E165 - If It Works Once, It'll Work Over And Over Again

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    [You never thought the day would come...]
SIGN    [Live-Action GinTama!]
SIGN    [Up next!!]
[00:28] Gintoki
    Man...
[00:29] Gintoki
    After making it to our fourth year,
[00:32] Gintoki
    I've gotten to the point where I want to
    throw up every week in April, y'know?
SIGN    [Note: One cours refers to three months of scheduling. In practice, 13 episodes.]
[00:35] Gintoki
    Next thing I know,
    one cours is up and done.
[00:37] Kagura
    We managed to continue on despite
    all the pain and suffering.
[00:42] Kagura
    We had to walk home from the station
    while holding in a big one,
[00:46] Kagura
    but we somehow managed to make
    it out of the shopping district.
[00:48] Gintoki
    But y'know...
[00:49] Gintoki
    It's a long ways getting home
    from the shopping district.
[00:52] Gintoki
    I wanted to give up when
    we passed by the park.
[00:54] Gintoki
    The whole "Just use a public bathroom"
    idea started to sound pretty tempting.
[00:59] Gintoki
    Oh, not that there's anything wrong
    with using a public bathroom.
[01:02] Gintoki
    But it's all about overcoming the temptation
    and reaching the washlet bathroom at home.
[01:07] Gintoki
    Right, Shinpachi?
[01:08] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[01:10] Shinpachi
    Gin-san? Is that Gin-san?
[01:12] Gintoki
    That's right.
[01:13] Gintoki
    It's Gin-san.
[01:14] Shinpachi
    Uh, what is this?
[01:15] Gintoki
    What do you mean?
[01:17] Gintoki
    This is GinTama.
[01:18] Kagura
    Same GinTama time. Same GinTama channel.
    The same old GinTama.
[01:22] Shinpachi
    Uh, doesn't this seem a little different?
[01:25] Shinpachi
    Oh, is this live-action?!
[01:27] Shinpachi
    When did GinTama turn
    into a live-action show?!
[01:34] Shinpachi
    What?! They're mannequins?!
[01:36] Gintoki
    Ah, I thought someone told you.
[01:37] Gintoki
    We're going to become an anime
    that transcends anime.
[01:40] Gintoki
    Starting this week, we'll be showing
    "Live-action GinTama Revolution:
[01:43] Gintoki
    Love will save Hollywood."
SIGN    [Note: Parody of the movie "Dragon Ball Evolution."]
[01:46] Shinpachi
    We are not!
[01:47] Shinpachi
    This will leave Shueisha in Titanic status!
SIGN    [Note: Parody of the movie "Titanic."]
[01:50] Kagura
    A surreal world anime with thirty
    minutes of talking mannequins.
[01:55] Kagura
    "Oh! Gintamikey."
SIGN    [Note: Parody of mannequin comedy show "Oh Mikey!" aka "The Fuccons."]
[01:57] Shinpachi
    No, this can't be considered
    anime anymore.
[01:59] Shinpachi
    These are just still-frame photos!
[02:01] Gintoki
    Well, this is basically what happened.
[02:03] Gintoki
    We tried a number of different detours
    and then someone said
[02:06] Gintoki
    "Ah, that's right. We haven't
    tried doing live-action yet."
[02:08] Gintoki
    So we're doing this on
    the whim of the staff.
[02:11] Gintoki
    Got it, Shinpachi?
[02:12] Kagura
    Seriously?
[02:13] Kagura
    I was expecting 20th Century
    Box to show up behind us.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of 20th Century Fox.]
[02:18] Kagura
    Right, Shinpachi?
[02:19] Shinpachi
    Geez, why do you purposely
    take these risks?
[02:22] Shinpachi
    It's pretty damn scary.
[02:23] Gintoki
    You're such a spoilsport, Shinpachi.
[02:26] Kagura
    That's why you can never
    stop being Shinpachi.
[02:29] Kagura
    Learn your lesson already, Shinpachi.
[02:31] Shinpachi
    Uh, what's that even supposed to mean?
[02:34] Shinpachi
    And why am I just a pair of glasses?!
[02:39] Gintoki
    Okay, it's starting to rain,
[02:42] Gintoki
    so we'll move indoors.
[02:44] Shinpachi
    This show is pretty damn random.
[02:46] Kagura
    We're going to visit Sunrise's fifth studio
    where they make the GinTama anime.
