E161 - Laputa's still good after seeing it so many times

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] N
    The first match of this three-match contest, the quiz showdown,
[01:36] N
    goes to the Tsusengumi!
[01:41] N
    Mr. Kondo, of the Tsusengumi, in realizing that Otsu-chan physically can't stand him
[01:46] N
    has successfully propelled his losing team to a win!
[01:48] Yamazaki
    You did it, Chief.
[01:50] Kondo
    Did what?
[01:50] Okita
    You've taken all the glory.
[01:53] Okita
    Good effort.
[01:54] Kondo
    Huh? What glory?
[01:56] N
    On the flip side,
[01:58] N
    the Fan Club was on the verge of victory before it slipped through their fingers!
[02:01] Gintoki
    Hey, freak!
[02:02] Gintoki
    Why do you think I bought that expensive French bread to hire you, damn it?!
[02:06] Kagura
    It doesn't matter how well you did if we didn't win.
[02:10] Kagura
    You can't sell a crappy song that's never hit number one in this country.
[02:15] N
    They're fighting amongst each other!
[02:16] N
    The members who didn't do a thing are blaming Mr. Taka-tin!
[02:20] N
    Yet he looks so calm.
[02:24] Hijikata
    I don't really get it, but we somehow made it through the first match.
[02:27] Hijikata
    We just have to keep this up and take the second match. Then victory will be ours.
[02:31] Shinpachi
    Damn it...
[02:32] Shinpachi
    We could have won if I had been up there...
[02:35] Shinpachi
    We definitely won't lose the next one.
[02:37] Shinpachi
    We can't let it end like this!
SIGN    ["Laputa's Still Good After Seeing It So Many Times"]
[02:47] N
    Now we'll move on to the next showdown!
[02:49] N
    The second match in this three-match contest!
[02:52] N
    A charisma showdown!
SIGN    [Match 2 - Charisma Showdown]
[02:56] N
    After testing your stamina and wits, we will now test your charisma!
[03:00] N
    Both teams will now take turns
[03:02] N
    hitting on Otsu-chan!
[03:05] N
    The team who manages to successfully woo Otsu-chan
[03:09] N
    and take her to someplace with nice and quiet accommodations will win!
[03:12] Shinpachi
    What are you implying by "nice and quiet accommodations"?!
SIGN    [Note: Metaphor for a love hotel - a type of short-stay hotel operated primarily for the purpose of allowing couples privacy for having sex.]
[03:14] Otaku
    What the hell?!
[03:15] Otaku
    How can you do this to an idol?!
[03:17] N
    Please calm down, everybody!
[03:19] N
    This will merely be a simulation.
[03:20] N
    Nobody will actually be taking her anywhere.
[03:23] N
    Everything that's about to happen will be purely a simulation!
[03:26] N
    Come up with your own setting,
[03:28] N
    lines, and a whole package that will really touch Otsu-chan.
[03:31] N
    And hit on Otsu-chan in this improvised virtual space!
[03:36] N
    You could say that this is an acting contest!
[03:40] N
    One person will be assigned to putting on the moves,
[03:42] N
    while two others assist.
[03:44] N
    The last person will narrate the entire scene!
[03:48] N
    You'll be given three minutes to prepare!
[03:51] Shinpachi
    Three minutes?
[03:52] Shinpachi
    That's it?
[03:53] N
    This contest also tests your ability to ad lib!
[03:56] N
    Or else, we won't be able to see your true charm!
[04:00] N
    The winner of the last match, the Tsusengumi, will go first!
[04:03] N
    To be fair, the latter team, the Fan Club, won't be allowed to confer after the clock starts.
[04:07] N
    Just decide on a basic setting and flow.
[04:10] N
    Then start brainstorming!
[04:13] Kondo
    Hey, what do we do, Toshi?
[04:15] Kondo
    I'm guessing that you're the one hitting on her.
[04:17] Hijikata
    Wait, why me?
[04:19] Kondo
    As the most popular man in the Shinsengumi,
[04:21] Kondo
    you should be well-versed in the female heart.
[04:23] Hijikata
    I'm not, man.
[04:24] Hijikata
    Give me a break.
[04:26] Hijikata
    It'd be embarrassing to hit on a girl in front of all these people.
[04:29] Hijikata
    Just go with Yamazaki or something.
[04:31] Yamazaki
    How am I supposed to hit on a girl with this hair?
