E299 - Strike When the Sword and Overlord are Hot / Oil Rain

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Swordsmith
[01:30] Te
    Apparently they discovered a
    new metal on a remote planet.
SIGN    Tetsuko's request: Watch this program in a bright room
    and at a safe distance from your TV.
[01:34] Te
    As a smith, I really want to get some of it.
[01:37] Te
    So look after the store while I'm gone.
[01:39] Te
    I'm counting on you all.
[01:43] Gin
    What a weirdo.
[01:46] Gin
    She's looking for orichalcum in
    this era of sword prohibition?
[01:49] Shin
    But she doesn't seem to
    be short on customers.
[01:51] Shin
    I wonder what they're like.
[01:53] Gin
    Let's see...
[01:57] Gin
    This is a fine sword, but it shows
    no sign of use whatsoever.
[02:00] Gin
    Its owner must be a bakufu official
    who slings it on his waist as an accessory.
[02:05] Gin
    This one's unsigned, but has
    been reforged several times.
[02:08] Gin
    I'd say it's a radical Joi
    rebel's weapon of choice.
[02:11] Kag
    Then, Gin-chan...
[02:13] Kag
    What kind of person would you
    say was using this sword?
[02:16] Gin
    That's a sword of destruction
    that a soldier picked up
[02:19] Gin
    without knowing it was cursed,
    couldn't unequip it,
[02:21] Gin
    and thus kept using it.
[02:23] Shin
    The owner came along with it!
[02:25] Kag
    What? This isn't a strap?
[02:28] Shin
    Why would you use the corpse
    of a soldier as a strap?!
[02:30] Shin
    Who in their right mind—
[02:31] H
    Pardon me.
[02:33] H
    I'd asked for a sword to be
    repaired. Is it done yet?
[02:37] Shin
    A customer from a whole
    different setting showed up!
SIGN    Strike When the Sword
    and Overlord are Hot
SIGN    Swordsmith
[02:42] H
    I see.
[02:43] H
    So Tetsuko-dono isn't around.
[02:45] H
    Pardon the late introduction.
SIGN    Hero Lotosix
[02:47] H
    I'm Hero Lotosix, from the planet Hero.
[02:51] H
    The Galactic Overlord, Tiramisu,
    threatens the peace of the galaxy,
[02:54] H
    so I'm on a journey to take him down.
[02:56] H
    But in the midst of our travels,
[02:57] H
    the soldier Takeshi equipped a cursed
    weapon, leading to this situation.
[03:02] Shin
    Uh, instead of a smithy,
[03:03] Shin
    shouldn't you visit a
    church to lift the curse?
SIGN    Lift Curse Revive
[03:07] H
    The sword of destruction may be cursed,
    but it's a powerful weapon.
[03:10] H
    I wanted this corpse removed
    so that the sword may be used.
[03:13] Shin
    That's what you asked for?
    And you call yourself a Hero?!
[03:16] Gin
    But the sword of destruction
    is usable this way.
[03:19] Gin
    You can get rid of the corpse,
    but the curse won't go anywhere.
[03:23] Gin
    So instead of using it directly,
[03:26] Gin
    equip it along with Takeshi.
[03:27] Shin
    Takeshi will curse you!
[03:29] H
    I see!
[03:31] H
    This way, Takeshi can rest in peace, too!
[03:36] Shin
    You're only using Takeshi at this point!
[03:38] H
    No wonder this smithy is
    renowned across the galaxy.
[03:41] H
    Please, use your considerable skill
    to grant another of my requests.
[03:45] H
    The only thing capable of defeating
    the Galactic Overlord, Tiramisu,
[03:47] H
    is a sword that only the
    Hero of legend may draw,
[03:51] H
    the Galactic Holy Sword, Cosmos.
[03:53] H
    But it has remained dormant for so long,
    it has been considerably damaged.
[03:58] H
    I'd like you to reforge this sword.
[04:00] Shin
    You haven't drawn it out!
[04:01] Shin
    That thing doesn't recognize
    you as the Hero at all!
[04:03] Shin
    You just ripped out the
    sword along with the rock!
[04:05] H
    The Overlord draws ever nearer.
[04:08] H
    Since time was running out,
    I went at it with an excavator.
[04:10] Shin
    What kind of Hero are you?!
