E135 - Before Thinking About the Earth, Think About the More Endangered Gintaman’s Future!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Amachi
    Uho.
[00:06] Gintoki (M)
    Wasn't that shot sorta long for just "Uho"?
SIGN    [SHUEISHA]
[01:41] Editor
    Daitooo!
[01:43] Editor
    Hey, you! There's no way I can approve a dirty story idea like this!
[01:48] Editor
    You can't jump into the gutter just because you ran out of decent ideas!
[01:51] Editor
    What're you tryin' to pull?!
[01:52] Editor
    What? You're trying to use smut to cover up a bad story, aren't you?
[01:57] ---
    But I can easily see you've reached the limit of your abilities! You've got no depth at all!
[02:00] Editor
    Daito, please!
[02:03] Editor
    Please don't frustrate me.
[02:07] ---
    My hair is falling out because of you!
[02:09] ---
    I can't tell people I part my hair in the middle anymore! You hear me?!
[02:12] Editor
    Look over there!
[02:13] ---
    That's Konishi, who was doing your job before!
[02:14] Editor
    He became an efficient editor, and is now in charge of the mega-hit manga, "One Park"!
[02:18] ---
    When he was in charge,
[02:20] ---
    "Gintaman" was a well-known battle manga and it laid the foundations for JUMP.
[02:28] Editor
    But look at you! Who the hell are you?
[02:31] ---
    You're just some big guy, but people like you usually have small peckers.
[02:35] Editor
    But you have a big pecker! Even that pisses me off!
[02:39] ---
    Listen! If your next survey scores the lowest, like this time,
[02:45] ---
    Daito, you and your services on "Gintaman" will...
[02:48] Editor
    ...no longer be needed for JUMP!
[02:57] Daito (N)
    How did things get like this?
[03:01] Daito (N)
    Why do I have to languish like this?
[03:04] Daito (N)
    I used to be in charge of a manga about girls who played American football, called "Paishield." That was a big hit.
[03:10] Daito (N)
    Murara Sensei always gave me his manuscripts three days before the deadline,
[03:13] Daito (N)
    even though I didn't ask.
[03:16] Daito (N)
    I had always scored high in reader surveys.
[03:17] Girl
    I won't let you do that!
[03:19] Daito (N)
    But then for some reason, I was switched to another manga.
[03:22] Daito (N)
    And now, I'm working on small-time manga like this.
[03:27] Daito (N)
    I didn't know what was wrong.
[03:30] ---
    I didn't want to know what had happened to me.
[03:32] Gintoki
    Aw crap, "Gintaman" is still in this week's issue.
[03:36] Gintoki
    I can't believe it. It's jumped the shark.
[03:40] Gintoki
    I wonder what the editor is thinking.
[03:43] Gintoki
    No way. Even if they put some effort into it, it's hopeless.
[03:46] ---
    It's always in the lineup before "Nyaga-san."
[03:49] ---
    Man, I sure hate seeing JUMP slide like this.
[03:52] Gintoki
    While I was an advisor for "Gintaman," I made it a great battle manga that was a pillar of JUMP.
[03:56] Gintoki
    But it's really lost its edge.
[03:58] Daito
    Um...
[04:00] Gintoki
    Huh?
[04:01] Daito
    Could I ask you a few questions?
[04:05] Gintoki
    I see. Now you're in charge of "Gintaman."
[04:09] ---
    What happened to that guy I called Shorty who thought he was an otaku.
[04:11] Daito
    You mean Konishi.
[04:13] ---
    He's in charge of "One Park."
[04:14] Gintoki
    Wow, he is?
[04:16] Gintoki
    It sounds like he's really risen in life.
[04:19] Gintoki
    I remember he was always worried about getting fired back then.
[04:22] Daito (N)
    He treated Konishi like a rookie editor?!
[04:26] ---
    It means the rumor that someone else was the real engineer behind the success of Gintaman was correct.
[04:34] Daito
    I'm not worthy! Please help me!
SIGN    ["Before Worrying about the Earth, Think About the Even More Endangered Future of 'Gintaman'"]
[05:10] Konishi
    You can't just call and expect me to come anymore.
[05:13] Daito
    Konishi! I'm sorry, but thank you for coming.
[05:15] Konishi
    You should be thankful! I hardly have any time since I started working on "One Park."
[05:18] Konishi
    You should know that.
[05:20] ---
    All these meetings, parties, dating parties and more dating parties.
[05:24] Daito (M)
    Mainly dating parties.
