E56 - Keep an Eye on the Chief for the Day

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    [Chome Chome Chome Chome Koh! Poli Poli Poli Poli Eat it!]
SIGN    
SIGN    ["Chome-ko Nanza Kuso Kurae!" Tsu Terakado's 4th single. Now on sale!]
[01:43] Kondo
    Listen up!
[01:44] Kondo
    The purpose of today's special assignment
[01:46] Kondo
    is to implore the citizens of Edo to be on the lookout for crimes...
[01:49] Kondo
    and to restore the Shinsengumi's reputation, which, quite recently, has been severely tarnished.
[01:54] Kondo
    So, pop idol Otsu-chan will be our "Chief For The Day" and help us improve our public image!
[02:01] Kondo
    So listen up! Whatever you do today, just be on your best behavior!
[02:04] Kondo
    And also respect Otsu-chan... I mean the Chief...and learn how to capture people's hearts!
[02:09] Shinsengumi Member A
    It's really Otsu-chan!
[02:11] Shinsengumi Member B
    Your autograph! Please give me your autograph!
[02:13] Kondo
    Idiots!
[02:16] Kondo
    We won't be able to control the citizens if we can't even control ourselves.
[02:21] Kondo
    Sorry about that, Chief. I haven't trained them very well...
[02:24] Otsu
    That's all right.
[02:27] Shinsengumi Member A
    What's with your uniform?! You got her autograph!
[02:30] Kondo
    I'll wear it forever. As long as my life lasts!
[02:33] Okita
    Well, it seems morale has suddenly gone up.
[02:36] Hijikata
    It isn't morale. They're just flipping out.
[02:39] Okita
    Terakado-san, this is today's schedule.
[02:42] Otsu
    Oh, right.
[02:44] Hijikata
    All you have to do is stand there and smile, so take it easy.
[02:48] Otsu
    Um...
[02:49] Otsu
    If I'm going to do anything, I don't want to do it halfway.
[02:52] Otsu
    My father always told me
[02:53] Otsu
    that no matter what the job is, I should tackle it with everything I've got.
[02:56] Hijikata
    Well...but...
[02:57] Otsu
    Even if it's just for a day, I want to do a good job as Chief,
[03:01] Otsu
    so I've thought up various ideas to help improve the Shinsengumi's image.
[03:05] Hijikata
    No, that's all right. Just your being here...
[03:07] Otsu
    Hey, you guys! That's enough!
[03:11] Otsu
    You have a bad reputation because all you do is fight!
[03:15] Otsu
    Settling everything with violence is as low as you can get!
[03:18] Otsu
    As of right now, I'm banning violence for today.
[03:20] Otsu
    Take off those swords on your waists!
[03:22] Hijikata
    Hey, does this little girl really think she's the boss?
[03:25] ---
    Those guys can't be controlled by just anyone.
[03:28] ---
    And besides, there's no way we could enforce anything without our weapons.
[03:31] ---
    The sword is a samurai's soul.
[03:33] Kondo
    We're sorry, Chief!
[03:36] Hijikata
    Should I change careers?
[03:38] Kondo
    Toshi! Sogo! What're you doing?! Hurry up and drop your weapons!
[03:43] Hijikata
    Kondo-san, I think you've dropped your brain.
[03:47] Kondo
    We have to work at improving our image!
[03:50] Kondo
    Do you think I called Otsu-chan over here for no reason?
[03:54] Hijikata
    No, I think you called her because you had lecherous motives.
[03:57] Kondo
    Otsu-chan... I mean, the Chief...
[03:59] Kondo
    was once hung out to dry because of a scandal and she hit rock bottom.
[04:03] Kondo
    But despite that, she sang anywhere she could with a never-give-up attitude.
[04:06] Kondo
    And when music producer Tsunpo recognized her talent,
[04:08] Kondo
    they completely cleaned up her image.
[04:10] Kondo
    Today, she's returned to be one of Edo's top pop idols.
[04:13] Kondo
    She's a phoenix-like pop star!
[04:15] Otsu
    I know people call you the 24-hour police thugs behind your backs.
[04:19] Otsu
    Now that I'm Chief,
[04:21] Otsu
    I will do my best to thoroughly improve your public image
[04:23] Otsu
    using the show business strategies pounded into me by Tsunpo-san.
