E160 - From a foreigner's perspective, you're the foreigner. From an alien's perspective, you're the alien

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Song
    Feeling all beat by 6 PM.
SIGN    [The Tamo-san Hour Smile! Is that Good? Final Episode!]
[00:03] Song
    Everything's still all good.
[00:05] Song
    Getting all bitchy by 6 PM.
[00:08] Song
    Tomorrow will be all good.
[00:13] Song
    Yeah, after four weeks, we're starting to get tired of this.
[00:18] Song
    I feel the same way, y'know?
[00:21] Song
    Get your act together, damn it!
[00:23] Song
    Yosan wo agete.
[00:25] Song
    Give me money!
[00:28] Song
    Yes!
[00:28] Song
    We're the only ones using 4:3 in this day and age.
[00:33] Song
    After all these years, the costs haven't changed!
[00:36] Song
    Rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, zai, zen.
SIGN    [Note: Refers to the Nine Symbolic Cuts/Syllables often used in Buddhism meditation.]
[00:41] Song
    Sharingan hiding behind my sunglasses.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Tamori and Sharingan from Naruto.]
[00:43] Song
    Laugh away! Bitchin' sparking! Yay!
[00:46] Song
    Project X.
[00:49] Song
    Project.
[00:51] Song
    Project X.
[00:54] Song
    Project.
[00:56] Song
    Project, project.
[00:59] Song
    Project.
[01:06] Tamo
    We'll cut to a commercial for now.
SIGN    ["Shocked by the Phone"]
[01:16] Tamo
    We'll cut to a commercial for now.
[01:18] All
    What?!
[01:29] Tamo
    Good evening.
[01:31] All
    Good evening!
[01:33] Tamo
    Today's the last episode.
[01:35] All
    Sure is!
[01:37] Tamo
    We'll cut to a commercial for now.
[01:39] All
    What?!
[01:50] Tamo
    We've had a lot of commercial breaks today.
[01:53] All
    Sure have!
[01:55] Tamo
    Shall I call in a guest now?
[01:57] All
    Sure thing!
[01:59] Tamo
    Then we'll cut to a commercial first...
[02:04] Tamo
    What? We're out of commercials?
[02:06] Tamo
    I see...
[02:08] Tamo
    Then we'll cut to GinTama for now.
[03:49] Shinpachi
    I'm definitely going to take it!
[03:51] Shinpachi
    Victory! Victory for all of us!
[03:54] Gintoki
    We'll handle the rest.
[03:57] Shinpachi
    Gin-san!
[03:58] Shinpachi
    Taka-chin!
[04:01] Shinpachi
    Who is that?
[04:06] N
    Here we are!
[04:07] N
    First place in the prelims for the pianist battle to decide Tsu Terakado's official fan club is
[04:15] N
    team Tsusengumi's Toshi!
[04:18] N
    After joining forces with the other teams to beat his rivals, he has now crossed the line!
[04:24] N
    A fine job of using wits to win the marathon prelim, believed to be a test of stamina!
[04:30] Tsu
    Well done. Majumbo lottery.
[04:33] Hijikata
    Thank you very much. Huge mountain.
[04:35] Camera
    Excuse me! Could you look this way?
[04:38] N
    And especially impressive was the power displayed in commanding the other teams!
[04:43] N
    The Tsusengumi is a fearsome force!
[04:44] N
    Is there a team capable of defeating them?!
[04:50] Hijikata
    They still haven't realized that these people were my pawns to begin with?
[04:54] N
    There are no other teams in sight!
[04:58] N
    The Tsusengumi has an overwhelming lead!
[05:00] N
    But isn't it kind of odd that there isn't anybody else coming?
[05:04] N
    Was there an accident back there somewhere?
[05:07] Hijikata
    You're having trouble holding them back?
[05:10] Hijikata
    It doesn't matter.
[05:11] Hijikata
    It isn't possible for them to break through that human wall.
