E10 - Eat Something Sour When You’re Tired

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Shinpachi
    Gin, Gin, you won't believe this!
[00:02] Gin
    What's up, Four-eyes?
[00:04] Shinpachi
    That guy who was stalking my sister!
[00:06] ---
    He's Isao Kondo, the bureau chief of the Shinsengumi!
[00:09] Gin
    Oh yeah, I heard.
[00:10] Shinpachi
    Huh? Who'd you hear it from?
[00:12] Gin
    From Ogushi.
[00:13] Shinpachi
    Ogushi?
[00:14] Gin
    Yup, Ogushi.
SIGN    [Gather around, kiddies! It's a big, white doggy!]
SIGN    [All you nice girls, gather around, too! It's a black-hearted and dishonest guy!]
[01:56] Kagura
    Granny, give me some pickled seaweed!
[02:00] Granny
    Thanks for coming!
[02:04] Kagura
    Deer poop...
SIGN    [Odd Jobs Gin]
[02:10] Brats
    What the hell is with its size?! No way, absolutely no way!
[02:16] Kagura
    What the hell are you doing hanging around the front of my place, you brats?!
[02:20] Kagura
    Find a dirty magazine or something?
[02:23] Brat A
    Ah! It's the seaweed girl!
[02:25] Brat B
    Run! Or you'll smell sour like her!
[02:31] Kagura
    Humph! Little brats can go suck their moms' teats.
SIGN    [To Odd Jobs Gin]
SIGN    [Eat Something Sour When You're Tired]
[02:47] Announcer
    All right, let's hear from the Space Port, "Terminal."
[02:51] ---
    Miss Ketsuno!
[02:52] ---
    Ketsuno! Ana!
[02:54] Ketsuno
    Ketsuno here!
[02:56] ---
    Here at the Terminal, hoards of reporters are waiting for the arrival of Prince Hata.
[03:04] Ketsuno
    Oh, the gate at the Terminal is opening!
[03:07] ---
    It seems Prince Hata's spaceship has arrived.
[03:24] Ketsuno
    On his return visit to Edo, Prince Baka...uh,
[03:28] Ketsuno
    I mean, Prince Hata will be making visits to the newly constructed Oedo Zoo,
[03:31] Ketsuno
    along with many other zoos and aquariums.
[03:35] Ketsuno
    Oh, there he is! It's Prince Hata of the Midland Star Planet!
[03:43] Hata
    It's been a long time, everyone! I am overjoyed.
[03:49] Hata
    No need for formalities... No need.
[03:57] Jii
    Prince! Who did that?
[03:59] ---
    You?! Or you?!
[04:01] Jii [Overlap]
    Was it you?!
[04:03] Ketsuno
    Ketsuno reporting from the site.
[04:06] Shinpachi
    So that stupid animal-obsessed prince is back. Huh, Gin?
[04:15] Shinpachi
    Hey? Are you listening?
[04:18] Kagura
    I'm back.
[04:20] Shinpachi
    Welcome back.
[04:22] Shinpachi
    Didja get toilet paper?
[04:24] Kagura
    Here you go.
[04:26] Shinpachi
    Kagura, listen...
[04:28] ---
    don't people usually buy them in packs of several rolls?
[04:32] ---
    What if someone gets the big "D"? No way will this be enough.
[04:35] Kagura
    Quit nagging about the toilet paper!
[04:38] ---
    What are you, my mother-in-law?
[04:40] Kagura
    There are poor samurai in this world who use newspaper for toilet paper!
[04:44] Shinpachi
    There aren't any extremists like that! Who told you that anyway?
[04:48] Kagura
    Gin said so!
[04:49] Shinpachi
    You can't trust anything he says.
[04:52] Gin
    Shut up.
[04:53] Kagura
    Don't act like you know it all when your butt is still green, you idol otaku!
[04:57] Shinpachi
    What?! You're younger than me!
[05:01] Gin
    Shinpachi, what's that white thing?
[05:04] Shinpachi
    What else? Toilet paper.
[05:08] Gin
    Not that! The big white one!
[05:10] Shinpachi
    Can you quit talking about dirty stuff like "big thing" or "little thing"?
[05:14] ---
    It's because of the way you talk that Kagura is...
[05:18] Shinpachi
    Gyaaa! What is this?!
[05:21] Kagura
    I found it outside. Isn't it cute?
[05:24] Gin
    Forget where it was!
[05:26] Gin
    If you're gonna pick something up, at least know what it is!
