E33 - Mistaking Someone’s Name is Rude!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    [Teach me!! Ginpachi Sensei!]
[00:00] All
    Teach me!!
[00:01] ---
    Ginpachi Sensei!
SIGN    [Question Corner]
SIGN    [Ginpachi Sakata]
[00:05] Ginpachi
    Let's see... This question comes from Anonymous-san of Chiba prefecture.
[00:08] ---
    In "Gin Tama," Hasegawa and Kondo are called "ossan."
[00:12] ---
    But Gin-san and Hijikata, who are nearly the same age, aren't middle-aged.
SIGN    [Ossan = a middle-aged man in Kansai dialect, but recently has become slang to mean the same thing]
[00:16] ---
    So, just when do guys start being called an "ossan"?
[00:19] ---
    Yes, let me answer that.
[00:21] ---
    It's when the pillow you're using starts to smell like your father.
[00:25] Kondo
    Hey, who's been using my pillow without my permission?! It smells like an "ossan."
[00:31] Hijikata
    That's what you smell like, idiot.
[00:33] Ginpachi
    Everyone, please be careful of how your pillow smells.
[00:37] Ginpachi
    And now on a totally unrelated note... Onishi! Keep standing!
SIGN    
SIGN    [A gift from Tatsuma Sakamoto to apologize for destroying Odd Jobs]
SIGN    [Unkei & Kaikei, Delivery Carpenters from space]
[02:19] Narrator
    With Gin-san losing his memory in an accident and
[02:22] Narrator
    Sakamoto's spaceship destroying the Odd Jobs,
[02:25] Narrator
    we were, in name and reality, all broken up.
[02:30] Gintoki
    Go!
[02:32] ---
    You brought my wooden sword, right?
[02:33] Shinpachi
    Huh? Oh... Yes.
[02:35] Gintoki
    Hey, Boss.
[02:36] ---
    Sorry, but I'm handing in my resignation.
[02:39] Kagura Shinpachi
    G-Gin-chan!!
[02:45] Narrator
    And that was how Gin-san's memory was restored.
[02:47] ---
    Although the other thing is still broken.
SIGN    [Odd Jobs Gin]
[03:08] Shinpachi
    Hey, Gin-san.
[03:10] Shinpachi
    We're trying to fix Odd Jobs, right?
[03:15] Shinpachi
    All I hear are the sounds of fingers and the house being destroyed.
[03:19] Gintoki
    Creation and destruction are two sides of the same coin, Shinpachi-kun.
[03:23] Shinpachi
    Yeah, but when are we gonna flip the coin?
[03:27] ---
    I knew it. This is hopeless. You should never let amateurs do carpentry.
[03:31] Gintoki
    You idiot! Professionals rip you off and do lousy work anyway.
[03:37] Shinpachi
    At least they get something done, you idiot.
[03:40] Gintoki
    Can't help it. We don't have the money to hire a carpenter.
[03:44] ---
    Or what? You want the old hag to kick us out?
[03:47] Gintoki
    Besides, if you call yourself an "Odd Jobs" man,
[03:50] Gintoki
    you should be able to fix something like this easily. Idiot...
[03:53] Kagura
    Gin-chan, desperate times call for desperate measures!
[03:56] Shinpachi
    No...wait...Kagura-chan.
[04:08] Shinpachi
    Yeow, stop!!
[04:10] Kagura
    I can't. This kid is rebelling!
[04:14] Gintoki
    You idiot! Stop that "Bold Shogun"!
[04:17] Shinpachi
    Kagura-chan, we're gonna die! Seriously, we're gonna die!
[04:20] Shinpachi
    The switch, the switch! Turn it off!
[04:21] Kagura
    I can't! I've never dealt with a rebellious kid before!
[04:23] Shinpachi
    If you don't know how to use it, then don't even try!
[04:31] Gintoki
    Take this!
[04:38] Gintoki
    Dammit!
[04:39] Shinpachi
    What do you mean, dammit?!
