E6 - Keep Your Promise Even If It Kills You

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Shinpachi
    The land of the samurai.
[00:03] Shinpachi
    There was a time, long ago, when our country was called by that name.
[00:07] Shinpachi
    With the arrival of the "Amanto" from outer space
[00:11] Shinpachi
    and the Sword Ban twenty years ago, the samurai class fell into decline.
[00:16] Shinpachi
    In such hard times, there was one man left with the spirit of the samurai.
[00:20] Shinpachi
    His name is Gintoki Sakata, a reckless Jack of All Trades with a sweet tooth.
[00:26] Shinpachi
    Due to some rather unexpected events, I, Shinpachi Shimura, ended up working here.
[00:31] Shinpachi
    The three of us slice up a corrupt Edo.
[00:35] Shinpachi
    Wait, is that really the story?
SIGN    [Suspected for the bombing, the Odd Jobs gang are under police questioning.]
SIGN    [By the way this man is the "Boss", and he's holding a glass of brandy.]
SIGN    ["Keep Your Promise Even If It Kills You"]
SIGN    [Oedo Police Station]
[02:40] Gintoki
    Hey, hey, enough already.
[02:43] Gintoki
    We had nothing to do with it, I'm telling you.
[02:45] Gintoki
    I've told you that a million times.
[02:47] Officer A
    Some things never change.
[02:49] Officer A
    It's always the perpetrator who claims he had nothing to do it.
[02:53] Gintoki
    How many times are you going to ask me?
[02:55] Gintoki
    I've explained everything from the very beginning to the very end.
[02:58] Officer A
    Yeah, yeah. All the guilty ones say that.
[03:02] Officer A
    "My kid would never do that," or "I don't remember."
[03:05] Officer A
    You're just as hard to believe as the people who say those things, don't you think?
[03:09] Officer A
    Come on, confess already.
[03:11] Officer A
    We're not running a charity here, you know.
[03:14] Officer A
    Or is it that you guys think you'll get off if you keep holding out on us?
[03:19] Officer A
    Ain't gonna happen.
[03:23] Shinpachi
    I've had enough, you shithead!
[03:25] Shinpachi
    We're telling you, we're innocent!
[03:28] Shinpachi
    Quit wasting your breath and let us out of here right now!
[03:31] Shinpachi
    We have places to go!
[03:35] Kagura
    Violent Four-Eyes.
[03:36] Gintoki
    Hey, his personality is changing!
[03:41] Gintoki
    I risk my life getting rid of that bomb and they rake me over the coals for three days.
[03:46] Gintoki
    Rotten cops!
[03:47] Shinpachi
    I think you've kept us long enough.
[03:49] Shinpachi
    Thanks to me, at least we're not on their most wanted list anymore.
[03:51] Gintoki
    But why'd they release us after Shinpachi freaked out like that?
[03:55] Kagura
    Because they know someone normally docile is more difficult to deal with when they crack under the pressure.
[04:00] Gintoki
    They piss me off.
[04:02] Gintoki
    So piss on them.
[04:03] Kagura
    Okay, I'll puke on 'em.
[04:05] Shinpachi
    Stop that! This is TV! Control yourselves!
[04:09] Shinpachi
    There'll be no end to the number of times I'll be arrested if I hang around you guys.
[04:12] Shinpachi
    I'm going on home!
[04:15] Shinpachi
    Don't get lost on the way home, you morons!
[04:18] Gintoki
    Hey, hey, we can't have an anime without a straight man.
[04:22] Gintoki
    I don't have a choice then.
[04:23] Gintoki
    I'll be the straight man this week.
[04:25] Gintoki
    You...watch where you're puking!
[04:28] Gintoki
    Whadda stench!
[04:35] Gintoki
    Whadda stench!
[04:36] Officer B
    Hey...
[04:38] Officer B
    Stop him! He's an escaped convict.
[04:40] Officer B
    Phew!
[04:41] Gintoki
    Yes?
[04:45] Father
    Stand back!
