E138 - Why Not Talk About the Old Days for a Change?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:16] Tanakawomanman In Black A
    Welcome home, Ojiki!
[00:18] Tanaka
    Hey, where's sis?
[00:19] Man In Black A
    She's waiting upstairs.
[00:26] Woman A
    Papa! Papa!
[00:33] Woman C
    What?! Tanaka?!
[00:35] Woman C
    You idiot! Don't just stand there! Bring me the head of the guy who did it!
[00:39] Man In Black B
    S-Sorry.
[00:41] Woman C
    You little turd.
[00:42] Stainless Boy
    Sis, allow me to be of assistance.
[00:47] Man In Black C
    You two! Go that way!
[00:49] Men In Black
    Yes!
[00:54] Man In Black D
    Hey!
[00:55] Man In Black D
    Why are you sneaking around? Show yourself!
[01:05] Stainless Boy
    That psychogun attached to your arm... you're the Black Dragon, aren't you?
[01:15] Stainless Boy
    Do you know why they call me Stainless Boy?
[01:18] Stainless Boy
    That's because my body is made of a specially armored stainless steel.
[01:22] Stainless Boy
    That psychogun on your arm is useless.
[01:27] Kanemaru (Mono)
    That's right. I'm the Black Dragon.
[01:31] Kanemaru (Mono)
    The man with a gun for a right hand.
[01:32] Kanemaru (Mono)
    In a mad dash to kill me, they've done everything they can.
[01:37] Kanemaru (Mono)
    In front of me, somebody dies all the time.
[01:42] Kanemaru (Mono)
    Someone always fires a gun, but you know,
[01:45] Kanemaru (Mono)
    I really got sick and tired of that too much stupid days.
[01:50] Kanemaru (Mono)
    I threw away my face at all, and got rid of my past,
[01:56] Kanemaru (Mono)
    too the silly, funny, and bloody days...
SIGN    [Thanks for everything this year. Here's wishing for a prosperous new year! From Snack Otose]
[03:53] Shinpachi
    What? It's not dondake? I was sure it would win.
SIGN    [Snack House Otose]
[03:58] Shinpachi
    the Space Buzzword Grand Prix this year.
[04:00] Kagura
    It won in Edo, but, it's not even in the top 50. Space is big.
[04:06] Kagura
    Umm... What was fourth place? Smegma Prince?
[04:10] Shinpachi
    Ah. This year we still have that senseless "prince" boom.
[04:14] Kagura
    Oh. Huh? "Prince" is at number eight.
[04:16] Kagura
    I believe number four is "Where are the EXLE CDs?"
[04:21] Shinpachi
    What is that? Is that really popular?
[04:23] Kagura
    Third place is "My grandson asked me."
[04:27] Shinpachi
    Why are fourth place and third place connected?
[04:29] Shinpachi
    It sounds just like an old lady is trying to get an EXLE CD for her grandson.
[04:34] Shinpachi
    That grandson should buy his own CD.
[04:37] Shinpachi
    There's no way that an old lady would know about EXLE.
[04:39] Kagura
    Oh, yeah, "There's no way an old lady would know..." was number thirteen.
[04:43] Shinpachi
    Why are comments included in the ranking?!
[04:45] Kagura
    Number two is... Huh? I can't remember.
[04:49] ---
    I think number one is, "B'z are gonna be all right."
[04:52] Shinpachi
    Don't give up!
[04:54] Shinpachi
    Why did you give up and buy something else?
[04:56] Shinpachi
    Besides, B'z and EXLE are completely different musically!
[05:00] ---
    What in the world happened at number two?!
[05:05] Kagura
    Shinpachi, this is what happens when you yell.
[05:06] Shinpachi
    Why is it my fault?
[05:10] Kagura
    What is it? Is there an EXLE CD?
[05:12] Shinpachi
    A photo came out from behind the picture frame.
[05:15] Shinpachi
    It looks like a pretty old photo.
