E339 - An Idol's Badge of Honor
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Gintama
SIGN Slip Arc
SIGN An Idol's Badge of Honor
SIGN Oedo Dome
[01:43] Tsuk
To hell with that. Even a normal
meet-and-greet doesn't sit right with me.
SIGN BDZ48's Request!! Watch this program in a bright room
and at a safe distance from your TV ♥
[01:47] Tsuk
If you're holding a toilet meet-and-greet,
they might as well all work at Yoshiwara.
[01:51] Shin
Is that really the issue here, Tsukuyo-san?
[01:52] Sac
No need to tell me. I've always
been the producer's cum dumpster.
[01:55] Shin
You keep your mouth shut!
[01:56] Kyu
Idol or not, as a samurai, I could
never grab something so filthy.
[02:00] Kyu
The only things a samurai should grab
are swords, dirt on powerful people,
[02:03] Kyu
control of the Yagyu Family and
the right to its inheritance,
[02:06] Kyu
stocks, and rice balls.
[02:07] Shin
Don't make rice balls with a hand that
touched all that filth, you celeb samurai!
[02:10] Tae
Besides, shaking hands from a
toilet would be rude to the fans.
[02:14] Tae
We want to treat our fans better.
[02:17] Tae
On that note,
[02:19] Tae
let's have the fans enter the toilet instead.
[02:21] Shin
Treat your fans better!
[02:23] Tae
Also, keeping hygiene in mind,
[02:25] Tae
they can hold Clift's fate in their hands.
SIGN A Mad Hand Appeared
[02:29] Shin
Don't treat fans like the Mad Hands in DQ!
[02:31] Shin
And don't pull on Clift's leg! Quit pulling
our leg by being so useless, Clift!
[02:33] Tae
And despite everything that happened,
[02:36] Tae
let's flush it all away and
call it water under the bridge.
[02:37] Shin
They won't get flushed!
[02:38] Shin
Not even the large option will flush your
evil deeds and Clift's feelings away!
[02:41] Tae
It's the same principle
as the Gintama movies.
[02:44] Tae
The moment we get the fans
inside, we've already won.
[02:46] Tae
After that, the money will flow in even
if the movie's a steady stream of shit.
[02:50] Shin
Enough with the outrageous statements!
[02:52] Shin
Don't put us in the same boat
as your rip-off cabaret club!
[02:55] G
H-Hey, what happened in there?
[02:57] G
Uh, I think...
[02:58] G
I touched something soft
that starts with "cli."
[03:02] G
"Cli"? Something soft?!
[03:03] G
And then water came bursting out...
[03:06] G
Holy water came bursting out?!
[03:08] G
I-I'm lining up for Otae-chan!
[03:11] G
She seems prim and proper, but is
actually really bold! She's the best!
[03:14] Shin
By some miracle, it caused a
misunderstanding and formed a line!
[03:17] Tae
There, there.
[03:18] Tae
Don't rush, guys. Enter
the toilet in turn, okay?
[03:21] Kag
Well, since a line's formed,
let's just go with it.
[03:24] Sac
Pfft! Don't make me laugh!
[03:26] Sac
What part of that woman is soft?
[03:30] Sac
As you can see, she's a legendary Bigfoot
whose entire body is the Rockies!
[03:36] Tae
Sacchan...
[03:37] Tae
Could you not get all jealous because
nobody's coming to your toilet?
[03:41] Tae
Be a good little monkey and ride
on someone else's back, would you?
[03:44] Sac
Otae...
[03:46] Sac
A monkey on the back is an idiom that means
having a problem, not a literal monkey.
[03:51] Sac
Has your brain turned into a rock, too?
[03:53] Kag
Hey! Boss lady, Sacchan!
[03:55] Tae
And I'm saying you can ride
these filthy men bareback.
[03:59] Sac
Did you hear that, guys?
This is what Otae's really like!
[04:02] Shin
Who the hell are you two fighting?!
[04:04] Sac
What are you saying?
[04:05] Sac
Before being a battle to decide the top idol,
[04:08] Sac
this is a vote-off between
Diamond Vacuum members!
