E193 - Cooking Is About Guts

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:33] Kagura
    Time to eat!
[01:41] Kagura
    I live for this stuff!
[01:46] Kagura
    One more, one more.
[01:48] Gintoki
    Say, Kagura-chan...
[01:50] Gintoki
    We've been having egg over
    rice for how many days now?
[01:53] Kagura
    No idea.
[01:54] Kagura
    I don't dwell on the past.
[01:56] Kagura
    No lingering on relationships that
    are over. That's my motto.
[01:59] Gintoki
    Forget the past.
    Look at the garbage disposal.
[02:02] Gintoki
    It's filled with the remains of
    the men you've dumped.
[02:05] Gintoki
    We've been having egg
    over rice forever...
[02:07] Gintoki
    It's been egg over rice ever since
    it's been your turn to cook.
[02:11] Gintoki
    Three straight days of egg over rice...
[02:14] Gintoki
    Hell, I'm starting to feel like
    an egg poured over rice.
[02:17] Gintoki
    This morning, I was like...
[02:18] Gintoki
    "The eggs, the eggs are coming, rice!"
[02:22] Kagura
    It tastes good, so who cares?
[02:24] Kagura
    I can never get enough of this.
[02:26] Gintoki
    That's you.
[02:27] Gintoki
    That's because you reset your
    brain every single day.
[02:30] Gintoki
    Because you lose your
    saved game every day.
[02:32] Gintoki
    Because you start over from
    Aliahan every day...
SIGN    [Note: First town in the game Dragon Quest 3 (DQ3).]
[02:34] Gintoki
    But y'know, men have a hard
    time getting over these things.
[02:37] Gintoki
    When they're getting a puff-puff in Ashalam,
    they remember their mothers.
SIGN    [Note: Another town in the game DQ3.]
[02:42] Gintoki
    Sorry, Mom.
SIGN    ["Puff-puff"]
[02:43] Gintoki
    I haven't done anything
    to save the world.
[02:47] Gintoki
    This whole Aliahan narration
    spiel starts flashing by.
[02:51] Gintoki
    Enough of this.
[02:53] Gintoki
    Let's go defeat Baramos.
SIGN    [Note: Boss character in DQ3.]
[02:55] Gintoki
    It's time for the hero to leave the nest.
SIGN    Time to hatch from its egg.
[03:02] Kagura
    He should be glad I'm even making
    food for him, stupid idiot.
[03:07] Kagura
    Keeps nagging and nagging
    like a mother-in-law.
[03:11] Shinpachi
    Kagura-chan, egg over rice
    certainly tastes good,
[03:14] Shinpachi
    but having it every day is too much.
[03:16] Shinpachi
    It's better when you only have
    it once in a while.
[03:18] Shinpachi
    You need to have a balanced diet.
[03:21] Otae
    That's right.
[03:22] Otae
    You could also try scrambled
    eggs or rolled omelets.
[03:26] Shinpachi
    Those are still egg recipes, Sis!
[03:28] Kagura
    I don't need anything besides
    my egg over rice.
[03:31] Kagura
    I can survive if I've got my
    egg over rice with me.
[03:35] Shinpachi
    It might be fine with you, Kagura-chan,
[03:36] Shinpachi
    but once you're married,
    your husband will have a hard time.
[03:39] Kagura
    I'm never getting married.
[03:41] Kagura
    I'm leeching off Odd Jobs forever.
[03:43] Otae
    Oh, so you're going to marry Gin-san?
[03:46] Kagura
    Who would marry that good-for-nothing...
[03:48] Kagura
    Then I'll marry the Colonel.
[03:51] Kagura
    That old man has every chicken
    under his control.
[03:55] Kagura
    All the eggs and fried chicken I can eat.
[03:57] Shinpachi
    I'm pretty sure that the Colonel would
    be against egg over rice every day.
[04:01] Otae
    You'll have a rough time
    if you marry the Colonel.
[04:04] Otae
    If you don't keep him on a tight leash,
    he'll gorge himself on fried foods.
[04:07] Shinpachi
    The Colonel doesn't live on fried chicken.
[04:11] Shinpachi
    That's his job!
[04:12] Otae
    You need to learn to make stuff like pork
    cutlets and croquettes for a balanced diet.
[04:16] Shinpachi
    Aren't those all fried?!
[04:18] Shinpachi
    Are you trying to kill the Colonel?!
[04:19] Otae
    Kagura-chan, what do you think?
