E275 - 9 + 1 = Yagyu Jyubei

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Between Man and Woman
SIGN    Kyubei's Request: Make sure to watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!
[01:41] FT
    Hey, samurai.
[01:44] FT
    Would you like your fortune told?
[01:48] Kyu
    Sorry, I'm not interested.
[01:50] FT
    I cannot make any guarantees as
    to the accuracy of my fortunes,
[01:54] FT
    but I do have a keen eye for people,
[01:57] FT
    young lady.
[02:00] FT
    You cover yourself in the garb of men,
[02:04] FT
    but I can tell that your heart wavers.
[02:07] FT
    You are unsure whether you
    should live as a woman or a man.
[02:14] FT
    I see.
[02:15] FT
    To keep your family tradition going,
    you were raised as a boy,
[02:18] FT
    and you were unable to escape the role.
[02:21] Kyu
    Even so, I met good friends
    who accept me for who I am,
[02:26] Kyu
    became aware of the female that,
    without a doubt, resides in me,
[02:30] Kyu
    and gradually began to accept it,
[02:33] Kyu
    but the male habits ingrained in my body
    prevent me from taking the next step
[02:37] Kyu
    out of embarrassment.
[02:38] Kyu
    That, and my lingering feelings
    for a certain someone
[02:42] Kyu
    leave me still uncertain whether I wish to be
[02:45] Kyu
    a yuri character or a tomboy character.
[02:48] FT
    Then why don't you try becoming
    a man in both body and mind?
[02:52] Kyu
    I-Is that even...
[02:54] FT
    It is possible, yes.
[02:56] FT
    If you truly desire it,
[02:59] FT
    I can change this world for you.
[03:05] FT
    Modern society is full of docile
    men and proactive women,
[03:09] FT
    people who disregard their gender roles.
[03:13] FT
    You people must face up to
    the sex you've been given
[03:18] FT
    and understand the roles God assigned to you.
[03:22] FT
    To that end, maybe you should
    lose those roles once.
[03:27] Kyu
    Sorry to say this after you lent me an ear,
[03:28] Kyu
    but I'm not interested in joining your cult.
[03:33] FT
    Do you wish to become a man?
[03:36] Kyu
    Stop it!
[03:37] Kyu
    I'm not about to stoop to escapism!
[03:40] FT
    You wish to escape the reality
    that you are a woman.
[03:44] FT
    Is that correct?
[03:45] Kyu
    That's enough!
[03:47] Kyu
    If you can change
    the world, then do it.
[03:48] Kyu
    But don't stir up people's hearts with
    words you can't follow through on!
[03:52] FT
    That was a "yes," I take it?
[03:58] FT
    Now, behold.
[04:00] FT
    Our universal god, Lord Dekobokko,
    shall bring judgment down upon you!
[04:05] FT
    This town will be reborn,
[04:08] FT
    and you will have a new sex
    in that brand new world.
[04:11] FT
    I can hardly wait to see
    how you will live with it.
[04:27] G
    Are you okay?
[04:28] G
    What was that light just now?
[04:33] Jyu
    Hey.
[04:34] Jyu
    What just happened?
[04:37] Jyu
    What was with that fortune teller?
[04:40] Jyu
    Was that light just now her doing?
[04:42] Jyu
    It can't be.
[04:45] Jyu
    My body feels heavy.
[04:47] Jyu
    Is it my imagination,
    or have I gained weight?
[04:56] Jyu
    Oh, pardon me for staring.
[04:59] Jyu
    It's just, your clothes are
    so similar to mine...
[05:04] Jyu
    Wh-Why?
[05:05] Jyu
    Wh-Why can't I look up?
[05:08] Jyu
    It's not unheard of for people
    to wear similar outfits, right?
[05:11] Jyu
    But is it normal for even
    the eyepatch to be the same?
[05:14] Jyu
    Is it some kind of costume?
[05:15] Jyu
    Oh, he must be a cosplay party animal.
[05:19] Jyu
    B-But if I look up and see
    the party animal again...
[05:24] Jyu
    No, that's impossible.
[05:26] Jyu
    The very thought is preposterous.
[05:28] Jyu
    I'm not a man.
[05:29] Jyu
    And I'm not a woman, either.
[05:31] Jyu
    I'm...
[05:33] Jyu
    I'm Yagyu Kyu—
[05:40] Jyu
    I've become Jyubei.
[05:42] Jyu
    Kyubei's grown an unfamiliar extra rod!
[05:44] Jyu
    I've become Yagyu Jyubei!