SIGN    [Fist of the North Star is a famous manga and anime series.]
[04:34] Yamazaki
    I can't play anything beyond a side role in Fist of the North Star.
[04:37] Yamazaki
    Besides, we came here for your sake.
[04:40] Yamazaki
    You need to do this yourself.
[04:43] Okita
    I don't want to embarrass myself so I'll just narrate behind the scenes.
[04:47] Hijikata
    Hey, wait!
[04:49] Hijikata
    Why are you deciding this on your own?
[04:49] Okita
    I'll just make something up so play along, everybody.
[04:53] Yamazaki And Kondo
    Okay!
[04:54] Hijikata
    H-H-Hey, wait!
[04:56] N
    Time's up! That's all!
[04:58] Hijikata
    Hey! I said to wait up! For real!
[05:00] N
    Let the Tsusengumi's romantic play begin!
SIGN    [The scene you are about to watch is just a simulation.]
[05:07] Okita
    The setting is a bar on the top floor of a fancy hotel with a wonderful night view.
[05:13] Okita
    As women cheerfully pour drinks for the rich patrons,
[05:17] Okita
    a man is bitterly drinking his liquor alone again tonight.
[05:28] Hijikata
    A bar, huh...
[05:30] Hijikata
    Not bad for Sogo...
[05:32] Hijikata
    I guess I have no choice.
[05:34] Hijikata
    Well, it'll probably work out somehow.
[05:35] Okita
    This was the man's special seat on Friday nights.
[05:39] Okita
    He would always arrive with no purpose and sit drinking until the place closed.
[05:46] Okita
    As he did the Friday before,
[05:48] Okita
    and the Friday before that,
[05:50] Okita
    and the Friday before that,
[05:51] Okita
    and the Friday before that.
[05:53] Hijikata
    Hey, isn't your narration a little long?
[05:55] Okita
    But the Friday before that was a little different.
[05:57] Okita
    Because they were playing Laputa on Friday Roadshow.
SIGN    [Note: Reference to Laputa: Castle in the Sky. Friday Roadshow is a movie program on Nippon TV.]
[06:00] Hijikata
    Who cares about that?
[06:02] Hijikata
    Just move on already.
[06:04] Okita
    He set up his TiVo before heading to the bar,
[06:07] Okita
    but then he remembered the hard drive was already full,
[06:10] Okita
    so he returned to clear up some space,
[06:12] Okita
    and accidentally deleted Terminator 3 which he hadn't watched yet.
[06:15] Okita
    Once Laputa came up on the screen,
[06:18] Hijikata
    Forget that already!
[06:19] Hijikata
    Nobody cares about the details!
[06:20] Hijikata
    Just move on already!
[06:22] Okita
    the man became all excited as though summer vacation had just begun.
[06:28] Hijikata
    Hey!
[06:29] Hijikata
    I told you to drop the Laputa already!
[06:30] Hijikata
    Where are you going with this?!
[06:32] Okita
    He's already seen it many times,
[06:34] Okita
    but he always felt sad as he watched Laputa rise in the ending.
[06:38] Okita
    As he did the time before...
[06:39] Okita
    And the time before that...
[06:39] Hijikata
    Move on already!
[06:41] Hijikata
    And I'm more of a Porco Rosso fan!
SIGN    [Note: Porco Rosso is a Hayao Miyazaki film about a cursed Italian World War I fighter ace who is transformed into a pig.]
[06:43] Okita
    In fact, the man went to this bar in a towering hotel
[06:48] Okita
    because he had a faint hope that he might be able to see Laputa from here.
[06:53] Hijikata
    That was the reason?!
[06:54] Hijikata
    Shouldn't there be some kind of a better reason?
[06:57] Okita
    But he still couldn't see Laputa tonight...
[06:59] Okita
    The man had a bitter look on his face.
[07:02] Hijikata
    That's way too bitter!
[07:03] Hijikata
    What kind of character am I?!
[07:06] Hijikata
    Forget it.
[07:07] Hijikata
    Stop digging into my character.
[07:08] Hijikata
    Just bring out Otsu.
[07:11] Kondo
    Hey, big guy.
[07:12] Kondo
    You're alone again tonight?
[07:14] Kondo
    Honestly...
[07:15] Kondo
    There's something wrong with all the women in this world who ignore such a lady-killer.
[07:20] Okita
    He was the only person Laputa ever opened up to, the master.
