E177 - It's Bad Luck to See a Spider at Night

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:15] Jiraia
    I never would have imagined this.
[00:19] Jiraia
    To be able to see the moon
    from Yoshiwara...
[00:31] Woman
    Oh, don't be so silly.
[00:34] Woman
    You came to Yoshiwara only after
    its liberation. Isn't that right, sir?
[00:42] Jiraia
    No...
[00:44] Jiraia
    It existed long ago...
[01:03] Jiraia
    The ceiling may have been shut,
[01:07] Jiraia
    but the moon existed back then.
[01:11] Jiraia
    A small, brave, and beautiful moon.
[01:38] Tsukuyo
    Again?
[01:40] Hyakka A
    The seventh one this month.
[01:43] Tsukuyo
    We can no longer ignore this.
[01:48] Tsukuyo
    At this rate, Yoshiwara...
[01:50] Tsukuyo
    will never be able to recover.
[01:55] Hyakka B
    Also...
[01:58] Woman
    Thank you for your patronage, sir.
[02:01] Jiraia
    Of course.
[02:10] Tsukuyo
    I see.
[02:15] Man
    Thank you very much!
[02:28] Jiraia
    Excuse me.
[02:30] Tsukuyo
    No, excuse me.
[02:35] Jiraia
    You've come a long way,
[02:44] Jiraia
    Tsukuyo.
[04:51] Jiraia
    Give up on being a woman,
[04:54] Jiraia
    Tsukuyo.
[04:57] Jiraia
    If you wish to become one who protects
    instead of one who is protected,
[05:01] Jiraia
    give up on being a woman.
[05:06] Jiraia
    You may not be the sun which
    shines above the people.
[05:10] Jiraia
    But I, alone, know of your beauty which
    secretly illuminates the land.
[05:16] Jiraia
    I, alone, shall watch over you.
[05:26] Jiraia
    I, alone...
[05:28] Jiraia
    will protect you.
[05:58] Tsukuyo
    Ma-
[06:12] Seita
    Whatcha doing, Tsukuyo?
[06:14] Seita
    Gin-san and everybody are here!
[06:16] Seita
    Wake up already!
[06:17] Seita
    I'm gonna leave without ya!
[06:21] Tsukuyo
    I'm coming.
[06:22] Tsukuyo
    Go on ahead.
[06:23] Seita
    Don't forget to spruce yourself up.
[06:51] Tsukuyo
    Spruce up, is it?
SIGN    ["It's Bad Luck to See a Spider at Night"]
[07:00] Tsukuyo
    Hey, it's been a while.
[07:03] Gintoki
    Sheesh, still looking as dull as ever.
[07:07] Tsukuyo
    And you still look as much like
    a burnt field as ever.
[07:12] Gintoki
    Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!
[07:14] Gintoki
    You'd better not be talking about my hair!
[07:17] Shinpachi
    Come on, it's been a while
    since we last met.
[07:19] Shinpachi
    Could you two please stop fighting?
[07:20] Seita
    Now that everyone's here,
    we can have a blast!
[07:23] Hinowa
    Sorry, Seita.
[07:25] Seita
    Huh?
[07:26] Hinowa
    Could you wait outside for a moment?
[07:28] Seita
    What?!
[07:29] Seita
    Hold on!
[07:30] Seita
    I haven't even been in
    a close-up shot yet!
[07:32] Seita
    That's all the screen time I get?!
[07:33] Kagura
    You should be glad that everyone
    was able to see you so happy.
[07:36] Seita
    No way!
[07:40] Seita
    You've crossed the line here, Mom.
[07:42] Seita
    This is what I get, after
    waiting half a year?
[07:43] Hinowa
    You see, what I wanted to talk
    to you guys about...
[07:45] Seita
    Screw them.
[07:45] Seita
    Stupid show.
[07:47] Seita
    I even sat back from the TV in a well-lit
    room every week to watch this show.
[07:49] Gintoki
    Hey, now. Give me a break.
[07:52] Gintoki
    I didn't come here to work today.
[07:55] Hinowa
    Pretty please? Savior of Yoshiwara?
[08:02] Tsukuyo
    There is certainly more freedom in
    Yoshiwara after Hosen's death.
[08:07] Tsukuyo
    However, we have some new vermin who used
    to stay clear of Yoshiwara because of Hosen.
[08:14] Tsukuyo
    After all, there was nothing more powerful
    than Hosen to deter crime.
[08:19] Tsukuyo
    To be honest, the crime rate was
    lower with Hosen around.
[08:24] Tsukuyo
    There's no end to the assaults,
    burglaries, break-ins,
[08:28] Tsukuyo
    and other crimes committed by
    the Anti-Foreigner Faction.