[05:20] Shinpachi
    Who is she?
[05:21] Shinpachi
    Could it be?
[05:22] Kagura
    It's his ex, isn't it?
[05:24] Shinpachi
    Huh? You think so? Yeah?
[05:27] Kagura
    There's no mistake.
[05:28] Kagura
    That lascivious air about them...
[05:30] Kagura
    They must've had a wet, sticky, lusty relationship.
[05:33] Kagura
    It's pretty effeminate of him to cling to this picture. Isn't it?
[05:39] Shinpachi
    Let's put it back now! Put it back, quickly!
[05:42] ---
    We've got to put it back before Gin comes back!
[05:43] ---
    He'll freak if he finds out we saw this.
[05:45] ---
    This makes a mother catching her son doing something nasty seem pale in comparison!
[05:49] Shinpachi
    Quickly! Quickly!
[05:50] Gintoki
    Hey. I bought some detergent.
[05:52] Shinpachi
    Gin's here! Hurry! Kagura! Quickly!
[05:55] Kagura
    Shut up! I'm putting it back now.
[06:05] Shinpachi
    Oh! W-Well...
[06:08] Shinpachi
    Gin! It's not like that! Umm... We didn't see anything!
[06:12] Shinpachi
    We don't know anything!
[06:14] Kagura
    Why are you still dragging that around?
[06:15] Kagura
    That woman probably doesn't even remember you.
[06:19] Shinpachi
    K-Kagura?!
[06:21] Gintoki
    Hey. What a great little piece of nostalgia.
[06:25] Gintoki
    Where did you find this?
[06:26] Shinpachi
    Well, while we were cleaning...it came out from behind the picture frame.
[06:30] Gintoki
    I see. So that's where it was.
[06:33] Shinpachi
    Huh? You seem kind of indifferent... But, huh? What is that? Who is that?
[06:39] Kagura
    That...
[06:41] Gintoki
    What is it? It's one of the Odd Jobs.
[06:44] Shinpachi
    Huh? "It's one the Odd Jobs"? But we're the Odd Jobs.
[06:48] Gintoki
    Now we are.
[06:49] Shinpachi
    "Now we are"?
[06:51] Kaguragintoki
    If anything, we're the new Odd Jobs.
[06:54] ---
    This was a prototype.
[06:56] Shinpachi
    A p-p-p-prototype? Hold on. You never told me about that!
[07:00] Gintoki
    Huh? Didn't I tell you about it?
SIGN    ["Let's Talk About The Old Days Once In A While"]
[07:14] Gintoki
    Basically, this was before you joined. It was around the time when I set this all up.
[07:18] Gintoki
    It was a time when I had, not you, but different friends.
[07:26] Shinpachi
    You said before that you had done this by yourself.
[07:29] Gintoki
    Did I?
[07:31] Shinpachi
    When we met, you were definitely by yourself.
[07:35] Gintoki
    In this business I do whatever people ask me to do.
[07:39] Shinpachi
    Setting up a new premise is problematic.
[07:42] Shinpachi
    We've already got 137 episodes to deal with.
[07:47] Gintoki
    Anyway, I basically work alone. But for short periods of time, I did it like that.
[07:53] Gintoki
    Inoue and Okuda also had times like that.
[07:57] Shinpachi
    Never heard of 'em. Who are they?
[08:00] Gintoki
    Anyway, a lot happens to adults.
[08:03] Shinpachi
    It feels kind of refreshing.
[08:05] Shinpachi
    I never knew we had more senior predecessors.
[08:07] Gintoki
    Senior? It's not that special.
[08:11] Gintoki
    It was just a temporary arrangement. We split up immediately.
[08:13] Shinpachi
    Huh? Then does that mean that that sensual beauty was also a member of Odd Jobs?
[08:18] Kagura
    What do you mean, "sensual?" That's gross, Shinpachi.
[08:22] Gintoki
    She wasn't really a member, sort of a semi-regular.
[08:26] Gintoki
    The closest comparison now would be Catherine.
