E196 - Not Losing to the Wind

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:35] A
    Boss!
[01:38] A
    I apologize!
[01:40] A
    We didn't realize they were your
    friends and mistreated them!
[01:44] Gintoki
    Who's the guy with the stony face?
[01:46] Gedomaru
    Lord Seimei.
[01:48] Gedomaru
    Head of the Ketsuno clan.
[01:50] Gedomaru
    A genius onmyoji who's said to
    be the strongest in clan history.
[01:54] Gedomaru
    Seimei Ketsuno.
SIGN    [Note: Based off the Onmyoji Seimei Abeno.]
[01:57] Gedomaru
    Lady Christel's older brother.
[02:00] Gintoki
    Huh?
SIGN    
[02:08] Seimei
    I apologize for the uncomfortable experience.
[02:11] Seimei
    Gedomaru, you did well to
    protect Christel's friends.
[02:15] Seimei
    You have my gratitude.
[02:17] Seimei
    Please rest to your heart's content.
[02:20] Seimei
    Christel will yell at me if I allow you to
    leave without offering any hospitality.
[02:26] Seimei
    I can also serve liquor if any of you drink.
[02:29] Shinpachi
    He made a feast appear with
    a snap of his fingers.
[02:31] Shinpachi
    He's a monster!
[02:32] Shinpachi
    A Paul Maki monster!
SIGN    [Note: Japanese Comedian who was popular with his constant finger snaps.]
[02:34] Shinpachi
    Gin-san, I think I'm going crazy!
[02:37] Shinpachi
    We've got fox spirits wrapped around us!
[02:39] Gintoki
    Wrapped around us?
[02:41] Gintoki
    More like they've been
    suckling at our nipples.
[02:44] Gedomaru
    This may be the work of a devil.
[02:47] Gedomaru
    I shall test it for poison first.
[02:49] Gintoki
    Hey, you're drooling.
[02:51] Kagura
    That's mine!
[02:51] Shinpachi
    Uh, Seimei-san...
[02:53] Shinpachi
    How did you know we were acquainted
    with Ms. Ketsuno?
[02:57] Seimei
    We of the Ketsuno clan have used
    our knowledge of Onmyodo
[03:00] Seimei
    to defend the Bakufu and
    Edo for a long time.
[03:03] Seimei
    Do you know how we have
    carried out that duty?
[03:11] Seimei
    Through our sight.
[03:13] ---
    Give it to me!
[03:14] Seimei
    When foretelling disaster or ill omens,
[03:16] Seimei
    one must first analyze the target from every
    possible angle in order to see anything.
[03:22] Seimei
    I have stationed shikigami all around
    Edo to serve as my eyes.
[03:28] Seimei
    It is my duty to process the
    information they send,
[03:32] Seimei
    determine what direction this nation is heading,
    and how the Bakufu should act.
[03:36] Seimei
    How could I not be aware
    of my sister's situation?
[03:40] Gintoki
    Heh. I see that Big Bro knows
    everything that's going on.
[03:44] Gintoki
    That makes this simple.
[03:47] Gintoki
    What did you people do to Ms. Ketsuno?
[03:51] Seimei
    You believe that we are the reason Christel
    can no longer forecast the weather?
[03:56] Gintoki
    Wouldn't the strongest onmyoji ever
    be capable of such a thing?
[04:01] Seimei
    It's true that when Christel left the
    Ketsuno clan without a word
[04:05] Seimei
    and chose to use her power
    for the common people,
[04:08] Seimei
    the traditionalists were
    vehemently opposed.
[04:11] Seimei
    I was also one of them
[04:14] Seimei
    until I saw her as...
[04:15] B
    Boss!
[04:18] Seimei
    Could it be?!
[04:20] Shinpachi
    Wait! Seimei-san, where are you going?!
[04:23] Ketsu
    I apologize for being off with
    the morning forecast.
[04:26] Ketsu
    I hope to do better as I give
    you the afternoon forecast.
[04:31] Seimei
    Christel!
[04:33] Seimei
    Why?! Why is Christel, morning personality,
    reporting a daytime weather forecast?!
[04:36] C
    Boss! That's because the other weather
    lady got sick and took the day off.
