E324 - Master of Kouan

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] (Flashback) Ub
    "The strongest man in the universe."
[00:08] (Flashback) Ub
    The people who call me that
    are but frogs in the well.
[00:13] (Flashback) Ub
    The universe is a big place.
[00:15] (Flashback) Ub
    A planet is no more than one of
    innumerable specks of sand within it,
[00:19] (Flashback) Ub
    and the world one can see in a lifetime
    is no more than a tiny part of the whole.
[00:24] (Flashback) M
    You mean to say there are
    many more stronger than you?
[00:27] (Flashback) M
    But you must've been the strongest
    man in the world my father saw.
[00:32] (Flashback) M
    Otherwise, he...
[00:33] (Flashback) M
    The captain of the Chidori Space Pirates
    wouldn't entrust his dear daughter to you,
[00:38] (Flashback) M
    Umibozu.
[00:40] (Flashback) M
    Or should I say, my father's
    old friend, Kanko?
[00:44] (Flashback) M
    You needn't say a thing.
[00:46] (Flashback) M
    I, Mutsu, shall withdraw our request myself.
[00:50] (Flashback) M
    You are far too great a man to
    be teaching someone like me.
[00:53] (Flashback) M
    But, whenever you feel like it,
[00:55] (Flashback) M
    would you come chat with this
    ignorant, sheltered bird in a cage?
[01:02] (Flashback) M
    And tell me about the innumerable specks
    of sand you have seen with your eyes?
SIGN    Gintama
SIGN    The Battle on Rakuyo
SIGN    Battle on Rakuyo Arc
    Part 8
SIGN    Master of Kouan
SIGN    Watch the Battle on Rakuyo arc in a bright room
    and at a safe distance from your TV!!
[02:45] U
    I sensed from the start that
    things between you and me
[02:48] U
    would eventually come to this point.
[02:52] U
    And, having met you, I think
    I have found my answer...
[02:55] U
    As to why, despite building an
    advanced interstellar civilization,
[02:59] U
    we still don't stop fighting.
[03:03] U
    It has nothing to do with
    standpoints, views, or creeds.
[03:08] U
    It comes from our fundamental
    nature as creatures.
[03:11] U
    No matter how far we evolve,
[03:14] U
    our psyche may always force us to determine
[03:16] U
    which of us are predators,
    and which of us are prey.
[03:21] U
    And when it comes to two creatures
    at the top of the food chain...
[03:27] Ub
    The strongest man in the universe?
[03:29] Ub
    Are you one of those fools who
    keep talking about that crap, too?
[03:33] Ub
    Well, I'm sorry, but I have
    no interest in that title.
[03:37] Ub
    Begone!
[03:39] Ub
    I don't care what happens to the world.
[03:41] Ub
    Even if I am a frog,
[03:43] Ub
    I will protect the well I live in,
    even if it kills me.
[03:49] Ub
    I'm fine with being just a frog.
[03:52] U
    You are no frog in the well.
[03:56] U
    As someone who has seen the rise and
    fall of many a species, I guarantee it.
[04:02] U
    But that's exactly why I know that,
[04:04] U
    even if you are a
    once-in-a-millennium warrior,
[04:09] U
    you cannot escape the principles of life.
[04:12] U
    Indeed, you will inevitably fall someday.
[04:17] U
    Because I have escaped
    the principles of life,
[04:20] U
    and you ended up standing in my way.
[04:26] Sak
    Mutsu! Hurry!
[04:32] (Flashback) UB
    Someone stronger than me?
[04:34] (Flashback) M
    Yes.
[04:35] (Flashback) M
    If you say that even you can't
    be called the strongest,
[04:38] (Flashback) M
    have you met anyone worthy of the title?
[04:41] (Flashback) UB
    Hosen, whom I fought when I was
    younger, was pretty strong.
[04:44] (Flashback) UB
    But that's only if we're talking
    about creatures like us.
