E313 - Farewell Shinsengumi Arc Part Six: Undelivered Mail

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] (Flashback) Ymz
    Hey! The hell are you?
[00:03] (Flashback) Ymz
    You're the punk who's been sneaking
    around lately, aren't you?
SIGN    Note: This is Yamazaki Sagaru.
[00:06] (Flashback) Ymz
    You can't fool this Mountain Zaki's nose.
[00:08] (Flashback) Ymz
    Do you know what this place is?!
[00:10] (Flashback) Ymz
    Try anything funny, and the
    Roshigumi will arrest you—
[00:12] (Flashback) Hij
    You're the one who needs to be arrested.
SIGN    Roshigumi Applicants
[00:14] (Flashback) Ymz
    H-Hijikata-san?!
[00:15] (Flashback) Hij
    Are you trying to piss about,
    or are you trying to piss me off?
[00:18] (Flashback) Hij
    Either way, I'll gladly kick your ass.
[00:20] (Flashback) Hij
    If you don't want that, get back to training.
[00:22] (Flashback) Hij
    And do a thousand swings extra.
[00:24] (Flashback) Ymz
    Yes, sir!
[00:25] (Flashback) Ymz
    Yamazaki Sagaru, heading back right away!
[00:28] (Flashback) Hij
    One of our men seems to have
    been rude to you. I'm sorry.
[00:31] (Flashback) Hij
    Wait, aren't you...
[00:34] (Flashback) Sas
    How you've changed.
[00:35] (Flashback) Sas
    In just a few days, the stray
    dogs have been transformed
[00:39] (Flashback) Sas
    by a wolf that's mixed in with the pack.
[00:43] (Flashback) Sas
    What is his name?
[00:46] (Flashback) Hij
    Kondo Isao.
[00:49] (Flashback) Hij
    He's our general.
[00:53] (Flashback) Sas
    Kondo Isao...
[00:55] (Flashback) Sas
    He is both gentle and firm.
    A most mysterious man indeed.
SIGN    Farewell Shinsengumi Arc
    Part Six
SIGN    Undelivered Mail
[02:35] (Flashback) Hij
    Kondo Isao.
[02:38] (Flashback) Hij
    He's our general.
[02:40] [Messenger] ---
    I hope our child
    will be someone like that,
    and not a stiff like you.
SIGN    Watch the Farewell Shinsengumi Arc in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!!
[02:47] [Messenger] ---
    I hope our child
    will be someone like that,
    and not a stiff like you.
[02:49] [Messenger] ---
    Delete?
[02:51] (Flashback) Mat
    Oh?
[02:53] (Flashback) Mat
    That's a pretty trendy item you've
    got there. How unlike you.
[02:57] (Flashback) Sas
    L-Lord M-Matsudaira?!
[02:59] (Flashback) Mat
    Oh, yeah. You're newly wed, aren't you?
SIGN    Sasakawa's
[03:03] (Flashback) Mat
    The elite Sasaki is still human enough to
    flirt with his wife through email, huh?
[03:08] (Flashback) Sas
    Y-You've got it wrong!
[03:09] (Flashback) Sas
    She's at her parents' home for the birth,
    and it's easier to keep in touch—
[03:12] (Flashback) Mat
    Ah, so you're not flirting by email.
[03:15] (Flashback) Mat
    You already flirted to your heart's
    content someplace else, eh?
[03:18] (Flashback) Sas
    Knock it off!
[03:20] (Flashback) Sas
    I'm simply doing the bare
    minimum to keep in touch.
[03:23] (Flashback) Sas
    I don't even know how to type an email.
[03:25] (Flashback) Mat
    Unless you learn, you won't be able to
    seduce any girls in the era to come.
[03:29] (Flashback) Sas
    You're talking about cabaret
    girls, aren't you?!
[03:32] (Flashback) Sas
    What I want from you is your reply.
[03:36] (Flashback) Sas
    You've heard what they're saying, haven't you?