[04:41] Seimei
    Just hurry!
[04:43] Seimei
    Hurry up and record this on DVD!
[04:44] C
    But boss!
[04:45] C
    The disk is full after recording
    Spider-man yesterday!
[04:49] Seimei
    Erase it!
[04:50] Seimei
    Erase Spider-man!
[04:51] Seimei
    We've already seen it so many times!
[04:52] Seimei
    No, we can't!
[04:53] Seimei
    Erase King Kong...
[04:53] Seimei
    No, stick to Spider-man!
[04:54] Seimei
    Just erase the parts where
    the heroine shows up!
[04:57] Seimei
    The annoying one!
[04:59] Ketsuno
    Here I go then!
[05:00] Ketsuno
    Boss! Her forecast is starting!
[05:03] Seimei
    Hey! You bastards ready to pray?!
[05:06] Seimei
    Don't miss what she says!
[05:08] Seimei
    We'll do whatever it takes to make
    Christel's forecast accurate!
[05:11] Seimei
    Pray the second she speaks!
[05:13] Seimei
    The very instant she speaks!
[05:14] All
    Yes, sir!
[05:17] Ketsuno
    The afternoon forecast for Edo...
[05:21] Ketsuno
    Is sunny.
[05:23] Seimei
    Make it sunny!
[05:25] Shinpachi
    Gin-san, the entire clan is supporting
    her, not interfering.
[05:29] Shinpachi
    Seimei-san seems about ready
    to literally burn up for his sister.
[05:33] Kagura
    Shinpachi, it's no use.
[05:35] Kagura
    He already joined their family.
[05:38] Shinpachi
    Say, why is the person who was
    suspecting them joining in?!
[05:42] Shinpachi
    How can he blend in so perfectly?!
[05:46] Shinpachi
    What is that?!
[05:49] Seimei
    So they've also begun!
[05:51] Seimei
    Don't give in, men!
[05:52] Seimei
    Break their spell!
[06:06] Kagura
    The two sides are pushing and prancing
    around with each other.
[06:09] Gedomaru
    It is the Shirino clan.
[06:11] Shinpachi
    Shirino clan?
[06:13] Gedomaru
    A family of onmyoji that
    rivals the Ketsuno.
[06:16] Gedomaru
    The Shirino clan.
[06:19] Gedomaru
    The Ketsuno clan and Shirino clan
[06:22] Gedomaru
    have been in a savage struggle for political
    power since the Heian period.
[06:27] Shinpachi
    If they hate each other so much, why
    do they live next to each other?!
[06:30] Gedomaru
    After many years of fighting,
[06:34] Gedomaru
    they finally joined to serve the Bakufu
    together in this Edo period.
[06:40] Gedomaru
    Through Lord Seimei's efforts.
[06:43] Gedomaru
    However, a new tragedy was born.
[06:48] Gedomaru
    The Shirino clan placed one condition
    in the peace accord.
[06:55] Gedomaru
    To offer Lady Christel as a bride.
[06:59] Shinpachi
    Is that when...
[07:01] N
    Ms. Ketsuno, known to everyone as the
    weather lady, has gotten married.
[07:06] Gedomaru
    Lord Seimei accepted the condition,
[07:08] Gedomaru
    believing that it would serve to bring
    Lady Christel back to this world.
[07:13] Gedomaru
    And Lady Christel also agreed,
[07:16] Gedomaru
    believing it would make peace
    between the clans.
[07:19] Gedomaru
    However, she was unable
    to lie to herself.
[07:24] Gedomaru
    After getting married,
    she grew weaker every day.
[07:28] Gedomaru
    Lady Christel spent most of her time
    gazing into the sky back then.
[07:35] Gedomaru
    Once Lord Seimei saw her,
    he realized his mistake,
[07:41] Gedomaru
    broke the peace accord,
    got Lady Christel divorced,
[07:45] Gedomaru
    and returned her to her position
    as weather lady.
[07:49] Gedomaru
    Leaving two clans, allies only in name,
    serving the Bakufu side-by-side...
[07:57] Gedomaru
    And the hatred was greater than before.
[08:05] Gedomaru
    The emotions of the two clans towards
    Lady Christel were tangled up,
[08:10] Gedomaru
    and their battle grew into something
    never seen before.