[04:49] (Flashback) UB
    The things I've fought in my life as a hunter
[04:51] (Flashback) UB
    were all beyond comparable
    concepts such as strength.
[04:54] (Flashback) UB
    Could you compare anyone's strength
    to that of a typhoon or tsunami?
[04:57] (Flashback) M
    There's no need to.
[04:59] (Flashback) M
    Nobody else could stop a natural
    disaster by themselves.
[05:06] (Flashback) M
    I've heard of it, you know.
[05:07] (Flashback) M
    How you earned the title of "strongest."
[05:11] (Flashback) M
    The reason Yato hail you as a hero.
[05:15] (Flashback) M
    About the battle in which
    Umibozu took back our home.
[05:20] (Flashback) M
    The Yato's home planet, Kouan,
[05:22] (Flashback) M
    suffered an all-out attack by the
    Allied Planets during the Great War
[05:25] (Flashback) M
    and was destroyed along with many Yato.
[05:30] (Flashback) M
    Altana began to gush out of the ground,
[05:33] (Flashback) M
    and the ruined planet became
    a nest for mutant creatures.
[05:40] (Flashback) M
    Among them was something that made
    people call Kouan the planet of death...
[05:48] (Flashback) M
    The planetary parasite Orochi,
    considered the Master of Kouan.
[05:52] (Flashback) M
    It fed on the Altana
    reserves, grew 108 heads,
[05:56] (Flashback) M
    and eliminated anyone who
    dared approach its nest.
[06:00] (Flashback) M
    Everyone abandoned the place
[06:01] (Flashback) M
    and didn't approach it for centuries,
    but one man charged into its nest alone
[06:05] (Flashback) M
    and took back the Yato's home...
[06:08] (Flashback) M
    That was you, Umibozu, was it not?
[06:12] (Flashback) UB
    Took back our home?
[06:15] (Flashback) UB
    I just lost a bet with a friend.
[06:18] (Flashback) UB
    I said I'd go to our deserted home and hit
    on a woman if I lost a drinking battle.
[06:27] (Flashback) UB
    I'd never experienced
    anything like it before.
[06:30] (Flashback) UB
    The moment I saw them,
[06:34] (Flashback) UB
    it stood up.
[06:38] (Flashback) M
    Stood up?
[06:39] (Flashback) M
    What did?
[06:40] (Flashback) UB
    I guess it was too early for you, kid.
[06:42] (Flashback) UB
    Well, you could call it my instinct.
[06:45] (Flashback) UB
    The moment I laid eyes on them,
[06:46] (Flashback) UB
    my genes immediately came to a conclusion.
[06:49] (Flashback) UB
    "You're going to die."
[06:51] (Flashback) UB
    "Hurry up and make some babies," they said.
[07:00] (Flashback) UB
    I went after them again and again,
    but I just couldn't break through.
[07:05] (Flashback) UB
    It felt like I was fighting
    the earth I stood on.
[07:09] (Flashback) UB
    Like I was a mere insect
    going up against a planet.
[07:14] (Flashback) M
    Your genes admitted defeat before you did?
[07:17] (Flashback) UB
    Simply put, I felt fear for
    the first time in my life.
[07:22] (Flashback) UB
    But, as much as his genes
    may cry out in terror,
[07:25] (Flashback) UB
    a man cannot cry until his battle is over.
[07:28] (Flashback) UB
    So I told my right ball...
[07:31] UB
    Quit rattling.
[07:33] UB
    Lefty, you shut up and watch, too.
[07:35] UB
    I planted my seeds a long time ago.
[07:38] UB
    My best ones, in fact.
[07:40] UB
    So let me fight! Let me protect my family!
[08:00] (Flashback) M
    I don't believe it.
[08:02] (Flashback) M
    You suppressed your instincts by force?
[08:06] (Flashback) UB
    Thanks to that, my worldly desires died down,
[08:08] (Flashback) UB
    and I could hit on the
    woman with a clear mind.