[07:24] Hijikata
    Why is Laputa my nickname?
[07:26] Okita
    A cheerful man who didn't discriminate against a soul.
[07:31] Okita
    By the way, his favorite movie was Totoro.
SIGN    [Note: Reference to: My Neighbor Totoro, another Miyazaki film.]
[07:33] Kondo
    Cut it out already!
[07:34] Kondo
    Do you have to use Ghibli films to exemplify everybody's character?!
[07:38] Okita
    He wasn't a pedo,
SIGN    [Note: Satsuki and Mei are the two young girl main characters from My Neighbor Totoro.]
[07:39] Okita
    but if he had to choose between Satsuki and Mei, he'd go with Satsuki.
[07:43] Kondo
    Who cares about the master?!
[07:45] Kondo
    And why does he look so smug?!
[07:46] Okita
    But few people knew that he'd been turned off
[07:49] Okita
    by how realistic the crying was in the scene where
[07:52] Okita
    Satsuki learns that her mother won't be released from the hospital.
[07:56] Hijikata
    How would anybody know about something so meaningless?!
[07:59] Okita
    However, few people knew that he wasn't actually the master,
[08:02] Okita
    but merely a part-timer who was nicknamed, "the master".
[08:06] Hijikata
    Nobody wants to know that useless information!
[08:08] Hijikata
    That's enough narrating already!
[08:10] Okita
    Long ago, after watching him using the shaker,
[08:12] Okita
    the other employees had an argument about whether to call him "the master" or "bation".
[08:19] Hijikata
    You meant that master?!
[08:21] Hijikata
    What kind of nickname is that?!
[08:23] Hijikata
    He's just being bullied!
[08:25] Hijikata
    It's hopeless.
[08:26] Hijikata
    This won't go anywhere if I leave it to them.
[08:30] Hijikata
    I have to do something...
[08:32] Hijikata
    Master, I've grown tired of drinking by myself.
[08:36] Hijikata
    Could you introduce me to a nice lady?
[08:38] Kondo
    Surely, you jest.
[08:40] Kondo
    If such a nice lady were around, I'd have taken her already.
[08:43] Hijikata
    Sorry about that.
[08:45] Hijikata
    You're in the same bind.
[08:47] Hijikata
    If only a cute girl would fall out of the sky.
[08:53] Hijikata
    Now that I've said that, they'll have to bring her out...
[08:58] Yamazaki
    Such a funny man...
[08:59] Yamazaki
    Are you Ghibler?
SIGN    [Note: A term for Studio Ghibli fan]
[09:00] Hijikata
    Here she is.
[09:01] Yamazaki
    Is the cute girl falling out of the sky Sheeta from Laputa?
[09:04] Yamazaki
    Or Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service?
[09:06] Yamazaki
    Or the whore who's fallen out of grace,
[09:10] Yamazaki
    moi?
[09:12] Hijikata
    I didn't mean you!
[09:14] Yamazaki
    May I join you?
[09:16] Hijikata
    Hell no! Who are you supposed to be?!
[09:20] Hijikata
    Can't you bring out Otsu already?!
[09:22] Hijikata
    Why bring out the stupid mohawk now?!
[09:25] Hijikata
    Get a clue!
[09:26] Hijikata
    And there aren't any women with hair like this!
[09:28] Hijikata
    He's making a huge impression!
[09:31] Otsu
    Sorry to keep you waiting.
[09:32] Otsu
    My work kept me late.
[09:34] Yamazaki
    Ah, over here.
[09:36] Hijikata
    Sh-She's here!
[09:38] Hijikata
    I see.
[09:39] Hijikata
    The strategy is for him to play Otsu's friend and introduce the two of us,
[09:42] Hijikata
    so he can provide assistance for a smooth attack.
[09:45] Hijikata
    Nice thinking.
[09:47] Hijikata
    So he wasn't just playing a female for no reason at all.
[09:54] Hijikata
    Why are you in the middle?!
[09:55] Otsu
    Um, is that man a friend of yours, Mohi-chan?
SIGN    [Note: Short for "mohawk" which is pronounced "Mohikan" in Japanese.]
[09:58] Yamazaki
    Ah, yes.
[10:00] Yamazaki
    He just hit on me, so I was going to have a little fun with him.
[10:03] Hijikata
    Do you want me to kill you, stupid mohawk?!
