E158 - If a Friend Gets Injured, Take Him to the Hospital, Stat!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Chunentai(Song)
    Feeling all beat by 6 PM.
SIGN    [The Tamo-san Hour Smile! Is that Good?]
[00:02] Chunentai(Song)
    Virgins tend to be timid.
[00:05] Chunentai(Song)
    Getting all bitchy by 6 PM.
[00:08] Chunentai(Song)
    Still gonna be a virgin tomorrow.
[00:13] Chunentai(Song)
    Watashi wa Tomu desu.
[00:15] Chunentai(Song)
    I am Tom.
[00:18] Tamosan(Song)
    No way I could possibly know that!
[00:21] Tamosan(Song)
    Hey! Who the hell's Tom?!
[00:23] Chunentai(Song)
    Yosan wo agete.
[00:25] Chunentai(Song)
    Give me money!
[00:28] Tamosan(Song)
    We're the only ones using 4:3 in this day and age.
[00:33] Chunentai(Song)
    After all these years, the costs haven't changed!
[00:36] Tamosan(Song)
    Apologizing when you don't even mean it.
[00:41] Tamosan(Song)
    Opening up when the black ships come!
SIGN    [Note: This is a reference to American Admiral Perry's black ships that opened up Japan's period of isolation in 1853.]
[00:43] Tamosan(Song)
    Laugh away! Bitchin' sparking! Yay!
[00:46] Chunentai(Song)
    There's always the next life.
[00:49] Tamosan(Song)
    So it's all good!
[00:51] Chunentai(Song)
    Project X.
SIGN    [Note: Project X is a Japanese TV documentary series.]
[00:54] Tamosan(Song)
    Tomoro Taguchi!
SIGN    [Note: Tomoro Taguchi is the Japanese voice actor who narrates in Project X.]
[00:56] Chunentai(Song)
    It's all good. It's all good.
[00:59] Tamosan(Song)
    Taguchi!
[01:00] All(Song)
    Tomoro!
[01:06] Tamosan
    We'll move on to the next segment.
[01:16] Tamosan
    Good evening.
[01:17] All
    Good evening!
[01:19] Tamosan
    Huh? The same audience as last week?
[01:21] All
    Sure is!
[01:23] Tamosan
    Isn't coincidence a scary thing?
[01:26] All
    Sure is!
[01:27] Tamosan
    And yeah, we're just recycling, aren't we?
[01:31] All
    Sure are.
[01:32] Tamosan
    We have Ketsuno here.
[01:34] Tamosan
    It's a pleasure.
[01:35] Ketsuno
    The pleasure is all mine.
[01:38] Tamosan
    Now we have a guest introduced by Mako-chan-san yesterday.
[01:42] Tamosan
    Sadaharu-san!
[01:57] Tamosan
    Uh, wait?
[01:58] Tamosan
    This is a dog, right?
[02:00] Tamosan
    It's big, but it's a dog, right?
[02:02] Tamosan
    Uh, we're supposed to be doing an interview here, right?
[02:05] Tamosan
    How do we make this work?
[02:06] Makoto Chan
    Then I'll introduce you to Sadaharu.
[02:11] Tamosan
    This is just a dog.
[02:13] Tamosan
    You're a funny guy, Mako-chan.
[02:15] Tamosan
    There's somebody in this thing, right?
[02:18] Tamosan
    Yeah, I was joking when I agreed to this yesterday.
[02:22] Tamosan
    What do I do here?
[02:23] Tamosan
    I can't do anything about this.
[02:24] Tamosan
    And how the hell could he introduce a dog to me?
[02:26] Tamosan
    Huh? A poster?
SIGN    [Note: In shows like this, an actor or musician usually brings a poster to promote a movie or event.]
[02:28] Tamosan
    Huh? Why?
[02:29] Tamosan
    Is that supposed to be some kind of advertisement?
[02:31] Tamosan
    And why is it still here?
[02:34] Tamosan
    Why didn't anybody on the staff stop this?
[02:36] Tamosan
    A dog can't be allowed on stage when it's this big.
[02:40] Tamosan
    Wait, maybe this dog's...
[02:42] Tamosan
    A genius?
[02:44] Tamosan
    I see.
[02:44] Tamosan
    That must be it.
[02:46] Tamosan
    This dog must understand a fair amount of human speech.
[02:49] Tamosan
    That's why it's here.
[02:51] Tamosan
    I've got a chance then.