[04:46] Father
    Don't you care what happens to barf babe here?
[04:48] Officer B
    You scum!
[04:50] Father
    Just for today, I'm...
[04:51] Father
    Hey you, with the naturally wavy hair.
[04:54] Father
    Can you drive a car?
[04:55] Gintoki
    Yeah.
[04:57] Officer B
    Damn it! Do you think you can get away with defying the law?!
[05:02] Kagura
    He's got me!
[05:04] Kagura
    I'm scared.
[05:06] Gintoki
    I have no choice but to do as he says.
[05:09] Father
    Come on, come on, outta my way.
[05:23] Officer B
    After him! Don't let him get away!
[05:30] Gintoki
    Well, that was exhilarating.
[05:33] Gintoki
    But do you really think you can get away with this?
[05:37] Father
    Never mind. Just turn right.
[05:38] Gintoki
    These days, escaping from prison is tougher than winning the lottery.
[05:46] Father
    I have no intention of getting away for good.
[05:49] Father
    Just for today. I'll be happy if I can be free for just one day today.
[06:00] Father
    Today, is a special day.
[06:04] Gintoki
    A special day, eh?
[06:06] Gintoki
    If you're captured immediately after breaking out of prison,
[06:09] Gintoki
    it'll be a special day you'll never forget for the rest of your life.
[06:15] Father
    Step on it! I can't get caught now!
[06:18] Gintoki
    As you wish. Boost!
[06:33] Maid
    I'm a new teahouse maid, sir.
[06:37] Yamada
    So cute.
[06:41] Gintoki
    Move, move, move!
[06:45] Officer B
    Pull over, damn it. You can't get away!
[06:49] Gintoki
    Can't get away, you say?
[06:50] Gintoki
    When you say that, it makes me want to prove you wrong!
[06:56] Officer B
    The suspect is heading for the Terminal Tower.
[06:59] Officer B
    Request a block at Moe Moe intersection.
[07:02] Officer C
    Ten-four.
[07:08] Father
    The road, it's...
[07:09] Gintoki
    We're not done yet.
[07:21] Gintoki
    Here goes...
[07:24] Gintoki
    Go!
[07:32] Gintoki
    We did it!
[08:09] ---
    We did it!
[08:15] Gintoki
    Crap! A stroller!
[08:26] Dai( )Ro
    Pa.
[08:27] Ogami
    My son and I walk a path of darkness and evil.
[08:30] Ogami
    We are in a hurry, so allow us our leave.
[08:34] Gintoki
    Damned wolf. Doesn't he know cars can't stop so quickly?
[08:39] Officer D
    There they are!
[08:43] Father
    Damn it!
[08:44] Gintoki
    Hey, Pops.
[08:46] Gintoki
    This way!
[08:49] Officer D
    Damn. Where'd they go?
[08:51] Officer E
    Find them! They couldn't have gone far.
[09:00] Gintoki
    Hey, come on, wake up!
[09:03] Kagura
    It stinks!
[09:05] Father
    Why're you helping me?
[09:08] Gintoki
    I'm not sure.
[09:10] Father
    It doesn't make sense. Now you're all wrapped up in this mess. And yet...
[09:14] Gintoki
    Well, yeah, but part of it is that I hate the police.
[09:18] Gintoki
    Maybe I just want to see you through
[09:22] Gintoki
    your special day.
[09:28] Father
    We're almost there. Let's hurry!
[09:30] Gintoki
    Right!
[09:32] Otsu
    Everybody...
[09:36] Otsu
    Thank you all for coming to my pooformance!
[09:40] Older Men
    Pooformance!
[09:43] Otsu
    Today, forget about your worldly cares, and just have fun, okay, necromancer!
[09:47] Crowd
    Necromancer!
[09:49] Otsu
    Okay, for my first song,
[09:51] Otsu
    "Your Father is Bleep-Bleep".
[09:53] Otsu
    Please enjoy!
[10:08] Gintoki
    What the hell...is this?
