E223 - "The man's household situation is hard, his heart is soft."
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Matsu
Nakasaki, I heard you just had a kid.
[00:04] Nakazaki
Uh, where did you hear that?
[00:06] Matsu
Is it male or female?
[00:08] Nakazaki
It's a girl.
[00:09] Matsu
Maybe I should take her.
[00:11] Nakazaki
P-Please don't...
[00:13] Matsu
Girls become independent
earlier than boys.
[00:16] Matsu
It won't be long before she
stops listening to you.
[00:20] Nakazaki
Th-That won't happen with Fuko!
[00:22] Nakazaki
I will raise her to be the
biggest father lover in Japan!
[00:25] Matsu
Yeah, that's the spirit.
[00:27] Nakazaki
Th-This is...
[00:28] Nakazaki
I-I can't accept this much money!
[00:30] Matsu
It's not for you.
[00:33] Matsu
I only spend money on fine women.
[00:35] Matsu
Let her drink the finest
milk you can find.
[00:40] Nakazaki
Th-Thank you very much!
SIGN The Man's Household Situation is Hard, His Heart is Soft
[02:18] Kuriko
How many times have I told you?!
[02:21] Kuriko
Wash my underwear
separately from Father's!
[02:25] Zura
Forgive me, ma'am.
[02:27] Kuriko
I'm going to wash them again myself!
[02:30] Kuriko
Geez!
[02:34] Zura
Oh, sir.
[02:36] Zura
I'm terribly sorry.
[02:38] Zura
I'll wash that again at once.
[02:39] Matsu
Hm? Are you the new maid?
[02:42] Matsu
What's your name?
SIGN Ichihara
[02:44] Matsu
Ichihara?
[02:45] Matsu
What's your first name?
[02:46] Matsu
Hayato? Etsuko?
[02:48] Zura
It's not Etsuko, it's Ezurako.
[02:51] Matsu
Your face looks familiar...
[02:53] Zura
It's not Zura, it's Ezurako.
[02:56] Matsu
Forget it.
[02:57] Matsu
Be careful from now on.
[02:58] Matsu
Do my laundry separate from Kuriko's.
[03:01] Matsu
And make sure we don't
eat at the same time.
[03:03] Zura
It's not Zura, it's Ezurako.
[03:05] Matsu
Yeah, just listen to
my daughter. Got it,
[03:08] Matsu
Ezurako?
[03:10] Zura
It's not Ezurako, it's Katsura.
[03:11] Matsu
What?
[03:14] Zura
Oh, I made a mistake. It's Ezurako.
[03:16] Matsu
Whatever. Just go.
[03:18] Matsu
Oof.
[03:22] Zura
The police commissioner,
Katakuriko Matsudaira.
[03:25] Zura
The man who is known as the Destroyer
[03:28] ---
to those who wish to
disrupt the order of Edo.
[03:31] Zura
The greatest foe of the Joi patriots.
[03:34] Zura
In an attempt to uncover a scandal,
[03:36] Zura
I've been working undercover
at his home for a week.
[03:38] Zura
My focus has shifted away from my
inability to learn anything useful
[03:44] Zura
to this peculiar loneliness I see.
[03:46] Zura
Is this what it means to be a father?
[03:49] Zura
If so, what is a father? What is a man?
[03:52] Zura
Who does he fight for? Who
is he trying to protect?
[04:04] Kuriko
Um...
[04:05] Kuriko
What are you doing, Ezurako-san?
[04:09] Zura
I'm terribly sorry.
[04:12] Zura
After working as a maid for so long,
[04:14] ---
I've picked up this
habit of eavesdropping.
[04:16] Kuriko
You also picked up the door.
[04:19] Zura
Please let me know if
I'm being a bother.
[04:21] Zura
I also have a graffiti version
and a mental AT Field version.
[04:26] Kuriko
Please get rid of it.
[04:27] Kuriko
You're making too much noise.
[04:30] Kuriko
Um...
[04:31] Kuriko
Sorry about yelling at you earlier.
[04:36] Zura
It's okay. I didn't mind.
[04:38] Kuriko
I said to get rid of that.
[04:39] Kuriko
Did you think you could fool me?