[03:40] (Flashback) Mat
    You mean the decree making
    them an official police force?
[03:44] (Flashback) Sas
    Yes. Ever since Kondo took charge,
    their work has been exemplary.
[03:50] (Flashback) Sas
    The brass want to bestow upon them a
    status befitting an important mission.
[03:54] (Flashback) Mat
    An important mission? Doing what, exactly?
[03:57] (Flashback) Sas
    Escorting the members of one
    of Tokugawa's three houses,
[04:00] (Flashback) Sas
    Lord Hitotsubashi Narinari
    and his son Nobunobu.
[04:04] (Flashback) Sas
    Or so they'll be told,
[04:07] (Flashback) Sas
    but they'll be attacked by rebels on the way.
[04:10] (Flashback) Sas
    Their job is to let the assassination succeed
[04:12] (Flashback) Sas
    and then take responsibility
    by disemboweling themselves.
[04:22] (Flashback) Mat
    That's not a job for police.
[04:25] (Flashback) Sas
    Exactly.
[04:27] (Flashback) Mat
    In order to eliminate the political enemies
    of Lord Sadasada, the current ruler,
[04:31] (Flashback) Mat
    you're telling me to
    sacrifice those stray dogs?
[04:35] (Flashback) Sas
    I suppose taking out one of
    the three Tokugawa houses
[04:37] (Flashback) Sas
    will require sufficient smoke and mirrors.
[04:41] (Flashback) Sas
    And it seems the brass never saw them
    as anything but sacrificial pawns.
[04:46] (Flashback) Mat
    What about you?
[04:48] (Flashback) Mat
    Do you still think that's all they're worth?
[04:55] (Flashback) Mat
    Talk about ironic.
[04:57] (Flashback) Mat
    We hold titles that are
    appropriate for samurai,
[05:00] (Flashback) Mat
    but we're too shackled by them to
    do anything befitting of samurai.
[05:05] (Flashback) Mat
    Unlike those guys, who try to act more
    like samurai than samurai themselves.
[05:10] (Flashback) Mat
    Who can say which of us
    are the real samurai here?
[05:15] (Flashback) Mat
    Sasaki, when is your child expected?
[05:19] (Flashback) Sas
    In a month's time.
[05:21] (Flashback) Mat
    I see.
[05:26] (Flashback) Mat
    In this era, you may not be able to do
    anything befitting a samurai or a father,
[05:32] (Flashback) Mat
    but you should at least
    respond to her emails.
[05:51] (Flashback) Oki
    What're we gonna do about the name?
[05:54] (Flashback) Hij
    The name? What are you talking about?
[05:56] (Flashback) Oki
    We can't call ourselves
    the Roshigumi anymore.
[06:00] (Flashback) Oki
    We're gonna become real samurai.
[06:04] (Flashback) Hij
    You're jumping the gun.
[06:07] (Flashback) Kon
    Either way, we came from Bushu with
    nothing but the clothes on our backs,
[06:12] (Flashback) Kon
    and finally made it this far.
[06:14] (Flashback) Sas
    What a coincidence.
[06:17] (Flashback) Sas
    I'm having a bit of trouble
    deciding on a name myself.
[06:22] [Messenger] ---
    It's almost time. Did you
    come up with a good name?
    I can't wait to see you
    with our child.
[06:22] (Flashback) Sas
    Oh, I'm talking about my child, though.
[06:25] (Flashback) Kon
    That's great news. Congrats.
[06:27] (Flashback) Sas
    But I have no idea how I should
    raise a child in this chaotic era,
[06:32] (Flashback) Sas
    or what kind of father I should be.
[06:36] (Flashback) Sas
    What kind of samurai do
    you people wish to be?
[06:43] (Flashback) Kon
    No idea.
[06:45] (Flashback) Kon
    Even after we become samurai,
[06:50] (Flashback) Kon
    and when the time comes
    for us to die as samurai,
[07:00] (Flashback) Kon
    we probably won't find an
    answer to that question.