[10:05] Hijikata
    I don't have time to mess with you!
[10:07] Hijikata
    Why is a sideshow taking the best position!
[10:10] Hijikata
    That's where I'm supposed to be sitting!
[10:14] Hijikata
    Uh, would you like-
[10:16] Hijikata
    A drink?
[10:18] Hijikata
    Get a clue!
[10:19] Hijikata
    Move out of the way, mohawk!
[10:21] Hijikata
    I can't get in a word edgewise!
[10:23] Otsu
    Excuse me.
[10:24] Otsu
    Could I get oolong tea?
[10:25] Yamazaki
    This man and I were just having
[10:27] Yamazaki
    a heated discussion about which Ghibli heroine was the best.
[10:32] Hijikata
    We weren't.
[10:33] Hijikata
    You're still going on about Ghibli?!
[10:35] Yamazaki
    Who's your favorite, Otsu?
[10:36] Hijikata
    Who cares about that subject?!
[10:38] Hijikata
    You could at least ask what her type is!
[10:41] Kondo
    I'd have to go with Satsuki.
[10:43] Hijikata
    Nobody was talking to you!
[10:44] Kondo
    The way she looks after her little sister reminds me of Otae-san.
[10:47] Kondo
    She'll definitely make a wonderful mother!
[10:50] Hijikata
    Don't mention Otae-san.
[10:52] Hijikata
    You're not even acting anymore.
[10:54] Okita
    I don't have a particular favorite,
[10:56] Okita
    but if I had to choose, I'd go with Kiki.
[10:58] Hijikata
    Why is the narrator participating in the conversation?!
[11:01] Okita
    It's actually easier to break in girls who have a lot of pride.
[11:05] Okita
    Once you've broken their self-respect,
[11:07] Okita
    they're weaker than most people on the inside.
[11:07] Hijikata
    What the hell are you saying?!
[11:09] Okita
    The ones with a hard shell fall even harder.
[11:09] Hijikata
    Don't defile Ghibli!
[11:13] Yamazaki
    It's true that Satsuki would make a great mom,
[11:16] Yamazaki
    but she's not much of a woman.
[11:18] Yamazaki
    She doesn't even try to be fashion-conscious.
[11:20] Hijikata
    A person with a mohawk shouldn't be talking.
[11:22] Yamazaki
    She's the type with natural beauty who forgets about dressing herself up.
[11:27] Yamazaki
    Or if she were to try, she'd find that
[11:29] Yamazaki
    there wasn't anything to fix, so she'd try for a different angle and go overboard like Kaela.
SIGN    [Note: Reference to Japanese model, pop singer "Kaela Kimura".]
[11:36] Hijikata
    How far are you reading into this?!
[11:38] Hijikata
    You people are creeping me out!
[11:41] Yamazaki
    I'd say that Mei-chan would be the type to be completely different at a reunion.
[11:46] Yamazaki
    She's got a complex about her sister and she's the kind who grows with effort.
[11:50] Kondo
    But she can only grow so much!
[11:54] Kondo
    Since, she takes after her father!
[11:56] Kondo
    That'll be her peak, so she can't beat her older sister!
[11:59] Okita
    Yeah, but girls who are cute when they're little
[12:01] Okita
    are already at their peak, so they can only deteriorate.
[12:02] Hijikata
    Talk about this back at headquarters!
[12:04] Hijikata
    You're the only ones getting into this conversation!
[12:06] Hijikata
    Do you people really love Ghibli that much?!
[12:08] Hijikata
    You have no intention of supporting me.
[12:11] Hijikata
    Otsu is being left in the dust.
[12:16] Hijikata
    Th-This is...
[12:19] Hijikata
    An odd sense of solidarity.
[12:20] Hijikata
    Both feeling lonely, like the outsiders of a group...
[12:24] Hijikata
    Are we starting to feel like kindred spirits?
[12:29] Hijikata
    Like two people who've come to the city from the country and feel left out at a party.
[12:36] Hijikata
    Everybody's so excited.
[12:38] Hijikata
    Aren't you going to go party with everyone else?
[12:42] Otsu
    I'm not very good with these situations.
[12:44] Hijikata
    Ah, I'm actually the same way.
[12:47] Hijikata
    This is how they usually hit it off!
[12:50] Hijikata
    Could it be that you guys...
[12:53] Yamazaki
    Now!
[12:54] Yamazaki
    Now is your chance, Vice-Chief!