[04:10] Shin
Who the hell cares about that?!
[04:11] Sac
I won't let anyone else be center.
[04:13] Sac
You guys are better off lining up
for me instead of this Jezebel.
[04:17] Sac
Hey, don't you want to meet-and-greet me?
[04:20] Sac
I've got two much softer
things than she does.
[04:22] Sac
Look right here.
[04:26] G
On second thought, I'm going for Sacchan!
[04:27] G
She may wear glasses, but she's got
a bombshell body! She's the best!
[04:31] Tae
Why, you little bitch!
[04:35] Sac
I'm gonna be the center!
[04:36] Sac
You can spew all the holy water
you want in the wagon, Clift!
[04:42] Sac
No... You need to hold me more gently.
[04:44] Shin
Hey! What the hell are you guys doing?!
[04:46] Sac
If you shake that hard,
you'll crush my two
[04:50] Sac
soft balls!
[04:53] Tae
They're just Brey's golden orbs!
[04:55] Shin
What the hell are you doing?!
[04:57] Shin
This has turned into a meet-and-greet
for DQ48's wagon members!
[05:00] Shin
Where'd you even find them?!
[05:02] Tae
Clift and Brey needed to get rid of
their worries before the final battle!
[05:06] Shin
You two are Booger Diamonds
48's Clift and Brey!
[05:11] Gin
Exactly.
[05:12] Gin
Good job, Clift, Brey.
[05:16] Gin
Consider DQ48's Alena and McRyan.
[05:18] Gin
Do you know why most people pick
Alena out of these two fighters?
[05:23] Gin
That's because unlike McRyan, who is all
alone, Alena has Clift and Brey with her.
[05:28] Shin
No way!
[05:29] Gin
Yes way. They're just
like an idol group, too.
[05:32] Gin
The center Alena's star shines brighter
[05:35] Gin
amidst the darkness that is Clift and Brey.
[05:38] Gin
Which means...
[05:39] G
On second thought, Kyubei-chan's the best!
[05:41] G
Unlike those two sluts, she's a pure tomboy!
[05:44] G
Plus, she's got eyepatch and twin tails moe!
[05:46] G
Orthodox really is best!
[05:50] Gin
Go, Alena!
[05:52] Gin
Walk over the corpses of Clift and Brey!
[06:00] Gin
I forgot Alena could spam critical hits.
[06:05] Kyu
Don't touch me!
[06:07] Kag
Turns out Alena has the
biggest, Psaro-tier darkness.
[06:10] Shin
You've gotta be kidding me!
What did she even come here for?!
[06:14] Kyu
G-Give me some time.
[06:16] Kyu
I'm slowly getting used to it.
[06:17] Kyu
I think I'll be able to overcome it
once I throw another 1,500 of them.
[06:20] Shin
The fans won't recover from that!
[06:22] Tae
Then why don't you throw Clift 1,500 times?
[06:25] Sac
And Brey, too.
[06:26] Shin
Don't listen to those dark voices!
[06:28] Shin
Spare Clift and Brey already!
[06:30] Tsuk
Stop it, Kyubei.
[06:32] Tsuk
Don't push yourself.
[06:33] Kyu
Tsukuyo-dono?
[06:34] Tsuk
If you can't hold hands with men,
then I can just hold your share as well.
[06:40] Kyu
But I can't place such a burden on you.
[06:43] Tsuk
Don't worry. I cast aside my femininity,
but ah'm still a woman of Yoshiwara.
[06:48] Tsuk
Ah'm prepared to bear the sins of man.
[06:51] Kyu
Ah'm moe!
[06:53] Gin
Why are you freaking out over her?!
[06:54] Shin
We still had our ultimate weapon, the
female hero who backs up Alena's party!
[06:59] G
She looks like a cool, aloof beauty,
but she's kind enough to look out for others!
[07:03] G
Tsukuyo-chan is the best!
[07:05] Shin
This is our chance!
[07:06] Tae
My, aren't we popular, Tsukuyo-san.
[07:09] Shin
You two get back in the wagon right now!
[07:11] Sac
After that popularity poll, you want to
win the Diamond Vacuum vote-off, too?
