E65 - "Rhinoceros Beetles Teach Boys that Life is Precious"

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:32] Shin-Chan
    I lost again! Damn it! I've been totally defeated!
[00:35] Ken-Chan
    He's really strong, huh? Yo-chan's Akebono-X is unstoppable!
SIGN    [Note: Akebono is a former sumo wrestler.]
[00:37] Ken-Chan
    Way tougher than the real Akebono!
[00:39] Yo-Chan
    That's because he eats a different type of food than your ragged-looking beetles.
[00:43] Yo-Chan
    Come on, who's next? We will take on any challenger.
[00:47] Kagura
    Yeah, yeah! I'll go next.
[00:50] Yo-Chan
    Oh, Kagura. All right, I'll put a dent in your pride.
[00:54] Kagura
    My Sadaharu No. 28 doesn't eat the same food your beetles eat either.
SIGN    [Reference to Tetsujin No. 28]
[00:59] Kagura
    Get him, Sadaharu No. 28!!
[01:03] Ken-Chan
    It eats a different type of food, but... It looks like a different type of beetle? What is this?
[01:08] Kagura
    It's a dung beetle.
[01:09] Yo-Chan
    Hey! You mean it eats poop?!
[01:12] Kagura
    Right. Isn't it amazing? Isn't it self-sufficient?
[01:15] Kagura
    Isn't it really great?
[01:16] Yo-Chan
    You're the amazing one for grabbing such a thing!
[01:19] Yo-Chan
    Where did you even find it, anyway?
[01:21] Yo-Chan
    Don't you know the rules?!
[01:23] Yo-Chan
    This is a game of rhinoceros beetle sumo wrestling!
[01:25] Kagura
    Hey, hey, don't you realize it's that kind of conservative thinking that's ruining the world of sumo?
[01:30] Yo-Chan
    That's enough! Get lost!
[01:31] Okita
    Yo, yo, you'd better play nice.
[01:35] Okita
    Anyway, can I play?
[01:38] Okita
    There's no one left on my squad who can win against...
[01:42] ---
    ...my Sadomaru No. 21.
SIGN    [Sadaharu No. 28]
[01:48] Shin-Chan
    Kagura-chan, let's go home.
[01:51] Yo-Chan
    Leave her alone. Even if it's just a dung beetle, she loved the little poop-eater.
[01:56] Yo-Chan
    That bastard,
[01:58] ---
    he took away all our beetles...
[02:01] ---
    He must be the one who's been going around beetle hunting.
[02:05] Ken-Chan
    He's so immature. What is he thinking?
[02:11] Kagura
    Sadaharu...
[02:14] Kagura
    Sadaharu No. 21...
[02:16] Kagura
    Oh, I mean No. 28!
SIGN    [This show is GinTama. It's not XX-King.]
SIGN    
SIGN    [Today, everybody goes bug hunting. Beetle hunting time!]
SIGN    ["Rhinoceros Beetles Teach Boys that Life is Precious"]
[04:06] Kagura
    Beetle hunting time!
[04:11] Kagura
    Beetle hunting time!
[04:16] Kagura
    Beetle hunting time!
[04:18] Gintoki
    Shut up!
[04:20] Gintoki
    What are you screaming about?!
[04:23] Kagura
    I'm going beetle hunting. What do you think?
[04:25] Shinpachi
    What do I think?
[04:27] Shinpachi
    Just go.
[04:29] Kagura
    Don't say "Just go"!
[04:31] Kagura
    Listen! I'm out of patience!
[04:35] Kagura
    That bastard killed my sweet Sadaharu No. 28!
[04:41] Kagura
    And even Akebono-X was defeated. He took all our beetles.
[04:47] ---
    Hey, are you listening?
[04:48] Gintoki
    Yeah, I'm listening. I'm listening.
[04:50] Kagura
    So, I want to avenge everyone. Hey, are you listening?
[04:55] Gintoki
    Yeah, I'm listening. I'm listening.
[04:57] Kagura
    So, I need to catch a big, strong beetle to beat his Mazomaru.
[05:01] Kagura
    Huh? Sazomaru? Which one was it? Hey, which one was it?
[05:04] Gintoki
    Yeah, I'm listening. I'm listening.
[05:05] Kagura
    Anyway, I'm going to defeat that bastard's freaky-maru.
[05:08] Kagura
    So please teach me how to catch a beetle.