[12:56] Kondo
    Go, Toshi!
[12:58] Okita
    Isn't she a nice girl?
[13:00] Okita
    Invite her along.
SIGN    [Note: The image is similar to the character Dola from Laputa: Castle In the Sky.]
[13:02] Hijikata
    The storm ceases and the clouds part.
SIGN    [Hotel in the Sky]
[13:08] Hijikata And Otsu
    Laputa really existed!
[13:15] N
    The End!
[13:17] N
    The Tsusengumi managed to check in!
[13:21] N
    They've easily landed Otsu-chan without using romantic words or presents!
[13:27] N
    A clever psychological plan which displayed amazing teamwork!
[13:32] N
    I must say I am impressed!
[13:35] Shinpachi
    Th-That's impossible!
[13:37] N
    How do you feel right now, Otsu-chan?
[13:40] Otsu
    I'm sorry.
[13:41] Otsu
    I was just going with the flow and ended up tagging along.
[13:43] N
    So you're the type of girl who'll end up in a place like that by going with the flow, slut.
[13:48] Otaku
    MC, shut the fuck up!
[13:49] Otaku
    Otsu-chan's no slut!
[13:51] Otaku
    She's just a ditz!
[13:53] Otaku
    Say it again and I'll murder you!
[13:56] N
    The Tsu Terakado Fan Club is up next and is now in a difficult position!
[14:00] N
    Even if they manage to land Otsu-chan, the match will be up to the judges!
[14:06] N
    They have no chance of victory if they don't use a brilliant method!
[14:11] Gintoki
    Don't worry, Shinpachi.
[14:14] Gintoki
    Couples that are formed through collusion don't last long.
[14:17] Shinpachi
    But Gin-san, we were busy trying to translate for Taka-tin
[14:20] Shinpachi
    during preparation and barely decided on anything.
[14:23] Shinpachi
    What do we do?
[14:25] Gintoki
    This match rides on the narration, which determines the whole situation.
[14:30] Gintoki
    Well, you can't go wrong by leaving it to me.
[14:33] Shinpachi
    We can really trust you, right?
[14:35] Shinpachi
    Please give us a really romantic one.
[14:37] Gintoki
    Yeah, yeah.
[14:38] Gintoki
    I'll give you some romantic-shmantic stuff.
[14:41] N
    So the Tsu Terakado Fan Club's romantic play begins now!
SIGN    [The scene you are about to watch is just a simulation.]
[14:55] Gintoki
    Once upon a time, a long time ago,
[14:59] Gintoki
    when demons and gods still existed...
[15:03] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[15:04] Gintoki
    The battle between gods and demons brought ruin to the earth,
[15:07] Gintoki
    leading to a dark age where humans lived underground in fear.
[15:12] Shinpachi
    Wait... Gin-san?
[15:14] Gintoki
    However, in this barren land where malevolent gods and sinister demons ran rampant,
[15:20] Shinpachi
    Uh, what is this?
[15:23] Gintoki
    a solitary shadow moved towards the west.
[15:27] Shinpachi
    Gin-san, you know what the goal is right?
[15:28] Shinpachi
    A romantic situation where you can hit on a girl.
[15:31] Gintoki
    They headed to a destination far to the west, bearing the hopes of humanity.
[15:38] Gintoki
    To the kingdom of gods said to grant any wish...
SIGN    [Gandara Vehotel] [Note: Music is from the TV Show "Journey to the West" Also known as "Monkey."]
[15:47] Shinpachi
    It's turned into a totally different show!
SIGN    [Original story by Gintoki Sakata]
SIGN    [Project Planning by Gintoki Sakata]
SIGN    [Son Goku - Shinpachi Shimura]
SIGN    [Sanzo Hoshi - Otsu]
SIGN    [Sagojo - Taka-tin]
SIGN    [Cho Hakkai - Kagura]
SIGN    [Narrated by Gintoki Sakata]
SIGN    [Directed by Gintoki Sakata]
[16:13] Gintoki
    This is the story of the monk Tsukai and his company, on their stormy journey
[16:19] Gintoki
    to restore peace to Earth, by visiting the kingdom of gods, Gandara Vehotel.
SIGN    [Note: The title sounds like "Grand Love Hotel."]
[16:26] Shinpachi
    No, what the hell is Gandara Vehotel?!
[16:29] Shinpachi
    You're just trying to trick her into the place!
