231 - When you go to a funeral for the first time, you're surprised by how happy the people are

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    The beloved owner of the local restaurant will be sorely missed by everyone.
SIGN    That is why this episode of Gintama will be a solemn and dignified affair.
SIGN    Closed during this period of mourning. - Restaurant Owner
[01:48] Gin
    Our condolences.
[01:50] A
    I'm so glad everyone from Odd
    Jobs came to see him off.
[01:53] Gin
    Don't say that.
[01:55] Gin
    We owe him too much to skip his funeral.
[01:58] A
    You're too kind...
[02:01] Shin
    No, your husband would still feed
    us when we were completely broke.
[02:06] Kagura
    I loved his sukonbu on rice.
[02:09] Gin
    It's so sad...
[02:10] Gin
    I'll never get to try his
    Uji Kintoki on rice again.
[02:14] A
    Stop it. This isn't like you.
[02:16] A
    You all know that he hated
    it when people were gloomy.
[02:19] A
    We should send him off with a smile,
    in honor of his fun-loving ways.
[02:24] A
    I'm sure that's what he would want.
[02:27] Gin
    You're right...
[02:28] Gin
    Sorry about that.
SIGN    When You Go to a Funeral for the First Time, You're Surprised By How Happy the People Are
[02:35] Shin
    A lot of people came.
[02:37] Gin
    Yeah.
[02:38] Gin
    Just goes to show how
    good of a person he was.
[02:41] Gin
    There aren't many restaurants that
    serve food tailored to each customer.
[02:46] Gin
    He didn't make much money,
[02:48] Gin
    but it earned him something
    that money could never buy...
[02:50] Toshi
    Owner!
[02:52] Toshi
    Why? Why did you have to die so soon?
[02:55] Toshi
    Why?!
[02:58] Kondo
    Toshi, calm down.
[02:59] Kondo
    His spirit is watching us.
[03:00] Toshi
    Owner, your body may have perished,
[03:03] Toshi
    but the taste of your Hijikata
    Special will never die!
[03:08] Shin
    I see some familiar faces...
[03:11] Gin
    Right...
[03:13] Gin
    He also used to come here.
[03:17] Shin
    Uh, Gin-san?
[03:19] Shin
    Please don't start a fight here.
[03:30] Toshi
    A tragic loss...
[03:33] Gin
    Yeah, another one of Edo's
    treasures has been lost.
[03:37] Shin
    What?
[03:38] Shin
    Why are they behaving themselves today?
[03:41] Kagura
    They must be really hurting.
[03:43] Kondo
    The owner was one of the few people
[03:44] Kondo
    who was able to understand
    their bizarre sense of taste.
[03:46] Kondo
    We should be respectful of their wishes.
[03:53] A
    Namo Amita Buddha Namo Amita Buddha
[04:02] A
    Nammy Amita Buddha
[04:06] A
    Jam Amita Buddha Sam Amita Buddha...
[04:10] Shin
    The monk is kind of fooling around.
[04:14] Shin
    I hope he doesn't get hit by lightning.
[04:19] A
    Nemo Amigo Budapest
[04:23] A
    NAFTA Amsterdam Budweiser...
[04:33] Shin
    Ow! What are you doing, Gin-san?!
[04:35] Gin
    Hey, look!
[04:37] Gin
    Over there! Look!
[04:40] Shin
    What do you mean?
[04:41] Gin
    No, over there!
[04:42] Gin
    Look at that!
[04:43] Shin
    Could you pipe down?
[04:44] Shin
    Don't make a scene!
[04:46] Gin
    No, no, no! Look at that!
[04:48] Gin
    Just look!
[04:50] Kagura
    This is embarrassing.
[04:51] Kagura
    Let's pretend we don't know him.
[04:53] Shin
    What is he doing?
[04:54] Gin
    Uh, wait...
[04:55] Kondo
    Hey! Stop it, Toshi!
[04:56] Kondo
    What are you talking about?
[04:57] Toshi
    No, no, no! Over there!
[04:59] Toshi
    Just look over there!
[05:01] Okita
    Aren't you a little old to be
    getting excited about a funeral?
[05:04] Okita
    Don't worry. We'll be holding
    a funeral for you very soon.
[05:07] Toshi
    No, no, no! Look!
[05:09] Toshi
    Just look at that!
[05:09] Toshi
    Look!
