E204 - Use a Calligraphy Pen for New Year's Cards/The heart comes before chocolate

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] Gin
    "I only received one New Year's card this year. From a beauty salon..."
[01:36] Gin
    "I didn't receive a single one."
[01:39] Gin
    If anyone out there says any of that crap in the classroom after winter break,
[01:43] Gin
    starting next year, execute 'em!
[01:46] Gin
    That joke is as old as New Year's cards and beauty salons.
[01:50] Gin
    It's too much effort to pretend to brag about that shit.
[01:54] Gin
    I'm sick of it!
[01:56] Gin
    The practice of appearance for appearance's sake!
[01:57] Gin
    Enough of this farce!
[01:59] Gin
    Starting next year, execute every single person who sends a New Year's card!
[02:02] Gin
    Is that your final answer?
[02:04] Shin
    Yeah, yeah.
[02:05] Shin
    Execute away next year.
[02:07] Shin
    All by yourself.
[02:09] Kagura
    Stop babbling like a kiddie.
[02:11] Kagura
    Pen to the paper, pillar of society.
SIGN    Use a Calligraphy Pen for New Year's cards
[02:18] Gin
    Only received a card from a beauty salon?! Lame-o!
[02:21] Gin
    Idiots!
[02:22] Gin
    Why do people get so excited?!
[02:24] Gin
    Happy, my ass!
[02:25] Gin
    There's nothing to be happy about!
[02:27] Gin
    This show follows the Sazae-san format.
    We're stuck in the same year forever!
[02:31] Gin
    It's a waste of time!
[02:32] Gin
    And why are we doing New Year's cards now?
[02:34] Shin
    We don't have a choice.
[02:36] Shin
    The manga kept on rolling with seasonal material while we were on break.
[02:39] Kagura
    A year's worth of joy, all at once.
[02:41] Shin
    Look.
[02:41] Shin
    We got a bunch of cards from our clients.
[02:44] Shin
    If we maintain a friendly relationship with our clients,
[02:46] Shin
    they might give us more work.
SIGN    One hour later...
[02:51] Gin
    There's no end in sight...
[02:53] Gin
    By the time I finish writing all these hope-you-have-a-great-years,
[02:55] Gin
    it'll already be next year.
[02:57] Gin
    And why do you guys look like you're enjoying this?
[02:59] Shin
    Huh?
[03:00] Shin
    This isn't that bad.
[03:02] Shin
    We get to catch up on what's happened.
[03:04] Gin
    You mean when they talk about starting a new life together
[03:06] Gin
    with a wedding picture attached?
SIGN    Happy New Year
SIGN    We are blessed to celebrate our first New Year's together.
SIGN    I hope that I will be able to serve as your editor for a very long time.
SIGN    New Year's Day 2010
SIGN    Atsushi and Chihiro Nakasaki
[03:09] Gin
    You shouldn't assume that other people will be happy about your happiness, fool.
[03:13] Shin
    Uh....
[03:14] Shin
    Wait, who is this?
[03:16] Gin
    And some people are like,
SIGN    Happy New Year
SIGN    I appreciate everything
SIGN    Kouhei Oonishi
[03:17] Gin
    "We have a new member in the family!" with a picture of a baby.
[03:21] Gin
    Don't make it sound like this just magically happened.
[03:23] Gin
    Just write that you had a baby after ****ing like rabbits.
[03:25] Shin
    Nobody's going to say that on a New Year's card!
[03:27] Shin
    And who is this?
[03:28] Shin
    Who are these people?!
[03:29] Gin
    Also...
[03:30] Gin
    Don't bother if you're feeling lazy.
[03:32] Gin
    You'll end up hurting someone's feelings.
SIGN    Weekly Shounen Jump wants to thank you.
SIGN    Yuu Saitou
SIGN    Manuscripts are more important than your health!! -Saitou
[03:34] Shin
    This wasn't sent to you, was it?