[04:26] Otsu
    First, we must erase the brutal image that has followed you around!
[04:30] Otsu
    So, I think we should start by changing this rule.
[04:33] Otsu
    Rule: "Do not violate the Way of the Samurai.
[04:37] Otsu
    Violators must commit seppuku."
[04:39] Otsu
    It sounds cool, but it's a little scary.
[04:41] Otsu
    So, from today on, we'll go with this. Pork ginger sauté.
[04:45] Otsu
    Add something cute to the end of your sentences.
[04:48] Otsu
    Violators must commit seppuku. Cloned human.
[04:52] Hijikata
    That wasn't cute. You left in the most dangerous part: seppuku.
[04:56] Otsu
    I couldn't remove it without losing the samurai style. Camel hump.
[05:00] Hijikata
    No samurai style whatsoever is left- Moomin.
[05:03] Otsu
    There you go. That's it.
[05:05] Hijikata
    Shut up!
[05:06] Okita
    There's nothing we can do about it, Hijikata-san.
[05:08] Okita
    Let's just grin and bear it today. Drink one-liter of soy sauce and die, Hijikata, you bastard.
[05:13] Hijikata
    When you say it, it sounds even more hateful.
[05:15] Otsu
    Also, we can't erase the image that you're a bunch of grubby guys,
[05:19] Otsu
    so I think you need a friendly mascot- Nori bento.
SIGN    [Note: Nori bento = seaweed boxed lunch]
[05:23] Otsu
    So, I came up with one. Domestic violence.
[05:27] Otsu
    Over here, over here.
[05:33] Otsu
    The Shinsengumi mascot: Makoto-chan.
[05:38] Hijikata
    That's not cute at all!! What's this got to do with the Shinsengumi?!
[05:42] Hijikata
    Why's he carrying a dead body?! Which one? Which one is Makoto-chan?!
[05:45] Otsu
    The horse. Sweet bean jelly.
[05:47] Hijikata
    I've never seen a mascot with such dismal eyes!
[05:50] Hijikata
    Forget being cute, I see...
[05:51] Hijikata
    a symbol of tragedy!
[05:55] Makoto-Chan
    Oh... I did it...
[05:57] Hijikata
    He said he did it! What? Is that what he did?
[05:59] Kondo
    Toshi, these days just being cute isn't enough. Yogurt.
[06:04] Kondo
    Take a good look. It's quite gro...cu...
[06:07] Hijikata
    What'd you do that for! Daffunda!
SIGN    [Note: "Daffunda" was an expression used by comedian Ken Shimura in his short sketches.]
[06:10] Makoto-Chan
    Oh stop it. Tenshindon.
SIGN    [Note: Tenshindon is egg on rice. Like egg foo yung.]
[06:18] Otsu
    They walk haughtily through the streets.
[06:24] ---
    As they flaunt "justice."
[06:30] ---
    Everything they say is for the sake of appearances.
[06:36] ---
    But they close their mouths when it comes to the truth.
[06:39] Okita
    I gotta say, Chief, your popularity is just what I expected.
[06:42] Okita
    Everywhere you go it's packed with fools. Fall off a cliff and die, Hijikata.
[06:46] Hijikata
    But what is this song?
[06:48] Hijikata
    It sounds like she's mocking us. Get punched and kicked and die, Okita.
[06:52] Okita
    You're too self-conscious.
[06:55] Okita
    It sounds like a sweet love song to me. Die of gas poisoning and go to hell, Hijikata.
[06:59] Otsu
    Thank you, everyone! Corn poop!
[07:03] Crowd
    Corn poop!
[07:05] Hijikata
    Sounds like it'll make our image even worse. Fall off a cliff and die, Okita.
[07:08] Okita
    What if there actually is a terrorist incident?
[07:11] Okita
    We don't have our swords. Get splashed with boiling water and die, Hijikata
[07:14] Hijikata
    I don't care anymore. Moomin, kill Okita!
[07:17] Okita
    Die, Hijikata.
[07:18] Hijikata
    Die, Okita.
[07:19] Okita
    Die, Okita. Oops, I mean Hijikata.
[07:22] Kondo
    Great job, Chief.
[07:25] Otsu
    Thank you.
[07:26] Kondo
    Wow. You're amazing, Chief.