[05:16] N
    We have a report!
[05:18] N
    They're giving up!
[05:19] N
    We have information that a large number of teams are giving up before reaching the goal!
[05:24] N
    A bridge has been knocked out at the seven kilometer mark!
[05:26] N
    A train has derailed at a crossing at the eight kilometer mark!
[05:29] N
    A large quantity of dog shit has appeared at the nine kilometer mark!
[05:32] N
    What is going on here?!
[05:35] N
    It's as if the heavens have decided to rain natural disaster after disaster to impede the otakus!
[05:42] N
    Only one team is past the nine kilometer mark!
[05:46] N
    Could that team have caused this?!
[05:50] N
    Is that humanly possible?!
[05:52] Hijikata
    D-Don't tell me they...
[05:54] Hijikata
    No... That's not...
[05:57] N
    Ah! Please take a look!
[05:58] N
    We have a team running through the empty streets!
[06:02] N
    It's...!
[06:04] N
    That coat is...!
[06:05] N
    The Tsu Terakado Fan Club's...!
[06:09] Hijikata
    Who the hell is that?!
[06:10] Gintoki
    Okay!
[06:11] Taka
    Yes!
[06:12] Gintoki
    Okay, we've made it to the finals. Yay.
[06:16] N
    The Tsu Terakado Fan Club has made an amazing comeback!
[06:19] N
    They've finished in second!
[06:20] Hijikata
    Hold it right there!
[06:22] Hijikata
    Who the hell is that?!
[06:23] Hijikata
    Where did you get him?!
[06:24] Hijikata
    Why is a total stranger crossing the finish line in slow motion?!
[06:28] Hijikata
    This guy wasn't on your team!
[06:30] Gintoki
    Yeah, enough of that already.
[06:32] Gintoki
    We already saw that reaction enough times last week.
[06:36] Hijikata
    What's with the attitude?!
[06:37] Hijikata
    How can you be so shameless when you used an illegal sub?!
[06:41] Gintoki
    Illegal sub?
[06:42] Gintoki
    Hey, don't make baseless claims when you have no evidence.
[06:45] Hijikata
    Evidence? That guy right there is the evidence!
[06:47] Hijikata
    Caught red-handed, damn it!
[06:49] Gintoki
    Hijikata-kun, a marathon is like life.
[06:53] Gintoki
    After making it through trials and tribulations,
[06:56] Gintoki
    you've matured so much that by the time
[06:57] Gintoki
    you cross the finish line you're practically a different person...
[07:00] Hijikata
    He's a different person!
[07:02] Hijikata
    He's obviously a different person!
[07:04] Gintoki
    You just don't get it.
[07:07] Gintoki
    Ah, he's come at a perfect time.
[07:10] Gintoki
    There, have a look at your teammate.
[07:15] Gintoki
    Yamazaki-kun has also matured and completely changed.
[07:18] Hijikata
    His hairdo's changed!
[07:20] Hijikata
    Why would his hairdo change during a marathon?!
[07:23] Hijikata
    Why would a hairdo mature during a marathon?!
[07:25] Hijikata
    And wait, this would be the opposite of maturing!
[07:28] N
    Oh! And after the arrival of the Tsu Terakado Fan Club,
[07:30] N
    we have a member of the Tsusengumi who's practically a different person!
[07:36] Yamazaki
    How am I supposed to carry out my job as inspector with this wild hairdo?
[07:42] Hijikata
    Yamazaki, don't tell me those guys...
[07:45] Yamazaki
    I'm sorry. I goofed up.
[07:48] Yamazaki
    But Hijikata-san, please just let it go.
[07:51] Yamazaki
    Just overlook it.
[07:55] Yamazaki
    They're holding a much bigger offense over our heads.
[08:02] Okita
    Ah, this is the place.
[08:04] Okita
    Don't worry. Don't worry.
[08:06] Okita
    I won't get caught.
[08:07] Okita
    Yeah, just send an invoice.