[02:53] Tamosan
    I haven't spent twenty-five years hosting this show for nothing.
[02:55] Tamosan
    I've handled all kinds of guests.
[02:58] Tamosan
    As long as it understands my words, I'll make it out like always!
[03:00] Tamosan
    I can do a genius dog!
[03:04] Tamosan
    Did you get a haircut...
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Cozy Tomita who is an impersonator of Tamoro.]
SIGN    ["If a Friend Gets Injured, Take Him to the Hospital, Stat!"]
[04:43] N
    Next time on TV Mix-and-Match:
[04:46] N
    The pianist battle to decide Tsu Terakado's official fan club!
[04:50] N
    Expect a great show!
[04:53] Shinpachi
    The pianist battle to decide Otsu-chan's official fan club?!
[04:58] Takachin
    If we participate and win, we can still become official!
[05:05] Takachin
    So we still have a chance!
[05:10] Hijikata
    So this is what they mean by running into Buddha in hell.
[05:13] Hijikata
    You've been saved by Otsu-chan...
[05:16] Hijikata
    Members of the Tsu Terakado Fan Club.
[05:19] Hijikata
    Well, it just means that you get to survive a little longer.
[05:23] Hijikata
    The outcome will be the same, no matter what the contest is.
[05:28] Hijikata
    The fact is that you people can't defeat me.
[05:33] Hijikata
    I'll see you on the stage.
[05:35] Hijikata
    I'll send those drooping heads flying off.
[05:42] Shinpachi
    Wait.
[05:44] Shinpachi
    Toshi.
[05:46] Shinpachi
    No...
[05:47] Shinpachi
    Hijikata-san.
[05:49] Shinpachi
    You aren't Toshi.
[05:51] Shinpachi
    You're Hijikata-san, aren't you?
[05:54] Shinpachi
    Toshi is a cowardly otaku.
[05:57] Shinpachi
    He would never barge into the enemy's territory.
[06:01] Shinpachi
    And I don't remember him laughing so obnoxiously.
[06:05] Shinpachi
    And most importantly of all,
[06:07] Shinpachi
    he would never smoke cigarettes!
[06:15] Shinpachi
    Hijikata-san, what are you plotting?
[06:19] Shinpachi
    Posing as Toshi and making contact with otaku...
[06:23] Shinpachi
    Gathering all those otaku together to make a huge faction...
[06:27] Shinpachi
    And aiming to become Otsu-chan's official fan club on top of that...
[06:31] Shinpachi
    What is your objective?
[06:34] Shinpachi
    What are you trying to do?
[06:38] Hijikata
    As you all know, Toshi was born after I laid my hands on the demon sword.
[06:44] Hijikata
    A Toshiro Hijikata with his pathetic otaku characteristics amplified via a curse.
[06:50] Hijikata
    He isn't a different personality I created.
[06:54] Hijikata
    He's the real Toshiro Hijikata.
[06:56] Toshi
    Mr. Hijikata!
[06:57] Hijikata
    But despite my acceptance,
[07:00] Hijikata
    he attempted to separate from me as a separate personality
[07:03] Hijikata
    and sealed himself deep inside.
[07:04] Toshi
    Mr. Hijikata!
[07:05] Toshi
    Wait, Mr. Hijikata!
[07:06] Hijikata
    He would probably disappear eventually.
[07:08] Hijikata
    That's what I thought.
[07:10] Hijikata
    But I kept waiting and he never disappeared.
[07:15] Hijikata
    He's still waiting with sharp eyes to take over my body when given the chance.
[07:23] Hijikata
    Can you understand?
[07:25] Hijikata
    How I felt after getting my hands on a nice cabinet
[07:28] Hijikata
    and looking forward to what I might put inside,
[07:31] Hijikata
    only to find it filled with pretty girl anime DVDs before I knew it?
[07:39] Hijikata
    Can you understand?
[07:41] Hijikata
    How I felt when I was preparing to head out into battle,
[07:45] Otaku A
    Oh, Mr. Hijikata.
SIGN    [Otaku Attack] [Note: Parody of the title of Neon Genesis Evangelion TV episode 1.]
[07:50] Hijikata
    only to be corralled by friends I didn't know to an hour long discussion about Ovangelion.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Evangelion.]
[08:03] Shinpachi
    That's enough.
[08:06] Hijikata
    I'm tired of the days of fighting.
[08:10] Hijikata
    Fighting on the outside, fighting on the inside...
[08:14] Hijikata
    When will I be able to rest?