[05:11] Gintoki
    The rhinoceros beetle boom is back, huh?
[05:13] Gintoki
    Everything comes back eventually, huh?
[05:15] Shinpachi
    Having beetles do sumo seems to have become very popular lately.
[05:19] Kagura
    Come on, teach me.
[05:20] Gintoki
    Yeah, I'm listening, I'm listening.
[05:22] Kagura
    Not "I'm listening," but "teach me."
[05:24] Gintoki
    Huh? You know, I think Akebono should switch to pro wrestling.
[05:28] Kagura
    You didn't hear me at all!
[05:30] Kagura
    Enough, already. Come with me. I really want a beetle!
[05:35] Gintoki
    No kidding. Why should I go catch beetles at my age?
[05:40] Gintoki
    Do your own independent research. Anyway, I'm not going to do anything for no pay...
[05:44] Madomoiselle Announcer
    What?!
[05:45] Madomoiselle Announcer
    Is this beetle that expensive? You can buy a car at that price!
SIGN    Well, yeah, but to me, he's more valuable than a car.
[05:54] Madomoiselle Announcer
    Expensive beetles like this are appearing,
[05:57] Madomoiselle Announcer
    so even adults are getting involved. And the beetle boom is booming.
[06:02] Gintoki
    Beetle hunting time!
[06:05] Gintoki
    Hunt, hunt and hunt some more!
[06:08] Kagura
    Hunt, sell and sell some more!
[06:11] Shinpachi
    Why do we always end up like this?
[06:13] Gintoki
    Listen up, you guys!
[06:14] Gintoki
    We're not going home until we've caught a giant beetle.
[06:18] Gintoki
    This is serious business. Business!
[06:20] Gintoki
    Don't get excited and think we're here for camping!
[06:22] Gintoki
    The forest is like a demon. If you drop your guard, it'll swallow you up in an instant.
[06:26] Kagura
    Don't worry. I'm prepared. I bought plenty of food.
[06:30] Shinpachi
    Food? Those are snacks, aren't they?
[06:31] Shinpachi
    You think this is a picnic, don't you?
[06:33] Gintoki
    Idiot! You're too excited!
[06:35] Gintoki
    I said you only had 300 yen for snacks, remember?!
[06:37] Shinpachi
    You, too!
[06:38] Kagura
    No, silly! Pickled seaweed doesn't really count as a snack!
[06:43] Gintoki
    It does!
[06:44] Gintoki
    Everything you put in your mouth is counted as a snack.
[06:46] Gintoki
    Juice isn't allowed, either!
[06:48] Kagura
    Are you sure about that?
[06:50] Kagura
    I know you secretly put Pocari in your water bottle!
SIGN    [Note: Pocari Sweat is a sports drink.]
[06:54] Gintoki
    That isn't Pocari. The bottle was just dirty.
[06:57] Shinpachi
    I hope you guys get swallowed up by the forest...
[07:01] Shinpachi
    I'm surprised we can't find any...
[07:03] Kagura
    I thought we'd find them easily... What should we do?
[07:07] Gintoki
    Pour honey all over your body and stand still. They'll come running.
[07:11] Kagura
    No, only perverts will come.
SIGN    
[07:27] Shinpachi
    Gin-san, let's go home. This forest frightens me.
[07:30] Kagura
    His whole body was covered with honey.
[07:32] Gintoki
    Don't worry. He's an elf. A Tree Sap elf.
[07:35] Gintoki
    He protects the forest that way.
[07:37] Shinpachi
    But somehow, he looks familiar to me...
[07:39] Kagura
    It's Gorilla. It was Gorilla.
[07:41] Gintoki
    Then he's the gorilla elf. He's protecting the gorillas.
[07:44] Shinpachi
    That doesn't make any sense at all.
[07:55] Shinpachi
    Gin-san, let's go home. This forest is getting really scary now.
[07:58] Kagura
    He was brushing mayonnaise on that tree.
[08:00] Gintoki
    Don't worry. He's a mayonnaise sprite.
[08:02] Gintoki
    That's how they mark their territory.
[08:04] Shinpachi
    But I'm sure I've seen him somewhere before.
[08:07] Kagura
    Then, he's a nicotine fairy. He's protecting cigarettes.
SIGN    [Note: The way he says this is a homonym for "smiling penis".]
[08:09] Gintoki
    Then, he's a nicotine fairy. He's protects cigarettes.