SIGN    9 + 1 = Yagyu Jyubei
[05:52] Jyu
    N-No way.
[05:54] Jyu
    This can't be!
[05:57] Jyu
    I won't accept this!
[05:58] Jyu
    I won't accept such a thing!
[06:00] Jyu
    I...
[06:06] Gin
    What are you doing, bro?
[06:08] Gin
    You'll hurt yourself.
[06:09] Jyu
    I'm not a bro!
[06:10] Jyu
    I'm—
[06:15] Jyu
    F-Forgive me!
[06:17] Gin
    What?
[06:17] Gin
    Why are you apologizing for
    touching a man's chest?
[06:21] Jyu
    B-But it just went "boing"...
[06:24] Gin
    Boing?
[06:25] Gin
    Huh? What the hell?
[06:32] Jyu
    Don't tell me...
[06:33] Gin
    Are you...
SIGN    Odd Jobs Gin-chan
SIGN    Toilet
[06:43] Jyu
    How'd it go?
[06:47] Gin
    It's been so long since I last saw one!
[06:48] Jyu
    That's the issue here?!
[06:50] Gin
    How did it come to this...
[06:52] Gin
    Er, you're Kyubei, right?
[06:55] Jyu
    Call me Jyubei now.
SIGN    Sugar Content
[06:58] Jyu
    As for you, would Ginko-san be all right?
[07:01] Gin
    Nah, call me Vagin—
[07:04] Jyu
    You saw that light, too, didn't you?
[07:07] Jyu
    That's probably the cause.
[07:11] Gin
    Y-You gotta be kidding me.
[07:13] Gin
    You're saying everyone who was
    exposed to that light swapped genders?
[07:18] Gin
    And this is happening all over
    the Kabuki District as we speak?
[07:21] Jyu
    Yes, unfortunately.
[07:22] Gin
    So, basically...
[07:25] Gin
    I should fondle these boobs
    while I still can, huh?
[07:27] Jyu
    Where did that come from?!
[07:29] Gin
    But, you know, dreams never go all the way.
[07:32] Gin
    They peter out just as you
    get to the good stuff.
[07:34] Jyu
    This is not a dream!
[07:35] Jyu
    It's reality!
[07:37] Kag
    Gin-chan!
[07:38] Gin
    Kagura!
[07:39] Jyu
    Was Kagura-chan exposed to that light, too?
[07:41] Kag
    Help!
[07:42] Kag
    Help me!
[07:43] Kag
    Make it go away!
[07:44] Kag
    It's over there!
[07:47] Gin
    Oh, it was just a roach?
    Don't scare me like that.
[07:51] Kag
    So creepy.
[07:55] Gin
    You're the creepy one here!
[07:57] Gin
    Before crying about roaches, take a
    good look at your roach of a face!
[08:01] Kag
    Oh, so you guys swapped genders, too.
[08:04] Gin
    Yours goes far beyond that!
[08:06] Gin
    There's no trace of the original
    you! What's with the eye scar?!
[08:09] Kag
    When I woke up from my nap and
    went to the restroom earlier,
[08:11] Kag
    I found something weird
    hanging from my crotch.
[08:14] Kag
    But don't worry. I got rid of it already.
[08:17] Kag
    I got it!
[08:18] Gin
    What the hell did you do?!
[08:19] Kag
    "Essence of my father, blood of my mother,
SIGN    Essence of my father,
    blood of my mother,
    I cannot throw this away.
[08:21] Kag
    I cannot throw this away!"
[08:23] Gin
    Who are you, Xiahou Dun?
[08:24] Gin
    Did you eat it like he ate his eyeball?
[08:26] Gin
    Also, getting rid of your
    balls hasn't solved anything!
[08:29] Gin
    Your face practically screams "I have a pair"!
[08:33] Kag
    Such is war.
[08:35] Kag
    Even if you render the enemy
    general impotent and win,
[08:37] Kag
    only sorrow will remain in
    the hearts of the populace.
[08:39] Gin
    She hasn't turned into a "he"
    so much as a "hero."
SIGN    He
SIGN    Hero
[08:43] Jyu
    She was affected even though
    she was napping at home?
[08:46] Jyu
    Anyway, we should keep people
    away from the Kabuki District.
[08:48] Jyu
    Contact Shinpachi-kun.
[08:50] Kag
    Leave that mission to me.
[08:53] Kag
    Let's go, Sekitobaharu!
[08:57] Gin
    Hold it right there!