[04:21] Otae
    This is a good opportunity.
[04:22] Otae
    Would you be willing to join me
    in taking cooking classes?
SIGN    
SIGN    [Kitaoji Cooking Class]
[04:37] Otae
    Actually, I was considering expanding
    my cooking repertoire.
[04:42] Otae
    You don't get a chance to learn if your
    mother dies when you're still young.
[04:47] Kagura
    Can I marry the Colonel if
    I learn how to cook here?
[04:51] Otae
    Yes, the Colonel will be mad about you.
[04:54] Otae
    He'll give you a fried ring at a fried
    lounge bar while being fried.
[04:59] Shinpachi
    What do you take the Colonel for?
[05:02] Kagura
    And Shinpachi, why are you here?
[05:05] Shinpachi
    If I don't expand my repertoire,
    nothing will change.
[05:08] Shinpachi
    There will only be more completely
    burned objects.
[05:11] Otae
    Did you say something, Shin-chan?
[05:12] Shinpachi
    No, not a word.
[05:13] Kyu
    Otae-chan.
[05:15] Shinpachi
    Oh, Kyubei-san.
[05:17] Kyu
    I came because you told
    me to, but what is this?
[05:20] Kyu
    Am I supposed to learn how to cook?
[05:23] Kyu
    Men do not step in the kitchen.
[05:25] Kyu
    This is one request I cannot follow...
[05:28] Otae
    You'll also end up being someone's bride,
    so you should learn how to cook.
[05:33] Kyu
    I will never become a bride.
[05:35] Kyu
    If you insist, I would rather take Otae-chan
    or Ronald as my bride.
[05:38] Shinpachi
    Now it's Ronald?!
[05:39] Shinpachi
    You girls must really love junk food!
[05:41] Kyu
    Since Ronald's gender is unclear, and I can
    have all the french fries I want every day.
[05:45] Shinpachi
    You people will eat anything
    if it's been deep-fried!
[05:48] Shinpachi
    Why don't you just eat grease?!
[05:49] Otae
    But if you're going to become Ronald's
    bride or take Ronald as a bride,
[05:53] Otae
    you have to learn how to cook.
[05:55] Otae
    If you don't keep him on a tight leash, he'll stick
    anything and everything between two buns.
[05:59] Otae
    He'll end up sticking mother-in-law and sister-in-law
    between two buns and terrible things will happen.
[06:03] Shinpachi
    What the hell is that?!
    A double In-law Burger?!
[06:06] Sa
    What are you whispering about?
[06:08] Sa
    Otae-san, you intend to learn cooking
    so you can win Gin-san's heart?!
[06:11] Shinpachi
    Sa-chan-san!
[06:13] Sa
    I won't allow you to beat
    me to the punch!
[06:15] Sa
    I will be the one who
    stirs Gin-san's natto!
[06:19] Otae
    You're still after Gin-san?
[06:22] Otae
    You should really snap out of it.
[06:24] Otae
    You could never be happy
    with that lazy bum.
[06:28] Sa
    Don't act like you know what
    you're talking about.
[06:30] Sa
    I'm only after the position of Gin-san's bride!
SIGN    [Note: Mito Komon is the star of a long-running Japanese historical drama TV show.]
[06:32] Sa
    If you insist, I would rather
    be Mito Komon's wife!
[06:34] Shinpachi
    Just to be clear, Mito Natto is famous,
[06:38] Shinpachi
    but it has nothing to do with Mito Komon.
[06:40] Shinpachi
    You won't have all the natto you can eat.
[06:42] Sa
    I can watch all the Komon's anus I want!
SIGN    [Note: A different character for "komon" means anus.]
[06:44] Shinpachi
    What is this, grade school?!
[06:45] Otae
    You don't need to learn cooking to become
    the great Mito Komon's wife.
[06:50] Otae
    As a kunoichi, you just have to take baths and
    use a little sex appeal and he'll be yours.
SIGN    [Note: The show had kunoichi bath scenes to attract male viewers.]
[06:55] Shinpachi
    Hey!
[06:55] Shinpachi
    Don't make it sound like Mito Komon
    made a move on Kaoru Yumi!
[06:59] Teach
    Okay, okay! Keep it down!
[07:01] Teach
    Did you all come here to chat?
[07:04] Teach
    Or did you come to learn how to cook?!
[07:07] Teach
    No, neither is the correct answer!