[07:29] Kondo
    I never realized how you could gather
[07:31] Kondo
    so much attention with just some small twists. Bamboo shoots.
[07:34] Otsu
    When it comes to a positive image, it's difficult to create, but easy to destroy.
[07:39] ---
    You people had the worst possible image to begin with,
[07:42] ---
    so we just had to start from scratch. Phantom azuki bean washer.
[07:45] Okita
    Hey, she says the worst things with the greatest of ease...
[07:48] Kondo
    It's a sad story.
[07:50] Kondo
    We work hard every day to protect the peace in Edo,
[07:54] Kondo
    but we just seem to be running in circles.
[07:56] Kondo
    What we aspire to be and the image people have of us are totally different. Limbo dance.
[08:01] Otsu
    But you Shinsengumi guys are quite commendable.
[08:03] Otsu
    Usually, people can't even take an honest look at how others see them.
[08:07] Otsu
    But if you're too concerned with how others see you,
[08:09] Otsu
    you'll be paralyzed. Slippery phantom.
[08:12] Hijikata
    What's with these conversations? It's kind of creepy...
[08:15] Otsu
    I was the same way.
[08:17] Otsu
    I was rocked by a scandal and became so concerned about how everyone saw me
[08:21] Otsu
    that I became too afraid to even step outside. Badger's balls.
[08:24] Okita
    Did she just say "balls"? A pop idol said balls? Is she really a pop idol?
[08:29] Otsu
    But it's not easy changing people's minds.
[08:33] Otsu
    I just said, forget it.
[08:34] Otsu
    I decided to become the best person I could be.
[08:39] Otsu
    After that, everything seemed a lot brighter. Teriyaki burger.
[08:43] Otsu
    But I think I was only able to come to that realization because of all the time
[08:47] Otsu
    I had spent suffering under other people's image of me. Eel pie.
[08:49] Otsu
    It's not good to be too concerned with how people see you...
[08:52] Otsu
    But you shouldn't ignore them, either. It's difficult---the Cat Returns.
[08:55] Otsu
    But I'm sure you all can do it. You're already suffering through it. Princess Mononoke.
[09:00] Kondo
    Otsu-chan... You're a good woman. Daffunda.
[09:04] Otsu
    You just said "Daffunda" twice.
[09:07] Otsu
    The next time you say it, you'll have to commit seppuku. Camel hump.
[09:10] Kondo
    Oh, you said that twice, as well, Otsu-chan. Elephant's trunk.
[09:13] Otsu
    What? Then let's say it never happened.
[09:15] Otsu
    It'll be our secret. Just between the two of us. Mouse tail.
[09:20] Okita/Hijikata (M)
    I feel like knocking them out, but...
[09:24] Shinpachi
    You bastard! You were fooling around with Otsu-chan!
[09:30] Kondo
    Mako-chan's...!
[09:31] ---
    There's another Mako-chan inside Mako-chan!
[09:34] Okita
    Huh? Where'd the top half go?
[09:39] Makoto-Chan
    Oh... I did it...
[09:42] Makoto-Chan
    I totally did it... I did it.
[09:46] Makoto-Chan
    I thought it was a boar. Now I've done it.
[09:51] Store Owner
    Sir, I don't know what happened, but what's done is done.
[09:55] Store Owner
    Drink and forget about it.
[09:57] Makoto-Chan
    I shot that arrow on a reflex. Now I've done it...
[10:04] Hijikata
    Quit saying you did it!
[10:05] Hijikata
    What're you doing?! You're the mascot.
[10:08] Hijikata
    What's the mascot doing here drinking?
[10:11] Makoto-Chan
    Now I've done it... I never imagined a person would appear deep in the forest.
[10:18] Hijikata
    Hey! It sounds like a frightening incident is about to come to light...
[10:22] Otsu
    Makoto-chan!
[10:23] Otsu
    Makoto-chan, over here, quickly!
[10:26] Otsu
    A group of children are leaving the temple school!
[10:28] Otsu
    This is your chance! Children are pure, so it's easy to instill a good image!
[10:32] Otsu
    And if they tell their parents, your reputation will grow in no time!
[10:35] Otsu
    Children like cute things...
[10:38] Otsu
    Time to make your appearance, Makoto-chan!
[10:40] Hijikata
    Wait! Do you know how heavy a past he's shouldering?
