E343 - Flavoring Is Best in Small Quantities
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Gintama
SIGN Silver Soul
SIGN Silver Soul Arc
SIGN Flavoring Is Best in Small Quantities
[01:40] Kat
Utsuro made the Altana reserves of seven
planets go berserk, destroying them.
[01:45] Kat
His true goal was to use the Altana
Liberation Army and turn Earth...
[01:51] Kat
into space dust.
[01:53] Kat
So our job is to...
[01:55] Kat
Pass the soy sauce, please.
[01:57] Sak
I see. Soy sauce, eh?
SIGN Watch the Silver Soul Arc in a bright room
and at a safe distance from your TV!!
[01:59] Sak
And what do we do once
we control the soy sauce?
[02:02] Kat
Fire it all at once toward
the croquette, obviously.
[02:04] Sak
Zura, trickery only works when
you also use traditional tactics.
[02:08] Sak
Croquettes are better with
Worcestershire sauce.
[02:11] Kat
A samurai can eat anything as long
as he has salt and soy sauce.
[02:14] Kat
It's because you get influenced by foreign
culture and use katakana seasoning
[02:17] Kat
that you get called "idiot"
and "moron" in katakana.
[02:20] Sak
Zura, croquettes themselves
are written in katakana.
[02:23] Sak
Ain't it common sense to use katakana
seasoning on katakana foods?
[02:27] Kat
It's not that simple.
[02:29] Kat
The katakana Yu Darvish and
his wife Saeko didn't work out,
[02:32] Kat
but things worked out great for
Nishikawa Kiyoshi and Helen.
[02:35] Kat
The world works in strange ways.
[02:37] Sak
As lovey-dovey as Kiyoshi and his wife seem,
they must've had tons of difficulties.
[02:42] Kat
No way. It's obvious from Helen's smile.
[02:44] Sak
Have you seen Saeko's smile, then?
[02:47] Kat
What the hell do you know about Helen?
[02:49] Sak
What do you know about Saeko's suffering?!
[02:52] Kat
Say what?
[02:53] Shin
That shtick is particularly irritating
when you consider that Earth is in peril.
[02:56] Gin
Right? Makes you wanna destroy Earth, right?
[02:59] Gin
Long story short, both Helen
and Saeko did their best.
[03:02] Gin
And to save Earth, defeating
Utsuro ain't enough.
[03:06] Gin
We also have to stop the war that he started.
[03:10] Gin
Let's say...
[03:11] Gin
Earth is this croquette, and the maple
syrup on top is the Liberation Army.
[03:16] Gin
The pocky stuck in the middle is Utsuro...
[03:18] Shin
Uh, the syrup packs too much
punch. I can't follow at all.
[03:21] Kag
How confusing. Basically, it's like this.
[03:25] Kag
The croquette here is Earth.
[03:27] Kag
All the gastric acid attacking
it is the Liberation Army.
[03:30] Shin
Pretty sure Earth's done
for here. It's been eaten.
[03:33] Shin
Could you stop likening it to a croquette?
SIGN It's like this, right?
[03:38] Shin
What the hell did you eat?!
[03:39] Shin
That's Korokke the actor, not croquette!
[03:41] Mut
That's just how it is.
[03:43] Mut
We can't even agree on how to eat croquettes.
[03:47] Mut
So we should just eat it however we like,
with whatever seasoning we like.
[03:50] Mut
In other words,
[03:51] Mut
no different from how it's always been.
[03:53] Shin
Even as you say that, your belly's
swollen with croquettes!
[03:56] Shin
You really are a Yato, huh?
[03:59] Sak
Even if Earth is in peril,
a trader's gotta do business.
[04:04] Shin
Business?
[04:05] Sak
We're gonna negotiate
with the Liberation Army.
[04:07] Sak
For that, we need ta take the
Tendoshu and Utsuro's heads first.
[04:12] Sak
We'll sell those heads
to the Liberation Army.
[04:14] Sak
In return, we'll buy Earth's future.
[04:18] Kat
Will that really stop the war?
