E37 - People Who Say that Santa Doesn’t Really Exist Actually Want to Believe in Him / Prayer Won't Make Your Worldly Desires Go Away! Control Yourself

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Okita
    Please turn the lights on in your room and don't get too close to the TV when watching the show.
SIGN    [Even though it's already over, please pretend it's Christmas while watching this episode.]
SIGN    [Then please pretend it's New Year's Eve while watching the next episode.]
SIGN    ["People Who Say that Santa Doesn't Really Exist Actually Want to Believe in Him"]
[01:46] Gintoki
    Why do I have to come all the way over here on such a cold night?
[01:49] Gintoki
    And it's so frustrating having to visit so many stores just to find Nikuman.
SIGN    [Note: Nikuman = steamed meat bun. And anman = bean-paste bun.]
[01:52] Gintoki
    I should've bought some Anman for myself. I don't even like Nikum...
[02:01] Gintoki
    Man, they're all messed up.
[02:04] Santa
    Man, it's all messed up.
[02:07] Santa
    How could you do this to me?! This is all your fault!
[02:09] Santa
    You wrecked my sleigh!
[02:11] Santa
    Now I can't do anything this year! And it's all thanks to you!
[02:15] Ben
    It's your own fault, you old fart!
[02:16] Ben
    We agreed that you'd get off the sleigh whenever we went downhill!
[02:20] Ben
    I wasn't pulling the sleigh; I was being chased by it!
[02:23] Ben
    It bashed up my Achilles heels! I'm all bloody!
[02:26] Santa
    Then why didn't you run faster?! Are you a reindeer or a turtle?!
[02:32] ---
    Your dad was awesome!
[02:35] ---
    He led the sleigh like a pro, even when we were on hills.
[02:37] ---
    He was a real reindeer!
[02:39] Ben
    You sound like you liked my dad,
[02:42] Ben
    but when he was at home he only said bad things about you! It's the truth, you know!
[02:44] Santa
    You liar. Carl and I were like brothers! Why, I rarely even had to use the whip on him.
[02:49] Ben
    Seriously, he hated your guts.
[02:50] Ben
    His last words were, "His beard is actually brown"!!
[02:53] Santa
    Bastard! Not so loud!
[02:55] Santa
    I'll get in trouble if anyone finds out I dye my beard white for Christmas!
[02:58] Ben
    You're the one broadcasting it!
[03:01] Gintoki
    Hey, hey! Settle down. What are you guys doing?
[03:04] Santa/ Ben
    Shut up!
[03:05] Gin Tama
    Ow! What the hell are you doing?!
[03:16] Gintoki
    Cut it out, you two. It's the middle of the night.
[03:20] Gintoki
    People are trying to sleep.
[03:22] Gintoki
    I don't know what happened, but...
[03:24] Santa
    Well, you beat us up...
[03:27] Gintoki
    Come on, let's have a drink.
[03:28] Ben
    By the way, who are you?
[03:30] Gintoki
    Sake helps facilitate communication between people. It's kind of like a social lubricant.
[03:33] Gintoki
    I think Tokugawa Ieyasu said something like that, but I could be wrong.
[03:37] Gintoki
    Hey buddy, heat up three bottles of sake and some oden.
SIGN    [Note: Oden = ingredients in soup]
[03:41] Gintoki
    Give whiskers here the check.
[03:42] Master
    Yes, sir.
[03:43] Santa
    Me, have whiskers?! What am I, a cat?!
[03:45] Master
    Here you go.
[03:46] Santa
    I ought to shave them off.
[03:48] Gintoki
    So tell me why you two were arguing. Who are you guys anyway?
[03:53] Gintoki
    Are you deliverymen or something?
[03:55] Santa
    Well... It's obvious who we are.
[03:58] Santa
    Well, it's against the rules for me to say too much,
[04:01] Santa
    but we drive a sleigh and make children's dreams come true.
[04:03] Gintoki
    Like a benevolent thief?
[04:05] Santa
    Yeah, yeah sort of... And my name starts with "Sa."
[04:08] Gintoki
    "Sa"? Satan?