[03:36] Shin
    And those editors are seriously brutal!
[03:39] Shin
    But I like how New Year's cards are short and concise, unlike letters.
[03:45] Shin
    Oh, look.
[03:46] Shin
    There's one from Sakamoto-san.
[03:48] Gin
    From Tatsuma?
[03:49] Sakamoto
    Last year's Taiga drama was about me.
[03:52] Gin
    What kind of message is that?!
[03:54] Gin
    He wants to fully exploit his brief surge in popularity!
[03:56] Gin
    You're getting another year of spot appearances in the openings and endings!
[03:59] Shin
    There's also one from Mutsu-san.
[04:01] Mutsu
    Don't bother tearing this up.
[04:03] Kagura
    I also received cards from the Kaientai.
[04:06] Gin
    Why did they send cards to each of us?!
[04:08] Gin
    That's so obnoxious!
[04:10] Gin
    They're really dying for some screen time!
[04:11] Shin
    Wait...
[04:12] Shin
    There's a card from the Kiheitai!
[04:14] Gin
    Huh?!
[04:14] Gin
    From Takasugi?!
[04:15] Takasugi
    Happy New Year.
[04:18] Takasugi
    I'll be destroying everything again this year.
[04:20] Gin
    No way...
[04:21] Gin
    He sent a New Year's card?
[04:23] Gin
    Isn't this more like a declaration of war?
[04:24] Kagura
    It might be a death threat.
SIGN    Matako Kijima, Bansai Kawakami, Henpeita Takechi
[04:27] All
    The Kiheitai made an appearance in this year's Taiga drama.
[04:29] Gin
    You too?!
[04:31] Gin
    Does everybody want more screen time?!
[04:34] Shin
    Oh, there's one from Katsura-san.
[04:37] Gin
    What?
[04:38] Gin
    Zura gets plenty of screen time.
[04:40] Katsura
    I was on standby outside the entire time during the Santa episode.
[04:44] Gin
    Like I give a damn!
[04:46] Kagura
    He never had a chance to jump in since
    there were so many characters around.
[04:51] Shin
    He sent a whole bunch.
[04:52] Katsura
    Has Lady Kyubei taken over the role of token hardhead?
[04:53] Katsura
    I was on standby outside the entire time during the Santa episode.
[04:55] Katsura
    You no longer need me with Lady Kyubei around?
[04:56] Katsura
    I was on standby outside the entire time during the Santa episode.
[04:57] Gin
    We already said that your characters don't overlap!
[04:57] Katsura
    I was a character in this show before Lady Kyubei was.
[04:58] Gin
    You're just a psychotic moron!
[05:01] Gin
    Man, these people aren't taking this seriously.
[05:03] Gin
    They make the silly Nakasaki couple look brilliant.
[05:07] Shin
    Gin-san, someone else got married.
SIGN    Gintoki and Ayame Sakata
[05:11] Sa
    We got married!
[05:13] Sa
    Guess I'm first, Otae.
[05:15] Gin
    The hell is this?!
[05:17] Shin
    It's no use, Gin-san.
[05:17] Shin
    She sent a whole stack.
[05:19] Gin
    That bitch has really done it now!
[05:22] Gin
    Look at the shoddy picture!
[05:23] Gin
    That's somebody else's body below my face!
[05:25] Kagura
    Someone sent a card to congratulate you.
[05:28] Ketsuno
    Congratulations!
[05:30] Ketsuno
    Make sure you don't end up getting divorced.
[05:32] Gin
    Ana Ketsuno!
[05:33] Gin
    What has she done?!
[05:35] Kagura
    Looks like she sent them everywhere.
SIGN    Hinowa
[05:38] Hinowa
    Happy New Year.
[05:39] Hinowa
    And congratulations on your marriage.
[05:41] Hinowa
    This news will make Tsukuyo sad.
[05:41] Tsukuyo
    May you be happy together!