[08:28] Kagura
    Catherine?!
[08:30] Shinpachi
    This is Catherine?
[08:32] Gintoki
    Well, she used to work at Granny's place.
[08:35] Gintoki
    She'd come to clean up once in a while.
[08:37] Gintoki
    She'd help with the Odd Jobs office work and accounting.
[08:41] Gintoki
    She was a good woman who'd look after you. Unlike Catherine.
[08:46] Gintoki
    How nostalgic...
[08:48] Shinpachi
    Catherine's job was a lot better back then, wasn't it?
[08:52] Gintoki
    Well, it was the good old days.
[08:54] Shinpachi
    Tell us more. What about us? Who filled our positions?
[09:00] Kagura
    I want to know. They probably don't compare to us, though.
[09:04] Gintoki
    The Odd Jobs hasn't changed at all. We worked in trios.
[09:08] Shinpachi
    Oh? Trios?
[09:10] Gintoki
    They were useless lumps just like you.
[09:13] ---
    Oh, here. I have a picture. Here.
[09:15] ---
    This guy had your job.
[09:17] ---
    Kanemaru, a four-eyed good-for-nothing whose job it was to make witty jokes.
[09:23] Shinpachi
    Kanemaru's totally high-end!
[09:25] Shinpachi
    What is this?! He doesn't look like a "Kanemaru" at all!
[09:28] Shinpachi
    He's a "brother"! He looks like he's straight out of downtown LA.
[09:33] Gintoki
    Naw, he sucked. He had a psychogun for a right hand, but he couldn't use it at all.
[09:39] Shinpachi
    I bet he could use it! No matter how I look at it, he had to have been able to use it!
[09:42] Gintoki
    Kanemaru worked as a no-account waiter.
[09:46] Gintoki
    He lived an uneventful life.
[09:49] Gintoki
    But when he got into a virtual simulator to unwind he remembered his true past.
[09:55] Shinpachi
    What's with the expository tone of voice?
[09:57] Shinpachi
    Besides, we already know that setup. We know it really well!
[10:06] Gintoki
    Kanemaru was so feared in the underworld that his nickname was Black Dragon.
[10:14] Kanemaru
    Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
[10:16] Kanemaru
    Fuck you!
[10:19] Gintoki
    Indeed, his fighting abilities surpassed everyone else's.
[10:22] ---
    After that, he ended up working here.
[10:26] Shinpachi
    But I don't really understand what "after that" is referring to. What is "that"?
[10:31] Gintoki
    Well, a lot of things. This and that.
[10:34] Shinpachi
    But what's "this and that"?
[10:36] Gintoki
    Adult stuff. You don't want to go there.
[10:39] Shinpachi
    Oh, okay. Sorry. So how was Kanemaru?
[10:42] Gintoki
    He wasn't bad. What sucked were...his witty jokes.
[10:47] Shinpachi
    Ah... I see.
[10:49] Gintoki
    It's just not the Odd Jobs without any witty repartee.
[10:52] Shinpachi
    Well, he was a foreigner. What could you do? There's a language barrier.
[10:56] Gintoki
    Yes. I remember he surprised me once when we were at a family restaurant.
[11:03] Gintoki
    We ordered lasagna and chazuke, but...
[11:06] Waitress
    Thank you for waiting.
[11:07] Gintoki
    The waiter gave me the lasagna
[11:12] Gintoki
    and gave him the chazuke.
[11:14] Shinpachi
    Huh? She gave the chazuke to Kanemaru?
[11:17] Gintoki
    Yes.
[11:17] Gintoki
    So I had a lasagna that Girolamo or Lana would love.
[11:22] Waitress
    Is everything all right?
[11:25] Shinpachi
    Aw... You better say something about that, Kanemaru.
[11:28] Shinpachi
    Read the situation. Say, "Do I look like I eat chazuke?!"
[11:31] Kanemaru
    Oh, shit! Oh my god!
