E300 - The Mizukage, The Giant Clam, and The Mirage

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:17] ---
    So they'll use these tags to seal us.
[00:20] ---
    All right!
    Well done, young Kazekage!
[00:24] ---
    What?
[00:27] ---
    What's going on?!
[00:29] ---
    I'm totally ready to be sealed!
[00:34] ---
    Our bodies are programmed to
    automatically counter an enemy's jutsu!
[00:46] ---
    Here they come!
[00:55] ---
    Surround those two!
[00:58] ---
    Particle Style…
[00:59] ---
    Atomic Dismantling Jutsu!
[01:27] ---
    You've aged, Ohnoki.
[01:30] ---
    Nonsense…
[01:44] ---
    You'd better get the Kazekage here
    to use his sensory skills
[01:46] ---
    or you'll die, Ohnoki!
[03:20] ---
    The Mizukage, the Giant Clam
     and the Mirage
    
    
[03:32] ---
    Hey!
[03:33] ---
    Don't underestimate my jutsu!
    You really should stand back!
[03:37] ---
    For real!
[03:38] ---
    For real?
[03:40] ---
    Here are my weaknesses!
[03:43] ---
    For real!
[03:44] ---
    For real?
[03:45] ---
    For real.
[03:47] ---
    Now listen! I'm a Shadow Style user,
    in other words, I use genjutsu.
[03:52] ---
    And my summoning is…
[03:56] ---
    a Giant Clam!
[04:01] ---
    I'm a Lightning User!
[04:03] ---
    Line up your Earth Style shinobi
    and use them as a shield…
[04:07] ---
    and attack with
    your Wind Style shinobi!
[04:09] ---
    Thanks for your thoughtfulness!
    In fact, I'd like to know more!
[04:13] ---
    I have no control over my body!
[04:16] ---
    I can't waste any more time talking!
[04:18] ---
    Come!
[04:21] ---
    Wind and Earth Style shinobi,
    follow me!
[04:23] ---
    Sealing Unit, keep up with us!
[04:26] ---
    That's right. Go away, Raikage.
[04:30] ---
    If you and I stick together,
    these guys won't be able to seal us.
[04:36] ---
    So, do you have a strategy…
[04:39] ---
    Fifth Kazekage?
[04:44] ---
    I'm leaving you guys in charge here.
[04:46] ---
    Huh?! Commander!
[04:48] ---
    We have to deal with him
    without you?!
[04:50] ---
    Hey, hey! What kind of tactic is that?!
[04:54] ---
    Didn't you hear me?!
    I am a Shadow User!
[04:58] ---
    This Giant Clam can cast
    a genjutsu over a wide area!
[05:01] ---
    It'll make you see illusions!
[05:03] ---
    A physical attack won't work!
[05:06] ---
    I'm talking about a mirage!
[05:08] ---
    I can tell.
    You have no desire to kill.
[05:11] ---
    Of course not!
    That's to be expected!
[05:13] ---
    I can't stand being manipulated
    by some other jutsu user.
[05:18] ---
    That's why I want you to
    seal me quickly, Kazekage! Hey!
[05:23] ---
    Deal with him.
[05:24] ---
    Hey!
[05:25] ---
    You can count on us!
[05:26] ---
    Hey, wispy whiskers!
[05:27] ---
    Wispy whiskers?
[05:30] ---
    Don't call me that!
[05:32] ---
    I don't care about
    the Reanimation anymore. I'll kill you!
[05:37] ---
    He means it!
[05:44] ---
    Man, this is awkward.
[05:47] ---
    Let's go, guys!
[05:49] ---
    – Yeah!
    – Right!
[05:50] ---
    Let's do it!
[05:52] ---
    – Yeah!
    – Right!
[05:54] ---
    I'm counting on you…
    Do something.
[06:06] ---
    Good! Now you look like you
    mean business!
[06:10] ---
    Listen up, I'll tell you one more time!
[06:13] ---
    Attacking this me is useless!
[06:23] ---
    Your sensory skills are useless
    against me.
[06:25] ---
    You shouldn't underestimate me.
[06:28] ---
    Stone Clone Jutsu!