[07:09] (Flashback) Kon
    But that's fine.
[07:15] (Flashback) Kon
    I believe that there isn't
    one true way of the samurai.
[07:20] (Flashback) Kon
    Losing your way, doubting yourself,
    seeking who you ought to be...
[07:24] (Flashback) Kon
    That attitude is what makes you a samurai.
[07:28] (Flashback) Kon
    So keep searching.
[07:30] (Flashback) Kon
    Keep struggling.
[07:32] (Flashback) Kon
    Choose your own true path and
[07:35] (Flashback) Kon
    push forward!
[07:39] (Flashback) Kon
    Yes, our name is...
[07:49] Hij
    The Shinsengumi!
[08:05] Mat
    Sasaki, you aren't exactly a
    goody-two-shoes yourself,
[08:09] Mat
    but don't underestimate how much of a
    scumbag a real Commissioner-General can be!
[08:16] Hij
    Commissioner-General,
[08:17] Hij
    you shouldn't control an organization
    you're not fit to lead.
[08:21] Hij
    If you can't remember how
    any of your men look,
[08:24] Hij
    you won't be able to babysit
    a bunch of thornies.
[08:32] Hij
    We're taking our general back.
[08:41] Kon
    Toshi...
[08:42] Hij
    Sorry to have kept you waiting, Kondo-san.
[08:45] Kon
    I'm the one who should be sorry.
[08:47] Kon
    My incompetence is what caused all this.
[08:50] Hij
    We're the same as you.
[08:53] Hij
    After all the agonizing and fretting we did,
[08:56] Hij
    we ended up back here again.
[09:01] Kon
    I see.
[09:03] Kon
    If we're dawdling about here,
[09:05] Kon
    then I guess we're still a long
    way off from our true paths.
[09:09] Hij
    Yeah, no doubt.
[09:11] Hij
    But there's one thing we've realized.
[09:13] Hij
    Be it our true path or a twisted one...
[09:17] Hij
    So long as we get to walk by your side,
[09:21] Hij
    we don't care where we go.
[09:25] Hij
    This is the path we chose, Kondo-san.
[09:32] Kon
    Then let's walk together.
[09:34] Kon
    Even if the road we walk takes us to Hell.
[09:38] Kon
    I will never let you guys go again.
[09:41] Kon
    Live with me and die with me,
[09:43] Kon
    Shinsengumi!
[09:48] Hij
    Out of the way, Sasaki!
[09:52] Sas
    If you wish to see the continuation of
    your dream, then force your way through.
[09:57] Sas
    Even if it means trampling
    over the dreams of others.
[10:32] Nob
    Why?
[10:33] Nob
    Why do you fight?
[10:36] Nob
    Why do you resist?
[10:38] Nob
    You Shinsengumi were supposed to
    vanish before you even came to be.
[10:42] Nob
    So why?
[10:44] Nob
    Why do you point your blades at Isaburo?
[10:48] Nob
    Why does Isaburo alone have to...
[10:56] [Messenger] ---
    Are you still having trouble
    deciding on a name? I'd be
    fine with any name you suggest.
[11:02] (Flashback) Sas
    Hey, whippersnapper.
[11:03] (Flashback) Sas
    You shouldn't eat up there.
[11:09] (Flashback) Nob
    I don't want to be told what or
    where to eat when I'm outside.
[11:14] (Flashback) Sak
    Sasaki-dono.
[11:17] (Flashback) Sas
    Sakon-dono, this isn't what I was told.
[11:20] (Flashback) Sak
    You mean this isn't an appropriate place
    to secretly plan an assassination?
[11:24] (Flashback) Sak
    Rest assured.
[11:26] (Flashback) Sak
    Those kids are the ones
    most suited to kill here.
[11:30] (Flashback) Sak
    They were taken in by Tenshoin Naraku
    and raised as killing machines.
