E83 - "Rank Has Nothing to Do With Luck"

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Tojo
    Keep the lights on in your room and please watch from a distance.
SIGN    [A cold is spreading at the Hostess Club. And, right when they are expecting an important customer...]
SIGN    [The "GinTama" anime is being criticized. And, right when there's an episode like this...]
SIGN    [Hostess Club Smile]
[01:45] Manager
    Huh? You caught a cold, too, Hanako-chan?
[01:49] Hanako
    I'm sorry.
[01:50] Hanako
    I have a low fever, and I can't stop coughing.
[01:55] Hanako
    I don't want to pass it on to the customers.
[01:58] Manager
    Ah, all right, all right. Just go home today and rest.
[02:03] Hanako
    I'm really sorry.
[02:04] Manager
    Make sure you wear a lot of warm clothes, drink lots of POCARI and sweat it out.
SIGN    [Note: POCARI is a Japanese sports drink.]
[02:08] Hanako
    All right.
[02:09] Manager
    You'd better not underestimate a low fever! Take care of yourself.
[02:17] Manager
    This is bad...
[02:19] Black Suit
    This is bad...
[02:21] Black Suit
    The cold is spreading. The hostess club feels like a funeral.
[02:25] Manager
    And we host a VIP guest tomorrow...
[02:28] Black Suit
    As I recall, he's a very important Bakufu official.
[02:32] Manager
    This is bad...
[02:34] Black Suit
    This is bad...
[02:35] Manager
    Well, this is really bad...
[02:37] Black Suit
    Well, this is really bad...
[02:39] Manager
    Aren't there any girls available?
[02:43] Black Suit
    Well...
[02:44] Black Suit
    ...just one...
SIGN    ["Rank Has Nothing to Do With Luck"]
[03:00] Manager
    This is bad...
[03:02] Black Suit
    This is bad...
[03:03] Manager
    No, this is worse than you thought.
[03:06] Black Suit
    No, this is way worse than you thought.
[03:09] Black Suit
    ...But why of all people...
[03:12] Manager
    Well, it's said that an idiot can't catch a cold-
[03:17] Manager
    I'm sorry. May I take the day off tomorrow?
[03:20] Otae
    Make sure you wear a white gown, take lots of sleeping pills and get enough sleep.
SIGN    [Note: White clothes often symbolize death. She's suggesting he kill himself.]
[03:24] Manager
    All right.
[03:26] Otae
    You'd better not underestimate a woman, okay?
SIGN    [THE NEXT DAY]
[03:31] Gintoki
    People say that love is a sickness.
[03:34] Gintoki
    The hostesses who make men lovesick all caught colds?
[03:39] Gintoki
    You hostesses have no professional pride, bastards.
[03:43] Gintoki
    But you look fine. You look as healthy as always.
[03:48] Gintoki
    So it's true that an idiot-
[03:49] Manager
    Well, it's a shame. But I can't open my club with just one hostess.
[03:54] Manager
    Is there any way you can help us, Gin-san?
[03:57] Mgt
    You're the owner of Odd Jobs, aren't you? So you must know a lot of people.
[04:00] Mgt
    It should be easy for you to introduce a couple of cute girls to us.
[04:04] Gintoki
    If there were a pretty girl around, I'd introduce her to myself.
[04:07] Kagura
    There's a pretty girl right here!
[04:09] Manager
    Tonight we are hosting a top government official who is a friend of Matsudaira.
[04:14] Kagura
    Hey, stop ignoring me.
[04:16] Manager
    It's a rare opportunity to get a prestigious customer like him.
[04:19] Manager
    I'll pay you generously, so please help us.
[04:20] Kagura
    Hey, beard! Hey!
[04:21] Gintoki
    Cute girls, hmm... No one pops up in my mind...
[04:25] Kagura
    Hey, over here! Open your eyes!
[04:27] Kagura
    What you're looking for is right next to you!
[04:30] Gintoki
    Aside from their looks, most of them are not nice... Ah, there's one.
[04:34] Kagura
    Yes! This one, this one.
[04:36] Gintoki
    Well...no. If she doesn't have antennas and a psycho gun on her left arm...
SIGN    [Note: Refers to a character from COBRA, a manga from the 80s.]
[04:41] Kagura
    Who is that?! Is she like a monster?!
[04:43] Otae
    Um... If it's all right, can I call up my friends? I know many pretty girls.
