E345 - I'm In Hell

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] ---
    I'm in Hell
[01:50] ---
    Hey there.
[01:52] ---
    How are you doing?
[01:55] ---
    Bad… What do you think?
[01:59] ---
    How long have I been here?
[02:03] ---
    It feels like it's been a while.
[02:05] ---
    Don't worry,
    you don't need to pay rent.
[02:09] ---
    Those of us created from
    the Gedo Statue don't have to eat either.
[02:14] ---
    No food bills,
    no need for a bathroom.
[02:17] ---
    We don't even poo!
[02:19] ---
    Don't lump me in with you guys!
[02:23] ---
    I just have half of that weird stuff
    stuck onto me.
[02:28] ---
    And thanks to that, you can survive
    without eating or drinking.
[02:32] ---
    In fact, you should be grateful
    and thank us.
[02:36] ---
    Good grief. We're the ones who don't want
    to be lumped in with you!
[02:40] ---
    What you have is
    emotionless synth-tissue.
[02:42] ---
    We are full artificial humans.
    We have feelings and everything!
[02:46] ---
    You may have a better sense of humor,
    but what we have is much better!
[02:50] ---
    Both our vocabulary skills and mental acuity
    are far higher than yours!
[02:55] ---
    But we don't poo…
[02:57] ---
    Shut up!
[02:59] ---
    All right, explain how you're at
    a higher level than I am!
[03:07] ---
    We are…
[03:07] ---
    The ones…
[03:08] ---
    – in charge of watching you!
    – in charge of watching you!
[03:09] ---
    Don't talk in synch!
    That pisses me off!
[03:12] ---
    We're only helping you
    with your rehab
[03:14] ---
    because Madara ordered us
    to get you up and running
[03:18] ---
    and usable by the time he wakes up.
[03:23] ---
    So he makes these noisy puppets
    keep an eye on me…
[03:26] ---
    while he gets to sleep
    the whole time?
[03:32] ---
    I swear I'm gonna get outta here
    and return to Rin and Kakashi!
[03:36] ---
    Where's the exit?
[03:38] ---
    Can't be done…there's no exit.
[03:41] ---
    Madara sealed it off
    with a huge boulder…
[03:45] ---
    after we lugged you here
    on his orders.
[03:48] ---
    What?! He sealed us in?!
[03:50] ---
    By the way, you've been saying
    "Rin-Rin-Rin" in your sleep a lot.
[03:55] ---
    Do you want to go outside to
    collect a bell or something?
[03:58] ---
    Once in a while,
    you said "stupid-stupid-stupid.”
[04:02] ---
    And "stupid Kakashi."
[04:03] ---
    Yeah, yeah, that's right!
    Every so often.
[04:07] ---
    What's a "stupid Kakashi"?
[04:09] ---
    Beats me. Why don't you ask him?
[04:13] ---
    Was I really saying that?
[04:20] ---
    Um, may we ask you a question!
[04:24] ---
    What?
[04:25] ---
    When nature calls…
[04:26] ---
    In short, what does the urge
    to poo feel like?
[04:30] ---
    For example…
[04:31] ---
    I thought you wanted to know
    about stupid Kakashi!
[04:33] ---
    Why are you guys so obsessed
    with poop?
[04:37] ---
    You don't have to get so angry.
[04:40] ---
    All right, we'll ask you about
    Rin and stupid Kakashi later.
[04:44] ---
    Especially you, with the swirly face…
[04:46] ---
    You don't poop,
    but you look like poop.
[04:49] ---
    I hate you!
[04:51] ---
    Anyway, where'd the other white guys go?
[04:54] ---
    They went outside to collect intel.
[04:57] ---
    What?! You guys can get out?
[05:01] ---
    We can all move through
    the earth's surface.
[05:06] ---
    What the hell?!
[05:09] ---
    I'm locked up in here,
[05:12] ---
    and I have to hear about all
    this weird stuff.
[05:14] ---
    So sorry to have bothered you
    about poo!
[05:16] ---
    That's not what I meant!
[05:19] ---
    I mean, what Madara talked about!