[02:52] Gintoki
    Excuse us, murder license.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of manga "Murder License Kiba". Shueisha title serialized in Super Jump.]
[02:54] Shinpachi
    Oh. This is where they make
    the GinTama anime.
[02:58] Kagura
    Looks like a dirty place.
[03:01] Gintoki
    This is what is known as the
    modern-day sweatshop.
[03:03] Shinpachi
    No, it isn't!
[03:04] Shinpachi
    Don't ruin their reputation!
[03:05] Shinpachi
    What if everybody believes you?!
[03:07] Gintoki
    There isn't much difference.
[03:08] Gintoki
    This is a modern-day sweatshop.
[03:09] Gintoki
    Cancer Beam!
SIGN    [Note: Parody of GUNDAM W. anime created by Sunrise.]
[03:12] Shinpachi
    There's no cancer or
    beam involved here.
[03:13] Shinpachi
    The boss is going to be pissed at you!
[03:16] Shinpachi
    Uh, Kagura-chan?
[03:18] Shinpachi
    What's with the horns on your head?
[03:19] Kagura
    They're antennas.
[03:20] Kagura
    Starting today, I'm the digital conversion
    mascot, Digi-Kagura.
SIGN    
[03:27] Shinpachi
    That's a complete rip-off!
[03:28] Gintoki
    Okay. Then I'll pitch in.
[03:32] Shinpachi
    Don't take your clothes off!
[03:33] Shinpachi
    What the hell is this scene?!
[03:34] Shinpachi
    This is nowhere near acceptable
    for showing on TV!
[03:36] Gintoki
    Then we'll move on to today's main topic.
[03:39] Gintoki
    All analog broadcasting will end in July of
    2011 and switch to digital broadcasting.
[03:47] Gintoki
    After that, analog televisions without a digital
    tuner will be unable to receive a signal.
[03:53] Kagura
    There you have it.
[03:54] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[03:55] Shinpachi
    That's it?
[03:57] Shinpachi
    This was just another digital
    TV ad, wasn't it?
[04:11] Gintoki
    Why do I have to catch
    a cold this time of year?
[04:14] Gintoki
    I'm completely out of sync
    with the rest of the world.
[04:18] Gintoki
    Is my body in 15 no Yoru or what?
SIGN    [Note: "15 no Yoru" (Night at 15) is a Yutaka Ozaki song.]
[04:21] Gintoki
    I feel like I'm racing along
    on a stolen motorcycle.
SIGN    [Note: A lyric from "15 no Yoru"(Night at 15). A song about an unruly teenager"s life.]
[04:23] Shinpachi
    Hello.
[04:25] Shinpachi
    Are you okay, Gin-san?
[04:28] Shinpachi
    Honestly...
[04:29] Shinpachi
    How could you catch a
    cold this time of year?
[04:32] Gintoki
    Hell if I know.
[04:34] Gintoki
    My body went off and picked up some hitchhiking
    germs from who knows where.
[04:39] Gintoki
    Y'know?
[04:41] Gintoki
    Since my body's all kind and considerate.
[04:43] Shinpachi
    Don't let that hitchhiking
    germ spread to me.
[04:47] Shinpachi
    In any case, a cold in this
    season can be a real pain.
[04:50] Shinpachi
    You have to take good care of
    yourself or you won't get better.
[04:53] Kagura
    Gin-chan.
[04:54] Kagura
    I made some rice porridge.
[05:00] Kagura
    Eat this and get better soon.
[05:02] Shinpachi
    No, he's going to be feeling a different
    kind of sick if he eats all that.
[05:05] Shinpachi
    That isn't even a normal portion size.
[05:08] Kagura
    Guess I have no choice then.
[05:10] Kagura
    I'll help out.
[05:13] Shinpachi
    Are you sure you don't just
    want to eat it yourself?!
[05:16] Gintoki
    This just sucks.
[05:18] Gintoki
    I feel so crappy that I don't
    even care anymore.
[05:21] Shinpachi
    How can you say that after a little cold?
[05:24] Shinpachi
    Think back.
[05:26] Shinpachi
    That newtype influenza was much worse.
[05:29] Gintoki
    Influenza?
[05:31] Shinpachi
    That's right.
[05:33] Shinpachi
    This cold is nothing compared to that.
[05:36] Shinpachi
    Yes... Compared to that...