[07:09] Teach
    You have come to learn how
    to express your affection!
[07:12] Teach
    Understand?
[07:13] Teach
    Cooking is not merely a daily chore!
[07:16] Teach
    You give flowers to the ones you love!
[07:18] Teach
    You hug the ones you love!
[07:19] Teach
    Cooking is but another
    expression of affection!
[07:24] Shinpachi
    She's lecturing us right off the
    bat. Is that our teacher?
[07:27] Otae
    That's Ms. Rosanko Kitaoji,
    a cooking expert.
[07:31] Otae
    She's a talented cook, but also
    known for being very strict.
[07:34] Kagura
    Oh, I think I've seen her on TV before.
SIGN    [Note: Spoof of the show Iron Chef.]
[07:37] Shinpachi
    Ah, I think she was on the Samurai Chef.
[07:40] Teach
    Everyone together now!
[07:42] Teach
    Cooking is about love!
[07:44] All
    Cooking is about love!
[07:46] Teach
    Cooking is about love!
[07:48] Kagura
    No, that wasn't it.
[07:48] All
    Cooking is about love!
[07:50] Kagura
    It was a press conference
    to announce her divorce.
[07:50] Teach
    Cooking is about...
[07:53] Kagura
    It was a nasty mess with the husband
    cheating for over ten years.
[07:58] Sa
    Oh?
[07:59] Sa
    So she's going on about love
    when she has no one to love.
[08:01] Sa
    He ran away.
[08:03] Shinpachi
    Sa-chan-san! She can hear you!
[08:04] Kyu
    You're being rude.
[08:05] Kyu
    We can't be sure that she
    doesn't have a man.
[08:07] Kyu
    Or she may still have feelings
    for that pathetic man.
[08:10] Shinpachi
    You aren't helping, Kyubei-san!
[08:14] Teach
    Well...
[08:15] Teach
    Since this is our first class, I'll have
    you show me how skilled you are.
[08:22] Teach
    Cooking may be about love,
[08:25] Teach
    but I don't want to waste my time on little
    girls who have never held a knife before.
[08:31] Teach
    I shall be testing you now.
[08:35] Teach
    Cook any food to your liking and
    the team with the worst result
[08:40] Teach
    will immediately be kicked out!
[08:45] Shinpachi
    She is so staring right at us!
[08:48] Teach
    Well, everyone!
[08:49] Teach
    Pour all of your knowledge
    and love into your cooking!
[08:53] Teach
    I will witness everything you do right
    and everything you do wrong.
[08:58] Teach
    I won't miss a thing!
[08:59] Teach
    Now begin!
[09:18] A
    How's this?
[09:19] B
    Hmm...
[09:28] Shinpachi
    Sh-She hasn't budged an inch.
[09:30] Shinpachi
    We've been marked.
[09:31] Shinpachi
    She's got her eyes on us!
[09:33] Shinpachi
    The teacher fully intends to get rid of us!
[09:37] Kyu
    Good grief, I came here
    to learn how to cook,
[09:40] Kyu
    so I didn't expect this to happen first.
[09:43] Sa
    There's no other way.
[09:44] Sa
    We'll have to work together.
[09:47] Otae
    I'm not very confident in our technique,
[09:49] Otae
    but they can't beat us when
    it comes to love.
[09:52] Kagura
    Fine by me!
[09:53] Kagura
    I'll show them my love for the Colonel!
[09:56] Kyu
    No, for Ronald.
[09:57] Sa
    For Mito's anus.
[09:59] Shinpachi
    I'm sorry, but...
[10:01] Shinpachi
    You're all over the place, and your
    love is for ridiculous reasons...
[10:05] Otae
    That's true.
[10:06] Otae
    We can't win if we're divided.
[10:09] Otae
    Beggars can't be choosers.
[10:12] Otae
    We'll compromise and go with
    Inaba from the rock duo B'z.
[10:14] Shinpachi
    Why?!
[10:15] Shinpachi
    How do you wind up getting Inaba-san
    out of Mito's anus?!
[10:18] Shinpachi
    You clearly chose him
    for your own reasons!
[10:20] Shinpachi
    Like an office lady's taste in
    men from a decade ago!
[10:22] Sa
    Don't give me that crap!
[10:23] Sa
    I said I wanted Mito's anus!
[10:25] Kyu
    Fine.
[10:26] Kyu
    I'll do whatever Otae-chan wants.