[05:26] Konishi
    I've moved on from "Gintaman" - that's a manga for the masses.
[05:30] ---
    Can you tell me how many millions of magazines "Gintaman" sold in its first edition?
[05:34] ---
    Can you? Tell me!
[05:35] Daito
    M-Millions? Not thousands or...?
[05:38] Konishi
    No. It's at least two million, like One Park!
[05:43] Daito
    More like...ze-zero point million.
[05:45] Amachi
    Uho.
[05:47] Koishi
    Thanks for inviting me.
[05:49] Daito
    Koishi Sensei! I'm glad you could come!
[05:52] Koishi
    Hey. Long time, no see!
[05:54] Konishi
    What?!
[05:55] ---
    What's he doing here?
[05:57] Daito
    Well...
[05:59] Gintoki
    Yo!
[06:01] Konishi
    Y-You are?
[06:03] Daito
    Gintoki! Now that you're here, anything is possible.
[06:08] Gintoki
    I owed you one, so showing up was the least I could do for you.
[06:12] Daito
    So everybody's here.
[06:14] Gintoki
    Hey, Shorty! Long time no see.
[06:18] Konishi
    Well...Who are you?
[06:20] Gintoki
    What are you talking about? Don't tell me you've forgotten my face.
[06:24] ---
    Say "Dondake?!"
[06:27] Daito
    As you know, "Gintaman" has been losing its popularity lately.
[06:31] ---
    So I'd like to ask for your help in boosting it back up.
[06:35] ---
    I'd appreciate your support.
[06:36] Amachi
    Uho!
[06:38] Gintoki
    But "Gintaman" ran out of battles, it's past its peak.
[06:43] Gintoki
    I don't think an extension is possible.
[06:45] Konishi
    You say that, but you the one who turned it into a battle manga on a par with "Dragon Bose!"
[06:49] Gintoki
    Listen! The manga in JUMP all turn battle manga before they end! That's destiny!
[06:54] Konishi
    But it's not always like that!
[06:55] Gintoki
    Well, it depends on the story.
[06:58] Koishi
    Hey, please calm down, you two.
[07:02] Gintoki
    Who are you?
[07:03] Daito
    This is Koishi Sensei. He wrote and illustrated "Maison de Gin-Gin" and now works on "Asokomarudashi."
[07:09] Gintoki
    I see. I heard you worked as a cashier in your hometown for a while.
[07:12] ---
    Anyway, what are you doing here?
[07:15] Koishi
    You know, I'm a revival man, so I thought he needed someone like me to revive "Gintaman"!
[07:26] Koishi
    I'm outta here.
[07:27] Daito
    Oh, no! Please wait, Koishi Sensei!
[07:28] Amachi
    Uho!
[07:29] Gintoki
    Hey, I was just kidding. I really liked your manga!
[07:34] ---
    Especially that report manga!
[07:36] Daito
    Hey, don't mention that one!
[07:46] Daito
    So...
[07:47] All
    Cheers!
[07:48] Daito
    Well, I'm kicking off our meeting about "Gintaman's" future.
[07:53] ---
    Does anyone have any ideas?
[07:55] Konishi
    I said, stop taking pieces of chicken off the skewer!
[07:58] Konishi
    But you can't taste the real yakitori without the skewer. Understand?
[07:58] Daito
    Um... Any ideas?
[08:00] ---
    Nah, this is how you enjoy yakitori!
[08:03] Koishi
    I think everyone want to try all kinds of food.
[08:05] Konishi
    I don't need that kind of advice!
[08:05] Daito
    Ideas?
[08:07] Koishi
    Yakitori is yakitori whether it's on skewer or not.
[08:10] Konishi
    What if yakitori came in a tube.
[08:11] Konishi
    Then it wouldn't be yakitori anymore, would it? Tube! Tube! Tube!
[08:12] Daito
    Stop talking about the tube! Focus on the meeting!
[08:16] Gintoki
    So, what should we talk about first?
[08:19] Daito
    Let's first talk about what the issue is with "Gintaman."
[08:23] Konishi
    All right.
[08:24] Koishi
    There's no question that "Gintaman" has too much dirty language.
[08:27] Konishi
    And the illustrations are crude!
[08:28] Amachi
    Uho...
[08:28] Daito
    Well, those are just basic issues. How can I explain it?
[08:33] Gintoki
    In a word, what is "Gintaman" lacking?
[08:38] Daito
    That's it!