SIGN Popularity Poll Arc (Episodes 182 - 184) November 2009
[07:15] Sac
Of course a Yoshiwara woman would
know all about the casting couch.
[07:18] Shin
You still haven't gotten over
what happened eight years ago?!
[07:21] Sac
But the center always has
the spotlight on her.
[07:26] Sac
So as fellow members, we really need
you to be more careful about things.
SIGN Female Hero Sends Clift to the Wagon!!
SIGN The Two Disappear Into the Wagon\Where Brey Awaits...
[07:30] Shin
What kinda scandal is that?!
[07:31] Shin
And why are you guys fabricating
stories to bring down your bandmate?!
[07:35] Sac
How will you take responsibility for this?
[07:37] Tae
Sending you to the Hakata wagon won't
be enough. You'll be sent to Indonesia!
[07:41] Shin
Your shitty organization
doesn't exist in Indonesia!
[07:45] Tsuk
I don't recall any of that,
[07:46] Tsuk
but I guess it's okay if it'll
get me out of this stupid mess.
[07:50] Shin
It had zero effect on her!
[07:51] Sac
That laid-back attitude of
yours is really annoying!
[07:54] Sac
Want me to cast Thwack on you?!
[07:55] Sac
Be honest! You want to be center too, right?
[07:57] Tsuk
Look, if you wanna play center
field or whatever base in baseball,
[08:01] Tsuk
first get nine people to play with!
[08:03] Sac
Don't play dumb with me!
[08:04] Shin
Knock it off! Your ugly infighting
is weirding out the fans!
[08:07] Tae
Oh, wait!
[08:08] Sac
We were kidding! That was
just a comedy opening act!
[08:11] Sac
Come back!
[08:16] Com
Uh, excuse me. Can I just, like,
[08:19] Com
take a dump?
[08:26] Com
Whoa! It's totally sticking out!
[08:28] Shin
We don't need play-by-play for that!
[08:30] Com
My poop is as loose and sloppy as
Booger Diamonds 48's morals!
[08:33] Com
Their behavior sticks out
so much in the idol sphere,
[08:36] Com
both the fans and my poop
scattered all over the place!
[08:38] Shin
Quit telling us about how your dump is going!
[08:40] Com
Meanwhile, Galaxy Kingdom Bitches
48 are nearly in four digits!
[08:46] Com
There's no telling what's going on
behind those bewitching curtains,
[08:50] Com
but the fans are being rendered
spineless one after another!
[08:53] Bit
It's all over, Booger Diamonds 48.
[08:58] Gin
Guess we'll have to do something about
their mystery meet-and-greet after all.
[09:02] Shin
Not yet.
[09:04] Shin
Booger Diamonds 48 isn't finished yet.
[09:09] Shin
Terakado Tsu isn't finished yet!
[09:12] Shin
Not as long as the captain
of the Terakado Tsu Fanclub,
[09:15] Shin
Shimura Shinpachi, is still here.
[09:17] Shin
I'll stop them.
[09:20] Shin
So Kagura-chan, Otsu-chan,
the rest is in your hands.
[09:27] Bit
Captain of the Terakado Tsu
Fanclub, Shimura Shinpachi.
[09:31] Bit
Do you really want a taste
of our meet-and-greet?
[09:35] Bit
Did you forget what happened to
your friends when they tried us?
[09:41] Shin
Otsu-chan...
[09:43] Shin
As long as you keep singing,
[09:45] Shin
your fans won't go anywhere.
[09:48] Shin
Even back when you didn't have any fans,
[09:50] Shin
you still had fun singing on the roadsise.
[09:55] Shin
Someone who was given strength
by watching you is still here.
[10:01] Shin
Just as your voice has cheered
us on when we were sad and hurt,
[10:07] Shin
there's a fan still here who will cheer
you on when you are sad and hurt.
[10:13] Shin
If you've lost everything, you can
just start over from that spot.
[10:18] Shin
If you'll sing, I'll gladly come
see you there again and again...
[10:22] Shin
At that concert hall for just the two of us.