[10:10] Father
    It's the first live performance by today's up-and-coming pop idol, Tsu Terakado.
[10:15] Gintoki
    You jerk. Is this your idea of life?!
[10:19] Gintoki
    You broke out of from prison for a pop idol?!
[10:21] Gintoki
    You'd ruin your entire life for a moment's pleasure?
[10:25] Gintoki
    That's the kind of the mentality that got you thrown in jail, you fool!
[10:29] Father
    It's precisely because I ruined my entire life for a moment's pleasure
[10:32] Father
    that I realize this an important moment that I can't miss.
[10:37] Father
    So come on, let's have fun! L-O-V-E O-tsu-u!
[10:43] Father
    L-O-V-E!
[10:44] Gintoki
    I can't take any more. We're going home, Kagura.
[10:47] Kagura
    Aww, I wanna stay for more... son of whore.
[10:50] Gintoki
    Don't let it influence you.
[10:54] Gintoki
    This is like a cult.
[10:57] Gintoki
    The air is rank with human stank.
[11:02] Shineitai
    L-O-V-E O-tsu-u.
[11:05] Shinpachi
    Louder!
[11:07] Shineitai
    Okay!
[11:08] Shineitai
    L-O-V-E O-tsu-u.
[11:12] Shinpachi
    Hey, pay attention! Shout it out.
[11:15] Shineitai Member A
    Sorry, Chief!
[11:17] Gintoki
    Hey, since when did you become their captain?
[11:20] Shinpachi
    I've been a captain of Otsu's fan club from the day I was born.
[11:23] Shinpachi
    Gyahh! Why're you here, Gin?
[11:26] Gintoki
    That's what I'd like to know.
[11:28] Gintoki
    You go for this teeny-bopper crap, too?
[11:31] Gintoki
    How am I going to explain this to your sister?
[11:34] Shinpachi
    I can do whatever I like! I'm not a little kid!
[11:38] Mother
    You there.
[11:40] Mother
    Please don't leave your seat during the performance.
[11:43] Mother
    You're spoiling it for the rest of the audience.
[11:46] Shinpachi
    Sorry, Ms. Manager. I'll throw him out.
[11:50] Mother
    Oh, you're from the fan club? No problem, then.
[11:53] Mother
    Today is her first live show, so we have to make sure it's a success.
[11:58] Father
    L-O-V-E O-tsu-u.
[12:01] Father
    L-O-V-E O-tsu-u.
[12:04] Mother
    You.
[12:06] Fans
    We do-do!
[12:20] Otsu’S Song
    Everyone says it,
[12:25] Otsu’S Song
    but when the time comes, I just can't say it.
[12:30] Otsu’S Song
    Bleep-bleep! Bleep-bleep!
[12:34] Otsu (N)
    Otsu Terakado's second single.
[12:39] Otsu (N)
    " Your Father is Bleep-Bleep," in stores soon!
[12:42] Otsu
    If you don't buy it, I'll rip off your mole.
[12:54] Father
    I see.
[12:55] Father
    So you're Otsu's manager.
[13:00] Father
    The two of you, mother and daughter, made it this far.
[13:03] Father
    Impressive.
[13:05] Mother
    Hearing that from you doesn't make me happy.
[13:09] Mother
    I'm surprised you have the nerve to show your face after all this time.
[13:12] Mother
    Aren't you still supposed to be in jail? Why are you even here?
[13:20] Mother
    I've had it with you.
[13:22] Mother
    I can see you haven't changed a bit.
[13:26] Mother
    You live your life however you please,
[13:30] Mother
    but do you ever think about the people who suffer for it? Like your daughter and me?
[13:36] Mother
    For no other reason than being your daughter, Otsu's had to endure so much.
[13:44] Reporter A
    Otsu, what's the key selling point of your second single, " Your Father is Bleep-Bleep"?
[13:49] Otsu
    I'd say it's the hidden meaning behind the "bleep-bleep."
[13:53] Otsu
    I'd be happy if you could appreciate its more mature implications.