[10:28] Kyu
    We'll go with Inaba-san's asshole.
[10:29] Shinpachi
    Why asshole?!
[10:31] Shinpachi
    You're mixing in the anus talk!
[10:32] Kagura
    Hey! What happened to the Colonel?!
[10:34] Kagura
    Let's merge Inaba and the Colonel!
[10:37] Shinpachi
    Hey! That doesn't matter at this point!
[10:39] Shinpachi
    Let's start cooking!
[10:41] Teach
    It certainly matters!
[10:44] Teach
    Cooking is about love!
[10:47] Teach
    The key isn't what you make.
[10:49] Teach
    The key is who you're making
    it for. Didn't you hear me?
[10:53] Shinpachi
    That may be the key, Teach,
[10:55] Shinpachi
    but Inaba-san and Komon-san
    aren't here!
[10:58] Shinpachi
    They won't be eating our cooking!
[11:00] Kagura
    If we're talking B'z, I prefer Matsumoto
    over Inaba! So manly!
[11:03] Kagura
    And it helps that he looks like
    Ken Shimura, the comedian!
[11:06] Shinpachi
    What are we even trying
    to choose here?!
[11:08] Shinpachi
    Why not go with Ken Shimura
    to begin with?!
[11:10] Otae
    Then if I win rock, paper,
    scissors, it's Inaba-san.
[11:12] Otae
    If Kagura-chan wins,
    Ken Shimura will do.
[11:14] Sa
    No, something's wrong with that.
[11:16] Sa
    It's wrong to separate those two.
[11:18] Sa
    B'z only works when the two
    of them are combined!
[11:20] Shinpachi
    Combining the two of them
    won't give you B'z!
[11:21] Kyu
    Understood. Then I'll do this.
[11:24] Kyu
    If Otae-chan wins, it's B'z.
[11:26] Kyu
    If I win, it's WANDS.
SIGN    [Note: Japanese band from the 90's that was from the same record company as B'z.]
[11:27] Shinpachi
    Where did WANDS come from?!
SIGN    [Note: Dragon Ball GT ending song by WANDS.]
[11:29] Shinpachi
    Do you people want me to take a rusty
    machine gun and shoot you down?!
[11:32] Otae
    This will never end at this rate.
[11:34] Otae
    We should forget about B'z for now.
[11:37] Otae
    Something similar to B'z...
[11:39] Sa
    Oh, then we can go with the Drifterz.
SIGN    [Note: The Drifters, music/comic group from the 70's.]
[11:42] Shinpachi
    How are they similar?!
[11:43] Shinpachi
    You just stuck a 'z' in there
    so it would look similar!
[11:46] Otae
    Then we'll go with KEN from Drifterz.
[11:48] Sa
    CHA would also make a fine choice.
SIGN    [Note: Kato Cha, a member from the Drifters.]
[11:49] Shinpachi
    There are no such flashy
    members in the Drifters!
[11:52] Shinpachi
    It's just Ken Shimura!
[11:54] Shinpachi
    Hey!
[11:55] Shinpachi
    So after all that talking, we
    end up with Ken Shimura?!
[11:57] Shinpachi
    What are you doing?!
[11:59] Shinpachi
    Everyone else has started cooking!
[12:02] Teach
    There are ingredients over there
    so make whatever you want.
[12:06] Teach
    Yes, make something that would
    make KEN very happy.
[12:09] Shinpachi
    I said KEN isn't here!
    KEN won't be eating!
[12:12] Teach
    Shut up! Zip it, little twerp!
[12:14] Kagura
    Can we just salt up this watermelon?
[12:17] Kagura
    He likes quick snacks.
[12:19] Shinpachi
    That wouldn't be considered cooking!
[12:21] Kyu
    I'm sorry to bring this up now, everyone...
[12:23] Kyu
    But...
[12:25] Kyu
    Can we drop KEN for CHA?
[12:28] Shinpachi
    You're still on that subject?!
[12:30] Shinpachi
    Didn't we agree to drop
    that ridiculous topic?!
[12:32] Kyu
    We know that KEN loves his liquor, but nobody
    knows what his favorite foods are.
[12:37] Kyu
    But CHA, on the other hand,
    would be simple.
[12:41] Kyu
    CHA-han, as in fried rice.
[12:43] Shinpachi
    That's just a pun!
[12:45] Otae
    I see, it's perfect for CHA!
[12:48] Otae
    You're brilliant, Kyu-chan!