[04:40] ---
    Why are you trying to destroy me?
[04:42] Gintoki
    Don't worry.
[04:44] ---
    People destroy their old selves so they can embark on a journey to find their new selves.
[04:48] Shinpachi
    Embarking, my ass!
[04:49] ---
    You were about to send me off to another world, you moron!
[04:54] Gintoki
    Kagura, don't move!
[04:56] Kagura
    I got it, Gin-chan.
[05:05] Gintoki
    Okay, it stopped.
[05:07] Kagura
    Case closed.
[05:09] Shinpachi
    What do you mean, "case closed"?! This place looks worse than before.
[05:12] Delivery Man
    Ding dong.
[05:15] Delivery Man
    Ding dong.
[05:16] ---
    Excuse me, I have a delivery for you.
SIGN    "Mistaking Someone's Name Is Rude!"
[05:26] Sakamoto (Narration)
    Dear Kintoki-kun, we haven't kept in touch for a while, but how are you doing?
[05:32] Sakamoto (Narration)
    I'm fine as usual, flying all over the universe.
[05:37] ---
    Space is truly a great place.
[05:39] Sakamoto (Narration)
    The other day, I had an opportunity to stop by Earth so I went to visit you.
[05:45] Sakamoto (Narration)
    But sadly, we missed each other.
[05:47] Sakamoto (Narration)
    Actually, I'm writing because there was something I wanted to tell you...
[05:53] ---
    Way back then, you said...
[05:55] Gintoki
    Hey, Ibaragi. I heard you went to a hostess club again. Next time, take me too.
[06:00] Sakamoto (Narration)
    That's what you said.
SIGN    [IbaraKI]
[06:01] ---
    But his name isn't Ibaragi! It's Ibaraki!
[06:05] Sakamoto (Narration)
    I thought, why bring it up now?
[06:06] ---
    But it's just rude to get someone's name wrong.
[06:11] Sakamoto (Narration)
    Well, take care of yourself, Kintoki-kun.
SIGN    [But it's just rude to get someone's name wrong, Kintoki. Well, take care of yourself, Kintoki-kun.]
[06:14] Sakamoto (Narration)
    From Tatsuma Sakamoto.
[06:16] ---
    P.S. Sorry for destroying your house.
[06:18] ---
    P.P.S...
[06:20] Sakamoto (Narration)
    Haven't you always wanted to use "P.S." every time you write a letter? (lol)
[06:25] Gintoki
    Who's laughing?
[06:27] ---
    Jeez, the body of the letter and the "P.S." should be the other way around!
[06:29] Gintoki
    He destroys my house and all I get is a "P.S." apology?
[06:32] ---
    Yeah, and he gets people's names wrong, too!
[06:34] ---
    Even if P.S. means I wish for world peace, it's still unforgivable.
[06:39] Kagura
    Birds of a feather flock together...
[06:41] Gintoki
    We don't flock together!
[06:42] ---
    I hope he dies. I hope he suffers a slow painful death.
[06:47] Shinpachi
    Take it easy, Gin-san.
[06:49] ---
    The letter is just something extra.
[06:51] ---
    What Sakamoto-san really wanted to send you is this, right?
[06:55] Kagura
    What's in this box?
[06:57] Shinpachi
    I bet he sent you a spectacular apology gift for what he did.
[07:00] Gintoki
    Oh yeah, now that I think about it, he is Mr. Richie Rich...
[07:06] Gintoki Kagura Shinpachi
    Money?
[07:07] Gintoki
    What's this now?
[07:09] Gintoki
    All right, all right. Well, why didn't you say so in the first place, you little rascal.
[07:13] Gintoki
    I tell you...
[07:14] Gintoku
    That guy is more...
[07:14] Shinpachi (Overlap)
    We can finally fix up the house now...
[07:16] Gintoku
    ...of a rascal than me.
[07:23] Unkei
    Hello.
[07:24] Kaikei
    Thank you for calling Por-
[07:27] Gintoki
    Oh, this must be a dream. It's illogical. This can't be happening.