[08:13] Shinpachi
    He's making this stuff up.
[08:15] Shinpachi
    Whoa! Wh-What's the hell is that?!
[08:18] Gintoki
    Wow! Incredible! Look at the size of that thing!!
[08:22] Gintoki
    Why are you just standing there?! Hurry up and knock it down!
[08:24] Kagura
    Come on! Drop!
[08:26] Gintoki/Shinpachi/Kagura
    All right!
[08:28] Kagura
    Now I can avenge Sadaharu No. 28...
[08:30] Okita
    What are you doing?!
[08:31] Gintoki/Shinpachi/Kagura
    Take this!
[08:34] Kagura
    What are you doing here?!
[08:36] Okita
    Isn't it obvious?
[08:37] Gintoki
    The only obvious thing is that you're an idiot.
[08:40] Okita
    Hey, sorry, help me up. I can't get up by myself.
[08:44] Okita
    Um... I was pretending to be their friend... and trying to get close to them.
[08:48] Okita
    Now it's all messed up.
[08:49] Hijikata
    Hey, what's going on here?
[08:51] Kondo
    Hey, you guys! What are you doing here?!
[08:54] Shinpachi
    What are we doing?
[08:56] Shinpachi
    Is that something a person completely covered in honey has the right to ask?
[08:59] Kondo
    We're police officers. Now answer the question.
[09:01] Gintoki
    What kind of police business involves covering yourself in honey, honey?
[09:07] Hijikata
    We don't have to explain anything to someone like you.
[09:09] Kodo
    It's to catch beetles.
[09:11] Hijikata
    He said it. Isn't there something more...?
[09:13] Shinpachi
    To catch beetles?!
[09:15] Gintoki
    Hey, hey, you're collecting tax money and spending it on your vacation?
[09:18] Gintoki
    Are you guys crazy?
[09:20] Kondo
    This is serious work!
[09:21] Kondo
    Anyway, you're creating a disturbance, so get out of this forest.
[09:23] Kagura
    Are you kidding?!
[09:24] Kagura
    We came all the way here to catch the phantom giant beetle!
[09:27] Kagura
    I want to avenge Sadaharu No. 28!
[09:29] Okita
    What are you talking about?
[09:31] Okita
    You were watching a beetle match and you got so excited you crushed your dung beetle yourself!
[09:36] Kagura
    But who made me so excited?! Whose fault was that?!
[09:40] Gintoki
    It was you.
[09:42] Kondo
    Sogo, you've been using unorthodox tactics to hunt beetles again.
[09:45] Kondo
    I told you to stop.
[09:46] Okita
    And catching beetles by painting the forest with mayonnaise isn't unorthodox?
[09:50] Kondo
    Toshi, you're still trying to catch beetles with mayonnaise?
[09:52] Kondo
    I said it's impossible. Let's go with Operation Honey!
[09:55] Hijikata
    No, let's go with Mayonnaise Desperation.
[09:57] Okita
    No, let's go with the Narikiri Wars Episode III.
[10:00] Kondo
    No, let's go with the Injured Honey Murder in Steam.
[10:02] Samurai C
    Oh, there! Chief, look!
[10:10] All
    It's time for beetle hunting!
[10:13] Hijikata
    Hey, wait! Don't touch that beetle!
[10:16] Hijikata
    I'm ordering you to go home!
[10:17] Gintoki
    Bite me! I won't let you keep them all for yourself.
[10:20] Gintoki
    Those beetles belong to everyone! I mean, they all belong to me!
[10:23] Hijikata
    Damn it! Hey, don't let him get it! We have to get it first!
[10:27] Kagura
    Beetle hunting time!
[10:34] Okita
    Beetle Smash!
[10:37] Gintoki
    Beetle... Kick!
[10:50] Kondo
    Bee...
[10:51] Kondo
    ...tle...?!
[10:52] Kondo
    Crash!!
[10:55] Gintoki
    Beetle...
[10:56] Hijikata
    I won't let you say that!
[10:56] ---
    Beetle...
[10:57] Gintoki
    I'll say it... Beetle...
[11:00] Okita
    Bee...
[11:01] Kagura
    ...eee...
[11:02] Okita/Kagura
    ...tle...
[11:04] Gintoki
    Hey, wait...
[11:06] Hijikata
    We're friends, right? We are...