[08:17] Hijikata
    Even if the demon sword was the catalyst,
[08:20] Hijikata
    he's still part of my personality.
[08:24] Hijikata
    I didn't refuse the fight.
[08:27] Hijikata
    I chose to face him head-on and talk.
[08:31] Hijikata
    "I don't want to disappear without accomplishing anything.
[08:34] Hijikata
    I want to leave proof of my existence."
[08:37] Hijikata
    That's what he said.
[08:39] Hijikata
    This is Toshi's dream.
[08:43] Hijikata
    My way of paying tribute to the departure of someone I gave birth to.
[08:49] Hijikata
    I will master the way of the otaku!
[08:53] Hijikata
    I will unite all otaku and become the king of otaku!
[08:59] Hijikata
    And etch proof of his existence into this world...into people's hearts!
[09:06] Hijikata
    I won't stop.
[09:08] Hijikata
    To help him rest in peace and to regain full control of this body,
[09:12] Hijikata
    I'll conquer the otaku world!
[09:15] Shinpachi
    Hijikata-san...
[09:17] Kagura
    Hey, Gin-chan.
[09:19] Kagura
    What's the king of otaku?
[09:21] Kagura
    How do you become one?
[09:22] Kagura
    Do you have to get a license somewhere?
[09:25] Gintoki
    You can get one at the school in la-la land.
[09:29] Hijikata
    The top idol, Tsu Terakado.
[09:31] Hijikata
    With her in hand, I can stand at the top of all otaku.
[09:36] Hijikata
    My long battle will finally be over.
[09:39] Gintoki
    In hand? You're just going to be her fan club.
[09:42] Gintoki
    Yeah? Do you people understand?
[09:44] Hijikata
    Will you still try to stop me?
[09:47] Hijikata
    Will you interfere, knowing that this fight is for establishing my own existence?
[09:55] Shinpanchi
    Sorry, but I can't hand Otsu-chan over to someone who doesn't even love her.
[10:00] Gintoki
    Hand over? She was never yours to begin with.
[10:04] Gintoki
    I'm starting to repeat myself, but this is just a little fan club dispute.
[10:20] Hijikata
    That's what I thought you would say.
[10:23] Hijikata
    It appears that this battle was inevitable.
[10:26] Shinpachi
    It's the fan club's duty to protect the princess to the very end.
[10:33] Hijikata
    Stop my conquest if you can!
[10:38] Shinpachi
    Let's finish this, Hijikata-san!
[10:43] Both
    I'll be the one to become the Tsu Terakado Official Fan Club!
[10:58] Otsu
    Everybody!
[11:00] Otsu
    Do you like Otsu?!
[11:03] Both
    We love you!
[11:05] Otsu
    You love me lots?!
[11:07] Both
    We love you lots and lots!
[11:11] Otsu
    You love me lots and lots and lots?!
[11:13] Both
    We love you lots and lots and lots and lots!
[11:18] N
    A TV Mix-and-Match Special!
[11:20] N
    The pianist battle to decide Tsu Terakado's official fan club!
[11:27] N
    Okay, so we're on our way.
[11:30] N
    What do you think, Otsu-chan?
[11:32] N
    Impressive showing, right?
[11:34] N
    Five thousand fans gathered here for you!
[11:38] Otsu
    Wow! Amazing!
[11:39] Otsu
    Everybody!
[11:41] Otsu
    Thank you! Suicide dive!
[11:43] N
    This is after we narrowed the numbers down significantly.
[11:47] N
    So from the five thousand people gathered here today,
[11:50] N
    in other words, from the 1,250 teams of four,
[11:54] N
    only one team will be chosen.
[11:55] N
    Only four of the five thousand people here will be able
[11:58] N
    to win the honor of becoming members of Otsu-chan's official fan club.
[12:03] N
    Well, this will be a difficult wall to climb.
[12:06] N
    How excited is everyone here?
[12:09] N
    Do you want to become Otsu-chan's official fan club?!
[12:17] N
    Are you willing to put up with any ordeal for the sake
[12:19] N
    of becoming Otsu-chan's official fan club?!
[12:24] N
    Are you willing to go anywhere for Otsu-chan, whether it's into fire or into water?!
[12:32] Gintoki
    Would you be able to eat Otsu-chan's ****?!
[12:40] Staff A
    Wh-What's wrong with those people?!
[12:42] Staff A
    How can they say that stuff on a live broadcast?!
[12:45] Staff B
    They still managed to beep it just fine.