[13:58] Reporter B
    Tomorrow is your first solo concert, right?
[14:01] Reporter B
    How're you feeling about that?
[14:02] Otsu
    I'll do my very best!
[14:04] Reporter C
    Come to think of it, Otsu, your mother is your manager, isn't she?
[14:08] Otsu
    Yes.
[14:09] Reporter C
    What does your father have to say about your concert?
[14:13] Otsu
    My father...
[14:15] Mother
    Her father died. Thirteen years ago.
[14:19] Reporter C
    Is that true, Otsu?
[14:26] Mother
    It's your fault for making Otsu suffer like that.
[14:31] Mother
    Just go away, please. And never come back.
[14:38] Mother
    Don't force her to relive painful memories like
[14:42] Mother
    the fact that her father is a murderer.
[14:56] Gintoki
    Stick of gum?
[14:57] Father
    Why would I want a kiddy thing like that?
[15:00] Gintoki
    The secret to enjoying life is to hold on to the kid inside you.
[15:05] Gintoki
    Well, busting out of jail just to see your daughter's big moment on stage
[15:09] Gintoki
    is something you can't do unless you're a childish idiot.
[15:11] Father
    That's not how it is, dumbass!
[15:14] Father
    I made a promise to her a long time ago.
[15:18] Otsu As A Child
    I want to be an idol ~ La-la-la-la...
[15:23] Father
    You must be my kid! A voice that awful has gotta be hereditary.
[15:29] Otsu As A Child
    Just you wait.
[15:30] Otsu As A Child
    I'll practice and get better, and then one day I'll be an idol singer.
[15:33] Father Back Then
    If you can become a professional singer,
[15:35] Father Back Then
    then there's even hope for the crickets.
[15:38] Otsu As A Child
    Shut up, you meanie!
[15:39] Otsu As A Child
    If I say I'll be an idol singer, then I will, I'm telling ya!
[15:41] Father Back Then
    How 'bout that!
[15:43] Father Back Then
    Well, listen, if you ever go pro...I'll bring a million roses to your first concert.
[15:49] Otsu As A Child
    You absolutely mean that?
[15:51] Father Back Then
    Yeah, I promise.
[15:58] Father
    She's forgotten by now, I'm sure.
[16:00] Father
    That was thirteen years ago.
[16:02] Father
    Even if she still remembered, she wouldn't want to.
[16:05] Father
    Not when she knows her pop's a killer.
[16:09] Father
    No telling how much she's suffered because of me.
[16:13] Father
    She probably doesn't even want to see my face.
[16:17] Father
    I'm going back. Besides, I forgot to buy the roses.
[16:23] Father
    Sorry for all the trouble.
[16:25] Kagura
    Gin!
[16:27] Gintoki
    What's up?
[16:28] Kagura
    Some guest went kablooey and freaked!
[16:33] Gintoki
    Speak normally.
[16:34] Gintoki
    I can't understand a word you're saying.
[16:36] Kagura
    In the concert hall. You see, there was an Amanto.
[16:40] Kagura
    And to make things worse,
[16:41] Kagura
    he was one of those Love-Cannibal-Clan Amanto that captures and feeds on the people he likes when he gets excited.
[16:48] Shineitai
    L-O-V-E O-tsu-u!
[16:54] No. 49
    I can't control myself anymore!
[16:59] Kagura
    And that's why I came to report it to you.
[17:03] Gintoki
    Why're you speaking standard Japanese now?
[17:10] Shineitai B
    Chief! Member number 49 has gone berserk!
[17:14] Shinpachi
    He was one of us?
[17:16] Shinpachi
    I thought he was some kind of inflatable mascot!
[17:18] Shineitai B
    Stop it, you bastard!
[17:20] No. 49
    Otsu!
[17:26] No. 49
    I'm so hungry.
[17:31] No. 49
    Otsu. Become one with me...in my stomach.
[17:36] Shinpachi
    Oh no, Otsu's in danger!
[17:40] Mother
    Let's get out of here quickly, Otsu!