SIGN    ["If It Works Once, It'll Work Over and Over Again"]
SIGN    [Winter]
[07:22] N
    The current outbreak of influenza in Edo
[07:26] N
    is believed to be a newtype
    virus from Planet Onishi.
SIGN    [Note: Onishi was the first GinTama manga editor.]
[07:30] N
    We expect the outbreak to
    get extensively worse.
[07:33] N
    Everyone please take care of yourselves.
[07:44] Shinpachi
    Sis, I'm coming in.
[07:46] Otae
    Yes...
[07:49] Shinpachi
    It's starting to snow.
[07:51] Shinpachi
    We'll probably have some accumulation.
[07:52] Shinpachi
    Are you okay, Sis?
[07:54] Shinpachi
    Let me know if you're cold.
[07:55] Shinpachi
    I made some rice porridge.
[07:57] Shinpachi
    Eat plenty so you get better soon.
[08:00] Otae
    Th-Thanks, Shin-chan.
[08:05] Otae
    I'll be fine now,
[08:07] Otae
    so go to work.
[08:09] Shinpachi
    Ah, it's fine.
[08:11] Shinpachi
    I just called and he was like,
[08:13] Shinpachi
    "You're probably infected already so
    don't bother coming, you sicko."
[08:17] Otae
    Honestly, that Gin-san...
[08:19] Otae
    It's so terrible of him to call you a sicko.
[08:23] Otae
    They were probably trying
    to be considerate.
[08:26] Shinpachi
    That's not possible.
[08:28] Shinpachi
    There probably isn't any work.
[08:29] Shinpachi
    I'll take the day off.
[08:31] Shinpachi
    I also let "Hostess Club Smile" know
    that you'd be taking the day off.
[08:34] Shinpachi
    I can look after you the entire day.
[08:37] Otae
    But it would be terrible
    if you caught my cold.
[08:42] Shinpachi
    Don't worry.
[08:44] Shinpachi
    It's my turn to take care of you.
[08:47] Otae
    You look kind of happy.
[08:49] Shinpachi
    Ah, uh... Sorry.
[08:52] Shinpachi
    That's not it.
[08:54] Shinpachi
    I'm sorry.
[08:56] Shinpachi
    It's disrespectful to feel this
    way when you're suffering.
[08:59] Shinpachi
    It's just that, well, we haven't had a chance
    to be alone like this in a while.
[09:05] Shinpachi
    I-I'm really sorry.
[09:09] Otae
    Honestly, you're so hopeless, Shin-chan.
[09:12] Otae
    Then I guess I'll depend on you today.
[09:15] Otae
    Will you listen to my whims?
[09:18] Shinpachi
    Y-Yes!
[09:19] Shinpachi
    You can ask for anything!
[09:20] Shinpachi
    I'll do it all.
[09:21] Shinpachi
    Ah, then I'll go get some more water!
[09:23] Otae
    It's dangerous to run.
[09:26] Shinpachi
    I'll be right back so sit tight.
[09:35] Shinpachi
    Yes? Eh?
[09:44] Gintoki
    I caught a cold.
[09:54] Kagura
    It hurts...
[09:55] Kagura
    My head is splitting...
[09:57] Kagura
    I'll probably...
[09:58] Kagura
    I'll probably feel better if I
    eat some rice porridge...
[10:02] Gintoki
    No, you gotta add egg.
[10:04] Gintoki
    Pretty sure I won't get better without
    rice porridge with egg and takuan...
SIGN    [Note: Takuan is a traditional Japanese pickle made from daikon radish.]
[10:10] Shinpachi
    Uh, why did you come all
    the way to my place?
[10:13] Shinpachi
    Shouldn't you rest at
    home if you're sick?
[10:15] Shinpachi
    Why did you come here?
[10:17] Gintoki
    Don't be so cold.
[10:19] Gintoki
    Neither of us can move.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Dragon Quest III video game.]
[10:22] Gintoki
    Like, you know, in DQ when a party
    of jesters have been paralyzed.
SIGN    
[10:28] Shinpachi
    Jesters?
[10:30] Shinpachi
    That's a strange analogy,
[10:33] Shinpachi
    but in the game, jesters have their minds paralyzed
    the second they go on a journey.
SIGN    [Kintoki suddenly collapses! Kintoki: Snore Snore He somehow manages to breathe normally! Kintoki: Ahh... Ahh... I can't move. Kintoki is bound by evil spirits.]