[16:31] Shinpachi
    You're just trying to pull a fast one on her!
[16:34] Shinpachi
    And this is no longer a charisma showdown.
[16:37] Shinpachi
    This is a completely different contest.
[16:39] Otsu
    Um, excuse me. Please stop.
[16:43] Otsu
    Please stop the horse.
[16:44] Otsu
    That's enough.
[16:45] Shinpachi
    No, wait!
[16:46] Shinpachi
    Hold on!
[16:47] Otsu
    I'll be going home now.
[16:49] Shinpachi
    No, uh...
[16:50] Shinpachi
    We just started!
[16:51] Shinpachi
    Wait a little, uh...
[16:52] Shinpachi
    Was there something you didn't like?
[16:54] Shinpachi
    Did we make some kind of mistake?
[16:55] Otsu
    What's with the Gandara Vehotel?!
[16:58] Otsu
    You're obviously thinking about something dirty!
[17:00] Otsu
    You're not even trying to hide it!
[17:02] Shinpachi
    I-I'm not!
[17:03] Shinpachi
    I'm not thinking about anything along those lines!
[17:04] Shinpachi
    It's Gandara...
[17:05] Shinpachi
    Vehotel! Vehotel!
[17:08] Otsu
    No, adding a pause doesn't change anything.
[17:10] Otsu
    I don't like people who think about that stuff right off the bat.
[17:15] Gintoki
    Wait! Wait!
[17:16] Gintoki
    It's wrong! I got the title wrong!
[17:18] Gintoki
    Here we go.
SIGN    [Gandara * Vehotel]
[17:19] Shinpachi
    Nothing changed!
SIGN    [Gandara * Vehotel] [Note: Reference to Japanese musician, Hiro Tsunoda. His name includes a star between "Hiro" and "Tsunoda".]
[17:20] Shinpachi
    You just made it all Hiro Tsunoda-like!
[17:23] Gintoki
    No, really. We won't do anything dirty!
[17:26] Gintoki
    We absolutely won't!
[17:27] Gintoki
    We'll just be resting a bit.
[17:28] Gintoki
    Just going off to save the world!
[17:31] Gintoki
    So let's make a little stop and take a little break.
[17:32] Shinpachi
    Hey, narrator.
[17:33] Shinpachi
    You're starting to sound like a pathetic guy
[17:36] Shinpachi
    who's begging a girl who changed her mind at the entrance.
[17:38] Gintoki
    Just need to go in a little!
[17:39] Gintoki
    Just a little bit!
[17:41] Shinpachi
    Don't make it worse!
[17:43] Gintoki
    Fine, fine.
[17:44] Gintoki
    If you're going to be that way, forget it.
[17:46] Gintoki
    I just wanted to save the world.
[17:48] Gintoki
    You're just making me feel bad.
[17:50] Shinpachi
    You're talking too much for a narrator.
[17:53] Gintoki
    Forget it! Do whatever you want!
[17:54] Gintoki
    I didn't think you were so selfish!
[17:57] Kagura
    You should apologize, chief priest.
[17:59] Kagura
    It can get scary if the Narry gets mad.
[18:01] Shinpachi
    Who the hell is Narry?!
[18:03] Shinpachi
    Don't make it sound like Daddy!
[18:05] Taka-Tin
    Just apologize.
[18:06] Taka-Tin
    I'll apologize with you.
[18:07] Taka-Tin
    Let's tell Narry we're sorry.
[18:09] Shinpachi
    Why do you sound like the mother?!
[18:11] Gintoki
    Forget it.
[18:12] Gintoki
    Just leave her alone, guys.
[18:13] Gintoki
    Well, the sun's set already, so we'll just stay at the Gandara Vehotel in Gotanda.
SIGN    [Note: Gotanda is a neighborhood in Shinagawa, Tokyo which is famous for having a high concentration of love hotels.]
[18:20] Shinpachi
    It's a chain?!
[18:21] Shinpachi
    And we're in Gotanda?!
[18:23] Kagura
    Yay!
[18:24] Kagura
    We can finally rest!
[18:27] Gintoki
    So? What are you going to do?
[18:30] Tsu
    Camp outside.
[18:32] Gintoki
    Do whatever you want.
[18:33] Gintoki
    Don't come crying if you're eaten by a demon.
[18:35] Gintoki
    Let's go, Patsuan.