SIGN    Seita
[05:43] Seita
    Ever since Tsukuyo heard that Gin-san got married, she's been feeling down.
[05:46] Tsukuyo
    May you be happy together!
SIGN    Tsukyo
[05:48] Tsukuyo
    I appreciate your help last year.
[05:49] Tsukuyo
    Don't make your wife cry.
[05:51] Tsukuyo
    May you be happy together.
[05:53] Shin
    This is getting awkward...
[05:55] Shin
    It's obvious that Tsukuyo-san edited their cards.
[05:58] Kagura
    You also received one from the monkeys.
SIGN    Doesn't he look just like Shinpachi-kun?
[06:01] Kondo
    Congratulations!
[06:02] Kondo
    I hope that our kids get to go to school together.
[06:04] Shin
    How many steps did that stupid gorilla skip?!
[06:07] Shin
    Just like me?!
[06:08] Shin
    It is me!
[06:10] Gin
    Whoa.
[06:11] Gin
    He also sent his everywhere.
SIGN    Strawberry milk
[06:14] Otsu
    Thank you for all the supportapoop!
[06:16] Otsu
    I hope that you and the gorilla are happy together.
[06:17] Shin
    Otsu-chan!
[06:18] shin
    She's got this totally wrong!
[06:20] Gin
    Look.
[06:21] Gin
    There's one from the Yagyu household.
[06:22] Kyubei
    I'm going to murder the gorilla.
[06:23] Kyubei
    I'm going to murder the gorilla!
[06:25] Kyubei
    I'm going to murder Kondo!
[06:26] Shin
    Wait!
[06:26] Shin
    Kyubei-san's cards are the ones that need editing!
[06:29] Shin
    Her murderous rage is plain to see!
[06:30] Kagura
    Gin-chan, here's another one from Zura.
[06:33] Gin
    Why?!
[06:33] Gin
    Don't tell me that he's also lying about getting married...
[06:37] Katsura
    I was on standby outside the entire time during the ceremony.
[06:40] Gin
    The hell is he doing?!
[06:42] Gin
    Is he obsessed with being on standby?!
[06:43] Gin
    There was no ceremony!
[06:45] Gin
    And even if there was, it would have been too late!
[06:47] Gin
    Hey, let's deal with these pains in the ass later.
[06:50] Gin
    Start by replying to the normal people.
[06:53] Shin
    Do we know any normal people...?
[06:55] Shin
    No way!
[06:56] Shin
    This one's from Hijikata-san?
[06:57] Gin
    Whoa.
[06:58] Gin
    What's this about?
[07:00] Hijikata
    I haven't seen Kondo-san in a week.
[07:03] Hijikata
    Do you know anything?
[07:05] Shin
    W-We don't know anything, right?
[07:07] Gin
    We know nothing at all.
[07:08] Gin
    No clue at all.
[07:10] Shin
    L-Let's move on.
[07:12] Shin
    Ah!
[07:13] Shin
    This is from Zenzo-san.
[07:15] Zenzo
    I need to talk with Sarutobi about a job,
[07:17] Zenzo
    but I haven't been able to reach her for a week.
[07:19] Zenzo
    Have you seen her around?
[07:24] Shin
    The people who sent out fake wedding notices are disappearing one after another...
[07:29] Gin
    It's not related.
[07:31] Gin
    I mean, look at this.
SIGN    Hatsu Hasegawa
[07:32] Hatsu
    I can't reach my husband.
[07:34] Hatsu
    I found some of my husband's belongings by the river.
[07:37] Hatsu
    Do you know anything?
[07:39] Gin
    Yeah?
[07:39] Gin
    Hasegawa-san's missing and he wasn't involved in that crap.
[07:42] Gin
    It's okay.
[07:43] Shin
    It's not okay!
[07:44] Shin
    He's missing for a completely different reason!
[07:47] Shin
    I have a really bad feeling about this.