[08:10] (Flashback) M
    The woman?
[08:11] (Flashback) M
    Was the Orochi female?
[08:13] (Flashback) UB
    What are you talking about?
[08:15] (Flashback) UB
    Why would I crush one of my balls
    to fight a scrub like that?
[08:20] UB
    Is that arm regenerating?
[08:23] (Flashback) UB
    Like I said,
[08:24] (Flashback) UB
    I was on that planet to hit on a woman.
[08:27] UB
    I see.
[08:29] UB
    I knew it...
[08:31] UB
    You really are just like her.
    A being of Altana...
[08:34] (Flashback) M
    Who are you talking about?
[08:34] U
    Who are you talking about?
[08:46] UB
    I'm talking about the woman
    I risked my life to court.
[09:06] (Flashback) UB
    On the Yato's home planet, which had
    fallen to ruin a long time ago,
[09:09] (Flashback) UB
    on the planet of death...
[09:13] (Flashback) UB
    There stood a woman.
[09:29] (Flashback) UB
    And I, too, stood tall.
[09:34] (Flashback) UB
    I can't believe there
    really was someone here.
[09:39] (Flashback) UB
    Hey, wait!
[09:41] (Flashback) Ko
    This planet isn't dead or anything.
[09:44] (Flashback) Ko
    It may have become uninhabitable for people,
[09:46] (Flashback) Ko
    but these guys still live here,
    eating the rotten earth,
[09:49] (Flashback) Ko
    those guys still live here,
    drinking the rotten water,
[09:53] (Flashback) Ko
    and I still live here.
[09:55] (Flashback) Ko
    All that happened was that one species
    among many on this planet died out.
[10:00] (Flashback) Ko
    You shouldn't judge an entire
    planet by your standards alone.
[10:04] (Flashback) Ko
    Leave.
[10:06] (Flashback) Ko
    I don't want to erase another life
    from this planet to save an intruder.
[10:11] (Flashback) Ko
    I must put them to sleep.
[10:14] (Flashback) UB
    That's when I learned
[10:17] (Flashback) UB
    that "Master of Kouan"
[10:22] (Flashback) UB
    referred to that woman.
[10:25] (Flashback) UB
    Hey, wai—
[10:36] (Flashback) UB
    I said wait!
[10:40] (Flashback) UB
    Out of my way!
[10:45] (Flashback) UB
    Listen to me!
[10:51] (Flashback) UB
    "That woman is dangerous."
[10:53] (Flashback) UB
    That's what my instincts told me.
[10:55] (Flashback) UB
    But, at the same time, they
    were also telling me this...
[10:58] (Flashback) UB
    H-Hey, lady.
[11:01] (Flashback) UB
    If you don't mind, why don't
    we forget about this Orochi
[11:03] (Flashback) UB
    and go take out the Orochi in my pants?
[11:09] (Flashback) UB
    "She is the one."
[11:12] (Flashback) UB
    For three days and three nights, she kept
    fighting to put the Orochi to sleep.
[11:17] (Flashback) UB
    And I kept trying to woo her in order
    to put the Orochi in my pants to sleep.
[11:25] (Flashback) UB
    Why don't we go get some coffee?
[11:28] (Flashback) UB
    But she paid no heed to me at all.
[11:38] (Flashback) UB
    Just as she took out the 59th head
    and the Orochi began to retreat,
[11:47] (Flashback) UB
    I suppressed my last Orochi, too.
[11:51] (Flashback) UB
    There was something I wanted to tell her not
    out of instinct, but with my own words.
[11:56] (Flashback) UB
    My name is Kanko.
[11:59] (Flashback) UB
    I'll ask your name next
    time I'm here or something.
[12:02] (Flashback) UB
    If the Master of Kouan will
    let me come here, that is.
[12:06] (Flashback) Ko
    Did you tag along all this
    while just to say that?
