E152 - “The Heavens Created Chonmage Above Man Instead of Another Man.”

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    [New TV Show]
[00:04] Shinpachi
    The land of the host.
SIGN    [Note: Spoof of Episode 3]
[00:06] Shinpachi
    There was a time, long ago, when our town was called by that name.
[00:11] Shinpachi
    Those dream-filled Shinjuku skies upon which Japanese hosts once gazed upon their dreams...
[00:15] Shinpachi
    are now filled with words by hosts from foreign countries.
[00:18] Shinpachi
    However, there were two men.
[00:22] Shinpachi
    The enigmatic vagrant, Gintoki Sakata
[00:25] Shinpachi
    and the former number one host, Shinpachi Buttchin.
[00:30] Shinpachi
    The two of them still run in this corrupt night town.
SIGN    [Kintama]
SIGN    [Episode 2]
[00:41] Shinpachi
    The man with fluttering golden hair
[00:46] Shinpachi
    glided through the city
[00:50] Shinpachi
    as though he were the Golden Knight.
SIGN    [Note: Gin is called the White Knight in regular Gin Tama.]
[00:57] Shinpachi
    Gin-san, I beg of you!
[00:58] Shinpachi
    Aim for the top with me!
[01:03] Gintoki
    Hopeless fool.
[01:05] Gintoki
    I'll dance with you, Shinpachi.
[01:08] Kagura
    What a pain.
[01:11] Kagura
    This place is like a cesspool.
[01:13] Shinpachi
    Who are you?
[01:17] Kagura
    Kagura.
[01:19] Kagura
    I command you.
[01:21] Kagura
    Swear fealty to me.
[01:24] Kagura
    If you do, I'll grant your wishes.
[01:31] Shinpachi
    The men do not realize they are dancing on thin ice.
[01:41] Kondo
    What?
[01:43] Kondo
    That's fine.
[01:45] Kondo
    Climb up if you can!
[01:48] Shinpachi
    And the women sharpen their red nails.
[01:56] Shinpachi
    The wheel of fate is rusty.
[02:00] Shinpachi
    It doesn't move until it's too late.
[02:07] Zurako
    Dance a waltz for me...
SIGN    [Note: This is Zurako, or crossdressing Katsura.]
[02:12] Zurako
    I eagerly await the show...
[02:16] Shinpachi
    Yes.
[02:17] Shinpachi
    Nobody could have predicted
[02:20] Shinpachi
    that Buttchin here would play a critical role in the conclusion of this story...
[02:29] All Three
    The butt of the story.
SIGN    [To Be Continued]
[04:04] Gintoki
    Yo! I'm Gintoki!
[04:06] Gintoki
    This week, we will be called "Gin Tama Kai"
SIGN    [Note: "Kai" means "Revised." This is a parody of the new Dragon Ball Kai anime.]
[04:08] Gintoki
    and show a re-edited director's cut, 16:9 HD remastered version of the infamous episode 151!
[04:16] Gintoki
    So here's "Gin Tama Kai!"
[04:18] Gintoki
    Enjoy yourselves!
[04:19] Shinpachi
    Hey!
[04:20] Shinpachi
    What do you mean, that infamous episode 151?!
[04:22] Shinpachi
    That's the episode that aired last week!
[04:24] Shinpachi
    And isn't this just a summary of the previous episode?!
[04:26] Shinpachi
    You don't need to make chancy references every other line!
[04:28] Shinpachi
    And it's 16:9 because the top and bottom were chopped off!
[04:32] Gintoki
    I'm all excited!
SIGN    [Note: From Dragon Ball anime.]
[04:34] Shinpachi
    I'm not!
[04:36] Matsudaira
    Oh, are you there?
[04:38] Matsudaira
    Sorry I'm late.
[04:39] Matsudaira
    I came to return volume 7 of Abu-san.
[04:42] Matsudaira
    Eh? He's not here?