[06:32] ---
    So you'll come at me in numbers…
    That might work.
[06:50] ---
    Did we get him?
[07:01] ---
    No way!
[07:03] ---
    I told you attacking
    this me is useless!
[07:08] ---
    This me is just a mirage!
[07:10] ---
    Then what do we have to do?!
[07:13] ---
    So, defeat my Giant Clam first!
[07:18] ---
    It's the one creating the mirage.
[07:22] ---
    But its shell is hard.
[07:23] ---
    Use large-scale weapons
    or Paper Bombs!
[07:26] ---
    But…
[07:27] ---
    What?
[07:29] ---
    We just used them
    with the last attack…
[07:44] ---
    Just hurry up and
    retrieve the weapons!
[07:48] ---
    I'm sorry!
[07:49] ---
    Everyone, quickly!
[07:52] ---
    Hurry!
[07:54] ---
    Hey, that's mine.
[07:57] ---
    Where's my weapon?
[08:00] ---
    Hey! There are a lot of 'em
    over that way too!
[08:05] ---
    What are you doing here?
    Digging for clams?
[08:07] ---
    Pardon us.
[08:10] ---
    This is awkward…
[08:13] ---
    All right! Let's do it, everyone!
[08:15] ---
    – Right!
    – Right!
[08:16] ---
    Target the Giant Clam!
[08:18] ---
    Take that!
[08:28] ---
    Did we get it?
[08:34] ---
    Huh?
[08:36] ---
    Damn it! I can't stand this anymore!
[08:39] ---
    – Why?!
    – Why?!
[08:41] ---
    Hey! What's going on?
[08:42] ---
    Yeah. So I keep telling you
    over and over again…
[08:47] ---
    That Giant Clam is also a mirage, idiots!
[08:50] ---
    Aim for the real one!
[08:52] ---
    Yeah, so tell us where the real one is!
[08:55] ---
    Like I said! Look around behind me!
[08:59] ---
    It's camouflaged within
    a mirage and hiding!
[09:02] ---
    Aww, damn it!
[09:06] ---
    I told you attacking
    this me is useless!
[09:10] ---
    Oh no, I was aiming for
    the Giant Clam in the back.
[09:14] ---
    Like I said, that's a mirage, idiot!
[09:17] ---
    Aw man, I don't understand!
[09:19] ---
    I don't get it!
[09:21] ---
    – We don't get it!
    – We don't get it!
[09:24] ---
    Look, you guys…
[09:26] ---
    Wispy whiskers!
[09:27] ---
    I'll kill you!
[09:29] ---
    He means it!
[09:31] ---
    – Who said that?! Apologize!
    – Come out and apologize! Hurry!
[09:34] ---
    I'm sorry.
[09:37] ---
    This is awkward…
[09:39] ---
    What the heck!
    Once more, an all-out attack!
[09:42] ---
    Let's go!
[09:44] ---
    Are you sure?
[09:46] ---
    Are you really sure
    you want to do that?!
[09:53] ---
    Where did that come from?!
[09:59] ---
    Behind you, Tsuchikage!
[10:04] ---
    Not now!
[10:10] ---
    Particle Style!
[10:11] ---
    Atomic Dismantling Jutsu.
[10:15] ---
    Is that…?!
[10:22] ---
    Planet Rasengan!
[10:30] ---
    Is that…Naruto?!
[10:35] ---
    Damn it!
[10:36] ---
    Lord Mu is a Sensory Shinobi.
[10:38] ---
    Gaara!
[10:40] ---
    Sand!
[10:45] ---
    Using Sand as a springboard
    for his attack?
[10:47] ---
    I see.
[10:49] ---
    Dodge this.
    My jutsu is faster than yours!
[10:56] ---
    All right!
[10:59] ---
    This is…
[11:01] ---
     a violently rotating…
[11:03] ---
    Rasengan!
[11:14] ---
    Earth Style… Boulder Jutsu!
[11:25] ---
    Now you're so heavy,
[11:27] ---
    you won't even be able to
    raise your arms.
[11:32] ---
    Owww…
[11:34] ---
    You used to hate the other villages,
    now you work so well with them.
[11:40] ---
    It's worth living a long life.
[11:43] ---
    You get to enjoy change.
[11:52] ---
    Don't let down your guard. I'm still…
[12:02] ---