[05:30] Kagura
    Sadaharu.
[05:30] Shinpachi
    You just named it! You totally made that name up just now!
SIGN    [To Odd Jobs Gin]
[05:33] Kagura
    This was stuck in his collar.
[05:36] Shinpachi
    Let's see... To Odd Jobs Gin.
[05:40] ---
    I'm very sorry, but please take my pet in.
[05:45] Gin
    Is that all?
[05:46] Shinpachi
    "LOL" in parenthesis.
[05:49] Gin
    How can I be laughing! I'm "Mad" in parenthesis!
[05:53] Gin
    In other words, it was abandoned!
[05:55] Gin
    We're not a charity!
[05:58] ---
    Get rid of it! Now! Shoo! Shoo!
[05:59] Kagura
    Nuh-uh! We abandon it in this heartless town, it'll die!
[06:05] Gin
    Don't worry. Sadaharu can manage alone.
[06:09] Shinpachi
    What do you know about Sadaharu anyway?!
[06:12] Gin
    You understand, don't you, Sadaha-
[06:26] Hata
    Earth is so much fun!
[06:28] Hata
    Perhaps it's because the environment is so nice, but there are so many different living things!
[06:33] ---
    I never tire of coming here.
[06:35] ---
    Don't you agree, Jii?
[06:36] Jii
    Yes, my prince.
[06:39] Hata
    The last time I came to Edo, I had a terrible time.
[06:48] Hata
    So now, I wanna check all the zoos in Edo and take back any unusual creatures.
[06:54] ---
    Don't you agree, Jii?
[06:56] Jii
    What a bother.
[06:59] Hata
    Did you say something?
[07:00] Jii
    No, nothing, Prince Baka.
[07:03] Hata
    You just called me baka.
[07:05] Jii
    Who said baka?! You? Or you? It was you, huh?!
[07:09] Hata
    Wasn't it you?
[07:11] Jii
    This is the Ultra Giraffe, which was found on Nebula M78.
[07:16] Hata
    So cute!
[07:20] Jii
    By the way, it eats people.
[07:23] Jii
    This is the Iscandar Elephant from the Great Mazeran Cloud.
[07:27] Hata
    This one's cute, too!
[07:30] Jii
    By the way, when it stretches its trunk...it eats people.
[07:35] Jii
    This is the Petit Penguin, which inhabits Lilliput Planet.
[07:39] Hata
    This one better be safe.
[07:41] Jii
    The penguin doesn't eat people.
[07:44] Jii
    However, the white polar bear below it does.
[07:47] Hata
    Are you trying to kill me?!
[07:52] Okita
    Man, Hijikata,
[07:54] Okita
    what are we doing out here looking for an animal?
[07:58] Hijikata
    I'm not sure, either.
[08:00] Hijikata
    But I did hear that it's to be presented during an audience with some VIP who's making a visit here.
[08:05] Okita
    Well, if we don't even know who this VIP is, any animal we catch should suffice.
[08:12] Hijikata
    Well, by any animal...
[08:17] Hijikata
    What the hell are you doing?!
[08:19] Okita
    Something to present to some VIP.
[08:22] Hijikata
    Cut it out, or do you wanna die?!
[08:26] Okita
    Can you end your sentences with a bow-wow?
[08:28] Hijikata
    Not likely!
SIGN    [Looking for someone to adopt! Cute, white puppy! Inquire at Odd Jobs Gin.]
[08:34] Hijikata
    What's this?
[08:37] Gin
    Anyway, until we find someone to adopt him, I'll allow Shigeo to stay here.
[08:43] Shinpachi
    It's not Shigeo! It's Sadaharu.
[08:46] Gin
    But once we find another owner, Tatsunori is out of here!
[08:51] Shinpachi
    I said it's Sadaharu!
[08:53] Kagura
    Sadaharu is so cute! Why don't you like him?
[08:58] Gin
    Men can't believe what women call "cute."
[09:02] Kagura
    Shinpachi, are you like that, too?
[09:03] Kagura
    Wearing the kind of glasses an otaku who's into cutesy girls would wear.
[09:06] Kagura
    And yet you're into sexy women, too?
[09:10] Shinpachi
    Who are you calling otaku?!
[09:12] Kagura
    Just try petting him! I'm sure you'll think he's cute!
[09:21] Shinpachi
    G-Get him off me, Kagura.
[09:24] Gin
    It's heavy.
[09:25] Kagura
    So you understand how heavy my heart feels now?
[09:27] Shinpachi
    Th-That's not what he meant.