[10:38] Gintoki
    We used the last of our
    strength to make it here.
[10:41] Gintoki
    There can't be much difference between
    looking after one person or two or three.
[10:45] Gintoki
    I leave the rest to you, Mecha Doc.
SIGN    [Note: Spoof of manga "Yoroshiku Mecha Doc" (Mechanical Doctor). Serialized in Shonen Jump in the 80s.]
[10:48] Shinpachi
    Uh, this isn't a church or inn or anything.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of game "Dragon Quest."]
[10:50] Shinpachi
    You won't restore HP or recover from status
    effects by staying in a commoner's house.
[10:54] Kagura
    My body is burning... I'm gonna die...
[10:58] Kagura
    It hurts...
[10:59] Kagura
    I might...
[11:01] Kagura
    I might get better if I eat
    some ice cream...
[11:04] Shinpachi
    All you've been thinking about is food!
[11:09] Otae
    Shin-chan, I'll give you a hand, so let's
    make rice porridge for everyone.
[11:14] Shinpachi
    No, no!
[11:15] Shinpachi
    You just rest!
[11:16] Shinpachi
    Aren't you sick?
[11:18] Otae
    But I can't just lie down in this situation.
[11:22] Gintoki
    You fool!
[11:23] Gintoki
    Don't push yourself!
[11:24] Gintoki
    Your cooking will lead to death!
[11:26] Gintoki
    For us!
[11:28] Gintoki
    You should take better care of yourself!
[11:30] Kagura
    That's right.
[11:31] Kagura
    We just want Sis to live.
[11:33] Kagura
    We're not asking for anything else.
[11:35] Otae
    You two care about me that much?
[11:39] Shinpachi
    Fine!
[11:41] Shinpachi
    I get it!
[11:42] Shinpachi
    I just have to do it, right?!
[11:44] Shinpachi
    I just have to take care of
    all three of you, right?!
[11:47] Kondo
    S-Sorry...
[11:49] Kondo
    Could you make it four?
[11:53] Sachan
    Sorry...
[11:55] Sachan
    Could you add another one...?
[12:06] Kondo
    I didn't think it'd be so contagious...
[12:09] Kondo
    I came here to take care of Otae-san,
[12:12] Kondo
    but now I'm being taken care of!
[12:14] Kondo
    The biggest mistake I've ever made!
[12:17] Sachan
    But I'm so happy to contract
    a virus from Gin-san!
[12:20] Sachan
    Wreck me hard, why don't you?
[12:22] Sachan
    Have your way with me, Ginfluenza!
[12:26] Kondo
    What are you talking about?!
[12:27] Kondo
    This virus is from Otae-san!
[12:29] Kondo
    Violate me, Taefluenza!
[12:31] Sachan
    Harder, Ginfluenza!
[12:32] Kondo
    Squeal, Taefluenza!
[12:34] Sachan
    Indulge yourself, Ginfluenza!
[12:36] Kondo
    Deeper, Taefluenza!
[12:39] Kondo
    It burns! It burns!
[12:42] Shinpachi
    You're too damn loud!
[12:43] Shinpachi
    You sickos wanted to take
    care of them, my ass!
[12:45] Shinpachi
    You were just stalking them!
[12:48] Shinpachi
    Why do I have to take care of stalkers?!
[12:51] Kondo
    Calm down, Shinpachi-kun.
[12:53] Kondo
    It's long been said that you'll recover from a
    cold if you give it to someone else, yeah?
[12:56] Kondo
    I intended to sacrifice my
    body to save Otae-san...
[13:01] Kagura
    Sis, you okay?
[13:05] Shinpachi
    She isn't any better!
[13:07] Shinpachi
    She's even worse because the
    air's all contaminated now!
[13:10] Shinpachi
    Why do all these people have
    to gather at our house?!
[13:14] Shinpachi
    Nobody will get any better with this much
    virus concentrated in one place!
[13:18] Otae
    It's fine, Shin-chan.
[13:20] Shinpachi
    Sis!
[13:21] Otae
    Everybody feels lonely when they're sick,
[13:24] Otae
    like they're the only one
    suffering in the world.
[13:28] Otae
    It feels reassuring to have so many
    sick people in the same room.
[13:33] Shinpachi
    What are you talking about, Sis?!
