E148 - Zip Up Your Fly Nice and Slowly
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:45] Hijikata
This is...
[01:59] Okita
You're awake?
[02:02] Okita
I think we screwed up.
[02:07] Hijikata
Ow.
[02:08] Hijikata
I can't remember anything.
[02:10] Hijikata
Feels like I was hit in the head.
[02:14] Hijikata
What happened?
[02:15] Hijikata
Where are we?
[02:17] Hijikata
Why are we chained up in here?
[02:20] Okita
You don't remember, Hijikata-san?
[02:23] Okita
Someone attacked us from behind during our night patrol...
[02:31] Hijikata
Bastard...
[02:36] Hijikata
So we've been captured.
[02:39] Okita
Yes.
[02:40] Okita
Since the moon is out again, we've probably been out for a whole day.
[02:44] Okita
I don't know where we are.
[02:47] Okita
Probably a room in some ruin.
[02:49] Okita
We're definitely somewhere remote of human life.
[02:52] Okita
I yelled at the top of my lungs and got no response.
[02:55] Okita
In fact, I can't even sense the presence of other people.
[02:58] Okita
It appears that the people who captured us aren't around either.
[03:02] Hijikata
Damn it!
[03:03] Hijikata
We've really lost our edge.
[03:05] Hijikata
Who the hell did this?!
[03:08] Jigzaw
It appears you understand your current situation...
[03:11] Jigzaw
Shinsengumi Vice-Chief Toshiro Hijikata-kun...
[03:14] Jigzaw
And 1st Division Captain Sogo Okita-kun.
[03:17] Hijikata
Who the hell are you?
[03:19] Jigzaw
Pleased to meet you.
[03:21] Jigzaw
My name is Jigzaw.
SIGN ["Zip Up Your Fly Nice and Slowly."]
[03:31] Jigzaw
Hijikata-kun and Okita-kun, welcome to my game of death.
[03:35] Hijikata
Jigzaw?
[03:37] Hijikata
You're the one who's behind this crap?
[03:39] Hijikata
Another Anti-foreigner Faction?
[03:40] Hijikata
You must be one hell of a coward to hide behind a mask on that monitor.
[03:46] Jigzaw
Your barking befits a government dog, Hijikata-kun.
[03:51] Jigzaw
Your current look becomes you.
[03:54] Jigzaw
But you shouldn't be snarling at me right now.
[03:58] Jigzaw
Shouldn't you be wagging your tail and begging for your life?
[04:03] Hijikata
What was that?!
[04:05] Hijikata
Get your ass down here!
[04:08] Jigzaw
A mere joke. No need to throw a hissy fit.
[04:11] Jigzaw
I merely wanted to imitate those patriots.
[04:16] Jigzaw
Too bad, Hijikata-kun.
[04:19] Jigzaw
I am not one of those barbaric Anti-foreigner Faction members.
[04:22] Jigzaw
I hold no grudge against the Shinsengumi,
[04:26] Jigzaw
and I have no reason to oppose you.
[04:29] Jigzaw
I just happen to be a fan.
[04:32] Jigzaw
I always see the exploits of the Shinsengumi on TV and in the newspaper.
[04:38] Jigzaw
You and your comrades have endured all sorts of hardship because of your trust in one another.
[04:45] Jigzaw
An iron bond that cannot be broken.
[04:48] Jigzaw
Yes, that bond is your strongest weapon.
[04:52] Jigzaw
That is what has drawn my intense attraction.
[04:55] Jigzaw
A true fan would want to see it in person.
[05:01] Jigzaw
Sorry about the short notice, but I have an announcement to make.
[05:03] Jigzaw
In three days, in other words, in 72 hours at 7 PM,
[05:08] Jigzaw
the Shinsengumi station where your comrades are
[05:11] Jigzaw
will be blown to smithereens by a time bomb I have placed.
[05:18] Jigzaw
The bomb has been placed in the communications room.
[05:21] Jigzaw
You are the only ones who know.
[05:24] Jigzaw
Which would mean that you're the only ones who can stop it.
[05:28] Hijikata
Wh-What are you trying to...
[05:32] Jigzaw
This is a game.