[04:11] Shin
    Just go defeat the Overlord
    with your excavator!
[04:14] H
    The final battle is almost upon us.
[04:15] H
    Please hurry.
SIGN    Swordsmith
[04:17] H
    Ready it while we get some rest at an inn.
[04:19] Shin
    Wait a second!
[04:20] Shin
    Take Takeshi with you!
[04:24] Shin
    What do we do, Gin-san?
[04:25] Kag
    The fate of the universe is riding on this.
[04:27] Kag
    We can't ignore it.
[04:28] Gin
    If it's just yanking the sword out,
    we could handle it ourselves.
[04:32] Shin
    But this is a legendary sword that
    even the Hero couldn't yank out.
[04:35] Gin
    Well, we have legendary dom queens here.
[04:37] Shin
    Yank, not wank!
[04:42] Shin
    It really won't budge an inch.
[04:44] Kag
    You can't think of it as yanking
    the sword out of the rock.
[04:47] Kag
    Just remove the rock from the sword!
[04:50] Shin
    She broke it!
[04:51] Shin
    She broke the legendary sword!
[04:54] Kag
    So this is the legendary jackknife...
[04:57] Shin
    I've never heard of that before!
[04:59] Kag
    With this jackknife, slitting the
    Overlord's throat should be a cinch.
[05:02] Shin
    I've never heard of the Hero taking on
    the Overlord with a jackknife!
[05:05] Shin
    What do we do about this?
[05:06] Shin
    At this rate, the Hero's
    gonna lose to the Overlord!
[05:08] O
    Pardon me!
[05:10] Shin
    Wh-Who are you people?!
[05:13] O
    So you're the so-called
    finest smiths in the galaxy?
[05:19] O
    Um, I have an appointment.
[05:20] O
    I'm Galactic Overlord Tiramisu.
SIGN    Galactic Overlord Tiramisu
[05:22] O
    I brought my sword, so could
    you take a look at it?
[05:25] Shin
    Y...
[05:26] Shin
    You, too?!
[05:28] O
    The thing is...
[05:29] O
    I'm plotting to take over the universe,
[05:32] O
    but this Hero stands in my way.
[05:35] O
    The only thing that can defeat the Hero
    is the Evil Galactic Sword, Machinas,
[05:39] O
    which only the true Overlord may draw.
[05:41] O
    I got my hands on that legendary evil
    sword, which is all well and good,
[05:45] O
    but it has remained dormant for ten thousand
    years and has grown completely rusted.
[05:49] Shin
    Where the hell did you stick it?
SIGN    Canned Peaches
[05:50] Shin
    Were you trying to open
    a can of peaches with it?
[05:52] O
    I could not hope to duel the Hero
    with the sword in this state.
[05:55] O
    I want you to reforge it at once.
[05:57] O
    To help you with the job,
[06:00] O
    I shall leave one of my men,
    Rotting Kiyoshi, with you.
SIGN    A Rotting Kiyoshi appeared!
[06:03] Sign
    Finish the job before Kiyoshi
    completely rots away.
[06:06] Sign
    I'm counting on you.
[06:07] Shin
    He's not gonna be of any help!
[06:08] Shin
    This is just harassment!
[06:11] Shin
    First the Hero,
[06:12] Shin
    and now even the Overlord
    left his sword with us.
[06:15] Shin
    You're breaking that one, too?!
[06:17] Gin
    Of course.
[06:18] Gin
    If one of the swords were shorter than
    the other, they'd find out we broke it.
[06:22] Gin
    But if they were of similar length,
[06:24] Gin
    they'd think that's how
    legends go, and shrug it off.
[06:26] Shin
    As if!
[06:27] Shin
    What are they, legendary idiots?!
[06:28] Shin
    If they find out, they'll demand a
    legendary amount of compensation!
[06:32] Gin
    Hey, isn't the Hero's sword a bit longer here?
[06:34] Kag
    We should give the Hero an advantage.
[06:37] Gin
    You moron! Smiths don't take sides!
[06:40] Gin
    A smith only focuses on striking the
    metal in front of him with all his might!
[06:43] Shin
    I don't want to hear that from a guy
    breaking swords with all his might.
[06:46] Gin
    Break off a little more from the Hero's sword.
