E93 - Even A Hero Has Issues

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    [GinTama]
SIGN    
SIGN    [VALENTINE'S DAY]
SIGN    [VALENTINE'S DAY] [SPECIAL EFFECT DELUSION SERIES]
SIGN    
SIGN    [SPACE OPERATION No.1]
SIGN    
SIGN    [REMARKS]
SIGN    [When watching TV,]
SIGN    [make sure the room is well lit]
SIGN    [and keep a good distance from the screen.]
SIGN    [Enjoy the show. Coming up next...]
SIGN    ["GinTama" starts!]
SIGN    [Monster Shogun Colonel Cherry appears.]
[00:53] Spacewoman
    ...Yeah...yeah...I know that.
[00:59] Spacewoman
    Yeah, that's right. I'll do that. ...Yeah.
[01:07] Spacewoman
    Thank you. That's right.
[01:14] Spacewoman
    I'll talk to you later.
[01:22] Spacewoman
    Duwa!
SIGN    [Note: "Duwa" is a spoof of how Ultraman always says "Shuwa."]
SIGN    [February 14th is national Valentine's day!! I heard it's the day bishop Valentine was executed...]
SIGN    [...for fighting against the free marriage ban in 269 AD. It had nothing to do with chocolate, right?]
SIGN    [Valentine's Day Fair]
[03:10] Ketsuno Announcer
    This is Ketsuno reporting.
[03:12] Ketsuno Announcer
    Currently, all chocolate shops have special Valentine's Day sales.
[03:15] Ketsuno Announcer
    Ouch! As you can see, the shops are really crowded!
[03:18] ---
    What are you doing?!
[03:20] ---
    Ugly girls like you can forget about Valentine's Day!
[03:24] Ketsuno Announcer
    Idiots!
[03:26] ---
    Die, you ugly girl!
[03:29] Kagura
    Valentine's Day?
[03:31] ---
    Gin-chan, what's Valentine's Day?
[03:34] Gintoki
    Ah, today is Valentine's Day. I forgot about it.
[03:38] Gintoki
    Valentine's Day is when a woman gives chocolates to a man to express her feelings for him.
[03:42] Gintoki
    That's right, today is Valentine's Day. I completely forgot about it.
[03:46] Shinpachi
    Well, it doesn't involve us.
[03:48] Shinpachi
    Most people on TV are probably buying "obligation chocolate," right?
[03:51] Shinpachi
    It's a bad custom. They have such devious intentions.
[03:55] Gintoki
    Anyway, our country is really strange.
[03:57] Gintoki
    We have Christmas and Valentine's Day... Yet we still celebrate traditional New Year's, too.
[04:01] Gintoki
    People have no principles at all. They just want an excuse to party, I guess.
[04:04] Shinpachi
    I agree. In Japan, we only need to celebrate New Year's and Obon.
SIGN    [Note: Obon is a Buddhist festival to honor ancestral spirits.]
[04:11] Kagura
    Why do you two look so different today?
[04:13] Gintoki/Shinpachi
    Huh?
[04:14] Gintoki
    What do you mean? We're no different than usual.
[04:16] Gintoki
    Huh? Do we look like we were expecting something? Like chocolates?
[04:20] Gintoki
    Hey, don't get us wrong. You sound like you think we're shameless guys.
[04:24] Shinpachi
    We can eat chocolates any time.
[04:26] ---
    We can always buy them ourselves.
[04:29] Gintoki
    Huh? But Shipachi, did you change your look a bit?
[04:32] Shinpachi
    Huh? Not at all. Ah, I woke up this morning with "bed head," so that's probably it.
[04:37] Shinpachi
    Gin-san, you look really chic today, too.
[04:40] Gintoki
    You're too conscious of Valentine's Day.
[04:42] Gintoki
    I'm no different today than usual.
[04:44] Gintoki
    I'm the same as always, the same Gin-san you know and love.
[04:49] Gintoki/Shinpachi
    Yes!
[04:50] Shinpachi
    Wait! Gin-san, I'll get the door. Let me do it!
[04:53] Gintoki
    No, let me do it this time. What? Are you expecting someone to bring chocolates?
[04:56] Kagura
    Ah. You, too.
[04:59] Man Gas Fee Agent
    Excuse me. I came to collect gas fees.
[05:01] Gintoki/Shinpachi
    You're not invited!
[05:06] Kagura
    God, please give some chocolate to those pathetic men.