[08:39] Konishi
    I know the answer. What "Gintaman" doesn't have is...
[08:43] ---
    ...sex!
[08:44] Daito
    Sex?
[08:45] Koishi
    The women in "Gintaman" are all violent characters.
[08:49] Koishi
    Ginta shrinks and jumps right between her giant boobs.
[08:53] Koishi
    So it needs another character, some sexy woman.
[08:56] Daito
    Ah ha! "Gintaman" didn't have the ingredients for a heroine! That's it!
[09:01] Amachi
    Uho!
[09:02] Gintoki
    All right, let's figure out the details of this heroine.
[09:07] Amachi
    Uho!
[09:08] Gintoki
    You got any ideas?
[09:09] Amachi
    Uho uho....
[09:23] Daito
    Great!
[09:24] Gintoki
    What did he say? Please translate for me.
[09:27] Daito
    He said, giant boobs!
[09:28] Gintoki
    Hey! Why did it take him so long just to say that?
[09:32] Koishi
    And the heroine is Gintaman's childhood friend.
[09:35] Koishi
    We need to have this kind of traditional setting.
[09:36] Konishi
    I like a fair-skinned girl from the snow country.
[09:40] Daito
    How about a sporty girl, just like "Paishield"?
[09:42] ---
    She belongs to the basketball club, and she wears sleeveless shirts!
[09:45] ---
    Does that sound sexy or what?
[09:46] Konishi
    That's why you can't sell a million magazines.
[09:50] Daito
    Give it a rest, you idiot!
[09:52] ---
    You talk like you're a big man, but the real big man is Yoda Sensei! Not you!
[09:55] Konishi
    What?!
[09:56] Koishi
    Hey, hey. Calm down, both of you!
[09:58] Koishi
    How about a girl who speaks with a Hakata accent?
[10:01] Gintoki
    Well, do you have any good ideas?
[10:04] Amachi
    Uho?
[10:22] Mikako
    Ginta! Ginta!
[10:24] ---
    Hey, Ginta!
[10:27] ---
    He's still sleeping?!
[10:33] Mikako
    Wake up!
[10:34] ---
    Ow!
[10:35] ---
    Hey, you!
[10:38] Mikako
    What do you mean, "hey you"?
[10:40] Mikako
    I came in here ta wake ya up!
[10:42] Ginta-Kun
    I'm saying: Don't come into my room without asking!
[10:45] Mikako
    Whatevs. You'll be late fer school if ya don't hurry!
[10:48] Ginta-Kun
    It's not time yet!
[10:52] Mikako
    Whateva!
[10:53] ---
    Get up!
[10:57] Ginta-Kun (N)
    This is Mikako Nakajima.
[11:00] Ginta-Kun (N)
    She lives next door and she's always poking her nose in my business.
SIGN    [This window is for you]
[11:14] Mikako
    Hurry, hurry! If we're late for school, it'll be yer fault!
[11:21] Mikako
    Ginta, can I ask ya a favor?
[11:24] Ginta-Kun
    What's that?
[11:26] Mikako
    Can ya come and watch my basketball game today?
[11:29] Mikako
    Can you?
[11:31] Ginta-Kun
    If I have time.
[11:32] Mikako
    Really?!
[11:34] ---
    I'm so happy!
[11:35] Ginta-Kun
    Hey, stop it! It's dangerous! Sit back!
[11:49] Girl Student A
    We don't have much time left.
[11:51] Girl Student B
    We made it to the finals, but...
[11:53] Girl Student C
    This is it.
[11:54] Mikako
    All of you, let's not give up!
[11:56] Mikako
    We never give up! Let's play our best!
[11:59] All
    All right!
[12:22] Girls
    Wow! Great! Mikako! We did it!
[12:31] Mikako (M)
    Ginta.
[12:34] Amachi
    Uho...
[12:41] Gintoki
    What! Is that all?!
[12:44] Gintoki
    Hey, stupid gorilla!
[12:45] ---
    Part 1 had a terrible ending! I didn't understand it at all!
[12:49] ---
    That's not a good way to head into the commercials!
[12:51] Amachi
    Uho.
[12:51] Gintoki
    Did everyone see that? The story is too cliche!
[12:55] ---
    We're gonna need something a lot better than that to make it great!
[12:57] Konishi
    Well, how about putting a handwarmer on her chest?
[13:00] Gintoki
    Forget about the snow country!
[13:02] Koishi
    Yes! How about twins?
