364 - Two in Girl Years Is Equal to Ten in Man Years

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Watch the Silver Soul arc in a bright
    room and at a safe distance from the TV!!!!!!!
[00:05] Mut
    Take it and go.
[00:06] Mut
    We got our hands on the
    ultimate weapon as ordered.
[00:12] Mut
    As far as I know, this
    is the ultimate weapon.
[00:16] ???
    Huh... So this is Earth, Mommy's other home?
[00:22] Mut
    Kagura's daughter,
[00:25] Mut
    Kanna.
[00:26] Gin
    That's weird.
[00:28] Gin
    I don't remember there
    being a grave out here.
[00:35] Tak
    Only a specter can grab
    another specter's hand.
[00:40] Tak
    Would you like to hop over to this side, too?
[00:44] ???
    What's this?
[00:46] ???
    I asked for a weapon to kill
    the prime minister with,
[00:50] ???
    not something else for me to kill.
[00:58] ???
    You can't tell if a weapon's
    any good until you use it.
[01:02] ???
    Show me, Odd Jobs...
[01:04] ???
    what you've done these
    past two years!
[01:06] Shin
    O-Okita-san?!
[01:11] Shin
    Hey, Okita-san!
[01:13] Shin
    Wait!
[01:14] Shin
    Time out! Time out!
[01:15] Oki
    Wow. You've gotten a bit better, huh?
[01:21] G
    Okita-san! If you wanna
    fight, take it elsewhere!
[01:24] Shin
    You guys!
[01:26] Shin
    Wasn't the Shinsengumi disbanded?
[01:28] Shin
    And wasn't Okita-san forced
    to commit seppuku?!
[01:30] Oki
    Yeah. The Shinsengumi died, and so did I.
[01:34] Oki
    We weren't needed in this
    peaceful world, apparently.
[01:37] Oki
    But there's still a bunch of pests in this
    country who threaten that peace,
[01:43] Oki
    so we were reborn as a group that kills
    them in the new government's stead:
[01:50] Oki
    the Japanese Office of Homeland Security's
    Department of Environmental Control...
[01:56] Oki
    Damn, that's long.
[01:58] Oki
    Just call us the mafia.
[01:59] Shi
    So in the end, you're just mafia?!
[02:00] Kan
    Hey, how long are you
    gonna keep up this farce?
[02:04] Shin
    This is dangerous, Kanna-chan! Stay back!
[02:06] Kan
    What about him is dangerous?
[02:09] Kan
    He's got no bloodlust,
    and his strikes are slow.
[02:11] Kan
    Each hit couldn't be more light.
[02:16] Shin
    Kanna-chan?!
[02:19] Kan
    Looks like you were finally
    out to kill with that one.
[02:22] Oki
    How amusing.
SIGN    Gintama
SIGN    Silver Soul
SIGN    Silver Soul Arc
SIGN    Two in Girl Years
    Is Equal to Ten in Man Years
[04:03] G
    Hmm... A one-eyed samurai?
[04:06] G
    Sorry. Can't say I recognize him.
[04:11] W
    He does seem somewhat familiar.
[04:13] W
    Don't tell anyone we said that, please.
[04:16] W
    Cripes, that's scary.
[04:18] W
    What? Did this guy do something bad?
[04:21] W
    I'm sure he did.
[04:22] W
    Murder? Drugs? Et cetera?
[04:24] W
    It's gotta be the et cetera, right?
    He totally looks like the et cetera sort.
[04:27] W
    Hey, y'all. Have you seen this samurai?
[04:30] W
    He's done et cetera,
    apparently. That's so scary.
[04:32] W
    No idea. I've never seen
    a face anything like that.
[04:35] W
    Oh, but I did see a samurai earlier.
[04:37] W
    Think it was on the street that-a-way.
[04:43] G
    Why, you...
[04:45] G
    You walk into us and don't even apologize?
[04:48] G
    And what's with that smug look?
[04:49] G
    Draw that thing on your waist!
[04:53] G
    What a coward.
[04:55] G
    I bet your sword down there
    can't satisfy a woman, either.
[05:02] Hen
    I hate to break it to you,
[05:04] Hen
    but my goal is to lead all ladies,
    young and old, to happiness.
[05:09] Hen
    That's what a feminist
    wields his sword for—
[05:12] G
    H-Hey, bro, that guy's ours.
[05:15] G
    Um, don't you think you're going too far?