[04:41] Kuriko
Um, to make up for earlier,
[04:44] Kuriko
some of my friends booked
[04:47] ---
Greater Edo Hills tomorrow
for my birthday party.
[04:51] Kuriko
Would you like to come?
[04:54] Zura
Thank you very much.
[04:56] Zura
Oh, will your father also be coming?
[04:58] Kuriko
I would never invite him!
[05:00] Kuriko
Besides, he wouldn't come if I did.
[05:05] Kuriko
His birthday is very soon.
[05:07] Kuriko
I'm sure he'll celebrate it
[05:10] ---
at the usual place with all those women.
[05:13] Kuriko
It's always the same.
[05:15] Kuriko
He uses his work as an excuse
to avoid facing his family.
[05:21] Kuriko
I refuse to call that coward my father.
[05:28] Katsura
I wonder why...
[05:29] Katsura
I am starting to feel concern
for my greatest foe.
[05:33] Katsura
Is it because Matsudaira's daughter
was a nicer girl than I expected?
[05:40] Katsura
Or because I didn't want
to think that I've been
[05:43] Katsura
crossing swords with a man who
can't control his own family.
[05:47] Katsura
Sir?
[05:49] Katsura
Miss Kuriko's birthday
party is tomorrow.
[05:52] Katsura
You shouldn't be sleeping out here.
[05:53] Matsu
Man, I'm gonna hurl...
[05:56] Katsura
Miss Kuriko wanted you to come.
[05:59] Matsu
You're going to Kuriko's
birthday party, right?
[06:04] Matsu
Give that to her.
[06:06] Matsu
It'll make her happier that way.
[06:10] Katsura
Are you trying to teach her how men
[06:13] ---
are foolish, weak, and underhanded?
[06:18] Katsura
Is that your duty as a father?
[06:20] Nakazaki
Ezurako-san, that's enough!
[06:23] Nakazaki
And why are you walking
around with that board?!
[06:25] Matsu
It's fine, Nakasaki.
[06:29] Matsu
I like a maid who's willing
to speak her mind.
[06:32] Matsu
But I'm not much of a father.
[06:36] Matsu
Young people think
that men grow wiser as
[06:39] ---
they get older, but it's not true.
[06:43] Matsu
I'm just as stupid as I always was.
[06:45] Matsu
Still the same old shy kid who
can't bring myself to look
[06:51] Matsu
my precious daughter in the face,
or even talk to her.
[06:56] Matsu
I'll leave this with you.
[06:59] Zura
I was becoming more confused.
[07:01] Zura
The man spoke openly
of his own foolishness.
[07:05] Zura
Was he a big shot, or just an idiot?
[07:08] Matsu
F-Forgive me, dear!
[07:08] Zura
Crafty or innocent?
[07:11] Zura
And I was most confused
by my own behavior.
[07:18] A
Um, excuse me.
[07:20] A
You're supposed to be dressed
formally for this affair.
[07:22] Zura
And that is what I did.
[07:25] A
Um, only the left side
is dressed formally.
[07:28] A
And that's just a drawing.
[07:31] Zura
Ah, you have a problem
with me wearing a tuxedo?
[07:33] Zura
Don't worry. I also brought a dress.
[07:36] A
Um...
[07:37] A
We're not supposed to let
anyone suspicious in.
[07:40] Zura
What about me would be
considered suspicious?!
[07:42] A
Everything.
[07:43] Zura
How dare you insult me?!
[07:46] Zura
Are celebrities so special?!
[07:49] Zura
Your birthday party's probably
nothing more than an gy!
[07:52] A**
How can you say such a hateful thing?!
[07:54] Zura
A sinful gathering where you wear masks
[07:58] Zura
and put things on your sticks,
and shove them into...
[08:02] A
That's just a cheese fondue!
[08:04] Zura
Don't say that so loudly here.
[08:07] Zura
Have you no shame?!
[08:09] A
You're the one who's
having naughty thoughts
[08:11] ---
about a cheese fondue!
[08:12] Nakazaki
Oh, sorry.
[08:15] Nakazaki
She's with me.
[08:17] Katsura
Ah, Nakasaki-san.