[06:50] Kag
    Huh?
[06:51] Kag
    Now the Overlord's is longer.
[06:55] Gin
    The Hero's is longer again.
[06:58] Kag
    The Overlord's is longer again.
[07:00] Gin
    This is harder than I thought.
[07:05] Gin
    So these are...
[07:07] Bo
    ...the legendary beam sabers!
[07:09] Shin
    You're not fooling anyone!
[07:10] Shin
    They were better off being stuck
    in a rock and a can of peaches!
[07:13] Gin
    That's it!
[07:14] Gin
    Let's stick them back in something
    to hide their lengths.
[07:20] Gin
    We'll say that when we removed
    the rock and a can of peaches,
[07:21] Gin
    they were stuck in a Hero and an Overlord.
[07:23] Shin
    That's Takeshi and Kiyoshi!
[07:25] Kag
    All right.
[07:25] Kag
    Now if we give the Overlord's
    corpse to the Hero
[07:28] Kag
    and the Hero's corpse to the Overlord when
    we return the swords, it'll all be settled.
[07:31] Gin
    But there's just one problem.
[07:35] Gin
    We have the Hero's and the Overlord's swords,
[07:37] Gin
    but which was which?
[07:39] H
    How many times do I have to tell you?!
SIGN    A Hero appeared! A Wizard appeared! A Fighter appeared!
[07:42] H
    Don't walk in a line! Move side by side!
[07:46] G
    Ever since he equipped the legendary sword,
[07:48] G
    he's become so aggressive,
    he's like a totally different person.
[07:51] G
    His breath smells kinda sweet,
[07:53] G
    and he even emits freezing
    waves every now and then.
[07:56] O
    How many times do I have to tell you guys?!
[07:59] O
    Walk in a single line!
[08:00] O
    Anyone who steps out of
    line gets sent to the cart!
[08:03] G
    Everything's changed since he
    got his hands on that sword.
[08:07] G
    Lately, he's been calling us his "party,"
[08:10] G
    and opening chests in people's
    homes without permission.
SIGN    Swordsmith
[08:13] Shin
    They totally got swapped!
[08:15] Shin
    We've gotta return them to normal quick!
[08:17] Kag
    Does it really matter?
[08:19] Kag
    Heroes and Overlords aren't all that different.
[08:21] Gin
    It's like how at the end of people's lives,
[08:23] Gin
    you can't tell if grandpas and
    grannies are men or women.
[08:27] Shin
    It's nothing like that!
[08:29] Shin
    At any rate, we should return the
    swords to their original owners.
[08:32] Gin
    I don't mind,
[08:34] Gin
    but whose sides were Takeshi and Kiyoshi on?
[08:38] Ki
    Hey, Hero.
[08:41] Ki
    Off to the cart with you.
[08:43] Ki
    You've forgotten that your job
    is to take out the Overlord.
[08:46] Ki
    You have no right to lead a party!
[08:48] Ki
    Get lost!
[08:50] W
    Our great Hero, Kiyoshi-sama!
[08:51] Ki
    I'm no Hero.
[08:54] Ki
    In the past, I was defeated by the Overlord
[08:56] Ki
    and manipulated without being allowed to die.
[08:58] Ki
    I'm nothing but a filthy puppet!
[09:00] Ki
    I'm nothing but rotten Kiyoshi.
[09:02] Ki
    But now that the holy sword
    has revived me, I understand.
[09:07] Ki
    What's truly filthy and rotten
[09:10] Ki
    is your heart, Overlord!
[09:14] Ta
    What's wrong, Tiramisu?
[09:16] O
    Nothing, sire.
[09:18] Ta
    Do your scars ache?
[09:20] Ta
    So do mine.
[09:21] Ta
    The curse inside me and
[09:23] Ta
    this sword of destruction bay for the blood
[09:25] Ta
    of the Hero, who left me to die because
    he was too cheap to pay the church's fee.
[09:32] Ta
    The final battle draws near.
[09:34] Ta
    Do not forget to keep your weapons in shape.
[09:35] O
    Yes, great Overlord Takeshi-sama!
[09:39] Ki
    I have returned.
[09:39] Ta
    I have returned.
[09:40] Shin
    Who are you?!
[09:42] Shin
    The legendary swords revived
    something outrageous!