[05:18] Shinpachi
    Wh-What?!
[05:20] Gintoki
    Hey! What the heck is this?!
[05:23] Kagura
    From the sky...
[05:25] Kagura
    ...a huge piece of chocolate...
[05:28] Gintoki
    Welcome!
[05:29] Shinpachi
    Megaton Valentine's Day!
[05:31] Gintoki
    Ah, this must be for me. It's probably from Setsuko-chan from the teahouse.
[05:35] Shinpachi
    No! Perhaps it's for me!
[05:36] Shinpachi
    It may be from Sayaka-chan, who went to the temple school with me.
[05:38] Spacewoman
    Ah...hey... Please don't touch my belongings without permission.
[05:43] Spacewoman
    That's mine.
[05:45] Spacewoman
    Give it back to me.
SIGN    ["Even A Hero Has Issues"]
[05:56] Policeman
    All right.
[05:57] Policeman
    Breathe into this!
[06:02] Policeman
    Ah, it's higher than the acceptable limit. You've been drinking, haven't you?
[06:06] Spacewoman
    Mr. Policeman, could you please not suspend my flying license?
[06:10] Spacewoman
    If I can't fly in the sky, I won't be able to work.
[06:12] Spacewoman
    What will I do when the monsters appear?
[06:15] Policeman
    Well, but I'm just doing my job, too.
[06:17] Policeman
    Fortunately, these people say that, as long as you pay for repairs, they won't press charges.
[06:23] ---
    Please be more careful in the future.
[06:25] Policeman
    Don't fly after drinking, and don't drink if you fly. It's common sense.
[06:28] Spacewoman
    Yes...
[06:29] Policeman
    Well, come down to the station later.
[06:38] Spacewoman
    I'm sorry! I caused you a lot of trouble.
[06:42] Shinpachi
    No, no, no, no, no! It's all right.
[06:44] Shinpachi
    Luckily, no one was injured. You needn't bow to us.
[06:47] Shinpachi
    Well... Um... Huh? Well, you're a kind of hero from outer space, aren't you?
SIGN    [Note: Shinpachi is posing like Ultraman.]
[06:53] Spacewoman
    Well, not a hero, but a heroine. I'm a girl.
[06:58] Shinpachi
    Ah... I see.
[07:00] Spacewoman
    I'm doing it as the so-called Spacewoman.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Ultraman.]
[07:03] Shinpachi
    Ah, then your job is to kind of protect the Earth, right?
[07:08] Spacewoman
    No, I came to Earth on a business trip.
[07:10] Shinpachi
    Business trip? Your job has business trips?!
[07:12] Spacewoman
    Sorry, but I am not assigned to a small-scale area, like Earth.
[07:17] Spacewoman
    You see I am in charge of a much larger area.
[07:18] Spacewoman
    I work day and night to keep peace in the universe.
[07:21] Shinpachi
    It sounds amazing. Your work area is huge.
SIGN    [Weekly schedule]
[07:24] Spacewoman
    Monday and Tuesday, I help out around the house.
SIGN    [Weekly schedule] [Mon & Tue: Housekeeping]
[07:26] Spacewoman
    And Wednesday through Friday, I patrol around the house.
SIGN    [Weekly schedule] [Mon & Tue: Housekeeping] [Wed Thus Fri: Patrol around the house]
SIGN    [Weekly schedule] [Mon & Tue: Housekeeping] [Wed Thus Fri: Patrol around the house] [Sat & Sun: Off]
[07:29] Spacewoman
    I have a five-day workweek.
[07:30] Shinpachi
    Hey! You're just protecting your own home then!
[07:33] Spacewoman
    By the way, um... that thing...
[07:37] Shinpachi
    Ah, you mean the chocolate?
[07:40] Kagura
    Sorry to say this, but a piece broke off after it hit the ground.
[07:43] Shinpachi
    No, there are teeth marks on it.
[07:45] Kagura
    I was trying to do my best, but...
[07:47] Shinpachi
    Do your best for what?
[07:49] Spacewoman
    I see. I made the mistake of drinking to help me get over my nervousness.
[07:53] Shinpachi
    Nervousness... Were you planning on giving this chocolate to somebody?
[08:00] Gintoki
    Hey, it looks like you're worried about something. Can we help?
[08:03] Gintoki
    You know, I'm Gin of the Odd Jobs. You're a hero who protects the universe.
[08:08] Gintoki
    I have similar duties. I'm like a hero who protects Edo. Sort of!