[08:19] Nakazaki
I'm here in place of the commissioner.
[08:21] Zura
I see...
[08:23] Zura
So he isn't coming.
[08:24] Kuriko
Ah! Ezurako-san! Nakasaki-san!
[08:27] Kuriko
You came to the party!
[08:29] Kuriko
I'm so happy!
[08:31] Kuriko
Now come inside!
[08:41] Nakazaki
What is this?!
[08:42] Nakazaki
What's happening?!
[08:44] Nakazaki
Did the system malfunction?!
[08:46] Zura
No...
[08:53] Zura
It's a terrorist attack.
SIGN Incoming Call from Kuriko
[08:56] Matsu
Hello?
[08:58] Leader
Is this Katakuriko Matsudaira?
[09:00] Leader
Your daughter's life is in our hands.
[09:03] Leader
The Blues Crew has taken
control of Greater Edo Hills.
[09:08] Leader
If you value your daughter's life,
[09:10] ---
you'll listen to our demands.
[09:14] Leader
Hey, can you hear me?
[09:16] A
Is somebody in there?
[09:18] A
That's weird. It sure stinks.
[09:27] Matsu
Can't you let a man
take a dump in peace?
[09:34] Nakazaki
What?
[09:35] Zura
That's...
[09:39] Nakazaki
Th-The commissioner!
[09:42] Zura
So he did come.
[09:44] Nakazaki
What are you doing up there?!
[09:49] Matsu
I appreciate it, Ezurako.
[09:51] Matsu
Thanks to you, I won't be late.
[09:55] Nakazaki
Wh-Where are you going, Commissioner?!
[09:59] Zura
That was no longer the frail back
[10:01] ---
of an old man washing underwear.
[10:03] Zura
That was the stalwart back
of the Destroyer we feared.
[10:12] Yamazaki
The hostages include the children of
[10:14] ---
various Bakufu officials
along with Kuriko-chan.
[10:17] Yamazaki
The Blues Crew must have learned about
[10:20] ---
this party and planned the attack.
[10:23] Hijikata
I remember that some of
their members were arrested
[10:27] Hijikata
for plotting to assassinate the boss.
[10:29] Yamazaki
They're demanding that
those members be released.
[10:31] Yamazaki
And they also want the boss's head.
[10:34] Yamazaki
If we don't agree to their demands,
[10:36] Yamazaki
they'll start killing a
hostage every thirty minutes.
[10:39] Hijikata
I'll go negotiate and
try to buy us some time.
[10:43] Hijikata
You guys need to find a way inside.
[10:45] All
Yes, sir!
[10:47] Hijikata
And Yamazaki,
[10:48] Hijikata
did you get a hold of the boss?
[10:50] Yamazaki
His phone's been busy the whole time.
[10:53] Hijikata
Damn that old fart.
[10:55] Hijikata
What's he doing?
[10:57] Matsu
Hello? Ane-chan?
[11:00] Matsu
Sorry.
[11:01] Matsu
I won't be able to join you tonight.
[11:03] Matsu
Right now? I'm in a duct.
[11:05] Matsu
No, I didn't change careers.
[11:09] Matsu
I'm devoted to you, Ane-chan.
[11:14] Matsu
Oh, sorry. I got another call.
[11:16] Matsu
My men are so annoying.
[11:19] Matsu
Buh-bye.
[11:21] Nakazaki
Ah, he finally answered the phone!
[11:22] Nakazaki
Are you okay, Commissioner?!
[11:23] Matsu
How many times did you
call me, you fool?!
[11:26] Matsu
Don't call my phone when
I'm in terrorist territory.
[11:30] Matsu
You're terrorizing my
conversation with Ane-chan!
[11:33] Nakazaki
You have no right to talk when you're
[11:35] Nakazaki
calling female escorts while
sneaking up on terrorists!
[11:37] Matsu
I was just settling matters
so the women left behind
[11:40] ---
in this cruel world don't grieve.
[11:42] Matsu
When a man dies, everyone
should be wearing pure white.
[11:45] Matsu
I have fifty more girls
to call, so hold on.
[11:48] Nakazaki
It's too late to clean up your act!
[11:50] Nakazaki
Your soul is completely black!