[09:30] Kagura
    Being loved is a heavy burden.
[09:33] ---
    But Sadaharu and I will be okay!
[09:37] Gin
    I-I can't breathe...
[09:39] Gin
    It feels like the chocolate coronet I just ate is gonna come out of both ends.
[09:52] Otose
    They've been making a racket all day!
[09:59] Gin
    Hey, quit running around in here!
[10:03] Shinpachi
    Kagura! You have to train him!
[10:06] Kagura
    Even if he's mischievous, I'm gonna raise him strong and healthy!
[10:10] Shinpachi
    Your mischievous behavior could kill people!
[10:14] Shinpachi
    What's wrong, Gin?
[10:16] Gin
    Sadaharu just made a little debut on my JUMP!
[10:21] Kagura
    A little debut? You're so modest!
[10:27] Shinpachi
    He went on to make a major debut on Otsu's debut single!
[10:32] Otsu
    Otsu featuring Sadaharu!
[10:36] Gin/Shinpachi
    Sadaharu, why I oughta!
[10:36] Gin/Shinpachi
    Sadaharu, why I oughta!
[10:41] Gin/Shinpachi
    S-Sorry...
[10:45] Gin
    What's up?
[10:47] Otose
    What's the deal, you coming in here?
[10:50] Otose
    I don't have any money to lend you.
[10:52] Gin
    That's not it.
[10:53] Gin
    I came to pay the rent.
[10:57] Otose
    What kind of prank is this?
[10:59] Otose
    There must be a hidden camera somewhere.
[11:02] Gin
    It's not like that! I just thought I'd at least pay this month's rent.
[11:10] Otose
    Yes, it's a hot day today.
[11:13] Gin
    Hey, hold it!
[11:15] ---
    Come on! This is Lassie's second cousin!
[11:18] ---
    He should be worth a month's rent!
[11:20] Otose
    I don't want it even if it's the cousin of the Dog of Flanders!
[11:32] Gin
    OK, here's the plan.
[11:34] ---
    While Kagura is taking a nap, we'll go look for another owner.
[11:39] Shinpachi
    Plan? Are you sure? Kagura will be very upset.
[11:44] Gin
    It's all right.
[11:45] Gin
    By experiencing harsh reality, a young girl climbs the stairway to maturity.
[11:49] ---
    And an idol otaku graduates from fandom.
[11:52] Shinpachi
    Do you mean me?! Are you talking about me?!
[11:54] Shinpachi
    No way! I'll never graduate!
[11:56] Gin
    Let's go!
[11:59] Gin
    Hey, move it! You giant poop vendor!
[12:07] Hijikata
    It should be around here.
[12:10] Okita
    Hijikata...
[12:13] Hijikata
    What're you doing?
[12:15] Okita
    Watch out.
[12:29] Hijikata
    Wh-What?! It's him!
[12:37] Kagura
    Mmm... Huh? Sadaharu?
[12:41] ---
    Sadaharu?
[12:43] Gin
    He's finally settled down.
[12:45] Shinpachi
    What're we gonna do?
[12:47] Shinpachi
    I doubt there's anyone who wants to adopt Sadaharu.
[12:50] Gin
    Don't worry. I have an idea.
[12:54] Shinpachi
    Wahh! Another debut!
[12:59] Shinpachi
    My house is your idea?!
[13:01] Shinpachi
    You plan to dump off Sadaharu at my place?!
[13:03] Gin
    Well, your sister's having trouble with a stalker, right?
[13:08] Shinpachi
    You took care of that the other day!
[13:11] Gin
    We help each other out when we can.
[13:13] ---
    He'll be the perfect guard dog.
[13:15] Shinpachi
    Listen to me, damn it!
[13:17] Gin
    Don't bite!
[13:19] Otae
    Oh?
[13:20] Otae
    What are you two doing?
[13:22] Kagura
    Sheesh! Where'd Sadaharu and Gin go?
[13:27] Gin
    So, you think you could take this dog in?
[13:30] Otae
    We already have a useless adolescent boy.
[13:34] ---
    To take in one more...
[13:36] Shinpachi
    Isn't "useless" a bit harsh?
[13:38] Shinpachi
    Besides, Sis, this is a dog!
[13:43] Gin
    Seriously, please! Sadaharu says he prefers it here.
[13:47] Kagura
    What do you mean by that?!
[13:52] Kagura
    While my back was turned!
[13:54] Gin
    No, you've got it all wrong.