[04:10] Ben
    Close! But it has a far better meaning!
[04:13] Master
    I know it's none of my business, but I think I have the answer.
[04:17] Master
    You know what I mean... The hint is hanging between his legs.
[04:20] Santa
    What?! What kind of hint is that? What kind of answer is that?
[04:24] Gintoki
    It doesn't matter if it's Sankon or Santa.
SIGN    [Sankon, a former diplomat of the Republic of Guinea appeared on many comedy TV shows in Japan. In this case, just a pun of "San"]
[04:26] Santa
    That's it! One of those was the right answer.
[04:29] Gintoki
    So, you're an old man who rides a sleigh at midnight and does something to children, right?
[04:34] Santa
    Right... but not quite the way you described it...
[04:37] Master
    I see. I know it's none of my business, but I think I have the answer.
[04:40] Master
    They ride around in a sleigh and expose their private parts to people.
[04:45] Santa
    That's not what I said! You may look like a gentleman, but you have a filthy mind!!
[04:55] Santa
    Presents! Presents!
[04:57] Santa
    I ride in a sleigh and deliver presents to good children. That's my job.
[05:01] Santa
    But my sleigh was wrecked, so...
[05:04] Gintoki
    Can't you do your job without a sleigh?
[05:07] Santa
    Absolutely not! The sleigh, the reindeer and the red outfit are my trademarks!
[05:11] Santa
    It would shatter people's perception of me if I didn't have them! I'm an icon!
[05:13] Gintoki
    Reindeer? He looks like a monster.
[05:17] Gintoki
    I don't know, but it seems like you're in a fix. Do you need help?
[05:21] Gintoki
    Here's my card.
[05:23] Gintoki
    I do anything for my clients. We're "Odd Jobs."
[05:26] Gintoki
    I'll help you out, for a price.
[05:28] Ben
    What?! What can you do?
[05:30] Santa
    Can you get us a sleigh right now?
[05:33] Gintoki
    No problem.
[05:37] Gintoki
    Hop in.
[05:40] Santa
    We can't get on that! Its previous occupant is still in it!
[05:44] Gintoki
    Huh? You can see him? He's just "Cardboard" O-san.
[05:48] Gintoki
    He's an elf that only the pure of heart can see.
[05:50] Ben
    He can see you, too! He's glaring right at you!
[05:54] Santa
    We said we needed a sleigh! This is a two-wheeled cart.
[05:58] Musashi
    It's not a two-wheeled cart. It's my home!
[05:59] Ben
    Oh, sorry.
[06:01] Gintoki
    Don't worry about the little details.
[06:03] Gintoki
    Sleigh, two-wheeled cart-same thing. They even sound almost the same.
[06:06] Musashi
    It's not a two-wheeled cart. It's my home sweet home!
[06:09] Gintoki
    Sorry...
[06:11] Gintoki
    What's your mission? To make children's dreams come true, right?
[06:14] Gintoki
    Take the back-to-basics approach.
[06:16] ---
    You guys remember how to be idealistic, right?
[06:19] Santa
    What do you know about me?!
[06:20] Gintoki
    If you're worried about the image of Santa, I think your gut is the problem.
[06:25] Gintoki
    Anyone who sees it will think, "He's as pot-bellied as my dad," and be disappointed.
[06:29] Santa
    It's supposed to be like that. I'm an inspiration to all plus-sized people.
[06:34] Gintoki
    Red is unflattering on you, too. It makes you look bigger than you actually are.
[06:38] Gintoki
    Ditch the outfit. It's ugly. You'd look better wearing something more chic.
[06:41] Santa
    No... I said this is one of my three trademarks! No!
[06:45] ---
    Hey, if I take off my outfit, I'll just be an old man.
[06:57] Santa
    This just...
[06:58] Ben
    ...isn't right.
[06:59] Gintoki
    No, you look good and chic.
[07:01] Gintoki
    Just as I thought, black makes you look slim and tranquil.
[07:04] Gintoki
    But it also makes me kind of uneasy, like I should go lock up the house real tight for some reason...
[07:09] Santa
    That's because we look like thieves!!
