E256.C - Gintama Classic - No Matter How Old You Get, You Still Hate the Dentist
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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Timer:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:43] Gintoki
Hurry it up...
[01:46] Gintoki
I'm begging ya.
[01:48] Gintoki
Make it quick.
[01:51] Gintoki
Please...
[01:53] Gintoki
Hurry...
[01:54] Gintoki
End my suffering!
[01:57] Gintoki
Why don't you finish me off?
[02:00] Gintoki
Why must you waste time?
[02:03] Gintoki
Kill me!
[02:04] Gintoki
Just get it over with!
[02:06] Gintoki
Do you enjoy torturing me?!
[02:09] Gintoki
Please!
[02:10] Gintoki
I can't stand just sitting here
waiting for my death!
[02:14] Gintoki
I'll go insane!
[02:16] Gintoki
I beg ya!
[02:18] Gintoki
Quick!
[02:19] Gintoki
Kill me!
[02:24] Nurse A
Um, Sakata-san.
[02:25] Nurse A
Excuse me, but could you keep it down?
[02:30] Nurse A
You're disturbing the other patients.
SIGN [Namu Dental Clinic]
[02:35] Gintoki
Sorry about that...
SIGN ["People Of All Ages Hate The Dentist!"]
[02:46] Gintoki
No...
[02:47] Gintoki
I hate going to the dentist.
[02:49] Gintoki
That distinctive odor...
[02:51] Gintoki
That shady easy listening music...
[02:54] Gintoki
The echoing whir of the drill...
[02:56] Gintoki
And the wait... It's like waiting
for your death sentence...
[03:00] Gintoki
Damn! I SO wanna go home!
[03:02] Gintoki
Go home, latch on to Sadaharu,
and cuddle in his fur!
[03:06] Gintoki
But my tooth hurts...
[03:07] Gintoki
No, but I'm scared of the treatment...
[03:09] Gintoki
How many times have
I gone through this?
[03:11] Gintoki
Just put me out of my misery.
[03:14] Gintoki
Sure, a candy lover is doomed
to a life of cavities,
[03:18] Gintoki
but that aspect of my character's
been forgotten, you know?
[03:22] Gintoki
There was no scene of me
eating sweets lately.
[03:25] Gintoki
They're gonna drill.
[03:27] Gintoki
They'll stick that thing
in my mouth for sure.
[03:29] Gintoki
A drill doesn't belong in your mouth.
[03:32] Gintoki
It's the last thing you
should stick in there!
[03:33] Gintoki
That's not what a doctor's
supposed to do.
[03:35] Gintoki
What do I do?
[03:36] Gintoki
Will I die if I sneeze when
the drill's in my mouth?
[03:39] Gintoki
Am I gonna die?
[03:41] Gintoki
What do I do?
[03:42] Gintoki
Will I die if that sucking tube
thing gets my tongue?
[03:46] Gintoki
Am I gonna die?!
[03:50] Gintoki
Stop, stop!!
[03:51] Gintoki
Enough already!!
[03:53] Gintoki
I'll stop thinking about it.
[03:55] Gintoki
I'll read a magazine or something
to take my mind off that.
[03:57] Gintoki
JUMP... JUMP...
SIGN [Note: "Weekly Shonen Magazine" published from Kodansha.]
[04:00] Gintoki
What? This place prefers Magazine?
[04:02] Gintoki
I guess it can't hurt every
once in a while...
[04:12] Gintoki
Here to clean your tobacco
stains? You nicotine addict!
[04:14] Hijikata
Can't you tell from my face?
[04:16] Hijikata
An old silver cap decided to rot on me.
SIGN [Note: Part of Gintoki's name is "Gin", which is silver in Japanese.]
[04:20] Hijikata
Damn, anything with the word
"silver" in it is bound to fail.
[04:23] Gintoki
Let go. I grabbed it first.
[04:25] Hijikata
No, we touched it at the same time.
[04:26] Hijikata
And don't you prefer JUMP?
[04:27] Hijikata
Let this Magazine fan have it.
[04:29] Gintoki
It's a good idea to check
out the enemy at times.