[11:37] (Flashback) Sak
    In particular, that Mukuro girl is
    the bastard child of death itself.
[11:41] (Flashback) Sak
    She's skilled enough at her young age to
    be called one of the Three Wings of Naraku.
[11:46] (Flashback) Sak
    Are you dissatisfied?
[11:48] (Flashback) Sak
    Surely you don't mean to say you
    don't want to make children kill?
[11:54] (Flashback) Nob
    Are you going to do it or not?
[11:56] (Flashback) Nob
    Is it messed up for ignorant
    children to kill people?
[12:00] (Flashback) Nob
    Or is it more messed up for
    knowledgeable adults to kill people?
[12:04] (Flashback) Nob
    I'm a child, and yet I kill.
[12:07] [Messenger] ---
    Are you still having trouble
    deciding on a name? I'd be
    fine with any name you suggest.
[12:08] (Flashback) Nob
    You kill, and yet you worry about what
    name to give a child soon to be born.
[12:13] (Flashback) Nob
    We've both strayed off the right path.
[12:41] Obo
    You guys don't know when to give up.
[12:45] Obo
    Sasaki Isaburo...
[12:47] Obo
    That viper in our bosom.
[12:52] Obo
    His goal isn't to solidify the new
    government or his own position.
[12:57] Obo
    All he wants...
[13:00] (Flashback) Sak
    The plan will be put into
    motion on April 13th.
[13:03] (Flashback) Sak
    Escorting the targets will be the
    Roshigumi-turned-Shinsengumi.
[13:06] (Flashback) Sak
    Create an opening in a post town.
[13:08] (Flashback) Sak
    Ten seconds will be enough for those
    kids to take the father and son's heads.
[13:12] (Flashback) Sak
    The Shinsengumi may be sacrificed.
[13:15] (Flashback) Sak
    They'll end up having to
    disembowel themselves anyway.
[13:17] (Flashback) Kon
    All right, let's take a break here.
[13:20] (Flashback) Hij
    What about Lord Hitotsubashi, Kondo-san?
[13:23] (Flashback) Kon
    Matsudaira said not to let him out of the
    palanquin 'til we reach the destination.
[13:27] (Flashback) Hij
    Sheesh. So he basically told
    us not to take breaks, either?
[13:30] (Flashback) Kon
    This is the Shinsengumi's first mission.
[13:33] (Flashback) Kon
    We have to make sure it succeeds
    and show off our strength.
[13:38] (Flashback) Kon
    What?
[13:39] (Flashback) Kid
    Sorry!
[13:41] (Flashback) Kid
    Throw the ball back, old man!
[13:43] (Flashback) Kon
    Who are you calling an old man?!
[13:46] (Flashback) Hij
    A VIP's riding in that palanquin.
    Stay away from it.
[13:50] (Flashback) Hij
    Go play somewhere else, kid.
[13:52] (Flashback) Kid
    Oh, but...
[13:54] (Flashback) Kid
    There are scary old men with
    swords hiding all over the place.
[13:58] (Flashback) Hij
    Is that true, kid?
[14:00] (Flashback) Kon
    Could it be an ambush?
[14:01] (Flashback) Hij
    Hey! Check the area at once!
[14:04] (Flashback) Kon
    Where are those scary old men, kid—
[14:09] (Flashback) Kon
    Don't tell me!
[14:09] (Flashback) Hij
    Stop right there, kid!
[14:14] (Flashback) Kon
    I believe that there isn't
    one true way of the samurai.
[14:18] (Flashback) Kon
    Losing your way, doubting yourself,
    seeking who you ought to be...
[14:22] (Flashback) Kon
    That attitude is what makes you a samurai.
[14:25] (Flashback) Kon
    So feel free to doubt and lose
    yourself as much as you want.
[14:31] (Flashback) Kon
    About the baby's name, I mean.
[14:32] (Flashback) Kon
    That's how fathers are supposed
    to be, don't you think?