[08:11] Okita
    To Toshiro Hijikata.
[08:14] Gintoki
    Oh?
[08:15] Gintoki
    He looks awfully familiar.
[08:18] Gintoki
    Isn't that--
[08:20] Hijikata
    N-Now that I think about it, I recall seeing him...
[08:23] Hijikata
    That's right! There was a foreigner on your team!
[08:27] Hijikata
    Uh, what was his name again?
[08:29] Gintoki
    Taka-tin.
[08:30] Hijikata
    Yeah! Taka-tin!
[08:31] Hijikata
    Yeah, there was a Taka-tin!
[08:33] Hijikata
    Sorry about making false accusations.
[08:35] Hijikata
    Yamazaki's also grown so fine.
[08:38] Hijikata
    Okay, with that all settled, let's move on to the finals.
[08:41] Hijikata
    No looking around. Let's just move on!
[08:43] Gintoki
    As long as you understand...
[08:46] Gintoki
    You should have behaved to begin with.
[08:52] Officer
    Is this okay?
[08:54] Officer
    I can take you inside.
[08:56] Kondo
    This is fine.
[08:58] Officer
    Then be careful.
[09:00] Officer
    Don't get lost again.
SIGN    
[09:19] N
    And the pianist battle to decide Tsu Terakado's official fan club...
[09:23] N
    It's only just begun and we've already got a wild one on our hands!
[09:26] N
    With all the injuries, desertions,
[09:28] N
    and dropouts, out of the thousand teams in the marathon prelims,
[09:31] N
    only two teams, the Tsu Terakado Fan Club and the Tsusengumi,
[09:35] N
    made it to the finish line!
[09:39] N
    On top of that, both teams had participants who got lost before being taken in
[09:42] N
    by the police and delivered here, a stretch of the rules...
[09:46] Kagura
    How is that a stretch?!
[09:48] Kagura
    Did you ever say that we couldn't get in a car?!
[09:52] N
    No, I didn't say anything about that,
[09:54] N
    but normally, I wouldn't need to tell people this, right?
[09:57] Kondo
    How could we possibly know?!
[09:59] Kondo
    Do you have any idea how stupid we are?!
[10:01] Kondo
    Don't underestimate us!
[10:03] Kagura
    That's right! Don't play us for fools!
[10:06] N
    Uh, Otsu-chan, what do you think?
[10:09] N
    Using a car in a marathon is most definitely...
[10:14] Tsu
    The purpose of this contest is to show their love for me, right?
[10:19] Tsu
    To go as far as to use a car in a marathon to come see me...
[10:24] Tsu
    I believe that it can only be love!
[10:29] N
    Uh, we've just been treated to an amazing revelation.
[10:33] N
    You were allowed to use a car in the marathon prelims.
[10:36] Guya
    Hey! Are you serious?!
[10:38] Guya
    What was all our effort for?!
[10:40] Guyb
    You should have told us in the beginning!
[10:42] Guyb
    How are you going to make up for this?!
[10:43] N
    Well, I can understand the complaints,
[10:46] N
    but this is the pianist battle to decide Tsu Terakado's official fan club!
[10:50] N
    Otsu-chan's opinion is absolute.
[10:53] N
    So these two teams, the Tsu Terakado Fan Club and the Tsusengumi, will advance to the finals.
[10:58] N
    These two teams will battle for the honor of becoming Otsu-chan's official fan club.
[11:07] Hijikata
    This is bad. Very bad...
[11:09] Hijikata
    I didn't expect to end up in a direct confrontation with them.
[11:12] Hijikata
    Only my pawns would have remained once I eliminated their fan club.
[11:16] Hijikata
    I figured I could just wing it and picked up random members.
[11:21] Okita
    Who are you?
[11:22] Hijikata
    What do I do? What do I do?!
[11:25] Kondo
    You look pale, Toshi.
[11:27] Kondo
    You okay?
[11:28] Kondo
    Don't worry.