[11:10] Kagura/Okita
    Buster!
[11:21] Yamazaki
    It's gone...
[11:23] Shinpachi
    It sure is gone...
[11:26] Kondo
    Really, what a troublesome group of misfits.
[11:29] Kondo
    What should we do, Toshi?
[11:31] Hijikata
    For now, we have to make sure they don't find out about it.
[11:35] Hijikata
    They're sure to make trouble if they learn the truth.
[11:41] Hijikata
    After all, it's worth a king's ransom.
[11:45] Kondo
    Right! We'll search for it all night.
[11:47] Kondo
    We have to return "Rurimaru" to Shogun-sama as soon as possible.
[11:52] Samurai
    Yeah!
[11:54] Okita
    That girl...I'll beat her this time...
[12:02] Kagura
    This curry isn't very tasty.
[12:05] Kagura
    I told you I like country-style curry with
[12:09] Kagura
    potato and vegetables melted into a thick stew.
[12:10] Gintoki
    Shut up! Why are you speaking with a Kansai accent?!
[12:12] Gintoki
    If you like it thick, then put slime on your rice and suck it!
[12:15] Kagura
    You have to sauté the onions to a golden brown. That's the cardinal rule of cooking curry!
[12:19] Kagura
    If you're going to cook, do it right, uh-huh!
[12:21] Gintoki
    Ah! How 'bout I sauté you to a golden brown?
[12:24] Kagura
    Ah? How 'bout I microwave you till you explode?
[12:27] Shinpachi
    Yeah, yeah. Cut it out, you two.
[12:29] Shinpachi
    You guys have been on edge ever since we met the Shinsengumi.
[12:32] ---
    But I'm not blaming you after that nasty battle.
[12:34] Shinpachi
    Well, let's enjoy dinner, at least.
[12:37] Shinpachi
    Anyway, I wonder if they really came here to catch beetles.
[12:41] ---
    In fact, they look too serious...
[12:45] Shinpachi
    Hey! What was that for, Kagura-chan?!
[12:47] Kagura
    A mosquito...
[12:49] Shinpachi
    Let's go back to what I was talking about...
[12:53] Gintoki
    A mosquito...
[12:58] Shinachi
    You bastards, stop it already!
[13:00] Shinachi
    Are you using mosquitoes as an excuse to take out your frustrations on me?
[13:02] Gintoki
    No, but the mosquito...
[13:03] Shinpachi
    Seriously, cut it out. How can we hunt beetles effectively when we're so divided?
[13:07] Gintoki
    All right, I'm sorry. I was being childish.
[13:10] ---
    I'm sorry, Kagura. I'll try to make country-style curry next time.
[13:14] Kagura
    Well, that's all right.
[13:15] Kagura
    I actually prefer city-style better than country-style. I'm sorry, Gin-chan.
[13:19] Gintoki
    I see. Then I'll make city-style curry next time.
[13:23] Gintoki
    You bastard, Shinpachi!
[13:25] Gintoki
    You were pretending to be a good boy, but you were waiting for your chance!
[13:27] Shinpachi
    You're so optimistic! You know how many years I've been around you?!
[13:30] Kagura
    The curry! The city-style curry!
[13:32] Kagura
    How could you do this to me?! I was going to have seconds!
[13:36] Gintok
    I only had two bites! What are you going to do about this?!
[13:38] Shinpachi
    I didn't even take a bite! Understand?!
[13:41] Hijikata
    Yamazaki, that's enough. It worked.
[13:44] Yamazaki
    Yes, sir. But they're such dopes.
[13:47] Yamazaki
    They have a falling out just over mosquitoes.
[13:49] Yamazaki
    After they've beaten each other to a pulp, they'll leave the forest.
[13:52] Hijiakta
    Not necessarily. You never know with these guys.
[13:59] Shinpachi
    I'm so hungry I can't sleep.
[14:01] Gintoki
    It's all in your head.
[14:03] Kagura
    It's not my head, it's my stomach, uh-huh!
[14:06] Gintoki
    At least you ate a whole plate!
[14:08] Kagura
    I wanted lots of helpings, not just one.
[14:13] Kagura
    What's that smell?!
[14:16] Okita
    Yummy! Nothing beats a barbecue when you're camping!
[14:21] Yamazaki
    You can eat curry at our house anytime!
[14:23] Yamazaki
    And it was a pain to haul pickled vegetables out here!