[13:35] Shinpachi
    These people are sick in a different way!
[13:38] Shinpachi
    Their way of life is fundamentally sick!
[13:40] Sachan
    That's right!
[13:41] Sachan
    I'm infected by the disease
    known as Gin-san!
[13:44] Sachan
    I can't leave him, until death do us part!
[13:47] Kondo
    What?!
[13:48] Kondo
    That means I'm infected by an incurable
    disease called Otae-san!
[13:51] Kondo
    I won't be able to leave
    her after I'm dead!
[13:55] Shinpachi
    Couldn't you people at least
    pretend to deny it?
[13:57] Otae
    Shin-chan...
[13:58] Otae
    We may fight all the time,
[14:00] Otae
    but we're all sick and in
    the same boat now.
[14:04] Otae
    Let's work hard together to beat this cold.
[14:07] Kondo
    Yes, Otae-san.
[14:08] Kondo
    Let's work hard together, Otae-san!
[14:11] Kondo
    We'll get better and run around
    the fields like we used to!
[14:15] Otae
    When did that ever happen?
[14:17] Otae
    There's a folk remedy I'd like to try.
[14:21] Otae
    It involves this green onion...
[14:24] Kondo
    Ah, green onions are supposed to be
    effective against coughs and phlegm.
[14:28] Kondo
    My mom wrapped one around
    my throat when I was a kid.
[14:32] Kondo
    So what are we going to do?
[14:36] Kondo
    Otae-san! How much longer
    do I have to keep this up?!
[14:39] Otae
    Until your fever's gone
    and you're frozen stiff.
[14:43] Shinpachi
    Sis, he's going to die.
[14:45] Otae
    That should help clear up the air.
[14:49] Otae
    But the air's too dry.
[14:51] Otae
    The virus is going to multiply.
[14:54] Otae
    That's it.
[14:55] Otae
    I'll water the yard.
[14:58] Kondo
    Otae-san?!
[14:59] Kondo
    The snow turned into rain?!
[15:00] Shinpachi
    Sis, he's really going to die.
[15:03] Sachan
    Hey...
[15:04] Sachan
    Could you shut the door?
[15:06] Sachan
    It's cold.
[15:07] Sachan
    I can't stop shivering.
[15:09] Gintoki
    Oh, you're cold?
[15:11] Gintoki
    Then I'll sleep with you.
[15:13] Sachan
    Huh?
[15:15] Gintoki
    You're supposed to lie naked
    together when it's cold.
[15:19] Sachan
    Ah, wait, hold...
[15:21] Sachan
    Gin-san...?
[15:23] Sachan
    Wait, Gin-san!
[15:24] Sachan
    Y-You can't!
[15:26] Sachan
    Not that I don't want to...
[15:28] Sachan
    But you can't!
[15:29] Sachan
    Not here!
[15:30] Sachan
    They're all watching!
[15:32] Sachan
    This... This...
[15:38] Sachan
    Makes me so excited!
[15:43] Sachan
    Gin-san!
[15:46] Sachan
    Do whatever you want!
[15:53] Gintoki
    Shinpachi, don't let any
    more sick people in.
[15:57] Shinpachi
    Uh... That was really important to me...
[16:01] Shinpachi
    Th-That's...!
[16:03] Shinpachi
    A large amount of virus is sneaking
    in through the door cracks!
[16:30] Hasegawa
    O-Otae-chan...
[16:32] Hasegawa
    I'm here to see how you're doing...
[16:34] Gintoki
    Now we have someone whose very existence
    could be considered a virus!
[16:37] Hasegawa
    Huh?
[16:38] Hasegawa
    Oh? What's this?
[16:39] Hasegawa
    You guys are here, too?
[16:42] Hasegawa
    What's this?
[16:43] Hasegawa
    You're all sick together?
[16:48] Hasegawa
    Honestly...
[16:49] Hasegawa
    You're such a weak bunch.
[16:51] Hasegawa
    I'm used to living on the streets,
    that's why I'm fine as you can see.
[16:55] Shinpachi
    What the hell?!
[16:56] Shinpachi
    You just threw up blood!
[16:58] Shinpachi
    You've got something worse than a cold!
[17:03] Hasegawa
    As you can see, I'm just fine.
[17:05] Hasegawa
    I don't feel cold at all when
    I'm practically naked.
