E14 - You Only Gotta Wash Under Your Armpits - Just the Armpits

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Gintoki
    Okay, this week's Gin is in three parts like that popular nationally known anime.
SIGN    [Today's episode is three parts like that popular nationally known anime.]
SIGN    [Now enjoy the commercials our sponsors have prepared for you!]
[01:49] Kondo
    I think all of you already know this,
[01:52] Kondo
    but yesterday a ship belonging to the Harusame outer space pirates was sunk.
[01:56] Kondo
    And-now listen up, you jackasses-
[01:59] Kondo
    that ship was apparently destroyed by just two samurai.
[02:05] ---
    Surprised? Nobody's even listening!
[02:08] Kondo
    Toshi...
[02:16] Hijikatakondo
    I think you already know,
[02:20] Hijikatakondo
    but yesterday a ship belonging to the Harusame outer space pirates was sunk.
[02:24] Kondo
    And-act surprised when you hear this, guys-
[02:27] Kondo
    that ship was apparently destroyed by just two samurai.
[02:31] Members
    What?! Really?!
[02:34] Hijikata
    You guys are so phony. Act more sincere or I'll...
[02:38] Kondo
    Toshi, forget it. Otherwise we'll never get finished.
[02:40] Kondo
    We have reports that one of the two was Katsura of the Anti-Alien Rebel Faction.
[02:46] ---
    He's about the only guy who could pull off a stunt like this.
[02:50] Kondo
    The Harusame were smuggling large quantities of illegal drugs into Edo and selling them.
[02:55] ---
    Even if you take the anti-Amanto out of the equation,
[02:56] ---
    I understand how they couldn't forgive the pirates.
[02:58] Kondo
    But the real problem, starts here.
[03:01] Kondo
    Rumor has it that a Shogunate officer was involved in the drug ring.
[03:07] Kondo
    In return for his cooperation,
[03:11] Kondo
    he received a taste of the profits.
[03:15] Hijikatakondo
    The authenticity of this information is uncertain,
[03:18] Hijikatakondo
    but the anti-Amanto ronin scattered throughout Edo have picked up on these rumors
[03:21] Hijikatakondo
    and are planning assassinations. They are saying the scoundrels should be killed.
[03:25] Kondo
    That's where we come in!
SIGN    
[03:34] Hijikata
    You bastard...
[03:36] Hiijikata
    Even when you're asleep your face pisses me off.
[03:39] Hijikata
    Hey, wake up jerk! What kind of retard sleeps on guard duty?!
[03:44] Okita
    Give me a break, Mom... Today's Sunday. Yer such a moron!
[03:50] Hijikata
    Today is Tuesday!
[03:51] Hijikata
    You nitwit... What if the Anti-Alien Rebel Faction stormed this place while you were goofing off?!
[03:56] Hijikata
    Stop treating your work with such contempt.
[03:57] Okita
    When did I ever treat work with contempt?
[04:00] Okita
    I'm treating you with contempt, Hijikata!
[04:02] Hijikata
    Fine! We'll fight right now-draw your sword!
[04:07] Kondo
    Why're you playing around on duty?!
[04:09] ---
    What do you think this is?! Some kind of school excursion?!
[04:12] ---
    Would you care to have pillow fight, little girls?!
[04:15] Toad Alien (Kinya)
    You're the loudest of them all!
[04:18] ---
    I'm nervous enough without all this racket!
[04:20] Kondo
    We're sorry.
[04:22] Toad Alien
    Good grief, you filthy apes are totally incompetent.
[04:25] Okita
    What's with that guy? We're the ones putting our lives on the line to guard him!
[04:30] Hijikata
    You were asleep.
[04:32] Okita
    He may be some big shot in the Shogunate official, but why do we have to protect that toad?
[04:38] Kondo
    Sogo, we're lucky the Shogunate picked us up.
[04:42] Kondo
    We wouldn't be here if it weren't for the Shogunate.
[04:45] Kondo
    It is a samurai's cherished ambition to repay a debt with loyalty!
[04:48] ---
    The swords of the Shinsengumi exist to protect the Shogunate!
[04:52] Okita
    But they might be in cahoots with the pirates.
[04:55] ---
    I just can't get enthusiastic about this job. Don't you agree, Hijikata?
[04:58] Hijikata
    I'm always enthusiastic.
[05:00] Okita
    Look at them. They've all lost interest.