[12:47] Staff A
    Somebody!
[12:47] Staff A
    Get rid of those people!
[12:49] Staff A
    Commercial! Cut to a commercial!
[12:50] N
    OEDO Record.
[12:52] N
    Tsu Terakado's long awaited single is on sale now!
[12:56] Gintoki
    Okay.
[12:57] Gintoki
    This is a pain, so let's go right to the final challenge.
[13:01] Gintoki
    We're going to distribute some of Otsu-chan's **** right now.
[13:04] Gintoki
    The team who finishes eating first wins.
[13:07] Kagura
    Whenever you're ready!
[13:10] Guy A
    What kind of challenge is that?!
[13:11] Guy A
    And how much **** do you think Otsu-chan can put out?!
[13:14] Guy B
    Stop ridiculing Otsu-chan!
[13:16] Guy C
    Otsu-chan doesn't **** or fart!
[13:18] Guy C
    Get lost scum!
[13:21] Gintoki
    You're the ones who should get lost, brats.
[13:23] Gintoki
    When you love a person,
[13:26] Gintoki
    that means you also love the dirty stuff about her.
[13:29] Gintoki
    When you pretend she doesn't **** and ignore the dirty stuff, you're out of the question.
[13:35] Gintoki
    Get out of here, cherry boys.
[13:37] Gintoki
    Our boss here boasts that he can down eight whole plates.
[13:42] Gintoki
    You people won't be able to beat our Tsu Terakado Fan Club in this lifetime.
[13:47] Shinpachi
    Uh, could you stop making stuff up?
[13:52] Guy A
    The Tsu Terakado Fan Club?
[13:53] Guy B
    They're the legendary...
[13:55] Guy B
    Impossible.
[13:56] Guy B
    I heard they were destroyed by a rising new force.
[14:01] Guy A
    I didn't expect them to still be around!
[14:07] Guy C
    This isn't funny!
[14:08] Guy C
    I came because I figured I had a chance, since they were gone!
[14:12] Guy F
    Eight plates isn't humanly possible!
[14:14] Guy F
    I was expecting one plate at most, which just shows he's on a whole different level.
[14:18] Guy A
    I'm the first one out!
[14:19] Guy B
    Second!
[14:21] N
    Oh, this is a surprising scene.
[14:24] N
    The appearance of the Tsu Terakado Fan Club has led to teams giving up one after another!
[14:29] N
    The Tsu Terakado Fan Club is a fearsome force!
[14:32] Security
    What are you doing?!
[14:33] Security
    Get down here!
[14:34] N
    Overwhelming other teams without even fighting!
[14:36] N
    A good portion of the teams have taken flight after that scat talk!
[14:41] Shinpachi
    Gin-san, I appreciate this.
[14:42] Gintoki
    You understand, right?
[14:44] Gintoki
    I don't care about the membership cards.
[14:46] Gintoki
    The reward money is all mine.
[14:49] Kagura
    What are you talking about?
[14:50] Kagura
    The reward money's mine.
[14:52] Kagura
    That's why I listened to Otsu-chan's songs over and over until I could sing them from memory.
[14:58] Kagura
    Your big brother's a hi-
[15:04] Gintoki
    Are you stupid? Dying?
[15:05] Gintoki
    This isn't a singing contest.
[15:07] Takachin
    Hey...
[15:08] Takachin
    Shin-chan, are these people really going to work?
[15:11] N
    Uh, cut the chatter.
[15:13] N
    Tsu Terakado Fan Club,
[15:14] N
    if you pull something like this again, you'll be immediately disqualified.
[15:18] N
    Well, we had an unexpected disruption, but please calm down, everybody.
[15:23] N
    Otsu-chan, are you okay?
[15:25] Otsu
    U-Um...
[15:26] Otsu
    Yes.
[15:27] N
    Sorry about embarrassing you like that.
[15:30] N
    But everybody who stayed is able to eat Otsu-chan's ****, so you don't have to worry.
[15:35] Guy D
    Stop talking about ****, MC!
[15:39] N
    I apologize.
[15:40] N
    We've lost quite a few teams, but we'll carry on as planned.
[15:45] N
    The people who already left would never have survived till the end.
[15:49] N
    Understood, everybody?
[15:51] N
    I'll explain the prelims so listen carefully.
[15:55] N
    We have approximately one thousand teams of four people here,
[16:01] N
    but only four teams will make it to the final selection!
[16:07] Guy D
    Only four teams out of a thousand?!
