E163 - The Black Ships Even Make A Scene When They Sink

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:31] Hijikata
    As you all know, Toshi was born after
    I laid my hands on the demonic sword.
[01:37] Hijikata
    A Toshiro Hijikata with his pathetic otaku
    characteristics amplified by the curse.
[01:44] Hijikata
    Yes, he isn't a different
    personality I created.
[01:47] Hijikata
    He's the real Toshiro Hijikata.
[01:51] Hijikata
    I chose to face him head-on and talk.
[01:56] Hijikata
    "I don't want to disappear without
    accomplishing anything.
[01:59] Hijikata
    I want to leave proof of my existence."
[02:02] Hijikata
    That's what he said.
[02:06] Hijikata
    This is Toshi's dream.
[02:10] ---
    My way of paying tribute to the departure
    of the one I gave birth to.
[02:17] Hijikata
    I will master the way of the otaku!
[02:21] Hijikata
    I will become the greatest otaku!
[02:23] Hijikata
    I will unite all otaku and become
    the king of otaku!
[02:26] Hijikata
    And etch proof of his existence into
    this world...into people's hearts!
[02:33] Hijikata
    Die!
SIGN    ["The Black Ships Even Make
    a Scene When They Sink"]
[03:02] N
    Spectacular!
[03:04] N
    Mr. Shimura has made peace between KIM the
    bass player and KIYOSHI the drum player!
[03:07] N
    Their session has doubled the attack points of Mr.
    Toshi's strong attack and reflected it back at him!
[03:14] Shinpachi
    Now!
[03:16] Shinpachi
    Now is my chance!
[03:17] Shinpachi
    Go!
[03:22] N
    Mr. Toshi's life points are dropping fast!
[03:26] N
    Is this the end?!
[03:27] Toshi
    I'm losing...
[03:29] Toshi
    I'll lose at this rate...
[03:32] Toshi
    That's enough...
[03:34] Toshi
    That's enough, Toshiro...
[03:36] Toshi
    Let me handle the rest.
[03:38] Toshi
    Let me finish this!
[03:42] Hijikata
    Y-You...
[03:53] Gintoki
    That's...
[03:58] N
    Wow!
[03:59] N
    What's going on?!
[04:01] N
    The energy reflected by Mr. Shimura
    is expanding before Mr. Toshi!
[04:06] N
    Expanding larger and larger!
[04:09] N
    The light is not fading!
[04:11] N
    This is...
[04:13] N
    This card is...!
[04:16] N
    Dizon.
[04:17] N
    A sudden announcement in the middle of a concert
    that she's pregnant and getting married.
SIGN    [Note: Refers to idol Leah Dizon who made such an announcement during her concert.]
[04:23] N
    The worst possible card which negates
    all audience, enemy, and ally cards.
[04:27] Dizon
    Please don't ditch me.
[04:50] N
    Th-This is...!
[04:54] N
    A draw!
[04:56] N
    Both sides collapsed in the
    ring without budging!
[05:01] Gintoki
    Shinpachi!
[05:02] Kondo
    Toshi!
[05:04] Yamazaki
    Vice-Chief!
[05:05] N
    What a grand battle!
[05:08] N
    The final contest has ended
    without an overall victor!
[05:11] N
    Their desire to win and
    love for Otsu-chan
[05:15] N
    could not be fully measured
    in such a match?!
[05:19] N
    How do we call this contest?!
[05:22] N
    Otsu-chan, what do we do?!
[05:30] Toshi
    There is no need...
[05:31] Shinpachi
    To call this contest.
[05:34] Both
    Because this contest isn't over yet!
[05:41] N
    Th-They're up!
[05:44] N
    Both have stood up with zero life points!
[05:46] N
    Yet they still continue to fight!
[05:50] Gintoki
    Shinpachi!
[05:51] Kondo
    Toshi!
[05:56] N
    Zero life points!
[05:58] N
    They're both beat up!
[06:00] N
    Neither side has any cards in their hand!
[06:05] N
    Yet they still stand!
[06:06] N
    Yet they still...!
[06:10] N
    Continue to fight!
[06:27] N
    They're engaged in a literal
    blow by blow match!
[06:40] N
    Will they only stop fighting when
    their lives have burned out?!
[06:45] Otsu
    Stop!
[06:46] Otsu
    Please!
[06:47] Otsu
    Stop already!