[04:49] Gintoki
    No. You can't trust a woman who says she knows "pretty women."
[04:52] Gintoki
    She always brings girls who don't look as good as her.
[04:55] Shinpachi
    Did you have some bad experiences with that, Gin-san?
[04:58] Kyubei
    Excuse me.
[04:59] Kyubei
    Um... Is Tae-chan here? I've brought something for her.
[05:03] Gintoki
    Ah...
[05:07] Kyubei
    ...Um...
[05:08] Kyubei
    Well... what...?
[05:14] Otae
    Kyu-chan, you're really cute!
[05:15] Manager
    This is great! This girl is fantastic!
[05:17] Tojo
    You bastard! What are you doing with our Young Lord?
[05:20] Gintoki
    Wait. Calm down. We have a bit of a complicated situation here.
[05:22] Shinpachi
    Please help us out for a while. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
[05:25] Tojo
    Give me a break! As you bastards already know...! Young Lord...
[05:29] Tojo
    Young Lord...!
[05:30] Tojo
    ...would look much better wearing a Goth-Loli costume!
[05:35] Kyubei
    I don't know much about this, but if Tae-chan is in trouble, I will help.
[05:39] Otae
    I'm sorry to make you feel uncomfortable, Kyu-chan.
[05:43] Kyubei
    No problem. I'm not sure if I can handle this, but I'll give it a try.
[05:47] Tojo
    No, Young Lord!
[05:48] Tojo
    A hostess engages in a 30-minute, one-round match
[05:51] Gintoki
    No. The place you go to isn't a hostess club.
[05:52] Tojo
    with a strange customer... And it feels really nice...
[05:55] Tojo
    I didn't go, Young Lord!
[05:56] Tojo
    I'm telling you, I didn't pay 10,000 yen for a one-time course! Please don't hate me.
[06:01] Kyubei
    Don't worry. I've hated you all along.
[06:04] Otae
    But are you really okay with this, Kyu-chan?
[06:06] Otae
    You've lived as a man until now, and now you'll accompany men...
[06:11] Kyubei
    It'll be just like talking with my friends, right?
[06:13] Gintoki
    Well, a conversation might be all right, but there're guys who'll slap your ass.
[06:17] Gintoki
    Are you fine with that?
[06:18] Kyubei
    I'll be patient but somewhat ashamed. I've caused you guys a lot of trouble before.
[06:23] Kyubei
    So I want to help you as much as possible.
[06:25] Otae
    Kyu-chan...
[06:27] Gintoki
    Well, if you're sure it's all right...but don't push yourself.
[06:31] ---
    Regardless of whether you're a man or a woman,
[06:32] ---
    it's natural to feel uncomfortable when someone touches your ass.
[06:40] Tojo
    If you touch Young Lord in such a friendly manner, you'll get tossed like that.
[06:43] Tojo
    Young Lord likes young girls, but if some pathetic man touches her,
[06:47] Tojo
    it makes her skin crawl and she does what she just did now.
[06:50] Kyubei
    Stop talking like that.
[06:51] Tojo
    You react like that even when someone just touches your shoulder.
[06:54] Tojo
    Do you think you can really have a match with a customer on the mat?
[06:56] Shinpachi
    We already told you that's not it!
[06:58] Kyubei
    If I rub lotion all over my body, they won't be able to do anything to me. They can't beat me!
[07:01] Shinpachi
    I'm saying that's all wrong. Why are you talking about lotion pro-wresting?
[07:04] Tojo
    Please stop this already.
[07:06] Tojo
    It's about time we head back or we'll miss the rerun of Hachikuro.
SIGN    [Note: Hachikuro (Honey and Clover) is a TV show/anime.]
[07:08] Tojo
    Let's go home.
[07:13] Tojo
    I am Ayumu Tojo! My life's mission is to protect the Young Lord!
[07:20] Tojo
    So, I'll become a hostess and protect Young Lord to the end!
[07:24] Gintoki
    Well, at this point, we somehow have three...
[07:27] Shinpachi
    No, we don't. And I think one person is a complete mismatch.
[07:30] Manager
    Why does he have a towel wrapped around himself?
[07:32] Manager
    Why is he hiding his chest? That really pisses me off.
[07:36] Gintoki
    How many more people do you need?
[07:38] Manager
    I need at least three more.