[04:33] Gintoki
So what if it's the 50th anniversary?
[04:35] Gintoki
Why are you teaming up with Sunday?
[04:38] Gintoki
Something's up there.
[04:39] Hijikata
What, are you jealous?
[04:40] Hijikata
You want in or something?
[04:42] Hijikata
You upset about not being
invited to the party?
[04:44] Gintoki
Heck no.
[04:44] Gintoki
Go enjoy it yourselves.
[04:45] Gintoki
It's easier for us to go solo.
[04:47] Gintoki
No point in cooperating when you
guys have no chance against us.
[04:50] Hijikata
You've got it backwards.
[04:52] Hijikata
Don't you understand that
everyone hates you?
[04:54] Hijikata
Can't you tell that
you're being shunned?
[04:56] Nurse A
Please keep it down.
[04:56] Gintoki
What? Pretending to be popular?
[04:57] Nurse A
You're disturbing the other patients...
[04:58] Gintoki
Haven't you realized that Sunday's only
pretending to be a buddy to Magazine?
[05:01] Gintoki
He was trashing you on the way
home from school the other day.
[05:03] Hijikata
Sunday would never do that!
[05:05] Hijikata
Don't make shit up.
[05:06] Gintoki
Go ask Champion.
SIGN [Note: "Weekly Shonen Champion" is manga magazine from Akita Shoten.]
[05:08] Gintoki
He heard it too.
[05:09] Hijikata
Shut up!
[05:09] Hijikata
What do you know about Sunday?!
[05:11] Gintoki
Keep on pretending to be all tight!
[05:12] Gintoki
Too bad you're anything but!
[05:13] Nurse A
Hey! I told you to
shut the hell up!
[05:13] Gintoki
Everybody knows already!
[05:14] Gintoki
Gangan and Ace know too!
SIGN [Note: Monthly manga magazines. "Gangan" is published by
Square Enix and "Shonen Ace" is published by Kadokawa Shoten.]
[05:22] Hijikata
I just had to run into this jerk.
[05:24] Gintoki
Why did I have to bump
into him of all people?
[05:28] Hijikata
I have to act calm.
[05:30] Gintoki
I can't let him know my weakness.
[05:34] Both
I can't let him know that I still
hate the dentist at this age!
[05:41] Gintoki
Hey, can you cut that out?
[05:45] Gintoki
Constantly fidgeting...
[05:47] Gintoki
How many times are you
going to cross your legs?
[05:49] Gintoki
You're making me nervous.
[05:51] Hijikata
And what about you?
[05:52] Hijikata
Your leg's been tapping like crazy.
SIGN [Note: Restless Legs Syndrome is known as
"Poor People's Shake" in Japan, based on how
poor people are often always shivering, etc.]
[05:55] Hijikata
Could you cut it out?
[05:56] Hijikata
You're gonna make me poor like you.
[05:58] Gintoki
I'm all irritated because
of your fidgeting.
[06:00] Gintoki
Oh?
[06:02] Gintoki
Is that it?
[06:03] Gintoki
Are you scared?
[06:04] Gintoki
The Demon Vice-Chief?
[06:06] Hijikata
Huh? What?
[06:07] Hijikata
No idea what you're talking about.
[06:08] Hijikata
Scared of what?
[06:09] Hijikata
Was there something scary
about the dentist?
[06:12] Gintoki
No, not really.
[06:13] Gintoki
Nothing at all.
[06:14] Hijikata
You said that because there's
something to be scared of.
[06:17] Hijikata
Which means you're the
one who's scared?
[06:19] Gintoki
Hell no.
[06:20] Gintoki
You know how people say that the
sound of a drill can be scary?
[06:24] Gintoki
Not that I would understand.
[06:26] Hijikata
I don't get it either.
[06:27] Hijikata
Hell, I want a drill in my
mouth every week;
[06:30] Hijikata
come in to get plaque removed
on a regular basis.
[06:33] Gintoki
What? You don't do that?
[06:34] Gintoki
I have the whole package
done every three days.
[06:38] Gintoki
My mouth feels all icky if I
don't get that drill in there.
[06:41] Hijikata
Oh, really.