[05:34] Jigzaw
I want to play a game to test how strong your bond is.
[05:40] Jigzaw
You are the only ones who can save your comrades.
[05:42] Jigzaw
But first, you need to break those chains and escape from this room.
[05:50] Jigzaw
Don't worry. This is a game.
[05:53] Jigzaw
A game with no goal is no fun.
[05:56] Jigzaw
I've prepared a goal.
[05:59] Jigzaw
There's a passageway under this monitor.
[06:02] Jigzaw
I've placed the key at the end of the passage.
[06:06] Jigzaw
Of course, I'm talking about the key to undo your chains.
[06:13] Hijikata
This is as far as the chain goes.
[06:15] Hijikata
We can't reach back there.
[06:17] Hijikata
Stop messing with us!
[06:18] Hijikata
How are we supposed to get back there?!
[06:21] Jigzaw
The two of you are bound by one chain that's wound around a pipe.
[06:25] Jigzaw
If one of you pulls on the chain, it becomes shorter for the other side.
[06:31] Jigzaw
If one of you retreats against the wall and the other one pulls the chain as far as possible,
[06:38] Jigzaw
you may be able to reach it.
[06:41] Hijikata
Stop giving me crap!
[06:47] Hijikata
I'm on the wall! On the wall!
[06:48] Hijikata
Sogo! You bastard!
[06:50] Hijikata
What are you doing?!
[06:52] Okita
Hijikata-san, could you press against the wall more?
[06:54] Okita
I'm almost there.
[06:56] Hijikata
Don't be stupid!
[06:57] Hijikata
Are you trying to crush me to death?!
[06:59] Hijikata
You're not going to reach it!
[07:00] Hijikata
He's tricking you!
[07:02] Hijikata
That guy just wants to have fun toying with us!
[07:05] Hijikata
The bomb at the station could just be a lie!
[07:08] Hijikata
Calm down for a second!
[07:10] Jigzaw
Hijikata-kun, you're free to believe me or not,
[07:15] Jigzaw
but that key is the only way out of here for you two.
[07:21] Jigzaw
I apologize.
[07:23] Jigzaw
I need to correct myself.
[07:25] Jigzaw
That key is the only way out of here for one of you.
[07:32] Hijikata
One... of us?
[07:35] Hijikata
What do you mean?
[07:38] Jigzaw
Those shackles on you contain a bomb set to go off under a certain condition.
[07:46] Jigzaw
The condition for explosion is the unlocking of the other person's shackles.
[07:53] Jigzaw
Once one bomb has been disarmed, a signal will be sent to the other bomb to detonate.
[08:02] Jigzaw
In other words, if you don't obtain the key first, unlock your shackles, and disarm the bomb,
[08:08] Jigzaw
whoever's left will...
[08:10] Jigzaw
die.
[08:17] Okita
Hijikata-san, didn't you say that we shouldn't let him toy with us?
[08:20] Hijikata
There's nothing wrong with playing along once in a while!
[08:23] Hijikata
It wasn't easy making it big in the city after moving from the country!
[08:27] Jigzaw
It appears that you've woken up, Hijitaka-kun.
[08:30] Jigzaw
In order to save your precious comrades, you must first kill one of your precious comrades here.
[08:37] Hijikata
Y-You bastard!
[08:41] Jigzaw
Why don't you show me how your bond will guide you through this trial?
[08:52] Mom
Hiro-kun! Dinner's ready!
[08:56] Hijikata
Hey! Why'd he cut off there?!
[08:58] Hijikata
His mom?
[08:59] Hijikata
That was his mom was calling him, right?
[09:01] Hijikata
She called him Hiro-kun, right?
[09:03] Hijikata
That didn't sound anything like Jigzaw, right?!
[09:04] Hijikata
Who the hell is he? What does he want?
[09:07] Hijikata
How dare he make fools of us!
[09:09] Hijikata
Why did this happen...
[09:11] Hijikata
Why are we in this situation...
[09:12] Hijikata
Why...
[09:14] Hijikata
Why did it have to happen when I was with this guy...
[09:18] Hijikata
I'm dead.
[09:19] Hijikata
Without a doubt, I'm dead.