[07:10] Gintoki
    Nah, more like one of those trendy hipster dads.
[07:13] ---
    These days, throwing a leather jacket on an old geezer makes him look sexy,
[07:15] ---
    even if he's about to croak.
[07:17] Santa
    There's nothing hip about this! I look like a grave robber!!
[07:22] Santa
    And you're wearing my outfit! Hey, give it back, right now! Please!
[07:26] Musashi
    I want to look cool in red this winter!
[07:28] Santa
    You already look cool! You'd look even cooler without my outfit on.
[07:34] Gintoki
    Let's start here. This is a poor residential area, so we should help these people.
[07:38] Santa
    Oh, no! If we get caught, it's all over. We'll be reported.
[07:43] Ben
    We haven't done anything bad, so why is my heart beating so fast?
[07:47] Gintoki
    So, who should we start with?
[07:49] Santa
    I'm not visiting any spoiled kids who asked for something like a Nintendo DS or PlayStation.
[07:53] Santa
    Let's start with the appreciative kids who only ask for a kendama.
SIGN    [Note: Kendama is a wooden toy with a ball on a string. You try to get the ball to land on a spike on the handle.]
[07:55] Gintoki
    Do you really think you're qualified to make children's dreams come true?
[07:58] Gintoki
    Kids today don't want simple stuff like that.
[08:00] ---
    Ah...
[08:01] Gintoki
    I found someone! Yuri Tsukishima-chan.
[08:02] ---
    It's hard to find a kid like her these days...
SIGN    [A kendama and a sweet mother.]
[08:07] Gintoki
    A-A mother...is kinda difficult...
[08:10] Ben
    Yuri-chan... I wonder if her mom died...
[08:13] Santa
    Ben, don't say that! It's against the rules to make two wishes.
[08:18] Santa
    She won't get anything that way!
[08:18] Santa
    How about the others? Does anybody wish they had something like a kendama?
[08:20] Gin Tama
    Why are you insisting on a kendama?
[08:22] Santa
    Well, I brought lots of kendama toys because I thought it would be all the rage.
[08:26] Santa
    But I was wrong. I was right about last year's Korean star boom in Japan though.
[08:29] Gintoki
    What kind of presents did you give to children during the Korean star boom?!
[08:33] ---
    Hey, there might be a kendama boom after all.
SIGN    [A kendama and wings to fly into the future.]
[08:39] Gintoki
    I want that, too.
[08:40] Santa
    Who's next? Who wants a kendama?
[08:42] Gintoki
    Forget about the kendama!
[08:43] Santa
    Shut up. Hey, I don't have anything else, but kendama this year!
[08:46] Santa
    So we have to find children who want a kendama!
[08:49] Gintoki
    You're just an old man who hands out kendama as presents! All right, let's see...
[08:53] Gintoki/Santa/ Ben
    Here we go!
SIGN    [We played kendama all summer together... I'll never forget that summer.]
[08:58] Gintoki
    He's talking about a toy here, right?
[09:01] Santa
    How old is this little sicko?
[09:04] Santa
    Damn it! We were too loud!
[09:06] Gintoki
    You're speaking too loud! Agh! And so am I!
[09:09] Santa
    Let's get out of here!
[09:10] Ben
    Ah... Look over there!
[09:11] Ben
    Yuri-chan!
[09:12] Ben
    Yuri-chan wished for a "kendama and a sweet mom."
[09:15] Gintoki
    She's expecting you to make her Christmas wishes come true. Oh, boy...
[09:22] Gintoki
    She wrote "a kendama and a sweet mom."
[09:24] Gintoki
    That means she really wants a kendama.
[09:26] Gintoki
    She might have special memories of it, or something...
[09:29] Gintoki
    We can't do anything about her mom, but a kendama...
[09:31] Gintoki
    You should do it...
[09:34] Santa/Ben
    Yuri-chan!
[09:37] Yuri
    Mom, thieves!
[09:48] Santa
    Um... Mom?!
[09:50] Ben
    Mom... What?
[09:54] Santa
    Please return to your sweet mom self!
[10:04] Santa
    The sun is rising, Ben...