[17:42] Otsu
    I can't. My legs won't move. What'll I do?
[17:51] Shinpachi
    Wh-Who is that?!
[17:53] Father
    Otsu, run away. Quick!
[18:04] Shinpachi
    Go! We've got to protect Otsu!
[18:11] Otsu
    Hang in there!
[18:14] Otsu
    Hang in there!
[18:19] Otsu
    Ah, he's awake.
[18:20] Mother
    What kind of nut are you? Pulling stunt like that?
[18:23] Otsu
    Uh...who are you?
[18:26] Father
    Just a fan of yours.
[18:41] Shinpachi
    Kagura!
[18:42] Shinpachi
    Came to help. Four straight weeks at the top.
[18:46] No. 49
    What're you doing?
[18:48] Gintoki
    That's what I want to ask you, Dining-kitchen.
[18:52] Shinpachi
    Gin!
[18:54] No. 49
    Stop getting in my way!
[18:57] Gintoki
    It's time you left the building. All the yakiniku you can eat.
[19:10] Shinpachi
    Hold it right there!
[19:12] Shinpachi
    Otsu, I'll protect you! The Daruma rolls!
[19:30] Father
    That guy...
[19:32] Gintoki
    Hey, old man.
[19:41] Gintoki
    That was all I could find.
[19:44] Gintoki
    It's not quite a million, so you'll really need to talk 'em up.
[19:51] Father (M)
    Bastard.
[19:54] Father (M)
    There's no way she'd remember that promise.
[20:03] Father (M)
    But at this point, does it really matter if she remembers or not?
[20:08] Father (M)
    I'll keep my promise for myself.
[20:18] Father (M)
    Otsu!
[20:21] Father (M)
    Take it all the way to the top.
[20:26] Otsu
    Um...
[20:28] Otsu
    next time, bring roses, okay?
[20:32] Otsu
    Until then, I'll be waiting on the stage, Dad.
[20:45] Gintoki
    Yo. Tearful parting go okay, pops?
[20:48] Father
    Idiot. This ain't a farewell.
[20:52] Father
    I'll come back to see you again for sure.
[20:58] Otsu
    Everyone! A lot's happened, but let's start over again! Figure-four lock.
[21:04] Crowd
    Over again!
[21:06] Otsu
    Okay, please listen.
[21:08] Otsu
    I dedicate this song to my father.
[21:12] Otsu
    "Your Father is Bleep-Bleep."
[21:14] Otsu
    Please listen. Indian Death Lock.
[21:56] Father (M)
    Next time, I'll come with my head held high.
SIGN    [New Television Program]
[24:00] Gintoki (N)
    In Kabukicho, Japanese hosts are on the decline
[24:04] Gintoki (N)
    due to the emergence of good-looking foreign hosts.
[24:07] Gintoki (N)
    But here are two men sporting their god-given gifts of blonde hair and butt-chin.
[24:12] Gintoki (N)
    The mysterious vagabond, Kintoki Sakata,
[24:15] Gintoki (N)
    and the former No. 1 host, the butt-chinned Shinpachi.
[24:18] Gintoki (N)
    Having gained a female Chinese Mafia boss as a their patron,
[24:20] Gintoki (N)
    the two men knife their way through the corrupt streets at night!
[24:24] Gintoki (N)
    A new show, "Kintama" starts next week!
[24:27] Shinpachi
    We're not even doing a show like that!
SIGN    [Episode 1: "This isn't cosmetic surgery, I was born with a butt-chin."]
SIGN    [The real next episode trailer as follows. Stay tuned!!]
SIGN    [Preview]
[24:40] Gintoki
    In Kabukicho, Japanese hosts are...
[24:42] Shinpachi
    Gin! Please be serious and tell us about the next episode!
[24:45] Gintoki
    All right. Man, what a pain.
[24:47] Gintoki
    The next episode: "Responsible Owners Should Clean Up After Their Pets."
[24:53] Gintoki
    Clean up after your pet, for Chrissakes!