[05:04] ---
    Check out Yamazaki - he's playing freakin' badminton!
[05:07] Hijikata
    Yamazaki!
[05:08] ---
    What're you doing, you nimrod?!
[05:12] Yamazakikondo
    Sogo, stop thinking so much about it.
[05:16] Hijikatakondo
    If the life of a guy in front of you is in danger,
[05:19] Hijikatakondo
    whether he's a good guy or not, you gotta give him a hand.
[05:23] Kondo
    That's the way a man should live his life.
[05:29] Okitakondokondo
    Just a minute!
[05:31] Kondo
    Please don't go out on your own!
[05:33] ---
    Wait!
[05:35] Okita
    That guy's such a wimp, letting people walk all over him.
[05:38] Kondo
    Wait, Kinya! It's too dangerous. I'm telling you!
[05:41] Toad Alien
    Enough! I'm sick of living cooped up in here!
[05:44] Kondo
    Your life is in danger. Do you understand?
[05:47] Toad Alien
    What's the difference when apes like you are guarding me!
[05:53] Kondokondo
    We may be apes but we're apes with the steely souls of Bushido!
[05:58] Kondokondo
    Don't underestimate us!
[05:59] Toad Alien
    What're you talking about? You're nothing but a country bumpkin samurai!
[06:03] Toad Alien
    Ribbit! Curse you, Daraku! This wouldn't have happened if he hadn't screwed up.
[06:08] Kondo
    Huh? Rakuda?
[06:13] Kondokondo
    Look out!
[06:15] Member
    Chief!
[06:20] Hijikata
    Yamazaki!
[06:21] ---
    On it!
[06:21] Okita
    Kondo! Hang on!
[06:24] Toad Alien
    Hmph. Even an ape is useful as a primate shield.
[06:32] Okitaokitahijikata
    Don't do it.
[06:34] ---
    Your pupils are dilated.
[06:42] Okitayamazaki
    The sniper belonged to the Anti-Amanto ronin group known as the "Back to the Stars Faction."
[06:46] ---
    They're separate from Katsura's group, but they're no less radical.
[06:51] Hijikata
    Is that so?
[06:52] ---
    I'm responsible for what happens this time.
[06:54] ---
    I handled everything foolishly from the chain of command to the positioning of my officers.
[06:59] Hijikata
    I'll have to start over again.
[07:01] Harada
    Vice-chief!
[07:03] Harada
    He treated you like that, and you still want to protect him?!
[07:07] Harada
    The bastard thinks humans are nothing but trash.
[07:10] ---
    He doesn't even care about Kondo, who took the bullet for him.
[07:14] Yamazaki
    Vice-chief, I know you didn't order it, but I took a look around the villa.
[07:18] ---
    A mess of drugs turned up in the warehouse...
[07:21] Yamazaki
    Without a doubt, he's guilty.
[07:24] Hijikatayamazaki
    To be protecting a guy like that...
[07:26] ---
    What on earth has the Shogunate come to?
[07:29] Hijikata
    Hmph... A bit late for that.
[07:32] Squadhijikata
    The Shogunate doesn't even serve humanity now.
[07:36] Squadhijikata
    We knew that a long time ago.
[07:39] Hijikata
    So why do you lend your sword?
[07:41] Hijikata
    Is it to protect the Shogunate?
[07:43] ---
    Is it to protect the Shogun?
[07:46] Hijikata
    Not me...
[07:48] ---
    Do you remember how it used to be?
[07:51] Hijikata
    Remember those days when we were like thugs.
[07:53] Hijikata
    Uneducated rogues who knew nothing but how to swing a sword?
[07:56] ---
    Who was it that welcomed us into a special dojo?
[08:01] Yamazaki/Squadhijikata
    Who was it that refused to forsake us even after the order to outlaw swords was issued?
[08:05] Yamazaki/Squadhijikata
    After we lost our dojo and were stripped of our swords?
[08:10] Squadhijikata
    Who was it who gave us back our swords?
[08:14] Hijikata
    It wasn't the Shogunate, and it wasn't the Shogun.
[08:17] Hijikata
    He's been our only boss since then.
[08:20] ---
    The boss says to protect this frog...then that's all there is to it.
[08:23] Hijikata
    I'll protect him, no matter what he is.
[08:27] Hijikata
    If you don't like that, then go home. I won't stop you.
[08:41] Hijikataokitahijikata
    What're you doing?! Hey!