[17:09] Shinpachi
    He's wearing the virus.
[17:10] Shinpachi
    He's posing with the virus
    like it's a winter trend!
[17:12] Hasegawa
    This is just a small token,
[17:16] Hasegawa
    but please eat it together and get better.
[17:17] Hasegawa
    It's a Nagoya delicacy...
[17:18] Gintoki
    What is this stuff covering the Uiro?!
SIGN    [Note: Uiro is a steamed cake from Nagoya.]
[17:20] Gintoki
    Are you trying to poison us?!
[17:23] Gintoki
    We appreciate the thought,
[17:25] Gintoki
    now scram.
[17:26] Gintoki
    I'm feeling worse.
[17:29] Hasegawa
    Don't be like that.
[17:30] Hasegawa
    Zura-chi said he'd drop by later.
[17:32] Hasegawa
    We can all chat together.
[17:34] Shinpachi
    Huh? Katsura-san?
[17:35] Shinpachi
    Give me a break already.
[17:38] Shinpachi
    Don't bring any more virus in here!
[17:40] Gintoki
    Don't worry.
[17:41] Gintoki
    Despite his looks,
    Zura's tougher than I am.
[17:43] Gintoki
    He doesn't catch colds.
[17:45] Shinpachi
    That may be true,
[17:47] Shinpachi
    but just think, Gin-san.
[17:49] Shinpachi
    Kondo-san is here.
[17:51] Shinpachi
    Won't it be a problem if he and
    Katsura-san see each other?
[17:55] Kondo
    Man, it's working!
[17:56] Kondo
    It's really working, Otae-san!
[17:58] Kondo
    I'd say it's having more of a spiritual
    effect than a physical one!
[18:01] Kondo
    Since I almost lost my dignity
    as a human being!
[18:04] Otae
    Oh my...
[18:05] Otae
    I'm surprised to hear that Kondo-san
    had any dignity to begin with.
[18:09] Shinpachi
    In any case, it would be bad for
    Katsura-san to show up right now.
[18:13] Gintoki
    You have a point.
[18:15] Katsura
    Excuse me!
[18:16] Shinpachi
    Shoot!
[18:16] Shinpachi
    We're too late!
[18:17] Hasegawa
    Oh, you're here.
[18:18] Hasegawa
    Over here! Over here!
[18:20] Hasegawa
    Zura-chi!
[18:21] Katsura
    I'm not Zura-chi.
[18:23] Katsura
    I'm Ill Smith.
SIGN    [Note: Wordplay of actor "Will Smith" and "Virus." Japanese pronunciation of "Virus" sounds like "Wills."]
[18:25] Shinpachi
    He's not just sick! He's
    turned into Ill Smith!
[18:28] Shinpachi
    He's obviously been infected!
[18:30] Shinpachi
    Since he's Ill Smith!
[18:32] Shinpachi
    Sick to his very genes!
[18:33] Shinpachi
    And who the hell is Ill Smith?!
[18:35] Katsura
    How pathetic of you all to catch colds.
[18:41] Katsura
    Yes, we can.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of President Obama's campaign slogan.]
[18:42] Shinpachi
    What country are you the president of?
    "Yes, we can," he says.
[18:45] Shinpachi
    His character's so random.
[18:46] Shinpachi
    That's totally somebody else.
[18:48] Katsura
    You were infected by this virus because
    of the sloppy lifestyle you lead.
[18:52] Katsura
    Yes, we can.
[18:53] Shinpachi
    I don't want to hear that from someone
    who's sick to his very genes!
[18:55] Katsura
    An unbreakable will leads
    to the prevention of colds.
[18:59] Katsura
    Can you celebrate?
SIGN    [Note: Title of popular song by Namie Amuro.]
[19:00] Shinpachi
    What are you saying?
[19:01] Shinpachi
    Did the virus get his brain?
[19:03] Gintoki
    Well, I doubt the half-gorilla will
    recognize him with that face.
[19:07] Shinpachi
    Y-You're right.
[19:09] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[19:10] Shinpachi
    But that's odd.
[19:11] Shinpachi
    Katsura-san's infected to his very genes,
[19:14] Shinpachi
    yet he looks perfectly fine.
[19:16] Shinpachi
    And there isn't any virus around him.
[19:18] Gintoki
    Hey! Look at that!
[19:21] Shinpachi
    That's...!