[06:43] Hijikata
I have my own drill at home so
I don't have to come here.
[06:46] Hijikata
Since I'm a driller.
[06:48] Gintoki
Driller?!
[06:49] Gintoki
What the hell's a driller?!
[06:51] Gintoki
Why do you have your own drill?!
[06:53] Gintoki
He's crazy!
[06:53] Gintoki
No fear of drills!
[06:56] Gintoki
Oh, you're also a driller?
[06:59] Gintoki
What a coincidence.
[07:00] Gintoki
Interested in entering a
drill contest with me?
[07:03] Hijikata
Drill contest?!
[07:05] Hijikata
No way! I don't wanna do that crap!
[07:08] Hijikata
This guy enters a contest like that?!
[07:10] Hijikata
He's a monster!
[07:12] Hijikata
Sure, if I'm off that day.
[07:14] Hijikata
Well, I'll try to keep my schedule open.
[07:17] Hasegawa
Huh? What are you two
doing here together?
[07:21] Gintoki
Hasegawa-san.
[07:22] Hasegawa
You guys are also having
teeth problems?
[07:25] Hijikata
I was taking a walk and decided
to stop by for a drilling.
[07:28] Hasegawa
A drill? What are you talking about?
[07:30] Gintoki
Are you also here for a drilling?
[07:32] Hasegawa
A drilling? Well, I'm
here to get treated.
[07:34] Hasegawa
I just stepped out for a bathroom break.
[07:37] Hasegawa
But man...
[07:39] Hasegawa
The treatment here really hurts.
[07:46] Gintoki
O-Oh, really...
[07:49] Gintoki
I hate those month-long
treatments that require
[07:50] ---
you to keep going back to the dentist.
[07:52] Gintoki
I heard that they did
it in one shot here.
[07:55] Hasegawa
Sure, they're fast, but it hurts.
[07:59] Hasegawa
I felt like screaming so many times.
[08:01] Assistant
Hasegawa-san!
[08:03] Assistant
Are you finished?
[08:04] Hasegawa
Oh, sorry! I'm on my way.
[08:06] Hasegawa
I'll be going then.
[08:08] Hasegawa
You'd better prepare yourselves.
[08:14] Gintoki
I-I see...
[08:16] Gintoki
It hurts...
[08:17] Gintoki
W-Well, dental treatments are
supposed to hurt.
[08:20] Hijikata
Th-That's right...
[08:22] Hijikata
To the point where you wonder
if it worked if it didn't hurt.
[08:25] Gintoki
Hmm? You look a little pale?
[08:28] Hijikata
Not at all.
[08:30] Assistant
Hasegawa-san, don't struggle!
[08:33] Assistant
It's dangerous so you
have to stay still!
[08:34] Dr. Yabuta
Hold Hasegawa-san down.
[08:36] Dr. Yabuta
Tie him down to the seat.
[08:37] Dr. Yabuta
Ah, yes. Like that.
[08:39] Hijikata
Doesn't this sound a little too painful?
[08:42] Gintoki
What kind of treatment is this?!
[08:45] Assistant
Doctor! Hasegawa-san's pulse!
[08:47] Dr. Yabuta
Perform CPR. If it doesn't work,
bring out the defibrillator.
[08:50] Hijikata
Defibrillator?!
[08:51] Hijikata
Why would a dentist need that?!
[08:52] Assistant
Doctor! His pulse is back,
[08:54] Assistant
but the shock threw "that" loose!
[08:56] Gintoki
Threw "that" loose?!
[08:57] Gintoki
What's "that"?! What's loose?!
[08:59] Dr. Yabuta
Oh, it's okay. We won't
be using that again.
[09:01] Dr. Yabuta
Dip it in the ponzu sauce.
SIGN [Note: Ponzu sauce is a citrus based sauce often used as dip for shabu-shabu.]
[09:02] Gintoki
Dip it in the ponzu sauce?!
[09:03] Gintoki
What are they doing?!
[09:04] Assistant
Wouldn't this go better
with sesame sauce, Doc?
[09:07] Hijikata
Sesame sauce?!
