E289 - I'm Odd Jobs, and He's Shinsengumi
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Gin
Y-Yo.
[00:02] Gin
O-Otae...
[00:03] Gin
Pardon the intrusion.
[00:04] Tae
Gin-san? What's the matter?
[00:06] Gin
Nothing. Just dropping by on
the way home from pachinko.
[00:09] Hij
Hey! Why are you drooling?
[00:11] Tae
My, that's unusual.
[00:13] Gin
Wait, it is?
[00:14] Tae
What?
[00:15] Gin
Huh?
[00:16] Gin
W-Well, uh...
[00:17] Gin
I got this sudden urge to see you.
[00:20] Hij
Gin-san wouldn't say that!
[00:22] Tae
Uh, Gin-san, what are you saying?
[00:25] Tae
Did you eat something bad?
[00:27] Hij
Shoot. I don't know how close these two are.
[00:31] Hij
Are they more distant?
[00:32] Gin
D-Don't get the wrong idea.
[00:35] Gin
I might've wanted to see you, but that
doesn't mean I'm interested in you.
[00:39] Gin
I just wanted to get a
look at your moronic mug.
[00:42] Gin
Seriously, don't get the wrong idea.
[00:44] Hij
What are you, a tsundere?!
[00:45] Hij
What the hell do you take me for?!
[00:47] Tae
Listen, why did you come here, Gin-san?
[00:50] Gin
I heard it through the grapevine, you see.
[00:53] Gin
Apparently you brought something home?
[00:58] Gin
I'll cut right to the chase.
[01:02] Gin
Dump that loser
[01:05] Gin
and go out with me.
SIGN I'm Odd Jobs,
and He's Shinsengumi
[02:45] Gin
Dump that loser
SIGN Sakata Gintoki's (Hijikata Toshiro's) request: Watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV.
[02:49] Gin
and go out with me.
[02:55] Hij
What do you think you're saying in my body?
[02:58] Gin
This is the easiest way to split those two up.
[03:02] Hij
Easy, my ass!
[03:03] Hij
Think of all the problems I'd
face after I go back to normal!
[03:05] Tae
Um, Hijikata-san, what brings you here?
[03:09] Hij
Sorry about that.
[03:10] Hij
Forget everything he said.
[03:13] Hij
Anyway, I heard all about it.
That's harsh, you know.
[03:16] Hij
You already have the Gori—
[03:17] Hij
I mean, Kondo-san.
[03:19] Gin
Why are your eyes rolled back?
And what's with the crooked chin?
[03:22] Hij
As the Shinsengumi vice chief,
I can't let this slide.
[03:26] Hij
I'll cut right to the chase.
[03:29] Hij
Forget about the rotten
cat and the rotten gorilla
[03:33] Hij
and party all night with
this demon right here.
[03:39] Gin
You're doing the exact same thing!
[03:41] Hij
An eye for an eye! No, two eyes for an eye!
[03:43] Gin
Not even kowtowing will get
you off the hook for this!
[03:45] Gin
How dare you try to steal the chief's woman?!
[03:47] Gin
Atone for your lack of discipline
by committing suicide!
[03:49] Tae
Stop it, you two.
[03:51] Tae
Don't fight over me.
[03:54] Gin
Things have gotten really messy now!
[03:56] Tae
I had no idea you two felt that way.
[04:00] Tae
Very well.
[04:01] Tae
I'll choose between you two
[04:03] Tae
by taking your yearly incomes
and the like into account.
[04:05] Tae
Give me a week to think it over.
[04:07] Gin
That's not the point! We're
telling you to dump that monster!
[04:10] Tae
I can't do that.
[04:12] Tae
If you want me, you'll have to be
ready to accept Dozaemon-san as well.
[04:16] Tae
I'm docking you a point for that, Gin-san.
[04:18] Hij
You can take a hike, then.
Just let me have Dozaemon-san.
[04:21] Tae
You're cheating on me before
we even start dating?
[04:24] Tae
I'm docking you a point
for that, Hijikata-san.
[04:27] Tae
Come on. Are you two really up for this?
[04:29] Tae
You'll never capture Otae-san's
heart acting like that.
[04:33] Bo
Th-This bitch!
[04:35] Shin
Knock it off!