[04:44] Shinpachi
    Tha-
[04:45] Gintoki
    That's...
[04:47] Shogun
    Katakuriko, what is this place?
[04:48] Matsudaira
    Hmm? The barbershop I frequent.
[04:52] Matsudaira
    I was going to introduce you to my buddy, but he doesn't seem to be here.
[04:56] Shinpachi
    Th-That's...
[04:58] Gintoki
    That's...
SIGN    ["The heavens created Chonmage above man instead of another man."]
SIGN    
[05:07] Shogun
    Fascinating.
[05:10] Shogun
    Will you do my hair in a mage?
[05:15] Shinpachi
    Th-That's...
[05:19] Gintoki And Shinpachi
    That's...
[05:24] Gintoki And Shinpachi
    Sh-Shogun?!
SIGN    [Note: Shogun = General.]
[05:28] Shinpachi
    I could never forget that dignified face!
[05:31] Shinpachi
    That elegant bearing!
[05:33] Shinpachi
    That humble penis!
[05:35] Shinpachi
    Wh-Why?!
[05:37] Shinpachi
    Why is the Shogun in such a filthy place?!
[05:40] Shogun
    Will you do my hair in a mage?
[05:43] Matsudaira
    Eh? You want a mage done?
[05:45] Matsudaira
    Here?
[05:46] Matsudaira
    What about hitting the hostess bar?
[05:47] Matsudaira
    You're not coming?
[05:48] Gintoki
    Is this old guy still taking the Shogun around and teaching him the wrong things?!
[05:54] Shogun
    I shall return this to the owner for you.
[05:58] Shogun
    Go on ahead and have a drink.
[06:00] Matsudaira
    Eh?
[06:01] Shogun
    I do not disguise myself as a commoner and roam the streets to indulge in pleasure.
[06:08] Shogun
    My purpose is to learn the lifestyle of the commoners of Edo.
[06:11] Shogun
    One who leads must understand how those below feel.
[06:16] Shogun
    This is a perfect opportunity.
[06:17] Shinpachi
    No, no, no, no, no, no, leave!
[06:19] Matsudaira
    Eh?
[06:20] Matsudaira
    Seriously?
[06:21] Matsudaira
    You're going to get your hair cut here?
[06:24] Gintoki
    Like we're going to shave the Shogun's head!
[06:26] Gintoki
    Please leave!
[06:28] Matsudaira
    You've got odd tastes.
[06:30] Matsudaira
    Then I'll head to the usual place.
[06:34] Matsudaira
    Come when you're done.
[06:35] Shinpachi
    Wait!
[06:36] Shinpachi
    Take him with you!
[06:37] Shinpachi
    You're going to run off to a hostess bar and leave the Shogun here all alone?!
[06:40] Matsudaira
    Well, nobody will recognize you in that costume.
[06:44] Matsudaira
    You shouldn't need any bodyguards.
[06:45] Gintoki
    No, he needs them!
[06:46] Gintoki
    You're in one hell of a hurry to get to your hostess bar, old guy!
[06:49] Matsudaira
    Then say "Hello" to him for me.
[06:51] Gintoki
    Hey, wait up!
[06:52] Gintoki
    Perverted old man!
[07:06] Shogun
    Then, I'm in your hands.
[07:20] Gintoki
    Wh-What do we do?
[07:23] Shinpachi
    What are we supposed to do?!
[07:25] Gintoki And Shinpachi
    Cut the Shogun's hair!
[07:28] Gintoki
    No, no, no, no!
[07:29] Gintoki
    Not happening. Not happening. Not happening.
[07:30] Shinpachi
    Wait, Shogun-sama!
[07:32] Shinpachi
    We aren't even barbers!
[07:37] Shinpachi
    What are we going to do, Gin-san?!
[07:39] Shinpachi
    What should we do?!
[07:40] Gintoki
    How would I know?!
[07:41] Gintoki
    Don't expect me to know the answer to everything!