[10:44] Kondo
    Hey! You're upside-down! Mako-chan! That's the wrong way!
[10:47] Hijikata
    That's nothing but a complete monster!
[10:49] Kondo
    Look out!
[10:50] Kondo
    Forward! Keep going forward! Oh no! He dropped the dead body!
[10:54] Hijikata
    Never mind! Never mind the dead body! Just go away! You'll just scare them!
[11:00] Hijikata
    I said to ignore the dead body!
[11:03] Child A
    I hate leaving school as a group.
[11:05] Child B
    Can't be helped. Not with that happening a lot lately. That's scary.
[11:20] Gintoki
    Ouch...
[11:22] ---
    Hey, were we a success?
[11:24] Shinpachi
    I wouldn't know. I'm totally in the dark.
[11:27] ---
    Dead body! Well? Did we succeed, dead body?
[11:31] Gintoki
    Quit playing dead!
[11:34] Kondo
    Hey, what're you guys doing?!
[11:37] Hijikata
    I thought something was odd.
[11:39] Hijikata
    So it was you guys after all! What's the big idea?!
[11:42] Shinpachi
    No! You've got the wrong idea! Otsu-chan asked us to...
[11:45] Hijikata
    Shut up! You're always interfering! What's your game?!
[11:49] Shinpachi
    No, it's true. Otsu-chan asked us to...!
[12:02] Kondo
    14:17: You're under arrest for obstruction of justice.
[12:06] Gintoki/Shinpachi/Kkk
    What? Are you serious?
[12:08] Gintoki
    You can't do that! "Obstruction of justice"? Just what did we do?!
[12:13] Hijikata
    Shut up! You interfered with the parade!
[12:16] Gintoki
    Listen to me. Like we said, Otsu-chan asked us to...
[12:19] Kagura
    We'd never voluntarily help you guys!
[12:23] Hijikata
    Help, you say? You guys were nothing, but interference!
[12:26] Shinpachi
    She said she wanted our help because she was going to be Chief for a day.
[12:29] Shinpachi
    Otsu-chan hired us personally.
[12:31] Gintoki
    She's a fine girl. She hired us with her own money just for this day.
[12:35] Kagura
    You guys are trampling on her good will.
[12:38] Kondo
    You're the guys who trampled on it!
[12:39] Shinpachi
    Okay, never mind that. Let us see Otsu-chan!
[12:42] Shinpachi
    We're not getting anywhere this way!
[12:43] Gintoki
    He's right. Let us see the Chief! Today, you're nothing but a powerless gorilla!
[12:47] Kondo
    A powerless gorilla doesn't exist. A gorilla's grip is nothing to sneeze at!
[12:52] Hijikata
    Tsk...
[12:53] Hijikata
    Hey Sogo, where's our Chief for a day?
[12:56] Okita
    Well... We haven't seen her at all for a while.
[12:59] Okita
    Where could she have gone?
[13:00] Kondo
    Think like her.
[13:02] Kondo
    When a girl disappears without telling anyone,
[13:04] Kondo
    it usually has to do with number two.
[13:05] Kondo
    Let it go. That's why you guys can't get girlfriends.
[13:09] Hijikata
    I see. Now I know why you're not popular.
[13:12] Shinpachi
    Don't say such rude things!
[13:13] Shinpachi
    Otsu-chan doesn't fart and she doesn't poop!
[13:16] Shinpachi
    Everything comes out as cute little eggs! Like a quail's.
[13:18] Kondo
    Do you really think of that as innocent?! It's just obscene!
[13:22] Kondo
    Pop idols fart and they poop, too! Look reality in the face, you idiot!
[13:26] Shinpachi
    Then are you saying Sis farts, too?!
[13:29] Kondo
    Of course she does! I accept that!
[13:31] Kondo
    But in Otae-san's case, it's a pink plume.
[13:33] Hijikata
    Hello.
[13:34] Shinpachi
    You're the one who can't see reality!
[13:35] Hijikata
    What is it, Yamazaki? I'm busy right now. I'm hanging up.
[13:39] Okita
    Was that Yamazaki? Wasn't he working on the female serial kidnappings?
[13:44] Okita
    He wanted Otsu-chan's autograph.
SIGN    [Otsu]
[13:46] Hijikata
    Don't worry. I wrote it for him...