[09:08] Hijikata
Are they having shabu-shabu?!
[09:09] Hijikata
They're having shabu-shabu, right?!
[09:11] Dr. Yabuta
Okay, that should do it.
[09:12] Hijikata
It's over?!
[09:13] Hijikata
They finished it with a ponzu sauce?!
[09:15] Dr. Yabuta
How do you feel, Hasegawa-san?
[09:17] Hasegawa
Man, it's like the
pain's completely gone.
[09:20] Gintoki
Not just your pain, but like a part
of your body's also gone!
[09:22] Gintoki
It's been dunked in ponzu sauce!
[09:24] Dr. Yabuta
You'll be able to eat anything you
want now, just like before.
[09:27] Hasegawa
Man... Thank you very much, Doc.
[09:31] Assistant
We've included some painkillers and
a toothbrush specially made by us.
[09:35] Hasegawa
Thanks for being so considerate.
[09:38] Assistant
Take care now.
[09:39] Hasegawa
Thank you very much!
[09:43] Hasegawa
Man, I'm completely better now.
[09:46] Hasegawa
It was damn painful, but the
dentist was pretty good.
[09:49] Hasegawa
Look, they even included a toothbrush!
[09:54] Both
Included as in literally included?!
[09:57] Gintoki
Wait!
[09:58] Gintoki
Your teeth are fine now, but you lost
something more important instead?!
[10:01] Hijikata
That's way beyond an
equivalent exchange!
[10:03] Nurse A
You should come in for a new toothbrush
if the bristles wear out.
[10:06] Hasegawa
May I say something...?
[10:08] Gintoki
Yeah! Speak your mind! Sue them!
[10:10] Hijikata
That's one crazy quack!
[10:12] Hasegawa
I need a hard toothbrush
to get the job done.
[10:15] Both
That's not the issue here!
[10:17] Nurse A
Yes, no problem.
[10:18] Nurse A
We included a hard toothbrush
on your crotch to be safe.
[10:21] Nurse A
It'll get hard when you
play around with it.
[10:23] Gintoki
That's not the point!!
[10:25] Gintoki
How are you supposed to
brush your teeth with it?!
[10:27] Gintoki
Only your wife can reach down
there to brush with it!
[10:28] Dr. Yabuta
Well, you take care now.
[10:32] Kondo
Oh, it's Toshi!
[10:33] Kondo
You guys are also here to get treated?
[10:35] Hijikata
Kondo-san...
[10:36] Kondo
Man, this dentist does good work!
[10:39] Kondo
I'm completely better now!
[10:40] Kondo
They even included an...
[10:42] Kondo
electric toothbrush.
[10:45] Hijikata
Electric toothbrush...?
[10:47] Gintoki
Isn't that Hasegawa-san's arm?
[10:50] Kondo
Well, it smells like ponzu sauce,
but it's pretty useful.
[10:53] Gintoki
Hey! It's obviously Hasegawa-san's!
[10:56] Hasegawa
Really? I don't like the idea of
letting machines do the work.
[11:00] Hasegawa
You have to brush your teeth
with your own hands.
[11:02] Hijikata
Yeah, that'd be your hand right there.
[11:04] Hijikata
And hasn't your hand been
replaced by a toothbrush?
[11:06] Nurse A
If Hasega...
[11:08] Nurse A
The electric toothbrush starts to rot,
please come in to get it replaced.
[11:11] Gintoki
She was about to say Hasegawa-san's
arm, wasn't she?!
[11:13] Kondo
Excuse me...
[11:14] Kondo
I'm having a hard time getting
the brush to reach my mouth.
[11:17] Kondo
Is that okay?
[11:19] Nurse A
It's fine.
[11:20] Nurse A
If it doesn't reach, use a toothbrush in
your own hand to brush your teeth.
[11:23] Hijikata
Why'd you include the arm then?!
[11:25] Hijikata
That's just harassment!
[11:26] Nurse A
Take care now, you two.
[11:29] Gintoki
Take care, my ass!
[11:30] Gintoki
Why don't you take care
of your patients first?!
[11:33] Hijikata
This isn't dental care. They're
modifying your body!