[08:30] Tsukuyo
    The members of the Hyakka
    aren't able to keep up.
[08:33] Tsukuyo
    The biggest problem in Yoshiwara
    at the moment
[08:38] Tsukuyo
    would be the sale of illegal drugs.
[08:42] Tsukuyo
    Prostitutes whose bodies and
    souls have been worn out
[08:45] Tsukuyo
    turn to drugs for a moment of pleasure.
[08:49] Tsukuyo
    This town may appear at peace,
[08:51] Tsukuyo
    but they've already spread far
    and wide in the shadows.
[08:55] Tsukuyo
    There's one man running most
    of the business in Yoshiwara.
[08:58] Tsukuyo
    Fujinosuke Hashiba, said to be
    Yoshiwara's best customer...
[09:04] Tsukuyo
    No, his name holds no meaning.
[09:07] Tsukuyo
    He has many names.
[09:10] Tsukuyo
    Not only names.
[09:12] Tsukuyo
    He has multiple titles and faces.
[09:16] Tsukuyo
    But I doubt that any are
    grounded in reality.
[09:20] Tsukuyo
    He must be laughing as we struggle
    to find incriminating evidence,
[09:22] Tsukuyo
    while he buys Yoshiwara women, drinks liquor,
[09:26] Tsukuyo
    and watches as this town
    collapses around him.
[09:31] Gintoki
    How are we supposed to
    catch a guy like that?
[09:35] Gintoki
    I barely deserve the title
    of Yoshiwara's Savior.
[09:40] Gintoki
    You should know.
[09:42] Gintoki
    I'm doing business under the table here.
[09:46] Tsukuyo
    Nevertheless, we need your
    familiarity with this world.
[09:54] Tsukuyo
    Don't worry.
[09:55] Tsukuyo
    I have a lead.
[09:58] Gintoki
    What?
[10:03] Tsukuyo
    I saw a spider.
[10:07] Tsukuyo
    While I was on watch, I clearly saw it.
[10:13] Tsukuyo
    A spider tattoo on that man's neck...
[10:19] Gintoki
    A spider, huh?
[10:21] Gintoki
    Not much to go by, but oh well.
[10:24] Gintoki
    I'll have to let myself be caught.
[10:27] Gintoki
    In the spider web.
[10:31] Man
    C'mon! Place your bets!
[10:32] Man
    Evens or odds?
[10:33] Man
    Make your choice!
[10:34] Man
    Place your bets!
[10:35] Man
    Even!
[10:36] Man
    Odd!
[10:37] Man
    Even!
[10:37] Man
    Odd!
[10:37] Man
    Odd!
[10:38] Man
    Even!
[10:39] Tsukuyo
    They all have spider tattoos?
[10:42] Gintoki
    The Benigumoto (Red Spiders).
[10:44] Gintoki
    This gambling parlor is on their turf.
[10:47] Gintoki
    There wouldn't be any problem if they
    spent all their time rolling dice,
[10:51] Gintoki
    but they're the ones claiming to be
[10:53] Gintoki
    Anti-Foreigner Faction as they
    rob, threaten, and kill people.
[10:55] Gintoki
    A bunch of thieves willing to do anything.
[10:58] Gintoki
    Well, I wouldn't say that they're cut out to take
    over as the big evil group in Yoshiwara,
[11:03] Gintoki
    but there may be a connection.
[11:07] Gintoki
    You should get going.
[11:08] Gintoki
    I'll stand out if I have a woman with me.
[11:11] Gintoki
    Besides, women can't stand
    many-legged creatures.
[11:14] Tsukuyo
    Fool.
[11:15] Tsukuyo
    How could the leader of the Hyakka
    run away at this point?
[11:18] Tsukuyo
    Besides, I've already said that I stopped
    being a woman long ago.
[11:21] Gintoki
    You're the type that's guaranteed
    to press charges
[11:24] Gintoki
    if my elbow happens to poke
    your boob on a packed train.
[11:28] Gintoki
    Leave, stupid.
[11:30] Tsukuyo
    Then go ahead and touch me.
[11:32] Tsukuyo
    I don't mind.
[11:33] Gintoki
    Huh?
[11:34] Tsukuyo
    I won't let myself be taken lightly.
[11:38] Tsukuyo
    Touch me.
[11:39] Gintoki
    I'm not going to touch you.
[11:40] Gintoki
    I don't want any unnecessary trouble.
[11:42] Tsukuyo
    You won't run into any To Love-Ru.
SIGN    
[11:45] Tsukuyo
    Fool.
[11:46] Tsukuyo
    Just touch me already.