[06:49] Otsu
    It's too dangerous to continue!
[06:51] Otsu
    Why do you have to go so far
    for the title of official fan club?!
[06:56] Otsu
    Enough already!
[06:57] Otsu
    I'll make both teams my official fan clubs!
[07:01] Otsu
    So stop!
[07:06] Otsu
    Please!
[07:07] Otsu
    Somebody stop them!
[07:09] Otsu
    They're going to kill each
    other at this rate!
[07:13] Gintoki
    It's useless.
[07:16] Gintoki
    It's useless now.
[07:18] Gintoki
    Nobody can stop them.
[07:21] Gintoki
    They are no longer fighting to
    become the official fan club.
[07:51] Toshi
    It's funny.
[07:53] Toshi
    I'm in so much pain...
[07:56] Toshi
    It hurts so much...
[07:57] Toshi
    Yet, this is the first time
    I've ever felt so alive!
[08:02] Shinpachi
    Hijikata-san...
[08:04] Shinpachi
    No... Toshi!
[08:09] Toshi
    So you noticed, Mr. Shinpachi?
[08:13] Shinpachi
    I wouldn't be standing here if I'd taken
    a straight punch from Hijikata-san.
[08:20] Shinpachi
    Why?
[08:21] Shinpachi
    If you had let Hijikata-san handle this,
[08:24] Shinpachi
    you could have easily won.
[08:27] Shinpachi
    Why now?!
[08:32] Toshi
    I could ask the same of you, Mr. Shinpachi.
[08:36] Toshi
    After hearing Otsu-chan's voice,
    why do you still not lower your fists?
[08:45] Toshi
    Why do you still fight?!
[08:52] Toshi
    Proof of my existence...
[08:57] Toshi
    That is what I have sought with Toshiro...
[09:04] Toshi
    I mastered the way of the otaku...
[09:07] Toshi
    But I suppose that I never really cared
    about becoming lord over all otaku.
[09:28] Toshi
    I may have just wanted to completely
    lose myself in one task.
[09:39] Toshi
    I may have just wanted to fight with
    everything I had, alongside my friends.
[09:48] Toshi
    With my rivals...
[09:56] Toshi
    Mr. Shinpachi, you're the same.
[10:00] Toshi
    There is no need for any proof.
[10:03] Toshi
    There is no need to create any.
[10:05] Toshi
    We just have to live every
    second to the fullest!
[10:12] Toshi
    And the traces of the path we lived
    will be burned into the ground...
[10:24] Toshi
    That will serve as proof of our existence!
[10:57] N
    Both sides have simultaneously
    been knocked out!
[11:01] Yamazaki
    Toshi, that's crazy...
[11:04] Yamazaki
    After coming so far to be
    rid of him, why now...?
[11:12] Kondo
    It doesn't matter.
[11:14] Yamazaki
    Huh?
[11:17] Kondo
    It no longer matters.
[11:23] Kondo
    Get up!
[11:25] Kondo
    Get up, Toshi!
[11:26] Kondo
    It doesn't matter if you win or lose!
[11:28] Kondo
    Stand up and fight to the very end!
[11:30] Kondo
    Fight until you're completely burned out
[11:32] Kondo
    so your memory remains
    engraved in our minds!
[11:35] Kondo
    Get up!
[11:37] Kondo
    Toshi!
[11:41] Gintoki
    Stand up!
[11:43] Gintoki
    Patsuan!
[11:44] Kagura
    What are you burning out for?!
[11:46] Kagura
    You're going to let this end
    in such a small flame?!
[11:49] Kagura
    Stupid four-eyes!
[11:50] Gintoki
    You won't be able to rest in peace
    if your body's still warm!
[11:54] Gintoki
    Stand up!
[11:55] Gintoki
    Patsuan!
[11:56] Gintoki
    Burn everything up!
[11:58] Gintoki
    Send that bastard to the next world!
[12:12] N
    Th-This is...
[12:15] Audiencea
    Yeah! Stand up!
[12:17] Audienceb
    Don't give up!
[12:18] Audienceb
    Do your best, guys!
[12:20] N
    Both sides are struggling to their feet!
[12:22] N
    And...!
[12:23] N
    The entire arena is cheering them on!
[12:27] N
    As their battle transcends
    victory and interests,
[12:31] N
    they are now being cheered on
    by both enemies and allies!
[12:39] N
    I'll also cheer for them!