[12:49] Shinpachi
    No, she's just trying to be clever!
[12:51] Shinpachi
    It has nothing to do with CHA!
[12:53] Kagura
    But I'd feel bad if we ditched KEN now.
[12:56] Shinpachi
    Enough of that!
[12:57] Sa
    Then we can just go with
    KATO-chan KEN-cha-han.
[12:59] Shinpachi
    Hello?!
[12:59] Otae
    Yep! You need both of them
    for KATOKEN to work!
[13:02] Shinpachi
    Nobody cares!
[13:04] Shinpachi
    Nobody at all!
[13:05] Shinpachi
    Cut it out already!
[13:06] Shinpachi
    What did we come here for anyway?!
[13:10] Kyu
    For now, we have green onions,
    pork, eggs, the basics.
[13:15] Kyu
    The question is how do we spice it up?
[13:18] Kyu
    We can add shrimp or scallops
    for a seafood flair...
[13:21] Kyu
    If we add kimchi, we'll
    have kimchi fried rice.
[13:24] Kyu
    What do we do?
[13:27] Kyu
    What do KATO-chan
    and KEN-chan like?
[13:30] All
    No clue.
[13:31] Shinpachi
    Don't give me that!
[13:33] Shinpachi
    You're the ones who decided
    that they like cha-han rice!
[13:35] Shinpachi
    We haven't made any progress at all!
[13:37] Kagura
    Let's go with seafood.
[13:39] Kagura
    Toss in wakame and kombu!
[13:42] Shinpachi
    Hey! Hold it!
[13:44] Kagura
    KEN has a receding hairline.
[13:45] Kagura
    He needs plenty of seaweed
    for minerals!
[13:48] Shinpachi
    Yeah, but that looks horrible!
[13:49] Shinpachi
    It looks like a wig!
[13:52] Kagura
    You're so annoying.
[13:52] Kagura
    I'm wishing for KEN's head
    to end up like this!
[13:58] Otae
    Then we should also throw in nori?
[14:00] Shinpachi
    Not needed! We have enough black!
[14:02] Otae
    Then we'll top it off with
    something Rxxe21-like.
[14:06] Shinpachi
    Rxxe21-like?! That's clearly
    Rxxe21 in your hand!
[14:09] Shinpachi
    It's not edible! It isn't seafood!
[14:12] Otae
    All creatures were born
    from the mother sea.
[14:15] Shinpachi
    Rxxe21 wouldn't count!
[14:16] Shinpachi
    Is this fried rice solely for the
    purpose of growing hair?!
[14:19] Shinpachi
    It'd be faster to stick kombu
    on KEN's head!
[14:22] Sa
    That's right!
[14:23] Sa
    I've been standing here quietly
    while you all go on about KEN!
[14:25] Sa
    Just to be clear!
[14:26] Sa
    This fried rice is KATO-chan
    KEN-cha-han rice!
[14:29] Sa
    KATO-chan is also here!
[14:31] Sa
    KATO-chan and KEN-chan have
    to be together for B'z to work!
[14:35] Shinpachi
    They aren't B'z!
[14:36] Shinpachi
    What the hell do you think B'z is?!
[14:40] Otae
    Then Sarutobi-san...
[14:41] Otae
    Let me ask you. What can
    we do for KATO-chan?
[14:45] Shinpachi
    What are you talking about?
[14:47] Otae
    He has plenty of hair. Lots of money.
[14:49] Otae
    Popular with the girls. Isn't
    he already happy?
[14:52] Sa
    So? You could say the same about KEN,
    besides that he's balding.
[14:56] Otae
    KEN, despite his balding...
[15:00] Otae
    Has this really cool blog...
[15:02] Shinpachi
    What's wrong with that?!
[15:04] Shinpachi
    You can't have a cool blog
    if you're balding?!
[15:06] Shinpachi
    What's the problem?!
[15:07] Otae
    Despite the fact that he's a weird
    old man on the outside,
[15:10] Otae
    he's totally cool on the inside.
[15:12] Otae
    He isn't anything like a weird old man.
[15:14] Otae
    He isn't harumph at all...
[15:17] Shinpachi
    He's so harumph!
[15:18] Shinpachi
    What's wrong with that?!
[15:19] Shinpachi
    That's the point!
[15:20] Shinpachi
    That makes him cool!
[15:22] Sa
    So he wasn't "fine and dandy" at all...
[15:26] Sa
    I'm sorry.