[10:06] Santa
    And we didn't even make one child's wish come true yet.
[10:11] Ben
    This year was the worst.
[10:13] Santa
    Let's go to the last house, Ben. We can't go home like this.
[10:17] Santa
    Let's pick a child whose family is so poor that the only toys they get are from the Dollar Store.
[10:24] Santa
    Then we can bask in that one child's joy and go home.
[10:27] Santa
    Odd Jobs-san, please.
[10:29] Gintoki
    I already said there's no such kid in this age of gluttony.
SIGN    [Steamed pork bun]
SIGN    [Odd Jobs Gin]
[10:41] Gintoki
    I'm really sorry.
[10:43] Santa
    No problem.
[10:46] ---
    Besides, you're very lucky to have a child who likes cheap things.
[10:50] Gintoki
    Oh? Where is she?
[10:52] Santa
    I feel like I'm finally doing my Santa work.
[10:55] Ben
    You should look at yourself in the mirror. You're a thief, nothing but a thief.
[11:02] Gintoki
    Hey!
[11:03] Santa
    Oh? She's sleeping under the kotatsu.
SIGN    [Note: Kotatsu is a low table with an electric foot warmer underneath it, covered by a quilt.]
[11:07] Ben
    What's this? Why are we doing something like Neoki Dokkiri?
SIGN    [Note: Neoki Dokkiri is an old TV show where the crew visits someone's house and films them waking up.]
[11:11] Gintoki
    A snot bubble!
[11:16] Ben
    Why are these guys so excited?
[11:18] Santa
    Hey, let me do it.
[11:26] Kagura
    What are you doing?
[11:28] Kagura
    What about my steamed pork bun?!
[11:33] Gintoki
    She's dreaming! Dreaming! Shoot!
[11:36] Gintoki
    Gotta get out of here... The Abyss gate is calling me!
[11:47] Gintoki
    Let go!
[11:48] Reindeer
    You let go of me!
[12:12] Kagura
    Oops, I fell asleep under the kotatsu!
[12:18] Kagura
    Steamed pork buns!
[12:19] Kagura
    Gin-chan kept his promise to buy me steamed pork buns!
[12:29] Kagura
    Yummy!
SIGN    ["Prayer Won't Make Your Worldly Desires Go Away! Control Yourself"]
[12:42] Katoken
    O-le, O-le.
[12:47] Katoken
    Katoken samba!
[12:51] Katoken
    O-le!
[12:52] Otae
    Kagura-chan, that's enough. Do you want hot oden all over your face?
[12:58] Ako
    Right now, I am bald under this wig...
[13:04] Shinpachi
    There's nothing like watching the Red and White Song Festival while sitting at the kotatsu, Sis.
SIGN    [Note: The "Red and White Song Festival" is an annual singing competition that is broadcast every New Year's Eve.]
[13:07] Otae
    Agreed. When dad was alive, the three of us used to enjoy sitting at the kotatsu.
[13:13] Shinpachi
    By the way, Gin-san is late.
[13:15] Shinpachi
    He went out to buy the JUMP double issue.
[13:17] Shinpachi
    I wonder if he had an accident and lost his memory again.
[13:21] Otae
    He's probably having double fun with a girl. Leave him be.
[13:25] Kagura
    Your baldness caused by stress...
SIGN    [Note: Chikuwa is fish sausage. One of the ingredients in Oden.]
[13:30] Otae
    Kagura-chan, you want hot chikuwa shoved in your nose?
[13:41] Hattori
    Eh? What? It's the JUMP double issue.
[13:44] Gintoki
    JUMP double issue. Eh? JUMP double issue?
[13:47] Hattori
    JUMP double issue?
[13:48] Gintoki
    Good grief. There's only one left...
[13:50] Hattori
    What should we do?
[13:51] Gintoki
    I've already been to seven or eight convenience stores already.
[13:55] Gintoki
    Everyone's free during the holiday season, so they are all sold out.
[13:57] Hattori
    Yeah? Well, I've been to ten convenience stores.
[14:00] Gintoki
    Oh, if I include this one, I've actually been to 15 stores.