[04:37] Shin
How could you bring all these
men home while I wasn't around?!
[04:41] Shin
I'm not going to let Gin-san,
Hijikata-san, or Dozaemon-san have you!
[04:46] Shin
Sis, you belong to me!
[04:50] Hij
Sh-Shinpachi? You're back to normal...
[04:55] Kon
You don't have to worry anymore, Toshi.
[04:57] Kon
We heard the whole story.
[04:59] Kon
Leave the rest to us.
[05:02] Gin
K-Kondo-san!
[05:05] Kon
Otae-san,
[05:06] Kon
hurry up and escape with Shinpachi-kun!
[05:08] Kon
This is a dangerous monster!
[05:10] Kon
It's a living embodiment of evil,
born from a certain man's ill intent!
[05:13] Kon
We'll handle things here!
[05:15] Tae
What are you planning to do to Dozaemon-san?
[05:18] Shin
Just come with me! Hurry!
[05:19] Tae
Let go!
[05:22] Kon
Toshi! Odd Jobs!
[05:24] Kon
Quick, get the cart from out front!
[05:26] Kon
Before this thing wakes up,
[05:27] Kon
we must take it to the Fully
Automatic Egg-on-Rice Maker!
[05:30] Kon
Get going!
[05:33] Bo
I always believed you guys had
it in you, even without a leader!
[05:40] Hij
Huh?
[05:41] Gin
There's nothing here.
[05:42] Shin
What are you two doing?!
[05:46] Shin
They got you hook, line, and sinker.
[05:47] Hij
Shinpachi? Where are you?
[05:50] Gin
I only hear his voice.
[05:51] Shin
Those two...
[05:53] Shin
Sis, this country is no longer safe!
[05:56] Shin
Let's flee somewhere far away!
[05:58] Shin
Yes, Otae-san, you and me...
to an island for just the two of us!
[06:03] Kon
Forgive me, Gin-san.
[06:05] Kon
I didn't realize that you
were the real Gin-san!
[06:08] Kon
But I won't get it wrong anymore.
[06:11] Kon
Just me and my pet...
[06:12] Kon
No, it'll be a world for
just you and your pet!
[06:16] Shin
Those two
[06:17] Shin
are Gorilla
[06:20] Shin
and Sacchan inside!
[06:21] Shin
We ended up swapping bodies, too.
[06:26] Mad
This is no time to be
standing around, Vice Chief!
[06:29] Mad
It's me, Yamazaki!
[06:31] Mad
At this rate, we won't be able
[06:33] Mad
to go back to normal—
[06:35] Ymz
We need to go after them immediately!
[06:37] Shin
Put us on!
[06:42] Tae
Let me go, Shin-chan!
[06:45] Tae
Are you really Shin-chan?
[06:46] Shin
Wh-What are you talking about, Otae-san?
[06:49] Shin
I mean, Sis.
[06:50] Shin
I'm your kid brother, Shimura Shinpachi!
[06:55] Shin
Now I can see Otae-san up close and personal
[06:57] Shin
in all sorts of different ways,
and nobody can criticize me for it!
[07:01] Tae
Let me go!
[07:02] Tae
No.
[07:03] Tae
You really aren't Shin-chan.
[07:05] Shin
What are you saying, Otae-san?!
[07:11] Kon
Looks like that Gorilla messed up.
[07:14] Kon
Not surprising, considering he's
an ape with 80% bananas for brains.
[07:18] Kon
I won't screw up.
[07:20] Kon
Gin-san's other half belongs to me.
[07:23] Kon
After all, my brain is 90%
filled with Gin-san's banana—
[07:29] Cat
I hear it.
[07:30] Cat
I hear milady screaming.
[07:35] Kon
Gin-san!
[07:37] Hij
You useless numbskulls!
[07:39] Hij
Why did your egos end up inside glasses?
[07:43] Hij
And what's with Hasegawa-san's body?!
[07:45] Hij
He turned into a corpse the
moment he lost his shades!
[07:48] Shin
If you've got a problem,
complain to Gengai-san instead!
[07:51] Hij
Hey, look...
[07:54] Ymz
Th-That's my body!
[07:56] Ymz
Who is it? Who's in it?!
[07:58] Ymz
Hey! Where are you going?
[08:00] Hij
Is he taking us to that monster?