[05:21] ---
    Something about severing fate
    and all…
[05:24] ---
    Oh, that…
[05:25] ---
    Madara's not nice enough to talk
    to a brat at his level.
[05:31] ---
    Simply put, he's talking
    about discarding
[05:33] ---
    all the bad things in the real world and
[05:36] ---
    escaping inside a dream
    that's full of good things!
[05:40] ---
    Inside a dream?
[05:42] ---
    Since it's a dream,
    everything is how you want it!
[05:45] ---
    Even those who are dead
    can be alive again!
[05:49] ---
    Yeah…
[05:50] ---
    Just think of it as all of us going
    to this huge dream world
[05:54] ---
    that was created using genjutsu!
[05:57] ---
    Well, it's more like forcibly
    taking everyone there…
[06:01] ---
    and for life too.
[06:03] ---
    With genjutsu?
[06:07] ---
    That's so beyond stupid,
    I can't even understand it.
[06:11] ---
    If you have as much power as Madara,
    anything is possible.
[06:15] ---
    It's just that he's weak right now
    and can't do it yet.
[06:18] ---
    Much still needs to be prepared.
[06:22] ---
    Oh really? Well, I'm not interested.
[06:26] ---
    More importantly…
[06:28] ---
    I swear I'm gonna make it outside!
[06:34] ---
    And get back to Rin and Kakashi!
[06:37] ---
    What?
[06:39] ---
    I've got to get this body working again…
[08:07] ---
    Yaaaay!
[09:01] ---
    What?!
[09:40] ---
    Don't act tough and hide your wounds!
[09:44] ---
    I'm always watching, you know.
[09:56] ---
    It's starting to feel natural.
[09:59] ---
    Just a bit longer.
[10:01] ---
    I'll see you soon, Rin… Kakashi!
[10:09] ---
    I was just outside!
[10:12] ---
    Your friends, Rin and
    stupid Kakashi, are in trouble!
[10:15] ---
    What happened?!
[10:16] ---
    They're alone and completely
    surrounded by Hidden Mist Shinobi!
[10:33] ---
    You can't break through boulders
    with that body yet.
[10:37] ---
    I have to save Rin and Kakashi…
[10:46] ---
    Why don't you wear my body?
[10:54] ---
    But you guys serve Madara.
    Are you sure about this?
[10:59] ---
    He's…a good boy.
[11:03] ---
    Don't you want to help
    Rin and Kakashi?
[11:10] ---
    Thanks, you guys!
[11:34] ---
    You kept the root tethered and
    borrowed the statue's power eh? Nice.
[11:44] ---
    I'm pretty good, huh?
[11:51] ---
    All right!
[11:53] ---
    So you're going?
[12:03] ---
    I'm grateful that you saved me.
[12:06] ---
    But I'm leaving. I have to go.
[12:11] ---
    You're being too hasty…
[12:13] ---
    It may be premature to thank me.
[12:17] ---
    I'll probably never come back here.
[12:20] ---
    I've given my thanks.
[12:21] ---
    I'm going!
[12:24] ---
    You…will return.
[12:29] ---
    And that's when I'll get
    your true gratitude.
[12:34] ---
    White one!
    What's Rin and Kakashi's location?!
[12:37] ---
    Take me there right away!
[12:40] ---
    What you've got on your body
    is like a clone of me.
[12:44] ---
    And we can talk telepathically to
    each other over limited distances.
[12:49] ---
    Others of us are scattered
    here and there underground.
[12:52] ---
    We're able to exchange intel.
[12:55] ---
    I'll use them to guide you.
[12:58] ---
    Swirly!
[12:59] ---
    First, we need to get outside.
[13:01] ---
    I'm counting on you.
[13:19] ---
    How are Rin and Kakashi
    doing right now?
[13:22] ---
    According to the others,
    it looks pretty bad.
[13:26] ---
    They're talking about some
    Hidden Mist test subjects,
[13:29] ---
    but I don't really understand.
[13:32] ---
    Test subjects?
[13:35] ---
    Anyway, it seems Rin and Kakashi
    are totally surrounded.
[13:39] ---