[14:03] Hattori
    Well, my little boy, Hiroshi really wants JUMP.
[14:08] Hattori
    Hiroshi is my son and only 5 years old.
[14:10] Gintoki
    My mom really wants it, too. She's sick.
[14:14] Gintoki
    I wonder if she'll see it through the year... In fact, I'm sure she won't.
[14:17] Hattori
    Well, Hiroshi is also going to die.
[14:19] Gintoki
    Hiroshi is going to die?
[14:21] Hattori
    Well...
[14:22] Hattori
    I want to make his last moments happy.
[14:23] Gintoki
    Wait a minute. Wait. What?
[14:25] Gintoki
    Does Hiroshi really want JUMP? JUMP has really gone downhill recently.
[14:28] Gintoki
    I think this one is better.
SIGN    [Dirty Girls]
[14:30] Hattori
    Well... Hiroshi is only five years old.
[14:32] Hattori
    Well... but Hiroshi might like this... I should buy it... Not for me, just for Hiroshi.
[14:39] Store Person
    Welcome.
[14:41] Hattori
    Hey, wait a minute! That's not fair!
[14:42] Gintoki
    Hiroshi is too young for JUMP. That one is better for him.
[14:46] Hattori
    He's too young for this!
[14:48] Hattori
    Honestly, there is no Hiroshi. Hiroshi doesn't exist! Idiot!
[14:52] Gintoki
    You're the idiot! I don't have a mom who is dying, either! Stupid! Idiot!
[14:56] Hattori/Gintoki
    Here's the money!
[14:58] Gintoki
    You're killing me! You ought be ashamed of yourself reading JUMP at your age!!
[15:02] Gintoki
    Do you have a Peter Pan complex?! No fairy will come for you!
[15:05] Store Clerk
    Um...
[15:06] Gintoki
    They curse you behind your back.
[15:08] Hattori
    And who are you to talk, you pathetic JUMP fan you?! Reading JUMP on New Year's Eve!
[15:11] Store Clerk
    Excuse me...
[15:14] Store Clerk
    Excuse me, but neither of you have enough money.
[15:17] Store Clerk
    Money. Not enough.
[15:21] Store Clerk
    Unless you combine your funds. Your decision.
[15:24] Kondo
    Normally, New Year's Eve is a time to get wild and cut loose.
[15:29] Kondo
    But we have a duty to defend Edo.
[15:31] Kondo
    So tonight restrict yourself to one glass.
[15:34] Kondo
    Just know that I'm proud of you...and of your restraint.
[15:37] Kondo
    Thank you for all your hard work this year!
[15:41] Samurai
    Cheers!
[15:43] Hijikata
    You could use some restraint!
[15:45] Hijikata
    They're hopeless...
[15:48] Okita
    Aw, c'mon! It's New Year's! Everything's informal, Hijikata.
[15:52] Hijikata
    But you behave informal every day.
[15:54] Hijikata
    Oh, well. I'm not going to drink tonight, so you guys have a great time.
SIGN    [Note: Konoyaro means "you bastard".]
[15:58] Okita
    Is there something worrying you, Hijikata Konoyaro?
[16:02] Hijikata
    What's left of the Viper's gang is still out there.
[16:04] Hijikata
    And a bunch of bombs are still missing from that warehouse.
SIGN    [Snake Killer]
[16:07] Okita
    It's like a pesky snake that still lives even after we cut off its head.
[16:12] Gintoki
    I said I'll read this today, and I'll loan it to you tomorrow.
SIGN    [Oedo Mart]
[16:16] Hattori
    What do you mean "loan it"? I paid for half, too. Idiot! You bastard!
[16:19] Hattori
    Let me ask you something. Which part of JUMP do you read?
[16:22] Hattori
    I bet you just read two or three mangas and then dump it, right? But I read all the mangas.
[16:24] Hattori
    I love JUMP more than you do.
[16:26] Gintoki
    What do you know?!
[16:27] Gintoki
    I'm not satisfied with reading only the manga,
[16:29] Gintoki
    so I even read the comments of the manga artists at the end.
[16:31] Gintoki
    I even read the lousy editor's comments!