[15:27] Sa
    I had no idea.
[15:29] Shinpachi
    I have no idea why you're apologizing!
[15:32] Sa
    But...
[15:34] Sa
    Is it okay if I say something?
[15:38] Sa
    KATO-chan, at his age...
[15:41] Sa
    Gets completely naked
    when he takes a crap...
[15:45] Otae
    Isn't that taboo?
[15:48] Otae
    I'm sorry... I had no idea...
[15:51] Shinpachi
    How could you possibly
    know that anyway?!
[15:53] Otae
    KATO-chan and KEN-chan
    are hurting and tired...
[15:56] Shinpachi
    How?!
[15:57] Sa
    If only we could make some cha-han
    rice to cheer them up...
[16:02] Sa
    But we're so useless...
[16:05] Otae
    A little girl who's rarely used
    a knife in the kitchen
[16:09] Otae
    could never cook anything full
    of love to cheer someone up...
[16:13] Sa
    We had no chance from the beginning...
[16:17] Shinpachi
    What's with the gloomy mood?
[16:19] Shinpachi
    How did we go from KATO-chan
    pooping naked to this?
[16:24] Shinpachi
    Why is Kyubei-san joining in?
[16:28] Kagura
    It isn't impossible!
[16:34] Shinpachi
    Mentaiko?
[16:55] All
    Teacher, we're done!
[16:58] Kagura
    Please try it.
SIGN    [KATO SHIMURA
    "Go get 'em"]
[17:21] Teach
    Disgusting.
[17:24] Teach
    But...
[17:25] Teach
    If I were KATO-chan KEN-chan,
[17:29] Teach
    I couldn't accept this.
[17:36] Teach
    Now get going.
[17:39] Teach
    I have nothing to teach you.
[17:43] Teach
    Cooking is about love.
[17:46] Teach
    Never forget those words.
[17:48] All
    Okay!
[17:51] Otae
    We did it!
[17:52] Kyu
    We've been titled masters.
[17:54] Kagura
    A master, huh?
[17:56] Kagura
    Now Gin-chan can't complain!
[18:00] Ast
    Teacher, who is this?
[18:03] Teach
    That's what I want to know.
[18:05] Teach
    Who is KATO-chan KEN-chan?
[18:10] Ast
    No idea...
[18:11] Ast
    In any case, it's a good thing you
    got rid of those nuisances.
[18:12] Otae
    Let's repeat it, so we don't forget.
[18:15] Kagura
    Good idea.
[18:16] Kagura
    Cooking is about...
[18:17] All
    Love!
[18:23] Cho
    Hopeless.
[20:17] Kagura
    Boy, the year's already over, huh?
[20:20] Gin
    Sure was fast.
[20:21] Gin
    I hate how the year goes
    by faster as we get older.
[20:27] Gin
    At this rate, by the time I'm an old geezer
[20:30] Gin
    the years will pass at the
    speed of a Formula 1 car.
[20:34] Kagura
    I've still got a long ways to go.
[20:38] Gin
    Well, I'm already up to Ben
    Johnson speed, I'd say.
[20:44] Gin
    My Ben Johnson is already up to here.
[20:46] Gin
    Don't get too cocky because
    you're all still young.
[20:49] Gin
    Your Ben Johnson will fall
    behind soon enough.
[20:50] Kagura
    For real?
[20:52] Kagura
    Ben Johnson's gonna fall out??
[20:53] Kagura
    I prefer Carl Lewis over Ben Johnson.
[20:55] Kagura
    He's cooler.
[20:57] Gin
    Well, all I'm saying is,
[20:58] Gin
    we all had a pretty good year, right?
[21:05] Shinpachi
    Hell no!
[21:06] Shinpachi
    It's still January!
[21:07] Shinpachi
    And haven't we had the exact same
    conversation three years in a row?!
[21:11] Gintoki
    That's 'cause this whole
    segment was recycled.
[21:14] Kagura
    Yeah.
[21:15] Kagura
    Not just the lines either.
    The video's the same, too.
[21:18] Shinpachi
    Your lines are exactly the same
    as the ones from last year!
[21:21] Gintoki
    Well, you know...
[21:22] Gintoki
    They've been working
    hard on this anime.
[21:23] Gintoki
    But you know...
[21:24] Gintoki
    It's the end of the year and they're
    also working on the movie.
[21:28] Gintoki
    The staff's gotten used to slacking at
    a TV schedule the last four years.