[07:44] Gintoki
    There are things I don't know!
[07:47] Gintoki
    There are times when I want to cry!
[07:48] Gintoki
    There are times when I want to run away!
[07:49] Gintoki
    That's why I said to run for it!
[07:51] Gintoki
    The two of you had to dawdle around!
[07:54] Gintoki
    What do we do?
[07:56] Gintoki
    Forget running away...
[07:57] Gintoki
    If we screw up his haircut...
[08:03] Gintoki
    All three of us will lose our heads.
[08:07] Shinpachi
    Oboroshaa!!
SIGN    [Note: Puking sound.]
[08:08] Gintoki
    He puked?!
[08:10] Shinpachi
    I'm sorry...
[08:11] Shinpachi
    I was so nervous my gag reflex kicked in.
[08:14] Shinpachi
    I can't go on any longer.
[08:15] Gintoki
    Why are you trying to back out by yourself already?!
[08:18] Gintoki
    Get a grip!
[08:19] Kagura
    Pathetic.
[08:21] Kagura
    Doesn't matter if he's the Shogun or whatever.
[08:23] Kagura
    The hair on his head is the same as everybody else's.
[08:27] Kagura
    I'll go.
[08:28] Kagura
    W-Welcome.
[08:30] Gintoki
    Whoa! There she goes!
[08:32] Gintoki
    Impressive!
[08:33] Kagura
    How would you like your hair done today?
[08:36] Kagura
    A crew cut?
[08:37] Kagura
    Parted in the front?
[08:39] Kagura
    A mushroo-
[08:39] Kagura
    Mugoshuroro!
SIGN    [Note: Puking sound.]
[08:42] Gin
    Okay!
[08:42] Gin
    One, two, three!
[08:43] Gin
    What are you doing?!
[08:44] Gin
    Do you want to die?!
[08:45] Kagura
    The smell from Shinpachi got to me.
[08:48] Kagura
    It got the better of me.
[08:49] Gintoki
    Don't you give me that!
[08:51] Gintoki
    What if you had barfed on him?!
[08:53] Shinpachi
    Don't worry.
[08:54] Shinpachi
    We're barely okay.
[08:56] Shinpachi
    The Shogun is...
[08:58] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[08:59] Shinpachi
    Did the Shogun have a mark on his forehead?
[09:01] Shinpachi
    Looks like a naruto...
SIGN    [Note: Naruto is a fishcake usually on top of ramen.]
[09:04] Kagura
    Ah, from the ramen I had for lunch...
[09:06] Kagura
    I should have digested that.
[09:08] Gintoki
    That's not the issue here!
[09:10] Gintoki
    What do we do?
[09:11] Gintoki
    It's stuck to his forehead.
[09:13] Gintoki
    That's as bad as if he had "meat" written on his forehead!
SIGN    [Note: From Kinniku-man (Ultimate Muscle) by Yude Tamago.]
[09:16] Shinpachi
    This is bad!
[09:16] Shinpachi
    The Shogun's staring at the mirror!
[09:18] Gintoki
    Cover it up!
[09:19] Gintoki
    Somebody cover it up!
[09:21] Gintoki
    O-Oh?
[09:23] Gintoki
    Hey! Who drew a naruto on the mirror?!
[09:27] Shinpachi
    Ah, sorry!
[09:29] Shinpachi
    That would be me!
[09:29] Gintoki
    You want me to kill you?!
[09:31] Gintoki
    So sorry, sir.
[09:33] Gintoki
    Don't worry.
[09:34] Gintoki
    This is just something on the mirror.
[09:37] Gintoki
    You'd better wipe the mirror off!
[09:39] Shinpachi
    Yes!
[09:40] Gintoki
    I'm really very sorry.
[09:41] Gintoki
    I'm always telling him off, really.
[09:45] Gintoki
    Ah, I'm going to steam your face now.
[09:47] Gintoki
    Honestly...