[11:34] Kagura
    It's no good. He's only saying western words, like "fuck you," or "oh my god."
[11:39] Kagura
    It's impossible for a foreigner.
[11:41] Kagura
    Shinpachi is the best at making witty comments.
[11:42] Kanemaru
    Miss, I asked fer ume chazuke, not sake chazuke.
[11:48] Shinpachi
    He can speak Japanese?!
[11:49] Waitress
    I'm sorry. I'll exchange it.
[11:51] Shinpachi
    Hey, Kanemaru is the one who's ordering chazuke!
[11:54] Kanemaru
    No biggie. Just be careful the next time.
[11:57] Shinpachi
    That aside, why are you eating lasagna? It's usually the other way around!
[12:01] Kanemaru
    Ah... Japanese people love chazuke the most!
[12:05] Kanemaru
    Hey, who am I calling Japanese?!
[12:07] Shinpachi
    That's top class! It's a well-made remark.
[12:09] Shinpachi
    It's like a witty comment from Kansai itself!
[12:10] Gintoki
    Kanemaru was from the Kansai region.
[12:13] Gintoki
    His grandmother was Japanese so he was into Enka and Dotonbori.
[12:18] Shinpachi
    What, is he Jero?!
[12:20] Gintoki
    Kamemaru always used to say, "I'm not a Japanese person. I'm a Kansai person."
[12:25] Shinpachi
    No such Kansai person exists. He has a psychogun!
[12:30] Shinpachi
    I've lost all confidence.
[12:32] ---
    He's got me beat coming and going.
[12:34] Kagura
    Well, anyone could fill your position if he wanted to.
[12:39] ---
    There wasn't anyone in my place, was there, Gin?
[12:42] Gintoki
    There was someone who filled the Kagura position.
[12:45] Kagura
    What?!
[12:45] Gintoki
    Here. The dazzling Ikezawa.
[12:48] Shinpachi
    He's almost exactly like the other guy!
[12:50] ---
    How is he dazzling?!
[12:52] Kagura
    Just what the hell do you think my job here is, you naturally-wavy-haired bastard!
[12:55] Kagura
    I'll squirt ya with juice from this tangerine!
[12:58] Gintoki
    Ow! It got in my eye.
[13:00] Shinpachi
    And why the hell are all of your people armed with psychoguns?!
[13:03] Gintoki
    Oh, sorry. My bad.
[13:06] Gintoki
    This is Furuhashi. He filled the Sadaharu position.
[13:09] Shinpachi
    This isn't getting any easier!
[13:11] Gintoki
    Furuhashi was like a mascot for us.
[13:15] Gintoki
    He had a very charming personality. His only flaw was his monstrous appetite.
[13:21] ---
    But he was a cute mascot.
[13:23] Shinpachi
    I don't want a mascot like him. He isn't all that different from Kanemaru!
[13:26] Gintoki
    Sorry. My mistake. Here's Kagura's spot.
[13:30] Gintoki
    The dazzling Ikezawa.
[13:34] Shinpachi
    She's pretty cute. Aren't you glad, Kagura?
[13:37] Kagura
    She's not all that. She's just female.
[13:41] Kagura
    You have no regard for my position if you think she could stand-in for me!
[13:45] Gintoki
    No, I'm not talking about her.
[13:48] Kagurakagura
    She's the same thing!
[13:52] Kagura
    She just has a sake bottle instead of a psychogun! Gimme a freakin' break!
[13:57] Kagura
    How is this me?!
[13:59] Gintoki
    Calm down. Ikezawa used to be a housewife.
[14:04] Gintoki
    But her husband began cheating on her at work and never came home.
[14:09] Gintoki
    So she became a drunk. After that, she'd always say "uh-huh" just like Kagura.
[14:15] Ikezawa
    Alcohol! Alcohol, please!
[14:18] Ikezawa
    Hey! Alcohol, please.
[14:21] Kagura
    What kind of use of "uh-huh" is that?!