    All right! Way to go, Gaara!
[12:05] ---
    Oh yeah…
    Nice work too, Shorty Gramps!
[12:10] ---
    I am the Tsuchikage, you know.
[12:13] ---
    By the way—
[12:14] ---
    What are you doing
    on the battlefield?!
[12:17] ---
    Why did you come?!
[12:18] ---
    Err…
[12:21] ---
    Well…
[12:22] ---
    Let me explain…
[12:24] ---
    You better have a good enough
    explanation to persuade me!
[12:29] ---
    That would be impossible.
[12:32] ---
    So I will do the talking.
[12:34] ---
    This is Shikaku Nara at HQ.
[12:36] ---
    Both you and the Tsuchikage
    were in the middle of fighting,
[12:40] ---
    so I thought I'd save
    the complicated talk for later.
[12:43] ---
    Let's hear it then.
    But the fighting is not over.
[12:47] ---
    We must head out immediately.
[12:49] ---
    You can brief us on the way.
[13:04] ---
    You know,
    I'm not trying to win here.
[13:11] ---
    You're too strong for us.
[13:14] ---
    Yeah well…
    Still, you must seal me.
[13:19] ---
    Otherwise, I'll remain a puppet…
[13:22] ---
    Okay, everyone, get up! Get up!
[13:27] ---
    So that's how it is, eh?
[13:28] ---
    I can't believe even
    the Raikage relented.
[13:31] ---
    All right, I understand.
[13:33] ---
    I'm going to cease transmitting now.
[13:38] ---
    Naruto.
[13:40] ---
    I have nothing against going
    from one battlefield to another
[13:42] ---
    to identify the enemy
    using transformation.
[13:45] ---
    But as a former Jinchuriki,
    I know…
[13:48] ---
    The Nine Tails' chakra…
[13:50] ---
    Are you sure you can handle
    using it so frequently?
[13:58] ---
    I don't plan on dying
    until I become the Hokage.
[14:03] ---
    Don't treat me like a kid just
    because you're the Kazekage now.
[14:10] ---
    I'll take the right battlefront!
[14:12] ---
    Gaara and Gramps Tsuchikage,
    take the left!
[14:16] ---
    Naruto, the Third Raikage is there!
[14:19] ---
    Got it!
[14:21] ---
    And our opponent is
    the Second Mizukage, correct?
[14:24] ---
    The Genjutsu User…
[14:27] ---
    Yes… Ordinary methods
    won't work against him.
[14:40] ---
    – Oh, man…
    – Still?
[14:44] ---
    I keep telling you it's a mirage.
[14:47] ---
    Go retrieve them!
[14:49] ---
    I've had it.
[14:52] ---
    Hey, you there!
[14:54] ---
    Huh? You mean me?
[14:56] ---
    You're from the Hidden Mist,
    aren't you?
[14:59] ---
    Aren't you familiar with my jutsu?
[15:01] ---
    I know little about you,
    Lord Second.
[15:03] ---
    I mean, I only know about
    the current Lord Fifth.
[15:08] ---
    The secretiveness of
    the Hidden Mist is to blame for this.
[15:12] ---
    If I knew things would be like this,
[15:14] ---
    I would've left behind
    a bigger legend!
[15:22] ---
    Not good…
[15:24] ---
    Hey, you there!
[15:25] ---
    Playtime is over!
    Come at me seriously now!
[15:28] ---
    We have been serious!
[15:31] ---
    I have no control over my body.
    It's casting jutsu on its own.
[15:36] ---
    Damn it! I can't stand this!
[15:40] ---
    It's my Water Balloon Jutsu.
[15:42] ---
    Defend yourselves!
[16:01] ---
    Commander Gaara!
[16:03] ---
    Huh? What took you so long?!
[16:07] ---
    I hope this time you'll seal me!
[16:11] ---
    I intend to.
[16:12] ---
    I'm looking forward to it.
[16:21] ---
    Commander!
[16:35] ---
    This is not the time to be
    looking somewhere else!
[16:53] ---
    Hey…
[16:57] ---
    Is that all you got?
[17:04] ---