[11:51] Nakazaki
Anyway, Hijikata-san and the other men
will be entering the building soon.
[11:54] Nakazaki
Don't do anything hasty.
[11:56] Zura
No, we can't wait for them.
[11:59] Nakazaki
Ezurako-san?
[12:00] Zura
They've taken over the security system.
[12:02] Zura
It won't be easy to
approach the building.
[12:04] Nakazaki
Huh? Then we shouldn't be here.
[12:07] Zura
I put something in this
car to jam their radar.
[12:13] Zura
And I did the same thing
to Matsudaira's present.
[12:18] Nakazaki
You're...
[12:20] Zura
I happen to be acquainted
with Edo's top tinkerer.
[12:24] Zura
In three hours, they'll
begin executing hostages.
[12:26] Matsu
In other words, I need to end
their lives before they end mine.
[12:33] Zura
Exactly.
[12:35] Nakazaki
Ezurako-san!
[12:36] Zura
But you won't be able to do it
[12:38] ---
by recklessly wandering around alone.
[12:40] Zura
I'll assist you.
[12:45] Matsu
I knew something was fishy.
[12:47] Matsu
You're no ordinary maid.
[12:50] Zura
I'm just an ordinary maid
[12:52] Zura
who enjoys eavesdropping.
[12:55] Leader
How are negotiations going?
[12:57] A
It'll take a day to secure
the release of our brethren.
[13:01] Leader
They're obviously trying to buy time.
[13:03] Leader
Tell them this.
[13:04] Leader
We aren't giving them any more time.
[13:06] A
Yes, sir.
[13:07] Leader
And one more thing.
[13:10] Leader
Tell them that Matsudaira's
life is already ours,
[13:14] Leader
though, technically, we still have to go
[13:15] ---
through the formality
of taking it from him.
[13:17] Leader
I didn't expect him to sneak in
by himself to save his daughter.
[13:22] Kuriko
H-He won't come!
[13:25] Kuriko
He would never try to save me...
[13:28] Leader
Don't make a fuss. You'll
be seeing him real soon.
[13:31] Leader
We'll have him tied
up with a red ribbon.
[13:36] Zura
Listen up. They're holed up in the
[13:39] ---
main control room on the top floor.
[13:41] Zura
You're on the 9th floor.
[13:43] Zura
Every floor from the 10th
up is packed with guards.
[13:46] Matsu
I see. So this marker
on the 9th floor is me.
[13:49] Matsu
Wait a moment!
[13:50] Matsu
Why did you use this symbol for me?!
[13:52] Zura
Don't get the wrong idea.
[13:53] Zura
That's the tip of an ice cream cone.
[13:56] Zura
And the three markers on
the 10th floor are enemies.
[13:59] Matsu
Why do they get cones when I don't?
[14:02] Zura
Otherwise, you wouldn't be
able to tell friend from foe.
[14:04] Matsu
Give me a cone!
[14:06] Matsu
I love to suck the last bit of ice
cream out of the end of a cone.
[14:09] Katsura
Fine, I'll put corn in your poop.
[14:12] Matsu
I said cone, not corn!
[14:14] Matsu
And you said poop. You just
admitted that it's poop.
[14:16] Nakazaki
Uh, does it really matter?!
[14:18] Zura
In any case, you need to avoid those
[14:20] Zura
ice cream cones as you make
your way to the 50th floor.
[14:23] Zura
Look carefully.
[14:25] Zura
The tip of the ice cream is
tipping left and right, yes?
[14:29] Zura
The tip indicates the
direction they're facing.
[14:31] Zura
When the three tips are tipping
in the same direction,
[14:35] Zura
you should tip past them.
[14:37] Nakazaki
That's too complicated!
[14:38] Nakazaki
Why do you have to use
the word tip so much?!
[14:43] Nakazaki
Ah, hold on...
[14:44] Nakazaki
There's an ice cream cone coming down!
[14:47] Zura
What?! It's tipping like crazy!
[14:49] Zura
Is it in a hurry?
[14:51] Nakazaki
10th floor... He didn't get off!
[14:53] Nakazaki
Has he noticed that the
commissioner's on the 9th floor?
[14:56] Zura
Hide quick!