SIGN    O-Ero
[14:44] (Flashback) Kid
    Um, Lord Hitotsubashi,
    I bought the book you asked for.
[14:48] (Flashback) Mat
    Oh, good work.
[14:53] (Flashback) Kid
    Sorry, I was asked to do this.
[14:55] (Flashback) Kid
    A long-faced old man told me he'd pay me
    to deliver the porn mag to the palanquin.
[15:02] (Flashback) G
    E-Enemy attack!
[15:04] (Flashback) G
    For real this time!
[15:05] (Flashback) G
    Joi Rebels were lying in wait to ambush us!
[15:07] (Flashback) Kon
    Don't let them near the palanquin!
[15:10] (Flashback) Kon
    Let's roll, men!
[15:16] (Flashback) Mat
    Hey, I asked for a hardcore masochism book.
[15:20] (Flashback) Sas
    If you were killed holding something like that,
    your reputation would be ruined,
[15:23] (Flashback) Sas
    Lord Hitotsubashi—I mean, Lord Matsudaira.
[15:26] (Flashback) Mat
    Shut up, Long-Faced Old Man.
[15:30] (Flashback) Sas
    I leaked information to the Joi Rebels.
[15:33] (Flashback) Sas
    If you're lucky, they'll attack
    before the assassins do.
[15:38] (Flashback) Mat
    They already have.
[15:39] (Flashback) Mat
    Are you sure this will
    prevent the assassination?
[15:43] (Flashback) Sas
    If the assassination ends in
    failure due to unforeseen events,
[15:45] (Flashback) Sas
    the higher-ups won't be able to blame anyone.
[15:47] (Flashback) Sas
    So basically, their fate
    rests in their own hands.
[15:52] (Flashback) Sas
    Goodbye, then.
[15:53] (Flashback) Mat
    Wait, Sasaki.
[15:54] (Flashback) Mat
    Why did you lend us a hand?
[15:58] (Flashback) Sas
    I don't recall ever offering
    you a helping hand.
[16:01] (Flashback) Sas
    I only used my fingers to send emails.
[16:04] (Flashback) Sas
    I practiced using my cell phone, you see.
[16:06] [Messenger] ---
    It's a healthy baby girl.
    Sadly, she's inherited
    your long face, but she's
    very cute.
[16:06] (Flashback) Sas
    Anyway, I need to respond to my wife now.
[16:11] (Flashback) Sas
    I may not be able to become a
    fine samurai or a fine father,
[16:18] (Flashback) Sas
    but I do want to give her a fine name.
[16:31] Oki
    Sasaki saved us?
[16:35] Nob
    Not just you.
[16:37] Nob
    Back then, I think Isaburo
    tried to save us kids, too.
[16:41] Nob
    But there was nobody to save him.
[16:46] Nob
    Nobody could.
[16:51] (Flashback) Sas
    I finally thought of a nice name.
[16:54] (Flashback) Sas
    I'm sure you'll like this one, too.
[16:58] (Flashback) Sas
    When are you getting here?
SIGN    Sending failed.
[17:01] (Flashback) Sas
    Email me once you're nearby.
[17:04] (Flashback) Sas
    Actually, email me even if you're far away.
SIGN    Sending failed.
SIGN    Sending failed.
[17:07] (Flashback) Sas
    I will come pick you up wherever you are.
[17:37] (Flashback) Sas
    I will come pick up
[17:39] (Flashback) Sas
    both you and Nobume.
[18:01] Obo
    The crow didn't kill its target.
[18:06] Obo
    And Sasaki didn't kill his.
[18:09] Obo
    Because he saw at the time the
    enemy he really ought to cut down.
[18:15] Obo
    He's trying to dye this era
    in the colors of rebellion.
[18:20] Obo
    By making you guys start a revolt,
[18:22] Obo
    he's trying to end the samurai
    era, along with himself.
[18:28] Obo
    He is but a rebel, just like you people.
[18:44] Hij
    What's going on?