[05:19] G
    Th-This bitch is packing heat!
[05:21] ---
    Shit! Beat it, quick!
[05:23] Mat
    Finally, we've got a lead.
[05:26] Mat
    White Yaksha...
[05:29] Mat
    Is Shinsuke-sama alive?
[05:34] Mat
    Then, Shinsuke-sama is...
[05:36] Gin
    He ain't dead.
[05:39] Gin
    But I don't know if I can
    call him alive, either.
[05:43] Mat
    That's not important.
[05:45] Mat
    I'm just glad to know he's
    still alive, no matter how.
[05:49] Gin
    Anyway, what are you planning
    to do after you find Takasugi?
[05:53] Hen
    The Kiheitai aren't done yet.
[05:56] Hen
    We'll simply help him achieve
    whatever his goal is.
[06:00] Gin
    Don't bother.
[06:03] Gin
    He's probably acting solely
    for himself right now.
[06:08] Gin
    If you show up now, he'll be forced to stop.
[06:14] Gin
    Otherwise, he'd never have left you behind.
[06:19] Gin
    If you're okay with that,
    too, then suit yourselves.
[06:25] Gin
    In reality, that's probably the right answer.
[06:28] Gin
    Later!
[06:34] Gin
    Hey, pops.
[06:37] Gin
    I'm in the mood for a drink.
    Get me something with that money.
[06:45] Mat
    White Yaksha!
[06:49] Mat
    Who the hell are those guys?
[07:00] Mat
    White Yaksha!
[07:04] Gin
    Stay away!
[07:05] Gin
    Crap! Please help me!
[07:08] Mat
    What happened to "Stay away"?!
[07:10] Hen
    I've heard that the White
    Yaksha has a weakness.
[07:15] Hen
    When he was a child, he was cursed by a
    strange fruit and became unable to swim.
[07:20] Mat
    What? He gets a new trait
    this late in the story?!
[07:23] Mat
    Don't tell me that fruit was...
[07:25] Hen
    Indeed.
[07:26] Hen
    He tried to split a watermelon using
    the scent of its sugar content alone,
[07:30] Hen
    nearly drowned, became unable to swim, and
    gained a sloppy, rubbery persona instead.
[07:36] Mat
    Uh, the fruit had nothing to do with that!
    He's just a good-for-nothing who can't swim!
[07:49] Gin
    Dammit! I can't hold out any longer!
[08:18] Gin
    Heya,
[08:19] Gin
    mastermind.
[08:22] Gin
    Did you come to get a bird's-eye
    view, like a typical mastermind?
[08:26] Gin
    You're rather close to the ground, though.
[08:28] Gin
    Try wearing some high heels
    or something, Teeny-Weeny-kun.
[08:33] Tak
    If I were the mastermind,
    I wouldn't screw up like this.
[08:36] Tak
    I wouldn't screw up and get on
    Takasugi Shinsuke's bad side.
[08:40] Tak
    Hand over what you've got in your pocket.
[08:43] Tak
    I never expected you'd have it.
[08:47] Tak
    No wonder they're so desperate.
[08:50] Tak
    As long as you have that thing, they'll
    chase you to the ends of the world.
[08:55] Tak
    So give it to me and let
    us specters handle it.
[08:58] Mat
    Shinsuke-sama!
[09:00] Gin
    Why not say something to them, too?
[09:03] Gin
    Something like, "don't follow me,"
    or even "forget about me."
[09:07] Gin
    Or wait, are you the one who
    can't forget about them?
[09:10] Gin
    I don't think you'll get
    very far like that...
[09:15] Gin
    What the hell are you doing?
[09:17] Gin
    When Gin-san's speaking with a serious face,
[09:19] Gin
    not even villains should interrupt him!
    Don't you know that unspoken rule?!
[09:23] Tak
    If you won't wash your hands of this,
    I'll just take the thing after you drown.
[09:27] Gin
    Wait, wait! What thing?!
[09:29] Gin
    The porn you lent me when we were kids?
[09:31] Gin
    I'll give it back!
[09:32] Gin
    Was it Erotopia? Temple Babes?
[09:34] Gin
    Wait, you liked the amateur
    stuff, didn't you?
[09:37] Tak
    I don't remember ever lending
    or borrowing crap like that.
[09:39] Gin
    Oh, right! You must've let me have it!
[09:41] Gin
    You were a rich boy, after all.
