing with!
[22:20] ---
    Of course I'm scared!
    What's wrong with that?!
[22:23] ---
    I don't want your sympathy!
    You guys can leave! Leave!
[22:28] ---
    We ain't laughing! We're helping
    'cause we think you're honorable!
[22:34] ---
    As if we'd risk our lives
    because of sympathy!
[22:42] ---
    Oh... You guys...
[22:55] ---
    When I was little, I had
    a vision of a treasure map
[23:09] ---
    and I always searched
    for that miraculous place
[23:16] ---
    before someone else could
    beat me to it
[23:25] ---
    If the world is going to change
[23:37] ---
    before I can even attain my dream
[23:44] ---
    then take me to the time
    when I knew nothing
[23:51] ---
    so that my memories won't fade
[24:10] ---
    Huh? Why'd Usopp
    cover this slope in oil?
[24:13] ---
    --It's his Oil Strategy.
    --What a weird strategy.
[24:15] ---
    But where are the pirates?
[24:17] ---
    What?! They're at the north shore?!
[24:19] ---
    --I'll go on ahead!
    --They're gonna take my treasure!
[24:22] ---
    North, north! Which way is north?!
[24:23] ---
    Damn you, Nami!
[24:25] ---
    On the next episode of One Piece!
[24:27] ---
    "Clash with the Black Cat Pirates!
    Great Battle on the Slope!"
[24:31] ---
    I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!!