[10:26] Shin
No matter what happens,
[10:28] Shin
I will be Terakado Tsu's first and last fan.
[10:31] Bit
How amusing.
[10:33] Bit
By getting through our meet-and-greet,
[10:36] Bit
you want to stir up the undecided
fans and that cowardly girl?
[10:40] Bit
Well, let's see you try.
[10:42] Bit
Just like you wanted, we'll make
you Terakado Tsu's last ever fan
[10:46] Bit
by enslaving your heart!
[10:48] Shin
Right back at you.
[10:50] Shin
I'm Shimura Shinpachi, captain
of the Terakado Tsu Fanclub.
[10:53] Shin
Here I come!
[10:54] Gin
Sh-Shinpachi!
[10:59] Gin
That was quick!
[11:00] Gin
What's wrong with you? After all that
big talk, you got destroyed in a flash!
[11:03] Gin
You got stripped to your underwear
at an incredible speed!
[11:07] Bit
Even her oldest fan and white knight
is just a rotten virgin nerd.
[11:11] Bit
Our meet-and-greet can entrance anyone in
one shot, no matter whose fan they are.
[11:15] Bit
Now, Terakado Tsu has
not a single fan left...
[11:17] Shin
Once I get home, I'm gonna
throw away all my porn mags.
[11:22] Shin
But as for Otsu-chan's CDs,
[11:25] Shin
I won't throw a single one away.
[11:28] Bit
My antenna? Did he...
[11:32] Com
Wow, Shimaru has made a successful return!
[11:37] Com
And what's going on here?
[11:39] Com
Miss Bitchie is suddenly writhing in pain!
[11:42] Shin
I thought it was strange how one handshake
[11:46] Shin
could turn anyone into a Galaxy
Kingdom Bitches 48 fanatic.
[11:49] Shin
Selling dreams is your job?
[11:51] Shin
That's not it.
[11:56] Shin
What you were showing them was just an
illusion, Galaxy Kingdom Bitches 48!
[12:02] Bit
C-Curse you!
[12:04] Com
Having lost her antenna, Miss Bitchie
has turned into a different person!
[12:08] Com
Th-That's not all! From behind
the bewitching curtains,
[12:11] Com
unfamiliar uggo idols are
tumbling out one after another!
[12:14] Taka
Shin-chan's right.
[12:17] Taka
Fans of any other idol would've been fine,
[12:20] Taka
but you ran out of luck when
you picked a fight with us.
[12:23] Taka
Your brainwashing won't work on us.
[12:26] Taka
Because...
[12:27] Taka
We're the universe's greatest fans
of the universe's greatest idol!
[12:30] Taka
Because we're the Terakado
Tsu Fanclub, dynamite!
[12:34] Shin
Taka-chin! Guys!
[12:36] Com
C-Can you believe it? The Terakado
Tsu Fanclub is back in action!
[12:41] Com
With their sheer love for Otsu-chan, they
exposed the brainwashing shenanigans!
[12:47] G
No way!
[12:48] G
Our number one idols in the universe!
[12:50] G
The shocking truth is making the
Galaxy Kingdom Bitches fans waver!
[12:54] G
Wait, the count went down to zero!
[12:57] G
It has been deemed invalid
due to brainwashing!
[13:00] G
Booger Diamonds 48 have pulled off
an miraculous last-ditch comeback!
[13:04] G
Let it be heard across the universe, men.
[13:07] G
Who the universe's greatest idol with
the universe's greatest fans is.
[13:14] G
Booger Diamonds 48 Fanclub, let's go!
[13:18] G
L-O-V-E Otsu!
[13:21] All
L-O-V-E Otsu!
[13:24] Shin
L-O-V-E Kagura!
[13:27] All
L-O-V-E Kagura!
[13:28] G
Let's go cheer them on, too.
[13:30] Com
The fanclub's Booger Diamonds 48
chant echoes across the arena.
[13:35] Com
Their overwhelming passion
[13:37] Com
is infecting the now recovered
Galaxy Kingdom Bitches fans!
[13:43] Com
Wh-What's this noise?!
[13:49] Bit
How dare you expose an idol's hidden
face, that which mustn't be seen!