[13:49] ---
    More importantly, where could that girl have gone?
[13:52] Okita
    Maybe Otsu-chan was kidnapped while we weren't looking?
[13:56] Okita
    Strange how those incidents all happened within the Shinsengumi's jurisdiction.
[14:00] Hijikata
    Don't be silly.
[14:01] Hijikata
    If something happened right in front of our eyes,
[14:03] Hijikata
    the Shinsengumi would be finished for sure.
[14:05] Hijikata
    She's probably peeing or something.
[14:07] Okita
    You're no different than Kondo-san. That's why you're not popular with women.
[14:10] Hijikata
    Then what about you?
[14:12] Okita
    That day...
[14:14] Hijikata
    Shall we do a group social party next time? We'll settle it once and for all...
[14:17] Shinsengumi Member C
    Vice-Chief, we found her. There!
[14:19] Member A
    People, do you believe the Shinsengumi is capable of protecting the peace in Edo?
[14:24] Member A
    No! They're just weak, lazy people who waste your tax money!
[14:30] Member A
    As proof, we easily abducted their Chief for a day!
[14:35] ---
    These girls and Tsu Terakado are decisive proof of their incompetence!
[14:44] Member A
    This world is totally rotten! Let us all put a change to that!
SIGN    [Note: Iboji is a play on the homonym that means "hemmorhoids"]
[14:50] Hanano Announcer
    Currently, the radical group entrenched at Iboji Temple...
SIGN    [Are the Anti-foreigner Faction terrorists behind the serial kidnappings of women?]
[14:53] Hanano Announcer
    is an Anti-foreigner Faction ronin group calling itself the "Tengu Faction."
[14:55] Hanano Announcer
    It has just been revealed that the recent serial kidnappings of women were their doing.
[15:01] Hanano Announcer
    Furthermore, they have barricaded themselves in the pagoda with the Shinsengumi Chief for a day,
[15:04] Hanano Announcer
    popular pop idol Tsu Terakado-san, as their hostage!
[15:08] Hanano Announcer
    In their manifesto, they are demanding the release of their Anti-foreigner Faction comrades
[15:13] Hanano Announcer
    who were arrested by the Shinsengumi and the dissolution of the Shinsengumi.
[15:15] Hanano Announcer
    They claim they will kill all the hostages if their demands are not met!
[15:19] Hanano Announcer
    How the Shinsengumi will respond to this situation is being closely monitored.
[15:25] ---
    Here they come. The Shinsengumi has arrived!
[15:28] Reporter A
    How will you take responsibility for this incident?
[15:30] Reporter Ab
    Please tell us!
[15:32] Reporter C
    Kondo-san!
[15:33] Reporter C
    Otsu-chan was right there with you when this happened, wasn't she?
[15:35] Reporter C
    Didn't you see anything?
[15:36] Reporter D
    They're demanding the dissolution of the Shinsengumi. What will you do?
[15:42] Makoto-Chan
    Now I've done it... I've done it. I never thought we'd be arrested.
[15:49] Reporter A
    Who are you? How are connected to the Shinsengumi?
[15:52] Makoto-Chan
    It was a false arrest. That's what it was.
[15:56] Reporter B
    False arrest?! By the Shinsengumi?!
[15:58] Reporter B
    Won't you please tell us the details of what happened?!
[16:00] Makoto-Chan
    It was more torture than an interrogation...
[16:04] Hijikata
    Don't complicate the situation!
[16:06] Hijikata
    Cut it out, you guys! If you hadn't shown up, this would never have happened...
[16:09] Hanano Announcer
    Take a look, viewers. He's like a thug!
[16:13] Kondo
    Toshi, stop it. If our reputation gets any worse, we'll be...
[16:18] Hijikata
    We can't do anything with this many people from of the media here.
[16:21] Hijikata
    Those guys are out to completely ruin us.
[16:24] Otsu
    Everyone!
[16:26] Member A
    So the Shinsengumi are here! I hope you have prepared for dissolution.
[16:30] Kondo
    What? What did you just say?
[16:32] Kondo
    I'm sorry. Speak louder, please!
[16:36] Otsu
    Everyone!
[16:38] Member A
    So the Shinsengumi are here! I hope you have pre...