[09:22] Hijikata
He's always wanted to get rid of me.
[09:25] Hijikata
He's pulled all kinds of crap to try to take the position of Vice-Chief from me.
[09:30] Hijikata
But the watchful eyes of the other officers,
[09:32] Hijikata
Kondo-san acting as a brake,
[09:34] Hijikata
and the fact that I'm his superior
[09:36] Hijikata
combined to stop him when things got dangerous.
[09:41] Hijikata
But now, he's been given a legitimate reason.
[09:45] Hijikata
He killed me to save everyone.
[09:47] Hijikata
He killed me to stop the bomb.
[09:49] Hijikata
This is dangerous. Very dangerous.
[09:51] Hijikata
The station's also in danger, but my life is in even more danger!
[09:55] Okita
Hijikata-san. Hijikata-san.
[09:58] Hijikata
Wh-What is it?
[09:59] Okita
You okay over there? Seemed a little spaced out.
[10:01] Okita
Don't tell me that imitation psycho's got you spooked.
[10:06] Hijikata
Hell no! Don't look down on me!
[10:08] Hijikata
Damn bastard looking down on me!
[10:10] Hijikata
I'll kill you bastard!
[10:13] Okita
Hijikata-san.
[10:15] Okita
Could we stop standing like this?
[10:17] Hijikata
That's right.
[10:18] Hijikata
It's okay now.
[10:19] Hijikata
Okay, yeah?
[10:20] Hijikata
Then we'll go at the same time.
[10:22] Hijikata
Relax at the same time.
[10:23] Hijikata
On the count of three.
[10:25] Okita
Hijikata-san.
[10:26] Okita
Do you think I'm going to go for the key the second you relax?
[10:31] Hijikata
No, no. No way.
[10:32] Hijikata
Not the least bit, but this prevents any potential trouble.
[10:36] Hijikata
And I don't want you suspecting me.
[10:38] Okita
Give me a break.
[10:40] Okita
You don't have to worry this time.
[10:42] Okita
The Shinsengumi's in serious trouble.
[10:45] Okita
This isn't the time for us to be fighting amongst ourselves.
[10:47] Hijikata
I know that, fool.
[10:49] Hijikata
I can differentiate between serious parts and gag parts.
[10:52] Hijikata
Don't get the wrong idea.
[10:53] Okita
Man, I'm depending on you, you know.
[10:59] Okita
You just jumped.
[11:04] Okita
I just have to take a piss.
[11:06] Okita
I was out cold since yesterday so it's been a day since I've gone.
[11:09] Okita
Don't you need to piss, too?
[11:12] Hijikata
Now that you mention it, yeah.
[11:13] Okita
You should probably take care of it while I am.
[11:17] Okita
Once I'm finished, you'll be too jumpy to do your business.
[11:20] Hijikata
I'm said I'm not jumpy!
[11:22] Hijikata
Don't look down on me.
[11:24] Hijikata
Cut it out already.
[11:25] Hijikata
I'm not jumpy, but I need to piss, so I have no choice.
[11:28] Hijikata
I'm not doing this because I'm jumpy.
[11:31] Hijikata
Hurry it up.
[11:33] Hijikata
Finish my business while he's still going.
[11:35] Hijikata
Going to the bathroom, sleeping, and eating are when a person is most vulnerable.
[11:38] Hijikata
If I don't take care of this now, I won't be getting another chance...
[11:41] Hijikata
Wait!
[11:42] Hijikata
Could this be... a trap?
[11:45] Hijikata
He's only pretending to take a piss,
[11:48] Hijikata
and once I'm urinating, he plans to go for the key.
[11:54] Hijikata
Wait. Calm down.
[11:56] Hijikata
Drag this out as long as I can.
[11:58] Hijikata
Don't release until I can be sure he's urinating.
[12:01] Hijikata
Release when he does.
[12:03] Hijikata
If I'm too late, he'll have a chance if I take longer.
[12:06] Hijikata
No piss. He isn't pissing!
[12:09] Hijikata
So this is a trap.
[12:10] Hijikata
I was about to be fooled.
[12:12] Hijikata
...Sogo! Too weak.