[07:31] Kagura
    There were little old men in there. Little old men squished inside.
[07:35] Shinpachi
    No, those were dolls, right? They're dolls. Let's take another look...
[07:41] Gintoki
    I'm telling you, it's a dream! Come on, that's enough, I gotta wake up now.
[07:45] Unkei
    Hello.
[07:46] Kaikeii
    Thank you for calling Por-
[07:47] Gintoki
    No way! It's a dream. A weird dream.
[07:52] Shinpachi
    We're being tormented by hallucinations of tiny bald men.
[07:55] Gintoki
    All right, we're done here. Let's meet back after we wake up.
[07:59] Shinpachi Kagura
    Okay.
[08:00] Unkei
    Hang on there!!
[08:03] Unkei
    You buttheads!
[08:04] Unkei
    Listen till we're done talking, you morons!
[08:07] Kaikei
    We're supposed to say, "Thank you for using Portable Carpenters!" You idiots!
[08:13] Gintoki
    Portable Carpenters? I've never heard of such a thing.
[08:17] ---
    I have no idea what that is, so go home.
[08:19] Unkei
    How dare you talk to us like that!
[08:21] Kaikei
    We came all the way from a distant planet to fix your house!
[08:24] Shinpachi
    By any chance, did Sakamoto-san ask you to come?
[08:28] Unkei
    That's right! When we get a call, we go! No matter how far!
[08:33] ---
    Unkei! And...
[08:35] Kaikei
    Kaikei!! We're the Portable Carpenters!
[08:37] Gintoki
    Don't you have anyone...taller?
[08:38] Unkei
    This isn't an escort service.
[08:40] Gintoki
    You buttheads, what can you do looking like that?
[08:43] ---
    I bet you can only make houses out of candy.
[08:46] ---
    Oh, but then again, it's candy. That's not so bad...
[08:49] Unkei
    Don't be shocked, but...
[08:51] ---
    Do you know the mighty Terminal building, the symbol of Japan's might, which made Edo an international city?
[08:55] Unkei
    That terminal... Inside there...
[08:59] Unkei
    You know that cupboard for ladles in the kitchen?
[09:03] Unkei
    We made those!
[09:05] Kaikei
    Even when you close the door, they don't come crashing down.
[09:08] Gintoki
    That's lame. I made a bookshelf out of milk cartons.
[09:12] Kagura
    And it's environmentally friendly.
[09:14] Unkei
    So? You think something like that is going to save the Earth?
[09:18] Gintoki
    Who cares about the Earth, it's more like we don't have money.
[09:20] Kagura
    Yeah, we've got a tight household budget!
[09:22] Shinpachi
    What the heck are you guys talking about?
[09:24] Shinpachi
    It can't get any worse. Let's have them do it.
[09:28] ---
    Besides, it looks like Sakamoto-san already paid them.
[09:35] Gintoki
    Do you know this saying?
[09:37] Gintoki
    It's something a carpenter named Mokichi once said...
[09:40] ---
    "Craftsmen who talk a lot are never good."
[09:43] ---
    A good craftsman hardly even knows how to use his mouth.
[09:48] Gintoki
    He lets his hands do the talking.
[09:52] Gintoki
    Which kind are you guys?
[09:59] Otose
    What's all that racket?
[10:03] Otose
    Is it them... Hm?
[10:05] Unkei
    That punk burns me up!
SIGN    [Odd Jobs Gin Otose Snack House]
[10:07] Kaikei
    We'll show him who the best carpenters in the universe are!
[10:11] Otose
    Who the heck are those guys?
[10:17] Shinpachi
    A-Amazing.
[10:19] Shinpachi
    They fixed everything in just a day...
[10:33] Unkei
    Take a look. The interior's perfect too.
[10:35] Kaikei
    These are the skills of the best carpenters in the universe!
[10:37] Shinpachi
    Awesome! They really are skilled carpenters.
[10:40] ---
    Gin-san, isn't that terrific? We're back in business again.
