E263 - Two Brothers

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Two Brothers
[01:37] Ana
    You have 24 hours until
    the beam cannon fires.
[01:42] Ana
    If your decision comes too late,
[01:44] Ana
    tomorrow will be remembered
    in the history of space as
[01:48] Ana
    the day the star wars began,
    a day that will live in infamy.
[01:53] Ana
    And the first act of war will be to
    reduce Earth, the catalyst, to space dust.
[02:01] Ana
    It would be unwise to attempt to search
    this large planet for our present.
[02:08] Ana
    There is an emergency defense
    system built into it.
[02:12] Ana
    If you try anything funny,
    this planet will be destroyed
[02:15] ---
    before the beam cannon ever fires.
[02:18] Gin
    Did that guy come back
    to destroy his home?
[02:24] Gen
    As a planet, Beam and its population are
    basically one big weapons manufacturer.
[02:30] Gen
    But as a nation, they're too smart
    to butt into interstellar politics.
[02:34] Gen
    However, there's a group called the
    Firestarters who pulls strings to start wars.
[02:41] Gen
    The Galaxy Sword Master
    has made his name through
[02:44] ---
    his exploits in those wars.
[02:46] Gen
    But if he is, in truth, a fictitious hero
[02:49] ---
    whose purpose is to start those wars...
[02:53] Shin
    Hajime-nii!
[02:54] Shin
    Whew, you're awake!
[02:57] Shin
    Are you okay?
[03:02] Shin
    Hajime-nii...
[03:06] Obi
    Oh, Shin-bo.
[03:08] Obi
    As you can see, I'm doing fine!
[03:10] Obi
    Man, it's such a lovely morning!
[03:13] Obi
    Edo mornings are so beautiful.
[03:18] Obi
    How about it?
[03:19] ---
    Let's go for a jog like we used to.
[03:24] Shin
    Sure.
[03:26] Obi
    He probably doesn't realize
    that he's being used.
[03:32] Gin
    How do we stop the mechanical
    half of his body?
[03:38] Gin
    Spit it out.
[03:39] ---
    It's not something Shinpachi
    or Otae can handle.
[03:44] Hiji
    Okay, we will now chase down the
    interstellar wave beam cannon.
[03:49] Hiji
    Grab every person who looks suspicious.
[03:52] Oki
    Hijikata-san, what would
    be a suspicious person?
[03:57] Hiji
    Someone who looks like he
    might shoot out beams.
[03:58] Oki
    Hey, this guy's shooting
    idiot beams from his head.
[04:02] Oki
    Throw him in the slammer.
[04:03] Hiji
    Let me go!
[04:05] Hiji
    Want me to murder you guys?!
[04:06] Hiji
    Hey, Kondo-san! Say something!
[04:08] Hiji
    Hey, stop this!
[04:09] Kondo
    Someone who looks like he
    might shoot out beams...
[04:12] A
    This is the worst threat
    the nation has faced since
[04:15] ---
    the founding of the Tokugawa Bakufu!
[04:17] A
    The Yagyu must step up to
    score points with the Shogun!
[04:21] A
    Scratch that.
[04:22] A
    Step up to protect Edo!
[04:24] A
    More paper money!
[04:25] A
    Complete our celebrity blockade!
[04:28] A
    Hey, who included Takagi
    Boo with the celebrities?!
[04:32] B
    Didn't you say to use
    a Drifters blockade?
[04:34] A
    No, I said to use a celebrity
    blockade, Father!
[04:37] B
    Oh, then I should look
    for women who are easy.
[04:40] A
    No, that would be a **** blockade!
[04:41] Kyu
    Could it be...?
[04:45] Kag
    Hey, is this good enough?
[04:47] Kag
    I don't know since I've
    never done this before.
[04:50] Obi
    Temperature's perfect!
[04:51] Obi
    Thank you very hamnida!
[04:53] Obi
    Care to join me?!
[04:54] Kag
    Want me to kill you,
    Pervy Sword Master?!
[05:00] Obi
    A bath really hits the
    spot after some sparring.