[07:40] Kagura
    If you count me in, we need only two more.
[07:43] Gintoki
    Three more... That'll be more work.
[07:45] Kagura
    Hey, only two more.
[07:46] Manager
    Don't you know anyone? Anyone's all right, as long as she's good-looking.
[07:50] Kagura
    Hey, listen to me. Or I'll cry.
[07:51] Gintoki
    I already talked to one girl, so it'll work.
[07:52] Kagura
    Damn it. Forget it.
[07:54] Manager
    Ah, you already called her. That's great, Odd Jobs.
[07:57] Catherine
    Hello there. I came here because I heard I could get free sake!
[08:01] Manager
    Did you hear what I said?!
[08:04] Gintoki
    She'll serve as a foil. In a group, someone like her is essential.
[08:08] Gintoki
    It's like SPEED, or Momusu. Whatever.
SIGN    [Note: SPEED and Momusu (short for Morning Musume) are all-female J-pop groups.]
[08:10] Manager
    It's going completely haywire! Why are you wrapped in a towel, too?!
[08:15] Catherine
    It's a service to TV viewers, of course.
[08:17] Catherine
    For now, give me ten million yen as my performance fee!
[08:20] Manager
    Not only is she lacking in the looks department, but her personality is the worst.
[08:23] Gintoki
    Two more...
[08:30] Manager
    Hey! What?! From the ceiling?
[08:33] Gintoki
    Hey, you.
[08:34] Gintoki
    Stand up, Stalker. Starting today, you're a hostess, too.
[08:38] Sachan
    Don't touch me!
[08:39] Gintoki
    I didn't!
[08:41] Sachan (M)
    I don't know anything about the Yagyu Arc or anything else.
[08:43] Sachan (M)
    But you left me alone for a long time, and I finally spotted you in the previous episode.
[08:47] ---
    And now you're asking me to work as a hostess? That...
[08:50] Sachan
    That...
[08:53] Sachan
    ...makes me so fired up.
[08:55] ---
    You know exactly how to get me all excited!
[08:59] Manager
    Well... You're also a mismatch.
[09:02] Manager
    But that's okay, as long as you're good-looking.
[09:03] Manager
    Really, I don't know what kind of group this is, except that they all look like girls.
[09:06] Gintoki
    Fine. There're six here.
[09:09] Shinpachi
    Oh? I only count five. We're one short.
[09:13] Gintoki
    Hey...
[09:14] Gintoki
    Don't drink. You can drink Koronamin-C, though.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Oronamin-C, a carbonated beverage.]
[09:19] Kagura
    Gin-chan...
[09:21] Manager
    Is this a monster house?!
[09:23] Black Suit
    Manager! Our guest has arrived.
[09:25] Manager
    Eh? Already? What should we do?
[09:27] Otae
    Everyone, hurry! Let's go greet him!
[09:29] Otae
    The glorious path of the hostesses has begun.
[09:31] Kagura/ Kyubei /Sachan
    All right!
[09:33] Manager
    Can they handle it?
[09:35] Gintoki
    They'll be all right. They will...
[09:39] Catherine
    Hey... Hurry and get up there.
[09:41] Tojo
    The lotion's making me slip...
[09:48] Gintoki
    Hey! What are you doing?!
[09:50] Manager
    Before they even got to see any customers, they croaked on the job!
[09:52] Manager
    Come on! Hey! What was your reason for even coming here?!
[09:55] Manager
    You've doing nothing but cause trouble!
[09:57] Gintoki
    For now, let's clean up.
[09:59] Gintoki
    It looks unnatural to leave these guys on the floor.
[10:01] Manager
    Be careful! These guys are really slippery! Watch your step!
[10:07] Gintoki/Shinpachi
    Ma-Manager!
[10:10] Manager
    Take...care of... my club...
[10:16] Gintoki
    Manager!!
[10:20] Gintoki
    Let's clean him up, too.
[10:22] Shinpachi
    So fast! That was a quick change of heart!
[10:24] Matsudaira
    What? I don't see many hostesses here tonight. We can't go crazy with this.
[10:29] Otae
    Don't worry. There'll be plenty more once we get there.
[10:33] Gintoki/Shinpachi (M)
    They're coming!
[10:34] Shinpachi
    What should we do now? She said there'd be "plenty."
[10:37] Shinpachi
    We've gotta do something right now!