[10:46] Gintoki
    Something's not right.
[10:48] Gintoki
    I don't remember Odd Jobs being this bleak.
[10:52] Unkei
    It's not our fault you can't afford furniture!
[10:54] Kaikei
    We haven't touched the original structure.
[10:56] Gintoki
    No, no, no...
[10:58] Gintoki
    It's not that.
[11:00] ---
    Something's missing. Um...
[11:03] ---
    Oh, I know.
[11:06] Gintoki
    I thought it looked dreary...
[11:08] Gintoki
    The chandelier is gone!
[11:10] Unkei Kaikei
    Chandelier?
[11:12] Unkei
    What do you mean, "chandelier"?
[11:13] Kaikei
    Wouldn't a chandelier look funny in a traditional Japanese interior?!
[11:16] Shinpachi
    Come to think of it, did we have something like that?
[11:20] Gintoki
    I'm sure we did. You just never looked at the ceiling. You must've forgotten.
[11:25] Kagura
    Now that you mention it, I remember there was one.
[11:28] Gintoki
    And, what happened to the stairs to the third floor?
[11:31] Shinpachi
    The third floor?
[11:32] Shinpachi
    We had that? I never heard about that!
[11:34] Gintoki
    Oh yeah, you guys may not know about it. It used to be above the dresser.
[11:39] ---
    The third floor was for my JUMP collection.
[11:41] Shinpachi
    Are you serious?
[11:42] Kagura
    Also, my room looks weird. It wasn't this small.
[11:46] Kagura
    Don't mess with me. The floor was enough for 30 Tatami mats.
SIGN    [Note: Tatami mats are units to measure floor space.]
[11:49] Unkei Kaikei
    Thirty mats?
[11:50] Unkei
    That closet was thirty mats?
[11:52] Kaikei
    That's bigger than the whole room!
[11:53] Gintoki
    Kagura, isn't that pushing it a bit much?
[11:57] Kagura
    Okay, then I'll compromise at twenty mats.
[11:59] Unkei
    I've never heard such an unreasonable compromise!
[12:01] Gintoki
    Also, the toilet. I'm pretty sure there was a shower toilet in there.
SIGN    [Note: A shower toilet is a toilet that has a retracting shower head offering "rinse" and "bidet" functions.]
[12:05] Kagura
    Also the bathroom wall was all glass. It had a more erotic feel to it.
[12:09] Shinpachi
    Oh, I remember, too. And there was a karaoke machine in the living room.
[12:13] Unkei
    Hang on there. We never even touched the living room! That should be the way it was.
[12:17] Gintoki
    Have you ever heard this story?
[12:21] Gintoki
    Long ago...
[12:23] Gintoki
    There were two carpenters who vied to be the most popular carpenters in Edo...
[12:26] Gintoki
    One was a millionaire's son, who was skilled and also well off. His name was Gohei.
[12:31] Gintoki
    The other was odd and boasted that as long as he could drive a nail, he'd never want for food-Mokichi.
[12:36] Gintoki
    Mokichi had no interest in worldly success, but Gohei was different.
[12:40] Gintoki
    Every day, Gohei schemed to get rid of Mokichi so that he could be the most popular in Edo.
[12:46] Gintoki
    Before long, Mokichi's reputation began to wane. Gohei was behind this.
[12:51] Gintoki
    He pulled in all his connections and stuck Mokichi with all the worst jobs.
[12:58] Gintoki
    Mokichi had all the impossible and difficult jobs forced on him,
[13:01] Gintoki
    and eventually, Mokichi was no longer able to find work.
[13:04] ---
    Exactly as Gohei had planned.
[13:06] Gintoki
    Mokichi's popularity dwindled rapidly and Gohei's day had come...
[13:10] ---
    Or so it seemed... But suddenly Mokichi's troubles just dissolved.
[13:14] Gintoki
    Several years later, Mokichi's popularity surpassed that of Gohei's and
[13:17] Gintoki
    he was indisputably the top carpenter in Edo.