    I keep telling you my weaknesses,
    yet every single one of you…
[17:09] ---
    You tell us, but you're still too strong!
[17:18] ---
    This is closer to oil than water.
[17:22] ---
    Even if I use Sand as a barrier,
[17:24] ---
    it'll just seep in and
    make it collapse.
[17:28] ---
    You went to tackle Mu first,
    didn't you?
[17:32] ---
    You always want to go for
    the stronger one first.
[17:36] ---
    That's what you call battle!
[17:37] ---
    And that's what we did.
[17:42] ---
    Isn't it obvious I'm the stronger one?!
[17:46] ---
    That guy looks like
    a half-dead mummy. Am I right?
[17:53] ---
    True…
[17:56] ---
    I realize now
    that appearances can deceive.
[18:00] ---
    You certainly are strong.
[18:03] ---
    Finally, you understand.
[18:06] ---
    Huh?! What do you mean
    "appearances can be deceiving"?!
[18:11] ---
    But you've got wispy whis—
[18:12] ---
    Cut it out!
[18:16] ---
    I told you…
    that this me is a mirage,
[18:20] ---
    created by the Giant Clam's
    wide-range genjutsu.
[18:24] ---
    So physical attacks are useless!
[18:27] ---
    Find the Giant Clam quickly
    and destroy it!
[18:30] ---
    Otherwise, this will never end…
[18:33] ---
    That's right. Your Sand…
[18:35] ---
    I like to let my actions
    do the talking.
[18:49] ---
    Over there!
[18:53] ---
    So you were already searching
    for it with your Sand.
[18:56] ---
    I wondered why you were just focused
    on the defensive.
[19:00] ---
    Well, finally a worthy foe!
[19:05] ---
    Now hurry up and defeat me!
[19:09] ---
    I used too much chakra in
    my fight against Lord Mu.
[19:14] ---
    I can't use the Particle Style now.
[19:17] ---
    Well, I have no choice.
[19:20] ---
    I have to smash it
    into pieces myself!
[19:23] ---
    Earth Style! Stone Fist Jutsu!
[19:27] ---
    One problem…
[19:36] ---
    You've got to put your back
    into it a bit more.
[19:39] ---
    A light punch won't work, Lil' Ohnoki.
[19:42] ---
    You're not using
    the Particle Style…
[19:43] ---
    Have you run out of juice?
[19:47] ---
    I'm not that Lil' Ohnoki
    you used to make fun of long ago!
[19:53] ---
    Earth Style…
[19:54] ---
    Super Weighted Boulder Jutsu!
[19:58] ---
    Not bad, Ohnoki!
[20:05] ---
    Uh-oh… I've done it now!
[20:10] ---
    The genjutsu is undone.
[20:15] ---
    Oh, my back!
[20:20] ---
    I always knew
    you'd be Tsuchikage.
[20:29] ---
    But you're nothing more than
    a geezer with a sore back right now!
[20:34] ---
    I'll admit that was a punch
    with some power to it,
[20:36] ---
    but you overdid it and
    strained your back!
[20:39] ---
    Anyway! Hurry up and run!
[20:42] ---
    I'm about to use
    the Hozuki Clan's Water Gun Jutsu!
[20:47] ---
    I can't stop myself!
[22:39] ---
    No matter how many times we attack,
    there's no effect!
    
    
[22:41] ---
    We haven't inflicted
    any damage!
    
    
[22:43] ---
    We need an even more powerful
    Wind Style user.
    
    
[22:46] ---
    I'm a pretty good
    Wind Style user myself, you know.
    
    
[22:49] ---
    Honestly, among the Allied Forces,
    there isn't a stronger Wind Style user.
    
    
[22:52] ---
    There is! It's me!
    
    
[22:55] ---
    Next time on Naruto Shippuden:
    "Paradox"
    
    
[22:59] ---
    PARADOX
    
    Is it a new Rasengan?
    Maybe with this jutsu…
[23:03] ---
    PARADOX
    
    
    
[23:05] ---
    Tune in again!