[05:02] Obi
    Right, Shin-bo?
[05:05] Shin
    Are you trying to kill me?!
[05:09] Obi
    You need to scorch your delicate
    spots to make them squeaky clean!
[05:12] Shin
    What kind of gunk did you
    pick up out in space?!
[05:18] Gin
    Still, where is he hiding
    the beam cannon?
[05:23] Gin
    All I can see is a little pistol.
[05:29] Gen
    Listen to me, Gin-guy.
[05:31] Gen
    If you stab him with this blade I've
    rigged with a disruption device,
[05:35] ---
    it will delay the activation of
    the emergency defense system.
[05:39] Gen
    That will be your chance to destroy
[05:41] ---
    the mechanical half of his
    body and fully disable him.
[05:44] Gin
    What will happen to the
    human side of his body?
[05:47] Gen
    I already gave you an explanation.
[05:49] Gen
    That machine is keeping
    him alive right now.
[05:52] Gen
    If the machine is disabled, the human half
    of his body will go back to being dead.
[06:02] Otae
    What are you doing here?
[06:10] Otae
    Why are you carrying
    that weapon, Gin-san?
[06:16] Gin
    You know the answer.
[06:18] ---
    I'm here to cut down your first love.
[06:22] Otae
    You're not trying to hide it.
[06:26] Gin
    Half-assed lies don't work on women.
[06:30] Gin
    Your eyes are puffy.
[06:32] Gin
    That's what you get for eavesdropping.
[06:38] Obi
    You used to be so weak.
[06:40] Obi
    I could barely feel you
    scrubbing my back.
[06:43] Obi
    You've really grown up.
[06:45] Obi
    Though you haven't changed down there.
[06:48] Shin
    You're one to talk!
[06:51] Shin
    You're still out of my reach.
[06:54] Shin
    I'll never be able to catch up to you.
[06:57] Obi
    Shin-bo, you're already
    stronger than me.
[07:02] Obi
    All I got for leaving Earth
[07:06] ---
    was this beat-up body and the
    hollow title of Sword Master.
[07:15] Obi
    After returning to Edo and seeing
    you guys, I realized something.
[07:20] Obi
    If you can't find something
    close to protect,
[07:24] Obi
    you can wander the entire universe
[07:29] Obi
    and never achieve true strength.
[07:32] Obi
    I should have returned sooner to
    the country of the samurai.
[07:44] Shin
    Why does it sound like you've given up?
[07:49] Shin
    We can work together
    to find the answer.
[07:52] Shin
    We can work together to become strong.
[07:56] Shin
    So don't say that.
[08:00] Shin
    Our Hajime-nii would
    never look so defeated!
[08:11] Obi
    Shin-bo, so you know?
[08:16] Otae
    We understand.
[08:20] Otae
    So please, we won't ask
    you to wait until tomorrow,
[08:24] Otae
    but could you give us
    a little more time?
[08:27] Otae
    Please lower your sword,
[08:30] ---
    Gin-san.
[08:34] Shin
    I always wanted to introduce
    you and Gin-san to each other.
[08:40] Shin
    I always hoped that one day,
[08:42] ---
    the two of you would sit
    here next to each other
[08:46] ---
    while I washed your backs.
[08:49] Shin
    But now...
[08:51] Shin
    Why is it you?
[08:54] Shin
    Why did this have to happen?!
[09:00] Otae
    I beg you, Gin-san.
[09:03] Otae
    Just give us a little more time.
[09:06] Otae
    Let him
[09:09] Otae
    be Shin-chan's big brother
    a little longer.
[09:13] Obi
    I won't be able to restrain the
    other half of my body much longer.
[09:18] Obi
    I was prepared to end my own life,
[09:20] Obi
    but I came back to Edo
[09:24] Obi
    because I wanted to see you
    and Otae-chan one last time.
[09:30] Obi
    Soz about getting you
    into all this trouble.
[09:36] Obi
    But I'm glad I got to see this
    city of samurai one last time—
[09:47] Gin
    You're in my way.
[09:49] Gin
    Move it.