[08:13] Spacewoman
    That's sort of a lie! And you're trying to look cool by eating the chocolate.
[08:16] Spacewoman
    The chocolate is the problem!
[08:17] Gintoki
    Shut up! She's the heroine who ensures peace in the universe.
[08:21] Gintoki
    She must have a lot of money. This woman could be a real sucker.
[08:25] Shinpachi
    How can you say something like that about a helpless heroine?
[08:26] Shinpachi
    You're the root of all evil.
[08:28] Shinpachi
    Ah!
[08:29] Spacewoman
    Something that looks like a timer is blinking!
[08:31] ---
    Don't tell me! You have to leave Earth!
SIGN    [Note: Ultraman has a timer on his chest that gives him three minutes before he has to leave Earth.]
[08:34] Spacewoman
    No, it's nothing like that.
[08:36] Spacewoman
    But every three minutes, I have to call home. Otherwise...
[08:40] Spacewoman
    ...I feel like I've been sucked into the wild urban jungle of the big city.
[08:42] Spacewoman
    I'd feel like I'm losing my roots.
[08:44] Shinpachi
    How badly do you want to go home?!
[08:45] Spacewoman
    Ah, Mom? Yeah, I'm fine. Ah, thanks for the rice. I'm eating well.
[08:53] Shinpachi
    Every three minutes? What kind of life does her mom have?
[08:56] Shinpachi
    She's always standing by?
[08:58] Spacewoman
    Yes, that's right.
[09:00] Spacewoman
    No... I don't have someone like that. I'm too busy working, so... Yeah... Well... Wait...
[09:08] Spacewoman
    Enough already! I'm ensuring peace in the universe!
[09:13] Spacewoman
    You want a grandchild, but I don't live that kind of vulgar life!
[09:16] Shinpachi
    It looks like she hung up in a huff.
[09:19] Gintoki
    Why do we have to hear about this superwoman's family quarrels?
[09:25] Gintoki
    Huh?
[09:28] Gintoki
    What's that?
[09:44] Woman
    I-It's a monster!
[10:02] Shinpachi
    Woman-san! That monster is...!
[10:04] Kagura
    Supe-chan! Did you come to Earth to defeat him?
[10:09] Gintoki
    Huh?
[10:10] ---
    What's wrong?
[10:13] Spacewoman
    I'm going to be 37 years old this year.
[10:18] Spacewoman
    I passed the marriageable age a long time ago and am a so-called loser.
[10:28] Spacewoman
    I was so focused on ensuring peace in the universe, that before I knew it,
[10:31] Spacewoman
    I had become an old woman.
[10:34] Spacewoman
    No matter how good a woman is,
[10:36] Spacewoman
    if she doesn't give a man a chance, no one will pursue her.
[10:39] Spacewoman
    That's my problem.
[10:42] Spacewoman
    As I was protecting the peace of the universe, I never gave anyone a chance.
[10:46] Spacewoman
    Because I was too busy protecting the peace in the universe!
[10:49] Spacewoman
    If I give anyone a chance and get distracted, the monsters will win.
[10:53] Spacewoman
    I've hardly ever been in love.
[10:57] Spacewoman
    I've been deceived by bad guys...
[10:59] Spacewoman
    I was even in a dangerous love affair with my boss, who had a wife and children.
[11:03] ---
    I believed him when he said he would get a divorce someday, and I cried so many times.
[11:09] Spacewoman
    One day, I had endured too much. I followed him in an attempt to destroy his family.
[11:16] Spacewoman
    Duwa!
[11:17] Spacewoman
    But then I saw him!
[11:19] Spacewoman
    When he was with his family,
[11:22] Spacewoman
    he had a warm smile that I'd never seen before. Then I thought...
[11:27] Spacewoman
    My Vanadium Ray can't be used to destroy other people's happiness.
SIGN    [Note: Vanadium Ray is a parody of Specium Ray from Ultraman.]
[11:32] Gintoki
    What kind of heroine are you? You're just a plain office lady!
[11:35] Spacewoman
    I was really lonely. I just wanted someone to talk to.
[11:39] Spacewoman
    That's why I was with that kind of guy.
[11:40] Spacewoman
    Since then, I've hit bottom.
[11:43] Spacewoman
    I hung around nightspots night after night, and I spent time with all kinds of monsters.
[11:47] Gintoki
    Why monsters?!