[09:45] Gin
    So, which is Takeshi and which is Kiyoshi?
[09:47] Shin
    Does it matter?!
[09:49] Gin
    Haven't they gotten a lot bigger
    since the last time we saw them?
[09:51] Kag
    That one's a bit longer.
[09:53] Kag
    That's not fair.
[09:57] Gin
    No good.
[09:57] Gin
    Now this one's bigger.
[10:00] Shin
    Wait, Gin-san...
[10:02] Kag
    Now this one's bigger again.
[10:08] Gin
    So these are...
[10:09] Bo
    ...the legendary beam sabers!
[10:11] Shin
    We're back to square one!
[10:13] Shin
    Do you guys have to keep striking
    until the blade's gone each time?!
[10:16] Gin
    I told you,
[10:17] Gin
    a smith only focuses on striking
    metal with all he's got.
[10:20] Shin
    I get it now.
[10:20] Shin
    You guys aren't cut out to be smiths!
[10:22] Te
    Nah, you might be surprisingly good fits.
[10:25] Shin
    Tetsuko-san!
[10:27] Shin
    Thanks for looking after the store.
[10:28] Shin
    Unfortunately, I couldn't find
    any of that legendary metal,
[10:32] Shin
    but thanks to you, I discovered
    something even better.
[10:37] Shin
    These swords were forged to prevent conflict.
[10:40] Shin
    They are undeniably legendary swords.
[10:42] Shin
    Try giving them these.
[10:45] Shin
    I'm sure your feelings will reach them.
[10:52] O
    This is no time to be
    fighting among ourselves.
[10:55] H
    Yes.
[10:56] H
    We have more important things to do.
[11:00] O
    Change of plans, men!
SIGN    Fight Switch Flee Tactics
[11:03] H
    The Hero party and Overlord
    army will cooperate
SIGN    Go Hard Go Easy Go All-Out Follow Orders
[11:06] H
    and go all-out to demand compensation!
SIGN    Fight Switch Flee Tactics
[11:14] Te
    I don't know about that conflict, though.
[11:31] Ta
    Excuse me.
[11:33] Ta
    Mind if I stand next to you for a
    while and take shelter from the rain?
[11:37] Ta
    We both have it rough, don't we?
[11:40] Ta
    Moisture is the natural enemy of us machines.
[11:43] Ta
    If only it rained oil,
[11:47] Ta
    we could be free, too.
[11:51] Ta
    Oh, looks like it's let up.
[11:54] Ta
    I'll be taking my leave, then.
[11:56] Ta
    Let's both do our best at our jobs.
SIGN    Oil Rain
SIGN    Cigarettes
[12:05] Tam
    Excuse me.
[12:07] Tam
    A carton of Fair Weather cigarettes, please.
[12:10] BB
    Tama-chan?
[12:12] BB
    I guess this will be your
    last errand to this place.
[12:15] BB
    Take this chance to tell
    Tose to quit smoking.
[12:19] Tam
    So you are closing up shop?
[12:23] BB
    Never thought that poison-smoking
    hag would outlast me.
[12:28] Tam
    Otose-sama says, "I'll wait however long
    it takes to get your illness cured.
[12:32] Tam
    I'd hate to see a shop that sells
    Fair Weather go away forever,
[12:35] Tam
    so come back, even if you have to
    do it as a vending machine."
[12:39] BB
    Even if I reopened this seedy shop,
[12:40] BB
    the only customers I'd
    have would be weird hags.
[12:44] BB
    My partner and I, we've both grown too old.
[12:47] BB
    It's high time we called it quits.
[12:50] Tam
    Partner?
[12:51] BB
    Yeah.
[12:52] BB
    The junk heap that's worked with me for years
[12:54] BB
    and gotten even more broken down than I have.
[12:57] BB
    Now it's just scrap metal that's
    taking shelter from the rain.
[13:00] Hij
    Hey, Gran.
[13:01] Hij
    I put some cash in, but I'm not getting
    any cigarettes or change back.
[13:04] Hij
    What's going on here?
[13:05] BB
    How many times do I have to tell you?
[13:07] BB
    That thing isn't too good at math,
[13:09] BB
    so you have to pay it in exact change!