[05:10] Gin
    Can you see it?
[05:17] Toshi
    Wh-What is that?
[05:19] Toshi
    Are we the only ones who can
    see it? Is that what this is?
[05:23] Gin
    Nah, I don't think it's
    what you think it is.
[05:26] Gin
    It's probably no big
    deal. We should be okay.
[05:28] Toshi
    I-It's not okay.
[05:29] Toshi
    It is what I think it is.
[05:30] Toshi
    I mean, i-it's the owner!
[05:33] Gin
    Don't be stupid!
[05:35] Gin
    The owner is dead!
[05:36] Gin
    This is his funeral!
[05:37] Gin
    Besides, he was never this transparent!
[05:40] Gin
    He had a real distinct presence!
[05:42] Gin
    This is someone else!
[05:43] Toshi
    That's true.
[05:44] Toshi
    He certainly had a presence!
    A distinct presence!
[05:46] Toshi
    He wasn't transparent!
[05:49] Toshi
    Uh, doesn't the whole transparent
    thing seem wrong to you?
[05:51] Toshi
    Even if he isn't the owner, something's
    wrong when he's transparent.
[05:55] Gin
    Then it must be the owner.
[05:57] Gin
    You know how he couldn't hide
    what he was thinking sometimes?
[06:00] Gin
    He was so transparent.
[06:02] Toshi
    Yeah, that's true.
[06:03] Toshi
    He was.
[06:04] Toshi
    He could be transparent at times.
[06:08] Toshi
    Wait, but something's
    wrong if it is the owner.
[06:10] Toshi
    Why would the dead owner be
    sitting up there all transparent?
[06:13] Toshi
    Something's wrong...
[06:14] Gin
    Well, that must mean he's a ghost.
[06:17] Toshi
    Oh, I see now.
[06:19] Toshi
    It's a ghost.
[06:22] Shin
    Hey! What are you doing?!
[06:25] Gin
    I-I need to go to the restroom!
[06:27] Toshi
    My legs are numb from kneeling so long!
[06:29] Gin
    Let me go! What are you doing?!
[06:33] Toshi
    Hey!
[06:34] Toshi
    The owner's looking at us!
[06:35] Toshi
    He's staring right at us!
[06:36] Gin
    Oh, damn!
[06:37] Gin
    Don't look at him!
[06:38] Gin
    Pretend we can't see him!
[06:40] Toshi
    Hey! He's coming for us!
[06:41] Toshi
    The owner's coming for
    us! What do we do?!
[06:43] Gin
    Play dead! Play dead!
[06:45] Toshi
    Play dead?! He's the one who's dead!
[06:47] Toshi
    He's actually dead!
[06:49] Mom
    Hey, Tatsukichi!
[06:50] Mom
    What do you think you're doing?
[06:51] Tatsu
    What? The monk's gonna
    be at this forever!
[06:54] Mom
    Stupid! Put that way!
[06:56] Mom
    It's disrespectful!
[06:57] Tatsu
    I don't care!
[06:58] Tatsu
    He should be grateful I even
    came to this boring funeral!
[07:05] Mom
    Tatsukichi?!
[07:06] Mom
    What happened to you, Tatsukichi?!
[07:08] Mom
    I'm sorry. It appears that
    my son has gotten sick.
[07:12] Mom
    We'll have to excuse ourselves.
[07:23] Kondo
    Toshi, weren't you
    going to the restroom?
[07:25] Toshi
    N-No, I'm good now.
[07:27] Shin
    You're good now?
[07:29] Shin
    But you're both shaking.
[07:30] Shin
    It's not healthy to hold it in.
[07:32] Gin
    N-No, we're good.
[07:34] Toshi
    H-He's monitoring us.
[07:37] Toshi
    The owner returned from hell to make sure
    that his funeral goes off without a hitch.
[07:42] Gin
    This is bad.
[07:44] Gin
    If anything goes wrong
    with this funeral...
[07:47] Both
    The owner will curse us to death!
[07:49] Hiji
    Just like that monk who was reading
    weird sutras while falling asleep...
[07:53] Hiji
    Who knows what he'll do to us?!
[07:56] Gin
    This isn't funny!
[07:58] Gin
    I came here to say goodbye
    to the nice owner!
[08:02] Gin
    I'm not here to see
    that hard-boiled guy!