[08:02] Gin
Who is that?
[08:03] Gin
He's not saying a word, but he's
a pretty useful Yamazaki now.
[08:07] Ymz
I-I'm plenty useful myself, Vice Chief!
[08:12] Gin
What's the matter?
[08:13] Gin
Is something there, Yamazaki?
[08:14] Ymz
No, that's not Yamazaki.
SIGN Please clean up after me.
[08:24] Gin
It's Sadaharu?!
[08:26] Hij
I thought he was guiding us, but he
was just looking for a place to poop!
[08:29] Ymz
And what the hell is he doing with my body?!
[08:32] Ymz
Don't look!
[08:33] Gin
Do you guys really want
to go back to normal?!
[08:36] Ymz
Isn't that obvious?!
[08:37] Ymz
Who on this planet would be
happier as glasses or a dog?!
[08:41] Sad
Hello, it's me.
[08:44] Hat
Honey? What's this, all of a sudden?
[08:46] Sad
I need to tell you something.
[08:49] Hat
Is that really you, honey?
[08:51] Hat
Your voice sounds different...
[08:53] Sad
Nothing escapes you, does it?
[08:57] Sad
Stay calm and hear me out, Hatsu.
[08:59] Sad
Finally, finally...
[09:02] Sad
I found a
[09:05] Sad
new job.
[09:08] Hij
We found a guy who was happy!
[09:10] Hij
Why are you trying to take
advantage of the switch by
[09:12] Hij
getting a new career as my pet?!
[09:14] Sad
Wait, Master. Hear me out.
[09:17] Sad
Right now, my sense of smell is 100
million times better than a human's.
[09:20] Sad
With my nose, we could locate that monster!
[09:23] Hij
Really?
[09:24] Sad
Hang on a sec.
[09:26] Sad
I'll lead you there once I'm done marking.
[09:28] Hij
Hey, he's more useful now
than he was as a human.
[09:32] Hij
Maybe he'd be better off staying a dog.
[09:36] Mad
All right, let's go.
[09:38] Mad
Huh? My body won't move.
[09:41] Mad
Wait, what?
[09:45] Hij
Congrats on...
[09:46] Gin
...your new job.
[09:47] Mad
This is what I was?!
[09:48] Mad
Wait a second!
[09:49] Mad
Don't leave me behind!
[09:51] Ymz
Are you going to abandon me here, too?!
[09:53] Gin
What the hell's going on?
[09:55] Hij
Most of them have switched to careers
in shady businesses dealing with poop.
[09:59] Hij
How are we supposed to go
back to normal like this?
[10:02] Hij
Th-That's...
[10:04] Tae
Guys!
[10:05] Cat
I won't let anyone hurt milady!
[10:09] Shin
Sis!
[10:10] Hij
Damn it!
[10:11] Hij
Those morons made the monster reawaken!
[10:15] Hij
Who's that?
[10:18] Kag
Got him!
[10:20] Kag
Let us show him our combo move, Sou-kun!
SIGN You got it, Kagura-chan.
[10:24] Kag
Here we go—
[10:26] Liz
Who are you calling Sou-kun?!
[10:28] Kat
She's not Kagura. She's Thickagura-chan.
[10:33] Hij
They took it out!
[10:35] Hij
Kagura!
[10:37] Gin
Sogo!
[10:40] Kag
Sou-kun! Hang in there!
[10:43] Kag
This is awful! How could you do this?!
[10:45] Liz
I'm telling you, quit
clinging to him in my body!
[10:49] Liz
Want me to kill you, Zura?!
[10:51] Hij
Huh? That's Zura?
[10:52] Kag
I'm not Zura. I'm Leader.
SIGN I'm Elizabeth.
SIGN I'm Sou-kun.
[10:54] Kag
Accept your fates already, former
Leader and former Sou-kun.
[10:59] Kag
Now that it's come to this,
[11:00] Kag
we must each play the roles
we've been given to perfection.
[11:04] Kag
The two of us as law-abiding citizens,
[11:07] Kag
and the two of you as heinous terrorists.
[11:09] Kag
You're the terrorist! Quit passing
the buck for your crimes!
[11:12] Kat
Shut up, Elizaretch. You're being unsightly.
[11:15] Kag
You shut up, Trashura!