[09:43] Gin
    Then, the NES cartridges I lost...
[09:44] Tak
    Give back my Portopia Serial Murder Case.
[09:46] Gin
    Portopia was a loan, though?!
[09:48] Gin
    You played Portopia?!
[09:50] Tak
    It's all too late, Gintoki.
[09:53] Tak
    Looks like we can't turn back or
    look back on the past anymore.
[09:58] Tak
    Well, I guess there'd be nothing
    to say, even if we did look back.
[10:04] Mat
    Shinsuke-sama!
[10:33] Gin
    Takasugi! You bastard!
[10:36] Tak
    Relax. Even if you die, I won't
    let them have the thing.
[10:40] Tak
    I'll keep it much safer than you ever could.
[10:42] Gin
    Safer?!
[10:43] Gin
    As if a delusional punk who was
    talking about destroying the world
[10:46] Gin
    could ever keep Portopia safe!
[10:47] Tak
    I'm not talking about Portopia!
[10:49] Gin
    Don't get cocky just because
    you can swim a little.
[10:52] Gin
    With my ability to sink like a stone, I can
    easily pull you to the bottom of this river!
[10:57] Tak
    Is that something to be proud of?
[10:58] Gin
    Ow, ow! Water up my nose!
[11:00] Gin
    You'll pay for this!
[11:01] Tak
    Hand it over already!
[11:13] Gin
    Get 'em!
[11:17] Hij
    Squad 3, evacuate the residents!
[11:20] Hij
    Squads 1 and 2, hurry to the scene!
[11:23] Ymz
    Vice Chief!
[11:24] Hij
    Yamazaki! Sitrep!
[11:26] Ymz
    Not many losses in the city center!
[11:28] Hij
    Uh, aren't you causing the most losses?
[11:32] Ymz
    All those who had collapsed
    seem to be Naraku.
[11:35] Ymz
    They were probably done in by the two
    samurai mentioned in the witness reports.
[11:39] Hij
    Two samurai?
[11:41] Hij
    It's gotta be them!
[11:46] Gin
    We've both gone really downhill, huh?
[11:48] Gin
    You're only supposed to have someone
    trustworthy watch your back.
[11:53] Gin
    But we've both got the most untrustworthy
    bastard in the world behind us.
[11:57] Tak
    Don't worry, Gintoki.
[12:00] Tak
    I'm ready to turn around at any moment.
[12:04] Tak
    I'm not against killing you to help myself.
[12:08] Tak
    Don't you think we stand here right now
    because we don't hold back with each other?
[12:16] Tak
    But the annoying lapdogs
    will come sniffing soon.
[12:21] Hij
    Those guys!
[12:23] Tak
    Look offshore.
[12:26] Tak
    I have a ship ready.
    Come with me if you want to.
[12:30] Tak
    Our methods may differ, but it
    seems your goal's the same as mine.
[12:35] Tak
    In that case, you should
    exploit me for all I'm worth.
[12:40] Tak
    Or else you won't be able
    to keep this thing safe.
[12:44] Gin
    Why, you... Was it back then?
[12:47] Tak
    Well, that's only if you
    can swim all the way there.
[12:50] Gin
    Takasugi, you bastard!
[12:59] Shin
    A-Amazing.
[13:02] Kan
    Are you done now?
[13:04] Oki
    Now I see how it is.
[13:08] Oki
    But while this may be enough to kill
    Katsura, I don't know about the others!
[13:13] Kan
    Others?
[13:15] Oki
    We didn't call for you guys.
[13:18] Oki
    We need the boss's help in case
    an enemy we can't take shows up!
[13:25] Oki
    Sakata Gintoki.
[13:28] Oki
    What's wrong?
[13:31] Oki
    Your movements suddenly got sloppy.
[13:34] Oki
    Wait a second.
[13:36] Oki
    Is your father...
[13:38] Kan
    Like hell!
[13:40] Shin
    That's enough!
[13:42] Shin
    I will not let you sully the
    name of Odd Jobs anymore.
[13:45] Shin
    He... Gin-san...
[13:48] Shin
    He ate so many sweets, he's impo—
[13:50] Kan
    What are you even talking about?!
[13:52] Kan
    I didn't come here to
    bring Odd Jobs back!
[13:56] Kan
    If that's what you want, try someone else!
[13:59] Oki
    What are you saying?
[14:00] Oki
    If you wanna be hands-off about it,
    try ripping these hands off by force!