[13:56] ---
    This is for Sadaharu's sake.
[13:58] Kagura
    You're terrible, Gin!
[14:04] Otae
    Hey, he seems to like you quite a lot.
[14:20] Kagura
    Sadaharu!
[14:22] Kagura
    Come here!
[14:26] Gin
    Boy, they get on like a house on fire. Makes you wanna smile, huh, Shinpachi?
[14:30] Shinpachi
    Yes. I guess girls and big goofy dogs go together, Gin.
[14:40] Gin
    I wonder why it just won't take to us?
[14:43] Shinpachi
    It knows that we're trying to get rid of him.
[14:45] Shinpachi
    It's the instinct of the wild.
[14:48] Gin
    Why is it so attached to her, Shinpachi?
[14:51] Shinpachi
    It isn't, Gin.
[14:59] Shinpachi
    It's attacking her, but Kagura doesn't think anything of it, Gin.
[15:03] Kagura
    Quit playing around!
[15:04] Gin
    I see, so that's how it is, huh, Shinpachi.
[15:07] Shinpachi
    Yep.
[15:12] Kagura
    There!
[15:14] Gin
    You seem to be having fun.
[15:16] Kagura
    Yup!
[15:17] Kagura
    I love animals.
[15:19] Kagura
    All girls love cute things. Don't need a reason for that.
[15:25] Gin
    That's cute?
[15:29] Kagura
    Of course, it's cute!
[15:30] Kagura
    This is the first time an animal has gotten so attached to me!
[15:33] Shinpachi
    Kagura, you should realize it already.
[15:36] Kagura
    I...
[15:37] ---
    ...used to have pet long ago.
[15:40] Kagura
    Sadaharu No.1!
[15:42] Kagura (N)
    Sadaharu No.1 was super cute and I loved him so much.
[15:48] Kagura (N)
    I kept Sadaharu No.1 outside, but one night, I really, really wanted to sleep with him,
[15:53] ---
    so I snuggled with him under the covers without telling my parents.
[15:56] Kagura (N)
    I had a nightmare and thrashed around all night.
[16:05] Kagura (N)
    It was a terrible nightmare and when I woke up...
[16:07] ---
    Sadaharu was lying there stiff.
[16:13] Shinpachi (M)
    Should I be laughing or crying?
[16:18] Kagura (N)
    After that, I swore I'd never get close to animals.
[16:22] ---
    I'm not good at controlling my strength, and I only end up hurting them.
[16:27] Kagura
    But maybe this Sadaharu and I will make a good pair.
[16:32] ---
    He's a gift from the heavens. I'm sure of it, uh-huh.
[16:38] Kagura
    I forgot I'm out of pickled seaweed. I'm gonna go and buy some.
[16:43] Kagura
    Take care of Sadaharu for me!
[16:47] Gin
    Hey, wait!
[16:58] ---
    Hey, Sadaharu!
[17:00] Shinpachi
    G-G-Gin!
[17:02] Shinpachi
    Gin!
[17:04] Shinpachi
    H-Help!
[17:05] Gin
    I'm saved!
[17:14] Shinpachi
    He looks cute sleeping like that.
[17:16] Gin
    He's a demon in a dog's clothing.
[17:20] Gin
    In a manic world with ferocious dogs, we must watch our hearts!
[17:24] Shinpachi
    But after watching Kagura love it so much, it's sorta...
[17:29] Hijikata
    Oh, there you are.
[17:32] Gin
    Huh? You guys?
[17:35] Gin
    What's up with you? Don't you even work during the day?
[17:37] Gin
    Looking for a companion to have fun with?
[17:40] Hijikata
    Like I'd invite you to join our fun! A fight's different, though!
[17:43] Gin
    That fight you picked last time? I gave it right back to you.
[17:48] Hijikata
    Fine!
[17:49] Hijikata
    Then this time, I'll give it right back to you with a fruit basket as a bonus!
[17:55] Okita
    By the way... Is that your dog?
[17:59] Gin
    It's not really my dog. Why you asking?
[18:03] Hijikata
    Don't go off talking without me!
[18:06] Okita
    There's a certain someone connected to the upper ranks of the government
[18:07] Okita
    who's interested in animals like that.
[18:11] ---
    We'd like you to hand that dog over to the Shinsengumi.
[18:14] Gin
    Forget it. I wouldn't give it to guys like you.
[18:17] ---
    Don't ever forget that I don't bow down to the Shinsengumi.
[18:21] Hijikata
    You're forgetting that I'm standing right here!