[13:11] Hij
    How can a vending machine be bad at math?
[13:14] BB
    Not there! Here!
[13:17] Hij
    Oh, something came out.
[13:19] Hij
    Isn't this mine?
[13:22] Hij
    Hold on a second!
[13:23] Hij
    Why is this vending machine
    smoking my cigarettes?!
[13:26] BB
    You probably put it in a foul mood
    by kicking it in the wrong place.
[13:29] Hij
    A vending machine shouldn't be sulking!
[13:31] Hij
    Gimme back my cigs and money!
[13:33] BB
    Don't you dare give him
    any change, you junk heap!
[13:35] Hij
    You two are in cahoots, aren't you?!
[13:37] Tam
    Please cease your violent behavior.
[13:42] Tam
    No machine is junk.
[13:45] Tam
    Its body can no longer keep
    up with its heart, is all.
[13:49] Tam
    It's all right.
[13:50] Tam
    You can let everything out today.
[13:53] Tam
    I'll listen to it all.
[13:57] BB
    It let something else out!
[14:00] Tam
    It's hungover, it seems.
[14:02] BB
    Which vending machine did this
    vending machine buy One Cup from?!
[14:05] Hij
    So it can still do its job if it tries.
[14:07] Hij
    Now I won't have to buy
    cigarettes for a while.
[14:10] BB
    You thief!
[14:12] BB
    Somebody call the police!
[14:14] Hij
    I am the police. What do you want?
SIGN    Cigarettes
[14:26] Tam
    Huh?
[14:27] Tam
    My umbrella suddenly won't open.
[14:30] Tam
    What do I do?
[14:31] Tam
    The ingredients will get soaked.
[14:34] Tam
    Excuse me.
[14:35] Tam
    Mind if I take shelter
    from the rain for a while?
[14:39] Tam
    That doesn't count as slacking
    off from the job, right?
SIGN    For personal reasons,
    we'll be closed
    for a while.
    - Owner
[14:48] Tam
    Don't worry.
[14:49] Tam
    I'm sure she'll be healthy again in no time.
[14:52] Tam
    So please don't think you've been abandoned.
[14:56] Tam
    You're not scrap metal.
[15:00] Tam
    After all,
[15:03] Tam
    you have a customer who needs you right here.
[15:08] Tam
    But a carton for 500 yen is too generous.
[15:13] Tam
    Sell one at a time in the future.
[15:15] Tam
    That way, I'll be able to come every day.
[15:22] Tam
    Are you crying?
[15:28] Tam
    Let's both do our best at our jobs.
SIGN    Snack Otose
[15:33] Gin
    Huh?
[15:34] Gin
    Tama got a boyfriend?
[15:36] Gin
    A boy...
[15:38] Gin
    Wait, does gender even apply to machines?
[15:41] Oto
    You men are too dense.
[15:44] Oto
    You can't pull the wool over
    a woman's eyes, though.
[15:47] Gin
    A woman's eyes?
[15:48] Gin
    Wait, does gender even apply to hags?
[15:53] Oto
    Every time I send her out
    to buy cigarettes lately,
[15:56] Oto
    she always comes back late.
[15:58] Oto
    With the wrong brand, even.
[16:00] Oto
    Also...
SIGN    How to Talk to Quiet People
[16:03] Oto
    She's been skimming through some
    weird data when she has time.
[16:06] Gin
    She's just brushing up
    on her customer service.
[16:08] Gin
    You're overthinking this.
[16:10] Oto
    I'm just worried she fell for a bad guy.
[16:13] Oto
    Besides, don't you think it's strange that
[16:15] Oto
    someone as careful as her
    would forget her umbrella?
[16:20] Gin
    Beats me.
[16:22] Gin
    She's probably taking shelter
    from the rain somewhere.
[16:29] G
    What? It's closed?
[16:31] G
    Oh, well. Guess I'll have to
    use the junk vending machine.
[16:37] Tam
    One pack of cigarettes. 90 yen in change.
[16:41] G
    Now that's unusual. It actually worked!
SIGN    Cigarettes
[16:49] Tam
    Two packs of cigarettes. 180 yen in change.
[16:54] Has
    I finally picked up this pocket change, but...
[16:57] Tam
    One butt.
[16:59] Hij
    I wonder if I'll get lucky again.