[08:44] Okita
    Don't worry. He isn't dead.
[08:46] Okita
    I mean, we just have to protect him, right?
[08:48] Toad Alienokita
    This way, we'll smoke the enemy out into the open...and then we'll wipe 'em out!
[08:51] Toad Alienokita
    I'm being proactive.
[08:52] Toad Alien
    Rogues! Don't think you can get away with this!
[08:56] Okita
    Hijikata, I feel the same way you do. I'm here because I like Kondo.
[09:03] Okita
    But he's just too much of a nice guy.
[09:06] ---
    He can see what's good in people but he doesn't try to see the bad.
[09:13] Okita
    With wicked thugs like you and me, Hijikata,
[09:17] Okita
    the Shinsengumi has just the right balance.
[09:22] Hijikata
    Ahh, it's going to be cold tonight.
[09:26] Okitahijikata
    Throw another log on the fire, Sogo.
[09:29] Okita
    Yes, sir!
[09:35] Toad Alientoad Alientoad Aliensamurai
    Prepare for your reckoning!
[09:36] Samurai
    Scoundrel!
[09:38] ---
    We've come to slay you!
[09:39] Samurai
    Out of our way, Shogunate dogs!
[09:41] ---
    Do you think you samurai wannabes can defeat a true samurai?!
[09:46] Okita
    See? My plan is flawless.
[09:47] Hijikata
    Lets kick the crap out of them!
[09:49] Kondo
    You guys are so quick to jump into a fight.
[09:52] Okita/Hijikatakondo
    Don't let Toshi and Sogo have all the fun!
[09:54] Kondo
    Protect the stupid toad!
[09:59] Hijikata/Okitahijikata
    Let's go!
[10:04] Kagura
    "The Shinsengumi showed their mettle by arresting anti-Amanto ronin en masse."
[10:08] Kagura
    "Shock at Shogunate VIP's collusion with crime syndicate..."
[10:14] ---
    Gin...
[10:15] Gintoki
    Huh?
[10:16] Kagura
    What's "collision" mean?
[10:22] Gintokikagura
    Hey, don't play dumb, perm boy!
SIGN    ["You Only Gotta Wash Under Your Armpits - Just the Armpits"]
[10:34] Yo
    You're an unfamiliar face. Where're you from?
[10:38] Ken
    This park belongs to Yo... Emperor of Kabukicho!
[10:44] ---
    If you wanna play here, you had better cough up three Dokkiti-man chocolate stickers, girlie!
[10:49] Princess Soyo
    What's that? "Dorky-man"?
[10:51] ---
    Is that what's popular outside the castle walls?
[10:54] Yo
    Not "Dorky," "Dokkiri"! No, wait, maybe it's "Gessori"...
[10:59] Ken
    No, Yo, it's "Batsu and Terri".
[11:02] Kagura
    No, you're mistaken.
[11:04] Yo/Kenkagura
    You're thinking of "Gory-man."
[11:10] Yo
    It bit me!
[11:12] Ken
    Y...You...
[11:13] Kagura
    The swings around here belong to me, Kagura, Queen of Kabukicho.
[11:18] ---
    If you want to ride them, it'll cost you a year's supply of pickled seaweed, okay?
[11:22] Yo
    A year's supply? I don't even know how much you eat in one day!
[11:26] Ken
    Damn you! We won't forget this!
[11:28] Ken
    We won't forget this!
[11:29] Kagura
    Hmph. Small fry.
[11:30] Princess Soyo
    You saved me, Queen of Kabukicho.
[11:36] Princess Soyo
    Thank you very much.
[11:38] Kagura
    Don't mention it.
[11:40] Kagura
    More importantly, you'd better not come around here anymore.
[11:43] ---
    This is the most dangerous part of Edo.
[11:46] Princess Soyo
    Please wait.
[11:49] Kaguraprincess Soyo
    What's...that you're eating?
[11:55] Kaguraprincess Soyo
    What's is this?! It's so sour!
[11:58] Princess Soyo
    Even more sour than my manny's underarms!
[12:00] Kagura
    You get hooked on the flavor.
[12:02] Kagura
    You'll be addicted to your manny's underarms soon too!
[12:05] Princess Soyo
    I will not! That's gross!
[12:07] Princess Soyo
    So people beyond the castle walls eat this sort of thing.
[12:12] ---
    This is all new to me.