[11:30] Kondo
    The people here
[11:31] Kondo
    are among the few who know that you've been possessed by that demonic sword.
[11:35] Kondo
    True comrades gathered to free you from that fiendish blade!
[11:40] Kondo
    We won't lose to that money-hungry bunch.
[11:44] Kondo
    Right, Sogo?
[11:46] Okita
    Excuse me, how big is the reward?
[11:49] Kondo
    Right, Yamazaki?
[11:50] Yamazaki
    Excuse me, how expensive is a hair transplant?
[11:56] Kondo
    They're such a shy bunch!
[11:58] Kondo
    By the way, Toshi,
[12:00] Kondo
    I've gotta go play golf with the old man at three.
[12:02] Kondo
    What time does this end?
[12:06] N
    We will now hold three contests,
[12:08] N
    and the team which wins more contests shall win the right to be the official fan club!
[12:13] N
    The prelims were a test of stamina!
[12:16] N
    Next, we will test...
[12:20] N
    your brains!
[12:21] N
    You should know everything there is to know about your beloved Otsu-chan!
[12:25] N
    We will now have a quiz on matters related to Otsu-chan!
[12:30] N
    And you will be giving your answers from this slide!
[12:36] N
    When you get a question right, the opposing team's slide will tilt at a sharper angle!
[12:41] N
    Victory will go to which ever team makes the other team's members fall off!
[12:46] N
    However, if you get a question wrong, your own slide will tilt, so be careful!
[12:53] N
    Is everybody ready then?
[12:55] N
    The first contest of the finals!
[12:58] N
    Commence the quiz showdown!
[13:05] Gintoki
    Shinpachi!
[13:07] Gintoki
    What are you doing?!
[13:09] N
    The fan club has lost a critical member at the very beginning?!
[13:13] N
    What happened?!
[13:14] N
    Did his hand slip?
[13:16] N
    Shinpachi Shimura has an expression filled with regret!
[13:19] Shinpachi
    Charge!
[13:22] Shinpachi
    Why are you moving on like nothing's wrong?!
[13:24] Shinpachi
    Why are you starting the finals without me?!
[13:26] N
    Oh? Shimura is also over here?!
[13:28] Shinpachi
    Oh, my ass!
[13:29] Shinpachi
    I just finished the marathon and made it here!
[13:32] Shinpachi
    I had to struggle to make it here after being used as a decoy by my comrades!
[13:35] Kondo
    Oh? You weren't here yet, Shinpachi-kun?
[13:38] Kagura
    I didn't even notice.
[13:40] Gintoki
    We were moving along like nothing was wrong at all.
[13:47] Shinpachi
    What?
[13:48] Shinpachi
    Wait...
[13:49] Shinpachi
    Seriously? Nobody noticed that I was missing?
[13:53] Shinpachi
    Could you drop the serious looks?
[13:56] Shinpachi
    I'll tear you all apart.
[13:58] N
    Well, in any case,
[14:00] N
    your tardiness means that you're disqualified from the quiz showdown.
[14:05] Shinpachi
    Hold it right there!
[14:06] Shinpachi
    You people were the ones who said it was okay
[14:08] Shinpachi
    for the other members to take their time,
[14:09] Shinpachi
    as long as one member on the team placed!
[14:10] Shinpachi
    You people were the ones who forgot about me!
[14:14] Gintoki
    Shinpachi, don't worry!
[14:16] Gintoki
    We don't need you to beat these guys down!
[14:19] Shinpachi
    That's not Shinpachi!
[14:21] Shinpachi
    Those aren't even Shinpachi's glasses!
[14:23] Hijikata
    Score.
[14:25] Hijikata
    If he's out of the picture, we've won.
[14:28] Shinpachi
    I apologize for reading your mind,
[14:30] Shinpachi
    but could you at least use a better image to represent me?!
[14:32] Shinpachi
    And why are they cracked?!