[18:38] Shinpachi
    Why are you walking around?!
[18:40] Shinpachi
    Isn't he just an old man?!
[18:42] Shinpachi
    Isn't he the demon?!
[18:53] Kagura
    This is delicious!
[18:55] Kagura
    I haven't had anything to eat in forever!
[18:56] Taka-Tin
    Oh, shit! It's my bread!
[18:58] Gintoki
    You're all so greedy!
[18:59] Otsu
    I'm not feeling lonely at all...
[19:05] Otsu
    I'm fine being alone.
[19:09] Otsu
    Afterwards, we continued on our journey to save the world,
[19:14] Otsu
    but I refused to stay in any Gandara Vehotel.
[19:20] Otsu
    I grew accustomed to camping outside.
[19:22] Otsu
    It was scary in the beginning,
[19:24] Otsu
    but I must have been lucky as I was never attacked by demons in my sleep.
[19:29] Otsu
    But, whenever I woke up,
[19:32] Otsu
    I would see demon footprints in the sand around me.
[19:39] Otsu
    Were they afraid of me?
[19:41] Otsu
    Or were they after me?
[19:44] Otsu
    I wasn't entirely sure, but oddly enough, I wasn't scared of the footprints.
[19:51] Otsu
    I was more focused on how envious I was of the merry sounds coming from the Vehotel.
[19:59] Otsu
    How could they leave me alone to have so much fun?
[20:03] Otsu
    Why won't anyone come invite me?
[20:07] Otsu
    Although I was the one who turned them down,
[20:10] Otsu
    I continued to think such selfish thoughts as I camped outside.
[20:16] Otsu
    And then one night,
[20:19] Otsu
    I was woken up by a strange sensation.
[20:24] Otsu
    I had been surrounded by demons.
[20:27] Otsu
    Yes...
[20:28] Otsu
    I finally saw the demons the footprints belonged to...
[20:41] Otsu
    The demons weren't afraid of me or after me...
[20:47] Otsu
    They were protecting me...
[20:50] Gintoki
    I told them to leave you alone, but they wouldn't listen.
[20:54] Gintoki
    They're fools.
[20:56] Gintoki
    Do you think people who do this would be capable of dirty acts?
[21:01] Gintoki
    Why would those who protect your sleeping face want to defile it?
[21:08] Gintoki
    If you still feel that way, keep on camping outside.
[21:12] Gintoki
    Thanks to you, I get to enjoy the Vehotel all by myself.
[21:20] Otsu
    That was when I saw...
[21:23] Otsu
    There was sand on Narry's butt.
[21:31] Gintoki
    The next day,
[21:33] Gintoki
    a new voice could be heard among the merry voices
[21:36] Gintoki
    in the Gandara Vehotel.
[21:38] Gintoki
    That laughing voice was higher than the others and echoed through the desert.
[21:47] N
    The end!
[21:48] N
    The Tsu Terakado Fan Club managed to check in!
[21:52] N
    Why do I feel so refreshed after they succeeded in checking in?
[21:56] Kondo
    Refreshed?! Wasn't there something obviously wrong?!
[21:58] Kondo
    Otsu-chan became the narrator halfway through!
[22:00] Kondo
    There's clear evidence that Otsu-chan was in on the planning!
[22:03] N
    Otsu-chan!
[22:04] N
    Between the Tsusengumi and the Fan Club, who wins?!
[22:07] Kondo
    Why am I being ignored?!
[22:09] Otsu
    Let's see...
[22:11] Otsu
    Both sides performed wonderfully.
[22:15] Otsu
    The characters stood out and the setting was fleshed out.
[22:24] Otsu
    The Tsu Terakado Fan Club wins!
[22:29] N
    Now both teams are at one win and one loss!
[22:31] Kondo
    Hey! That was like judging a manga!
[22:33] Kondo
    What about the charisma?!
[22:34] Kondo
    Wasn't this a charisma showdown?!
[22:35] N
    The contest will be decided with the third and final match!
[22:39] Kondo
    Why am I being ignored?!
SIGN    [To Be Continued]
[24:15] Shinpachi
    The next episode...
[24:16] Shinpachi
    "Love Asks for Nothing in Return."
SIGN    [We finally reach the conclusive final battle in the fight to become Tsu Terakado's official fan club.]
SIGN    [Shinpachi faces up against Hijikata. The rules of the battle are what?!]
SIGN    [See you next time.]