[12:14] Kagura
    You're not from around here, are you, miss?
[12:16] ---
    Gin and all the losers who live here reek of poverty, but you smell nice, miss.
[12:21] Princess Soyo
    You're correct. I came from over there.
[12:24] Kagura
    Oh, that's a huge mansion.
[12:27] ---
    Gin told me once, that the most important samurai in the land used to live there.
[12:32] Kagura
    But, after the Amanto came,
[12:35] Kagura
    it's become nothing more than window dressing.
[12:37] Kagura
    Now it's just where the most pathetic samurai live.
[12:41] Princess Soyo
    Yes, that's right. No one in this country honors that castle anymore.
[12:46] ---
    It's an artificial castle that exists only for show.
[12:48] ---
    A mirage. I wish it would just collapse.
[12:51] ---
    Then I would be free...
[12:54] Kagura
    Miss, is something troubling you?
[12:57] ---
    I'll listen to your pathetic tales of woe.
[12:59] ---
    Jack-of-all-trades Kagura-that's me!
[13:03] Princess Soyo
    You have so many different names.
[13:06] ---
    Hmm...something that's troubling me...
[13:08] Princess Soyo
    Right.
[13:12] Princess Soyo
    Will you be my friend for one day today?
[13:17] Hijikata
    Man, it's hot.
[13:20] Hijikata
    Why do our uniforms have to be so thick and heavy?
[13:23] Hijikata
    Everyone's wearing lightweight clothes but us!
[13:27] Hijikata
    And to boot, we have to go hunt someone down in this heat!
[13:30] ---
    Give me a freakin' break!
[13:33] Okita
    If you're that hot, I'll make you a summer uniform, Hijikata...
[13:41] Hiikatahijikataokita
    That was close! Stop squirming, it's dangerous.
[13:45] Hijikata
    You're the one who's dangerous! What's the big idea?!
[13:48] Okita
    What's with you? I was about to make your uniform sleeveless.
[13:52] Hijikata
    Don't give me that! You were trying to cut off my arms!
[13:56] Okita
    Actually, I'm marketing the summer uniforms I proposed.
[14:01] ---
    How 'bout it, Hijikata?
[14:03] ---
    You'll look like a rocker.
[14:04] Hijikata
    Only a moron would wear something like that!
[14:08] Kondo
    Hey, how's the search going?
[14:16] Hijikatakondo
    Finding underground terrorists is my specialty, but finding her is another story.
[14:23] Hijikata
    What was the princess thinking running away from home like that?
[14:26] Hijikata
    Rich, fancy people have a different set of worries.
[14:30] ---
    Though I can't imagine what troubles a princess might have.
[14:33] Kondo
    Even so, she's still a young woman of a delicate age.
[14:37] ---
    You know... Maybe her pop's been giving her horny looks,
[14:40] ---
    or he had bad body odor. It could be all sorts of things.
[14:42] Hijikata
    So it's all about her father, is it?
[14:44] Okita
    It's impossible to cover every street in Edo using regular methods.
[14:48] ---
    Why don't we just throw a party and invite the princess?
[14:52] Hijikata
    Only you would fall for a trap that sounds straight out of a Japanese folktale!
[14:56] Yamazaki
    Chief!
[14:58] Kondo
    What is it, Yamazaki?
[15:00] Yamazaki
    We have a sighting!
[15:01] Hijikatayamazaki
    The princess was spotted heading toward Kabukicho.
[15:04] Hijikata
    Kabukicho?
[15:06] Hijikata
    Of all the annoying places...
[15:09] Casino Head
    Okay, place your bets! Even or odd?!
[15:13] Gambler A
    Odd!
[15:13] Gambler B
    Odd for me, too!
[15:14] Kagura
    Even!
[15:15] Priincess Soyo
    Then, I'll take even.
[15:17] Gambler C
    Odd!
[15:18] Gambler D
    Even!
[15:19] Casino Head
    The bets are down! Snake-eyes. Even!
[15:23] Gambler A
    Lost again!
[15:25] Gambler C
    This ain't good. I can't go home now!
[15:45] Princess Soyo
    You're awesome! You're younger than me, yet you know so much.
[15:52] Kagura
    I suppose I do.
[15:54] ---
    All that's left is to go have a drink and stay out till morning. That's what the kids do.
[15:59] ---
    Though, of course, everything I know, I heard from Gin.
[16:03] Princess Soyo
    Your Highness is so lucky. You're so free.