[12:14] Hijikata
I'm not going to fall for your scheme...
[12:17] Hijikata
I-It...
[12:18] Hijikata
It's stuck!
SIGN [Note: Parody of the movie "There's Something About Mary"]
[12:20] Hijikata
Damn it!
[12:22] Hijikata
I zipped up too fast because I was worried about giving him a chance!
[12:26] Hijikata
G-Get a grip.
[12:29] Hijikata
Don't let me know anything's wrong.
[12:30] Hijikata
That'll give him a chance.
[12:33] Hijikata
It's okay.
[12:34] Hijikata
He hasn't noticed.
[12:39] Hijikata
H-He tricked me!
[12:41] Hijikata
That bastard!
[12:43] Hijikata
First, he pretended that he wasn't going to piss and then he started urinating once I zipped up?!
[12:47] Hijikata
That was a feint?!
[12:48] Hijikata
It's too late for me to go now.
[12:50] Hijikata
He'll definitely finish first.
[12:52] Hijikata
And I can't piss a single drop in this intense pain!
[12:55] Hijikata
Was this all part of his plan?
[12:57] Hijikata
No, it couldn't be.
[12:59] Hijikata
That would be impossible for me to deal with.
[13:01] Hijikata
I have to give up on taking a piss.
[13:02] Hijikata
But I can't let him know.
[13:04] Hijikata
Need to pull myself together.
[13:05] Hijikata
Show no weakness! Don't give him a chance!
[13:07] Okita
Man, that was a long piss.
[13:11] Okita
Must have had a bunch built up.
[13:13] Okita
Might have been a whole liter.
[13:15] Hijikata
Oh, yeah.
[13:16] Hijikata
Not sure if I had that much...
[13:20] Hijikata
About three drops...
[13:23] Okita
Of what?
[13:34] Jigzaw
Good day.
[13:36] Jigzaw
It's a beautiful morning.
[13:38] Jigzaw
How do you feel after spending half a day here?
[13:43] Jigzaw
I can see signs of struggling, but it's futile.
[13:47] Jigzaw
That chain is made from a special alloy.
[13:50] Jigzaw
And this room doesn't contain anything that will help you escape.
[13:55] Jigzaw
Besides for the key.
[13:57] Jigzaw
It would be much more productive to discuss which one of you will die.
[14:03] Jigzaw
You should hurry.
[14:05] Jigzaw
There are less than sixty hours to the explosion.
[14:07] Jigzaw
If you take too long, you won't be the only victims.
[14:10] Jigzaw
All of the members of the Shinsengumi will lose their lives.
[14:14] Hijikata
What are you after?
[14:16] Hijikata
What's so fun about this?
[14:18] Jigzaw
I am Jigzaw.
[14:20] Jigzaw
An empty existence born from nothingness.
[14:23] Jigzaw
I have nothing.
[14:25] Jigzaw
Neither dead nor alive.
[14:26] Jigzaw
Neither blood nor flesh nor bone can be found under this mask.
[14:31] Jigzaw
Which is why I wish to know.
[14:33] Jigzaw
What lies within humans.
[14:35] Jigzaw
What lies in the depths of the human heart.
[14:38] Jigzaw
What I may find under that skin.
[14:41] Jigzaw
Comrades, colleagues, bonds...
[14:44] Jigzaw
You can sound hopeful...
[14:46] Jigzaw
You can hide behind a mask of ideals...
[14:49] Jigzaw
But humans will abandon it all once they're cornered.
[14:54] Jigzaw
Revealing the ugly face behind the mask.
[14:56] Jigzaw
My empty heart is finally filled when I see the ugly entrails spread along the floor.
[15:04] Jigzaw
That is my sole amusement.
[15:07] Jigzaw
You are fortunate people who have been invited to my game.
[15:12] Jigzaw
Entertain me... with your lives.
[15:19] Mom
Hiro-kun!
[15:20] Mom
What time do you think it is?!
[15:21] Mom
Get up already.
[15:22] Mom
You'll be late for school...
[15:24] Hijikata
His nothingness was just on camera!
[15:26] Hijikata
It was just an old lady, right?
[15:27] Hijikata
That was just his mom, right?