[16:10] Guy E
    A fierce battle right off the bat?!
[16:13] N
    Only those who truly love Otsu-chan can win the honor of being Otsu-chan's Official Fan Club!
[16:19] N
    However, there is no way to measure love!
[16:22] N
    In that case, you'll have to show me your love!
[16:25] Kagura
    You call yourself a hyooooo-man?
[16:25] N
    Use your knowledge, stamina, and everything else you have to reach your beloved Otsu-chan!
[16:28] Kagura
    What planet is your maaaa-ma fr-
[16:34] N
    The prelims will be a test of...
[16:36] N
    Stamina!
[16:37] N
    Otsu-chan will now take a helicopter to OEDO TV.
[16:41] N
    It's over there.
[16:44] N
    We have a ten kilometer course from the riverbed to OEDO TV.
[16:48] N
    You'll have to run it.
[16:52] N
    The first four people to reach Otsu-chan...
[16:56] N
    The teams those people belong to will earn the right to proceed to the final contest!
[17:01] N
    In other words, it doesn't matter if you have a slow ass on your team.
[17:05] N
    As long as one member ranks in the top four, your team proceeds!
[17:08] N
    But don't forget this:
[17:10] N
    If anybody on the team gives up, that team is immediately disqualified!
[17:17] Otsu
    Everybody!
[17:19] Otsu
    Come quick!
[17:20] Otsu
    I'll be waiting!
[17:22] Otsu
    Then, is everybody ready?!
[17:25] Guy D
    Huh? We're already starting? Already starting?
[17:27] Otsu
    Ready...
[17:29] Otsu
    Set!
[17:32] Otsu
    Go fish!
[17:47] Gintoki
    Why do otaku have such a hard time understanding how to use their bodies?
[17:52] Gintoki
    If they sprint at the very beginning, they're not going to last ten kilometers.
[17:56] Gintoki
    You'll always find people who race off at the beginning and drop off later on like Yamcha.
SIGN    [Note: Yamcha is a character from Dragon Ball.]
[18:02] Takachin
    Shin-chan, let's run together.
[18:04] Takachin
    Let's cross the line together.
[18:06] Gintoki
    Kagura, you take care of the rest.
[18:08] Gintoki
    I'm gonna take it easy.
[18:09] Kagura
    Woo-hoo!
[18:10] Kagura
    The money's mine!
[18:12] Gintoki
    Fifty-fifty, fool.
[18:13] Kagura
    Yahoo!
[18:19] Gintoki
    Buddy, this is so easy that I can feel mushrooms growing out of my belly button.
[18:23] Shinpachi
    Stop, you're killing me.
[18:25] Gintoki
    So easy that...
SIGN    [Note: Parody of TV series from the 90s, "Ai to iu nano motoni" (In the name of love).]
[18:26] Gintoki
    the Hideo Nakao in my belly button was tricked by a Filipino woman and almost killed himself.
[18:30] Shinpachi
    Stop, you're killing me.
[18:32] Shinpachi
    And that joke is ancient.
[18:34] Gintoki
    How can we possibly lose to a bunch of flabby otaku with their bellies hanging out?
[18:38] Gintoki
    There wasn't any need for me to participate.
[18:41] Shinpachi
    That may apply to the otaku...
[18:44] Gintoki
    What is it?
[18:45] Gintoki
    Are you worried about something?
[18:46] Shinpachi
    Well, I can't find Hijikata-san.
[18:50] Gintokki
    What? You're still worried about him?
[18:52] Shinpachi
    Why isn't he around?
[18:54] Shinpachi
    Well, I suppose it'd be hard to spot him in this huge crowd.
[18:58] Gintoki
    There's no need to worry.
[19:00] Gintoki
    It's possible that after all that big talk, he failed to finish the paperwork.
[19:05] Gintoki
    Whatever.
[19:06] Gintoki
    Anyway, I'm tired, so I'll take a sedan to the TV station.
[19:10] Gintoki
    I'll be rolling around in prize money, so I might as well start splurging now.
[19:14] Gintoki
    Hey, sedan!
[19:16] Shinpachi
    Hey!
[19:17] Shinpachi
    How lazy are you?!
[19:20] Shinpachi
    You can't!
[19:27] Shinpachi
    Didn't they say that any team that has a member who gives up would be disqualified?!
[19:31] Shinpachi
    Refusing to run is the same as giving up!