[16:06] Princess Soyo
    I hardly ever left the castle,
[16:09] Princess Soyo
    so I don't have friends and I don't know anything about the outside world.
[16:13] Princess Soyo
    All I can do
[16:15] Princess Soyo
    is gaze out at the distant city and use my imagination,
[16:19] Princess Soyo
    wishing I could skip along without a care in the world and go out,
[16:23] ---
    free to play.
[16:26] Princess Soyo
    Live freely.
[16:29] Princess Soyo
    Once I started thinking like that, before I knew it, I had to run away from the castle.
[16:36] Princess Soyo
    But from the very start, I decided that it would be for only one day.
[16:40] Princess Soyo
    If I were to vanish, it would cause grief for so many people.
[16:44] Hijikata
    You're exactly right.
[16:47] Hijikata
    So let's go back.
[16:58] Kaguraprincess Soyoprincess Soyohijikata
    What are you doing?!
[17:04] Hijikatahijikata
    Hey, wait!
[17:05] Hijikata
    Get them!
[17:15] Squad Member Ckagura
    Out of our way!
[17:20] Yamazaki
    She leapt onto the roof carrying the princess!
[17:25] Squad Member D
    Who is she?!
[17:27] Kondo
    Isn't she that Hercules girl from the Odd Jobs place?
[17:30] ---
    Why's she with the princess?
[17:32] Okita
    Beats me.
[17:32] Kondo
    Hey! Sogo! What're you doing, taking out the heavy artillery?!
[17:36] Okita
    I don't like taking roundabout methods.
[17:38] Kondo
    Wait! What if you hit the princess?!
[17:42] Okita
    I won't make that mistake.
[17:43] ---
    It's always been my dream to one day be known as the "Sniper."
[17:47] Kondo
    Hey!
[17:48] ---
    You're saying you just aspire to be a good shot?
[17:50] Okita
    A man can realize his strength better
[17:51] Okita
    when he's chasing his dream than after he's caught it.
[17:54] Kondo
    No!
[17:55] Hijikata
    Hey! Come on out!
[17:56] ---
    I don't know how you became acquainted with Soyo, but she's very important to this country.
[18:02] Hijikata
    If you cause us any more trouble, I'll have to arrest you, too.
[18:06] Hijikata
    Are you listening to me?!
[18:09] Kaguraprincess Soyo
    Your Highness, you've done enough. I'll go home.
[18:13] Kagura
    Why? Don't you wanna be free?
[18:15] ---
    I'll free you.
[18:18] Princess Soyo
    I want to be free...
[18:20] Princess Soyo
    but I don't wish to cause Your Highness any more trouble.
[18:23] Kagura
    You're no trouble.
[18:24] ---
    We made a promise: to be friends all day today.
[18:27] Kagura
    I don't need a reason to help a friend.
[18:30] ---
    That's the spirit of Edo.
[18:32] Kagura
    I've still for a lot of fun things to teach you!
[18:37] Princess Soyo
    That's right, we're friends.
[18:41] Princess Soyo
    But,
[18:44] Princess Soyo
    that's exactly why I don't want to cause you trouble.
[18:49] Kaguraprincess Soyo
    Thank you ever so much for your kindness, Your Highness.
[18:53] ---
    Although it was only for half a day, I felt as though I was just a regular girl.
[18:57] ---
    It made me very happy.
[19:01] Princess Soyo
    Farewell.
[19:04] Kagura
    Wait! That's not fair!
[19:06] Kagura
    You made a promise yourself, and now you're just going to break it?!
[19:10] ---
    I want to play with you some more!
[19:11] ---
    I wanna be friends with you, Soyo!
[19:14] ---
    This isn't fair!
[19:15] Princess Soyo
    Yes, I am being unfair.
[19:18] ---
    That's why I have one last unfair favor to ask.
[19:23] Princess Soyo
    I said "one day,"
[19:26] Princess Soyo
    but I want you to be my friend forever, okay?
[19:38] Kaguraketsuno Announcer
    Why're you eating pickled seaweed?
[19:41] Kid
    Huh? Because the princess was eating it and she said it tastes good!
[19:45] Ketsuno Announcer
    Princess Soyo, the Shogun's younger sister,
[19:49] Ketsuno Announcer
    is widely associated with the unprecedented pickled seaweed boom.