[17:01] Tam
    One point.
[17:02] Has
    Why are we being singled out?!
[17:04] Hij
    Why are you barking out
    weird orders from the side?!
[17:06] Tam
    What are you talking about?
[17:08] Tam
    I'm only taking shelter from the rain.
[17:11] Bo
    You'll pay for this!
[17:14] G
    It's always like that.
[17:17] G
    She comes to buy cigarettes
    without an umbrella in this rain,
[17:20] G
    and stands there talking
    to the vending machine.
[17:23] G
    She's even given it the
    nickname "Tobako-san."
[17:26] Gin
    Tobako, eh?
[17:29] Gin
    Thanks. You were a great help.
[17:31] G
    Wait up, Boss!
[17:32] G
    What exactly is going on there?
[17:35] Gin
    Isn't it obvious?
[17:37] Gin
    They're just friends.
[17:44] Tam
    Oh, the rain's let up.
[17:46] Tam
    I'll be leaving, then.
[17:54] Tam
    Tobako-san?
[17:56] Tam
    Don't worry.
[17:58] Tam
    I'll be back to buy
    cigarettes again tomorrow.
[18:02] Tam
    No...
[18:04] Tam
    Cigarettes or no cigarettes, I'll be back
[18:06] Tam
    to take shelter from the rain.
[18:14] Tam
    Huh?
SIGN    Fair Weather
[18:15] Tam
    This is...
[18:16] Tam
    Tobako-san, did you keep this from me
    because you thought I would stop coming
[18:23] Tam
    if I finished my errand?
[18:24] Tam
    This will put a smile on Otose-sama's face.
[18:27] Tam
    It looks like we're no longer pieces of junk.
SIGN    Sold Out
[18:46] Tam
    What's wrong, Tobako-san?
[18:49] Tam
    I'll take a look right away...
[18:55] Gen
    I'm sorry to say this,
    but it can't be repaired.
[18:59] Gen
    Tama, she's done her job.
[19:03] Gen
    That old lady won't be coming back, right?
[19:08] Gen
    This cigarette shop is done for.
[19:15] G
    It's pretty run-down.
[19:17] G
    The whole thing might crumble at once.
[19:20] G
    Be careful.
[19:21] G
    Huh?
[19:22] G
    Wasn't there a...
[19:30] Tam
    It's all right.
[19:32] Tam
    You're not scrap metal.
[19:37] Tam
    After all,
[19:39] Tam
    you have someone who needs you right here.
[19:44] Tam
    You have me,
[19:45] Tam
    your friend!
[19:53] Tam
    Even if you can no longer sell cigarettes,
[19:56] Tam
    or be of help to people,
SIGN    Illegal dumping! Remove this trash at once!
[20:00] Tam
    what does that matter?
[20:17] Tam
    Why can't a machine exist just so people
    can take shelter from the rain with it?
[20:41] Gin
    I forgot my umbrella.
[20:43] Gin
    Let me take shelter for a bit.
[20:46] Tam
    There's no longer a roof here
    that'll keep out the rain.
[20:51] Gin
    That's fine.
[20:53] Gin
    I just found a machine I wanted to
    take shelter from the rain with.
[20:59] Gin
    Besides, the rain has already let up.
SIGN    Fair Weather
[21:06] Gin
    So you don't have to take
    shelter from the rain anymore.
[21:10] Gin
    You can forget about your duty now.
[21:13] Gin
    At least in the very end,
[21:15] Gin
    wipe the rain off her
[21:16] Gin
    not as a machine, but as simply a buddy.
[21:22] Tam
    Tobako-san...
[21:25] Gin
    If you don't stop her already,
[21:28] Gin
    she really will rust into scrap metal.
[21:35] Tam
    You never learn.
[21:37] Tam
    How many times have I told you...
[21:42] Tam
    Whether you're selling or crying,
    do so one pack at a time.
[21:50] Tam
    But just for today, I'm
    sure nobody will find out.
[21:58] Tam
    Because it's raining oil.
SIGN    Snack Otose
[22:14] Oto
    The hell?
[22:17] Oto
    These are soaked.
SIGN    Next episode is finally the 300th.
SIGN    And finally...
SIGN    The Shogun Assassination Arc
SIGN    kicks off.