[12:41] N
    Stand up, you two!
[12:44] N
    This show's almost out of time!
[13:13] Toshi
    Mr. Shinpachi.
[13:15] Toshi
    I'm glad to have met a rival
    like you in the end.
[13:23] Toshi
    Thank you, Mr. Shinpachi.
[13:35] Toshi
    Thank you, everyone.
[13:46] Toshi
    Thank you...
[13:50] Toshi
    Toshiro...
[13:59] Yamazaki
    Such a strange feeling...
[14:01] Yamazaki
    To see someone paying their
    respects to their own picture.
[14:10] Hijikata
    Hey, Yamazaki.
[14:11] Hijikata
    I told you to change the picture.
[14:14] Hijikata
    This picture was when I was
    pretending to be Toshi.
[14:18] Hijikata
    Switch it to a picture of the real Toshi.
[14:20] Yamazaki
    Does it even matter?
[14:22] Yamazaki
    You look the same.
[14:24] Hijikata
    Don't give me that crap.
[14:26] Hijikata
    What if he comes back again?
[14:29] Hijikata
    Take good care of the flowers, too.
[14:33] Yamazaki
    Yeah, yeah.
[14:36] Hijikata
    Did you hear anything about what
    happened to them afterwards?
[14:40] Yamazaki
    The fan club?
[14:42] Yamazaki
    Thanks to a certain someone, they're
    still scraping by with a few people.
[14:47] Yamazaki
    Though former members
    are starting to return.
[14:52] Hijikata
    What do you mean?
[14:53] Hijikata
    They didn't become the official fan club?
[14:59] Hijikata
    The members should have rushed back
    in droves when they became official.
[15:05] Yamazaki
    Well...
[15:06] Yamazaki
    They said something about how there's nothing
    official or unofficial about cheering for Otsu-chan
[15:11] Yamazaki
    and gave up the title.
[15:14] Shinpachi
    Hey!
[15:15] Shinpachi
    Louder!
[15:16] Shinpachi
    Don't be wusses!
[15:18] Shinpachi
    You need more guts if you're
    gonna love Otsu-chan!
[15:21] Yamazaki
    And they even left this behind.
[15:29] Hijikata
    That bastard's trying to be all cool!
[15:31] Yamazaki
    Where are you going, Vice-Chief?
[15:34] Hijikata
    Isn't it obvious?!
[15:36] Hijikata
    I refuse to stay in their debt!
[15:39] Hijikata
    I'll personally return the former
    members to the fan club!
[15:43] Yamazaki
    Are you going to pretend to be
    Toshi and gather otaku again?
[15:57] Yamazaki
    It'll be hard to pay back this debt.
[16:05] Yamazaki
    Still, this gives us a perfect
    picture to use.
[16:14] Yamazaki
    The eternally missing member.
[16:19] Yamazaki
    You can brag all you want in the afterlife.
[16:24] Yamazaki
    Toshi.
[18:15] Otsu
    Tsu Terakado's new single!
[18:17] Otsu
    Your Granny's Wearing
    Your Basketball Shoes!
[18:20] Otsu
    Selling great in the anime!
[18:26] Shinpachi
    Gin-san, it's terrible!
[18:27] Shinpachi
    Some impostors have shown
    up using the Odd Jobs name!
[18:30] Gintoki
    What's that?!
[18:31] Gintoki
    That's so cliché!
[18:32] Kagura
    Cliché to the max! Unforgivable!
[18:34] Gintoki
    The next episode...
[18:35] Gintoki
    "That Matsutake Soup Stuff Tastes Better
    Than The Real Deal, Plus One."
SIGN    [Man cannot come back to life once dead. But, there's another subtitle.]
SIGN    [Someone suddenly comes into Shinpachi's lone Odd Jobs...]
[18:50] Gintoki
    Okay, the two King Kongers are next.
[18:57] Shinpachi
    H-Hey, Gin-san!
[18:58] Shinpachi
    The King Kong program ended in spring.
[19:02] Gintoki
    Huh?
[19:03] Gintoki
    Hey, now. Hold on.
[19:05] Gintoki
    I didn't hear anything about that.
[19:06] Gintoki
    That show ended?
[19:08] Kagura
    Yep.
[19:10] Kagura
    Starting in April, they're
    airing Pirameki at 6:30.
[19:13] Gintoki
    Hey, tell me these things sooner.