SIGN    Sekitobaharu
    (Red Hare-haru)
[08:59] Gin
    What do you mean, Sekitobaharu?!
[09:02] Gin
    Is that Sadaharu?!
[09:04] Gin
    Forget genders, he's swapped species!
[09:07] Gin
    Why has he been made accomplice
    to your military style?!
[09:10] Shin
    I'm back.
[09:12] Shin
    Did you see that light before, Gin-san?
[09:14] Shin
    The entire town's in an uproar.
[09:17] Jyu
    Oh, no.
[09:18] Gin
    Were we too late?
[09:20] Shin
    Who are you people?
[09:22] Shin
    Don't just barge into other people's houses!
[09:26] Gin
    Shinpachi!
[09:26] Jyu
    Shinpachi-kun!
[09:29] Jyu
    We were too late!
[09:30] Gin
    Damn it all!
[09:32] Gin
    How could this be?!
[09:33] Gin
    Shinpachi's...
[09:34] Gin
    Shinpachi's frame turned pink!
[09:38] Gin
    He's become so feminine!
[09:41] Shin
    Uh, that's not Shinpachi.
[09:42] Kag
    Curse you, Zhuge Liang!
[09:44] Shin
    Uh, he has nothing to do with this.
[09:45] Jyu
    How am I supposed to tell Tae-chan?
[09:48] Shin
    I don't know what's going on, but I
    do know that you guys piss me off.
[09:52] Jyu
    The whole town is in chaos.
SIGN    Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[09:55] Jyu
    It seems like there were more
    casualties than we thought.
[10:00] (Flashback) FT
    If you truly desire it,
[10:03] (Flashback) FT
    I can change this world for you.
[10:07] Jyu
    It might be my fault.
[10:10] Jyu
    This whole situation might be my doing.
[10:18] PA
    Emergency alert.
[10:21] PA
    The Kabuki District has been
    placed under martial law.
[10:27] PA
    People in the vicinity are to follow
    the government officials' instructions
[10:30] PA
    and leave the area as quickly as possible.
[10:34] PA
    All those in the district
    are to wait for orders.
[10:37] PA
    Do not leave, under any circumstances.
[10:52] W
    Hey! Let us outta here!
[10:55] G
    I don't want to stay in an old man's body!
[10:59] Gin
    Every way out's been blocked off completely.
[11:02] Gin
    Guess we're trapped in
    here with these bodies.
SIGN    Yagyu Kyubei (M)
[11:07] Jyu
    Is the government trying to
    keep the damage from spreading
[11:11] Jyu
    by putting us under quarantine?
SIGN    Sakata Gintoki (F)
[11:13] Gin
    Nah, they might just be trying to
    literally cover up this problem.
SIGN    Sekitobaharu (F) Kagura (M)
[11:17] Kag
    Is it that cursed Zhuge Liang's trap?!
SIGN    Pink Glasses
[11:20] Shin
    Why am I the clearly the odd one out?!
[11:22] Shin
    Why did only my glasses get a makeover?!
[11:24] Shin
    Also, are you guys really Gin-san and gang?
[11:27] Gin
    Give it a rest. I told
    you that I'm now Vagin—
[11:30] Jyu
    Call us Ginko-san and Jyubei.
[11:32] Shin
    But how am I supposed to believe you?
[11:35] Shin
    This can't be Kagura-chan.
[11:37] Kag
    I'm not Kagura-chan.
SIGN    Kagura Dun
[11:39] Kag
    Call me Kagura Dun, whelp!
[11:40] Shin
    Who the hell is Kagura Dun?!
[11:42] Shin
    That's not even the same character anymore!
[11:45] Shin
    Wh-What's that?
[11:47] FTAB
    People of Earth.
[11:49] FTAB
    Have you graciously accepted
    your gift from God?
[11:53] Jyu
    That's...
[11:54] AB
    What has happened to your
    bodies is an undeniable fact.
[12:00] AB
    It is a trial that God has bestowed upon you.
[12:03] AB
    Until now, you people have
    been neglecting your genders.
[12:09] AB
    Frail men who escape to anime and
    games out of a fear of getting hurt.
[12:15] AB
    Haughty women who lord over men
    under the pretext of gender equality.
[12:20] AB
    Lord Dekobokko is most
    saddened and angered by this.
[12:25] AB
    If you are so discontent with
    the sex you have been granted,
[12:29] AB
    then he feels you should swap them and
    try living a new life with a new sex.