[11:37] Gintoki
This dentist is crazy!
[11:39] Gintoki
It's way too insane!
[11:48] Hijikata
H-Hey...
[11:49] Hijikata
What are you doing? Get outta here!
[11:52] Hijikata
This is no dental clinic.
[11:54] Hijikata
It's Shocker HQ.
SIGN [Note: An Evil organization from the Kamen Rider series.
Shocker performs modification operations that
gives the subject superhuman fighting abilities.]
[11:55] Gintoki
Stop being stubborn and scram.
[11:57] Gintoki
Hey, what are you doing?
[11:59] Gintoki
Go home, please!
[12:00] Gintoki
I'll give you 300 yen.
[12:01] Hijikata
What's wrong with this guy?
Why doesn't he run?
[12:04] Gintoki
Get a clue!
[12:05] Gintoki
I can't leave until you do, fool!
[12:09] Nurse A
Could the next patients
please step inside.
[12:11] Nurse A
Two at a time.
[12:13] Hijikata
No way. You're kidding.
[12:15] Gintoki
Are we seriously going?
[12:17] Gintoki
Well, let's see how deep
that drill will go this time.
[12:22] Gintoki
Will it reach my soul?
[12:24] Gintoki
No! I don't wanna go!
[12:26] Gintoki
How would a drill reach my soul?!
[12:28] Gintoki
I have no idea what I'm saying!
[12:30] Hijikata
Why do people dig?
[12:32] Hijikata
Because they have drills.
[12:34] Hijikata
What was that?!
[12:36] Hijikata
Am I an idiot?! An idiot?!
[12:38] Hijikata
Stop pretending to be
a man and run for it!
[12:41] Gintoki
Hey! Somebody!
[12:43] Hijikata
Anybody!
[12:44] Both
Stop us!!
[12:49] Dr. Yabuta
Hello.
[12:51] Dr. Yabuta
I'm Yabuta of the Namu dental clinic.
[12:53] Dr. Yabuta
Sakata-san and Hijikata-san, right?
[12:55] Dr. Yabuta
I'll be taking care of you today.
[12:57] Dr. Yabuta
Don't be so nervous.
[13:00] Dr. Yabuta
It won't hurt.
[13:01] Dr. Yabuta
Well, just relax. C'mon, relax.
[13:06] Both
A-A crime scene?!
[13:09] Gintoki
Is a dental operation room supposed
to be this red?
[13:11] Gintoki
Wasn't it supposed to be whiter?
[13:13] Gintoki
All spic-and-span?
[13:15] Hijikata
Was dental care always so bloody?
[13:18] Hijikata
Weren't the instruments more compact?
[13:20] Hijikata
Was there a chainsaw involved?
[13:26] Both
Is this how going to
the dentist was like?!
[13:30] Dr. Yabuta
Well, you've both got
some swollen faces.
[13:33] Dr. Yabuta
Why did you leave it alone so long?
[13:35] Dr. Yabuta
That's no good.
[13:36] Dr. Yabuta
The mouth is like the
entrance to a human.
[13:40] Dr. Yabuta
Also the first step to
getting to know a person.
[13:43] Dr. Yabuta
You can judge a person by their teeth.
[13:48] Dr. Yabuta
Yeah, most people with
dirty teeth are slobs.
[13:51] Dr. Yabuta
People who keep their teeth clean
[13:53] ---
probably listened to their parents.
[13:56] Dr. Yabuta
Yep, that's why I always tell my
young patients the following.
[14:01] Dr. Yabuta
When you go on a group date, looks
and personality don't matter.
[14:05] Dr. Yabuta
Check their boobs first.
[14:08] Both
Doc, the door to your entrance
has fallen off its hinges...
[14:12] Dr. Yabuta
You can judge a person
after seeing their boobs.
[14:15] Hijikata
This Doc is terrible!
[14:16] Dr. Yabuta
Women with big areolae
on their breasts have big
[14:18] Hijikata
He's talking about boobs!
[14:20] Gintoki
The door's fallen loose,
[14:20] ---
hearts that are more
forgiving of adultery.
[14:21] Gintoki
and there's a toilet-like
smell coming out!