[08:05] A
    Excuse me. It's your
    turn to burn incense.
[08:07] Toshi
    Huh?!
[08:08] A
    It's your turn to burn incense.
[08:10] A
    The relatives have all taken their turn,
[08:12] A
    so you're the only ones left.
[08:14] Toshi
    Hey, it's already our
    turn to burn incense.
[08:18] Toshi
    What do we do?
[08:19] Gin
    Don't be absurd.
[08:20] Gin
    I'm already about to piss my pants.
[08:22] Gin
    I'm not about to try aroma
    therapy right next to him!
[08:25] Gin
    I'll have other aromas coming out of my ass!
[08:27] Gin
    And wait, how does burning incense work?
[08:29] Gin
    I know you walk up there and sprinkle
    something, but my memory's all hazy.
[08:32] Toshi
    Are you an idiot?!
    Aren't you a grown-up?!
[08:34] Toshi
    You sprinkle it three times on your
    forehead and do that, then that, and that!
[08:37] Gin
    All you're saying is
    to do that and that!
[08:39] Gin
    Your memory's just as hazy as mine!
[08:40] Toshi
    Once I'm up there, I'll remember
    what to do! I'm not like you!
[08:43] Gin
    You go first then!
[08:45] Toshi
    Hell no! You go!
[08:46] Shin
    I'll go first then.
[08:48] Shin
    Watch me, Kagura-chan.
[08:49] Gin
    Wait, Shinpachi!
[08:50] Gin
    Let's not be hasty!
[08:51] Shin
    Huh? Hasty?
[08:52] Shin
    Kagura-chan doesn't know how this
    works, so I'm going to show her.
[08:55] Gin
    Can you do it?!
[08:56] Gin
    Don't screw it up!
[08:57] Gin
    Come back alive!
[08:58] Gin
    Promise me!
[08:59] Shin
    Are you making fun of me?
[09:00] Shin
    Whatever.
[09:01] Shin
    Watch me, Kagura-chan.
SIGN    1) Bow to the relatives and monk.
[09:03] Shin
    First, you go to where the incense
    is and bow to the relatives and monk.
SIGN    2) Pay your respects to the portrait.
[09:07] Shin
    Then you kneel down before the incense
    and pay your respects to the portrait.
[09:11] Shin
    Hold the beads in your left hand and use
    your right hand to take a pinch of incense
SIGN    3) Hold the beads in your left hand and
    use your right hand to take a pinch of incense
SIGN    and brush it against your forehead before placing the incense in the burner. Do this three times.
[09:14] Shin
    and brush it against your forehead
    before placing the incense in the burner.
[09:17] Shin
    Do this three times.
SIGN    4) Pay your respects to the portrait
    again and bow to the relatives.
[09:19] Shin
    Finally, pay your respects to the
    portrait again and bow to the relatives.
[09:23] Shin
    Okay, all done.
[09:25] Shin
    Well, isn't it easy?
[09:26] Gin
    Mission complete!
[09:28] Gin
    I knew you could pull it off!
[09:30] Gin
    We'll throw a party to celebrate.
[09:31] Gin
    Put on your best clothes!
[09:32] Shin
    You're starting to piss me off.
[09:34] Shin
    What's this about? Are you
    trying to belittle me?
[09:36] Toshi
    You still have much to
    learn, in my opinion,
[09:39] Toshi
    but you look like a man now.
[09:41] Shin
    Why are you making such a
    fuss about burning incense?!
[09:43] Shin
    Did you people really
    think I couldn't do it?!
[09:45] Toshi
    Look, the owner seems happier now.
[09:49] Toshi
    I think we're gonna survive this ordeal.
[09:52] Kagura
    Okay, I'll go next.
[09:55] Gin
    Kagura, do exactly what Shinpachi did!
[09:57] Gin
    Don't screw up!
[09:58] Kagura
    I got this!
[09:59] Kagura
    I remember everything perfectly!
[10:01] Kagura
    Um, first is...
SIGN    1) Bow to the relatives and monk.
[10:04] Kagura
    Make the monk bow.
[10:06] Gin
    You're already completely off!
SIGN    2) Pay your respects to the portrait.
[10:09] Kagura
    Respect, yo!
[10:11] Kagura
    Everyone with me!
[10:13] Monk
    Yo...
[10:14] Gin
    That's not what it means!