[14:23] Gintoki
    Don't worry. Ikezawa doesn't drink anymore.
[14:26] Gintoki
    She recovered and she's getting alimony.
[14:28] Kagura
    What about that?
[14:31] Shinpachi
    Anyway, what kind of Odd Jobbers are these people anyway?!
[14:33] Shinpachi
    It's just full of Kanemarus! It wouldn't sell.
[14:35] Shinpachi
    They'd never turn this into an anime.
[14:37] Gintoki
    Really? When Hedoro was on the cover, they said it wouldn't sell.
[14:42] ---
    But when Kanemaru was on the cover,
[14:45] ---
    we sold [censored] thousand copies of the first print.
[14:47] ---
    It's totally copacetic. Even the anime...
[14:51] Kanemaru
    You bastards! Do you see this old man?!
[14:56] Ikezawa
    That's my pickled seaweed!
[15:02] Gintoki
    Hey... What are you eating?!
[15:04] Gintoki
    Perhaps something like that?
[15:06] Kanemaru
    I don't want to see my sister off while she's in tears.
[15:13] Ikezawa
    Gin, what'll we do if she really is in love?
[15:17] Ikezawa
    We'll be the villains.
[15:19] Gintoki
    You're used to being a villain, aren't you?
[15:21] Gintoki
    And also getting in people's way... Kanemaru, remember that.
[15:28] Gintoki
    We're not allies of justice, or your sister's allies.
[15:33] Gintoki
    We're your allies!
[15:35] Gintoki
    Something like that.
[15:49] Gintoki
    Take a look at this.
[15:52] Shinpachi
    Her, too?!
[15:55] Kaguraikezawa
    Wait!
[15:56] Kanemaru
    Tama...
[15:58] Ikezawakanemaru
    Gin...
[16:00] Gintoki
    You can't tell the difference.
[16:02] Shinpachi
    There's a huge difference!
[16:04] Kaguragintoki
    Don't say that. They're your seniors.
[16:08] Kaguragintoki
    They're my precious friends with whom I shared countless adventures!
[16:14] Gintoki
    Look at this. This is when we caught the phantom thief that was terrorizing Edo.
[16:18] Gintoki
    That was really tough.
[16:19] Gintoki
    This is when we took down a killer. The morning sun sure was bright.
[16:24] Gintoki
    This is when we caught a purse-snatcher.
[16:26] Gintoki
    That old lady was in tears when we brought her stuff back.
[16:30] Gintoki
    This is when we beat up a pervert. That lady was really grateful.
[16:34] Gintoki
    This is...What was this? That was the time we did something.
[16:40] Gintoki
    This is... I kind of forgot.
[16:42] Gintoki
    Hmm... I'm not sure.
[16:46] Shinpachi
    They never bonded with you at all!
[16:48] Shinpachi
    They were just wandering around! They didn't warm up to you at all!
[16:52] Gintoki
    That's not true.
[16:53] Gintoki
    Kids like you might not understand this,
[16:56] Gintoki
    but adults leave this much space between themselves when they associate with each other.
[16:59] ---
    They don't get all touchy, and taking a piss together is off limits.
[17:02] Shinpachi
    Those two are getting pretty touchy behind you!
[17:05] Kagura
    Kanemaru and Ikezawa totally have a thing for each other.
[17:09] Shinpachi
    Looks like those two are bonding,
[17:11] Shinpachi
    leaving Gin by himself.
[17:15] Kagura
    You've become like Parc Manther from Glope.
[17:18] Kagura
    You're the most Japanese, but you turned into Parc.
[17:23] Gintoki
    Shut up!
[17:25] ---
    I'm not Parc Manther! I lead the Odd Jobs.
[17:27] Gintoki
    I'm [censored]!
[17:28] Shinpachi
    No. I've never seen such a lonely [censored].
[17:31] Gintoki
    Don't be silly. I'm [censored].
[17:33] Gintoki
    I don't feel pathetic at all!