[10:39] Matsudaira
    Ah, what are you guys doing? Hurry up and come over here.
[10:42] Otae
    See, Matsudaira-san, everybody's waiting for you.
[10:45] Gintoki
    Hello! I'm Pako.
[10:47] Shinpachi
    I'm Pachie.
[10:51] Otae (M)
    So why are you guys wrapped in towels?!
[10:54] Gintoki/Shinpachi (M)
    We didn't have time to change!
[10:56] Matsudaira
    Huh?
[10:58] Kondo
    I see many new faces today. Are they all new?
SIGN    [Hostess Club Smile]
[11:18] Gintoki/Shinpachi (M)
    Wh-Why...?!
[11:21] Shinpachi (M)
    Of all people, why are the Shinsengumi, the top people in the government, here?!
[11:25] Kondo
    Ah, what are you guys doing?! I didn't know you were interested in such things...
[11:25] Shinpachi (M)
    This is bad. If they're our guests...we have to not only attend...
[11:30] Shinpachi (M)
    We can't walk with our heads held high... Gin-san! What should we do?!
[11:35] Gintoki
    Welcome!
[11:37] Shinpachi (M)
    Gin-san!
[11:39] Shinpachi (M)
    Don't tell me...! Does he think he's well disguised?
[11:41] Shinpachi (M)
    What is he trying to do with that?
[11:43] Gintoki
    Stick out your chin and mumble, Pachie. Mumble softly.
[11:46] Gintoki
    Mao Daichi said on TV that if you mumble, no one would recognize you.
SIGN    [Note: Mao Daichi is a musical star actress.]
[11:49] Shinpachi (M)
    No way! They'll find out...
[11:51] Shinpachi (M)
    It's like putting on a black tank top and briefs and saying "I'm Death."
[11:55] ---
    Kagura-chan, can you say something to this idiot?
[11:57] Kagura
    I'm Gurako. It's nice to meet you, bastard.
SIGN    [Note: Kagura is imitating Antonio Inoki, who is known for his turned-up chin.]
[12:00] Shinpachi (M)
    She already did it! She's mumbling! This girl...!
[12:04] Kagura
    My hobby is shooting sixteen times with automatic fire.
[12:06] Shinpachi (M)
    Huh? Hey, Kyubei-san?
[12:08] Kyubei
    My hobby is Star Soldier.
SIGN    [Note: Star Soldier is a series of shoot'em up video games.]
[12:09] Shinpachi (M)
     Hey, don't copy the way she speaks! What kind of hostess club is this?!
[12:12] Shinpachi (M)
    Is this a club where everyone mumbles?
[12:14] Shinpachi (M)
    I already told you that you completely misunderstood the situation!
[12:17] Shinpachi (M)
    Why is she doing Yasugibushi?
SIGN    [Note: Yasugibushi is a local folk song of the Shimane prefecture.]
[12:18] Okita
    Hey, I see some good masochism here.
[12:20] Shinpachi (M)
    Hey, the sadist part of him awakened!
[12:21] Okita
    Hey, lady, I can put something much better than toothpicks up your nose.
[12:23] Shinpachi (M)
    Please get out of this club! I don't mind paying you for that!
SIGN    [Don't get so cocky! You white-assed brat. Come back when your hair down there becomes a natural perm. Then we'll talk.]
[12:29] Okita
    You're really something.
[12:30] Shinpachi (M)
    How could he even understand what she said?
[12:31] Hijikata
    Hey, Sogo, you'd better stop now.
[12:33] ---
    We didn't come here today for fun.
[12:35] Matsudaira
    Yo, what's up? There's no need to hesitate. Have some drinks.
[12:40] Hijikata
    No, we can't do that.
[12:41] Shinpachi (M)
    What? They didn't come here for drinks?
[12:44] Shinpachi (M)
    That's a relief! Huh? Hold on... Then why did they come?
[12:48] Okita
    Well, please enjoy your time here. We'll be outside standing guard...
[12:53] Okita
    ...my Lord...
[13:01] Shinpachi
    Gin-san, did you just hear him say, "my Lord"?
[13:04] Gintoki
    Yeah. No... but it can't be...
[13:07] Gintoki
    Hey, he just said "my Lord."
[13:09] Otae
    There's no way something like that could have happened.
[13:11] Otae
    Why would Shogun-sama come to a hostess club like this?