[12:10] (Flashback) UB
    When you visit someone else's home,
[12:12] (Flashback) UB
    it's common courtesy to first knock
    on their door and introduce yourself.
[12:15] (Flashback) UB
    Sorry for causing a fuss.
[12:17] (Flashback) UB
    Tell your family I apologize, Master.
[12:23] (Flashback) Ko
    This isn't someone else's home.
[12:25] (Flashback) Ko
    It's your homeland.
[12:27] (Flashback) Ko
    If you want to come back, feel free.
[12:30] (Flashback) Ko
    Though, as far as I know,
[12:32] (Flashback) Ko
    you're the only weirdo who's ever come
    back here, let alone knocked on the door.
[12:39] (Flashback) Ko
    The Orochi wasn't trying to get rid of you.
[12:42] (Flashback) Ko
    It just got excited and wanted to play.
[12:45] (Flashback) Ko
    We thought everyone had
    forgotten this planet,
[12:47] (Flashback) Ko
    but there was someone out
    there who remembered us.
[12:50] (Flashback) Ko
    Maybe that made it happy.
[12:53] (Flashback) Ko
    Also, I'm not the Master of Kouan.
[12:57] (Flashback) Ko
    I'm Kouka.
[13:00] (Flashback) UB
    After that, I began going home regularly.
[13:04] (Flashback) UB
    At some point, the Orochi
    stopped attacking me.
[13:10] (Flashback) Ko
    Maybe it accepted you as part of this planet,
[13:14] (Flashback) Ko
    or maybe it accepted you as its new master.
[13:17] (Flashback) Ko
    You might actually be suited to the role.
[13:20] (Flashback) UB
    There's nothing good to eat.
[13:22] (Flashback) UB
    All you can find here is
    rotten earth and water.
[13:25] (Flashback) UB
    I wouldn't even last ten days here.
[13:27] (Flashback) UB
    Kouka, why do you stay here?
[13:30] (Flashback) Ko
    I'm the same as you all.
[13:36] (Flashback) Ko
    You abandoned the planet because
    you couldn't live here anymore.
[13:41] (Flashback) Ko
    I can't live anywhere but here.
[13:44] (Flashback) Ko
    That's why I remain.
[13:46] (Flashback) Ko
    The few Yato who survived the Great
    War scattered to other planets.
[13:52] (Flashback) Ko
    But there were some who chose
    to die with their home.
[13:57] (Flashback) Ko
    Most of them died sooner than
    they normally would have.
[14:01] (Flashback) Ko
    However, some among them could
    adapt to this harsh environment.
[14:06] (Flashback) Ko
    I am a descendant of that admirable clan,
[14:09] (Flashback) Ko
    its sole survivor.
[14:11] (Flashback) Ko
    If it came down to it, I could even
    eat your stinky boots to survive.
[14:16] (Flashback) Ko
    I'd rather die, though.
[14:18] (Flashback) UB
    If you don't have any family or friends here,
[14:21] (Flashback) UB
    you don't have a reason to live
    alone here, eating boots to survive.
[14:25] (Flashback) Ko
    But I don't have a reason
    to leave, either, do I?
[14:28] (Flashback) UB
    Any other place would be
    heaven compared to this.
[14:31] (Flashback) UB
    Besides,
[14:33] (Flashback) UB
    aren't you lonely?
[14:35] (Flashback) Ko
    Lonely?
[14:37] (Flashback) Ko
    The thought never crossed my mind.
[14:39] (Flashback) Ko
    Could something like that
    be a reason to leave?
[14:44] (Flashback) Ko
    Even if it could,
[14:45] (Flashback) Ko
    I forgot a long time ago when you're
    supposed to feel that emotion.
[14:51] (Flashback) Ko
    I was born and raised on this planet.
[14:54] (Flashback) Ko
    No baby hates the cradle it slept in, right?