[14:25] Hijikata
    Hey, where's the mayonnaise?
[14:27] Yamazaki
    Vice-Chief, this is a ploy to make them think we're enjoying a good meal.
[14:30] Yamazaki
    So mayonnaise isn't...
[14:31] Hijikata
    Bastard! Are you disrespecting mayonnaise?!
[14:33] Hijikata
    Mayonnaise goes well with everything!
[14:36] Okita
    Hi, you guys, are you still here?
[14:40] Okita
    The mosquitoes will eat you alive if you sleep in a cheap tent like that.
[14:44] Okita
    Oops! I dropped it!
[14:46] Samurai B
    Hey, Captain Okita! Forget about it.
[14:50] Samurai B
    There's plenty more over here, so come back!
[14:52] Okita
    All right.
[14:54] Okita
    So, I've got to go. Ah! You can eat that if you want.
[14:58] Okita
    Look at their faces.
[15:00] Okita
    It's only a matter of time before they get so hungry they leave the forest... Huh?!
[15:04] Gintoki
    There's nothing like pickled seaweed when you're camping.
[15:07] Kagura
    Barbecue? Isn't that tacky? Isn't it too ordinary?
[15:09] Kagura
    Isn't it boring? City people eat pickled seaweed.
[15:12] Hijikata
    What?!
[15:13] Hijikata
    They're roasting pickled seaweed and eating it!
[15:15] Yamazaki
    That looks pathetic! So pathetic!
[15:17] Kagura
    Hey, tax thieves! You're still here?
[15:20] Hijikata
    Who are you calling tax thieves?
[15:22] Hijikata
    There's no way we're gonna give you our barbecue.
[15:24] Kagura
    You know... If you guys barbecue at a place like this, you know...
[15:29] Kagura
    It's going to be... U...a problem... U...
[15:29] Hijikata
    Hey, what are you doing? What are you...?
[15:35] Samurai C
    That's disgusting! She puked in it!! Gross! It reeks!
[15:38] Samurai D
    How could you do that?! Now I don't feel like eating anymore!
[15:40] Yamazaki
    Ah, shoot! I feel... Ugh!
[15:43] Samurai B
    Yamazaki threw up, too!
[15:50] Kondo
    I see...
[15:51] Kondo
    Just as I thought, they were tough.
[15:54] Kondo
    We didn't have any success, either.
[15:56] Kondo
    All we caught were ordinary beetles...
[15:58] Hijikata
    Look, men, even if the chief asks you, you can say no if you don't like it.
[16:02] Samurai A
    Well, but it's The Honey Plan.
[16:04] Hijikata
    But why did you have to put honey all over yourselves?!
[16:06] Kondo
    Shogun-sama said he lost Rurimaru while recuperating at his second villa in this forest.
[16:11] Kondo
    Where could Rurimaru be?
[16:14] Kondo
    Huh? Speaking of that, where's Sogo?
[16:17] Hijikata
    He went off on his own again.
[16:18] Hijikata
    He's such a rogue. He's been shaking down kids for their beetles. So rotten.
[16:23] Kondo
    Rurimaru looks like a glittering jewel of living gold.
[16:29] Kondo
    But at first glance, he's just like any other beetle.
[16:32] Hijikata
    A glittering jewel of living gold... Does a bug like that really...
[16:35] Kagura
    Gin-chan! Shinpachi!
[16:37] Kagura
    Look! Look at that! There's something strange over there!
[16:40] Gintoki
    Huh? Does something weird mean a gorilla covered in mayonnaise again?
[16:44] Gintoki
    You always find something weird.
[16:47] Kagura
    No, no! That one!
[16:49] Kagura
    It's a shiny golden beetle!
[16:51] Kondo
    What?!
[16:53] Hijikata
    She found it so easily!
[16:54] Kondo
    No! That is...
[16:55] Hijikata
    Wait!
[16:59] Shinpachi
    Did you just hear a weird voice?
[17:01] Gintoki
    In the forest, there're still many mysterious creatures that humans don't know about.
[17:05] Gintoki
    Don't worry about everything.
[17:07] Hijikata
    Calm down.
[17:08] Hijikata
    If we make a fuss, they'll realize how valuable Rurimaru is. Let's see how it goes.
[17:12] Shinpachi
    Isn't it a toy or something?
[17:14] Gintoki
    No, not that. It's a blow-fly. Don't touch it! It's really filthy.