[13:13] Otae
    Well, please come in, my Lord.
[13:16] Gintoki
    Hey, you just called him "my Lord," too.
[13:18] Kagura
    My Lord is a very common name.
SIGN    [Note: In Japanese the term uesama means "my lord" and is often written on receipts to show respect for the customer.]
[13:20] Kagura
    People always use that name on their receipt.
[13:22] Gintoki
    Well, but...
[13:23] Kyubei
    Did you just hear him wrong? Something like Uesugi-san?
[13:29] Gintoki
    Well, that's true. There's no way the Shogun would come here.
[13:33] Matsudaira
    Yo, Sho-chan! Over here!
[13:36] Gintoki
    See. He's even called Sho-chan.
[13:41] Otae
    Sho-chan is a cute nickname.
[13:43] Otae
    But tell me your real name. I'm just curious.
[13:48] Shogun
    The Seii Taishogun, Shigeshige Tokugawa.
SIGN    [Note: Shogun is the shortened form of the title Seii Taishogun.]
[13:51] Shogun
    Since I'm the Shogun, call me Sho-chan.
[13:53] Otae
    Come on. You like telling jokes, don't you? What do you do for a living?
[13:58] Shogun
    I just said I'm the Seii Taishogun.
[14:01] Otae
    Wow! Tendon? You're such a funny man.
SIGN    [Note: In Japanese comedy, saying the same joke twice is called a "Tendon."]
[14:06] Kondo
    The second squad and third squad go way back!
[14:17] Kondo
    Listen up. Don't let even a mouse through!
[14:21] Kondo
    Even if a meteor falls from the sky...
[14:23] Kondo
    ...we'll protect our Lord!
[14:28] Hijikata
    But, really, this is a lot of work with our Lord here.
[14:31] Hijikata
    The Shogun is being schooled on how to have a great night life.
[14:34] Hijikata
    Every time he does that, we're the ones who have to guard him.
[14:36] Hijikata
    I hope he understands how we feel.
[14:38] Kondo
    Our Lord is always cooped up in his castle,
[14:41] Kondo
    so our boss wants him to breathe some fresh air.
[14:44] Kondo
    Ever since our Lord's father passed away, our boss has been his substitute father.
[14:49] Hijikata
    Where on earth...
[14:50] Hijikata
    ...is there a father who takes his son to a hostess club?
[14:54] Kondo
    Well, he's more a bad influence than a father.
[14:56] Kondo
    A man needs only one bad influence rather than thousands of followers.
[15:02] ---
    Therefore, Toshi... Why don't we go in and have some drinks with Otae-san?
[15:06] Hijikata
    I don't need that kind of bad influence.
[15:13] Shinpachi
    He's the real one! He's every inch the Seii Taishogun!
[15:18] Shinpachi
    What we should do?!
[15:20] Gintoki
    Don't lose your cool! Calm down! For now, let's get his autograph.
[15:23] Gintoki
    Ah, we don't have a square card! Can we use this mat? It'll work, right?
[15:25] Shinpachi
    You're the one who needs to calm down!
[15:27] Shinpachi
    There's no way we can give this slippery mat to the Shogun!
[15:29] Gintoki
    Calm down and listen, Pachie!
[15:31] Gintoki
    If we handle this job, we'll get big money!
[15:34] Gintoki
    But, on the other hand, there'll be high risk, too!
[15:37] Gintoki
    You know, if we do anything careless, we may lose our heads!
[15:39] Shinpachi
    I just said calm down. Are you only after the money?!
[15:43] Otae
    Here we go. Another cup of sake.
[15:46] Gintoki
    Fortunately, those dull girls don't realize the truth.
[15:49] Gintoki
    Don't say anything about the Shogun.
[15:52] Gintoki
    It'll upset them and we'll fail. We need to calm down, and-
[15:55] Matsudaira
    Hey, you, the mumbling woman, come over here!
[15:58] Gintoki
    What's wrong with the mumbling girl?
[16:00] Gintoki
    A woman with a little secret is the best!
[16:02] Shinpachi
    Hey, calm down! Calm down!
[16:05] Matsudaira
    Hey, you over there with the pigtails, the person who looks like she's from a school that's going to close!
[16:08] Matsudaira
    You come here, too!
[16:10] Shinpachi
    Don't underestimate pigtails!