[11:16] Kat
I'm not Trashura. I'm Sou-kun.
[11:18] Kag
Can't you two get along?
[11:22] Kag
Katsura and Elizabeth are
supposed to be bosom buddies.
[11:25] Kag
You won't be able to
defeat us, the buddy duo,
[11:28] Kag
or crush the bakufu like that.
[11:31] Kag
I'm telling you, quit touching him!
[11:32] Kag
It makes me sick!
[11:33] Kag
Why do I have to team up with him?
[11:36] Kag
Edo will seriously be destroyed!
[11:37] Kat
That's the spirit, Elizaretch.
[11:39] Kat
That's what makes a Joi Rebel.
[11:41] Kag
I'm neither Elizaretch nor a Joi Rebel!
[11:43] Kag
What are you, a Zura copycat?!
[11:45] Kat
Cop or Joi Rebel...
[11:47] Kat
It doesn't matter if our roles are reversed.
Taking your head is still my goal.
[11:51] Kat
Isn't that right, Katsura?
[11:53] Kag
Now that's more like Katsura.
[11:54] Kat
I'm not Katsura. I'm Sou-kun!
[11:56] Kag
You're not Sou-kun. You're Katsura!
[11:58] Hij
Hey! Quit complicating things!
[11:59] Hij
What are you idiots even fighting about?!
[12:01] Hij
Don't you know that this isn't the time for it?
[12:05] Tae
Everyone...
[12:06] Shin
Sis!
[12:07] Tae
Please stop driving
Dozaemon-san into a corner.
[12:10] Tae
Why are you doing this?
We just want to live in peace.
[12:15] Tae
Also, you're all acting strange.
[12:17] Tae
What happened to you?
[12:19] Shin
Sis, this is—
[12:21] Hij
Keep your mouth shut, Glasses.
You'll only make things worse.
[12:24] Gin
Otae, Dozaemon-san is
actually someone's pet cat.
[12:28] Gin
He may not remember it, but we
need to return him to his owner.
[12:33] Gin
Could you persuade him for us?
[12:35] Tae
I won't hand Dozaemon-san over to you.
[12:38] Tae
I would've believed you any other time,
but you're all acting weird tonight.
[12:41] Hij
Wh-What's so weird?
[12:43] Kon
Yeah!
[12:45] Kon
Stop making baseless accusations, Otae-san.
[12:47] Kon
I don't know about the others, but Gin-san—
[12:50] Kon
My Toshi's the same as ever!
[12:52] Kon
Right, Toshi?
[12:54] Hij
Shut it, biatch!
[12:56] Tae
See? This is weird.
[12:58] Hij
Wh-What do you mean?
[13:00] Hij
You know Kondo-san and I are tight.
[13:03] Hij
We're basically joined at the hip.
[13:04] Tae
More like joined at the nip.
[13:06] Hij
You might not have been aware, but
this is how we are most of the time.
[13:10] Hij
Honestly, the Shinsengumi is full of homos.
[13:13] Hij
That's exactly why he fell for you—
[13:15] Tae
Who are you calling a homo?!
[13:18] Gin
C-Calm down, Otae.
[13:19] Gin
Them being weird is nothing new, right?
[13:22] Tae
They're weird with a capital W now!
[13:23] Shin
Cut it out, Sis!
[13:25] Shin
What's so wrong with siblings taking
baths or sleeping together?!
[13:29] Shin
Right, Toshi—
[13:30] Shin
Gin-san?
[13:31] Gin
Th-That's right.
[13:32] Gin
Shinpachi lusting over you is nothing new.
[13:36] Gin
All that brother and sister
stuff doesn't matter.
[13:38] Gin
He's in heat all year round.
[13:40] Gin
Besides, what's the problem with
two men taking a bath together—
[13:43] Tae
Who are you calling a man?!
[13:46] Cat
You filthy knaves.
[13:48] Cat
Get away from milady.
[13:49] Cat
She is my owner.
[13:51] Cat
I'm not going anywhere!
[13:53] Hij
Just how much has that dumbass taken to her?
[13:56] Gin
We don't have a choice anymore.
[13:58] Gin
We're gonna have to drag your
ego out of him by force.
[14:02] Hij
Can we?
[14:03] Shin
Yes, we can.