[14:24] Gintoki
Like Niwa-kun's place where you go
[14:26] ---
in the door and it smells like a toilet!
[14:27] Gintoki
The toilet is his entrance!
[14:30] Dr. Yabuta
And women with small areolae on
their breasts tend to be smothering.
[14:34] Dr. Yabuta
You've gotta be careful.
[14:35] Hijikata
Nobody would want to smother you!
[14:38] Dr. Yabuta
Areolae are the key to women.
[14:40] Dr. Yabuta
Nothing else matters.
[14:41] Gintoki
What kind of a group date would involve
looking at their areolae?!
[14:43] Gintoki
What kind of group date did you go to?!
[14:47] Dr. Yabuta
Okay...
[14:48] Dr. Yabuta
Let's get down to business.
[14:50] Dr. Yabuta
I'll have an assistant take
a quick look at you.
[14:53] Dr. Yabuta
Well, it's possible that my assistants
will be able to take care of you.
[14:57] Gintoki
G-Good... He's not doing the treatment.
[15:01] Dr. Yabuta
Hey! You two!
[15:04] ---
Yes!
[15:04] Nakayama
Yes.
[15:09] Dr. Yabuta
Nakayama-san and Battle
Fairy Shazzan-san.
[15:12] Dr. Yabuta
Which do you want?
[15:13] Gintoki
Nakayama-san!
[15:14] Hijikata
Definitely Nakayama-san!
[15:16] Gintoki
Anybody but Shazzan-san!
[15:18] Nakayama
Ooh, what to do?
[15:20] Nakayama
Which one do you like?
[15:21] Nakayama
I prefer the one with black hair.
[15:23] Hijikata
And what the hell is that?
[15:24] Hijikata
Why is Battle Fairy Shazzan
working in a dental clinic?!
[15:27] Hijikata
What the hell is Battle Fairy Shazzan?!
[15:28] Dr. Yabuta
Which do you want to look at you?
[15:30] Both
I want Nakayama-san!
[15:30] Both
I want Nakayama-san!
[15:32] Dr. Yabuta
Sakata-san was a little faster.
[15:35] Dr. Yabuta
Then Sakata-san will
have Nakayama-san.
[15:36] Hijikata
Wait!
[15:37] Hijikata
Uh, hold on!
[15:39] Gintoki
Right on...
[15:40] Gintoki
I dodged a bullet there.
[15:44] Nakayama
The name's Nakayama.
[15:45] Nakayama
I'll be taking care of you, Sakata-san.
[15:48] Gintoki
Y-You're Nakayama?!
[15:51] Gintoki
Wait!
[15:52] Gintoki
Hold on!
[15:53] Gintoki
You totally look like a
Battle Fairy Shazzan!
[15:55] Gintoki
You're obviously not Nakayama-san!
[15:58] Hijikata
Suck on that.
[16:00] Hijikata
I don't know what's going on,
[16:00] Hijikata
but I guess this lady was Battle
Fairy Shazzan-san.
[16:05] Hijikata
W-Well, I'm all yours, Shazzan-san.
[16:17] Shazzan
I am Battle Fairy Shazzan.
[16:19] Shazzan
I'll be taking care of you.
[16:21] Hijikata
Why?!
[16:24] Assistant
Well, Nakayama-san, Shazzan-san,
do your best.
[16:26] Both
Roger.
[16:27] Hijikata
So Nakayama-san and Shazzan-san
are both battle fairies?!
[16:31] Nakayama
Then, we shall explain this
[16:33] ---
clinic's system before we commence treatment.
[16:36] Gintoki
Before you do that, explain how you've
ended up as battle fairies!
[16:40] Shazzan
Our clinic will treat
your dental maladies,
[16:42] Shazzan
and also provide operating services
to prevent any future cavities.
[16:46] Hijikata
That's way beyond a dentist's job!
[16:49] Nakayama
Then we'll move on to an explanation
of your options.
[16:53] Nakayama
Option A provides
treatment of your cavity
[16:55] ---
and surgery to modify your body.
[16:57] Nakayama
Option B provides surgery
to modify your body
[16:59] ---
and comes with free drinks.