[14:04] Kan
    You don't have to tell me.
[14:06] Kan
    That's my plan!
[14:08] Oki
    Do you really think you can
    shake me off like that?
[14:12] Shin
    Look, I'll ignore the fact that
    you're using me as a weapon!
[14:16] Shin
    Please just hit the target!
[14:20] Oki
    68.20 meters.
[14:21] Shin
    When did the rules change?
[14:24] Oki
    I haven't felt these
    goosebumps in a long time.
[14:28] Kan
    Huh? What the heck are you talking about?
[14:30] Oki
    I fought your mom like this all the time.
[14:33] Shin
    I don't understand the rules!
[14:35] Oki
    We crossed swords more often
    than we exchanged words.
[14:38] Oki
    But, at times, swords speak
    much louder than words!
[14:42] Shin
    Are you even competing anymore?!
[14:44] Oki
    One fight is all I need
    to see through your lies.
[14:50] Kan
    I don't really get it, but okay.
[14:53] Shin
    No need for the nom nom time!
[14:56] Oki
    Your mom's already here, right?
[15:00] Oki
    I thought she'd show up at once
    if I hurt her daughter a little.
[15:04] Oki
    But I can't hold back any longer. Don't
    you care what happens to your daughter?
[15:09] Kan
    Who are you even talking to?!
[15:14] Oki
    Call her.
[15:15] Oki
    "Mom, help me!"
[15:18] Shin
    Kanna-chan!
[15:20] Oki
    Actually, he might be more
    effective bait than the daughter.
[15:31] Shin
    K-Kanna-chan?
[15:33] Oki
    Wrong.
[15:35] Oki
    Looks like she's finally back...
[15:38] Oki
    That stubborn girl.
[15:39] Shin
    Wait, could it be...
[15:43] Shin
    Something unbalanced showed up!
[16:06] Oki
    Yo.
[16:08] Oki
    Welcome back.
[16:14] Shin
    K-Kanna-chan.
[16:17] Shin
    Are you...
[16:19] Oki
    She never existed in the first place.
[16:22] Oki
    That's not her daughter or her clone.
[16:28] Oki
    It's just her.
[16:31] Kag
    I see you're still the same old jerk.
[16:34] Kag
    Said your prayers yet?
[16:37] Oki
    Prayers for what?
[16:39] Oki
    You haven't changed, either.
[16:44] Oki
    Same lousy follow-through.
[17:04] Shin
    Kagura-chan.
[17:05] Shin
    Or should I call you Kanna-chan instead?
[17:09] Shin
    I don't mind either way.
[17:11] Shin
    Just the fact that you returned to Earth...
[17:14] Shin
    Oh, it wouldn't be a return
    for Kanna-chan, would it?
[17:18] Kag
    You haven't changed at all, Shinpachi.
[17:20] Kag
    Still needlessly looking out for others.
[17:24] Kag
    I was a fool.
[17:26] Kag
    You don't have to call me Kanna anymore.
[17:29] Kag
    Granny Kagura will do.
[17:31] Shin
    It wasn't Kagura-chan or Kanna-chan!
[17:34] Kag
    I used a bit too much power.
[17:37] Kag
    I'm going to lie down for a bit, Michiko-san.
[17:41] Kag
    Hup.
[17:43] Shin
    Who the hell is Michiko-san?!
[17:44] Shin
    First a little girl, and now an old bag?
    What's going on with you, Granny Kagura?
[17:47] Kag
    Let's see... I think it was
    around thirty years ago.
[17:53] Shin
    You haven't lived that long, Granny Kagura!
[17:56] Kag
    Back then, I was a bombshell
    babe and so popular on Earth,
[18:01] Kag
    I got sick of the attention and left.
[18:05] Shin
    Don't give yourself fake
    memories, Granny Kagura.
[18:06] Kag
    And so began my journey to turn my
    beloved dog, Rogers, back to normal.
[18:14] Shin
    Don't forget your beloved
    dog's name, Granny Kagura!
[18:16] Kag
    But I couldn't find a way to
    turn Bolognese back to normal.
[18:21] Shin
    Keep the name consistent, Granny Kagura.
[18:24] Kag
    As I went from planet to planet, from
    one harsh environment to another,
[18:28] Kag
    my body couldn't keep up.
[18:31] Kag
    That's when he appeared in front of me.