[10:15] Gin
    You don't have to listen to her, monk!
SIGN    3) Hold the beads in your left hand and use
    your right hand to take a pinch of incense and brush
[10:17] Gin
    Monk!
SIGN    it against your forehead before placing the incense in the burner. Do this three times.
SIGN    4) Pay your respects to the portrait
    again and bow to the relatives.
[10:20] Kagura
    Respect, yo!
[10:21] Monk
    Yo...
[10:23] Gin
    Monk!
[10:25] Kagura
    Is that good enough?
[10:26] Gin
    Were you even watching Shinpachi?!
[10:29] Gin
    Who told you to turn the
    monk's head into a pulp?!
[10:31] Kagura
    My legs were numb from
    kneeling so long...
[10:34] Gin
    What do your legs have
    to do with anything?!
[10:35] Gin
    Your head is what's numb!
[10:36] Toshi
    Damn, the owner's getting mad.
[10:39] Toshi
    We need to fix this funeral!
[10:41] Toshi
    Add another step to the flowchart!
SIGN    1) Bow to the relatives and monk.
[10:42] Toshi
    After we bow to the relatives and monk,
[10:44] Toshi
    we resurrect the monk!
SIGN    2) Resurrect the monk.
[10:46] Toshi
    Then we burn incense!
SIGN    3) Kneel before the incense and pay your respects to the portrait.
[10:47] Okita
    I'll go next then.
[10:49] Toshi
    Sogo! Are you sure about this?!
[10:50] Toshi
    Can you do this?!
[10:51] Toshi
    Can you manage it?!
[10:52] Toshi
    Can I trust you?!
[10:53] Okita
    It'll be just fine.
SIGN    1) Bow to the relatives and monk.
[10:55] Okita
    I just have to follow
    your flowchart, right?
[10:59] Okita
    Bow to the relatives monkey hair.
SIGN    1) Bow to the relatives and monkey.
[11:01] Toshi
    You already screwed up!
[11:02] Toshi
    Don't screw with the flowchart!
[11:04] Toshi
    We're getting nowhere!
[11:07] Toshi
    Forget it!
[11:08] Toshi
    Forget the incense! Just
    resurrect the monk!
[11:10] Toshi
    What the hell?!
[11:13] Toshi
    Nobody told you to resurrect his hair!
[11:15] Toshi
    Nothing's changed!
[11:17] Toshi
    We just have a dead
    body with a wig on it!
[11:19] Okita
    No.
[11:20] Okita
    He looks happier now.
[11:23] Toshi
    Isn't that nice, monk.
[11:25] Toshi
    Who gives a damn?!
[11:26] Gin
    Hey! The owner's completely
    pissed off now!
[11:29] Gin
    He's gone SSJ!
[11:31] Toshi
    Prioritize the rescue of the monk!
[11:34] Toshi
    First, we resurrect the monk!
SIGN    1) Resurrect the monk.
SIGN    2) Bow to the relatives and monk.
[11:35] Toshi
    Then we bow to the relatives and monk!
[11:38] Gin
    Wait!
[11:39] Gin
    There's another dead body!
[11:40] Gin
    It's one of the relatives!
[11:41] Toshi
    Why would he die from losing his wig?!
[11:43] Toshi
    How weak is he?!
[11:44] Toshi
    And why is everyone ignoring him?!
[11:46] Toshi
    Are they trying to pretend that they
    didn't notice he was wearing a wig?!
[11:48] Toshi
    Are they trying to be nice?!
[11:49] Kondo
    That settles it.
SIGN    1) Resurrect the monk and relative.
[11:51] Kondo
    We'll have to start by resurrecting
    the monk and relative.
SIGN    2) Bow and apologize to the relatives and monk.
[11:54] Kondo
    Then we bow and apologize
    to the relatives and monk.
[11:58] Kondo
    Or else the owner's
    funeral will be a wreck.
[12:00] Kondo
    I'll take responsibility
    and get everything fixed.
[12:04] Toshi
    Kondo-san!
[12:05] Kondo
    Just watch.
[12:07] Kondo
    I'm the eldest one here, so I have
    more experience with funerals.
[12:10] Kondo
    I could burn incense in my sleep.
[12:13] Kondo
    First, resurrect the monk!
[12:15] Kondo
    Please kneel here and read the sutra.
[12:17] Toshi
    That's the bald relative!