[18:49] Sas
    Playing the villain is no
    walk in the park, I must say.
[18:54] Sas
    I have enemies all over the place.
[18:56] Sas
    It doesn't seem like anyone's willing
    to be my mail buddy, either.
[19:01] Sas
    Very well.
[19:02] Sas
    As the evil overlord, I shall
    take you all on at once.
[19:06] Sas
    But Hijikata-san...
[19:09] Sas
    I can't take on a demon
    like you while distracted.
[19:12] Sas
    Could you please wait a while?
[19:18] Nob
    Isaburo fired a burning arrow
    of rebellion at society.
[19:22] Nob
    But Naraku's trying to extinguish
    every last spark of it.
[19:27] Nob
    That's why Isaburo
[19:33] Nob
    plans on using the flames being lit here.
[19:40] Nob
    He wants to destroy everything and
    significantly weaken the country.
[19:47] Oki
    Are you gonna sit back and watch your
    general commit suicide with the country?
[19:52] Nob
    That is my duty.
[19:58] (Flashback) Sas
    Why didn't you cut me down, whippersnapper?
[20:01] (Flashback) Sas
    Back then, you said we were already
    murderers who'd strayed off the right path.
[20:07] (Flashback) Sas
    Well, you were right.
[20:10] (Flashback) Sas
    Right now, I feel no hesitation
    to kill a child like you.
[20:15] (Flashback) Sas
    So why...
[20:17] (Flashback) Sas
    Why are you shedding those?
[20:20] (Flashback) Nob
    I don't know.
[20:22] (Flashback) Nob
    I don't know where these are coming from.
[20:26] (Flashback) Nob
    I don't know why I can't cut you down.
[20:28] (Flashback) Nob
    I don't know why I must kill all of you.
[20:32] (Flashback) Nob
    A certain someone once told me something...
[20:36] (Flashback) Nob
    He said people are born weak,
[20:39] (Flashback) Nob
    but we have the freedom to defy our weaknesses
    and struggle to change ourselves.
[20:49] (Flashback) Nob
    Maybe that's why.
[20:51] (Flashback) Nob
    You were struggling with all your might.
[20:55] (Flashback) Nob
    I must struggle, too.
[20:58] (Flashback) Nob
    I don't deserve to kill you.
[21:01] (Flashback) Nob
    The only thing I deserve
    is to be killed by you.
[21:10] (Flashback) Sas
    If you wish to be cut down, then I won't.
[21:15] (Flashback) Sas
    What I really need to cut down
[21:18] (Flashback) Sas
    is this era where the country
    commits such acts of brutality.
[21:22] (Flashback) Sas
    And myself, for being unable to
    protect anything from this era.
[21:29] (Flashback) Sas
    Keep swinging your sword for my sake.
[21:33] (Flashback) Sas
    And when the time comes, use it to kill me.
[21:39] (Flashback) Sas
    That is my vengeance.
[21:45] Nob
    Yes, that is my duty.
[21:49] Nob
    Even though I took everything from
    Isaburo, I couldn't cut him down.
[21:54] Nob
    I made him live on.
[21:56] Nob
    But this time, for sure, I must kill him.
[22:00] Nob
    I have to put an end to that man.
[22:05] Kag
    Stop right there!
[22:08] Kag
    That's enough.
[22:10] Kag
    You two have done enough.
SIGN    To Be Continued
SIGN    Farewell Shinsengumi Arc
    Part Seven
[23:45] G
    Just who...
[23:46] Obo
    It wouldn't be any fun otherwise.
[23:46] Gin
    Who the hell is that?!
SIGN    Karma
[23:47] G
    You know.
[23:49] ---
    In the past, Sasaki chose to uphold
    his pride as samurai,
[23:49] ---
    deceived the Tendoshu,
    and lost everything.
[23:56] ---
    As Gintoki and the rest keep
    struggling against their fates,
[23:56] ---
    a reaper, a crow, suddenly
    swoops down before them.