[09:49] Gintoki
    These young ones never learn.
[09:53] Gintoki
    Young people these days quit the second you scold them.
[09:56] Gintoki
    They slack off the moment you aren't looking.
[09:57] Gintoki
    What a worthless bunch.
[09:59] Gintoki
    Then how do you want your hair cut today?
[10:05] Shogun
    In that case, could you redo my mage?
[10:08] Gintoki
    Ah, yes. Understood.
[10:10] Gintoki
    Then I'll shave your face while I'm shaving your forehead.
[10:14] Shogun
    Yes, please.
[10:16] Gintoki
    Why?!
[10:17] Gintoki
    Then!
[10:17] Gintoki
    Then I'll need you to lie down for now.
[10:19] Gintoki
    Please keep your eyes closed.
[10:21] Gintoki
    This is bad!
[10:22] Gintoki
    I can't get the naruto off!
[10:24] Gintoki
    Like it doesn't want to come off!
[10:25] Gintoki
    Like the one that uses the Shadow Clone Jutsu!
SIGN    [Note: Shadow Clone Jutsu from NARUTO, used to create multiple copies of the user.]
[10:29] Shinpachi
    Calm down!
[10:31] Shinpachi
    Nobody's using any Shadow Clone Jutsu.
[10:32] Shinpachi
    There were two stacked on top of each other to begin with.
[10:36] Gintoki
    What are we going to do about that?!
[10:38] Gintoki
    Looks like he has Sharingan!
SIGN    [Note: Sharingan is an eye technique from NARUTO, used to memorize and replicate an opponent's jutsu.]
[10:40] Gintoki
    I'm too scared to go near him!
[10:41] Gintoki
    He might steal my special techniques!
[10:43] Shinpachi
    I've never seen any Sharingan that dirty!
[10:45] Shinpachi
    And you don't have any special techniques!
[10:47] Shinpachi
    That's why Bandai Namco's having a hard time, 'cause they can't put out any fighting games!
[10:50] Gintoki
    Hey! Somebody do something about this!
[10:53] Gintoki
    Remove them while pretending to shave his face!
[10:55] Shinpachi
    Hey!
[10:56] Shinpachi
    Why me?!
[11:06] Kagura
    I can't do it with my bare hands.
[11:07] Kagura
    It keeps slipping.
[11:09] Shinpachi
    Kagura-chan!
[11:11] Shinpachi
    How oily was the ramen you ate?!
[11:13] Kagura
    We can slide it off with a razor.
[11:16] Shinpachi
    Hey! That's dangerous!
[11:20] Shinpachi
    Careful. Be careful.
[11:22] Kagura
    I know.
[11:27] Kondo
    Uh, excuse me.
[11:28] Kondo
    How long do I have to wait...
[11:30] Kagura
    We're in the middle of something important here, so shut up, dying gorilla!
[11:34] Kagura
    Who knows what I'll end up cutting off if my hand slips?
[11:38] Kondo
    Okay!
[11:42] Gintoki
    Ah, it's working!
[11:45] Kagura
    Oh, I took it off.
[11:47] Shinpachi
    Wow! Way to go!
[11:49] Gintoki
    Remove the other shadow clone, too.
[11:52] Kagura
    Whoa...
[11:54] Kagura
    I did it! I got it off!
[11:55] Shin
    You did it, Kagura-chan!
[11:57] Gintoki
    Whew...
[11:58] Gintoki
    We made it through the first stage.
SIGN    [Oedo Comics]
[12:21] Katsura
    The man is finally facing retirement!
[12:25] Katsura
    Two generations of horsefly-catching are finally coming to an end!
[12:32] Katsura
    Shinji Nagashima's new work!
[12:34] Katsura
    Volume 271 of Abu-san.
[12:37] Katsura
    Scheduled for release on April 32nd.
[12:40] Katsura
    Place your order at a nearby bookstore.
[13:00] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[13:03] Shinpachi
    What's this?