[09:51] Gin
    Why do you all have those
    looks on your faces?
[09:54] Gin
    Did you forget what the
    School of Beam Saber
[09:57] ---
    teaches about reacting
    in these situations?
[10:00] Gin
    Well, Instructor Obi-one?
[10:12] Shin
    Hajime-nii!
[10:15] Shin
    Stop it!
[10:16] Shin
    Gin-san!
[10:17] Shin
    Hajime-nii is still...
[10:18] Shin
    Still...
[10:19] Gin
    I told you, you're in my way!
[10:23] Kag
    Shinpachi!
[10:23] Otae
    Shin-chan!
[10:26] Gin
    Damn, he got away.
[10:30] Shin
    Please wait!
[10:32] Shin
    Why...
[10:33] Shin
    Why are you doing this?!
[10:35] Shin
    Why would you be so cruel?!
[10:38] Shin
    Hajime-nii knows everything!
[10:40] Shin
    He understands what's happening!
[10:42] Shin
    He's prepared to end his own life!
[10:46] Gin
    He can't do that.
[10:50] Gin
    It's not his body anymore.
[10:53] Gin
    You were washing a dead body
    with some junk attached.
[11:01] ---
    I dare you...
[11:03] Shin
    I dare you to repeat that.
[11:04] Otae
    Stop it, Shin-chan!
[11:07] Otae
    Please stop this, both of you!
[11:11] Gin
    Sorry, but I'm not interested
    in sitting around with
[11:15] ---
    a bunch of emotional saps,
    waiting for my death.
[11:19] Gin
    If you can't handle the job, I'll do it.
[11:23] Gin
    It's that simple.
[11:26] Shin
    Wait...
[11:29] Shin
    Wait.
[11:34] Shin
    I said to wait!
[11:36] Shin
    Are you deaf?!
[11:43] Otae
    Shin-chan!
[11:46] Shin
    How can two big brothers
    be so different?
[11:52] Gin
    Look at me.
[11:54] Gin
    Is this the face of a big brother?
[11:58] Shin
    True, your nose hairs are sticking out.
[12:02] Gin
    Oh, you're right.
[12:03] Otae
    Shin-chan!
[12:05] Otae
    Hang in there, Shin-chan!
[12:07] Otae
    Shin-chan!
[12:11] All
    Excuse us.
[12:15] Obi
    The emergency defense
    system hasn't activated.
[12:17] Obi
    That man must have done something.
[12:22] Obi
    Was he able to sense my
    intention to kill that boy?
[12:28] Yama
    Hey!
[12:30] Yama
    What are you doing up there?!
[12:35] Yama
    What the hell?!
[12:36] Yama
    He can shoot beams from his eyes!
[12:38] Yama
    After him!
[12:39] Yama
    Don't let him escape!
[12:44] A
    We can't find him.
[12:45] B
    Same here.
[12:47] Hiji
    You better find him before
    I finish smoking this.
[12:50] Hiji
    Shah that guy up before these curtain
    rings can "shah" the curtain shut.
[12:56] Both
    Or else it's seppuku time.
[12:58] Kag
    You middle management people are useless!
[13:01] Kag
    Get out of the way!
[13:02] Tojo
    I'll let you go if you
    tell us where he is.
[13:05] Kag
    That's what we want to know!
[13:08] Shin
    Can you cut it out?
[13:10] Otae
    Shin-chan...
[13:11] Shin
    Everyone's up in arms.
[13:13] Shin
    Are you so intent on
    destroying Hajime-nii?
[13:17] Shin
    In any case, this gives
    Kondo-san and Kyubei-san
[13:21] ---
    an excuse to rid themselves of their rival.
[13:26] Shin
    That's despicable.
[13:28] Shin
    You're all despicable!
[13:34] Hiji
    Not as despicable as your leader.
[13:39] Obi
    Come in, this is Kenofi.
[13:42] Obi
    There's been a problem.
[13:44] Obi
    I request assistance.
[13:45] Obi
    My current coordinates are...
[13:51] Tojo
    We weren't spurred into action
    by my lady or Kondo-dono.