[12:35] AB
    Should you Earth people adopt
    Dekobokkoism as your state religion
[12:39] AB
    and exhibit the will to remain
    faithful to your genders,
[12:42] AB
    God will forgive all your sins
    and turn you back to normal.
[12:48] AB
    But if you continue to defy his teachings,
[12:52] AB
    then his light of judgment shall fall
[12:55] AB
    not only on the Kabuki District,
    but on this entire planet.
[13:00] AB
    Do not forget. We are always watching you.
[13:08] W
    What was that just now?
[13:10] G
    What's the meaning of this?
[13:12] Gin
    Enough with the jokes already.
[13:15] Gin
    Lord Dekobokko?
[13:16] Gin
    I can't go back to normal
    unless I act feminine?
[13:18] Gin
    Who in their right mind
    would believe that crap?
[13:22] Gin
    That aside, Pachie,
[13:23] Gin
    wanna hit up the photo booth at the arcade?
[13:25] Shin
    You clearly believe it!
[13:27] Shin
    Who do you think you are,
    a high school girl?!
[13:29] Gin
    Quit being so wary, Pachie.
[13:31] Gin
    It's 'cause you're so uptight
    that you can't get a boyfriend.
[13:34] Shin
    I don't want a boyfriend!
[13:35] Shin
    And I'm not Pachie!
[13:37] Gin
    You got it all wrong, girl.
[13:39] Gin
    Apparently there's this hot
    new photo booth where
[13:41] Gin
    you can take pictures with a
    total cutie-patootie mascot.
SIGN    1,000 yen a pop
SIGN    1,000 yen a pop
[13:46] Kag
    Welcome!
[13:47] Kag
    Right now, you have the chance to take
    pictures with me, Lord Dekobokko.
[13:50] Kag
    Gosh, you are such a cutie pie!
[13:52] Shin
    Don't collaborate with the
    zealots to make money!
[13:55] Kag
    In these chaotic times,
[13:57] Kag
    people don't have the strength to
    live without a pillar of faith.
[14:02] Kag
    'Tis also a lord's duty to accept
    the weakness of his people.
[14:05] Shin
    Nobody's gonna accept how
    weak your brains are!
[14:08] W
    It's Lord Dekobokko!
[14:10] W
    If you take a picture with him,
    you can go back to normal!
[14:12] G
    Let me take one too, Lord Dekobokko!
[14:15] Jyu
    Calm down, everyone!
[14:16] Shin
    This is basically a riot!
[14:18] W
    Out of the way! I'm going first!
[14:20] G
    No, I am!
[14:22] Tae
    Um, could you let me through?
[14:25] G
    You're in the way!
[14:33] Jyu
    Didn't you hear me telling you to calm down?
[14:38] Jyu
    Are you all right, miss?
[14:40] Jyu
    You're not hurt, are you?
[14:41] Tae
    I-I'm fine.
[14:44] Tae
    Thank you for saving m—
[14:51] Jyu
    T-Tae-chan?
[14:53] Tae
    Are you...
[14:55] Tae
    Kyu-chan?
[14:58] Shin
    I can't believe you were in
    the Kabuki District too, Sis.
[15:01] Shin
    But then, why is your body unchanged?
[15:05] Gin
    You're being rude, Pachie.
[15:07] Gin
    Look at her chest.
    It's as flat as Sekigahara.
[15:09] Gin
    It's been razed to the grou—
[15:11] Tae
    I hate to break it to you, but
    I only came here after the fact.
[15:16] Tae
    The uproar on TV got me worried,
    so I decided to check on Odd Jobs,
[15:20] Tae
    but I got locked in here instead.
[15:23] Tae
    Now I find Gin-san with this massive rack.
[15:27] Tae
    Good for you.
[15:29] Tae
    You can fondle them to your heart's content.
[15:30] Gin
    O-Ow! You're gonna rip my boob off!
[15:33] Tae
    And speaking of surprises,
[15:36] Tae
    I find this fabulous man,
[15:39] Tae
    and it turned out to be Kyu-chan.
[15:42] Shin
    Sis, now is not the time for that.
[15:45] Jyu
    I-I'm not Kyubei, but Jyubei, her brother.
[15:48] Jyu
    I'm currently looking for a girlfriend.
[15:49] Shin
    Quit trying to take advantage of this crisis!
[15:52] Gin
    Is this seriously your type of guy, Otae?
[15:54] Gin
    Jyubei's cute and all, but doesn't he
    seem like a total De Astini type?
[15:59] Gin**
    Like the publisher, he'll be nice until
    you start a relationship, but then...
[16:01] Shin
    And you, quit ignoring the crisis for
    a session of high school girls' talk!