[15:30] Okita
Hijikata-san.
[15:31] Okita
We don't have time to worry about that fool.
[15:33] Okita
Let's keep working.
[15:35] Okita
If we can't break the chain, let's try doing something about the pole.
[15:38] Hijikata
Yeah.
[15:39] Hijikata
Bastard... When is he going to show his true colors?
[15:42] Hijikata
He hasn't let a thing slip.
[15:45] Hijikata
I expected him to go straight for the key, end my life, and escape from this place,
[15:51] Hijikata
but he's paid no heed to my caution and been like that all night.
[15:55] Hijikata
I thought he may even attack me with that stone, but he hasn't done it.
[16:00] Hijikata
Does he really intend for both of us to escape this place?
[16:05] Hijikata
No, he would never do such a thing.
[16:08] Hijikata
Besides, he should know how futile that is.
[16:13] Hijikata
We need that key to escape from this place.
[16:16] Hijikata
But why won't he move?
[16:18] Hijikata
What is he thinking?
[16:25] Okita
Bastard... When is he going to show his true colors?
[16:29] Okita
He hasn't let a thing slip.
[16:31] Okita
I've given him so many opportunities.
[16:34] Okita
He had many chances to go for the key.
[16:37] Okita
But why won't he act?
[16:39] Okita
What is he thinking?
[16:40] Hijikata
Act, Sogo.
[16:42] Hijikata
I'm ready for you.
[16:45] Hijikata
But not to die after being betrayed.
[16:48] Okita
Act, Hijikata.
[16:50] Okita
I'm prepared.
[16:52] Okita
But not to die after being betrayed.
[16:56] Both
I'm set to kill you once you betray me.
[17:00] Okita
It'd be simple to get the key before him.
[17:04] Okita
Then I could get rid of that obstacle, Hijikata, and save the Shinsengumi.
[17:08] Okita
But that's what the imitation psycho wants.
[17:14] Okita
He wants to watch us lose our trust in each other, betray each other, and reveal our ugly selves.
[17:21] Hijikata
I don't want to die at Sogo's hands, but I don't want to act as Jigzaw wants.
[17:27] Both
I'll pretend to do the right thing till the end.
[17:30] Both
I need him to play the traitor.
[17:33] Both
I just have to wait until he makes his move.
[17:36] Both
Once he moves, I'll have a legitimate reason to kill him as a traitor in order to save the station.
[17:44] Hijikata
You aren't the only one with a reason to eliminate an obstacle.
[17:49] Hijikata
If that's what you intend to do, I won't hold back.
[17:53] Okita
Act. Make your move.
[17:54] Okita
Betray me, Hijikata.
[17:57] Both
The second you draw your sword will be your last second!
[18:07] Hijikata
He isn't making a move.
[18:09] Hijikata
He must be hesitating because I'm being too vigilant.
[18:13] Hijikata
I need to actively attempt to create a chance.
[18:15] Hijikata
A chance for him to take advantage of me.
[18:17] Hijikata
I need to prepare plenty of bait.
[18:21] Hijikata
Sogo, why don't you take a break?
[18:24] Hijikata
You've been at it since yesterday.
[18:26] Hijikata
Your body won't hold up at this rate.
[18:29] Hijikata
You'll be a burden if you can't move your legs when we escape.
[18:32] Hijikata
Get some sleep and let me take over.
[18:34] Hijikata
It'll be noisy, so go over by the passageway.
[18:38] Okita
No, Hijikata-san, you look more tired than me. Go to sleep.
[18:42] Okita
The area by the key looks cool and refreshing.
[18:46] Hijikata
No, you.
[18:47] Okita
No, Hijikata-san, you should sleep.
[18:50] Hijikata
What's with this guy? He won't make a move.
[18:55] Okita
I understand.
[18:56] Okita
Then I'll accept your offer and sleep.
[18:59] Okita
Please don't run away by yourself while I'm asleep.
[19:03] Okita
I'm exhausted so I'll be sound asleep and hard to wake up.
[19:06] Hijikata
No, wait. I'll sleep instead.
[19:08] Hijikata
On second thought, I'm terribly tired.