[07:49] Shin
    Hasegawa-san aside,
[07:51] Shin
    the other two must have gotten into some kind New-Year-card-related trouble.
[07:52] Gin
    It's not related.
[07:53] Kagura
    Oh, there's one from the boss lady.
[07:55] Otae
    I am unable to wish you a happy new year in this time of mourning.
[07:59] Otae
    In December, our pet gorilla and bitch passed away.
[08:03] Otae
    This year will be...
[08:04] Gin
    You had pets?
[08:06] Shin
    We did.
[08:07] Kagura
    I've never seen them before.
[08:09] Gin
    There was that "I'm first, Otae" message.
[08:12] Gin
    That must have pissed her off.
[08:14] Shin
    P-Please don't tell anyone.
[08:16] Gin
    Well, it's not exactly a secret.
[08:18] Okita
    I haven't seen Kondo-san in a week.
[08:21] Okita
    Do you know anything about someone's older sister killing him?
[08:25] Shin
    How many older sisters are there in this show?!
[08:27] Gin
    And look, there's one from Yamazaki.
[08:29] Shin
    What?!
[08:29] Shin
    Yamazaki-san?!
[08:30] Yamazaki
    Anpan! Anpan! Anpan!
[08:31] Shin
    What the hell happened to Yamazaki-san?!
[08:34] Kagura
    Gin-chan, there's a really weird New Year's card.
[08:37] Kagura
    From Gondo.
[08:39] Gin
    Where the hell is Gondo?
[08:41] Gin
    Do we know anyone there?
[08:43] Kagura
    It's from someone called Mamyudapao.
[08:45] Gin
    I'm 100% positive that we don't know this person!
[08:47] Gin
    I'm 100% positive that this is a complete stranger!
[08:49] Kagura
    Let me read it.
[08:51] Madao
    My name is Mamudapao Hasegawa.
[08:54] Gin
    It's just Hasegawa-san!
[08:55] Gin
    How far did the river carry him?!
[08:58] Madao
    When I came to this place,
[08:59] Madao
    I could only remember the words Hasegawa and oldsocks.
[09:04] Gin
    You've got it wrong!
[09:06] Gin
    It's orthodox!
[09:08] Madao
    Mamudapao was the name given to me by the Hingromaxon chief who found me.
[09:14] Madao
    It means floating log,
[09:16] Madao
    drifter,
[09:17] Madao
    freeter,
[09:18] Madao
    Nintendo,
[09:19] Madao
    and sinking old man.
[09:20] Gin
    There are too many meanings!
[09:22] Gin
    The last one contradicts the first one!
[09:25] Madao
    Mamudapao.
[09:26] Madao
    Everyone calls me Madao for short.
[09:28] Gin
    So they still call you Madao in the end!
[09:31] Madao
    The people of the Hingromaxon tribe are very kind.
[09:35] Madao
    They were willing to share their fruit with a complete stranger.
[09:39] Gin
    They clearly hate you!
[09:41] Madao
    I had no memories, but I was...
[09:45] Madao
    ...satisfied with my life here.
[09:46] Gin
    This man is the definition of a masochist!
[09:49] Madao
    I had a mission before I lost my memories.
[09:53] Madao
    But I can't remember what it was.
[09:55] Madao
    When I washed ashore, I was holding a piece of paper with some strange characters.
[10:00] Madao
    Will they help unlock my memories?
[10:03] Madao
    I showed the piece of paper to the chief,
[10:05] Madao
    and he said that he'd seen something similar before.
[10:07] Madao
    The Hingromaxon were engaged in a turf war with two other tribes.
[10:13] Madao
    He'd seen the other chiefs with similar pieces of paper.
[10:18] Chief
    They are also Madao, Mamudapao who
    came ashore from a different world like you.
[10:24] Chief
    They used their fearsome strength to rise to power
[10:28] Chief
    and began to invade our sacred forest.
[10:31] Chief
    They are monsters.
[10:33] Chief
    Our tribe stands no chance against them.