    And they're saying they all appear
    to be jonin or Black Ops.
[13:44] ---
    What's Minato Sensei doing?
[13:46] ---
    Who is that?
[13:47] ---
    I'm asking you what the Yellow Flash
    of the Leaf is doing!
[13:52] ---
    Seems he's on a different mission.
[13:56] ---
    At a time like this?!
[13:59] ---
    Kakashi… Look after Rin for me.
[14:04] ---
    I will.
[14:06] ---
    Kakashi! You made me a promise!
[14:11] ---
    Please…
[14:14] ---
    Please protect Rin somehow!
[14:17] ---
    I'll be right there!
[14:20] ---
    Obito, this will probably turn
    into a battle.
[14:23] ---
    So I want to tell you
    some things beforehand.
[14:26] ---
    What is it?!
[14:27] ---
    Your fighting ability is lower
    than mine.
[14:30] ---
    Plus right now, it's like my big body
    is wrapped around
[14:33] ---
    and protecting
    your wounded little body.
[14:38] ---
    So what?!
[14:40] ---
    I think it would be better
    if I do all the fighting.
[14:44] ---
    Remember what Madara said?
[14:47] ---
    That only with a pair together
[14:49] ---
    can the Sharingan's true power
    be unleashed!
[14:51] ---
    Kakashi, the other half of my pair,
    will be on the battlefield.
[14:55] ---
    Our combo attacks are superior!
[14:59] ---
    Kakashi and I will protect Rin!
[15:04] ---
    As I recall, you do have
    Hashirama's tissue attached to you.
[15:08] ---
    A whole different strength may emerge
[15:11] ---
    when Senju and Uchiha powers
    are combined together, but…
[15:20] ---
    What was that?
[15:32] ---
    I thought it was rain, but it's…
[15:35] ---
    I just got word from one of my guys.
[15:37] ---
    It seems…
[15:40] ---
    That's the location.
[15:43] ---
    Let's go!
[15:57] ---
    What's happening?!
[15:59] ---
    Stop showing these weird images!
[16:02] ---
    A little bit…
[16:04] ---
    Just a little bit farther!
[16:21] ---
    Kakashi…
[17:03] ---
    Damn it! He did it!
[17:06] ---
    After all the trouble
    we went through to get her!
[17:14] ---
    Rin…
[17:31] ---
    Where…
[17:34] ---
    in the world…
[17:36] ---
    is this place?!
[17:40] ---
    Who is that guy?
[17:41] ---
    Reinforcements maybe?
[17:43] ---
    What a fool, jumping in alone!
[17:45] ---
    I won't accept it!
[17:52] ---
    I will not…
[17:54] ---
    What just happened?!
[17:56] ---
    Did he dodge them?
[17:58] ---
    …accept any of this!
[18:08] ---
    Do not mock the Blood Mist Village!
[18:24] ---
    Die!
[18:28] ---
    I can't hit him!
[18:38] ---
    Who is that guy?!
[18:40] ---
    He wields a strange jutsu!
[18:42] ---
    At least grab the girl!
[18:44] ---
    Don't hand her corpse over
    to the enemy!
[18:56] ---
    There's no mistake!
    This guy passes right through you!
[19:09] ---
    All of a sudden,
[19:10] ---
    he's able to use
    the Wood Style Cutting Sprigs Jutsu…
[19:12] ---
    Obito, now I understand
    why Madara chose you!
[19:53] ---
    What is he?
[20:44] ---
    I get it…
[20:47] ---
    I'm…
[20:54] ---
    I'm…
[20:59] ---
    in Hell.
[22:37] ---
    I shall sever the nexuses
    of this world.
    
    
[22:39] ---
    That's why I came back.
    
    
[22:42] ---
    So you still felt loyalty to
    your one-time teammate?
    
    
[22:45] ---
    No, it doesn't matter to me anymore
    
    
[22:48] ---
    whether he's alive or
    dead in this world.
    
    
[22:51] ---
    Kakashi will exist
    in the world we'll create. Rin too.
    
    
[22:56] ---
    Next time on Naruto Shippuden:
    "World of Dreams"
    
    
[23:00] ---
    Teach me how to create
    this world of dreams.
    
    
    
[23:03] ---
    WORLD OF DREAMS
    
    
    
[23:05] ---
    Tune in again!