[16:41] ---
    Don't make me repeat myself! It's embarrassing!
[16:45] Member A
    It says: "We can't hear you. Please write it down."
SIGN    [Your writing's too small, can't read it.]
[16:51] Hijikata
    Listen up! Try to buy as much time as you can.
[16:54] Hijikata
    Units 2 and 3, use the opportunity to flank them.
[16:56] Member A
    Are you guys mocking us?!
[16:58] Kondo
    Act like you can't hear them.
[17:01] Member B
    "Regarding the hostages' release, we are discussing it with our superiors.
[17:04] Member B
    But it will take time. Please wait." That's what it says.
[17:08] Member A
    Hmph...
[17:08] ---
    They want us to believe them?
[17:10] Okita
    "We want proof. Proof that you've become our loyal dog.
[17:16] Okita
    Turn around three times and bark."
[17:18] Hijikata
    Those bastards...
[17:20] Okita
    It says, "Hijikata only."
[17:22] Hijikata
    Don't lie! You clearly tacked that on just now!
[17:25] Kondo
    You have no choice, Toshi. Do it for Otsu-chan.
[17:28] Makoto-Chan
    Yeah, you have no choice, Toshi.
[17:30] Hijikata
    I don't want you calling me Toshi.
[17:40] Reporter D
    Oh yes, he did it!
[17:42] Reporter D
    Toshiro Hijikata, the man feared as the demon vice-chief!
[17:45] Reporter D
    His attempt to make himself look good made it all the more embarrassing!
[17:50] Okita
    Hijikata-san, I made a mistake.
[17:52] Okita
    It actually read, "We're hungry, so prepare some curry."
[17:55] Hijikata
    What kind of mistake was that?!
SIGN    [Is hot curry okay? Or mild curry?]
[17:56] Hijikata
    The two sentences are totally different!
SIGN    Chief! That doesn't matter at all!
[18:03] Hanano Announcer
    What a sight to behold!
[18:05] Hanano Announcer
    The Shinsengumi, feared by the Anti-foregner ronin, are making curry!
[18:09] Hanano Announcer
    They're completely at the terrorist's beck and call!
[18:11] Otsu
    Everyone...
[18:13] Member A
    This is interesting. Maybe we can have some fun before our meal.
SIGN    [Do the robot dance.]
[18:19] Hijikata
    Shit. They're getting carried away. It says to do the robot dance. Okita only.
[18:25] Okita
    Seriously? I have no choice.
[18:27] Okita
    Rocket Punch!
[18:30] Hijikata
    They said "dance"! That's a killing technique!
[18:33] Okita
    It's a dance that begins with a Rocket Punch.
[18:36] Hijikata
    He's pretty good... What's with this guy? He has no weaknesses!
[18:40] Hijikata
    Mimic someone. Open to all.
[18:42] Hijikata
    I have no choice. I'll take this one.
[18:44] Hijikata
    I'll mimic Okita!
[18:47] Okita
    Mimicking a fractured skull!
[18:50] Hijikata
    Hey, you... Seriously, come on, let me hit you just once, okay?
[18:54] Hijikata
    I won't hurt, so please?
[18:56] Okita
    Nope.
[18:58] Hijikata
    Damn rotten kid!
[19:00] Hanano Announcer
    Uh-oh, there's dissension in the ranks!
[19:02] Hanano Announcer
    How the Shinsengumi has fallen!
[19:03] Hanano Announcer
    There's practically nothing left of it!
[19:05] Shinsengumi Member E
    Chief! Our image is getting worse and worse!
[19:08] Shinsengumi Member E
    Chief!
[19:09] Shinsengumi Member F
    The Chief ran away to the land of curry!
[19:12] Kondo
    Want seconds, Mako-chan?
[19:14] Makoto-Chan
    Now they've done it. Those guys really did it...
[19:19] Kondo
    Can't do anything about what's already done, Mako-chan...
[19:22] Kondo
    Mako-chan, you can go home. We'll take care of it from here.
[19:26] Gintoki
    We can't do that. I'm the image mascot... Your image mascot.
[19:31] Gintoki
    Otsu-chan paid us in advance, so we have to see the job though.
[19:34] Gintoki
    What is an image mascot? Is that the image we present?
[19:38] Gintoki
    Like this?
[19:39] Kondo
    Like how?