[11:47] Gintoki
    Hey, don't underestimate To Love-Ru.
[11:49] Gintoki
    Wake up to find a naked girl in your bed.
[11:51] Gintoki
    Trip and dive into another girl's crotch.
[11:52] Gintoki
    Even your little sister doesn't mind.
[11:53] Tsukuyo
    I told you, stuff like that won't happen!
[11:56] Tsukuyo
    Touch me already!
[11:58] Gintoki
    Cut it out!
[11:59] Gintoki
    A girl shouldn't say stuff like that!
[12:02] Gintoki
    You're supposed to save that
    phrase for when it counts...
[12:07] Gintoki
    A spider!
[12:19] Gintoki
    Huh?
[12:20] Gintoki
    This is...
[12:22] Tsukuyo
    Wh-What...
[12:24] Tsukuyo
    What do you think you're doing?!
[12:29] Gintoki
    Hey...
[12:30] Gintoki
    This isn't how you said it'd be?
[12:33] Tsukuyo
    Zip it.
[12:34] Tsukuyo
    You have no right to talk.
[12:36] Guy
    Uh...
[12:39] Guy
    Who are you people?
[12:56] Guy
    Which gang y'all from?
[13:00] Guy
    Why ya peekin' in our place?
[13:03] Guy
    'Fess up.
[13:04] Gintoki
    I was getting some puff-puff action.
[13:05] Guy
    Like hell you were!
[13:07] Guy
    Come up with a better lie!
[13:08] Gintoki
    Uh, that's actually what I was doing.
[13:11] Gintoki
    More like, I was forced into doing it.
[13:13] Tsukuyo
    Don't insinuate anything weird.
[13:15] Gintoki
    In any case, we were just doing
    some puff-puff action.
[13:17] Gintoki
    Nothing suspicious about us at all.
[13:18] Guy
    You'd be pretty damn suspicious if that
    was what you were actually doing!
[13:22] Gintoki
    Uh, to be honest...
[13:25] Gintoki
    We're a couple of thugs who wanna
    join the Benigumoto.
[13:28] Tsukuyo
    Wha-?!
[13:29] Guy
    What? Thugs?
[13:31] Guy
    Heh, you've got balls.
[13:34] Guy
    You brought a woman to come
    see me, the great Unkai,
[13:37] Guy
    head of the Benigumoto?
[13:38] Gintoki
    No way.
[13:39] Gintoki
    I never meant to offend you.
[13:41] Gintoki
    Cut me some slack, Unkie Turd.
[13:44] Guy
    Who are you calling Unkie Turd?!
[13:46] Guy
    I've just been a little constipated lately.
[13:48] Gintoki
    We're a married thug couple.
[13:50] Tsukuyo
    Huh?!
[13:51] Gintoki
    Both of us are intent on joining
    the Benigumoto together.
[13:55] Gintoki
    Right? We're a couple of thugs.
[13:58] Tsukuyo
    Wha...?!
[13:59] Gintoki
    We had our kids grow mullets.
[14:02] Gintoki
    And we force them to
    wear tattoo jackets.
[14:06] Tsukuyo
    That's right.
[14:08] Tsukuyo
    I lead a gang of girls.
[14:10] Tsukuyo
    Gintoki was top dog at West High.
[14:12] Tsukuyo
    I was attracted to his lone wolf attitude
    and got knocked up and married at 17.
[14:16] Tsukuyo
    Rode the winds of Shonan during pregnancy
    and ended up with twins.
[14:20] Tsukuyo
    Dia and Block have hair
    down to their waist now.
SIGN    [Note: The names combine to form "Diablock", a Japanese block toy similar to Lego.]
[14:24] Man
    Dia? Block?
[14:26] Man
    You gave your kids some crazy names!
[14:29] Man
    Boss!
[14:30] Man
    No doubt about it!
[14:31] Man
    These guys are genuine thugs!
[14:34] Man
    Why not let them join?
[14:36] Man
    I'd be more than happy
    to welcome this babe.
[14:39] Man
    Even if she's damaged goods.
[14:41] Man
    Come on, she's married.
[14:43] Man
    Exactly.
[14:45] Man
    I get turned on when I take something
    that belongs to another person.
[14:47] Man
    Let's ice the husband and take turns
    getting some of that puff-puff action!
[14:55] Tsukuyo
    Don't take me lightly.
[14:58] Tsukuyo
    I could skewer every single
    one of you in an instant,
[15:03] Tsukuyo
    if I wanted to.
[15:07] Tsukuyo
    And here's a heads-up.
[15:09] Tsukuyo
    My husband is a hundred
    times stronger than me.