[10:36] Chief
    But Madao,
[10:37] Chief
    since you also came from a different world...
[10:41] Madao
    I may die.
[10:43] Madao
    But if I choose to live without fulfilling my duty,
[10:49] Madao
    I might as well be dead!
[10:52] Sa
    Move it!
[10:53] Sa
    Outta the way!
[10:54] Kondo
    Don't interfere with our crusade!
[10:57] Madao
    Stop this pointless war.
[10:59] Madao
    We are all children of this planet.
[11:01] Madao
    One big family.
[11:03] Sa
    Don't lump me in with you wretches!
[11:05] Kondo
    Our tribe is meant to rule the sacred forest!
[11:09] Madao
    No.
[11:10] Madao
    I'm sure that we share the same purpose.
[11:13] Kondo
    That's...
[11:15] Kondo
    I've always wondered who I was...
[11:17] Sa
    Wondered what I was meant to do...
[11:19] Kondo
    For a very long time...
[11:21] Sa
    Ever since I was wrapped up in a mat and washed away...
[11:25] All
    I always thought I was alone...
[11:28] Madao
    The next thing I knew, the three of us were holding each other in tears.
[11:33] Madao
    And without a word, we each took out our pieces of paper.
[11:37] Madao
    They were completely different and couldn't be pieced together,
[11:41] Madao
    but our fragmented memories were united.
[11:44] A
    Chief, what about the crusade?
[11:46] Kondo
    I don't have time for that nonsense.
[11:49] B
    What are you going to do then?
[11:51] Sa
    That should be obvious.
[11:54] Madao
    Let's write a New Year's card together.
[11:57] All
    Happy New Year!
[11:59] All
    We have new members in the family!
[12:06] Shin
    Gin-san, there's also this...
[12:10] Katsura
    I was on standby on a raft to Gondo,
SIGN    Kotaro Katsura
[12:13] Katsura
    but I ended up in Rhone.
[12:17] Kagura
    Gin-chan, how should we respond?
SIGN    The Gintama anime wasn't able to ride the Ryomaden wave.
[12:20] Gin
    Make copies of this to send to everyone.
[12:26] Gin
    "I only received one chocolate this year. From my mom..."
[12:30] Gin
    "I win. I got two. Including my sister..."
[12:35] Gin
    If anyone out there starts gloating the day after Valentine's,
[12:39] Gin
    starting next year, execute 'em.
[12:41] Gin
    That joke is as old as chocolate and moms.
[12:47] Gin
    Cut the crap.
[12:48] Gin
    Don't put on airs by joking around to show that you don't care!
[12:51] Gin
    I'm sick of it!
[12:52] Gin
    The practice of passing chocolate around like idiots!
[12:58] Gin
    Enough of this farce!
[12:59] Gin
    Starting next year,
[13:01] Gin
    execute every single person who gives or receives chocolate!
[13:03] Gin
    Is that your final answer?
[13:05] Shin
    That's my final answer!
[13:09] Gin
    Final answer, my ass!
[13:11] Gin
    Somebody bring me some chocolate!
[13:13] Gin
    This makes no sense at all!
[13:14] Gin
    Everything was the same as the first half!
[13:17] Gin
    There was a stack of New Year's cards after the scene change!
[13:19] Gin
    So why isn't there any chocolate here?!
[13:21] Gin
    I want chocolate!
[13:22] Gin
    No need for love!
[13:24] Gin
    Just give me sugar!
[13:27] Shin
    I want love and that's my final answer!
[13:30] Shin
    Wait, can I ask the audience?
[13:32] Gin
    You can spend the rest of your life on the phone with Regis.
[13:38] Otae
    Sorry about making you come with me.
[13:41] Kagura
    I've heard that Valentine's is when girls give chocolate to the people they like.
[13:44] Kagura
    Does that mean you like a whole bunch of people?
[13:47] Otae
    These are just for passing out to our customers.