[19:53] Ketsuno Announcer
    The princess was seen observed at a recent poetry gathering
[19:55] Ketsuno Announcer
    chewing on a stick of seaweed...
[19:58] Shinpachi
    Wow.
[20:00] ---
    A princess who likes pickled seaweed...
[20:02] Gintoki
    Silly! It's got to be a scam.
[20:05] ---
    They just do that kind of thing to pretend to be like us common folk.
[20:09] ---
    They probably feast on fois gras all day at the castle.
[20:12] ---
    I bet they even put sushi on top of their sushi!
[20:16] ---
    Look, there's your real pickled seaweed girl.
[20:21] Gintoki
    See how her sleeping face just reeks of poverty.
[20:24] Gintoki
    Now that's the real thing.
SIGN    [The Queen and Princess of Kabukicho]
SIGN    [Another Day of Cooking]
[20:41] Gintoki
    Good afternoon, and welcome to "Another Day of Cooking."
[20:45] Otae
    Today's menu is rice omelet.
[20:47] ---
    It's a dish that excites kids both big and small, isn't that right, Sensei?
[20:52] Gintoki
    Well, I hate kids, or should I say, why should I have to cook for someone else?
[20:58] Otae
    Stop babbling needlessly and get started. Okay, Sensei?
[21:02] Gintoki
    Shinpachi, Kagura, let's put our spirits into this!
[21:04] Kagura
    Yeah!
[21:06] Otae
    We'll begin by making chicken rice.
[21:08] ---
    Sensei, what shall we do first?
[21:11] Gintoki
    Kagura, dice the vegetables into small pieces.
[21:13] Kagura
    Roger that!
[21:21] Shinpachi
    Hey! Why're you destroying the entire kitchen!
[21:23] Kagura
    One kitchen, finely diced.
[21:25] Gintoki
    Man, you're hopeless.
[21:26] ---
    This is how you cut vegetables.
[21:29] Gintoki
    Watch.
[21:34] Gintoki
    Just like that.
[21:36] Shinpachi
    Come on! You can't cut an onion with a wooden sword!
[21:39] Gintoki
    It takes spirit. Spirit!
[21:40] ---
    If you've got spirit you can julienne, shave fine sheets, or anything.
[21:45] Otae
    Excuse me, Sensei.
[21:46] Otae
    You've been tossing in the ingredients at random.
[21:50] Otae
    Could you at least tell us the amounts?
[21:53] Gintoki
    Oh, it doesn't matter. Don't worry about it.
[21:55] Gintoki
    Whatever you feel like.
[21:56] Otae
    But this is a cooking show, so you can't just say anything.
[22:02] Gintoki
    Ballpark amounts are the fundamentals of men's cooking.
[22:05] Gintoki
    If you just do what you feel like...
[22:09] Otae
    We have cold Chinese noodles with toppings.
[22:12] Shinpachi
    When did you put in noodles?!
[22:16] Otae
    The ingredients have been cooked until tender.
[22:19] ---
    Isn't it about time for the rice?
[22:21] Kagurashinpachi
    Hey! We haven't finished the dish yet!
[22:24] Kagurashinpachi
    You're not supposed to eat that!
[22:26] Kagura
    Can I have seconds?
[22:28] Shinpachi
    We're ruined.
[22:29] Gintoki
    Hey, hey, what're we going to do?
[22:31] ---
    We don't have any extra rice at home.
[22:34] Otae
    I thought something like this might happen, so I prepared some rice omelet.
[22:41] Shinpachi
    You don't think...
[22:42] Gintama
    It better not be those poor, innocent, abused eggs.
[22:51] Gintoki/Shinpachi/Kaguragintoki
    It's art, after all.
[22:52] Kagura
    Will we die if we don't eat it?
[22:55] Otae
    Well, bon appétit.
SIGN    
[23:01] Gintoki
    A "Weird Cosmic Pet Grand Prix."
[23:03] ---
    We have one at home, too!
[23:05] ---
    All right! We'll win the grand prize with Sadaharu!
[23:08] ---
    Zura! What're you doing here?!
[23:10] ---
    What's that thing?! It's gross!
[23:11] Gintoki
    The next episode: "Pets Resemble Their Owners."
SIGN    [Here's a preview of the new ending!]
[23:15] ---
    There's a new ending after this.
SIGN    [Katsura's pet "Elizabeth" takes on our Sadaharu.]
SIGN    [Which one will win the battle between space creatures?!]