[14:05] Shin
Although our bodies and minds
are all over the place,
[14:08] Shin
we have a common goal this time.
[14:10] Shin
We are one organization,
[14:12] Shin
whose two leaders taught us all
about freedom and discipline.
[14:16] Bo
That so?
[14:18] Bo
Then he can pay your wages.
[14:23] Gin
Let's do this, you louts!
[14:25] Hij
Take back our real bodies!
[14:31] Tae
Stop!
[14:33] Hij
Shinpachi!
[14:36] Shin
Go!
[14:39] Shin
Sis, open your eyes wide
and take a good look!
[14:43] Shin
Our bodies and minds are
all over the place now,
[14:46] Shin
but that's exactly why we weren't
fixated on appearances alone
[14:52] Shin
and managed to find our true leaders,
[14:54] Shin
our true colors!
[14:56] Tae
Wh-What's this?
[15:05] Shin
I won't be led astray anymore!
[15:09] Kon
Even if I were to turn into
an incestuous pervert!
[15:12] Shin
You were always a pervert!
[15:17] Kon
Even if I were
[15:18] Sac
to turn into a disgraceful stalker!
[15:20] Shin
You two were always disgraceful stalkers!
[15:23] Bo
We are
[15:24] Bo
us!
[15:25] Kon
We won't let you flirt
with Otae-san any further!
[15:25] Sac
We won't let you flirt
with Gin-san any further!
[15:30] Kag
Precisely!
[15:32] Kag
No matter what happens, we won't be
dyed in anybody else's colors now.
[15:35] Kag
It's our turn to dye you in
our colors and bring you back.
[15:41] Kag
So...
[15:42] Kat
Come back to us, Gin-chan!
[15:45] Kat
Let's be Joi Rebels again
and overthrow the bakufu!
SIGN Come back.
[15:49] Kag
Are you kidding me?!
[15:50] Kag
Don't go getting my hands dirty!
[15:54] Kat
Exactly.
[15:55] Kat
The ones who'll destroy the Shinsengumi
(mainly the Vice Chief)
[15:58] Kat
and overthrow the bakufu will be us!
[16:01] Kat
I'll hold the fort here.
[16:02] Kat
Go, Elizaretch!
[16:04] Kag
This guy's gotten totally
dyed in terrorist colors!
[16:07] Sou
I'm not a terrorist. I'm Sou-kun.
[16:09] Kag
Whatever!
[16:10] Kag
To hell with it!
[16:12] Kag
Give Gin-chan's gonads back!
[16:13] Kat
Ego, not gonads, Elizaretch!
[16:18] Shin
Oh, no!
[16:20] Shin
He still had this much strength left?!
[16:27] Tae
Gin-san! Hijikata-san!
[16:37] Shin
Th-That's...
[16:40] Shin
Who is that?!
[16:41] Shin
Actually, what is that?!
[16:46] Mad
What are you guys doing?
[16:47] Shin
No, what are you guys doing?!
[16:49] Shin
How did a fusion of shit and shades give birth
[16:51] Shin
to an unprecedented supernatural creature?!
[16:57] Mad
Don't break formation!
[16:58] Mad
Use your own brains to figure out
what you can do within the organization!
[17:03] Shin
And it's super strong!
[17:07] Mad
Remember what our leaders taught us!
[17:10] Mad
Our other leaders taught us a way of life
that was completely the opposite of our style!
[17:15] Mad
And now, we understand how important
both freedom and discipline are!
[17:19] Mad
Discipline your weak selves for the
organization's sake and take a stand!
[17:22] Mad
But instead of adhering
to someone else's rules,
[17:24] Mad
adhere to your own convictions
[17:26] Mad
and take back what's important to us!
[17:30] Mad
Come back,
[17:32] Mad
leaders!
[17:37] Gin
You guys...
[17:38] Cat
Milady!
[17:40] Tae
Dozaemon-san,
[17:43] Tae
it looks like this is not where you belong.
[17:49] Tae
Dozaemon-san...
[17:50] Tae
No, Leader.
[17:53] Tae
Go home, to where your friends are waiting.
[17:59] Shin
Goodbye,
[18:03] Shin
our other leader.
[18:06] Shin
And
[18:08] Shin
welcome back,
[18:10] Shin
our leader!