[13:20] Ginpachi
    You probably want to know why.
[13:22] ---
    Gohei wanted to know, too.
[13:24] Gohei
    You bastard, what kind of dirty trick did you pull?
[13:27] ---
    Weren't you getting forced to do all the impossible jobs?
[13:30] Gintoki
    Mokichi replied...
[13:32] Mokichi
    You're right.
[13:34] Mokichi
    And it was difficult work, but it taught me more than I've ever known about carpentry.
[13:38] Mokichi
    I sure am grateful it happened.
[13:42] Kagura
    Mokichi's the bomb!
[13:44] Shinpachi
    Mokichi probably didn't realize he was being tricked.
[13:48] Shinpachi
    He loved carpentry so much that he welcomed the challenge!
[13:51] Gintoki
    Isn't that what it means to be a craftsman?
[13:56] Unkei
    Dammit!
[13:58] Unkei
    That punk burns me up!
[14:01] Kaikei
    Brother!! No matter how you look at it,
[14:03] Kaikei
    they're playing us!
[14:04] Kaikei
    Like marionettes on a string!
[14:06] Unkei
    I know! I know, but I can't stop. He's got my carpenter's blood heated up!
[14:10] Kaikei
    Brother! Me, too! What is this feeling?
[14:14] Unkei
    Was this how Mokichi felt?
[14:16] Unkei Kaikei
    Mokichi!!
[14:19] Otose
    Who's Mokichi?
[14:35] End Of Part Aunkei
    How's that? You son of a bitch!
[14:38] Kaikei
    You've got no complaints now!
[14:39] ---
    Witness the work of the greatest carpenters in the universe!
[14:42] Shinpachi
    Wow! That's amazing. They even made a third floor, too.
[14:46] Kagura
    My room hasn't changed at all! What's the meaning of this?
[14:49] Gintoki
    Wow, you two are pretty good.
[14:51] Unkei
    All right, then!
[14:53] Kaikei
    We'll be going now.
[14:54] Kagura
    Hey, what about my room?
[14:56] Gintoki
    Well, there's still the outside.
[14:59] Unkei Kaikei
    Outside?
[15:00] Unkei
    O-Outside? We already did the outside!
[15:03] Kaikei
    Yeah, you didn't say anything about that before!
[15:05] Kagura
    Hey, what about my room? Don't ignore me!
[15:08] Gintoki
    No, but there's still something missing... The Odd Jobs was more...
[15:15] Gintoki
    More like this...
[15:18] Unkei
    Hey, that is beyond missing something!
[15:21] ---
    That's totally different.
[15:22] Unkei
    That's the Parthenon.
[15:23] Gintoki
    That's right. Like the "Parthemom."
[15:25] Unkei
    You showed us that without even knowing what the Parthenon is?!
[15:27] Kagura (Overlap)
    That's lame!
[15:28] ---
    It looked like this! This one!
[15:30] Unkei
    That's the Castle in the Sky!
SIGN    [Note: "Castle in the Sky" is a popular anime film by Hayao Miyazaki.]
[15:32] ---
    That would be a trademark violation!!
[15:34] Unkei
    This is pointless. We're leaving!
[15:37] Gintoki
    All right.
[15:39] Gintoki
    Okay, fine. You can leave it as is. Just make it fly.
[15:42] Kagura
    Make it so it flies when you push a button, you buttheads.
[15:45] Unkei
    That's the biggest problem!
[15:47] Kaikei
    In what world have you ever seen a house that flies when you push a button?
[15:49] Gintoki
    Generally speaking, in the world of animation, when you push a button, things work out somehow.
[15:53] Kagura
    That's right. All you do is just push a button for everything.
[15:55] Kankei
    I'm getting tired of this.
[15:57] Unkei
    Really, we're leaving...
[15:58] Gintoki
    Hey, did you ever hear this story...?
[16:03] Unkei
    Dammit!!
[16:05] Unkei
    That young punk's so annoying!