[17:35] Gintoki
    I actually supported their relationship. But as the director of Odd Jobs...
[17:42] Gintoki
    I warned them not to get wrapped up in their relationship and ignore their work.
[17:48] Gintoki
    Well, young people these days just go to pieces when you just slap them around a bit,
[17:53] Gintoki
    so before I knew it, they disappeared.
[17:56] Shinpachi
    They didn't just happen to disappear!
[17:57] Shinpachi
    You still have some terrifying pictures! Black Dragon is drowning here!
[18:01] Shinpachi
    What are you doing?!
[18:05] Shinpachi
    We were gonna wrap this up all nice, but it's been filthy all the way through!
[18:09] Kagura
    Don't you have even one or two nice stories?!
[18:14] Shinpachi
    Now I know that Odd Jobs doesn't have anything good in its history!
[18:17] Kagura
    If we leave it up to him, he'll take us
    straight down the road to destruction!
[18:22] Shinpachi
    Let's handle the Odd Jobs without him.
[18:24] Kagura
    We're going to make history!
[18:27] Kagura
    It's the supporting characters who keep a series afloat, not the main character!
[18:30] Shinpachi
    That's right. The main character is just an ornament.
[18:34] Shinpachi
    People in high positions don't understand that.
[19:01] Gintoki
    Ow, ow, ow. They really kicked my ass! Don't they know how to hold back?
[19:12] Gintoki
    What is it?
SIGN    [MIND YOUR SUGAR LEVELS]
SIGN    [Sugar Content]
[19:33] Gintoki
    I hope next year will be a good one!
SIGN    [A few years later]
[19:43] Manager
    No, you idiot! Not that one! It's right there. There!
[19:47] Manager
    Even a chimp can work a cash register!
[19:51] Manager
    You're a human, right?
[19:52] Manager
    You've been here for a year! How can you not know this?!
[19:56] ---
    I...I'm sorry. I've only pro...practiced long-range fires up till now...
[20:01] Manager
    You bastard! Still clinging to your gun!
[20:06] Manager
    I don't care if you're a hitman or a hit-maker.
[20:08] Manager
    How long are you going to act like a cool guy, huh?!
[20:13] Kanemaru
    Katana, samurai?!
[20:20] Gintoki
    Blah, blah, blah! Just look at this.
[20:24] Gintoki
    Because of you guys... my awesome chocolate parfait
[20:28] Gintoki
    spilled on the floor!
[20:32] Kanemaru (Mono)
    He was called a samurai, but he was too wild for the norm.
[20:38] Kanemaru (Mono)
    Even though he was called a hoodlum,
[20:41] Kanemaru (Mono)
    this man had eyes that were sharp with seriousness.
[20:46] Kanemaru (Mono)
    That was my first impression to the "otoko."
[20:50] Gintoki
    Tell your manager that this parfait is on you.
SIGN    [Starting January 8th, 2009]
SIGN    [Gin Tama - The Final Chapter]
SIGN    [The Second Chapter Begins]
[22:33] Gintoki
    The underground city, Yoshiwara Shangri-La.
[22:36] ---
    Sustained by corrupt government officials,
[22:39] ---
    it is a heavenly city ignored by the government and beyond the reach of the law.
SIGN    [Yoshiwara In Flames Arc]
SIGN    [Boy of Ill Fate - Seita]
SIGN    [Guard of Yoshiwara - Tsukuyo]
SIGN    [A Ray of Sunlight in the Ever Darkness of Night - Hinowa]
SIGN    [King of the Night - Housen]
SIGN    [And...]
[23:03] Kamui
    You're in my way.
[23:05] Kamui
    Move it.
[23:07] ---
    I said I have no time for the weak.
SIGN    ["Don't Put Your Wallet In Your Back Pocket"]
SIGN    [Karmic reunification?! Chance encounter with the young boy, Seita.]
SIGN    [He was gathering money in order to see Hinowa, the top Yoshiwara lady of the night.]