[13:50] Otae
    As for the people I like...
[13:51] Otae
    Here.
[13:53] Kagura
    Boss lady!
[13:54] Kagura
    I love you lots!
[13:57] Kagura
    But I don't have any chocolate for you.
[13:59] Otae
    It's okay.
[14:00] Otae
    You should find a nice man to give your chocolate to.
[14:03] Kagura
    But there's nobody.
[14:05] Otae
    You could give chocolate to Gin-san and Shin-chan this time.
[14:08] Kagura
    What? Forget it.
[14:09] Kagura
    I don't really like those morons.
[14:12] Kagura
    They'll probably gripe about not wanting any chocolate from a little brat.
[14:15] Otae
    That's not true.
[14:17] Otae
    I'm sure they'll be surprised, even thrilled, if you give them chocolate.
[14:22] Kagura
    They don't need me when people like Sa-chan will give them some.
[14:26] Kagura
    Thanks for the chocolate.
[14:27] Otae
    Ah, Kagura-chan.
[14:45] Gin
    Hey, why are you so fidgety, Kagura?
[14:49] Kagura
    I-I'm not!
[14:51] Gin
    Don't tell me that...
[14:56] Gin
    ...you need to poop?
[14:58] Gin
    Move it then.
[14:59] Gin
    Constipation is bad for beauty.
SIGN    Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[15:07] Seita
    Ka-Kagura-chan!
[15:09] Seita
    Is this what I think it is?!
[15:11] Kagura
    Chocolate.
[15:11] Seita
    R-Really?!
[15:13] Seita
    Mom!
[15:14] Seita
    She gave me chocolate!
[15:17] Hinowa
    Thank you for being so thoughtful.
[15:19] Kagura
    It's nothing.
[15:21] Seita
    This doesn't have boogers or anything inside, right?
[15:23] Seita
    It's safe to eat?
[15:24] Kagura
    It's obviously safe. Want me to kill you?
[15:26] Hinowa
    You're much more chic than I thought.
[15:30] Hinowa
    You have the potential to become a courtesan.
[15:32] Kagura
    Really?
[15:33] Kagura
    Then I should quit working at that dump and move here.
[15:37] Seita
    Hey, can I eat this?
[15:39] Seita
    I see sesame seeds for some reason.
[15:41] Tsukuyo
    Don't touch those.
[15:43] Tsukuyo
    Boogers can make you sick.
[15:46] Kagura
    Enough already!
[15:47] Kagura
    Do you people think I'm some kind of monster?!
[15:50] Tsukuyo
    Hinowa, I'm heading out for a bit.
[15:52] Kagura
    Hey, wait!
[15:54] Kagura
    Give that back!
[15:55] Tsukuyo
    Excuse me.
[15:57] Tsukuyo
    I'd like to buy that big chocolate heart.
[15:59] Man
    Sure thing.
[16:00] Kagura
    Hey, what are you doing, Tsu-ki?
[16:03] Tsukuyo
    Hinowa actually told me to give you guys chocolate from Yoshiwara.
[16:09] Tsukuyo
    Can you take care of that for me?
[16:11] Tsukuyo
    It'll be easier for you to hand yours over with mine.
[16:15] Kagura
    Tsu-ki!
[16:16] Kagura
    You're so sharp!
[16:18] Kagura
    Completely different from that clueless numbskull with wavy hair!
[16:20] Kagura
    But, I'd really appreciate it if you would come with me.
[16:24] Tsukuyo
    I-I can't help you there.
[16:25] Kagura
    Why? You also think it's embarrassing?
[16:27] Tsukuyo
    Wh-Why would I be embarrassed?!
[16:30] Tsukuyo
    I don't give a damn about Valentine's.
[16:33] Tsukuyo
    I only bought this chocolate because I was ordered to, not because I wanted to...
[16:36] Kagura
    You look embarrassed.
[16:37] Man
    Sorry to keep you waiting.