[19:35] Gintoki
    It'll be fine.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of "24 Hour TV Love Saves the Earth". A popular section of this show has charity marathons run by celebrities.]
[19:36] Gintoki
    I heard that ***** ********* was riding in a car when the cameras weren't on her on the 24-hour TV show.
[19:42] Gintoki
    And you've even got people who air pre-recorded stuff.
[19:45] Shinpachi
    This isn't pre-recorded!
[19:47] Shinpachi
    We'll lose the prize money and official membership cards!
[19:51] Takachin
    Hey, cut it out already.
[19:54] Takachin
    We're betting our fan club's existence here.
[19:57] Takachin
    I'll beat the crap out of you if you don't shape up!
[20:00] Gintoki
    Let me go, stupid brat.
[20:01] Gintoki
    You want me to smash your best facial feature, those protruding teeth?
[20:04] Takachin
    Like hell they're my best feature!
[20:06] Takachin
    I obviously harbor a complex about that!
[20:08] Gintoki
    Bite your tongue.
[20:09] Gintoki
    People use their complexes as a way to mature.
[20:12] Gintoki
    You try to become better when you feel inferior.
[20:16] Gintoki
    So you could consider it a good feature in a way.
[20:18] Gintoki
    I'm gonna snap that great feature of yours.
[20:20] Takachin
    Do it!
[20:21] Takachin
    Snap them and make me handsome!
[20:23] Shinpachi
    Stop it, Takachin!
[20:25] Shinpachi
    Snapping them won't make you handsome!
[20:27] Shinpachi
    That's not the issue here!
[20:29] Takachin
    Damn it...
[20:31] Takachin
    What's the issue-
[20:35] Shinpachi
    Takachin!
[20:37] Shinpachi
    Takachin, get a grip! Takachin!
[20:39] Takachin
    They snapped...
[20:41] Takachin
    How do they look...?
[20:44] Shinpachi
    That's not the issue here!
[20:45] Takachin
    What's the issue...?
[20:54] Okita
    Ah, he looks okay so carry on.
[20:58] Driver
    I see.
[20:59] Driver
    Uh, you're headed to the TV station, right?
[21:01] Okita
    Yes, OEDO TV.
[21:05] Shinpachi
    Takachin!
[21:08] Gintoki
    Hey, somebody we obviously know was wearing a rather familiar lame costume
[21:14] Gintoki
    and headed to a place we just heard about in a taxi.
[21:17] Shinpachi
    Huh?!
[21:18] Shinpachi
    This isn't the time for that!
[21:22] Shinpachi
    We have to take Takachin to the ER!
[21:26] N
    If anybody on the team gives up, that team is immediately disqualified!
[21:35] Shinpachi
    Takachin...
[21:37] Shinpachi
    The E-E-E-E-E-
[21:41] Shinpachi
    His hair is bouncing back and forth. E-R, E-R.
[21:46] Gintoki
    Yeah, it sure is.
[21:52] Shinpachi
    O-Okay.
[21:54] Shinpachi
    We don't have time for this, Takachin.
[21:56] Shinpachi
    L-Let's go.
[21:57] Gintoki
    H-Hey, walk properly.
[22:00] Gintoki
    Takachin, what's wrong?
[22:01] Gintoki
    That's why I told you not to drink so much.
[22:04] Gintoki
    Okay, we'll get you another round.
[22:05] Gintoki
    At the TV station bar.
[22:07] Shinpachi
    H-His eyes are rolling back in his head.
[22:10] Shinpachi
    Rolling back in his head!
[22:13] Shinpachi
    He's obviously had too much to drink.
[22:16] Shinpachi
    M-Maybe we should go to the E-
[22:19] Gintoki
    His hair's going E-R, E-R.
[22:20] Shinpachi
    It sure is.
[22:23] Shinpachi
    Uh, yeah.
[22:24] Yamazaki
    Huh?
[22:27] Yamazaki
    What are you doing, master?
SIGN    [To Be Continued]
SIGN    
[24:07] Hijikata
    How long will you continue to struggle, members of the Tsu Terakado Fan Club?
[24:11] Hijikata
    When the other teams are all my pawns...
[24:14] Shinpachi
    The next episode...
[24:15] Shinpachi
    "If One Orange in the Box is Rotten, the Rest of Them Will Become Rotten Before You Know It!"
SIGN    [With all the traps laid before them, the Tsu Terakado Fan Club is in danger of dropping out.]
SIGN    [But the strongest help of all appears! And that person's name is...]
SIGN    [See you next time.]