[21:34] Gintoki
    It doesn't take long for them
    to run out of steam.
[21:36] Gintoki
    They're the type you expect
[21:37] Gintoki
    to start clutching their stomachs before they've
    even left the starting area of a marathon.
[21:40] Shinpachi
    Nobody wants to hear about
    whining behind the scenes.
[21:44] Gintoki
    Besides, this is why you usually
    have another team ready to go, right?
[21:47] Gintoki
    That's how all the other anime do it.
[21:49] Gintoki
    Well, come April, the movie will be complete
    and the TV series will end.
[21:54] Gintoki
    We can all rest easy.
[21:57] Kagura
    Not only can we rest easy,
    but we'll all be unemployed.
[22:01] Gintoki
    Yeah, we won't be able to laugh
    at Hasegawa-san anymore.
[22:04] Shinpachi
    Uh, wait...
[22:06] Shinpachi
    Did you just say that the
    TV series will end?
[22:08] Shinpachi
    The show's ending in April?
[22:10] Gintoki
    What are you saying, Pachi-boy?
[22:13] Gintoki
    Didn't we say that we were entering
    the final arc back in episode 125?
[22:16] Gintoki
    I only tell the truth.
[22:18] Gintoki
    Grown adults would never
    lie about ending a show...
[22:21] Shinpachi
    Hold on!
[22:22] Shinpachi
    Who would remember something
    you said a year ago?!
[22:26] Kagura
    Entering the final stage of the final arc.
[22:30] Gintoki
    And so, I'm sure that some of you were wondering
    about the number by the title this week.
[22:36] Gintoki
    I shall explain now!
[22:39] Kagura
    A countdown really began back
    when we said it would.
[22:43] Shinpachi
    Huh? Really?
[22:45] Gintoki
    Well, at one point, we realized that we miscounted,
    so we counted 19 twice to hide that fact.
[22:50] Shinpachi
    You just told everybody!
[22:52] Shinpachi
    Why is this final little gimmick
    still half-assed?!
[22:54] Kagura
    But this time, we're telling the
    truth about this show ending.
[22:58] Kagura
    The boy who cried wolf was
    telling the truth in the end.
[23:01] Kagura
    Though that was when he died.
[23:04] Gintoki
    And we only have a few numbers
    left in this new year.
[23:07] Gintoki
    But I don't really like having a movie
    right after the TV show ends.
[23:11] Gintoki
    Like how those recent TV dramas do it?
[23:14] Gintoki
    Air a wishy-washy final episode and go,
    "To be continued in the movie."
[23:19] Gintoki
    The TV show ends up feeling
    like a promotion for the movie.
[23:22] Gintoki
    That's insulting the viewers who've
    been watching every week!
[23:25] Gintoki
    I would never go see
    one of those movies!
[23:27] Gintoki
    You'd better not be fooled by
    these sneaky ticket sets!
[23:31] Shinpachi
    Wait!
[23:32] Shinpachi
    Why is that the only footage that's new?!
[23:33] Shinpachi
    And it has nothing to do with the movie!
[23:36] Gintoki
    Besides, movie previews these days
    are just a bunch of tempting scenes.
[23:41] Gintoki
    We're going to be playing a
    commercial right after this,
[23:43] Gintoki
    so you'd better not be fooled.
[23:45] Gintoki
    Yeah, something like this!
[23:48] Gintoki
    If you have time to plan
    out a pretty death,
SIGN    ["Witness the end of GinTama the anime..."]
[23:52] Gintoki
    why not live a pretty life to the very end?
SIGN    ["...on the big screen!!"]
[23:56] N
    GinTama the Movie.
[23:58] N
    Benizakura Arc: the New Interpretation
SIGN    ["Saturday, April 24th. It ends for real."]
[24:01] Shinpachi
    That's way too tempting!!
SIGN    
[24:08] Hijikata
    Why did he have to come now?
[24:12] Hijikata
    We're about to battle it out with
    the Anti-Foreigner Faction...
[24:14] Hijikata
    Why?
[24:15] Hijikata
    Why now, Tarzan...?!
SIGN    ["Whenever I hear the word "Leviathan", silly old me, I immediately think about Sazae-san!!"]
SIGN    [The staff went ahead and ate the tasty cha-han rice from the gag in this episode.]
SIGN    [The scent of the wakame in the cha-han was intense.]
SIGN    [See you next time.]