[17:18] Hijikata
    See, they're complete idiots. Idiots!
[17:20] Kagura
    But it looks so cool! It's so shiny.
[17:23] Gintoki
    I said no. They're infested in poop.
[17:26] Gintoki
    It's the same in nature and the human world, something this flashy is never good.
[17:32] Hijikata
    Yes!
[17:33] Hijikata
    They left! They really are imbeciles!!
[17:35] Kondo
    Now! Hurry up and get Rurimaru!
[17:38] Hijikata
    Rurimaru...!
[17:40] Kondo/Hijikata
    No! This terrible!
[17:43] Gintoki
    Whoa! It's gross! There's a blow-fly on your head!
[17:46] Gintoki
    W-Wait! Don't move! Don't move!
[17:47] Gintoki
    You've got cooties!
[17:49] Kondo (M)
    Stop! That's the Shogun's pet!
[17:53] Gintoki
    Die, you bastard! Damn it! It's too quick!
[17:55] Kagura
    Ow! That hurts!
[17:57] Gintoki
    Hey, hold still! The blow-fly is on your head! It thinks you're poop!
[17:58] Kondo
    Wait! Wait! Wait!
[18:00] Kondo
    Don't do it!! That is...
[18:04] Kondo
    Whoa! Ruri...Rurimaru!
[18:07] Kagura
    That hurts!
[18:08] ---
    You guys are so mean!
[18:09] ---
    Even if it is just a blow-fly, it's a living thing! Don't you feel sorry for it?!
[18:12] ---
    Ah, that's a relief!
[18:13] ---
    It seems to be all right.
[18:14] Kondo
    Wait! It's not a blow-fly. It's... That's actually...
[18:17] Kagura
    This little one flew to me because he likes me.
[18:20] Kagura
    He must be Sadaharu No. 28's successor.
[18:20] Kondo
    Hey, are you listening to me?!
[18:22] Kagura
    This is the time to avenge your predecessor! Let's go, Sadaharu No. 29!
[18:27] Hijikata
    Hey, wait! That's the Shogun's-!
[18:31] Gintoki
    Shogun's...what?
[18:36] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[18:38] Shinpachi
    The Shogun's pet?
[18:40] Hijikata
    That's right.
[18:41] Kondo
    Under the Bakufu's order,
[18:43] Kondo
    we came here to capture Shogun-sama's beloved pet, Rurimaru.
[18:45] Shinpachi
    So that's it. I knew you were up to something.
[18:48] Gintoki
    Hey, hey. You came all the way out here for just a bug?
[18:52] Gintoki
    What a tough assignment for a government official.
[18:54] Hijikata
    That's why I didn't want to tell him.
[18:56] Kondo
    Well, now that they know the whole story. Let's get them to help us.
[19:00] Gintoki
    It's 60%!
[19:01] Kondo
    Huh?
[19:02] Gintoki
    Right now, Little Lolimaru is already in our hands.
[19:05] Kondo
    It's Rurimaru.
[19:07] Gintoki
    Here's the deal. If you want Porimaru back, you have to agree to our terms.
[19:12] Kondo
    It's Rurimaru.
[19:13] Gintoki
    If you capture Gorimaru, you'll get some great reward, right?
[19:16] Gintoki
    So I'm saying I take 60% of it.
[19:19] Kondo
    It's Rurimaru.
[19:20] Hijikata
    That's why I didn't want to tell him.
[19:22] Kondo
    I agree.
[19:24] Gintoki
    All right, it's a deal.
[19:25] Gintoki
    Shinpachi, it looks like we don't have to worry about the rent for a while.
[19:28] Shinpachi
    Sweet!
[19:30] Kagura
    I finally found you, Mazo-no, Sazomaru!
[19:35] Kondo
    Sogo?!
[19:37] Gintoki
    Kagura? Huh? What is she doing? I have a bad feeling...
[19:41] Gintoki
    Kagura!
[19:42] Kondo
    Sogo! What are you doing?!
[19:44] Kagura
    I'm going to avenge Sadaharu No. 28. I'm challenging you to a duel.
[19:50] Okita
    I knew you'd come. I've prepared my best bug for this occasion.
[19:54] Kagura
    I'm looking forward to it. I'll show you the strength of Sadaharu No. 29.
[19:59] Kagura
    Now! Let's have a fair fight!