[11:49] Spacewoman
    I learned a lot of skills, like using the Vanadium Ray.
[11:52] Gintoki
    What kind of skills?!
[11:55] Spacewoman
    And... When I was tired, drained, full of despair
[12:00] Spacewoman
    and had really fallen, he appeared.
[12:03] Master
    Sir, I'm closing the bar.
[12:06] Master
    Please wake up, sir. Your family will be worried.
[12:11] Spacewoman
    He was just like me. No, he was the total opposite.
[12:17] Cherry
    That's all right. There's no one at home, anyway.
[12:21] Spacewoman
    Right... In order to conquer the universe,
[12:24] Spacewoman
    he devoted himself to conquering space and passed the marriageable age.
[12:29] Spacewoman
    I felt he would understand me.
[12:33] Spacewoman
    I felt he would accept me.
[12:38] Spacewoman
    Right... He...
[12:42] Spacewoman
    Monster Shogun Colonel Cherry!
[12:51] Gintoki/Shinpachi/Kagura
    Huh?
[13:05] Shinpachi
    That guy?
[13:07] Shinpachi
    What?!
[13:07] Shinpachi
    Are you going to give Valentine's Day chocolates to Monster Shogun, the enemy?!
[13:11] ---
    No, no, no, no! That's ridiculous! Ridiculous!
[13:13] ---
    Even if you've passed the marriageable age, you're being ridiculous!
[13:15] Spacewoman
    In order to lure their general out, I've defeated numerous monsters.
[13:21] Shinpachi
    I thought you were fighting for the sake of protecting peace in the universe!
[13:24] Spacewoman
    Finally the time has come. Now is my only chance to declare my love.
[13:29] Shinpachi
    Hey! This woman is only thinking about marriageable age issues!
[13:31] Gintoki
    Calm down, Shinpachi. The opponent is the enemy's general.
[13:34] Gintoki
    If her love declaration succeeds, then they'll reconcile and the universe will be at peace.
[13:39] Shinpachi
    That kind of universal peace is just disgusting!
[13:42] Cherry A
    You, Spacewoman, have finally come!
[13:45] Cherry B
    Causing couples who are excited about Valentine's Day to break up...
[13:48] Cherry A
    Causing the birthrate decline...
[13:49] Cherry B
    Causing the population decline...
[13:51] Cherry A
    And on and on... And my plans for taking over the universe...
[13:54] Cherry B
    You dare disturb me?
[13:56] Shinpachi
    Huh? Even without things like that, the universe can still be peaceful, right?
[13:59] Spacewoman
    Colonel Cherry. You're wrong. Today... Um... Well...
[14:06] Shinpachi
    What's the matter?! He's the enemy!
[14:08] ---
    Why are you suddenly turning your back on him?!
[14:10] Spacewoman
    To tell you the truth... I've never made any love declarations before.
[14:14] Kagura
    Don't worry. Supe-chan, you're the heroine of the universe.
[14:17] Kagura
    You must've overcome all your hardships.
[14:20] Spacewoman
    Yes, I always rushed to people when they requested help.
[14:26] Spacewoman
    I always gave my body and heart to men whenever they wanted.
[14:29] Spacewoman
    I was a convenient woman.
[14:32] Spacewoman
    That's me.
[14:33] Gintoki
    Hey! You're talking about a totally different subject!
[14:37] Spacewoman
    A person like me... Now...
[14:40] Spacewoman
    It's too late...
[14:43] Spacewoman
    For me to bring out courage like that of a high school girl...
[14:48] Spacewoman
    ...no way.
[14:52] Cherry Ab
    I don't know what you're doing, but it's foolish to turn your back on your enemy.
[14:55] Shinpachi
    Whoa! This is bad! Woman-san!
[14:57] Cherry
    Take this!
[14:59] Boss
    Wait!
[15:03] Boss
    Duwa!
[15:07] Boss
    Deden...
[15:10] Cherry
    Hmm... A rookie?
[15:12] Shinpachi
    He's on our side, right?! He must be here to save us!
[15:17] Gintoki/Shinpachi/Kagura
    Ouch!
[15:21] Boss
    Spacewoman...
[15:23] Spacewoman
    Hiroshi-san...
[15:25] Shinpachi
    Eh...
[15:26] Boss
    I've separated with my wife!
    Come back to me!
[15:30] Boss
    I love only you!
[15:32] Shinpachi
    What?!
[15:34] Shinpachi
    You're the boss she was talking about?!