[14:59] (Flashback) Ko
    I don't know how you see it,
[15:01] (Flashback) Ko
    but I quite enjoy this life, where I get
    to hog an entire planet and do as I please.
[15:08] (Flashback) Ko
    Also, it's not like I can't have fun here.
[15:11] (Flashback) Ko
    I can read all the books on the planet,
[15:13] (Flashback) Ko
    sing at the top of my lungs
    without worrying about anyone,
[15:17] (Flashback) Ko
    and toy with the occasional
    invader that shows up.
[15:24] (Flashback) UB
    I always told her stories about
    all the planets I'd visited.
[15:29] (Flashback) UB
    I thought she'd find them interesting
    because she'd never set foot off of Kouan.
[15:35] (Flashback) UB
    And she always listened to me
    with a bored look on her face.
[15:48] (Flashback) UB
    But then, one day...
[15:50] (Flashback) Ko
    Kanko.
[15:52] (Flashback) Ko
    Enough.
[15:54] (Flashback) Ko
    I've grown sick of listening.
[15:58] (Flashback) Ko
    I want to see another
    planet with my own eyes.
[16:01] (Flashback) UB
    B-But you...
[16:04] (Flashback) Ko
    I don't mind if it's from afar.
[16:07] (Flashback) Ko
    Would you take me?
[16:12] (Flashback) UB
    She gazed at it without saying a word,
[16:15] (Flashback) UB
    wearing the same bored expression as always.
[16:18] (Flashback) UB
    But she gazed at it intently,
    without budging an inch.
[16:22] (Flashback) UB
    Is it pretty?
[16:24] (Flashback) UB
    That's what most planets
    people live on look like.
[16:28] (Flashback) UB
    Have you heard of Earth?
[16:29] (Flashback) Ko
    Earth?
[16:31] (Flashback) UB
    Apparently, it's a remote planet
    that's still developing,
[16:34] (Flashback) UB
    but it's blessed with clear
    water and fertile land,
[16:37] (Flashback) UB
    and is said to be very beautiful.
[16:41] (Flashback) UB
    Would you like to go see Earth with me?
[16:47] (Flashback) UB
    No, not just Earth.
[16:49] (Flashback) UB
    If there's anywhere you want to go,
[16:51] (Flashback) UB
    the great Umibozu will bring you away
    from that rotten planet and take you.
[16:56] (Flashback) UB
    So, be my... m-my...
[17:02] (Flashback) UB
    Be my, uh, partner!
[17:05] (Flashback) UB
    Y-Yeah! My business partner!
[17:07] (Flashback) UB
    If we teamed up, we could be the
    strongest alien hunters ever!
[17:10] (Flashback) UB
    Don't you agree?
[17:12] (Flashback) Ko
    Partner, huh?
[17:14] (Flashback) Ko
    That doesn't sound bad.
[17:16] (Flashback) Ko
    If that were possible,
[17:20] (Flashback) Ko
    I bet it'd be really fun.
[17:26] (Flashback) UB
    That day...
[17:27] (Flashback) UB
    Even though she never used to see me off,
[17:30] (Flashback) UB
    she didn't take her eyes
    off my ship as it flew off.
[17:54] (Flashback) UB
    It didn't hit me until then.
[17:56] (Flashback) UB
    The reason she never used to see me off.
[18:00] (Flashback) UB
    The reason she saw me off that day.
[18:03] (Flashback) UB
    I spent twelve whole days looking everywhere,
[18:05] (Flashback) UB
    but I couldn't find her.
[18:15] (Flashback) UB
    That's when I saw the
    Orochi standing silently.
[18:25] (Flashback) Ko
    This is a problem.
[18:28] (Flashback) Ko
    When did you tame the Orochi to this extent?
[18:34] (Flashback) Ko
    I wasn't going to see you anymore.
[18:37] (Flashback) Ko
    Why'd you come here?
[18:40] (Flashback) Ko
    Didn't I tell you that I belong to the
    clan that would die with this planet?