[16:04] Kag
    No, while it's true that De Astini serialized
    the Records of the Three Kingdoms...
[16:09] Shin**
    Nobody was talking about you!
[16:11] Shin
    Have you heard of Dekobokkoism?
[16:14] Shin
    It's an extremist religious cult that's
    on all the interspace wanted lists.
[16:18] Shin
    The core members are all hermaphrodites,
[16:21] Shin
    or people who are both male and female.
[16:24] Shin
    As such, they've adopted a very
    strict doctrine about gender.
[16:29] Shin
    Men must be manly, and women feminine,
    or they'll be subject to divine punishment.
[16:34] Shin
    I'd heard they'd been propagating
    such beliefs on various planets,
[16:38] Shin
    but I never knew it'd be like this.
[16:40] Shin
    I have no idea how they did it,
[16:42] Shin
    but unless we do something about them,
[16:43] Shin
    none of us will go back to normal.
[16:46] Gin
    That's easier said that done.
[16:48] Gin
    Not only do have no clue where they are,
     but we can't leave this town, either.
[16:52] Tae
    Also, they said they're always watching us,
[16:55] Tae
    so they must have a wide
    surveillance network.
[16:58] Tae
    If we do anything stupid,
    we'll put all of Earth in danger.
[17:02] Gin
    That's right!
[17:04] Gin
    They've taken the Earth and my pair hostage.
[17:06] Gin
    Three balls in total!
[17:07] Shin
    What do we do, then?
[17:09] Gin
    Well, let the government handle
    the state religion mess.
[17:13] Gin
    The more pressing matter we face now is...
[17:16] Gin
    How to pee!
[17:17] Shin
    Who cares?!
[17:19] Gin
    I do!
[17:20] Gin
    We don't know where and how
    they could be watching us.
[17:23] Gin
    So until things get fixed,
    I gotta act feminine!
[17:27] Gin
    And provided I learn the
    right way to pee now,
[17:28] Gin
    even if I find someone peeing
    wrong while I'm peeing,
[17:31] Gin
    I can teach them the right way to pee—
[17:33] Shin
    Enough!
[17:34] Shin
    How many times are you
    gonna say the word pee?!
[17:35] Gin
    I'll cut to the chase.
[17:37] Gin
    How do I take a leak the feminine way?
[17:39] Jyu
    H-How? J-Just do it normally.
[17:43] Gin
    What's that supposed to mean?
[17:44] Gin
    Do you know how to take a manly leak?
[17:47] Jyu
    There's nothing manly or
    feminine in using the toilet!
[17:50] Jyu
    I'm telling you to do it normally.
[17:52] Gin
    And I'm telling you I
    don't get what's normal.
[17:55] Gin
    Do you mean something like this?
[17:57] Tae
    Excuse us.
[17:58] Tae
    We need to visit the washroom.
[18:01] Gin
    Say, Otae.
[18:03] Gin
    Who are you gunning for?
[18:05] Gin
    For starters, that lame four-eyes
    is out of the question, right?
[18:08] Gin
    I mean, pink glasses? Seriously?
[18:10] Shin
    Who cares about that part?!
[18:12] Shin
    Why are you playing a scene
    right out of a mixer?!
[18:14] Kyu
    Hold it!
[18:16] Kyu
    Why are you trying to stroll into
    the women's toilet with Tae-chan?
[18:19] Gin
    What else can I do? I am a woman right now!
[18:21] Gin
    And this way, I can ask her how to do it!
[18:23] Shin
    What kind of perverted things
    are you trying to make Sis do?!
[18:26] Shin
    It'd paint a horrible picture!
[18:28] Kag
    Oh, all right.
[18:30] Kag
    I'll teach you.
[18:31] Shin
    That'd paint an even worse picture!
[18:33] ???
    Um, if you'd like...
[18:36] ???
    I can teach you.
[18:40] ???
    Formerly men, now women.
[18:43] ???
    It shouldn't be a problem when
    we're both in the same boat, right?
[18:46] Shin
    Huh? You were a man, too?
[18:48] Shin
    I-I can't believe it.
[18:50] ???
    At times like these, we need
    to help each other out.
[18:54] ???
    At first, I had no idea what to do either,
[18:57] ???
    but it's easy once you get used to it.
[18:59] Gin
    She may have formerly been a man,
[19:01] Gin
    but should I really be making
    such a sexy lady do this?
[19:05] Gin
    It's fine. It's out of my hands.
[19:07] Gin
    Besides, this is Gintama!