[13:54] Bit
Mysterious sound waves are being emitted
by all of Galaxy Kingdom Bitches 48.
[14:00] Bit
If you found out, all we have to
do is brainwash you all once again.
[14:05] Bit
Keep dancing within the fantasies that
are idols for the rest of your lives...
[14:10] Bit
That's...
[14:14] Kag
Looks like this is the kind
of handshake you need.
[14:19] Com
Booger Diamonds 48's Kagura
stops Miss Bitchie!
[14:24] Com
In these final stages, she's turning
it into an actual fight of hands!
[14:27] Com
What are you morons doing?
Hurry up and brainwash...
[14:32] GKB
What's this awful noise?
[14:34] Tae
The time has come to show you
the fruits of our training.
[14:38] Com
Th-That's...
[14:39] Tae
Kagura-chan, leave the backing to us!
[14:42] Sac
Go grab idol stardom with your hands!
[14:44] Com
It's the backing band!
[14:46] Com
Diamond Vacuum's overwriting the mystery
sound waves with terrifying dissonance!
[14:52] Com
Suffering fans,
[14:52] Com
screaming fanclub,
[14:54] Com
and groaning backing band.
[14:55] Com
All of their fates now rest
in the hands of those two!
[14:59] Com
Is this really a meet-and-greet?
[15:02] Com
No, this is a battle with their idol careers
on the line! A real meet-and-beat!
[15:07] Bit
Do you really think you
have the right to stop us?
[15:11] Bit
Showing illusions and brainwashing
is something all idols do.
[15:15] Bit
Beneath the surface, idols
are filthy people, too.
[15:18] Bit
They hide that filth with cosmetic
surgery and show off their fake beauty.
[15:23] Bit
They hide that filth by putting on an
act and showing off their fake purity.
[15:28] Bit
The dreams you people are having are
nothing but illusions wrapped in lies!
[15:33] Bit
All we did was perfect those illusions
and make them more beautiful!
[15:38] Bit
And we did it to show you the
dreams that you wanted to see!
[15:42] Gin
You can't call those dreams.
[15:47] Gin
It's just giving up.
[15:49] Gin
Sure, idols dig their nostrils,
take dumps, and have , too.
[15:55] Gin*
They cause scandals at times and
get down in the dumps at others.
[15:59] Gin
But to make their pathetic selves
stand proud in the spotlight,
[16:04] Gin
they discipline themselves, strive to
improve, and struggle to stand on stage.
[16:09] Gin
You laugh that off as a mere illusion?
[16:12] Gin
Well, you're wrong.
[16:15] Gin
That's not an illusion. It's an ideal.
[16:19] Gin
The dream to crawl toward one's ideal.
[16:23] Gin
That's what idols are all about.
[16:25] Gin
Just like samurai,
[16:28] Gin
they're seekers of the ultimate dream.
[16:32] Tsu
Sorry to keep you waiting, menthol.
[16:36] Gin
And what those morons are having
[16:39] Gin
is a real dream they're
pursuing with their idols.
[16:42] Bit
I-It can't be. Why is she here?
[16:45] Kag
Idols really are best in a group.
[16:49] Kag
Our diamond is shining
especially bright right now,
[16:52] Kag
thanks to us massive boogers.
[16:56] Bit
Did they believe that she would come here?
[17:00] Bit
Were we—no, was this entire
event and its ugly battles—
[17:06] Bit
just a massive booger to make the
diamond called Otsu shine brighter?!
[17:11] Bit
You were using us all along?!
[17:13] Tsu
Kagura-chan! Guys!
[17:16] Kag
Otsu.
[17:17] Kag
It wasn't for long, but I had
fun being an idol with you.
[17:22] Kag
Let them hear it... Our
Booger Diamonds 48's song.
[17:27] Kag
The song of real idols, which can blow
away all illusions and brainwashing!
[17:31] Bit
Y-You little!
[17:34] Kag
Guys! Don't let some illusion control you!
[17:38] Kag
Take back your dreams!
[17:41] Kag
Listen to our song!
[17:43] Kag
And...