[08:20] Gedomaru
    A mystic battle.
[08:23] Gedomaru
    Over the weather.
[08:25] Shinpachi
    So the ones who messed
[08:29] Shinpachi
    with Ms. Ketsuno's weather forecast
    and got her fired are...
[08:37] C
    Boss! We can't hold on much longer!
[08:40] Seimei
    Stand strong!
[08:42] Seimei
    We must make it sunny!
[08:44] C
    We can't hold on!
[09:04] Shinpachi
    Guys!
[09:07] Gedomaru
    Yes...
[09:08] Gedomaru
    The misfortune which has befallen Lady
    Christel is the work of a single man.
[09:15] Gedomaru
    The head of the Shirino clan,
    Lady Christel's ex-husband.
[09:20] Gedomaru
    The black onmyoji, Doman Shirino.
SIGN    [Based off Doman Ashiya, Seimei's rival.]
[09:25] Shinpachi
    That's Ms. Ketsuno's...
[09:27] Kagura
    Ex-husband...?
[09:28] Gedomaru
    Yes, though they were married,
[09:31] Gedomaru
    they never opened up to one
    another or held hands,
[09:34] Gedomaru
    before Lord Seimei
    stole his wife away.
[09:38] Seimei
    Doman...
[09:42] Doman
    Seimei, it appears that I win again!
[09:46] Doman
    Your sister's weather forecast is wrong.
[09:50] Doman
    She should quit before they force her off.
[09:53] Doman
    How does she have the nerve to appear on
    television with her inaccurate forecasts...
[09:58] Doman
    I see that both siblings are thick-skinned.
[10:01] Seimei
    Doman, damn you...
[10:05] Seimei
    Circular flyer!
[10:10] Seimei
    What?!
[10:13] Doman
    Seimei, you may strive to
    be the greatest onmyoji,
[10:19] Doman
    but your abilities are no longer
    able to even scratch me.
[10:24] Doman
    Oh, a neighborhood matsutake-picking trip.
[10:29] Doman
    Should I participate?
[10:31] Doman
    I am no longer the person I was before.
[10:34] Doman
    I was reborn to extract revenge
    against you siblings.
[10:38] Doman
    Seimei, you won't be participating?
[10:41] Doman
    Then I'm going, up yours.
[10:44] Seimei
    Bastard...
[10:45] Doman
    After challenging and being defeated
    by the Shirino clan multiple times,
[10:50] Doman
    you no longer have anyone able to fight.
[10:54] Doman
    You are the only one left
    to protect your sister.
[10:58] Doman
    This rain will never end, Seimei.
[11:00] Doman
    Christel may be fired from her
    position as weather lady...
[11:04] Doman
    The Ketsuno clan may be obliterated...
[11:07] Doman
    And this rain will still continue.
[11:10] Doman
    This rain will continue until the wails
    of you siblings have forever ceased.
[11:18] Doman
    Pass this to Iwashita-san
    next door, will ya?
[11:24] Shinpachi
    Seimei-san!
[11:26] Kagura
    Get a grip, sister lover!
[11:39] Shinpachi
    I never imagined that a battle over
    the weather was taking place.
[11:44] Shinpachi
    An argument between neighbors gets blown
    out of proportion when onmyoji are involved.
[11:49] Kagura
    They were all beaten up.
[11:51] Shinpachi
    Gedomaru-san, Ms. Ketsuno doesn't
    know about this, does she?
[11:56] Gedomaru
    I've been keeping her out of the loop.
[11:58] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[11:59] Kagura
    Why's that?!
[12:00] Kagura
    Ms. Ketsuno was suffering so much!
[12:03] Gedomaru
    If she knew about this fight,
[12:06] Gedomaru
    she would return to Doman in
    an attempt to end the fight.
[12:09] Gedomaru
    Quite frankly, I don't give a damn about
    this battle between the clans.
[12:13] Gedomaru
    I couldn't care less if the Ketsuno clan, which
    tamed and used me, were to be crushed.
[12:20] Gedomaru
    But...
[12:22] Gedomaru
    I never want to see Lady Christel
    look so sorrowful again.