[19:16] Gintoki
    I've totally embarrassed myself.
[19:18] Gintoki
    How could I screw up so badly?
[19:19] Gintoki
    Then give me another try. From the top.
[19:23] Gintoki
    Okay, the two Hannya
    members are next.
[19:28] Shinpachi
    No, Gin-san.
[19:29] Shinpachi
    That's not the issue here.
[19:31] Shinpachi
    You've got it completely wrong.
[19:32] Gintoki
    Huh?
[19:34] Gintoki
    Hey, now.
[19:35] Gintoki
    Hold on.
[19:35] Gintoki
    Give me a break already.
[19:37] Gintoki
    What did I screw up?
[19:39] Shinpachi
    Well, it's only...
[19:41] Kagura
    6:23.
[19:43] Kagura
    It's not time for GinTama to end yet.
[19:45] Kagura
    We have too much time left over.
[19:48] Shinpachi
    That's right.
[19:49] Shinpachi
    And after we managed to end that
    long arc in a nice fashion...
[19:51] Shinpachi
    What the hell?
[19:52] ---
    Can't do anything about that. Besides, the
    fourth year of GinTama was unreasonable.
[19:57] Gintoki
    "Wait! Let's just make thirty minutes worth
    of anime from one week's worth of JUMP.
[20:02] Gintoki
    Then we won't catch up to the manga.
[20:05] Gintoki
    Tag on some extra segments.
[20:06] Gintoki
    And add a bunch of extras
    to EXILE while we're at it."
SIGN    [Note: Refers to the Japanese pop/R&B band known as EXILE.]
[20:09] Gintoki
    The staff totally didn't think this through.
[20:11] Shinpachi
    The last one was completely unrelated.
[20:13] Shinpachi
    And they aren't extras!
[20:15] Kagura
    So what are we going to do?
[20:16] Kagura
    Are we going to keep talking?
[20:18] Kagura
    Are we going to keep whining
    about the budget?
[20:21] Kagura
    Besides, that one sponsor has been...
[20:25] Shinpachi
    I told you to stop talking about
    issues like money on TV!
[20:28] Shinpachi
    That's not the point!
[20:30] Shinpachi
    We have five minutes left over
[20:32] Shinpachi
    so can't we do something extra?
[20:33] Shinpachi
    We can't spend the entire
    five minutes like this.
[20:36] Shinpachi
    We have to do something new
    to please the audience.
[20:40] Gintoki
    Are you an idiot?
[20:41] Gintoki
    By definition, an extra isn't going
    to please the audience.
[20:46] Gintoki
    Hell, after the extras put
    them at 14 members...
[20:49] Shinpachi
    Stop talking about EXILE!
[20:51] Kagura
    Gin-chan, I'm thirsty so I'm
    gonna go get a drink.
[20:55] Kagura
    Move on to some kind of new extra
    corner by the time I get back.
[20:58] Gintoki
    Gotcha.
[21:00] Shinpachi
    You have an extra to use?
[21:01] Gintoki
    Sure.
[21:01] Shinpachi
    Oh. Tell me sooner.
[21:04] Shinpachi
    Or just start with that.
[21:07] Gintoki
    Well, it's a new extra corner,
[21:10] Gintoki
    so I wanted to save it for next week
    when the new ending hits.
[21:15] Shinpachi
    Yeah, I don't think this is
    the time to be saving up.
[21:18] Gintoki
    You think?
[21:19] Gintoki
    Then I'll give it a try.
[21:20] Both
    New Extra Corner!
[21:23] Song
    Feeling all beat by 6 PM.
[21:26] Song
    Everything's still all good.
[21:28] Song
    Getting all bitchy by 6 PM.
[21:31] Song
    Tomorrow will be all good.
[21:35] N
    Okay. We're back again this week.
[21:37] N
    A special edition of "Smile! Is That Good?."
[21:38] N
    Then we'll start with the first Tamo-san commercial
    that wasn't shown during the broadcast.
[21:44] Shinpachi
    What the hell?!
[21:45] Shinpachi
    Special edition?! This is just a recap!
[21:48] Shinpachi
    A recap of an extra segment!
[21:49] Shinpachi
    Who benefits from this?!
[21:51] Shinpachi
    Besides, "Smile! Is That Good?."