[12:18] Kondo
    Then resurrect the relative!
[12:20] Kondo
    I apologize for the
    trouble we've caused.
[12:22] Toshi
    That's the relative's wig!
[12:24] Kondo
    And here is the fish drum.
[12:26] Toshi
    Stop torturing the monk!
[12:28] Gin
    Enough already!
[12:30] Gin
    You're making it worse!
[12:32] Toshi
    And why is the relative
    acting like he's the monk?
[12:35] Kondo
    I'm guessing he's temporarily
    lost his memories from the shock.
[12:37] Toshi
    He lost what was on top of his
    head, not what's inside his head!
[12:40] Gin
    Hey!
[12:41] Gin
    The owner is so pissed!
[12:42] Gin
    He's about to fire a Spirit Bomb!
[12:46] Gin
    Screw this!
[12:47] Gin
    You people are ruining everything!
[12:49] Toshi
    Hey, wait!
[12:50] Toshi
    You're going to run away by
    yourself?! I don't think so!
[12:52] Shin
    Hey! Wait, Gin-san!
[12:54] Shin
    The funeral isn't over...
[12:57] Gin
    Shi-Shinpachi?
[13:01] A
    Oh, what's wrong?
[13:03] B
    Their legs must be numb
    from all the kneeling.
[13:12] Both
    He took their souls!
[13:28] A
    Are your friends okay?
[13:30] Gin
    Oh, yes.
[13:31] Gin
    Their legs are numb
    after all the kneeling.
[13:33] A
    I see, but they seem to
    have completely passed out.
[13:37] Gin
    That's just a game they play.
[13:40] Gin
    They'll be fine after some
    rest, so don't worry.
[13:47] Gin
    I didn't expect him to take their souls.
[13:50] Gin
    He took their spirits instead
    of firing a Spirit Bomb.
[13:52] Toshi
    That wasn't clever.
[13:54] Toshi
    Are those really their souls?
[13:56] Gin
    They must be!
[13:57] Gin
    One of them is wearing glasses!
[13:59] Toshi
    Why is his soul wearing glasses?
[14:02] Gin
    In Shinpachi's case, his
    glasses are his soul!
[14:05] Toshi
    Anyway, we need to get their souls back.
[14:08] Gin
    How do we do that?!
[14:10] Toshi
    He was mad because we tried to leave,
[14:13] Toshi
    so we'll have to stay until
    the end of the funeral.
[14:15] Toshi
    I'm sure that if we pay our respects,
    he'll pass on and everything will be okay.
[14:19] Toshi
    The funeral's almost over.
[14:21] Toshi
    We just have to behave
    ourselves in the corner.
[14:24] Toshi
    Make sure you don't piss off the owner.
[14:27] Toshi
    Don't move an inch.
[14:29] N
    We will now carry the coffin.
[14:32] N
    May I ask the men to assist?
[14:36] B
    I believe that the family members
    are supposed to carry the head.
[14:39] C
    I'm sorry, Mitsuko-san.
    My back's been killing me.
[14:42] A
    Oh, is there anyone young who can help?
[14:45] A
    Oh, Gin-san, Hijikata-san,
[14:48] A
    could you help carry the coffin?
[14:53] Toshi
    S-Sorry, I just dislocated
    my left shoulder.
[14:57] Gin
    As you can see, I just broke my arm.
[14:59] Gin
    Sorry, Gran.
[15:01] A
    Oh, is that so?
[15:02] A
    Sorry about putting you on the spot.
[15:05] Gin
    But it must have been my imagination!
[15:07] Gin
    We'll help!
[15:07] Gin
    Please let us help!
[15:09] Gin
    Isn't that right, Hijikata-kun?!
[15:10] Toshi
    Yeah, I've always wanted
    to help carry a coffin!
[15:13] Toshi
    Isn't that right, Sakata-kun?!
[15:14] Toshi
    Shit! Can I do this?!
[15:17] Toshi
    I dislocated my left shoulder!
[15:18] Gin
    My bone is sticking out!
[15:21] Gin
    It hurts like a mother!
[15:22] Gin
    And are they even okay?!
[15:24] Gin
    He was kneading their souls together?!
[15:25] Gin
    Kneading them hard!
[15:27] A
    Can you please take his legs then,
    Sakata-san and Hijikata-san.