[16:07] Kaikei
    We already used up all the money that Sakamoto guy gave us a long time ago!!
[16:11] Unkei
    But still... What a shock that Mokichi had such a secret in his past!
[16:15] Kaikei
    Yeah, who can say no after hearing that!
[16:18] Unkei
    Kaikei! That must mean we have the same heart as Mokichi.
[16:22] Kaikei
    You think so, Brother? We're the same as him?
[16:26] Unkei Kaikei
    Mokichi!!
[16:28] Otose
    Like I was saying, who is Mokichi?
[16:33] Kaikei
    Brother...it's already morning... Just a little bit more...
[16:37] ---
    Brother?
[16:38] Unkei
    Let's take a break. I'll go get us some coffee.
[16:43] Unkei
    You can't do good work by pushing yourself too hard.
[16:46] ---
    Speed isn't everything.
[16:48] Kaikei
    But...
[16:50] Unkei
    I'm sure Mokichi had a coffee or two
[16:53] Unkei
    as he took pleasure in watching his work being completed.
[17:00] Unkei
    While working, you reflect upon...
[17:02] Unkei
    ...the joy your work gives you.
[17:04] ---
    Isn't that what being a craftsman is all about?
[17:07] Kaikei
    Brother! I just got goosebumps when I heard that!
[17:11] Unkei
    Kaikei! We have but one goal!
[17:14] Unkei Kaikei
    Mokichi!!
[17:17] Otose
    So who is this Mokichi?
[17:20] Gintoki
    Mokichi? He doesn't exist.
[17:23] ---
    I just made him up.
[17:25] Kagura
    Are you serious?
[17:27] Gintoki
    Those two are so easy to fool.
[17:29] Shinpachi
    But...if they ever find out, they'll be really mad.
[17:33] Shinpachi
    I think it's best if we keep it to ourselves.
[17:35] Gintoki
    Don't worry about it.
[17:37] ---
    They're stupid enough to seriously buy into that story.
[17:39] ---
    I'm sure they won't figure it out...
[17:45] Unkei
    You asshole! It was all a lie?! Shit...
[17:49] Gintoki
    Hey, wait...
[17:51] Kaikei
    What?! Are you serious, Brother?
[17:53] Kaikei
    You're saying Mokichi never existed?
[17:56] Unkei
    That's right.
[17:57] ---
    That's why we're leaving, Kaikei!
[17:58] ---
    Our job is done here.
[18:00] Kaikei
    B-But, Brother!!
[18:14] Shinpachi
    Gin-san...
[18:21] Unkei
    Humph... Like I would ever come back to this planet again!
[18:24] Kaikei
    But Brother... Was it okay to just leave in the middle of a job?
[18:29] Unkei
    Who cares? We worked hard for them and they toyed with our emotions.
[18:35] ---
    They should be thankful.
[18:37] Gintoki
    Oh yeah?
[18:38] Kaikei
    You...!
[18:40] Unkei
    You got some nerve showing your face in front of us.
[18:43] Ginkei
    Come on, don't say that... There must be some misunderstanding.
[18:48] Unkei
    What?
[18:49] Gintoki
    Whether or not Mokichi existed is not the point.
[18:52] ---
    That's totally irrelevant.
[18:54] Unkei
    What?!
[18:55] Kaikei
    What are you talking about?
[18:56] Gintoki
    The real Mokichi...
[18:59] Gintoki
    ...lives inside the souls of craftsmen like you guys...
[19:06] Gintoki
    Your faces already look like the face of Mokichi...
[19:10] Unkei
    Y...You...
[19:13] Gintoki
    Have you ever heard this story?
[19:20] Unkei
    I get it! I get it now!!
[19:22] ---
    Who knew there was such a mystery hidden behind the story of Mokichi.
[19:26] ---
    Mokichi, you're the best!
[19:30] Kaikei
    Who can say no after hearing that?!
[19:34] Unkei
    Kaikei! I don't understand! Did Mokichi really exist or not?
[19:39] Kaikei
    It doesn't matter, Brother. It's all in our souls.