[13:05] Shinpachi
    Wait... Hold on...
[13:07] Shinpachi
    What? No way.
[13:09] Shinpachi
    Gi-Gin-san?
[13:11] Shinpachi
    This is...
[13:13] Shinpachi
    Could it be...
[13:15] Shinpachi
    Th-The Shogun's mag...
[13:30] Gintoki
    You moron!
[13:32] Gintoki
    Can't you keep this place clean?!
[13:34] Gintoki
    We've got golden retriever shit lying around!
[13:37] Shinpachi
    No! That can't be right!
[13:38] Shinpachi
    That was definitely the Shogun's mage!
[13:40] Shinpachi
    You hid the evidence at the speed of light, but it was obvious that his mage came off!
[13:44] Gintoki
    You're wrong!
[13:45] Gintoki
    That was absolutely golden retriever shit!
[13:47] Gintoki
    The color! The size!
[13:49] Gintoki
    It could only be golden retriever shit!
[13:51] Gintoki
    Nothing more! Nothing less!
[13:53] Shinpachi
    Where is there even a golden retriever?!
[13:56] Shinpachi
    Th-This is terrible!
[13:57] Shinpachi
    You cut off his mage while you were removing the naruto!
[14:01] Shinpachi
    That doesn't happen from a slip of the hand!
[14:03] Shinpachi
    What are we going to do?!
[14:05] Shinpachi
    Even committing seppuku won't be enough for this!
[14:06] Gintoki
    C-C-C-Calm down! Calm down, Shinpachi!
[14:09] Shinpachi
    Without his mage, the Shogun is just a baldie!
[14:12] Shinpachi
    With a huge forehead!
[14:13] Shinpachi
    Like someone cosplaying as a fallen warrior!
[14:15] Shinpachi
    Yeah, you could even say that the mage makes the Shogun!
[14:19] Gintoki
    But if you were to put golden retriever shit on the Shogun's head,
[14:23] Gintoki
    anybody would remove it!
[14:24] Gintoki
    That's what a samurai would do!
[14:26] Gintoki
    That's what a loyal subject would do!
[14:28] Shinpachi
    A samurai who calls the General's mage shit is not a samurai!
[14:32] Gintoki
    I-I-It's fine!
[14:33] Gintoki
    Definitely fine!
[14:35] Gintoki
    Life isn't harsh or cruel at all!
[14:37] Gintoki
    Never give up!
[14:38] Shinpachi
    Why are you singing about life?!
[14:40] Shinpachi
    You think that superficial phrases are going to solve our problem?!
[14:44] Gintoki
    But! But!
[14:45] Gintoki
    It's just a little shorter!
[14:47] Gintoki
    We just trimmed his hair!
[14:48] Gintoki
    We can still do this!
[14:49] Gintoki
    We can still pull together a mage!
[14:51] Gintoki
    E-Excuse me.
[14:53] Gintoki
    Let me try to tie this.
[14:57] Shinpachi
    That's not even close to being long enough!
[15:00] Shinpachi
    This is impossible!
[15:01] Gintoki
    It's fine!
[15:03] Gintoki
    I'm just not pulling hard enough!
[15:05] Gintoki
    Have to go like this!
[15:06] Shinpachi
    Hey!
[15:07] Shinpachi
    You're gonna pull it out!
[15:08] Shinpachi
    Pulling his hair out! Out!
[15:09] Gintoki
    Don't give up!
[15:10] Gintoki
    If we give up, there will be no mage!
SIGN    [Note: A spoof of a famous phrase by Coach Anzai Sensei from SLAM DUNK by Takehiko Inoue.]
[15:13] Shinpachi
    Gin-san! The Shogun is tearing up!
[15:15] Shinpachi
    The Shogun is past his limit!
[15:16] Shinpachi
    He can't take any more!
[15:24] Shinpachi
    Ow! Ow! Ow!
[15:25] Shinpachi
    Stop it!