[16:38] Kagura
    Well, I understand.
[16:40] Kagura
    I'll let them know how you feel.
SIGN    From Tsu-ki with love
SIGN    To Odd Jobs
[16:42] Tsukuyo
    What do you think you're doing?!
[16:45] Man
    Well, she kept calling you Tsu-ki,
[16:48] Man
    so I decided to add a little something special.
[16:48] Tsukuyo
    You're not helping!
[16:50] Tsukuyo
    Say that it's from everyone in Yoshiwara!
[16:52] Man
    I apologize.
[16:52] Man
    I'll get that fixed real quick,
[16:53] Man
    so please wait, Tsu-ki.
[16:55] Tsukuyo
    Why are you calling me Tsu-ki?!
[16:57] Tsukuyo
    Hey, I'm starting to get worried,
[17:00] Tsukuyo
    so mind if I tag along?
[17:02] Kagura
    Yay!
[17:03] Woman
    Um, would you like to try some while you're waiting?
[17:07] Tsukuyo
    Man, everybody loves to make assumptions.
[17:11] Kagura
    That looks good.
[17:13] Kagura
    Can I try one?
[17:14] Woman
    Sorry.
[17:16] Woman
    These are whiskey bonbons,
[17:17] Woman
    and you're still too young.
[17:23] Gin
    We're not interested in a newspaper subscription.
[17:25] Tsukuyo
    Excuse me, is Gintoki-kun here?
[17:28] Tsukuyo
    Gosh, I went and opened my mouth!
[17:30] Tsukuyo
    Oh, dear.
[17:31] Tsukuyo
    My heart is pounding...
[17:33] Tsukuyo
    This is too much for me.
[17:34] Tsukuyo
    It's too embarrassing...
[17:37] Tsukuyo
    In your dreams, sucker!
[17:43] Sa
    You want us to hand over our chocolate together?
[17:46] Kagura
    Yeah, I've tried a couple times and failed.
[17:49] Sa
    Don't be a fool?
[17:50] Sa
    Why would we confess our feelings as a group?
[17:52] Sa
    Are we still in middle school?
[17:53] Kagura
    We're just going to give them chocolate.
[17:55] Kagura
    But I'm having trouble because it's so embarrassing.
[17:58] Kagura
    I need help from an insensitive woman like you.
[18:01] Sa
    I've never been so insulted while being asked for a favor.
[18:04] Sa
    Besides!
[18:06] Sa
    Tsu-ki, how could you let this happen?
[18:08] Sa
    Is that the power of 10th place?
[18:09] Sa
    Is that what it takes to place 10th?
[18:11] Tsukuyo
    You're still upset about that?
[18:13] Sa
    I would never choose to help a rival,
[18:15] Sa
    but you girls are so pathetic that there's no threat at all.
[18:20] Sa
    First, strip naked and coat yourself in this chocolate.
[18:24] Sa
    That's where it all begins.
[18:26] Tsukuyo
    That's where it all begins?
[18:27] Tsukuyo
    More like that's where it all ends.
[18:29] Sa
    Lose the innocent girl act!
[18:30] Sa
    Don't you realize that I'm telling you to stop feeling ashamed?!
[18:33] Tsukuyo
    I'm willing to stop feeling ashamed,
[18:33] Tsukuyo
    but I won't stop behaving like a proper human being.
[18:36] Sa
    What?!
[18:37] Sa
    Don't you know that Cleopatra got naked
[18:39] Sa
    and lotioned herself up inside a rolled-up rug for the sake of seducing the king?!
[18:43] Tsukuyo
    We aren't trying to seduce anyone!
[18:45] Tsukuyo
    We just want to give them chocolate!
[18:49] Sa
    Fine.
[18:50] Sa
    We'll do this the normal way.
[18:52] Sa
    Honestly, you're so dull.
[18:55] Sa
    Then I'll press the doorbell...