[15:35] Shinpachi
    We thought you came here to defeat the monster!
[15:40] Spacewoman
    It's too late now! I can't believe what you just said!
[15:44] Boss
    Please! Let's start over again! And let's open a ranch in Argentina!
SIGN    [Note: Spoof of the musical movie "Down Argentine Way."]
[15:49] Spacewoman
    Stop it!
[15:52] Boss
    Duwa...
[15:55] Spacewoman
    Duwa...
[15:58] Boss
    ...You really hate me...
[16:01] Boss
    But, I can't back out now...
[16:04] ---
    I'll make you come with me, even by force... Duwa!
[16:10] Shinpachi
    What kind of atmosphere is this? It looks like another opponent has arrived.
[16:13] Gintoki
    I don't get it. What kind of lovers' spat is this?
[16:17] Spacewoman (M)
    I don't hate him... Rather... My heart is trembling...
[16:22] Spacewoman (M)
    Why is it so weak...my heart?!
[16:25] Kagura
    Supe-chan, don't believe him!
[16:27] Kagura
    He can't commit to his own family!
    That means he can't commit to you, either!
[16:36] Spacewoman
    Hello, Mom!
[16:38] Spacewoman
    Sorry about earlier... Yes... I'm busy now, but I wanted to call you...
[16:44] Spacemom
    Listen, Mom has something to tell you. Your daddy's health...
[16:50] Spacemom
    ...He won't last two years.
[16:55] Spacemom
    So...at the very least. I hope he can see his grandchild.
[17:01] Spacewoman
    Mom...
[17:03] Spacedad
    Akiko...
[17:04] Spacewoman
    Dad!
[17:06] Spacedad
    Even if your mom says something like that...don't worry about it.
[17:11] Spacedad
    But...my last wish is to see...my daughter's...
[17:14] Spacedad
    ...happiness as a woman...
[17:19] Spacewoman
    Dad...
[17:20] Spacedad
    I hope you'll be able to be happy...Akiko.
[17:27] Spacewoman (M)
    Thinking about my dad,
[17:29] Spacewoman (M)
    I'd better go with Hiroshi-san, who has some economic clout...
[17:32] Spacewoman (M)
    But...my heart now...
[17:37] Spacewoman (M)
    I don't know what I should do...
[17:40] Spacewoman (M)
    I've been fighting to protect peace in the universe.
[17:43] Spacewoman (M)
    That was for the sake of people's happiness... But...
[17:44] Spacewoman
    Duwa!
[17:47] Spacewoman (M)
    ...I don't know how to fight for my own happiness.
[17:52] Gintoki
    What are you saying?!
[17:53] Gintoki
    Regardless of whether they're a hero or heroine,
[17:56] Gintoki
    they don't know how to find happiness.
[17:59] Gintoki
    Even with Goku getting married and having kids...
SIGN    [Note: Goku is the main character of Dragon Ball.]
[18:01] Gintoki
    Perhaps even the author, as well as Goku himself, didn't expect that.
[18:04] Gintoki
    You've been fighting for other people for a long time, right?
[18:07] Gintoki
    Then it's okay if you are just a bit selfish.
    There's nothing wrong with that, I guess.
[18:17] Spacewoman
    Hiroshi-san.
[18:18] Spacewoman
    I'm really happy to hear your declaration of love.
[18:21] Boss
    Spacewoman...
[18:23] Spacewoman
    However...!
[18:23] Boss
    Duwa?!
[18:24] Spacewoman
    You're in the past! You're an enemy to my future happiness!
[18:28] Boss
    What are you talking about, Spacewo-?
[18:30] Spacewoman
    Derya!
[18:32] Spacewoman
    Good-bye, Hiroshi-san! Good-bye to the old me!
[18:42] Spacewoman
    Now, I can start being the new me.
[18:45] Shinpachi
    That was way too harsh on your Boss!
[18:47] Gintoki
    That's you being just "a bit selfish"?! That was way overboard!
[18:50] Spacewoman
    Duwa!
[18:51] Shinpachi/Gintoki
    I'm sorry for saying such a bold thing!
[18:55] Cherry A
    Fight among yourselves, Spacewoman!
[18:58] Cherry B
    I wouldn't know what to do if you two conspired against me!
[19:02] Cherry A
    But I'm saved!
[19:03] Cherry B
    I'm really saved!
[19:05] Kagura
    Why are you saying that with such confidence?!