[18:36] (Flashback) G
    ZZ? Z, Z?
[18:38] Shin
    Huh? What's this?
[18:38] (Flashback) G
    ZZZZ...
[18:39] Shin
    Who's that? What's he saying?
[18:41] (Flashback) Kag
    ZZZZ? ZZ!
[18:43] Shin
    Oh, you can speak it, too?
    What language is this, even?
[18:43] (Flashback) Kag
    ZZZZZ, ZZZ.
[18:45] Kag
    Zzzzz...
[18:48] Shin
    Hey, gran. What's that thing
    coming out of your nose?
[18:52] Shin
    Can I burst it? Will you keep going if I do?
[18:56] Kag
    That's how I ended up with this body.
[18:59] Shin
    You zzz'd through the most important part!
[19:01] Kag
    But all my efforts were in vain.
[19:06] Kag
    In the end, I couldn't change a thing.
[19:13] Kag
    I talked a big game and left
    Earth, but achieved nothing.
[19:21] Kag
    How was I supposed to come
    back and face everyone?
[19:26] Kag
    Hey, tell me!
[19:28] Shin
    Not with that face, at least.
[19:32] Kag
    Now that I've rested a bit,
    I've mostly gone back to normal.
[19:35] Shin
    Your face looks like Baron Ashura's, though!
[19:40] Shin
    Kagura-chan.
[19:42] Shin
    You have nothing to feel bad about.
[19:44] Shin
    You took on our feelings and went
    on a journey to save Sadaharu.
[19:50] Shin
    Odd Jobs didn't disband because of you.
[19:54] Shin
    Even if you hadn't left,
    I think he would have...
[19:58] Oki
    Vanished?
[20:00] Oki
    Then maybe the boss really
    did know all along...
[20:05] Oki
    that he was still alive, too.
[20:08] Shin
    Who do you mean?
[20:14] G
    Boss, you okay?
[20:17] Tak
    Sorry. I kept you waiting.
[20:20] G
    No problem! Anything to help
    the hero Takasugi Shinsuke!
[20:26] G
    Weigh anchor!
[20:27] Tak
    Hold on.
[20:33] Tak
    There's no way he'd come, huh?
[20:37] Tak
    I guess this is where we part forever.
[20:39] Tak
    Takechi, Matako, forgive me.
[20:48] Gin
    Give it back.
[20:50] Tak
    How did you get here?
[20:51] Gin
    Isn't that obvious?
[20:53] Gin
    Since I can't swim, I just walked.
[20:58] Tak
    Looks like you've seen far
    more carnage than I have.
[21:03] Tak
    I guess you need to be ready for that if
    you want to carry something so dangerous.
[21:10] Tak
    Where did you get it?
[21:11] Gin
    I was looking for something else, actually.
[21:15] Gin
    This is just a byproduct
    I found during the process.
[21:19] Gin
    The famous sweet shop Enshichi's
    specialty bean-jam mochi.
[21:22] Tak
    Not that!
[21:23] Gin
    What was that for? I'd been
    saving it to relish the taste!
[21:27] Gin
    Wow, they're yummy even
    when eaten with my eyes!
[21:28] Tak
    What the hell are you making me steal?
[21:31] Gin
    Huh? Didn't you wanna try them, too?
[21:34] Gin
    Oh, then how about this Kyoto specialty—
[21:36] Tak
    Not that, either!
[21:37] Gin
    How could you tell before seeing it?!
[21:40] Tak
    As if you'd get people like that
    on your tail over tourist food!
[21:42] Gin
    What if the rest of the sentence had been
    "Yoshioka Riho covered in yatsuhashi"?
[21:47] Gin
    Can I eat her? Can I eat her
    along with the yatsuhashi?
[21:49] Tak
    Sure. Get diarrhea and die.
[21:53] Tak
    You've already got it, haven't you?
[22:00] Tak
    Utsuro's...
[22:03] Tak
    Yoshida Shoyo's heart.
SIGN    Preview
[23:40] Gin
    I found something I needed to do
    as Shoka Sonjuku's Sakata Gintoki.
[23:46] Tak
    If you wanna save him, go ahead.
[23:47] Tak
    You can do that now.
SIGN    Silver Soul Arc
SIGN    Salvation
SIGN    The path Gintoki walked these past two years,
SIGN    and the path Takasugi walked these past two years...
SIGN    They converge into one point.
SIGN    And their teacher's existence once again...