[14:33] Shinpachi
    What's that supposed to mean?!
[14:34] N
    Then we'll pick up where we left off with the first question!
[14:37] Shinpachi
    What?! I really don't get to participate?!
[14:38] Shinpachi
    I don't get to join in?!
[14:40] N
    What is the name of the movie Otsu-chan saw when she was four and loves to death?
[14:45] Shinpachi
    This is super easy!
[14:46] Shinpachi
    Am I not allowed to say it?!
[14:47] Shinpachi
    Am I not allowed to tell my team members?!
[14:51] N
    Hijikata from the Tsusengumi!
[14:54] Hijikata
    Roman Horrorday.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of the movie Roman Holiday.]
[14:57] Shinpachi
    He's right...
[14:58] Shinpachi
    The last movie Otsu-chan went to see with her father...
[15:01] Shinpachi
    Roman Horrorday!
[15:03] Shinpachi
    Hijikata-san...
[15:04] Shinpachi
    Even if it's to free himself from the demonic sword,
[15:06] Shinpachi
    he's done his research about Otsu-chan.
[15:09] Shinpachi
    This is bad...
[15:11] Shinpachi
    Gin-san and the others don't stand a chance without me!
[15:14] Hijikata
    Sorry, but I came prepared.
[15:17] Hijikata
    This contest is mine!
[15:20] N
    Too bad! Incorrect!
[15:22] Both
    What?!
[15:23] Otsu
    So close.
[15:25] Otsu
    The correct answer is Roman Horrorday, Gangster High School Rock and Roll!
[15:32] N
    Too bad!
[15:33] N
    Hijikata forgot to add an Otsu suffix at the end!
[15:37] Hijikata
    Hold on! Forgot to...?
[15:39] Hijikata
    That wasn't a rule...
[15:39] N
    So as a penalty, Hijikata's slide will tilt one notch higher!
[15:43] Hijikata
    No, wait, hold on!
[15:50] Hijikata
    How was that one notch...?!
[15:52] N
    Oh, Hijikata has already been eliminated!
[15:56] Shinpachi
    U-Uh, excuse me.
[15:58] Shinpachi
    Was that really just one notch?
[16:01] Shinpachi
    That's like a 90 degree angle.
[16:03] N
    Otsu-chan has control over the slides.
[16:07] N
    The angle changes according to how Otsu-chan feels.
[16:09] N
    Otsu-chan is the law here!
[16:12] Hijikata
    How capricious are you?!
[16:14] Hijikata
    Did I do something bad to you?!
[16:16] Hijikata
    Was it so wrong of me not to use an Otsu suffix?!
[16:19] N
    Both teams have already lost their captains!
[16:22] N
    This match is completely up for grabs!
[16:26] Shinpachi
    What do we do?
[16:27] Shinpachi
    Nobody in there knows a thing about Otsu-chan!
[16:31] Hijikata
    I'm sure that the other side also recruited members at random.
[16:36] Hijikata
    We're both in the same situation.
[16:38] Hijikata
    In that case, the best strategy would be to not answer.
[16:42] Shinpachi
    It'd be better to wait for the other team to screw up instead of fumbling for an answer.
SIGN    ["As Immovable as a Mountain."]
[16:47] N
    Then, here's the second question.
[16:49] Both
    Don't answer!
[16:50] Both
    Don't say anything!
[16:54] Shinpachi
    Pressing the buzzer so early when you don't know anything?!
[16:56] Shinpachi
    Who was that?!
[16:57] Shinpachi
    Who the hell did that?!
[17:00] N
    Taka-tin from the Fan Club!
[17:02] N
    Please give us your answer!
[17:03] Shinpachi
    Wh-Why did you press it?!
[17:06] Shinpachi
    You have the least chance!
[17:08] Shinpachi
    You definitely have no clue!
[17:10] Shinpachi
    And what is that?!
[17:13] Taka
    Please wait a moment.