[16:11] Shinpachi
    At first glance, she looks a bit clunky, and nobody pays attention to her in class.
[16:15] Shinpachi
    But with a little polish she'll become pretty. A man likes that kind of woman!
[16:18] Gintoki
    Calm down, Shinpachi!
[16:19] Gintoki
    Even if you were polished, you'd be like the bell of a rusty bike!
[16:23] Matsudaira
    Hmm... Looks like we have enough people now.
[16:26] Gintoki (M)
    Be patient.
[16:28] Shinpachi (M)
    You, too.
[16:29] Matsudaira
    Well, I'm getting drunk, so it's about time to...
[16:33] Matsudaira
    ...start the Shogun-sama game!
[16:38] Shinpachi
    Shogun-sama game?
[16:40] Matsudaira
    Let me explain the rules.
[16:41] Matsudaira
    The Shogun-sama game
[16:43] Matsudaira
    starts with writing numbers and the name "Shogun" on wooden chopsticks.
[16:46] Matsudaira
    The one who draws the stick with "Shogun" on it
[16:49] Matsudaira
    can give dirty commands to another person, who can't refuse.
[16:53] Matsudaira
    It's a game for adults only. Or it's like a king game.
[16:57] Otae
    Ah-ha, Matsudaira-san,
[16:59] Otae
    you're using this game to cover up the fact that you're doing something dirty, right?
[17:03] Matsudaira
    No, no. I'll just be a facilitator this time. Well, young people can have fun.
[17:09] ---
    Let's see who gets the Shogun-sama stick!
[17:13] Shinpachi (M)
    Well... I mean...
[17:14] ---
    Shogun-sama is right here...
[17:16] Matsudaira
    All right, let's begin. Draw a stick. First come, first-served...
[17:37] Shinpachi (M)
    Really... They have no intention of entertaining the customers.
[17:41] Shinpachi (M)
    They're just focused on their own desires.
[17:44] Gintoki
    But this is a big chance, Pachie.
[17:47] Gintoki
    If we let the real Shogun become the Shogun in the game, he'll thoroughly enjoy it.
[17:52] Shinpachi
    I know, Pako-san.
[17:54] Shinpachi
    Oh, my!
[17:55] Shinpachi
    Hold on a second. The sticks are a real mess now.
[17:58] Shinpachi
    Oh, well, I'll hold the sticks, so everyone get over here when I give the signal.
[18:03] Shinpachi
    Start!
[18:05] Shinpachi (M)
    Shogun, pick the right one!
[18:09] Shinpachi (M)
    What?!
[18:11] Shinpachi (M)
    Tsk. Too fast!
[18:13] Shinpachi (M)
    The Shogun stick... Who has it?
[18:15] Gintoki
    Ah, I'm the Shogun!
[18:17] Shinpachi (M)
    Pako-san...
[18:18] Shinpachi (M)
    He's great! He sensed everyone's movements and picked the Shogun stick.
[18:23] ---
    But if Pako-san is the Shogun, it's not going to work.
[18:26] Gintoki
    Let's see... the person who picked number 4, strip down to your underwear.
[18:31] Shinpachi (M)
    I see! This order will make everyone visually entertained, not just Shogun-sama.
[18:36] Shinpachi (M)
    What a great idea!
[18:38] Gintoki/Shinpachi (M)
    Shogun-sama was the one?!
[18:41] Gintoki (M)
    This is bad. Why did he draw number 4, stupid Lord?!
[18:44] Gintoki (M)
    This is really bad. He's definitely upset.
[18:46] Gintoki (M)
    Please forgive me. I didn't mean to do it.
[18:48] Gintoki (M)
    And on this day he happens to be wearing briefs. That just adds to his shame!
[18:53] Shogun
    The Shogun family traditionally wears manly briefs.
[18:56] Gintoki (M)
    This is really bad. He heard me. And he even said that he wears those every day!
[18:59] Shinpachi
    Anyway, we have to get him dressed and out of that underwear situation. Or we'll be exiled.
[19:03] Gintoki
    Either you or me must get the Shogun stick and-
[19:06] Kagura
    Whoa! I lost again.
[19:08] Shinpachi
    Hey! Why did you start the second round on your own?!
[19:11] Otae
    I got it! I'm the Shogun!
[19:14] Shinpachi
    These guys are just enjoying the game!