[18:31] Gin
There! Something came out of his mouth!
[18:34] Hij
That's it! That's my ego's other half!
[18:38] Hij
Huh?
[18:43] Hij
That's where it comes out from?!
[18:47] Gin
He spewed out something outrageous!
[18:49] Gin
I know the ego went in through his asshole,
[18:51] Gin
but it comes out of there, too?!
[18:52] Hij
Hey! Is my ego mixed in here?
[18:55] Hij
Where? Where is it?
[18:56] Hij
I can't tell due to all these mosaics!
[18:57] Hij
Hasegawa-san, you were poop to begin with.
[18:59] Hij
Dive in there and find it for me!
[19:03] Kag
The poop threw up upon seeing poop!
[19:04] Kag
Now there's mosaics on top of mosaics!
[19:32] Gin
How have things been on your end since then?
[19:35] Hij
Nothing's changed, really.
[19:37] Gin
So you've gone back to living life
bound by those stifling ironclad rules?
[19:42] Gin
But when I was around, they were
doing just fine even without those.
[19:46] Gin
Shackle them all you want,
but morons will always be morons.
[19:49] Gin
Letting them cut loose every
now and then won't change that.
[19:53] Hij
It's none of your business now, is it?
[19:55] Hij
What, are you worried about them?
[19:59] Gin
As if.
[20:00] Gin
I'm just giving you some
advice as a superior leader.
[20:03] Hij
How are things at your place, anyway?
[20:06] Hij
You'd better be paying those guys.
[20:09] Hij
Given the right rules and incentives,
[20:13] Hij
even morons can serve a purpose.
[20:15] Hij
So just pay their wages, at least.
[20:18] Gin
What's with you? You looking out for them?
[20:21] Gin
Did you grow attached to them?
[20:22] Hij
Are you stupid?
[20:24] Hij
I just want you to return the
money I had to pay those guys.
[20:31] Gin
Well, whatever.
[20:32] Gin
It's your organization.
Run it however you want.
[20:36] Gin
But keep this piece of advice in mind.
[20:40] Gin
Thank them properly.
[20:43] Gin
Without them, their idiotic vice chief
couldn't have gone back to normal.
[20:47] Gin
Leader or not, a man's gotta
say what he's gotta say.
[20:51] Gin
That's part of the vice chief's duties, too.
[20:53] Hij
Right back at you, President.
[20:56] Hij
Bow that worthless head of yours, open
your mouth, and thank those brats.
[21:00] Hij
A president ought to show
that much tact, at least.
[21:04] Gin
I'll thank them if you do.
[21:05] Hij
I'm a capable leader. I don't
need you to tell me what to do.
[21:09] Gin
I'm capable of saying it
myself, you V-shaped baldy.
[21:12] Hij
That so?
[21:14] Hij
Then I'll make sure to
pass your message along,
[21:16] Hij
Vice Chief.
[21:18] Gin
Why'd you have to leave
me such an annoying task?
[21:20] Gin
Stupid President.
[21:28] Shin
Gin-san!
[21:29] Shin
What took you so long?
[21:32] Kon
Over here, Toshi!
[21:35] Shin
So...
[21:36] Shin
Have you figured out a way for
us to go back to normal...
[21:40] Oki
...Leader?
[21:41] Gin
Well, about that...
[21:44] Hij
Don't you think it's about
time we changed leaders?
[21:48] Kag
Screw you!
[21:50] Kag
Take responsibility and
make this right, Leader!
[21:52] Shin
You guys were the only
ones to go back to normal!
[21:54] Kon
Who the hell put poop
in the transfer device?!
[21:57] Gin
More like everyone was covered in poop!
SIGN Preview
[23:35] Sak
At long last, an episode
with me in the lead role!
[23:38] Sak
I bet there'll be a special opening next
week, with everything switched to me.
[23:43] Sak
I can't wait!
SIGN Always Leave Enough Room for Fifty Million in Your Bag
[23:44] SaK
Next Episode: "Always Leave Enough
Room for Fifty Million in Your Bag."
SIGN The opening won't change. It'll be the same as usual.
SIGN You're a trader, so you should know all about budgetary constraints.
SIGN If only fifty million fell from the sky...
SIGN We're waiting with our bags wide open.
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