[17:44] Kag
Even if you hate Booger Diamonds 48,
[17:48] Kag
please don't come to hate Terakado Tsu!
[18:01] Tsu
Please lend me your ears.
[18:02] Tsu
Fellow members who have walked with me,
[18:05] Tsu
fans who have cheered me on,
[18:07] Tsu
and rivals who have competed with me.
[18:11] Tsu
All of you have been my pillar of support.
[18:15] Tsu
You are all part of Booger Diamonds 48,
and I dedicate this song to you.
[18:19] Tsu
This is An Idol's Badge of Honor.
[18:21] [SONG] Song
La la la, idol
[18:27] [SONG] Song
La la la, idol
[18:33] [SONG] Song
Accel, consul, it's dreams that we sell
[18:39] [SONG] Song
Idol, idol, idling
[18:42] [SONG] Song
Even on the edge, we've got the handling
[18:53] [SONG] Song
That scandal back then
[18:59] [SONG] Song
Was a summer sentence
[19:05] [SONG] Song
I know it's do or die, yes
[19:10] [SONG] Song
I could end up doing pillow business
[19:16] [SONG] Song
Even that day of the month is safe and secure
[19:22] [SONG] Song
Scarlet, blood ruby, an idol's badge of honor
[19:31] [SONG] Song
La la la, idol
[19:37] [SONG] Song
La la la, idol
[19:42] [SONG] Song
Foot soldier, loot and plunder, pillow seller
[19:48] [SONG] Song
Idol, idol, idling
[19:51] [SONG] Song
We can't swerve around aging
SIGN Oedo Dome
[20:04] Bit
How ironic it is
[20:05] Bit
that the stage on which an idol
stands to give people dreams
[20:09] Bit
is built on the wrecks of
countless other dreams.
[20:13] Bit
But that's why she shines brightly,
like a lone star in the dark.
[20:19] Bit
She will walk over our dreams
and those of her friends
[20:23] Bit
and continue down this path
of chaos we call idol stardom.
[20:28] Bit
I don't know if you'll be able to
make up for what you've sacrificed.
[20:32] Bit
You just let go of a talent
that could surpass Otsu.
[20:37] Bit
She has the ruthlessness
to take down her enemies,
[20:40] Bit
and the selflessness to cast
herself aside to help her friends.
[20:44] Bit
A diamond covered in boogers,
with two totally contrasting faces.
[20:47] Shin
Gin-san, Kagura-chan!
[20:49] Shin
Wait a second. Aren't you gonna watch?
[20:49] OMom
Yeah. I asked her if she
would like to keep at it,
[20:53] Gin
Damn it, I couldn't make any money again.
[20:54] OMom
but she refused, saying she was
already part of an idol group.
[20:58] OMom
It's too bad, but she's fine that way.
[21:02] OMom
I mean, she shines brightest
in that group of three.
[21:10] Song
Beyond all the cigarettes,
alcohol, and shaved heads,
[21:16] Song
the one who filled me
with passion again was...
[21:18] [SONG] Song
It was you, you, you
[21:28] Tsu
Thenk you.
[22:58] [SONG] TV
Knock it off already
[23:03] G
Otsu-chan really is cute.
[23:06] G
But there's something off about her lately.
[23:09] G
Look at what she started doing,
even though she's an idol.
[23:13] G
Apparently, she was influenced by
an idol group she really loves.
[23:18] G
A group that disbanded right
after making its debut.
[23:22] G
What was it called, again?
[23:23] Kag
Booger Diamonds 48.
[23:26] G
That's it! The phantom idol
group, Booger Diamonds 48!
[23:33] Kag
It's no phantom.
[23:35] Kag
It remains in my heart
[23:39] Kag
as the idol group of dreams!
SIGN Preview
[23:45] Tama
Just to let you know in advance,
[23:47] Tama
this isn't a sales promotion
for our upcoming game.
SIGN The Line Between Godlike Games and Shitty Games Is Paper-Thin
[23:50] Tama
We're just messing around.
SIGN There you have it,
SIGN so keep that in mind, all of you.
SIGN Next time, we're again going with wave, wind,
SIGN and standing all the way!
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