[17:01] Gintoki
Option B has nothing
to do with my teeth!
[17:04] Gintoki
Why are there free drinks?!
[17:06] Gintoki
Uh, excuse me.
[17:07] Gintoki
Isn't there an option that skips
[17:09] ---
the surgery
and gets my cavity treated?
[17:11] Nakayama
You'll save money by choosing Option A
[17:12] ---
instead of getting the treatment and surgery separately.
[17:16] Gintoki
No, I don't want the surgery.
[17:18] Gintoki
I just want to get this cavity treated!
[17:20] Nakayama
Then I would recommend
either Option Z or X.
[17:24] Gintoki
What are those?
[17:25] Nakayama
Option Z includes a massage when
you get your cavity treated.
[17:30] Nakayama
Option X includes a salad bar
when you get treatment.
[17:33] Gintoki
A-Ah, then I'll take Option Z.
[17:36] Nakayama
With the massage?
[17:38] Gintoki
Yea, whatever. That'll do.
[17:40] Nakayama
Roger.
[17:41] Gintoki
Whew... I managed to avoid the surgery.
[17:48] Betty
I'm Betty. I'll be taking
care of you, boss.
[17:52] Gintoki
They attached a massage girl!
[17:55] Gintoki
I ended up getting modified!
[17:57] Gintoki
And this has nothing to do
with preventing cavities!
[18:00] Gintoki
This thing has no intention
of doing its job!
[18:02] Gintoki
Couldn't they give me a higher
quality girl at least?!
[18:07] Nakayama
Allow me to explain.
[18:09] Nakayama
Pleasure Fort Betty and Sakata-san
[18:11] ---
have been neurologically connected,
[18:13] Nakayama
which means that the robot
Pleasure Fort Betty
[18:16] Nakayama
appears as an actual massage
girl to Sakata-san.
SIGN [In Actuality]
SIGN [Through Gintoki's Eyes]
[18:20] Nakayama
Our service is perfect.
[18:22] Hijikata
That was close!
[18:24] Hijikata
I was about to end up the same way!
[18:27] Hijikata
But I already learned
that I should think
[18:29] ---
carefully from the battle fairy deal.
[18:32] Hijikata
Option X!
[18:33] Hijikata
Treatment with a salad bar service.
[18:35] Hijikata
This is the right answer.
[18:37] Hijikata
Uh, I'll have Option X.
[18:41] Shazzan
Roger.
[18:42] Hijikata
No way you can attach
a salad bar to a body.
[18:46] Hijikata
Thanks. Your failure saved me
from making the same mistake.
SIGN [Note: "Baa" here is used to mean "old lady" not "bar"]
[18:57] Hijikata
Th-They gave me a Salad Baa!
[19:00] Hijikata
They got me!
SIGN [In Actuality]
[19:01] Hijikata
This is what they meant
by a "salad bar"?!
[19:03] Hijikata
And what's the point of this?!
[19:05] Hijikata
She's just sitting there eating salad!
SIGN [Through Hijikata's Eyes]
[19:07] Hijikata
And she's using dressing
instead of mayonnaise!
[19:10] Hijikata
This just sucks!
[19:11] Hijikata
I'll have to watch this old
lady eat salad without
[19:13] ---
mayo for the rest of my life?!
[19:16] Nakayama
Okay, that should take care
of the preparations.
[19:18] Gintoki
Preparations?!
[19:19] Gintoki
What could this possibly
prepare us for?!
[19:21] Shazzan
Then we'll begin the actual
treatment now.
[19:24] Hijikata
Treat my body before you treat my teeth!
[19:27] Hijikata
Give me back my original body!
[19:28] Nakayama
Open wide.
[19:30] Nakayama
Please relax.
[19:32] Nakayama
There's nothing to be scared of.
[19:34] Gintoki
You're damn scary!
[19:36] Shazzan
Open wide.
[19:38] Shazzan
Your face will be blown
off if it touches the drill.
[19:41] Hijikata
That huge-ass drill
can't fit in my mouth!
[19:48] Nakayama
Don't worry.