[12:29] Shinpachi
    You really care about
    Ms. Ketsuno, don't you?
[12:33] Gedomaru
    Lady Christel was the only onmyoji master
    who ever treated me as a friend.
[12:41] Gedomaru
    And he does not wish for Lady
    Christel to learn the truth.
[12:47] Ketsu
    Hello, Ketsuno here.
[12:50] Ketsu
    I apologize for being wrong with
    my afternoon forecast, too.
[12:53] Ketsu
    I promise to do better tomorrow.
[12:54] A
    Shut up!
[12:55] A
    How many times are you going
    to screw up the forecast, girl?
[12:58] Director
    Ah, excuse me.
[12:59] Director
    Camera's rolling.
[13:00] B
    Who gives a damn?
[13:01] B
    Stop giving forecasts that are wrong!
[13:03] C
    Yeah! Yeah!
[13:04] A
    Nobody's watching your
    forecasts anymore!
[13:07] Director
    Please stop throwing things!
[13:09] Director
    Ms. Ketsuno, run! It's dangerous here!
[13:11] Ketsuno
    Then I'll be giving the forecast now.
[13:14] Director
    Wait! What are you doing, Ketsuno?!
[13:16] Director
    It's dangerous!
[13:17] A
    The hell?
[13:19] Director
    Are you okay, Ms. Ketsuno?!
[13:24] Seimei
    Aren't you a fan of Christel?
[13:27] Seimei
    I can't believe you can watch this.
[13:29] Gintoki
    Yeah, I'm a super sadist.
[13:32] Gintoki
    Besides...
[13:33] Gintoki
    Ms. Ketsuno is putting up with
    this crap to give her report.
[13:33] Ketsuno
    It isn't known when this rain will
    end, but by tomorrow morning...
[13:38] Gintoki
    We have a duty to watch.
[13:40] Gintoki
    Isn't that right, big brother?
[13:43] Seimei
    Who are you calling your big brother?
[13:45] Seimei
    I am the one responsible
    for Christel's suffering
[13:48] Seimei
    and Doman's turning
    down a dark path.
[13:52] Seimei
    I am not allowed to avert my eyes.
[13:56] Seimei
    I am obligated to watch every second.
[13:59] Seimei
    In the past,
[14:01] Seimei
    I was so focused on protecting the family
    as the leader of the Ketsuno clan,
[14:05] Seimei
    that I allowed duty to blind
    me to everything else.
[14:09] Seimei
    I selfishly used my own sister as a tool
[14:12] Seimei
    before selfishly taking her
    away from Doman.
[14:16] Seimei
    Pathetic for the greatest onmyoji, who,
    supposedly saw all as he defended Edo.
[14:23] Seimei
    Only after blundering was I able to see.
[14:25] Seimei
    Only after suffering loss was
    I able to understand.
[14:31] Seimei
    You must watch the things that are
    important with your own two eyes.
[14:38] Gintoki
    Dear brother, what's that?
[14:41] Seimei
    Who are you calling your dear brother?
[14:43] Seimei
    A letter sent from Doman.
[14:46] Doman
    Seimei, you should know well that continued
    skirmishes will only serve to waste our men.
[14:56] Doman
    It is the duty of the head
    to defend the family.
[14:58] Doman
    And it is the duty of an older brother
    to defend a younger sister.
[15:02] Doman
    I won't tell you to choose between them.
[15:05] Doman
    If you wish to defend both,
    face me in a contest.
[15:10] Doman
    In a Shikigami Tag Team
    Mystic Deathmatch!
[15:13] Doman
    This contest shall serve as the
    final battle of the weather war!
[15:18] Gintoki
    Shikigami Tag Team
    Mystic Deathmatch?
[15:21] Gintoki
    The hell is that, broseph?
[15:23] Seimei
    Who are you calling your broseph?
[15:24] Seimei
    It refers to a 3-on-3 onmyodo match.
[15:28] Gintoki
    I see. So this is a challenge.
[15:32] Gintoki
    So he isn't satisfied by
    pestering Ms. Ketsuno.
[15:34] Gintoki
    He's come to directly crush bro-bro.
[15:37] Seimei
    Who are you calling your bro-bro?