[15:31] Gin
    In that case, I'll do this with one arm!
[15:33] Gin
    Suck it up!
[15:34] D
    Lift it on my count.
[15:35] Toshi
    Don't screw up! It's
    over if we drop him!
[15:37] Toshi
    Focus all of my strength
    in my right arm!
[15:40] A
    Okay, ready and...
[15:43] B
    Hey! How much strength did you use?!
[15:45] B
    Uncle!
[15:46] B
    Uncle is trapped!
[15:48] D
    And the owner is also a mess!
[15:50] D
    His feet are sticking out the wrong way!
[15:52] B
    Put him back!
[15:53] B
    Put him back quick!
[15:55] D
    The owner is sticking out!
[15:58] Toshi
    Shit! Push him back
    in! Stuff him back in!
[16:00] Gin
    H-He won't fit because he's all stiff!
[16:03] D
    Don't step on him!
[16:05] D
    You're going to hell for this!
[16:07] B
    Now his leg is sticking out!
[16:09] B
    What is this?!
[16:10] B
    Is the owner practicing synchronized
    swimming in the River Styx?!
[16:13] D
    Now something else is sticking out!
[16:16] D
    What's going on?!
[16:17] Gin
    People get stiff after
    they die, I think.
[16:20] D
    But that doesn't mean
    they get a stiffie!
[16:23] B
    And it's sticking out in the
    completely wrong direction!
[16:25] B
    What's happened inside?!
[16:28] Toshi
    Hey, look!
[16:29] Toshi
    He's making soba!
[16:30] Toshi
    He's making soba out of their souls!
[16:33] Gin
    No time to waste!
[16:35] Gin
    Let's carry the coffin outside!
[16:38] Gin
    We can't move!
[16:39] A
    He's stuck!
[16:40] A
    He's stuck in the worst possible way!
[16:43] Gin
    I won't give in!
[16:45] B
    Wait! It's gonna snap!
[16:46] B
    It's gonna snap!
[16:47] Gran
    Gin-san, Hijikata-san.
[16:49] Gran
    You should be careful
    when turning corners.
[16:52] D
    Yes, yes.
[16:53] D
    Be more careful.
[16:54] B
    Don't force your way through.
[16:55] B
    You should snap the
    coffin around that way.
[16:58] Gran
    Then I'll snap it for you!
[17:00] B
    That's not what I meant!
[17:02] Gran
    You can pass through now.
[17:02] D
    You just snapped your husband's
    thing to turn a corner!
[17:06] Gran
    Oh, there's a nail loose.
[17:08] B
    Ma'am! Do you have a
    grudge or something?!
[17:10] B
    Some kind of grudge against
    your husband's joystick?!
[17:12] B
    He wasn't any good at rapid firing?!
[17:15] D
    Now the monk is sticking out!
[17:17] D
    Why is the monk inside?!
[17:19] B
    And he's still alive!
[17:20] B
    He's still reading that weird sutra!
[17:23] D
    Wait, did she snap the monk's thing?!
[17:25] D
    Now the monk is literally celibate!
[17:28] B
    It's stuck! It's stuck again!
[17:31] Gran
    I'll snap it for you!
[17:32] B
    Gran!
[17:33] Gran
    You can pass through now.
[17:36] Gran
    Oh, there's another loose nail.
[17:38] B
    Gran!
[17:39] B
    Are you mad about that funny sutra?!
[17:44] D
    Owner!
[18:01] Gin
    Floor it! Go faster!
[18:04] Toshi
    Don't tell a cop to
    break the speed limit!
[18:07] Gin
    We caught up!
[18:09] Toshi
    Pull over! There's an old man
    sticking out of your truck!
[18:12] Toshi
    It's no use. He can't hear me.
[18:13] Toshi
    I'm gonna arrest him
    later for breaking the law!
[18:16] Gin
    Hey! The owner can't
    hold on much longer!
[18:18] Gin
    Get closer to the truck!
[18:19] Gin
    I'll recover the body!
[18:21] Gin
    Gran, hold my legs!
[18:22] Gran
    Sure thing.
[18:23] Gin
    Just a little closer!
[18:27] Gin
    Why?!
[18:29] Toshi
    What's going on?!
[18:30] Toshi
    What happened in there?!
[18:32] Gin
    Uh, wait!
[18:33] Gin
    I don't want to touch that!