[15:26] Shinpachi
    Please stop it!
[15:27] Gintoki
    Hey, I've got a mage here!
[15:30] Gintoki
    Tie it together!
[15:31] Gintoki
    Tie it together while I'm holding it up!
[15:33] Shinpachi
    It's impossible.
[15:34] Shinpachi
    Impossible!
[15:36] Gintoki
    Okay, we're done.
[15:37] Shinpachi
    Uh, he looks different now.
[15:40] Shinpachi
    His face is all stretched!
[15:41] Shinpachi
    Like he's got a stocking over his head!
[15:43] Gintoki
    Hey, he seems to like it?
[15:46] Gintoki
    Isn't he smiling?
[15:47] Gintoki
    Like he's from the Land of Smiles?
SIGN    [Note: Thailand is known as the Land of Smiles.]
[15:49] Shinpachi
    He isn't!
[15:50] Shinpachi
    His skin is all lifted!
[15:52] Gintoki
    Huh? He's mad?
[15:54] Gintoki
    Is he smiling?
[15:55] Gintoki
    I can't tell.
[15:56] Gintoki
    I can't read his expression at all.
[15:58] Shinpachi
    I guarantee you that he's not smiling!
[16:01] Shinpachi
    I'm sorry!
[16:02] Shinpachi
    We'll fix this right away!
[16:03] Shinpachi
    It's no good, Gin-san!
[16:04] Shinpachi
    If we let him leave like this, we'll definitely lose our heads!
[16:10] Shinpachi
    We have to do something!
[16:11] Shinpachi
    As long as he's satisfied when he leaves, the rest doesn't matter!
[16:15] Shinpachi
    We just have to get past this situation!
[16:17] Shinpachi
    We can just throw together something that looks right and run for it!
[16:20] Shinpachi
    The mage!
[16:21] Shinpachi
    That's right! The mage!
[16:23] Shinpachi
    We can force it onto his head and fool him!
[16:26] Kagura
    Uh-oh, Shinpachi!
[16:29] Kagura
    A golden retriever took the mage and ran away!
[16:32] Shinpachi
    What?!
[16:33] Kagura
    I'll go and get it back!
[16:34] Kagura
    Take care of the rest!
[16:36] Shinpachi
    Wait, Kagura-chan!
[16:38] Shinpachi
    Damn it...
[16:39] Shinpachi
    Why won't anything work...
[16:42] Shinpachi
    What do we have to do...
[16:43] Gintoki
    Hey, Shinpachi.
[16:46] Shinpachi
    Gin-san!
[16:47] Shinpachi
    Th-That...
[16:48] Shinpachi
    What's that mage?!
[16:50] Shinpachi
    Where did you find it?
[16:51] Gintoki
    I didn't find it.
[16:53] Gintoki
    I made it.
[16:54] Shinpachi
    What?!
[16:55] Gintoki
    We didn't have one so I had to make one.
[16:57] Shinpachi
    Wait...
[16:58] Shinpachi
    You made it...?
[16:59] Shinpachi
    That's amazing!
[17:00] Shinpachi
    I'm impressed, Gin-san!
[17:02] Shinpachi
    You're like that Waku Waku san!!
SIGN    [Note: Waku Waku san is from "Tsukutte Asobo," an NHK craft show for kids.]
[17:04] Gintoki
    We'll just glue it on...
[17:07] Gintoki
    Okay, all done.
[17:09] Shinpachi
    It's perfect, Gin-san!
[17:11] Shinpachi
    This will work!
[17:13] Shinpachi
    This should be enough to fool the Shogun...
[17:15] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[17:17] Shinpachi
    After a closer look...
[17:18] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[17:19] Shinpachi
    Isn't this mage kind of shrinking?
[17:23] Shinpachi
    Excuse me.
[17:25] Shinpachi
    How did you make this mage?
[17:29] Gintoki
    It was growing in the bushes next door.