[04:20] Kat
They're fixated on Earth itself, you know.
[04:24] Gin
That's exactly why we have to do it.
[04:27] Gin
We have to show the entire universe that
Earthlings have the power to defend Earth from
[04:34] Gin
the Tendoshu and the Liberation Army.
[04:36] Gin
Or else, Earth doesn't have a future.
[04:39] Kat
Even so,
[04:41] Kat
is it even possible to bring
them to the negotiating table?
[04:44] Kat
Do you really think they'll
listen to nobodies like us?
[04:51] Nb
Oh, they will.
[04:55] Nb
If they hear that you're not rebels
who turned against the bakufu,
[04:59] Nb
but Shogun Tokugawa Nobunobu's official army.
[05:03] Shin
Lord Nobunobu?!
[05:05] Sak
What's this, Shogun-sama?
[05:08] Sak
You're finally willin' to touch
the space food that Gran cooked?
[05:13] Nb
Give me another croquette.
[05:15] G
Sir!
[05:16] Nb
As pathetic as the food may be,
[05:18] Nb
one can't fight on an empty stomach.
You're the one who told me that.
[05:23] Nb
Take me with you.
[05:25] Nb
If you do, the Liberation Army
will treat you as Earth's envoys.
[05:30] Kag
You're telling us to become your retainers?!
[05:32] Kag
Keep the jokes to your crew cut, okay?!
[05:35] Shin
Kagura-chan!
[05:38] Nb
A man who became shogun by being
a puppet has no retainers.
[05:44] Nb
But even if I'm an empty figurehead,
I can still use the title of shogun.
[05:49] Nb
Let me at least choose for myself
my final act as a puppet.
[05:53] Kat
After being a puppet all your life,
now you'll willingly choose to act as one?
[06:00] Kat
Are you trying to atone for your sins?
[06:02] Kat
No matter how hard you try,
we'll never forget what you've done.
[06:07] Nb
I won't forget, either.
[06:09] Nb
All an empty shogun can do is take in all
of his subjects' sorrow, hatred, and hopes,
[06:16] Nb
and watch how things play out until the end.
[06:21] Nb
Hey.
[06:23] Nb
This is how one is supposed
to eat croquettes, I take it?
[06:47] G
Thank you for coming, Shogun-dono.
[06:50] G
So, what can we do for you?
[06:53] Nb
As representative of Earth's people,
there is something I must discuss with you.
[07:06] Nb
Can I use your toilet?
[07:11] Kat
And that was how the first contact between
us and the Liberation Army went.
[07:15] Kat
They really cannot be taken lightly.
[07:17] Kat
You don't even have to wipe your ass
[07:19] Kat
with this terrifying technology called
"washlet" that they've developed.
[07:22] Shin
What the hell are you guys negotiating?!
[07:24] Kat
Because you guys put all sorts
of stuff on his croquettes,
[07:27] Kat
it seems he's had an upset
stomach for the past three days.
[07:30] Shin
That doesn't mean that after
barging into the enemy's base,
[07:33] Shin
you borrow their toilet
and call it a done deal!
[07:34] Kat
Relax. It wasn't just their
toilet that we borrowed.
SIGN Abarenbo Shogun
[07:37] Kat
We also borrowed sweats and underwear.
[07:39] Shin
So he pooped his pants after all?
[07:41] Kat
We also borrowed Inpendence
Day and S* Wars.
[07:45] Shin
Why were you at Zudaya?
Why were you guys in sweats, too?!
[07:47] Kat
We really can't take the
Liberation Army lightly.
[07:50] Kat
They even have lodging facilities
and Zudaya on their mother ship.
[07:53] Kat
But we're preparing for tomorrow
by watching S*** Wars.
[07:56] Kat
We shan't lose.
[07:57] Shin
You've already lost!
[07:58] Shin
The moment you decided to prepare using
a video you borrowed from the enemy,
[08:01] Shin
the Earth was doomed!
[08:02] Kat
The real negotiations start tomorrow.
[08:04] Kat
Our battle has only just begun.