[15:38] Seimei
    Cut that out already!
[15:39] Seimei
    How desperate are you
    to join my family?
[15:42] Gintoki
    No, I don't really mean anything by it.
[15:44] Gintoki
    I just wanted to let you feel as though
    you'd suddenly discovered
[15:48] Gintoki
    that you were about to live with
    twelve adorable little brothers.
[15:52] Seimei
    That's one creepy-as-hell
    Brother Princess!
[15:54] Gintoki
    Oh, so you do know Sister Princess.
SIGN    [Note: Sister Princess is a popular beautiful girls novel, manga, anime and game franchise.]
[15:57] Gintoki
    So you do have a thing
    for little sisters, ro-ro.
[15:59] Seimei
    What the hell is ro-ro?
[16:00] Seimei
    What does that have
    to do with anything?
[16:02] Seimei
    In any case, I believe this challenge
    to be an opportunity.
[16:07] Seimei
    If I win, I can save Princess Christel.
[16:10] Gintoki
    That would be like walking
    right into a trap, nutbro.
[16:13] Seimei
    The hell is a nutbro?
[16:15] Seimei
    That makes it sound like I'm a nutxxxx!
[16:20] Seimei
    I will accept the challenge alone.
[16:22] Seimei
    The responsibility is all mine.
[16:26] Gintoki
    Are you protecting Ms. Ketsuno
    because you feel guilty?
[16:33] Seimei
    Guilt...?
[16:34] Seimei
    No, I may have been jealous.
[16:38] Seimei
    Here I was, using my power for the
    Bakufu, to protect our traditions,
[16:43] Seimei
    while she was using her power
    to give people the weather.
[16:50] Seimei
    As I watched her smile on rainy days and
    windy days, I couldn't help but think...
[16:57] Seimei
    That she was doing a magnificent job
    of protecting the people of Edo,
[17:02] Seimei
    of bringing them happiness...
[17:05] Seimei
    She was a much greater onmyoji
    than I could ever be...
[17:11] Seimei
    She is...
[17:13] Seimei
    My... Our clan's...
[17:16] Seimei
    Pride and joy...
[17:20] Gintoki
    I wonder if the rain will stop.
[17:23] Gedomaru
    Beats me.
[17:24] Gedomaru
    Sadly, I don't know how
    to read the heavens.
[17:27] Gedomaru
    But there's one thing I can say.
[17:30] Gedomaru
    Lord Seimei will die.
[17:35] Gedomaru
    Doman has become exponentially
    stronger than before.
[17:39] Gedomaru
    The mark on his face...
[17:42] Gedomaru
    He must have dabbled in forbidden
    arts so he could defeat Lord Seimei.
[17:47] Gedomaru
    On the other hand, Lord Seimei has dispatched
    countless shikigami to watch over Edo
[17:51] Gedomaru
    and his power is dispersed.
[17:54] Gedomaru
    He might have a chance if he
    were to focus his power,
[17:57] Gedomaru
    but his duty will not allow that to happen.
[18:00] Gedomaru
    He won't be able to defeat
    Doman as things stand.
[18:04] Gintoki
    Will that change if we go?
[18:08] Gedomaru
    Master Gintoki.
[18:10] Gedomaru
    I didn't want to say this,
    but you should butt out.
[18:16] Gedomaru
    Do you know why Lady
    Christel sent me?
[18:20] Gedomaru
    To stop you.
[18:24] Gedomaru
    I was ordered to keep you out of danger
[18:27] Gedomaru
    and prioritize your lives.
[18:30] Shinpachi
    That can't be!
[18:31] Shinpachi
    Are you telling us to stand by
    and let Seimei-san die?!
[18:34] Shinpachi
    We're the only ones left who can fight!
[18:36] Kagura
    Don't you realize who will grieve the
    most if sister lover dies, bob cut?!
[18:41] Kagura
    You're okay with Ms. Ketsuno crying?!
[18:44] Gintoki
    You never had any intention of
    letting me order you around.
[18:50] Gintoki
    Oh well.
[18:52] Gintoki
    I'm not used to having people
    serve me anyway.
[18:55] Gintoki
    Now I'm free.