[18:59] Sa
    Um...
[19:00] Sa
    Why are you lined up behind me?
[19:03] Sa
    How shy are you?!
[19:04] Sa
    Can you stop that?!
[19:06] Sa
    You're making me nervous!
[19:08] Sa
    I'm going to press the doorbell now.
[19:09] Sa
    Are you ready?
[19:15] Kagura
    Sa-chan!
[19:17] Tsukuyo
    Hey! What was that?!
[19:18] Sa
    Actually...
[19:20] Sa
    Now that I think about it...
[19:21] Sa
    I've never tried doing it the normal way,
[19:24] Sa
    so I don't know what to say.
[19:26] Tsukuyo
    Didn't you just lecture me about Cleopatra?!
[19:29] Sa
    Sorry! I can't do it!
[19:30] Sa
    You go, Tsu-ki!
[19:31] Sa
    I feel so embarrassed!
[19:32] Tsukuyo
    It's too late for that now!
[19:33] Tsukuyo
    Kagura, you go.
[19:35] Tsukuyo
    Isn't this your home?
[19:35] Kagura
    Hey!
[19:36] Kagura
    Why do you think I brought you with me?!
[19:39] Shin
    Where did Kagura-chan go?
[19:43] Gin
    She ran off somewhere to take a dump.
[19:47] Gin
    Huh?
[19:48] Gin
    Wasn't there someone here?
[19:49] Shin
    No, nobody's here.
[19:54] Shin
    Was this can here earlier?
[19:56] Shin
    Whatever.
[20:07] Tsukuyo
    Um, I'd appreciate it if you left this in front of Odd Jobs when you get a chance.
[20:13] Tsukuyo
    Sorry that I wasn't any help.
[20:16] Sa
    I appreciate it!
SIGN    To Gin-chan and Shinpachi --Kagura
[20:33] Otae
    I'm sorry.
[20:35] Otae
    I suppose I shouldn't have said anything.
[20:38] Kagura
    Nah.
[20:40] Kagura
    It was fun to do girly stuff with them.
[20:44] Kagura
    Though it's not very me.
[20:47] Kagura
    It's better this way.
[20:48] Otae
    Kagura-chan...
[20:50] Otae
    You could have asked me to come along.
[20:53] Otae
    I have some extra chocolate for them.
[20:55] Otae
    But if you aren't going to give them yours, I won't either.
[20:58] Kagura
    It's okay.
[20:59] Kagura
    I'll give them yours with the other ones.
[21:02] Otae
    But what about you?
[21:04] Kagura
    It's okay.
[21:08] Kagura
    I don't need to use chocolate
[21:10] Kagura
    to show off my planet-sized love!
[21:17] Kagura
    Right?
[21:20] Otae
    That's right.
[21:23] A
    Counting the ones that don't count, I got three...
[21:28] Gin
    We didn't get a single one this year.
[21:31] Shin
    That's my final answer.
[21:35] Kagura
    There were three outside the door.
[21:38] Kagura
    Isn't that nice?
[21:40] Shin
    Huh?! What?!
[21:41] Shin
    No way!
[21:41] Shin
    From who?!
[21:42] Shin
    For who?!
SIGN    Sugar Content
[21:43] Gin
    Get your grubby paws off them!
[21:44] Gin
    They're obviously for me!
SIGN    For Gin-san and Four-Eyes
SIGN    From Kagura
SIGN    From Kagura with love
SIGN    To Gintoki and Shinpachi
SIGN    I love Gin-chan and Shinpachi
    Kagura
[21:52] Gin
    Shinpachi...
[21:54] Gin
    We got four this year.
[21:57] Shin
    That's my final answer.
SIGN    The Heart Comes Before Chocolate
SIGN    Next Episode
SIGN    Meals Should Be Balanced
[23:30] Yamazaki
    Sorry about the confusion.
[23:31] Yamazaki
    After next week, you'll finally understand all the fuss about anpan.