[18:28] Hijikata
    Damn! What'll we do, Sogo?
[18:31] Okita
    I think you'll just have to end your sentences with bow-wow.
[18:34] Hijikata
    As if!
[18:36] Shinpachi
    Gin, did you refuse for Kagura's sake?
[18:40] Gin
    Naw...
[18:43] Gin
    I just don't like doing what I'm told.
[18:54] Prince
    Oh...There's no animal that catches my eye.
[18:58] ---
    Every one of them seems to be lacking in something.
[19:01] Jii
    You are right.
[19:03] Prince
    Isn't there anything we can do?
[19:09] Jii
    Look out!
[19:14] Prince
    Jii!
[19:15] Prince
    What have you done?!
[19:18] Jii
    Calm down, my prince!
[19:19] Jii
    I will go and find a time machine.
[19:23] Prince
    You calm down, Jii.
[19:26] Prince
    Wh-What is this?!
[19:29] Jii
    What's wrong, my prince?
[19:31] Prince
    Jii! Look at this!
[19:33] Jii
    Did you find a time machine?!
[19:34] Prince
    No! You old geezer!
[19:36] Jii
    This is...a Dog God! What a rare species.
[19:40] Prince
    Do you have a rope?
[19:42] Jii
    Should we be doing this, my prince?
[19:45] Jii
    We're behaving like common criminals.
[19:47] Prince
    This is conservation! I can't allow such a precious specimen to stay in the wild!
[19:50] Prince
    All right, let's go!
[19:52] Jii
    Yes, sire.
[19:54] Prince
    I've added to my collection again!
[20:01] Kagurakagura
    Deer poop...
[20:07] Kagura
    Sadaharu!
[20:10] Prince
    The last time I was here, I had a horrible time
[20:13] Prince
    with that silver-haired man and that weird girl.
[20:16] ---
    But this'll finally ease the pain of losing Pesu.
[20:19] Prince
    Right, Jii?
[20:20] Jii
    Absolutely.
[20:23] Jii
    A-A zombie!
[20:26] Gin
    Hey, stop the car, you jerk.
[20:28] Jii
    Y-You again!
[20:31] Gin
    I gave it a lot of thought,
[20:33] Gin
    but cut me some slack on this one here.
[20:36] Gin
    Seems she's really taken a liking to that thing.
[20:39] Jii
    What are you blabbering about?! Move!
[20:42] ---
    I can't see in front of me, dammit!
[20:48] Jii
    Wha--?!
[20:52] Prince
    What's the matter?
[20:53] Jii
    A weird kid is approaching at tremendous speed!
[20:56] Kagura
    Give back Sadaharu!
[20:59] Prince
    Who is Sadaharu?!
[21:01] Jii
    St-Stay back!
[21:10] Kagura
    I forgot Sadaharu was on the car.
[21:18] Kagura (M)
    Sadaharu!
[21:39] Kagura
    I've gone and...done it...all over again.
[21:47] Gin
    'Scuse me, miss.
[21:55] Gin
    What are you so sad about?
[21:58] Kagura
    Gin! Sadaharu!
[22:04] Kagura
    Sadaharu!
[22:06] Kagura
    Sadaharu! I'm so glad! I'm so, so glad!
[22:14] Kagura
    Gin, you were so against keeping him.
[22:18] Gin
    Hell if I know.
[22:20] Gin
    If you're gonna keep it, you take care of it.
[22:22] ---
    And I'll be deducting the cost of his food from your salary!
[22:27] Kagura
    Thank you, Gin.
[22:31] ---
    Though I've never actually gotten paid.
[22:36] Prince
    Let's not come to Earth anymore.
[22:39] Jii
    I agree.
[22:49] Okita
    Remember to say bow-wow at the end of your sentences, Kondo.
SIGN    [Preview]
SIGN    Find a poster girl from a dango shop?
[24:28] Gin
    And you're telling me it's from fifty years ago?!
[24:31] Gin
    Listen, pops.
[24:31] Gin
    Even if we do find her, she'll be someone who used to be a poster girl.
[24:35] ---
    The next episode: "Look, Overly Sticky Sweet Dumplings Are Not Real Dumplings, You Idiot!"
SIGN    [Once you grow out of JUMP, go for Weekly Playboy. It has everything from large, medium, to small.]
SIGN    [Next week's Gintama is a senior fest. Loads of gramps and grannies.]
[24:50] Gintoki
    Ah... Don't go thinkin' there's always some bonus feature for you at the end!