[18:59] Gedomaru
    Don't you understand that a bunch of
    amateurs who can't use shikigami
[19:03] Gedomaru
    would be reduced to a rain of blood?
[19:06] Gintoki
    Fine by me.
[19:08] Gintoki
    Look at this weather.
[19:10] Gintoki
    Not much difference if it's
    blood instead of water.
[19:15] Gintoki
    Spring showers, fall showers,
    rain of blood...
[19:19] Gintoki
    I'm willing to stand in any of those.
[19:21] Gintoki
    But...
[19:25] Gintoki
    I'm done standing in a girl's tears.
[19:37] Gedomaru
    As I said...
[19:39] Gedomaru
    A shikigami is always judging its master.
[19:43] Gedomaru
    I've been waiting for those words.
[19:47] Gedomaru
    Master Gintoki, I accept you.
[19:51] Gedomaru
    You are my second master.
[19:56] Gedomaru
    From now on, I will carry out
    your every command,
[20:00] Gedomaru
    no matter how difficult it may be.
[20:02] Gedomaru
    I shall protect you from bullets
    and the elements.
[20:08] Gedomaru
    So Master Gintoki...
[20:11] Gedomaru
    Please assist me in helping
    Lady Christel.
[20:16] Gintoki
    You didn't need to ask.
[20:19] Gintoki
    But in return, skip the
    master-servant crap.
[20:23] Gintoki
    Too much of a pain.
[20:24] Gintoki
    And don't call me Master Gintoki.
[20:29] Gintoki
    Call me President.
[20:31] Kagura
    Pachi-boy, let's get going!
[20:34] Shinpachi
    Wait!
[20:36] Shinpachi
    We can't summon shikigami or anything!
[20:39] Shinpachi
    Are we really going to be okay?
[20:40] Kagura
    Don't sweat the small stuff!
[20:42] Shinpachi
    Small stuff?!
[20:43] Shinpachi
    Isn't this a shikigami tag match?!
[20:45] Kagura
    You don't need to worry!
[20:46] Kagura
    We don't have any shikigami,
    but we still have familiar spirits!
[20:50] Shinpachi
    Huh?! Where?!
[20:52] Shinpachi
    Huh?
[21:00] Doman
    So you've come, Seimei...
[21:03] Doman
    I praise you for coming alone.
[21:05] Seimei
    I can handle you myself.
[21:07] Seimei
    Simple as that.
[21:10] Doman
    Hah, you never shut up.
[21:12] Seimei
    Doman, if I win, you will stop
    interfering with Christel...
[21:16] Doman
    Unlike you, the Shirino clan
    keeps its promises.
[21:20] Doman
    Seimei, the weather war was all but over.
[21:26] Doman
    Yet do you know why I would bother
    challenging you to a contest?!
[21:35] Doman
    To show you my strength!
[21:39] Doman
    I will destroy your pride
[21:42] Doman
    so you can die in despair!
[21:44] Doman
    Seimei, ever since that day,
[21:48] Doman
    I have lived solely for the sake of
    revenge against you siblings!
[21:51] Doman
    Focused only on the moment when
    I would tear the two of you apart,
[21:53] Doman
    as I sharpened my claws
    in the darkness!
[21:56] Doman
    And that time has finally come!
[21:58] Doman
    The long weather war will finally end!
[22:08] Doman
    Who are you?!
[22:10] Kagura
    Hey! Walk faster, shikigami!
[22:14] Shinpachi
    How did this happen?
[22:20] Gintoki
    Ah! Sorry about being late!
[22:23] Gintoki
    Is this where the world martial
    arts tournament is being held?!
SIGN    
SIGN    
[24:05] Shinpachi
    Pandemonium...
[24:08] Shinpachi
    Pandemonium-san...
[24:10] Shinpachi
    Pandemonium-san!
[24:13] Shinpachi
    Pandemonium-san!!
[24:16] Shinpachi
    The next episode...
[24:17] Shinpachi
    "Not Losing to the Storm."
SIGN    [Shinpachi and Kagura enter round one of the Shikigami Tag Team Mystic Deathmatch!]
SIGN    ["Deathmatch" means if you lose, you die. Shikigami Shinpachi dies for love...?!]
SIGN    [See you next time.]