[16:32] Hattori
    I read about the gift winners, and send in a survey postcard every week.
[16:38] Gintoki
    That's nothing!
[16:39] Gintoki
    I look over the advertisements for the suspicious mail-order goods on the back.
[16:43] Gintoki
    And, sometimes I even buy them.
[16:44] Hattori
    Hey, if you don't quit, our issue of JUMP is gonna rip in two.
[16:48] Hattori
    Damn it! Let's take a timeout. Take your hands off it for now. I promise I won't take it.
[16:51] Gintoki
    You take your hands off it first. Then I'll do it.
[16:53] Hattori
    Be an adult! An adult would think about the safety of JUMP!
[16:59] Gintoki
    If you take your hands off it, it'll be safe.
[17:01] Hattori
    All right. Then let's take our hands off it at the same time. OK, counting, one, two and three.
[17:04] Gintoki
    Wait! Do we take our hands off at the "t" or the "e" of three?
[17:07] Hattori
    At the "e." After the "e."
[17:09] Gintoki
    At the moment you say "e," or right after you say "e"?
[17:11] Hattori
    Huh? I'm getting confused...
[17:14] Hattori
    Oh, let's ask that old lady over there to hold it for us.
[17:16] Gintoki
    I'll bet that old boomerang is your spy. You paid her to give it right back to you.
[17:20] Hattori
    If I could pay an old lady, I'd have bought the JUMP!
[17:23] Gintoki
    Excuse me, old lady, but could you hold onto this for us?
[17:26] Old Lady
    Huh?
[17:27] Hattori
    Well, I understand that you're a bit surprised, but please?
[17:32] Old Lady
    Hey... Are you guys going to take your hands off it?
[17:35] Hattori
    Hey, hey, cut it out. Even now, you're not going to take your hands off it?!
[17:38] Gintoki
    What are you saying?! I'm all loose and everything.
[17:41] Gintoki
    You're just squeezing it too hard!
[17:46] Hattori
    Hey! Take your hands off it! Gee! You're gonna kill the old lady!
[17:49] Gintoki
    Take your hands off it! Why don't you tell her to let go?!
SIGN    [Viper Transportation]
[18:07] Katsura
    I see... The rest of Viper's gang...
[18:11] Katsura
    And... What's their plan?
[18:13] Sobaya
    Rumor is they're going to attack the terminal.
[18:16] Sobaya
    Let's see... I heard they'll attack the terminal with a truck full of justa-something bombs.
[18:20] Sobaya
    I can't believe they're going to do it on New Year's Eve.
[18:25] Sobaya
    What do you think? Will it work?
[18:28] Katsura
    Not a chance.
[18:29] Sobaya
    Why is that?
[18:31] Katsura
    Any Edoite who tries to get anything done tonight...is bound to screw it up somehow.
[18:34] Katsura
    Edo's a party town.
[18:41] Gintoki
    Hey, wait! That JUMP is mine!
[18:44] Hattori
    No!
[18:46] Hattori
    That is my JUMP!
[18:48] Gintoki
    Is he a monster?!
[18:50] Gintoki
    He's so agile!
[18:53] Hattori
    Sorry, brother!
[18:55] Hattori
    I may not look it, but I used to be a member of the Oniwabanshu.
SIGN    [NOTE: The Oniwabanshu was a group of elite ninjas formed by Yoshimune Tokugawa.]
[18:58] Gintoki
    Hey! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
[19:10] Gintoki
    You're trying to get me killed, aren't you?!
[19:13] Gintoki
    I thought I was going to die. I was almost crying, bastard!
[19:16] Hattori
    I'm the one who nearly died! Hell, my life is still flashing before my eyes!
[19:22] Gintoki
    It's flashing because we're on a truck!
[19:26] Gintoki
    All right... I'll take...
[19:29] Hattori
    I won't let you have it!
[19:31] Hattori
    You don't even understand JUMP's three key principles: "Friendship," "Struggle" and "Victory."
[19:35] Hattori
    You don't deserve to read it!
[19:39] Hattori
    It's mine!
[19:40] Gintoki
    I won't let you have it!