[17:14] Shinpachi
    Why did you press the buzzer so early when you can barely speak?!
[17:17] Shinpachi
    And who the hell is that?!
[17:19] Shinpachi
    No, wait.
[17:20] Shinpachi
    It's too odd for him to press the buzzer when so many factors are against him.
[17:25] Shinpachi
    And the way he looks so confident...
[17:27] Shinpachi
    Maybe we have a chance here...
[17:30] Taka
    Sorry. Can I go take a piss? Kadomatsu mark the way to hell.
SIGN    [Note: Refers to rare proverb meaning "When you see Kadomatsu (gate pines) in new years, it means you're a year older.]
[17:37] Shinpachi
    He just wants to take a piss?!
[17:38] Shinpachi
    You hit the buzzer so you could say that?!
[17:41] Shinpachi
    And how come your Otsu suffix sounded perfectly fluent when the rest was shaky?!
[17:45] Shinpachi
    That was a phrase most Japanese people don't even know!
[17:48] Shinpachi
    We've been done in!
[17:50] Shinpachi
    Now we're one question in the hole...
[17:52] N
    Correct!
[17:54] N
    The question was, "What was the first thing Otsu-chan said
[17:56] N
    to the audience as a nervous wreck during her first concert?"
[18:00] N
    The answer is,
[18:01] Tsu
    Can I go take a piss?
[18:03] N
    Taka-tin gave the correct answer without hearing the question!
[18:06] Shinpachi
    H-He got it right!
[18:08] Shinpachi
    Why?!
[18:09] Shinpachi
    What kind of miracle was that?!
[18:11] Kagura
    Amazing!
[18:13] Kagura
    How did you know, Taka-tin?
[18:15] Gintoki
    Hey, Taka-tin! Hey!
[18:16] Taka
    N-No...
[18:18] N
    The entire Tsusengumi team will have their slides raised a notch.
[18:29] Kondo
    Uh...
[18:31] Kondo
    Otsu-chan?
[18:32] Kondo
    Is it my imagination or is my slide the only one at an extremely steep angle?
[18:37] Kondo
    What might this mean?
[18:42] N
    Then, we'll move onto the third question.
[18:44] Kondo
    Hey! You're ignoring me?!
[18:44] Kondo
    You're gonna ignore me?!
[18:46] N
    Please have a look at this clip!
[18:48] Shinpachi
    What?! They haven't even played anything!
[18:51] N
    It's Taka-tin from the Fan Club again!
[18:54] Shinpachi
    Why you?!
[18:55] Shinpachi
    Didn't you want to go take a piss?!
[18:57] Shinpachi
    And what kind of answer are you going to give without watching the clip?!
[19:00] Taka
    What was it again...?
[19:02] Shinpachi
    What?
[19:03] Shinpachi
    Could it be...
SIGN    [Note: Kiyohara-kun is a baseball player.]
[19:07] Taka
    Do the bathrooms here have washlets? Hit the ball Kiyohara-kun.
[19:12] Shinpachi
    This time it's number two?!
[19:15] Taka
    Shit!
[19:17] N
    Correct!
[19:19] N
    The question was, "What was the first item Otsu-chan bought at this store?"
[19:24] N
    The answer was a washlet!
[19:26] Shinpachi
    Don't reveal private information about an idol that nobody wants to know!
[19:29] N
    Taka-tin has managed to answer consecutive questions correctly!
[19:32] Kagura
    Taka-tin, way to go!
[19:33] Gintoki
    Hey, Taka-tin! Hey!
[19:35] N
    So, the Tsusengumi will be raised another notch!
[19:45] N
    And we'll move onto the fourth question!
[19:47] Kondo
    No, seriously, why?!
[19:51] N
    Oh, it's Taka-tin again!
[19:53] N
    This time, he hit the buzzer without hearing a single word!
[19:56] Shinpachi
    What?!
[19:57] Hijikata
    Fool.
[19:58] Hijikata
    A miracle can't happen three times in a row.