[13:04] Daito
    But "Gintaman" already had twins who were mediums.
[13:07] Daito
    Their names were Ipa and Nema.
[13:10] Gintoki
    So, what about a set of 48 sisters?
[13:13] Daito
    48?
[13:13] Amachi
    Uho?!
[13:14] Gintoki
    It's very important to have an impact!
[13:15] ---
    Akimoto always does it and it works for him!
[13:18] Daito
    You're straying off the subject.
[13:20] Gintoki
    I don't care! You guys, I want to hear more ideas with impact.
[13:23] Koishi
    How about that heroine who is a divorcee with one kid?
[13:26] Gintoki
    That's good!
[13:27] Daito
    I get really excited about female dentists.
[13:29] Gintoki
    I love it!
[13:31] Koishi
    She cooks fish and is a real family girl.
[13:34] Gintoki
    Sounds great!
[13:35] Konishi
    She's good at mimicking voices.
[13:36] Gintoki
    Wonderful!
[13:37] Daito
    She can't hold her liquor!
[13:37] Gintoki
    Awesome!
[13:38] Koichi
    Her dream is to be a bride!
[13:39] Gintoki
    Cool!
[13:40] Konishi
    She looks pretty!
[13:41] Gintoki
    Great!
[13:42] Daito
    A bus driver!
[13:42] Gintoki
    Swell!
[13:46] Gintoki
    Wow! I'm stuffed to the gills!
[13:49] Gintoki
    We beat these ideas to death! "Gintaman" will be secure! Right, Amachi?
[13:54] Amachi
    U...ho...
[13:56] Konishi
    But to sell a million copies, it'll all depends on how you put it all together.
[13:59] Daito
    No problem. Because there's a character called Amanto.
[14:03] Koishi
    I see. If you get stuck, that's a good excuse to use Amanto!
[14:11] Gintoki
    Then we're going home!
[14:13] Daito
    Good luck, Amachi Sensei.
[14:15] Gintoki
    Okay, let's go somewhere else!
[14:17] Daito
    Let's go to a cabaret club!
[14:18] All
    Great idea!
SIGN    [Odd Jobs Office]
[14:35] Gurako
    Boss! I need to get paid! When can I get my paycheck?
[14:40] Patsuan
    Dondake!
[14:42] Ginta-San
    Be quiet.
[14:44] Gurako
    My stomach and my back will be one and the same soon!
[14:48] Gurako
    Come on! Pay up! Feed me!
[14:51] Patsuan
    Dondake!
[14:53] Ginta-San
    Okay, okay.
[14:55] Ginta-San
    You can take anything here to a pawnshop.
[15:02] Gurako
    What's with all this junk!
[15:04] Gurako
    Even if I take these to the flea market, nobody will buy them.
[15:07] Patsuan
    Dondake!
[15:10] Ginta-San
    This is...
[15:11] Ginta-San
    ...my childhood photo album!
[15:14] Ginta-San
    Oh! That's...
[15:16] Ginta-San
    Mikako Nakajima. She lived next door.
[15:19] Ginta-San
    I bet she's a beautiful woman now.
SIGN    [My best childhood friend.]
SIGN    [MIND YOUR SUGAR LEVELS]
[15:32] Gurako
    You love sweets, don't you boss?
[15:35] Gurako
    Your teeth are gonna rot if you keep eating that stuff.
[15:39] Patsuan
    Dondake!
[15:40] Ginta-San
    Shut up! Leave me alone.
[15:47] Ginta-San
    Ouch! My tooth hurts!
[15:50] Gurako
    See, I told you. I heard a new dentist just opened up nearby.
[15:54] Gurako
    According to rumors, she's really good-looking.
[15:56] Patsuan
    Dondake!
[15:58] Ginta-San
    Ouch.
[16:03] Ginta-San
    Here it is.
[16:05] Mikako
    What are ya doing? Open yer mouth wide.
[16:09] Ginta-San
    Ah...
[16:13] Mikako
    Don't move!
[16:18] Mikako
    Okay, you can rinse yer mouth.
[16:23] Mikako
    Long time, no see, Ginta.
[16:25] Ginta-San
    Huh?!
[16:26] Mikako
    Ya don't recognize me?
[16:27] ---
    It's me!
[16:32] Ginta-San
    You're...Mikako Nakajima?
SIGN    [Bar Olivia]
[16:38] Mikako
    Ya still love sweets, doncha? Just the way ya were.
[16:42] Ginta-San
    I haven't seen you for ten years.