[17:31] Shinpachi
    What kind of bushes are those?!
[17:33] Shinpachi
    What are you doing?!
[17:34] Shinpachi
    How can you put something so disgusting on the head
[17:37] Shinpachi
    of the most important man in this country?!
[17:40] Gintoki
    Well, he said that one who leads must understand how those below feel.
[17:45] Shinpachi
    Below doesn't mean down there!
[17:48] Gintoki
    But doesn't the Shogun like it?
[17:50] Gintoki
    Isn't he smiling?
[17:52] Shinpachi
    I told you already that he isn't smiling!
[17:54] Shinpachi
    And how long do you intend to keep the Shogun's face stretched like that?!
[17:57] Shinpachi
    Free him already!
[17:58] Gintoki
    I can't decide if he's mad or laughing.
[18:03] Gintoki
    Huh?
[18:04] Gintoki
    Something's growing up there.
[18:06] Shinpachi
    Hey!
[18:07] Shinpachi
    He's been infected by something!
[18:10] Shinpachi
    I'm sorry!
[18:11] Shinpachi
    We'll fix it right away!
[18:12] Shinpachi
    This is no good, Gin-san!
[18:13] Shinpachi
    Use someone else!
[18:14] Shinpachi
    Isn't there anyone else to use?!
[18:16] Gintoki
    Someone else?
[18:19] Gintoki
    No choice then.
[18:20] Gintoki
    I'll use Zura's hair down there then...
[18:22] Shinpachi
    Why down there?!
[18:23] Shinpachi
    Can't you just use the hair on his head?!
[18:25] Gintoki
    I'm trying to keep him from finding out.
[18:28] Shinpachi
    Using his pubes won't keep him from finding out!
[18:29] Shinpachi
    Katsura-san's hair is long enough
[18:31] Shinpachi
    that you can cut some off without him finding out, right?!
[18:33] Gintoki
    You're right.
[18:35] Gintoki
    Sorry, Zura.
[18:36] Gintoki
    I'll be taking some of this.
[18:38] Shinpachi
    Why from his bangs?!
[18:40] Shinpachi
    Look at how long it is in the back!
[18:41] Shinpachi
    Why would you take it from the front?!
[18:44] Shinpachi
    And it's too late now!
[18:46] Shinpachi
    You've limited any way to style his hair now!
[18:48] Shinpachi
    What are you going to do about those bangs?!
[18:50] Gintoki
    Ah?
[18:51] Gintoki
    This looks weird 'cause there's a little left.
[18:54] Gintoki
    So I just need to cut his bangs off completely.
[18:56] Gintoki
    See?
[18:57] Shinpachi
    Is he supposed to be Little Lord Fauntleroy?!
SIGN    [Note: Hairstyle for Cedric from "Little Lord Fauntleroy" anime series.]
[18:59] Gintoki
    I get it already.
[19:00] Gintoki
    It won't stand out if I shorten it all around.
[19:03] Gintoki
    Huh?
[19:05] Gintoki
    Like this?
[19:06] Gintoki
    Okay!
[19:07] Shin
    That isn't Katsura-san anymore!
[19:09] Shin
    It's Wakame-san!
SIGN    [Note: Wakame is a character from Sazae-san.]
[19:10] Gintoki
    Forget it.
[19:11] Gintoki
    I've decided Zura gets a crew cut.
[19:13] Shinpachi
    He gave up.
[19:14] Shinpachi
    This guy chose a fine time to stop trying!
[19:17] Gintoki
    Anyway, back to the mage.
[19:19] Gintoki
    We should be able to fool him with this.
[19:22] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[19:23] Shinpachi
    Well, with hair this silky,
[19:26] Shinpachi
    we should be able to make something as good as his old one.
[19:28] Gintoki
    Well, isn't it a little too silky?
[19:31] Shinpachi
    That's not where it goes!
[19:33] Gintoki
    Well, I'd feel guilty about leaving him like this.