[14:58] Nakazaki
Oh, no!
[14:59] Nakazaki
Huh?!
[14:59] Nakazaki
W-Wait!
[15:00] Nakazaki
The ice cream cone split in two!
[15:03] Zura
What's going on up there?
[15:05] Matsu
A guy ran off somewhere.
[15:07] Nakazaki
But the ice cream's
still in the elevator!
[15:11] Nakazaki
He just pooped his pants!
[15:13] Zura
Apparently, both people and poop
[15:16] ---
are registered under
the ice cream marker.
[15:18] Nakazaki
Why is poop even registered
on your scanner?!
[15:20] Matsu
And why am I not registered as a human?!
[15:24] Zura
He took the elevator
down to find a bathroom,
[15:27] Zura
but he couldn't hold it
in and had to sparking!
[15:30] Zura
Look.
[15:31] Zura
The cone is becoming wet.
[15:34] Zura
Is he wiping his ass?
[15:36] Matsu
No, he's probably crying.
[15:38] Zura
Wait, I thought that there were
only enemies above you, but...
[15:42] Nakazaki
It's mostly poop up there!
[15:44] Zura
I can no longer tell which
are human and which are poop.
[15:48] Matsu
When I blew up that bathroom,
I probably burst the water main.
[15:52] Matsu
They can no longer take
care of their business.
[15:55] Nakazaki
Still, this is too many!
[15:57] Zura
However, we can use this
situation to our advantage.
[16:00] Zura
Look!
[16:02] Nakazaki
Th-This is...
[16:03] Zura
They're all running down in
search of clean restrooms!
[16:07] Nakazaki
They really need to take a shit!
[16:09] Zura
They're using the stairs.
[16:11] Zura
This is your chance to
take the elevator up!
[16:14] Nakazaki
Hold on!
[16:15] Nakazaki
The wet cone is racing to the
elevator at a crazy speed!
[16:19] Nakazaki
Did he notice the commissioner?
[16:21] Zura
No, now that he's calmed down,
[16:24] Zura
he's returning for his underwear
so he can destroy the evidence.
[16:27] Zura
Hurry, Matsudaira!
[16:30] Zura
He made it in time.
[16:31] Zura
Th-That's...!
[16:33] Zura
He's hanging on to the
bottom of the elevator!
[16:35] Zura
He is dedicated to his underwear!
[16:38] Zura
He really doesn't want
anyone to find out!
[16:40] Nakazaki
Commissioner! The cone is below you!
[16:43] Nakazaki
And which one is the commissioner?!
[16:45] Zura
Ah! The cone is using the pointy
edge to try to break through!
[16:50] Nakazaki
Uh, what pointy edge?
[16:52] Nakazaki
That's just a marker!
[16:54] Zura
What?!
[16:55] Zura
He penetrated the poop!
[16:56] Nakazaki
Wait, is that the commissioner?!
[16:58] Nakazaki
Or is it the poop?!
[16:59] Nakazaki
Which is it?!
[17:00] Zura
He's trying to drag Matsudaira off!
[17:05] Zura
Oh! Saved at the last second!
[17:08] Nakazaki
How?!
[17:09] Nakazaki
How can poop save him?!
[17:11] Zura
Is that actually Matsudaira?
[17:14] Zura
Ah! The cone con finally
cornered himself and fell!
[17:18] Nakazaki
Why was he trying so hard to protect
a pair of dirty underwear?!
[17:21] Zura
This is bad.
[17:22] Zura
The Ice Cream Gang has noticed
that something is wrong!
[17:24] Zura
When he makes it to the
top, he'll be gunned down!
[17:28] Nakazaki
They split up! What the hell?!
[17:31] Nakazaki
How the hell are two turds
moving around independently?!
[17:35] Zura
It's going to draw their attention
[17:37] ---
so Matsudaira can make it to the top!
[17:39] Nakazaki
It's just a pair of
underwear with poop on it!
[17:41] Nakazaki
How did it turn into the
commissioner's partner?!
[17:44] Nakazaki
Look!
[17:44] Nakazaki
The Ice Cream Gang is ignoring the
[17:46] ---
underwear and gathering
on the 50th floor!