[19:49] Nakayama
The modifications mean that your body
[19:51] ---
will suffer less from the treatment.
[19:54] Shazzan
Well? There shouldn't be much pain.
[19:58] Gintoki
Now that you mention it...
[20:00] Hijikata
It doesn't hurt at all.
[20:02] Nakayama
Our clinic specializes in swift care,
[20:04] Nakayama
but that puts a heavier
burden on the patient.
[20:07] Shazzan
The surgery modifies
your body to cope with
[20:11] ---
the care and allow for safe treatment.
[20:15] Gintoki
Uh, safe?
[20:17] Gintoki
This stopped being safe when
you modified our bodies!
[20:20] Both
Hold on a second...
[20:23] Both
Is all the damage being
shifted over to them?!
[20:26] Shazzan
They bear most of the pain,
so relax as we treat you.
SIGN [Through Hijikata's Eyes]
[20:31] Hijikata
Uh, that's no ordinary pain.
[20:34] Hijikata
It's pretty hard to relax
while that's going on.
SIGN [In Actuality]
[20:37] Nakayama
If it weren't for them, you would
be feeling even more pain.
SIGN [Through Gintoki's Eyes]
[20:41] Gintoki
So we don't feel any pain,
[20:43] ---
but whatever's happening
to our body causes that much pain?
SIGN [In Actuality]
[20:45] Gintoki
Is that okay?! Huh?!
SIGN [Through Gintoki's Eyes]
[20:46] Gintoki
No! Stop!
[20:48] Gintoki
Don't look at me like that!
SIGN [In Actuality]
[20:50] Gintoki
What? Is it my fault?!
[20:51] Gintoki
Was I wrong?!
SIGN [Through Hijikata's Eyes]
[20:53] Hijikata
This isn't my fault.
SIGN [In Actuality]
[20:55] Hijikata
Yeah, I have nothing to do with this!
[20:58] Gintoki
Huh? What is this?
[21:00] Gintoki
I've got this weird image in my mind.
[21:03] Gintoki
Hey! What is this?
[21:04] Gintoki
Like my life is flashing before my eyes?
[21:06] Gintoki
Or is this Betty's life?
[21:08] Gintoki
And what's with the fake memories?!
[21:11] Gintoki
I don't remember anything
like that happening!
[21:13] Gintoki
Stop! Don't show me that creepy stuff!
[21:15] Gintoki
I didn't do anything wrong!
[21:16] Gintoki
This has nothing to do with me!
[21:17] Gintoki
I'm the one who was modified
and getting screwed!
[21:21] Hijikata
Huh? What is this?
[21:22] Hijikata
Strange images are flowing
into my mind.
[21:26] Hijikata
Hey, are these flashbacks...?
[21:28] Hijikata
The salad old lady's life is
flashing before my eyes?!
[21:30] Hijikata
And she has no actual memories!
[21:32] Hijikata
It's all about vegetables!
[21:34] Hijikata
Are you okay with this?!
[21:36] Hijikata
Dying without any decent memories...
[21:37] Hijikata
No, I want to get my cavity treated.
[21:40] Hijikata
I don't give a damn about
a salad old lady!
[21:43] Both
It's not my fault! It's not my
fault! It's not my fault!
[21:47] Both
It's not my fault! It's not my
fault! It's not my fault!
[21:50] Both
Yeah!
[21:51] Both
We didn't do anything...
[21:53] Both
WROOOOOONG!!
[21:58] Nurse B
Um, excuse me.
[22:00] Nurse B
This isn't a dental clinic.
[22:04] Gintoki
I know.
[22:05] Nurse B
Well, you obviously have cavities.
[22:08] Nurse B
You should go see a dentist.
[22:10] Hijikata
We don't care about the cavities.
[22:12] Hijikata
It'll rot and fall out soon enough.
[22:14] Nurse B
Then why are you here?
[22:19] Both
Please fix her...
[22:19] Both
Please fix her...
[22:21] ---
[23:55] Kagura
Good job on the storyboard, gorilla.
[23:58] Kagura
What? You hurt yourself celebrating last week?
[24:02] Kagura
Yeah, I'm not saying a word.
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