[19:37] Gintoki
    Since we're also dealing with a Shogun here.
[19:39] Shin
    Shogun of what?!
[19:40] Shin
    And this is no Shogun! It's a Monsieur!
SIGN    [Note: Nickname for a musician, Hiroshi "Monsieur" Kamayatsu.]
[19:43] Gin
    Well, he won't tap on his geta sandals, but it can still get the job done.
SIGN    [Note: Geta sandal is from the song by Hiroshi Kamayatsu "To my good friend".]
[19:46] Shinpachi
    That's not the issue here!
[19:48] Shinpachi
    Gin-san! Forget the little man and get back to the mage!
[19:50] Shinpachi
    Hurry!
[19:51] Shinpachi
    Before he finds out! Hurry!
[19:52] Gintoki
    I get it already.
[19:54] Shinpachi
    Not there!
[19:56] Shinpachi
    Where are you making a mage?!
[19:58] Gintoki
    Doesn't it look just as good as it did before?
[20:00] Shinpachi
    Forget about that Shogun already!
[20:02] Shinpachi
    The one over here!
[20:03] Shinpachi
    If you don't hurry, we might lose our heads!
[20:06] Kagura
    Gin-chan! Shinpachi!
[20:10] Shin
    Kagura-chan!
[20:11] Kagura
    I managed to get it back.
[20:13] Shinpachi
    Really?!
[20:14] Gintoki
    Great job!
[20:15] Gintoki
    I'm amazed that you were able to get it back.
[20:18] Gintoki
    I thought we'd never see it again.
[20:20] Kagura
    It was hard, but I managed somehow.
[20:22] Kagura
    With this, we should be fine.
[20:24] Shinpachi
    Now, put it on the Shogun's head, quick!
[20:27] Kagura
    Here you go.
[20:31] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[20:32] Shinpachi
    What is this?
[20:34] Shinpachi
    Why is there a mosaic over it?
[20:36] Shinpachi
    Why does it smell funny?
[20:38] Kagura
    It was so hard.
[20:39] Kagura
    I had to look all over town for the right size of golden retriever sh-
[20:56] Katsura
    Excuse me.
[20:58] Katsura
    Do I have to keep waiting?
[21:00] Katsura
    I would expect the shampoo to have permeated my hair by now...
[21:03] Kondo
    What?
[21:04] Kondo
    It's awfully noisy.
[21:11] Shogun
    I had no idea...
[21:13] Shogun
    The commoners braid mage under such foul conditions...
[21:21] Shogun
    I had no idea...
[21:23] Shogun
    I knew nothing at all...
[21:28] General
    Reform is needed...
[21:30] General
    Edo will have no future if I do not reform barbershops!
[21:37] Kondo
    What was that?
[21:39] Katsura
    I couldn't tell if he was crying or laughing.
[21:42] Kondo
    Anyway, when am I going to get my hair cut?
[21:46] Kondo
    I've been waiting for a long time.
[21:48] Katsura
    You too?
[21:50] Katsura
    So have I...
[22:01] Shinpachi
    And so it was that the barbershop received government money to rebuild.
[22:10] Shinpachi
    With a magnificent building and barbers from across the land,
[22:16] Shinpachi
    the place soon became the number one barbershop in Edo.
SIGN    [WANTED]
[22:21] Shinpachi
    However, few were aware that three barbers had risked their lives in the shadows to save this shop.
SIGN    [The End]
[24:06] Kagura
    Can't sleep...
[24:07] Kagura
    Not even a wink. Not the tiniest bit at all. In fact, I'm waking up.
[24:12] Kagura
    Can't sleep...
[24:14] Gintoki
    The next episode...
[24:16] Gintoki
    "Sleep Helps a Child Grow."
[24:17] Kagura
    I wanna grow.
SIGN    [I've gotta get up at seven tomorrow...]
SIGN    [I can't sleep at all at this hour.]
SIGN    [See you next time!]