[18:46] (Flashback) Ko
    I've lived all my life by myself.
[18:48] (Flashback) Ko
    I have to live by myself.
[18:53] (Flashback) Ko
    So why?
[18:57] (Flashback) Ko
    Why do you remind me of these feelings?
[19:03] (Flashback) UB
    I'm sorry, Kouka.
[19:05] (Flashback) UB
    But I'm the same as you.
[19:08] (Flashback) UB
    Even if I'm on a planet bustling with life,
[19:11] (Flashback) UB
    even if I have thousands of people around me,
[19:15] (Flashback) UB
    I still feel lonely without you by my side.
[19:25] (Flashback) UB
    I don't want to let you die alone.
[19:28] (Flashback) UB
    If you want to stay here, then so will I.
[19:33] (Flashback) UB
    If you want to go somewhere else,
[19:35] (Flashback) UB
    I'll go anywhere with you.
[19:38] (Flashback) UB
    So...
[19:39] (Flashback) UB
    Die with me, Kouka.
[19:46] (Flashback) Ko
    I'm betraying my clan.
[19:51] (Flashback) Ko
    I feel like the planet's asking me
    if I'm going to abandon it, too.
[19:59] (Flashback) UB
    Really?
[20:11] (Flashback) UB
    If you ask me,
[20:13] (Flashback) UB
    it looks like it's thanking you.
[20:17] (Flashback) UB
    Like it's saying, "thanks for everything."
[20:29] (Flashback) M
    I see.
[20:30] (Flashback) M
    Legend calls you a hero who took the Yato
    home from the monstrous "Master of Kouan,"
[20:37] (Flashback) M
    but you were actually a Casanova who wooed
    her and took her from the dying planet?
[20:44] (Flashback) UB
    Legend, my foot.
[20:47] (Flashback) UB
    The strongest creature the
    great Umibozu ever encountered
[20:51] (Flashback) UB
    can be found all over the universe...
[20:54] (Flashback) UB
    A wife.
[20:56] (Flashback) UB
    And I, just like every other
    pitiful man in the universe,
[20:59] (Flashback) UB
    ended up under my wife's thumb, basically.
[21:03] (Flashback) M
    That's hilarious.
[21:05] (Flashback) M
    The strongest man in the universe
    was the weakest in his household?
[21:09] (Flashback) UB
    Don't laugh.
[21:11] (Flashback) UB
    A household is a whole other universe.
[21:14] (Flashback) M
    But it's a fine legend.
[21:16] (Flashback) M
    Rather than stories about lonesome
    monsters dying all alone,
[21:20] (Flashback) M
    I prefer ordinary stories about finding
    companionship, parenthood, and a family.
[21:31] (Flashback) UB
    You can say that again.
[21:33] (Flashback) UB
    Building a legend of being
    the strongest means nothing.
[21:36] (Flashback) UB
    Building such ordinary happiness
    is far more valuable.
[21:43] (Flashback) UB
    I knew nothing back then.
[21:48] (Flashback) UB
    I can't live anywhere but this planet.
[21:52] (Flashback) UB
    Not even what her words truly meant.
[21:56] (Flashback) UB
    I'm neither a hero nor a father.
[22:01] Kam
    He's a murderer.
[22:03] Kam
    That man killed our mother.
SIGN    To Be Continued
SIGN    Preview
[23:44] UB
    I'll take care of Mom's illness somehow.
[23:46] Ko
    Good grief. He inherited all your stupidity.
[23:49] Kam
    Take us away.
SIGN    Battle on Rakuyo Arc
    Part 9
[23:51] Kam
    Take Mom and me away from this planet.
SIGN    The Lost Rabbit
SIGN    To protect his family, the young Kamui sought something.
SIGN    His earnest desire grows twisted with time...
SIGN    Can the bald old man reform his stupid son?
SIGN    And how will his fight with the monster that barged in end?