[19:11] Hijikata
It'll be really hard to wake up once I've fallen asleep.
[19:14] Hijikata
I doubt anything could wake me up.
[19:17] ---
Here it comes.
[19:18] Okita
No, I'll go to sleep.
[19:19] Hijikata
I said that I'm sleeping.
[19:21] Hijikata
I can barely keep my eyes open.
[19:23] Hijikata
Why won't he make a move?
[19:24] Hijikata
Why doesn't he take this chance?
[19:26] Hijikata
In fact, he's...
[19:27] Okita
After coming up with this plan, don't tell me that he's...
[19:31] Both
waiting for me to betray him?
[19:35] Hijikata
Okay, that's good.
[19:37] Hijikata
We'll both sleep.
[19:38] Okita
Kondo-san and the others may come to save us while we're sleeping.
[19:43] Hijikata
No, he couldn't be. I'm overthinking this.
[19:47] Okita
No, he doesn't have the time.
[19:49] Okita
His own life and the lives of the Shinsengumi are on the line.
[19:53] Hijikata
Good night then.
[19:55] Okita
Good night.
[19:59] Both
He'll definitely betray me.
[20:01] Both
He'll hop out and go for the key before five minutes have passed.
[20:17] Hijikata
Hey, morning.
[20:19] Okita
Good morning.
[20:26] Both
H-Half a day's gone by!
[20:29] Both
And I didn't get a wink of sleep!
[20:31] Hijikata
All that standing around expecting him to betray me or jump out any second wasted so much time.
[20:37] Hijikata
I managed to get some rest.
[20:39] Okita
How could I...
[20:40] Okita
I wasted precious time and energy...
[20:43] Okita
Yeah, I feel so much better.
[20:45] Both
No doubt about it.
[20:47] Both
This bastard doesn't intend to betray me.
[20:50] Hijikata
Damn it, Sogo.
[20:52] Hijikata
What's going to happen if you don't betray me?
[20:55] Hijikata
If we don't escape from this place, the Shinsengumi will be wiped out!
[20:58] Okita
I won't let you force me to play the dirty role, Hijikata.
[21:02] Okita
Hurry up and betray me.
[21:04] Hijikata
Do you expect me to betray you, Sogo?
[21:07] Hijikata
Don't be ridiculous.
[21:08] Hijikata
I absolutely won't betray you.
[21:10] Hijikata
I'll stick with you to the very end!
[21:13] Okita
It's useless, Hijikata.
[21:15] Okita
It doesn't matter how dirty you are, I still won't betray you.
[21:18] Okita
No matter what happens, you're my buddy!
[21:23] Jigzaw
48 hours until the Shinsengumi station goes boom.
[21:27] Jigzaw
Well?
[21:28] Jigzaw
Have you decided which one will die?
[21:33] Okita
Sorry, but neither one of us is going to die.
[21:37] Jigzaw
Oh, so you're going to abandon your comrades at the station for the sake of living a little longer in this place.
[21:42] Okita
Nobody's going to die.
[21:44] Okita
Both of us will escape from this place.
[21:46] Hijikata
Th-That's right!
[21:48] Hijikata
The two of us will stop the bombing of the Shinsengumi station together!
[21:52] Hijikata
And we'll catch you together, without a single member missing!
[22:02] Jigzaw
I'm impressed that you can still cling to those ideals.
[22:07] Jigzaw
Do you truly believe you can escape without that key?
[22:11] Hijikata
We'll find a way if we work together.
[22:13] Okita
That's right.
[22:14] Okita
Don't look down on us.
[22:15] Okita
We will never betray each other!
[22:17] Jigzaw
I see.
[22:19] Jigzaw
Which means you don't need this key.
[22:39] Hijikata
Wh-What?!
[22:41] Okita
Th-That's...
SIGN
[24:15] Okita
The next episode:
[24:16] Okita
"When breaking a Chuubert in half, the end with the knob should blah blah blah."
SIGN [Who is the mysterious assassin sent out by Jigzaw exactly? And he left behind an item to help them escape?!]
SIGN [Time is running out before the bomb explodes and kills everyone. Next time, Shinsengumi Death Game Part 2!!]
SIGN [See you next time.]
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