[08:06] Kat
How are things on your end?
[08:08] Shin
While you guys were watching S*** Wars,
actual s*** wars broke out over here.
[08:13] Shin
In the name of saving Earth,
[08:15] Shin
the Liberation Army was looting
and pillaging everything.
[08:18] Shin
Citizens all over Edo are
revolting to put an end to this.
[08:24] 73
Is this all the Liberation Army's got?
[08:27] 73
I thought they'd entertain us, but they
ran away as soon as we poked 'em a little.
[08:31] 73
Yuki-chan of the Iai YankWank Pub
I frequent is much more liberatin'.
[08:37] Sai
You don't understand a thing.
[08:40] Sai
Did you learn nothing from watching Jirocho?
[08:42] 73
Boss is a master of iai yanking too, y'know?
[08:45] Sai
Shut up.
[08:46] Kyo
The Liberation Army must've quickly
retreated because it was their plan all along.
[08:51] Tet
Now they can say they're suppressing a riot
and go all-out to take control of Edo.
[08:56] HB
Can't wait.
SIGN Can't wait. The real fun starts now, huh?
[08:58] HB
The real fun starts now, huh?
[09:01] Sai
In unarmed combat, I don't think
even gods or devils could beat me.
[09:06] Sai
But we're up against people who can wipe
out an entire town if they feel like it.
[09:11] Sai
They've pummeled me—the
Saigo—and Jirocho once already.
[09:15] Sai
How are we supposed to beat them?
[09:19] Gen
I'll handle the fighting with machines part.
[09:21] Gen
You morons can fight your
own moronic battles.
[09:25] Oto
This makes me happy.
[09:26] Oto
I never thought I'd live long enough
to see another massive fight like this.
[09:30] Oto
I'm looking forward to you
guys avenging my husband.
[09:38] Sai
The geezers and hags of this town
are scarier than gods or devils!
[09:42] W
Everyone,
[09:43] W
thanks for keeping watch.
[09:45] Tae
We've brought refreshments!
[09:47] Tae
Help yourselves—
[09:50] Shin
Under the Four Devas' leadership,
[09:52] Shin
the Kabuki District is preparing for
the Liberation Army's next move.
[09:52] Shin
Come, now, don't be shy. Eat up.
[09:57] Shin
As for Kyubei-san and
the rest of the Yagyu...
[10:00] Kyu
It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman.
[10:03] Kyu
Those who're capable of
fighting and those who aren't
[10:05] Kyu
should both just do everything they can.
[10:09] Kyu
If we all come together as one, I'm
sure we can overcome any adversity!
[10:14] Kyu
We, the Yagyu Family,
will protect you to the last!
[10:18] Kyu
So would you all protect our country with us?
[10:21] Bin
How you've grown, Kyubei.
[10:24] Toj
Young Master! I'm sure your mother
is watching your heroics in heaven!
[10:28] G
We can help! Use us!
[10:31] W
Me, too!
[10:32] W
And us!
[10:32] G
And me!
[10:34] Kyu
Thank you. Thank you.
[10:36] Kyu
Tha...
[10:42] Shin
While calling for the people to rise up,
[10:44] Shin
they seem to be trying to
solidify the various groups.
[10:48] Shin
And then there's...
[10:52] Sac
How's the Liberation Army looking?
[10:55] G
Unable to handle the public's
resistance, they've retreated for now.
[10:59] Sac
So they're preparing to crush
Edo once and for all.
[11:03] Sac
Let all of Edo know and guide
the people to the shelters.
[11:07] G
Understood.
[11:09] Sac
What about the other thing?
[11:11] G
Haven't found him yet.
[11:12] Sac
I see.
[11:14] Sac
Very well. Dismissed.
[11:19] Sac
What is he doing?
[11:22] Shin
Sacchan-san and the Oniwaban
[11:24] Shin
are keeping an eye on the Liberation Army.
[11:26] Shin
Tsukuyo-san and gang are...
[11:27] G
No!
[11:29] G
I don't wanna be sold to Yoshiwara!
[11:31] G
You people are monsters!