[20:01] Shinpachi
    Wait! They're going to have a beetle sumo match!
[20:04] Gintoki
    Kagura, listen to me! That's the shogun's pet!
[20:07] Gintoki
    If you hurt it, we'll be in big trouble! They'll make us commit seppuku! Seppuku!
[20:11] Kondo
    Toshi!
[20:11] Hijikata
    Well, just wait. If Sogo wins, we'll get Rurimaru back for free.
[20:15] Hijikata
    I think Sogo made a calculated decision.
[20:17] Hijikata
    He won't do anything violent. He's not that stupid.
[20:21] Okita
    Behold the brutal and monstrous man-eating beetle king, Sadomaru No. 22
[20:26] Sadomaru
    Kabuto!
[20:28] Gintoki/Shinpachi/Kondo/Hijikata
    He's that stupid!
[20:30] Hijikata
    Hey! Hold on!!
[20:32] Hijikata
    Do you realize what that thing will do to Rurimaru if they fight?
[20:35] Okita
    I'm going to crush him.
[20:36] Gintoki
    Right! It'll reduce him to pieces!
[20:38] Gintoki
    Kagura-chan, Sadaharu No. 29 will be demolished into pieces!
[20:41] Kagura
    Fighting isn't about body size! It's about guts!
[20:43] Gintoki
    You're the only one who has guts!
[20:45] Gintoki
    It's a pampered upbringing.
[20:46] Gintoki
    Lolimaru had a pampered upbringing and was protected by the Shogun!
[20:50] Kondo
    I said it's Rurimaru!
[20:51] Kondo
    We have to stop them! Hurry up and stop them!
[20:53] Shinpachi
    It's impossible! I can't climb this cliff!
[20:56] Kondo
    We have to work together!
[20:58] Kondo
    There's no hardship we can't overcome if four samurai work together!
[21:00] Gintoki
    Then you'll be the base! I'll climb and do something!
[21:04] Hijikata
    No way! You be the base!
[21:05] Gintoki
    Now isn't the time to argue!
[21:07] Gintoki
    We're wasting precious time!
[21:09] Gintoki
    Grow up and be a good stepping-stone! There's no way I'm gonna get down on all fours for you!
[21:11] Shinpachi
    You grow up!
[21:15] Sadomaru
    Kabuto!
[21:18] Okita
    Take this! Sado-beam!
[21:22] Okita
    Tsk. How obstinate!
[21:26] Okita
    Can I defeat you now? I didn't get your answer, though...
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Kamen Rider Den-O phrase.]
[21:31] Kondo
    Ah! Oh, no!
[21:33] Okita
    Go!
[21:34] ---
    Sadomaru!
[21:36] Okita
    Sado-slash!
[21:44] Gintoki
    Beetle...
[21:46] Gintoki
    ...hunting!
[21:56] Okita
    Sadomaru!
[21:58] Kondo
    Yes!
[22:00] Hijikata
    He did it!
[22:01] Okita
    Mister! How dare you? My Sadomaru...!
[22:03] Kagura
    Gin-chan, you're so mean! You disrupted our match!
[22:07] Okita
    Ow!
[22:07] Kagura
    Ow!
[22:08] Gintoki
    You idiots!
[22:09] Gintoki
    If you want to fight, then get into the ring yourselves and duke it out!
[22:13] Gintoki
    You shouldn't toy with other creatures' lives!
[22:16] Gintoki
    I'll kill you, you bastards! Beetles, earthworms or water striders,
[22:20] Gintoki
    All life is prec-
[22:28] Gintoki
    A small life was snuffed out prematurely, but...we're all friends...
[22:32] Gintoki
    So let's not forget our joint responsibility in this tragedy.
SIGN    [The Metropolitan Police Department]
[22:36] Matsudaira
    Yo! Thanks for your hard work in capturing that beetle.
[22:44] Matsudaira
    And did you find it, Toshi?
[22:47] Hijikata
    Well, we did manage to find it, but...
[22:50] Hijikata
    Um... It evolved...
[22:52] Matsudaira
    Commit seppuku.
[24:25] Shinpachi
    The next episode... "Dango Over Flowers." It's too simple for a title.
SIGN    [A dango battle over the existence of the shop! Konpeito VS Andromeda]
SIGN    [Save the old established shop! The Odd Jobs Trio goes into battle! "You'd better eat when you can!"]