[19:23] Shinpachi
    The virus around Hasegawa-san
    is vanishing!
[19:27] Shinpachi
    Could it be...?!
[19:29] Shinpachi
    Katsura-san is absorbing
    Hasegawa-san's virus?!
[19:32] Gintoki
    I-I see...
[19:34] Gintoki
    Damn Zura...
[19:36] Gintoki
    I thought he never caught colds because
    his body resisted viruses,
[19:40] Gintoki
    but it's the opposite.
[19:42] Gintoki
    His body absorbs viruses,
[19:45] Gintoki
    which means his immune system
    was strengthened to the point
[19:48] Gintoki
    where he can never catch a cold!
[19:51] Gintoki
    That's why he became Ill Smith.
[19:53] Gintoki
    Which means...
[19:56] Otae
    M-My body...
[19:57] Kagura
    I feel better.
[20:00] Kondo
    Th-This is...
[20:02] Sachan
    Huh?
[20:04] Shinpachi
    A-Amazing...
[20:05] Shinpachi
    He cured everybody's cold in no time.
[20:08] All
    I-It's like he's...
[20:12] Katsura
    Yes, we can.
[20:25] Shinpachi
    A messiah...
[20:27] Shinpachi
    A messiah sent from the heavens
    to save us from the virus.
[20:31] Shinpachi
    Katsura-san, I mean, Ill Smith...
[20:34] Shinpachi
    You were actually helpful!
[20:37] Kondo
    Otae-san!
[20:39] Kondo
    The green onions worked!
[20:40] Kondo
    My fever's completely gone!
[20:42] Kondo
    It's amazing!
[20:43] Kondo
    You're so amazing!
[20:45] Kondo
    You should all give it a try! Come on!
[20:58] Shinpachi
    That's...!
[20:59] Shinpachi
    All of the pent-up virus
[21:01] Shinpachi
    is blowing out his ass!
[21:15] Shinpachi
    Oh...
[21:16] Shinpachi
    It was just a dream...
[21:20] Shinpachi
    That's a relief.
[21:26] All
    Yes, we can.
[23:10] Shinpachi
    That was a tough ordeal!
[23:13] Shinpachi
    Right?
[23:13] Gintoki
    Like hell!
[23:14] Gintoki
    What's with the forced flashback?!
[23:16] Gintoki
    Why did the flashback start with the
    opening and finish with the ending?!
[23:20] Gintoki
    The eyecatch was even
    part of the flashback!
[23:22] Gintoki
    Didn't you screw up the timing for starting
    and ending the flashback?!
[23:25] Kagura
    We can't do anything about that.
[23:26] Kagura
    This chapter was in JUMP in February
[23:29] Kagura
    Volume 10.
[23:31] Gintoki
    Don't mouth off to me!
[23:32] Gintoki
    Don't snap at me!
[23:33] Gintoki
    And this was too much of a stretch!
SIGN    [The End]
SIGN    
[23:37] Gintoki
    Why?
[23:39] Gintoki
    Why you?
[23:40] Hijikata
    That's what I should be saying, dimwit.
[23:43] Gintoki
    Shut up! Zip it, mayo baldie!
[23:45] Hijikata
    No, you shut up, poop curls!
[23:47] Gintoki
    The next episode...
[23:48] Gintoki
    "Two Is Better Than One!
[23:49] Hijikata
    Two People Are Better Than One!"
[23:53] Gintoki
    Man, that's good. That's good.
[23:55] Gintoki
    We managed to make it through
    this week somehow.
[23:58] Kagura
    At this rate, we'll make it through
    the fourth year in no time.
[24:03] Gintoki
    That won't do, Kagura.
[24:05] Gintoki
    We're only through one cours.
[24:06] Gintoki
    If we relax now, we won't be able to
    make it to the washlet toilet at home.
[24:10] Kagura
    I don't think I can hold on
    another three seasons.
[24:13] Kagura
    Forget it.
[24:14] Kagura
    I'll just go right here.
[24:16] Shinpachi
    So why am I just a pair of glasses?
SIGN    [Welcome to Anime Town. It's just outside the Kami-Igusa train station.]
SIGN    [Note: "Ai Senshi" was an ending theme
    from the GUNDAM anime.]
SIGN    [By the way, the song the music box plays at noon is "Ai Senshi" (Soldiers of Sorrow).]
SIGN    [See you next time.]