[19:42] Gintoki
    "Friendship, Struggle and Victory?"
[19:44] Gintoki
    You think you can master those just by reading JUMP?
[19:48] Gintoki
    Pathetic! You're just trying to fill the emptiness in your life by reading JUMP.
[19:52] Gintoki
    You use JUMP as a confidence booster.
[19:55] Gintoki
    JUMP shouldn't be used for that purpose!
[20:06] Gintoki
    Fine... This is the best way for real men.
[20:10] Gintoki
    We'll settle this just as they do in JUMP!
[20:12] Hattori
    Tsk. I prefer love-comedy manga to battle manga.
[20:16] Hattori
    But I have no choice. Sometimes a man must fight for his love!
[20:19] Gintoki
    Gintoki Sakata.
[20:21] Hattori
    Zenzo Hattori.
[20:22] Gintoki/Hattori
    Now!
[20:26] Masujiro
    ...What? Did I just hear a weird noise?
[20:29] Masujiro
    I wonder if the cops know we're here...
[20:32] Kambei
    Don't worry, it's New Year's Eve and even cops are partying tonight.
[20:36] Kambei
    Besides, this truck looks perfectly ordinary,
[20:40] Kambei
    so people will never guess it's equipped with a fearsome bomb.
[20:44] Kambei
    Edo will soon be a sea of fire.
[20:51] Gintoki
    JUMP...
[20:53] Gintoki
    Give it back to me!
[20:55] Masujiro
    Ka-Kambei!
[20:59] Hattori
    JUMP...
[21:01] Hattori
    Give it back to me!
[21:09] Gintoki (M)
    "Friendship, Struggle...
[21:11] Hattori (M)
    ...Victory"...
[21:12] Gintoki (M)
    I don't exactly get it, but...
[21:14] Hattori (M)
    Those aren't bad...
[21:17] Hattori
    I'll never think of it that way!
[21:19] Gintoki
    This JUMP is mine!
[21:27] Kagura
    Big sister, what kind of noise do you hear?
[21:31] Kagura
    Is that a student preparing for his entrance exams by banging his head against the wall?
[21:34] Otae
    No, Kagura-chan.
[21:35] Otae
    That's the sound of businessmen who've been downsized throwing themselves out windows.
[21:40] Shinpachi
    Sis... What are you teaching her, anyway?
[21:42] Otae
    It's all right. When you give a child something to dream for, sometimes you have to lie.
[21:45] Shinpachi
    Well, your idea of revenge doesn't leave much room for hope and dreams.
[21:48] Shinpachi
    Kagura-chan, that's the New Year's Eve bell.
[21:51] Shinpachi
    They ring that bell 108 times on New Year's Eve.
[21:55] Kagura
    108 times? No wonder they're jumping out windows!
[21:58] Shinpachi
    108 symbolizes the number of a person's earthly desires.
[22:01] Shinpachi
    Each time the bell is struck,
[22:03] Shinpachi
    another desire is struck from your heart, so you can start the new year fresh.
[22:10] Otae
    Kagura-chan, your heart is already clean, so you don't need it.
[22:14] Otae
    But as people grow up, they become more greedy for things.
[22:20] Otae
    Kagura-chan, Shin-chan. I hope you two don't grow up like that.
[22:24] Otae
    Desire leads only to ruin.
[22:28] Gintoki/Hattori
    J-JUMP is...
[22:31] Gintoki/Hattori
    mine...
[22:35] Gintoki
    Oh?
SIGN    [AKAMARU JUMP]
[22:36] Gintoki
    Looking at it up close...
[22:41] Gintoki
    ...it's just AKAMARU JUMP.
SIGN    
SIGN    Heavy snow?
SIGN    The spirit of an Edoite is to enjoy every occasion!
SIGN    The next episode: "Only Children Play in the Snow." Let the Kabukicho Snow Festival begin!
SIGN    [Hasegawa-san created this snow statue titled, "Flight."]
SIGN    [Another episode will be: "Eating Ice Cream in Winter Is Awesome."]
[24:41] Kagura/Gintoki/Shinpachi
    We're looking forward to continuing the series this year!