[11:34] G
Even if you take my body,
you won't have my heart!
[11:34] Hya
You don't have to work
here. Just take refuge.
[11:36] G
Shut it, fugly!
[11:37] Hya
Who're you calling fugly, you hag?!
[11:39] G
What's wrong with calling a fugly a fugly?!
[11:41] Hin
How ironic.
[11:43] Hin
That thick ceiling, which once kept us
Yoshiwara women locked up underground,
[11:48] Hin
is now acting as a truly reliable shield.
[11:51] Hin
I thought I'd never see
this metallic sky again.
[11:55] Hin
It looks completely
different now, doesn't it?
[11:58] Hin
Is it because we know we're
connected, even if it's shut?
[12:02] Hin
Connected to the skies over
Edo, where everyone is.
[12:05] Tsu
Yeah.
[12:07] Tsu
So we should fight, too,
[12:09] Tsu
along with the ones who live
under the same skies as us.
[12:15] Shin
Katsura-san.
[12:17] Shin
Make sure the Liberation Army knows
[12:20] Shin
that we will never lose.
[12:34] Shin
Katsura-san.
[12:35] Shin
Make sure the Liberation Army knows
[12:38] Shin
that we will never lose.
[12:44] Shin
There you have it.
[12:46] Shin
These people aren't rioters.
[12:48] Shin
Earthlings rose up to stop the Liberation
Army's looting and savagery.
[12:53] Shin
If your soldiers back off, so will they.
[12:56] G
We were trying to liberate you from
the Tendoshu's rule, you know.
[13:01] G
You call that savagery?
[13:03] Sak
It was savagery.
[13:05] Sak
We samurai prefer ta wipe our own asses
and clean up our own messes.
[13:08] Sak
And you stole our prey from us.
[13:13] G
You mean to say you'll deal with
the Tendoshu without our help?
[13:16] G
Like you can—
[13:18] Nb
They can.
[13:20] Nb
They put me through hell,
so I know it better than anyone.
[13:24] Nb
A word of advice:
[13:26] Nb
do not get on their bad side.
[13:28] Nb
Also...
[13:31] Nb
Can I use your toil—
[13:34] Sak
Just clench your butt.
[13:36] Kat
This is do-or-die for both Earth and you.
[13:41] Shu
Oh?
[13:43] Shu
You seem to have a very favorable
opinion of your subjects.
[13:47] Shu
But we can't back down, either.
[13:51] Kat
Admiral Shijaku.
[13:53] Kat
A primary player in the
Liberation Army's formation,
[13:56] Kat
and a master of fleet warfare.
[13:58] Kat
A big shot has shown up.
[14:00] Nb
A big one's going to show up here, too!
[14:03] Shi
The Tendoshu aren't your
country's problem alone.
[14:07] Shi
Many planets that were home to
my comrades here were destroyed.
[14:11] Shi
Ending the Agency's long rule
[14:14] Shi
and taking back our freedom in this battle
[14:17] Shi
is the greatest wish of people all across
the universe, and our biggest challenge.
[14:21] Shi
Shouldn't we take one another's
hand and deal with this together?
[14:28] Shi
The Tokugawa Bakufu is a puppet regime
that the Tendoshu controlled for ages.
[14:33] Shi
I thought they'd been rendered spineless.
[14:35] Shi
I never expected them to come this far.
[14:38] Shi
But his fear is clear for all to see.
[14:41] Shi
He can't assert his country's will if it
turns the entire universe against them.
[14:47] Shi
Nobody can.
[14:50] Shi
Can we take your lack of response
as a sign that you accept us?
[14:58] Nb
What do you think freedom is?
[15:00] Nb
Does the freedom you people seek
[15:03] Nb
mean benefiting even if you have to
take away the freedom of other planets?
[15:08] Nb
The freedom we samurai seek
is a much higher standard.
[15:13] Nb
True freedom is
[15:17] Nb
being able to go to the
toilet whenever you want!
[15:22] Sak
Poop whenever you want.
[15:24] Kat
I have a change of Pampers ready for you.