[19:42] Kaikei
    Whether he actually existed or not, Mokichi lives inside of us!
[19:46] Unkei
    All right, Kaikei! Let's do this.
[19:48] Unkei
    Let's give it our all!
[19:50] Kaikei
    Brother! Let's show them that we are the best carpenters in the universe!
[19:54] Unkei
    No! The second best! For the best must be...
[19:58] Unkei Kaikei
    Mokichi!!
[20:00] Otose
    Like I said, who the heck is this Mokichi?
SIGN    [Note: This is a parody of the Japanese show where celebrities visit various interesting sites around Japan]
SIGN    [Atsunosuke Watanabe's Building Report]
SIGN    [Tsuruya]
[20:11] Watanabe
    Good morning. I'm Atsunosuke Watanabe.
[20:14] ---
    Today, here in Kabukicho, Edo's business and shopping district,
[20:17] Watanabe
    we will be visiting the home of Gintoki Sakata who runs Odd Jobs.
[20:23] ---
    Oh, this must be his house.
[20:27] Watanabe
    Today's building, the Sakata residence,
[20:29] Watanabe
    was recently renovated by two Amanto architect brothers, Unkei and Kaikei,
[20:35] Watanabe
    The exterior is reminiscent of the Greek Parthenon
[20:39] Watanabe
    and it is combined with a gorgeous palace section. I will now guide you through the Sakata residence.
[20:45] Watanabe
    Let's talk to the master of the house, Sakata-san.
[20:49] ---
    Hello...? Hmm...the doorbell is...
[20:52] ---
    Uh, let's see...
[20:53] Watanabe
    Is this it? Just push the button...
[21:04] Watanabe
    I can feel a vibration...as profound as the exterior of the house.
[21:26] Watanabe
    What a wonderful house. It flies!
[21:40] Gintoki
    Somebody...go get Mokichi...
SIGN    
SIGN    Uh...what is wrong with me?
[23:17] ---
    To have feelings for a girl other than Otsu-chan.
[23:20] ---
    Cat ears... Cat ears are...
[23:23] ---
    Super cute!!
[23:26] Shinpachi
    The next episode: "Love Doesn't Require a Manual."
SIGN    [The girl's name is "Eromesu." A beautiful girl with cute cat ears.]
SIGN    
SIGN    [Shinpachi has no experience in love and seeks help through the internet.]
SIGN    
[23:39] Narrator
    Gintama, wouldn't it be fun to have a game like this? Or something like it?
SIGN    [What? Don't look at me.]
[23:44] Narrator
    It's a Seaman-type game where you talk to an unemployed middle-aged man
SIGN    [Note: Seaman is a virtual pet video game where you feed and care for "Seaman," a form of freshwater fish with a human like face, like a Sea Monkey.]
[23:48] Narrator
    who is a DORK so you can help him get a job.
[23:53] Narrator
    Basically, even if you start a conversation, the DORK (Dumb Old Retarded Kook) will ignore you.
[23:57] ---
    That's because he already has his hands full with his own life.
[24:00] Narrator
    He'll get depressed sometimes.
[24:02] ---
    You may want to give him encouragement, but you must not talk to him.
[24:05] ---
    You must never say to him "try your best."
[24:08] ---
    Because he is already trying his best.
[24:12] Narrator
    Sometimes, he'll try to play with a rope hanging from the ceiling.
[24:15] ---
    When that happens, push the B button repeatedly to cut the rope.
[24:18] Narrator
    Sometimes, he may just stare at the string hanging from the light and say "move...move."
SIGN    [Butsu butsu]
[24:26] ---
    When that happens, push the B button repeatedly as well.
SIGN    [Good evening, I'm Betty.]
[24:28] Narrator
    Sometimes, a strange woman may pay him a visit.
[24:31] Narrator
    When that happens, shout "change" in a loud voice.
SIGN    [Brain-rotting game DORK]
[24:36] Narrator
    In the end, all you can say is "change."