[20:00] Hijikata
    You'll be in the water for sure!
[20:03] Shinpachi
    No, I can be certain this time.
[20:06] Shinpachi
    That person isn't ordinary!
[20:07] Shinpachi
    Yes, he must be the ultimate savior brought by Gin-san to help us!
[20:13] Shinpachi
    He'll make this work somehow...
[20:15] Shinpachi
    He'll give us another miracle!
[20:19] N
    Well, Taka-tin. Give us your answer!
[20:21] Shinpachi
    Go, Taka-tin!!
[20:26] Taka
    Sorry, could I change my underwear? Katochan, Pe.
SIGN    [Note: "Katochan, Pe." is a popular phrase used by the comedian "Cha Kato"]
[20:30] Shinpachi
    He's actually done it!
[20:32] Shinpachi
    What?!
[20:33] Shinpachi
    So he just wanted to take a shit?!
[20:36] Shinpachi
    He's done it now!
[20:37] Shinpachi
    He might have made it in time if he'd said something earlier!
[20:39] Shinpachi
    And his Otsu suffix sounds a little strained!
[20:43] Shinpachi
    Yeah, he's propping his ass up...
[20:45] Shinpachi
    Just let him go already!
[20:46] Shinpachi
    Just raise it all the way and finish him off!
[20:48] Shinpachi
    He's done well!
[20:50] Shinpachi
    You can change your underwear all you want!
[20:53] N
    Correct!
[20:56] N
    The question was, "What did Otsu-chan say when a friend caught her picking her nose?"
[21:02] N
    The answer is, Katochan, Pe!
[21:04] Shinpachi
    The Otsu suffix was right?!
[21:06] Shinpachi
    And what kind of questions are these for a quiz about a popular idol?!
[21:11] N
    Taka-tin has miraculously answered three questions correctly after buzzing in early!
[21:14] N
    And he's even revealed a technique where the Otsu suffix becomes a prefix!
[21:21] Shinpachi
    No, you've got it wrong!
[21:22] Shinpachi
    He's just a foreigner who's crapped his pants and wants to change his underwear!
[21:26] Shinpachi
    Just let him go already!
[21:27] Shinpachi
    If you don't hurry up, it'll be all over his ass, so let him go!
[21:31] Kagura
    Taka-tin!
[21:32] Gintoki
    Hey, Taka-tin! Hey!
[21:34] Shinpachi
    Forget the "hey"!
[21:35] Shinpachi
    Enough with the "hey" already!
[21:36] Shinpachi
    Just let him use the water to wash down!
[21:40] Shinpachi
    But we're on the verge of winning...
[21:42] Shinpachi
    Taka-tin soiled his pants to earn the blessing of the goddess of victory!
[21:46] Shinpachi
    We'll do whatever we can to keep her on our side!
[21:52] Kondo
    Uh, Otsu-chan...
[21:56] Kondo
    Could it be that by some chance...
[21:59] Kondo
    You hate me...?
[22:12] N
    Correct!
[22:14] N
    The answer was, "I physically can't stand him."
[22:17] N
    The Tsusengumi has rebounded from the verge of defeat to win!
[22:22] N
    The first contest, the quiz showdown, goes to the Tsusengumi!
SIGN    
SIGN    
[24:05] N
    The finals consist of three contests!
[24:07] N
    The second contest is a glamour showdown!
[24:09] Shinpachi
    Glamour?!
[24:10] Shinpachi
    How do you have a glamour showdown?!
[24:12] Shinpachi
    How do you decide who wins?!
[24:14] Hijikata
    The next episode...
[24:15] Hijikata
    "Laputa's Still Good After Seeing It So Many Times."
[24:17] Hijikata
    Ready, and...
[24:18] Both
    Barusu!
SIGN    [Though getting here was difficult and exciting, the way back is surprisingly...not.]
SIGN    [Next week is about maybe going to that place.]
SIGN    [See you next time.]