[16:45] Mikako
    Really?
[16:48] Mikako
    But ten years went by in a flash.
[16:53] Mikako
    Give me another.
[16:54] Ginta-San
    Are you sure you can handle all that?
[16:56] Mikako
    Don't worry.
[16:58] Ginta-San
    But what a coincidence that you opened your dental clinic in this town.
[17:02] Mikako
    That's not exactly right. It's not a coincidence.
[17:05] Ginta-San
    What?!
[17:06] Mikako
    In fact, I'm traveling around, looking fer someone.
[17:12] Ginta-San
    Someone?
[17:13] Mikako
    Yeah.
[17:15] ---
    I feel like I'm drunk.
[17:16] Ginta-San
    H-Hey! That's why I asked you.
[17:18] Mikako
    To tell ya the truth, I can't drink.
[17:22] Mikako
    But I can cook fish.
[17:26] Mikako
    And I do good impressions of other people.
[17:28] ---
    Haven't the kids eaten yet?
[17:31] Mikako
    See, did I sound like him?
[17:32] Ginta-San
    Y-Yeah.
[17:34] Mikako
    But I have to go back home soon.
[17:38] Ginta-San
    Back home?
[17:40] Mikako
    I finally found you, but...
[18:15] Mikako
    Ginta!
[18:19] Mikako
    I'm glad you could come!
[18:21] Ginta-San
    I'm here because you asked.
[18:26] Ginta-San
    What? I'm sorry I'm late.
[18:30] Mikako
    Nothing. I'm so happy.
[18:32] ---
    Ginta, you're not cold?
[18:35] Mikako
    Here you go. A handwarmer.
[18:37] Ginta-San
    Thank you.
[18:39] Mikako
    It's time ta say good-bye.
[18:40] Ginta-San
    Yeah...but we'll see each other again.
[18:44] Mikako
    No, we won't.
[18:46] Ginta-San
    What?
[18:57] Mikako
    Then...
[18:59] Ginta-San
    What do you mean we won't see each other again?
[19:02] Mikako
    I...came because I wanted to see you.
[19:06] Mikako
    I liked you.
[19:11] Mikako
    Take this.
[19:17] Mikako
    Take care of yourself.
[19:35] ---
    Can I come with you?
[19:41] Mikako
    Come this way, Ginta! I have someone ta introduce ya to!
[19:43] Ginta-San
    Someone?
[19:45] Mikako
    This is my twin sister,
[19:46] ---
    Mitsuko!
[19:48] Ginta-San
    Tw-Twins?!
[19:49] Hiroshi
    Mom!
[19:51] Ginta-San
    Mom?!
[19:51] Hiroshi
    Where have you been?
[19:53] Mikako
    I'm sorry, Hiroshi. I didn't mean to leave ya alone.
[19:56] Ginta-San
    Hiroshi?!
[19:57] Mikako
    I'm a divorcee.
[19:59] Ginta-San
    A divorcee?!
[20:01] Ginta-San
    Ah!
[20:03] ---
    Why is this train flying in space?!
[20:07] Mikako
    I'm an Amanto from the Planet of the Giant Boobs.
[20:11] ---
    I came to Earth in order to find my best childhood friend.
[20:15] Ginta-San
    What?!
[20:16] Mikako
    It's time for the final battle!
[20:18] Mikako
    Oh!
[20:20] Mikako
    It's either them or us.
[20:22] Mikako
    There can be only one winner!
[20:24] ---
    Let's settle this once and for all!
[20:26] All
    Oh!
[20:27] Ginta-San
    Um...
[20:28] Mikako
    Yes?
[20:29] Ginta-San
    Who are they?
[20:30] Mikako
    We're from the Planet of the Giant Boobs
[20:33] ---
    And they're from Planet Flat Chest. We're sister planets!
[20:35] Ginta-San
    Planet Flat Chest?!
[21:00] Mikako
    Go!
[21:24] Mikako
    Mikako, here!
[21:29] Mikako (Blue)
    Bring it on!
[21:52] Mikako
    Then, this is the final attack!
[22:11] Ginta-San (N)
    Once again, Ginta brings peace to the universe.
[22:17] Ginta-San (N)
    Thank you, Ginta. Good-bye, "Gintaman."
[22:33] Gintoki
    Whatever...
SIGN    
SIGN    [Ugyaaaaaaaaaah!!]
SIGN    [Too late!!]
SIGN    [See you again next time!]