[17:47] Nakazaki
No shit, Sherlock!
[17:48] Nakazaki
He's completely trapped!
[18:00] Hijikata
What?!
[18:03] Zura
The ice cream cones are disappearing.
[18:06] Nakazaki
This poop was actually the diversion...?
[18:18] Matsu
Happy birthday to you.
[18:27] Nakazaki
He really took out all of
the terrorists by himself...
[18:31] Zura
No, there's one cone left.
[18:38] Matsu
Sorry about that.
[18:40] Matsu
Your precious underwear
and squad are all gone.
[18:45] Leader
No, I should thank you.
[18:48] Leader
No one will know now.
[18:53] Leader
You're placing your duty as a
cop over your duty as a father?!
[18:57] Matsu
Well, you can't call yourself a father
[19:00] Matsu
if you don't mind your daughter
being used as a shield.
[19:04] Matsu
But you can't even call
yourself a man if you let
[19:07] Matsu
someone who hurt your daughter
walk away unscathed.
[19:10] Matsu
A father's duty isn't much to speak of.
[19:13] Matsu
Kids are raised fine by their mothers.
[19:17] Matsu
As long as I'm bringing in
money, I have no other use.
[19:23] Matsu
All that's left is to praise her
when she does something good,
[19:27] Matsu
and scold her when she
does something bad.
[19:31] Matsu
That's about it.
[19:34] Matsu
This fist represents my duty
as a police commissioner
[19:38] Matsu
and a lousy Edo dad.
[19:44] Leader
That's...!
[19:46] Leader
My...
[19:47] Leader
My underwear is still around!
[19:50] Matsu
The decoy was my own underwear.
[19:54] Matsu
I have one thing to say
to you as a father.
[20:00] Matsu
Wash your own
[20:06] Matsu
shitty underwear!
[20:15] Zura
What a waste.
[20:17] Zura
This was your chance to
score some points with her.
[20:20] Zura
She won't remember a thing.
[20:22] Matsu
I'm fine with playing
the role of a lousy dad
[20:26] Matsu
since it's easy.
[20:28] Zura
Open the box.
[20:30] Zura
It's not your present.
[20:32] Zura
I found it when I was cleaning
your daughter's room.
[20:38] Zura
She was probably going to give
it to you if you showed up.
SIGN Happy Birthday Father
[20:43] Zura
Don't worry.
[20:45] Zura
I left your present in its place.
[20:48] Matsu
How is that supposed
to make me feel better?
[20:50] Matsu
A maid who goes into my daughter's
room without permission
[20:54] ---
gets fired on the spot.
[20:56] Matsu
Nakasaki!
[20:57] Nakazaki
Yes, sir!
[20:58] Matsu
Dump this rotten maid in a ditch.
[21:01] Nakazaki
Understood.
[21:02] Nakazaki
I'll dump the maid in a ditch
where the police won't notice.
[21:05] Matsu
Stop yapping and leave!
[21:07] Nakazaki
Yes, sir!
[21:08] Matsu
The next time we meet, you'll
meet more than my fist, Katsura.
[21:14] Zura
I wouldn't have it any other way.
[21:17] Zura
The police commissioner,
Katakuriko Matsudaira.
SIGN Matsudaira
[21:20] Zura
The greatest foe of the Joi patriots.
[21:25] Maid
Stop that, sir!
[21:27] Zura
It doesn't matter if he doesn't
feel welcome in his own home.
[21:28] Maid
I can do the laundry!
[21:29] Zura
The world is his home.
[21:30] Matsu
Forget it. I'll do this.
[21:32] Zura
And so he goes off to work again.
[21:33] Maid
Oh, Miss Kuriko.
[21:36] Maid
That's a lovely hairpin.
[21:39] Zura
However, I have seen on display
[21:42] Zura
the bond between father and daughter
as they stand back to back.
[21:48] Zura
As well as the dignity of
a so-called lousy father.
[21:52] Zura
Katakuriko Matsudaira.
[21:55] Zura
You make a fitting opponent.
SIGN Next Episode: Blue and Red Ecstasy
[23:30] Gin
Next time:
[23:31] Gin
Blue and Red Ecstasy.
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