[14:00] Tojo
    It was your leader.
[14:05] Obi
    This was a mistake on my part.
[14:06] Obi
    I didn't expect him to have
[14:09] ---
    such a dangerous man as
    his new brother figure.
[14:11] Gin
    Why are you all so obsessed
    with the brother thing?
[14:17] Gin
    Neither Shinpachi nor I am
    interested in being brothers!
[14:24] Shin
    Gin-san did?
[14:26] Oki
    Hijikata-san...
[14:29] Oki
    Looks like the news has gotten out.
[14:33] Hiji
    Sorry, but we can't let you pass.
[14:35] Hiji
    The Shinsengumi are on the job.
[14:37] Tojo
    Do not worry.
[14:38] ---
    We will search every nook
    and cranny of the building.
[14:41] Tojo
    You should go take a bath and
[14:42] ---
    wash every nook and cranny of your body.
[14:44] A
    Wh-Who are you people?
[14:45] Oki
    We aren't here to capture Obi-one.
[14:48] Oki
    We're holding off the
    cops who are on his tail
[14:51] Oki
    and making sure that you all are safe.
[14:54] Shin
    Wh-Why would you do that?
[14:56] Oki
    Because your leader got down
    on his knees and begged us to.
[15:06] Obi
    If you kill me, you will
    lose their trust forever.
[15:09] Obi
    Given that, why did you come here?
[15:12] Gin
    I'm not interested in
     battling to the death
[15:14] ---
    with a bunch of crying fools
     standing nearby!
[15:16] Gin
    This is much better!
[15:19] Obi
    Battling to the death?
[15:21] Obi
    Don't make me laugh.
[15:27] Obi
    You're unconsciously trying to
    avoid attacking my left side.
[15:32] Gin
    So this is the power of
    the Galaxy Sword Master?
[15:36] Gin
    Not very impressive.
[15:38] Gin
    That title's too flashy for you.
[15:42] Gin
    You should stick to
    being a big brother.
[15:45] Oki
    "I'll figure out a way to
    bring Obi-one back alive,
[15:48] Oki
    so could you stay put and
    not do anything until then?"
[15:54] Oki
    He planted his empty head
    right against the floor.
[16:00] Oki
    Want to see a picture?
[16:04] Shin
    Why did he do that?
[16:08] Shin
    Why did he ask you for help
[16:11] Shin
    when he didn't say a word to us?!
[16:13] Shin
    That idiot!
[16:15] Otae
    He wanted to keep us away
    from Obi-one-niisama.
[16:21] Gin
    Don't worry, Obi-one.
[16:24] Gin
    Nobody else will be joining us.
[16:28] Gin
    I won't let you get any
    more blood on your hands!
[16:32] Gin
    So
[16:34] ---
    come back, Obi-one!
[16:38] Gin
    Come back and be their big
    brother one more time!
[16:45] Otae
    He was the only one who hadn't given up
[16:49] Otae
    on saving Obi-one-niisama.
[16:54] Obi
    Do you seriously believe
    that he's still capable
[17:00] Obi
    of returning?!
[17:09] Obi
    Come in. This is Kenofi.
[17:12] Obi
    I need to be picked up immediately.
[17:14] Ana
    Kenofi?
[17:16] Ana
    Are you really Kenofi?
[17:18] Ana
    We've already locked on to your
    signal and begun the retrieval.
[17:24] Ana
    Kenofi, where are you right now?
[17:33] Ana
    I-Impossible!
[17:34] Ana
    What is the meaning of this?!
[17:46] Oki
    Man, it's not easy when we all
    work for a bunch of losers.
[17:51] Shin
    No way...
[17:53] Ana
    Wh-Who are you?!
[17:55] Ana
    Identify yourselves!
[17:56] Both
    From the School of Tendo
    Mushin Beam Saber!
[18:00] Kyu
    Yagyu Kyubei.
[18:02] Kondo
    And Kondo Isami.
[18:05] Kyu
    We've come here to
    reclaim the human half...
[18:10] Kondo
    ...of our instructor, Obi Hajime.