[15:28] Shi
He's still keeping up his
headstrong attitude?
[15:33] G
Does that mean you consider the
Liberation Army your enemie—
[15:36] Nb
Enough!
[15:38] Nb
Don't make me repeat myself over and over!
[15:41] Nb
We'll take down the Tendoshu ourselves.
[15:44] Nb
If you want to help, feel free.
[15:46] Nb
But if you want to mess with our
country in the name of helping,
[15:49] Nb
we'll take you down as well!
[15:50] Nb
Okay! That's it! We're done here!
[15:54] Shi
Forget asking for help. He ended
the negotiations himself.
[15:58] Shi
Is it not fear he's showing, then?
No, it most definitely is fear.
[16:02] Shi
But that's...
[16:05] Sak
Not yet.
[16:06] Kat
Spew everything here,
and not just from your butt.
[16:10] Shi
That's a fear directed at something else.
[16:13] Shi
Wait, Shogun-dono!
[16:14] Nb
Knock it off already!
[16:17] Nb
If you keep me here any longer,
[16:21] Nb
I just might end up launching it.
[16:25] G
L-Launching?!
[16:27] G
You!
[16:28] G
Y-You couldn't have!
[16:30] G
Freeze!
[16:33] G
This is all futile. It's too late.
[16:37] G
Nobody can stop it anymore. Not even me.
[16:41] G
What are you packing?
[16:43] G
What are you planning to launch?
[16:45] G
Time-based missiles?
Interplanetary ballistic missiles?
[16:48] G
Answer!
[16:49] Kat
Nope.
[16:50] Sak
It's poop.
[16:51] Nb
The ones who forced me to do this
[16:55] Nb
were none other than you lot!
[16:57] Shi
Calm down, everyone.
[16:59] G
Admiral.
[17:00] Shi
So that's what you were so afraid of.
[17:03] Shi
You planned on using it as
your trump card all along?
[17:07] Nb
I sent you several warning signs.
[17:10] Nb
Not my fault you lot didn't notice them.
[17:13] Shi
So it was an ace in the hole you
would've preferred not to use?
[17:17] Shi
What will happen if it's launched?
[17:20] Shi
Is the target this S.S. Heavenly Bird?
[17:22] Nb
Isn't that obvious? It's simple.
[17:26] Nb
No amount of asswiping will ever clear
the disgrace it'll bring my name.
[17:29] Nb
And future generations won't ever forget it.
[17:31] G
A weapon that'll even affect
future generations?
[17:34] G
It must be...
[17:36] Bo
A nuke!
[17:37] Kat
Nope.
[17:38] Sak
It's poop.
[17:39] G
I-Impossible!
[17:40] G
We thoroughly investigated the ships they
arrived in! They're still under watch!
[17:44] G
The Army should have control
of Earth's main weapons, too.
[17:46] G
Where did you keep something
like that hidden?
[17:49] Nb
Three minutes until launch.
[17:51] Nb
One, two, three...
[17:55] Nb
Run away from here immediately!
[17:58] G
Is it inside his stomach?
[18:00] Shi
I've heard that Earth samurai
have weapons in their bellies.
[18:05] Nb
Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen...
[18:05] Shi
Apparently, that weapon they're prepared
to die to use is as powerful as a nuke.
[18:11] Shi
I see.
[18:13] Shi
So this is the samurai's lethal weapon,
[18:16] Shi
disembowelment!
[18:17] Kat
Nope.
[18:18] Sak
It's a bowel movement.
[18:19] G
Disembowelment? Wh-What is that?
[18:23] Shi
I don't know exactly,
but guessing from his stance,
[18:27] Shi
it's a weapon that converts whatever's
in his stomach into energy
[18:30] Shi
and fires it out of his butt.
[18:33] Kat
Uh, that's pretty much...
[18:35] Sak
It's poop.
[18:36] G
How can we stop it?
[18:38] Shi
I don't know how exactly,
[18:40] Shi
but taking in fiber and the
like to clear the bowels
[18:45] Shi
should mitigate its impact.