[15:13] Unkai
    Your husband's been skewered.
[15:15] Tsukuyo
    Wha-?
[15:18] Gintoki
    You threw it without any warning.
[15:19] Gintoki
    Say something next time.
[15:21] Tsukuyo
    Sorry.
[15:25] Unkai
    The husband aside, this woman
    should prove useful.
[15:29] Unkai
    It can never hurt to have
    too many bodyguards.
[15:32] Unkai
    Work your asses off.
[15:40] Tsukuyo
    Gintoki. What if, what if...
[15:43] Tsukuyo
    these Benigumoto have absolutely
    nothing to do with the case?
[15:47] Tsukuyo
    What will happen to us?
[15:50] Gintoki
    Yeah, well... you know?
[15:52] Gintoki
    We'd be treated as accomplices,
[15:56] Gintoki
    and that's the end of that.
[15:58] Tsukuyo
    What do you mean, the end of that?
[15:59] Tsukuyo
    Don't you mean the end of us?
[16:01] Gintoki
    Huh? What do we do then?
[16:02] Gintoki
    Go pole vaulting? In Hawaii or something?
[16:05] Tsukuyo
    Hey, do you want to die?
[16:07] Tsukuyo
    Besides, where is this car even headed?
[16:10] Gintoki
    Don't worry about it.
[16:11] Gintoki
    It's probably going to a drug warehouse.
[16:13] Gintoki
    We'll find a link there.
[16:17] Gintoki
    Uh, excuse me.
[16:18] Gintoki
    Where are we going?
[16:20] Man
    A kamaboko plant.
SIGN    [Note: Kamaboko = processed fish meat]
[16:23] Gintoki
    A kamaboko plant, he said.
[16:24] Gintoki
    Isn't that nice?
[16:25] Gintoki
    I happened to be hungry.
[16:27] Tsukuyo
    No, it's not!
[16:28] Tsukuyo
    What exactly did you come here for?
[16:30] Tsukuyo
    And what kind of business do they
    have with a kamaboko plant?
[16:33] Gintoki
    Must be, y'know?
[16:35] Gintoki
    Some kind of new drug that's
    made from kamaboko?
[16:38] Man
    We're going to run over the plan
    before we reach the site.
[16:41] Man
    Grab as much kamaboko
    as you can and run for it!
[16:45] Tsukuyo
    What plan?!
[16:46] Tsukuyo
    These people just want
    to steal kamaboko!
[16:49] Man
    Okay, we're here!
[16:50] Man
    The kamaboko team gets off here!
[16:53] Man
    The illegal drug team should remain seated
    until we reach the warehouse.
[16:58] Tsukuyo
    Illegal drug team and kamaboko team?
[17:00] Tsukuyo
    What kind of selection is that?
[17:02] Man
    Hey, get off!
[17:04] Man
    You're on the kamaboko team!
[17:05] Man
    Grab as much kamaboko
    as you can and run for it!
[17:08] Tsukuyo
    Excuse me, I can't stand kamaboko,
    so please put me on the drug team.
[17:12] Tsukuyo
    The sight of that pink layer
    makes me want to hurl.
[17:15] Gintoki
    Oh really...
[17:16] Gintoki
    Then I'll grab sasa-kamaboko for you.
SIGN    [Note: Sasa-kamaboko = white leaf-shaped kamaboko]
[17:18] Tsukuyo
    Why are you joining in
    the kamaboko raid?!
[17:24] Tsukuyo
    We managed to get on the drug team.
[17:28] Tsukuyo
    Hey, why is the kamaboko
    team arming up?
[17:32] Tsukuyo
    Are they planning on risking
    their lives for kamaboko?
[17:35] Gintoki
    Hey, what about the drug team...?
[17:45] Tsukuyo
    Gintoki, are we going to be okay?
[17:47] Gintoki
    Probably.
[17:48] Tsukuyo
    No, I'm pretty sure we aren't okay.
[17:50] Gintoki
    We're fine.
[17:55] Man
    It's getting hard to do business
    around here.
[17:59] Man
    We aren't getting any drugs to sell.
[18:03] Man
    They're all going to Yoshiwara.
[18:07] Man
    The drug business has
    moved underground.
[18:12] Man
    Lowly thugs like us can't do any business without the
    permission of the organizations who run the place.
[18:21] Man
    There's been a change up top.
[18:24] Man
    No, I suppose that the top
    was forcibly changed.
[18:28] Man
    In the past, there were constant turf wars
    between the various gangs around.
[18:35] Man
    But now, our leaders have all been killed,
[18:39] Man
    so we have to hold hands
    and do business
[18:41] Man
    for the same man.