[19:41] Gintoki
    Stupid, dangerous, protectors of the peace in Edo.
[19:44] Kondo
    I only see the stupid part of it...
[19:46] Gintoki
    Well, time to get going... Hey, ready the curry.
[19:51] Kondo
    Hey, where're you going, Mako-chan?
[19:53] Gintoki
    Like I said. Mako-chan is your image mascot.
[19:57] Gintoki
    Stupid, dangerous and protectors of the peace in Edo.
SIGN    [Kill Kondo!!]
[20:06] Shinsengumi Member C
    They're getting carried away...
[20:08] Shinsengumi Member E
    Cut it out! You know we can't do that!
[20:11] Otsu
    Stop it, please. That's enough...
[20:13] Member A
    If you can't do it, then this woman dies in Kondo's place.
[20:17] Member A
    People who can't even protect one person are trying to protect Edo.
[20:21] ---
    What a laugh.
[20:22] Gintoki
    Hey there.
[20:24] Gintoki
    I've brought your curry.
[20:26] Member F
    What are you...?
[20:27] Gintoki
    I was hired part-time to be their mascot. How did I get mixed up in all of this?
[20:32] Member F
    We're having fun right now, so just go over there. Leave the curry there...
[20:37] Gintoki
    Around here?
[20:39] Kondo
    Okay!
[20:42] Kondo
    Come on!
[20:43] Shinsengumi Member C
    Chief! What're you doing?
[20:45] Shinsengumi Member D
    Stop horsing around!
[20:47] Kondo
    Otsu-chan! I'm sorry!
[20:49] Kondo
    After all you did to help us, this is who we are!
[20:55] Kondo
    We struggled to change, but we're still the same!
[20:58] Kondo
    We're still the same, crude bunch of guys that people hate!
[21:02] Kondo
    It's a crudeness we can't get rid of in just a day!
[21:06] Kondo
    But! Like you said,
[21:08] Kondo
    there are things we noticed as we struggled and looked at ourselves!
[21:12] Kondo
    We don't care how much people hate us, or how much they laugh at us!
[21:17] Kondo
    However!
[21:19] Kondo
    We absolutely do not want to become shameless men
[21:22] Kondo
    who cannot protect what we're supposed to protect!
[21:24] Kondo
    Draw your swords, men!
[21:26] Kondo
    Even if you must step over my corpse,
[21:28] Kondo
    there are things you men must protect!
[21:31] Kondo
    All right, charge!
[21:33] Gintoki
    I've brought your curry.
[21:35] Member D
    Okay, leave it there.
[21:37] Gintoki
    Right here?
[21:38] Member E
    Stop bothering us! This is the best part!
[21:40] Gintoki
    Oh, I'm sorry.
[21:48] Otsu
    Chief!
[21:52] Member B
    Ack! What're you guys doing?!
[21:56] Gintoki
    Now I've done it... Now I've done it...
[21:59] Member A
    What're you doing?!
[22:01] ---
    Kill them! Kill them!
[22:05] Yamazaki
    This wig is so itchy; I can't stand it.
[22:08] ---
    Otsu-san, please let me have your autograph later, okay?
[22:10] Member A (M)
    Damn that guy. He was hidden amongst the women the whole time.
[22:14] Member A
    Does that mean...?!
[22:19] Kondo
    Good-bye. Ramen noodle substitute.
[22:30] Tsunpo
    Those guys rock...
[22:32] Tsunpo
    Shinsuke... It would seem your ambitions aren't going to be easily achieved.
[22:41] Tsunpo
    Hello, Tsunpo here.
[22:43] ---
    Oh, Otsu-dono? You say you've come up with some good lyrics?
SIGN    [A Great Achievement for Makoto-chan!]
[22:46] Tsunpo
    What a coincidence. I just came up with a good tune.
[22:50] Tsunpo
    It's a bit on the heavy side, though.
SIGN    ["When Looking For Something You've Lost, Remember What You Were Doing On The Day You Lost It."]
[24:25] Gintoki
    Tatsuma, for someone who appears every week in the intro, we haven't seen you in a while.
SIGN    [Tatsuma Sakamoto travels across the galaxy doing business as the leader of the "Pleasure Support Club."]
SIGN    [Once upon a time, he, Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi were comrades who fought together in the Anti-foreigner War.]