[18:47] Kat
Uh, that's exactly...
[18:49] Sak
It's poop.
[18:50] G
I-It's a bluff!
[18:52] G
No way can he launch something as powerful
as a nuke from this stupid pose.
[18:56] G
Seize him!
[18:57] Nb
No!
[18:58] Nb
Not there!
[19:02] G
J-Just getting close made them...
[19:04] G
It's the real deal!
[19:05] G
It's a real disembowelment!
[19:07] Shi
Evacuate at once!
[19:09] Shi
Issue a level one alarm!
[19:11] Shi
Get away from S.S. Heavenly
Bird at full speed!
[19:17] G
A-Admiral?
[19:18] G
What are you doing?
[19:19] Shi
Hurry up and go.
[19:21] Shi
I cannot abandon my ship.
[19:23] G
Admiral!
[19:25] Shi
It seems I underestimated you earthlings.
[19:29] Shi
I never expected you to be prepared to
kill yourself for these negotiations.
[19:33] Shi
Your resolve was splendid.
[19:36] Shi
I was lacking in proper etiquette.
[19:38] Shi
When someone risks their
life to challenge you,
[19:41] Shi
my planet's etiquette dictates that you
must respond by risking your own life.
[19:45] Shi
I too shall risk my life
[19:49] Shi
to put an end to this pointless conflict.
[19:52] Shi
The real negotiations start now!
[19:57] G
Is that a counter-disembowelment?
[19:58] G
What the heck is a counter-disembowelment?
[20:00] G
I don't know exactly, but
when the enemy fires his,
[20:03] G
he'll probably fire his own
disembowelment to neutralize it.
[20:06] G
Can the admiral really use disembowelment?
[20:09] G
I don't know, but...
[20:11] Shi
Whoa!
[20:13] Shi
I feel like I can release
something right now!
[20:16] Shi
Is this... Is this...
[20:20] Kat
Nope.
[20:21] Sak
It's poop.
[20:36] G
Admiral?
[20:37] G
What's the matter, Admiral?
[20:39] G
What happened?
[20:42] Shi
Uh, can I ask you something?
[20:46] Shi
What exactly is disembowelment?
[20:50] Nb
Dunno.
[20:51] Shi
Of course you don't!
[20:52] Shi
I knew all along! There's no
way it could've been true!
[20:57] Shi
Well, the guys don't seem
to have realized yet,
[21:01] Shi
so please don't tell them, okay?
[21:04] Nb
Very well. But in return...
[21:07] Shi
I know. I'll talk to the others
and make the negotiations easier.
[21:12] Nb
No, before that...
[21:14] KatSak
Could you let him use your toilet?
[21:22] KatSak
Go dump as much as you want.
[21:30] Kat
These negotiations temporarily softened
the Liberation Army's stance.
SIGN Well done.
[21:35] Kat
A peaceful resolution to the riots
[21:37] Kat
and greater discipline from the
army were among the promises made,
[21:40] Kat
but we couldn't get them to withdraw
their troops stationed on Earth.
[21:44] Kat
But our biggest gain this time
[21:47] Kat
might be the reliable friend we
made in the Liberation Army.
[21:52] Shi
Don't tell anyone.
SIGN Abarenbo Admiral
[21:53] Nb
Right back at you.
SIGN Abarenbo Shogun
[21:54] Shi
It's a promise, okay?
[21:56] Nb
You keep your promise too, okay?
[21:58] Kat
That's about it.
[21:59] Kat
We couldn't stop the war, but it
wasn't bad for a first meeting.
[22:03] Kat
Well? How'd you like our negotiation skills?
[22:08] Shin
Uh, it was poop.
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Preview
[23:44] Shi
That's a real disembowelment, huh?
[23:48] Gin
If we don't defeat them, this will never end.
SIGN Silver Soul Arc
SIGN A Delinquent's Kid Has Long Neck Hair
SIGN Sorry it was
SIGN pretty much poop.
SIGN Next time, the biggest fish, Utsuro, shows up.
SIGN Another new character appears, too.
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