[19:07] Spacewoman
    Co-Colonel Cherry... A-Actually...
[19:14] Cherry A
    What? You look like you've frozen up!
[19:17] Cherry B
    Am I too frightening an opponent for you?
[19:24] Cherry Ab
    Huh? What's this?!
[19:26] Cherry A
    Hey, what's going on?! Come on!
[19:28] Cherry B
    Why won't you talk to me?!
[19:32] Cherry
    If you don't fight me...
[19:33] ---
    ...I'll start attacking!
[19:35] Cherry
    Take this!
[19:41] Spacewoman
    Please...be gentle.
[19:44] Cherry B
    H-Hey, w-wait! W-What is this?!
[19:46] Cherry A
    What's wrong with you?!
[19:48] Cherry Ab
    You've been acting so disgusting!
[19:50] Girl
    What are you doing?! You're on our side, right?!
[19:53] Woman B
    A guy like that...hurry up and beat him!
[19:55] Girl
    Huh? That girl has been blushing for a while.
[19:59] Girl
    What?! Could it be that she likes him?
[20:06] Cherry
    Hey, shut up, girls!
[20:08] Cherry B
    There's no way!
[20:10] Cherry A
    Stop joking! Shut up!
[20:13] Cherry
    Tsk.
[20:15] Pako(Gintoki)
    Hey, Cherry! Cherry!
[20:18] Pako (Gintoki)
    Come with us to the back of the school.
[20:21] Gurako (Kagura)
    Spacewoman-san has something to say to you.
[20:24] Cherry
    Wh-What?! I'm not going.
[20:26] Cherry
    I have to go to club activities and my friends are waiting for me.
[20:29] Gurako(Kagura)
    Hey, Cherry, how many chocolates did you get today?
[20:32] Cherry
    It's none of your business! What?! I didn't get anything like that!
[20:36] Pako (Gintoki)
    Well!
[20:36] Cherry
    Ah! Hey!
[20:37] Pako (Gintoki)
    That's great! Maybe you'll get one today!
[20:40] Cherry
    Wait...
[20:41] ---
    Stop it!
[20:43] Pachie (Shinpachi)
    Cherry-kun.
[20:44] Cherry
    Oh, it's you, Pachie.
[20:46] Pachie (Shinpachi)
    Hey, Cherry-kun, this year your Valentine's Day will be...
[20:51] Pachie (Shinpachi)
    ...the best Valentine's Day ever!
[20:53] Cherry
    Shut up, ugly girl.
[20:56] Cherry
    Gee.
[20:59] Cherry
    Damn it. Where did they go?
[21:05] Cherry
    S-Spacewoman...
[21:15] Spacewoman/Cherry
    Well... Ah...
[21:17] Cherry
    ...What? You go first.
[21:20] Xxx
    No... Cherry-kun, you go first...
[21:28] Girls
    Come on! Go for it!
[21:31] Girl
    Spacewoman-san, tell him!
[21:34] Girl B
    Please use my chocolate!
[21:36] Girl C
    Mine, too!
[21:37] Girl D
    And mine!
[21:38] Girl E
    Mine, too!
[21:39] Girl F
    Me, too!
[21:39] Girl G
    This, too!
[21:40] Girl H
    Me, too!
[21:42] Girls
    Good luck, Spacewoman!
[21:46] Cherry Ab
    Wh-What are you girls doing?!
[21:48] Spacewoman
    Cherry-kun...
[21:54] Spacewoman
    Will you accept my heart?
[22:01] Cherry
    ...Spacewoman...
[22:04] Spacewoman
    Cherry-kun...
[22:14] Cherry B
    It's like...
[22:15] Cherry A
    ...embarrassing.
[22:16] Cherry Ab
    You doing something like this to me...
[22:18] Spacewoman
    Deyaa!
[22:35] Spacewoman
    Ah, Mom? Yes. Today, I...protected the peace...of the universe.
SIGN    
[24:16] Hasegawa
    Kill me! Kill me!
[24:18] Hasegawa
    Even if I live, I'm just destined to dance a bloody rondo all my life.
SIGN    
[24:23] Hasegawa
    Please finish me now!
[24:25] Gintoki
    The next episode... "When Riding A Train, Make Sure You Grab The Straps With Both Hands."
SIGN    [He was arrested on charges of being a pervert. Madao, Taizo Hasegawa (38 years old).]
SIGN    [He tries to clear himself of a false accusation, but Prosecutor Haga challenges him!]