[21:53] Shinpachi
    was supposed to be a special
    corner which featured friends
[21:56] Shinpachi
    who hadn't been on screen in a while
    to make the audience happy!
[22:01] Gintoki
    And before we knew it, it turned into
    a corner for Tamo-san to play dumb.
[22:04] Shinpachi
    That's right!
[22:05] Shinpachi
    That could no longer be
    considered a detour!
[22:07] Shinpachi
    He was headed in a completely
    different direction!
[22:09] Shinpachi
    Who's going to buy DVDs
    to see Tamo-san?!
[22:12] Gintoki
    Who cares?
[22:13] Gintoki
    Some viewers were watching because
    they thought it was "Go Ahead."
[22:16] Shinpachi
    Nobody would think that!
[22:17] Kagura
    I'm back.
[22:18] Kagura
    Did you use up the rest of the
    time, incombustible waste?
[22:22] Gintoki
    Well, Patsuan here didn't like
    the content of my extra.
[22:26] Shinpachi
    Who would?
[22:27] Kagura
    There's no need to do anything
    with the content of an extra.
[22:30] Kagura
    Just go with the standard.
[22:32] Kagura
    If you use the original plan and
[22:33] Kagura
    introduce popular characters who
    don't get much screen time,
[22:36] Kagura
    you'll hook the audience.
[22:37] Shinpachi
    Don't use words like hook!
[22:39] Gintoki
    So would a standard extra be like this?
[22:42] Gintoki
    Soul Reaper Encyclopedia Silver!
[22:44] Gintoki
    Okay, we'll be introducing some
    more Soul Reapers this week.
[22:49] Gintoki
    The Soul Reaper who was trying
    to take Taka-chin's soul.
[22:53] Gintoki
    His favorite food is apples.
[22:55] Gintoki
    He weighs seven apples.
[22:57] Gintoki
    And...
[22:57] Shinpachi
    There's no end to the problems
    I could name!
[22:59] Shinpachi
    It's a blatant rip-off from
    the very beginning!
[23:01] Gintoki
    Yeah, but you said to
    introduce characters...
[23:03] Shinpachi
    Who wants you to introduce
    an ordinary Soul Reaper?!
[23:06] Shinpachi
    And why is he obsessed with apples?!
[23:09] Shinpachi
    Even Ryuk could control himself better!
SIGN    [Note: Refers to Ryuk from Death Note.]
[23:11] Gintoki
    I thought that would be a standard extra.
[23:13] Shinpachi
    The content was anything but!
[23:15] Kagura
    Hey, you done griping, contact lenses?
[23:19] Shinpachi
    You mean Four-Eyes!
[23:20] Gintoki
    Fine. Fine.
[23:21] Gintoki
    I'll give up on introducing characters.
[23:23] Gintoki
    We'll use a different kind
    of standard extra.
[23:26] Shinpachi
    So what do you have in mind?
[23:28] Kagura
    This would be as standard as you get.
[23:31] Gintoki
    A corner for illustrations
    from all the viewers!
SIGN    [Illustration Corner]
[23:37] Shinpachi
    This is super standard.
[23:39] Shinpachi
    I'd feel a lot better if you just made
    everything audience participation.
[23:43] Gintoki
    Let's move to the first letter.
[23:46] Kagura
    A postcard from Hiroko Aoki, four years old,
    from Kanagawa prefecture.
[23:50] Kagura
    I tried my best to draw my
    favorite scene in GinTama.
[23:54] Kagura
    Please use it.
[23:56] Shinpachi
    That's nice.
[23:58] Shinpachi
    A four-year-old, huh?
[24:00] Shinpachi
    It puts a smile on my face.
[24:01] Shinpachi
    It must be an adorable illustration.
[24:03] Gintoki
    Here it is.
SIGN    [Hiroko Aoki-chan (4 years old)]
[24:05] Shinpachi
    Hell no!
[24:07] Shinpachi
    A four-year-old would never
    have chosen this scene!
[24:09] Shinpachi
    This was obviously planted!
[24:10] Shinpachi
    How could the fake DVD jacket from the fourth
    year announcement be a classic scene?!
[24:15] Kagura
    Shinpachi.
[24:17] Shinpachi
    What?!
[24:18] Kagura
    We're out of time.
SIGN    [We were planning to fill thirty minutes with randomness next week...]
SIGN    [How about we let the fourth season of GinTama steamroll in and air tomorrow?
SIGN    [See you next time.]