[18:46] Tsukuyo
    There are this many spider tattoos on
    people besides the Benigumoto...
[18:50] Gintoki
    It appears that thieves and Faction members
    have been gathered from all over.
[18:56] Gintoki
    The gang we're in is like the company
    you'd outsource your grunt work to.
[19:02] Tsukuyo
    I suppose so.
[19:04] Tsukuyo
    What could a bunch of kamaboko
    thieves be good for?
[19:09] Tsukuyo
    However...
[19:11] Tsukuyo
    We've found a lead.
[19:14] Tsukuyo
    The one single lead that will take us
[19:16] Tsukuyo
    to the nest of the boss spider.
[19:19] Shinpachi
    Who is that man?
[19:22] Man
    No idea.
[19:24] Man
    The top leaders don't even
    know his identity.
[19:28] Man
    Different people know him by different
    faces and different names.
[19:32] Man
    All we know is that he's crushed
    a number of groups by himself.
[19:38] Man
    Using some kind of phantasmagoric
    technique...
[19:42] Man
    And his monstrous power...
[19:45] Man
    He used that power to set up a web
    on this side in the blink of an eye.
[19:52] Man
    Playing detective is fine,
    but you oughta be careful.
[19:57] Man
    That man's web is vast and deep.
[20:01] Man
    Step on even one of his threads
[20:04] Man
    and you'll become entangled
[20:06] Man
    and eaten.
[20:09] Man
    Leaving no remains behind.
[20:19] Tsukuyo
    Shoot! We've been spotted!
[20:21] Gintoki
    Hey, you've gotta be kidding me!
[20:23] Gintoki
    Out of all that crowd,
    and from that location?!
[20:26] Tsukuyo
    He wasn't a common criminal after all.
[20:29] Tsukuyo
    His sharp detection skill
[20:31] Tsukuyo
    and his kunai weapon.
[20:33] Tsukuyo
    A ninja?
[20:35] Tsukuyo
    No, his skills are more like a...
[20:43] Gintoki
    Damn! We're completely surrounded!
[20:48] Gintoki
    Baby spiders crawling all over the place.
[20:51] Gintoki
    This is why I hate spiders!
[20:59] Tsukuyo
    Gintoki, I'll buy us some time!
[21:02] Tsukuyo
    You return to Yoshiwara and notify
    Hinowa and the Hyakka about this!
[21:06] Gintoki
    Don't be joking!
[21:07] Gintoki
    You think I'll leave a girl behind
    in a nest full of sleazy men?!
[21:13] Gintoki
    I'm the one staying!
[21:15] Tsukuyo
    I'm the one who brought
    you into this mess.
[21:18] Tsukuyo
    Go, quickly!
[21:19] Tsukuyo
    I'll follow behind shortly.
[21:20] Gintoki
    Sorry, but I try not to take a woman's
    last minute nonsense seriously.
[21:25] Tsukuyo
    Stop treating me as a woman.
[21:28] Tsukuyo
    I've already told you, I've stopped being
    a woman along with these scars.
[21:31] Gintoki
    Ha! For someone who screams
    over a puff-puff action,
[21:35] Gintoki
    you sure talk big!
[21:38] Tsukuyo
    Please go, I beg you.
[21:41] Tsukuyo
    I wish to stay as your equal.
[21:45] Tsukuyo
    When I'm with you, my resolve weakens.
[21:49] Jiraia
    Give up on being a woman,
[21:51] Jiraia
    Tsukuyo.
[21:53] Tsukuyo
    Don't shake up my feelings any further.
[22:00] Gintotki
    Pay attention, you idiot!
[22:10] Jiraia
    You're the one
[22:11] Jiraia
    who's not paying attention.
SIGN    
[23:54] Tsukuyo
    How can you be alive?!
[23:56] Gintoki
    Who the hell are you?!
[23:57] Zenzo
    You don't have a chance against him.
[23:59] Hinowa
    The Original Head of the Hyakka...
[24:00] Jiraia
    I alone will protect you.
SIGN    ["Once You're Entangled in a Spiderweb, It's Hard to Get It Off."]
[24:02] Tsukuyo
    Master?!
[24:05] ---
    Boys and girls across the country,
    GinTama Gymnastics are starting!
[24:11] ---
    No, they aren't.
[24:13] ---
    Can you stop trying to jump
    on every bandwagon?
[24:16] ---
    Oh, yeah? No good?
[24:18] ---
    No good.
SIGN    [The real Pirameki Gymnastics are up next, on the TV show PIRAMEKINO!!]
SIGN    [Pirapirapira! Pirapira~!]
SIGN    [See you next week.]