[19:09] ???
    I just did it normally over there.
[19:13] Gin
    Uh, sorry.
[19:15] Gin
    Small, not big.
[19:17] ???
    Small?
[19:18] ???
    I was pretty pent-up, so I'd say
    it was a pretty big one myself.
[19:22] Gin
    That's not what I meant.
[19:24] Gin
    But before all that, isn't
    that outdoor defecation?
[19:27] ???
    More like an out-of-the-box du—
[19:28] Gin
    It's outdoor defecation, isn't it?
[19:30] ???
    I didn't know whether to use the
    men's or the women's toilet,
[19:34] ???
    so I took a freedom du—
[19:35] Gin
    No matter how much you deny it,
    it's outdoor defecation, isn't it?
[19:38] ???
    Forgive me.
[19:40] ???
    I was following someone, so I didn't
    have time to look for a toilet.
[19:43] ???
    Oh, despite how I look, I'm a policeman.
[19:48] ???
    Though it wasn't a criminal I was following,
[19:51] ???
    but Otae-san.
SIGN    Kondo Isao (F)
[19:54] Gin
    So it was outdoor defecation.
[19:56] Tae
    What the hell do you think you're doing?!
[20:01] Tae
    How'd a gorilla turn into
    a Takarazuka Revue beauty?
[20:04] Tae
    Why does he have these huge knockers?!
[20:09] Kon
    Ow! You're gonna rip my boob off!
[20:12] Shin
    Is that seriously Kondo-san?
[20:15] Kon
    Forgive me, Otae-san.
[20:16] Kon
    I didn't want you to see me like this,
[20:20] Kon
    but when I saw you in trouble,
    I just couldn't leave you alone.
[20:23] Kon
    The thing is, I...
[20:25] Kon
    Frankly, I'm sexier than you—
[20:28] PA
    Heretics spotted.
[20:30] Gin
    Hey! We really were being watched!
[20:33] Gin
    What was the problem?
[20:35] Gin
    The outdoor defecation? Otae?
[20:36] Gin
    There's so many things it could be,
    I can't tell which one it is!
[20:39] Shin
    Anyway, we need to run away!
[20:40] C
    Capture the heretics.
[20:44] C
    Capture the heretics.
[20:47] Shin
    Oh, no. We're surrounded.
[20:49] Gin
    Hey, cop! Do something about this!
[20:52] Kon
    D-Don't worry.
[20:54] Kon
    Th-The government hasn't abandoned this town.
[20:57] Kon
    I didn't come here just to follow Otae-san.
[21:01] Kon
    I infiltrated this place in order to guide
[21:03] Kon
    the special new unit that has
    the mission of saving the town!
[21:09] Oki
    Let's go, you louts.
SIGN    Okita Sogo (F)
[21:13] Oki
    Cunsengumi, move out.
SIGN    Shinsengumi (F)
[21:17] Shin
    It's just a group of
    gender-swapped special idiots!
[21:20] Shin
    What the hell are you doing?
    Aren't you supposed to be cops?!
[21:24] Tae
    Hey, what is with all of you?
[21:27] Tae
    Are you messing with me?!
[21:29] Oki
    Over there, boss lady!
    The enemy's over there!
[21:32] Tae
    Well, your breasts are my enemies!
[21:36] Oki
    This is bad, Hijikata-san!
[21:37] Oki
    There's an unexpected enemy!
[21:38] Oki
    She's gonna take us out, Hijikata-san!
[21:42] Hij
    How stupid.
[21:44] Hij
    I'd love to give these annoying
    lumps away if I could.
SIGN    Hijikata Toshiro (F)
[21:54] Tae
    Thank you.
[21:55] Hij
    What the hell's that supposed to mean?!
SIGN    To Be Continued
SIGN    Preview
[23:31] Hij
    Why am I the only one who looks like this?
[23:34] Oki
    It's all the mayonnaise
    calories you accumulated.
[23:37] ???
    Sheesh. I'm fed up with the men of this town.
[23:40] ???
    Begone, you pigs.
[23:42] Gin
    Next Episode: "Calories Come Back to Bite
    You Just When You've Forgotten About Them."
SIGN    Calories Come Back to Bite You Just
    When You've Forgotten About Them
[23:45] Jyu
    Why am I feeling joy in this situation?
SIGN    Preview
SIGN    With all the changed, unchanged,
SIGN    and slightly changed people,
SIGN    you'd think there'd be chaos on the scene,
SIGN    but everyone seems surprisingly into it.