[18:14] Obi
    You were able to disrupt my
    transmitter with that strike?
[18:20] Obi
    You just came here to buy time
[18:22] Obi
    while your allies work to
    disable the beam cannon?
[18:27] Gin
    Like I said, nobody else
    will be joining us.
[18:34] Gin
    Will you leave that body first,
[18:38] Gin
    or will you get rid of me first?
[18:40] Gin
    It's a waiting game now.
[18:43] Obi
    Foolishness!
[18:47] Ana
    Damn those Earth apes!
[18:49] Ana
    They tricked us!
[18:51] Kon
    We clearly got the short
    end of the stick.
[18:54] Kon
    Stuck helping our rival in love.
[18:57] Kon
    A victory here won't win us anything.
[19:02] Kyu
    We've still got it better
    than that idiot
[19:05] Kyu
    since he had to beg for help.
[19:07] ---
    Plus he'll be losing his
    position as a brother figure.
[19:11] Kyu
    Besides, now I know
[19:15] Kyu
    the reason why Otae-chan was able to
[19:18] ---
    smile when times were tough or painful.
[19:21] Kyu
    Even if her smile isn't
    directed our way,
[19:24] Kyu
    I just want her to truly smile again.
[19:29] Kon
    I see. That means...
[19:33] Kon
    I should laugh with them.
[19:37] Obi
    So people who are truly strong
    laugh when they want to cry.
[19:43] Obi
    They endure all of the pain and sorrow
[19:46] Obi
    while laughing with everybody else.
[19:52] Obi
    But one day, you must become
    samurai strong enough not to cry.
[20:01] Yama
    Captain Okita, are you sure about this?
SIGN    Image has been deleted.
[20:04] Oki
    Sorry, big guy. I couldn't stop them.
[20:09] Oki
    We little brothers have our own pride.
[20:13] Tojo
    Well, let's get going.
[20:20] Hiji
    To our big brother's side.
[20:35] Ana
    It seems that you people are intent
    on keeping that man alive.
[20:40] Ana
    But you've been wasting your time.
[20:44] Kon
    What's that?
[20:45] Ana
    Nobody can stop him at this point.
[20:48] ---
    Not us, not him...
[20:51] Ana
    The emergency system
    will recover shortly.
[20:56] Ana
    When that happens, you
    Earthlings will be finished.
[21:00] Kyu
    Kondo...
[21:02] Kon
    Bullshit.
[21:03] Kon
    That's bullshit.
[21:05] Kon
    Then why...
[21:07] Kon
    Then why did he have
    to play the bad guy?!
[21:10] Kon
    Why did he have to get
    on his knees and beg?!
[21:16] Kon
    Can you give those two big brothers
    back to Shinpachi-kun?
[21:24] Obi
    It'll be thirty minutes
    before my system recovers.
[21:30] Obi
    There's only one way to stop the
    beam cannon before that happens.
[21:34] Obi
    You have to destroy me, Obi-one.
[21:40] Obi
    I'll be sending your little
    brother and this planet
[21:44] Obi
    to see you shortly.
[21:47] Obi
    You can wait in hell for them.
[21:58] Shin
    Did you call me his little brother?
[22:01] Shin
    You people throw the word
    brother around too much!
[22:06] Gin
    Neither Gin-san nor I am interested
    in being brothers, you fool!
SIGN    To Be Continued
[23:45] Gin
    We have a big announcement
    about the second movie.
[23:48] Gin
    Next week, the censored
    areas will be revealed.
SIGN    Gintama the Movie ---- In theaters on ---- ----th!
[23:52] Gin
    Hey, squinting won't help you.
[23:54] Gin
    If squinting helped, you'd have a lot of
    boys spending 1/3 of their time squinting.
SIGN    Liquor and Gasoline Smiles and Tears
[24:00] Otae
    Next time:
[24:01] Otae
    Liquor and Gasoline, Smiles and Tears.
SIGN    There's a huge atmosphere swing
SIGN    between the movie preview and the next episode preview.
SIGN    That's just business as usual
SIGN    in the Gintama anime.