[19:16] Shinpachi
    They don't care about the Shogun!
[19:17] Otae
    Well, let me see...
[19:20] ---
    Then my order is...
[19:22] ---
    Number 3, give the person who looks the coldest your kimono.
[19:28] Shinpachi (M)
    ...Sis...
[19:31] Shinpachi (M)
    Sis! You're great! You really care about the customers first!
[19:36] Shinpachi (M)
    You're a professional! You're a true pro!
[19:39] Gintoki/Shinpachi (M)
    Shogun, again?!
[19:41] Gintoki (M)
    This is bad. It's been blurred out!
[19:43] Gintoki (M)
    And the Shogun's not a Shogun. It's like a foot soldier's size!
[19:47] Shogun
    The Shogun family has traditionally been the size of a foot soldier.
[19:50] Gintoki (M)
    Damn it. He heard me. We'll definitely be beheaded now.
[19:54] Gintoki
    Pachie, let's give up on all the kimonos whatsoever.
[19:56] Gintoki
    As we can see, there's nothing to lose.
[19:59] Gintoki
    It can't get any worse than this. Things can only get better.
[20:01] Sachan
    Hey...
[20:02] Sachan
    This is really stinky, so can I take it off?
[20:05] Gintoki
    There is something worse...
[20:06] Shinpachi
    Oh-oh! Shogun has grown teary-eyed. Is he crying? He's crying, isn't he?
[20:11] Gintoki
    Hey, hey, hey! This is bad! It's like he's getting bullied!
[20:16] Gintoki
    I remember somebody who cried just like that in my class!
[20:18] Shinpachi
    This game is getting really bad...
[20:20] Gintoki
    Those girls...!
[20:22] Sachan
    Finally, my time has come. I have only one desire...for Gin-san to have se-
[20:27] Otae
    Use the numbers, fool!
[20:29] Sachan
    You hurt me, Otae-san.
[20:31] Sachan
    Do you think you can get away with doing that to the Shogun?
[20:34] Sachan
    I'll remember this!
[20:35] Otae
    Try it if you can!
[20:37] Sachan
    Boxers... Number 5, go buy some boxers.
[20:42] Shinpachi (M)
    Sachan-san... You... could it be... You're doing this for the Shogun?
[20:48] Gintoki/Shinpachi (M)
    As we thought...the Shogun, again!
[20:51] Kondo
    Our Lord... I wonder if he's having a great time right now.
[20:55] Hijikata
    Who knows...
[20:56] Kondo
    I hope he didn't fall in love with Otae-san.
[21:01] Kondo
    My Lord!
[21:02] Kondo
    Why are you naked?!
[21:07] Kondo
    Ah, my Lord.
[21:09] Gintoki
    Damn it. Things are getting even worse.
[21:11] Kondo
    You bastard! What did you do to our Lord?!
[21:15] Kondo
    Attention everyone! Follow our Lord!
[21:24] Gintoki
    Hey, wait!
[21:27] Kagura
    Quickly draw!
[21:28] Gintoki
    You guys are still doing that? You better stop it!
SIGN    [SHOGUN]
[21:38] Kagura
    Shogun-sama, give us a command, anything you want.
[21:49] Shinsengumi Member
    Chief!
[21:51] Shinsengumi Member
    The hostesses are headed this way!
SIGN    [Oedo Mart]
[22:12] Kyubei
    My Lord...
[22:15] Kyubei
    I brought underwear.
[22:19] Kyubei
    ...Um...about all the rude things we did...
[22:23] Shogun
    That's all right.
[22:26] Shogun
    I had fun.
[22:30] Shogun
    I'll ask Katakuriko to take me there again. So can you play with me again?
[24:15] Kozenigata
    Do you know the origin of the word "hard-boiled?"
SIGN    
[24:18] Kozenigata
    It comes from hard-boiled eggs. Right...
[24:20] Kozenigata
    The moon tonight looks "hard-boiled."
[24:23] Kozenigata
    Master... I'll have a Camus on the rocks.
SIGN    
[24:26] Kozenigata
    The next episode... "Hard-boiled Egg on a Man's Heart."
SIGN    [Hard-boiled detective... Heiji Kozenigata]
SIGN    [The legendary thief, Chogoro the Foxfire. A fateful confrontation with him?!]
[24:42] Kozenigata
    Hard-boiled Detective is coming up next.