[18:35] Gin
    Gran, please!
[18:36] Gin
    I'll hold your legs, so can
    you grab the owner's wang?
[18:38] Gran
    Um...
[18:41] Gran
    Which one?
[18:42] Gin
    The hell is going on?!
[18:43] Gin
    There are all these dicks
    sticking out of the truck!
[18:46] Gin
    How many dicks does the owner have?!
[18:48] Gin
    How greedy was he?!
[18:49] Toshi
    No!
[18:50] Toshi
    Those are peniclams from Planet Seafood.
[18:53] Toshi
    They look very similar to the
    male organ of Earth humans,
[18:55] Toshi
    but they're known to be delicious.
[18:58] Gin
    Don't you mean dicklicious?!
[18:59] Gin
    Why are they so similar?!
[19:01] Gin
    In both name and appearance?!
[19:03] Toshi
    They must have fallen out of the box.
[19:05] Toshi
    This is bad...
[19:06] Toshi
    We can't tell which one
    is the old man's dick!
[19:09] Gin
    No, we can...
[19:11] Gin
    Gran can do it.
[19:12] Gin
    You've seen the owner's dick
    hundreds, thousands of times.
[19:16] Gin
    You should be able to tell
    which one is the real one.
[19:20] Gran
    But I...
[19:21] Gin
    Believe in yourself!
[19:23] Gin
    Believe in the dick of
    the owner you believe!
[19:25] Toshi
    What does that even mean?
[19:27] Gin
    You're the one who said we should
    send him off with a smile, not tears!
[19:30] Gin
    There's nothing to
    smile about right now!
[19:32] Toshi
    No, total strangers would
    probably laugh until they cry.
[19:35] Gin
    It's not too late!
[19:37] Gin
    Let's make this a proper
    funeral for the owner!
[19:40] Gin
    That's the only thing we can do
    as the ones who were left behind!
[19:46] Gran
    I understand. I'll give it a try.
[19:51] Gran
    Don't let your eyes fool you.
[19:54] Gran
    Use all five senses, Mitsuko...
[19:55] Gran
    Remember the smell, the ,
    the , and how it was .
[19:59] Toshi
    That's really disgusting, you know!
[20:02] Toshi
    I don't want to hear it!
[20:04] Gran*
    There it is!
[20:06] Gin
    Why did you snap it off?!
[20:08] Gin
    Gran, do you have a grudge
    against the owner's dick?!
[20:12] Gin
    Calm down!
[20:15] Toshi
    Stupid!
[20:19] Toshi
    There he is! It's the owner!
[20:22] Gin
    I want to let go, but I can't!
[20:24] Gin
    And where are you grabbing, Gran?!
[20:26] Toshi
    Hang on! I'll get closer!
[20:29] Gin
    Mine is about to snap off!
[20:30] Gin
    So is the owner's!
[20:44] N
    Odd Jobs...
[20:47] N
    Hijikata...
[20:49] N
    You guys are always so fun.
[20:53] N
    Thanks for giving me a
    funeral that was a riot.
[20:58] N
    I can leave without any regrets now.
[21:03] N
    Sorry about scaring you.
[21:06] N
    Apologize to Mitsuko and
    everyone else for me.
[21:10] N
    And so, I poured my soul, literally,
[21:14] N
    into one last meal for
    my very good friends.
[21:21] Gin
    I was wondering what the
    owner was trying to pull.
[21:25] Gin
    So he was cooking for us...
[21:27] Toshi
    Man, that guy was always weird.
[21:29] Toshi
    Nobody was going to cry at your funeral.
[21:35] Toshi
    Tears are meant...
[21:36] Gin
    ...for when you're eating good food.
[21:47] Gin
    It's damn good...
SIGN    Don't look for me.
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:30] Zura
    E-Elizabeth ran away from home?!
[23:34] Zura
    Impossible!
[23:34] Zura
    That's impossible!
[23:36] Zura
    What has Elizabeth been hiding from me?!
SIGN    The People You Tend to Forget Tend to Show Up After You Forget Them
[23:40] Gin
    Next time:
[23:41] Gin
    The people you tend to forget tend
    to show up after you forget them.
SIGN    While chasing after Elizabeth, a surprising mystery is revealed?!
SIGN    The sexy lady in the opening will appear along with that one guy who hasn't shown up in forever!!