E171 - Part A “If You Keep Copying, They Will Retaliate” / Part B “A Loss Opens Your Eyes to the Love You Have”

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    [Unofficial Mobile Suit Gundam 30th Anniversary Special]
[02:03] Matsuda
    Commander.
[02:04] Nanba
    What is it?
[02:06] Matsuda
    Will this be our target?
[02:09] Nanba
    You've got it.
[02:10] Matsuda
    But how could such a house...
[02:14] Nanba
    You have no idea, do you?
[02:16] Matsuda
    Meaning...?
[02:17] Nanba
    The shabbier a house looks, the more
    money its owners have stashed away.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Ramba Ral's line in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[02:21] Matsuda
    Is that how it works?
[02:24] Matsuda
    This is such a drag.
[02:25] Matsuda
    Why Ramba Ral?
[02:27] Matsuda
    You're free to pretend
    to be someone else,
[02:28] Matsuda
    but don't drag me into it...
[02:30] Nanba
    Got a problem?
[02:32] Matsuda
    N-No...
[02:33] Nanba
    Then get to work!
[02:35] Nanba
    We'll finish this in five minutes!
[02:37] Matsuda
    Sir!
SIGN    ["You'll Get Sued If All You Do is Copy Others"]
[03:02] Matsuda
    Ouch...
[03:04] Matsuda
    Huh? Ral-sama?
[03:05] Matsuda
    I mean, Nanba-san?
[03:07] Matsuda
    Huh? That's weird...
[03:11] Matsuda
    Nanba-san...
[03:12] Nanba
    What was the meaning of that?!
[03:14] Nanba
    Don't underestimate the battlefield!
[03:15] Nanba
    You almost gave me a scare
    for a moment there!
[03:18] Matsuda
    This guy's shaking in his boots.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Jean's line in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[03:23] Nanba
    Wait, Clamp!
SIGN    [Note: Clamp is vice-chief in Ramba Ral's unit in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[03:27] Matsuda
    It's Matsuda...
[03:29] Nanba
    You're being too careless.
[03:30] Nanba
    If you don't shape up,
    you'll die in no time!
[03:32] Matsuda
    R-Right...
[03:33] Nanba
    Recite them!
[03:34] Matsuda
    Huh?
[03:35] Nanba
    I'm telling you to recite the
    three principles I taught you!
[03:38] Matsuda
    F-Forgive me...
[03:40] Matsuda
    Uh...
[03:41] Nanba
    First!
[03:42] Nanba
    Avoid contact with unnecessary
    objects, to leave a minimal trail!
[03:46] Nanba
    Second!
[03:48] Nanba
    Never touch anything that
    isn't worth any money!
[03:51] Nanba
    And last of all!
[03:53] Matsuda
    You must conceal your identity.
[03:56] Nanba
    That's right.
[03:57] Nanba
    I have been able to survive on this battlefield
    by following these three principles!
[04:02] Nanba
    Never forget them!
[04:05] Matsuda
    Sir!
[04:06] Matsuda
    Understood!
[04:07] Nanba
    That's good.
[04:09] Nanba
    Let's begin!
[04:15] Matsuda
    There we are...
[04:27] Nanba
    Wait, Acous!
SIGN    [Note: Acous is an officer in Ramba Ral's unit in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[04:29] Matsuda
    No, it's Matsuda.
[04:30] Nanba
    Somebody's coming!
[04:31] Nanba
    Hide!
[04:32] Tama
    Sakata-san.
[04:34] Matsuda
    Is the owner back?
[04:36] Nanba
    I'm not sure.
[04:38] Nanba
    But our only option right
    now is to wait and see.
[04:41] Tama
    Sakata-san!
[04:45] Tama
    Sakata-san?
[04:50] Tama
    Useless Sakata-san?
[05:00] Nanba
    Is the Federation mobile
    suit a m-monster?!
SIGN    [Note: Famous line by Char Aznable from the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[05:04] Matsuda
    Bring it on...
[05:05] Matsuda
    Even Lieutenant Commander Char...
SIGN    [Note: Char Aznable from the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[05:07] Tama
    I've come to collect the rent.
[05:19] Tama
    Four life forms detected.
[05:21] Tama
    However, it appears that
    Master Gintoki isn't here.
[05:24] Tama
    I shall return later.
[05:30] Nanba
    She escaped?
[05:32] Nanba
    Or should I say that she let us escape...
[05:35] Matsuda
    And yeah, this is a horrible mess.
[05:39] Nanba
    That woman...
[05:41] Matsuda
    Is something wrong?
[05:42] Nanba
    I'm bothered by what she just said.
[05:45] Matsuda
    Huh?
[05:46] Nanba
    She said there were four
    life forms in this room.
[05:50] Nanba
    Assuming that the first is... We can forget it.
[05:55] Matsuda
    The second would be Ral-sama.
[05:57] Matsuda
    The third would be myself.
[05:58] Nanba
    There's one extra!
[06:04] Matsuda
    What is this?
[06:06] Matsuda
    Is this the new Federation weapon?
SIGN    [Note: Parody of the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[06:09] Matsuda
    Since it's white...
SIGN    [Note: Gundam is also white.]
[06:11] Nanba
    It's a dog.
[06:12] Matsuda
    No, I realize that it's a
    dog, but its size is...
[06:16] Nanba
    Its size is not important right now!
[06:18] Matsuda
    No, it's pretty important.
[06:21] Nanba
    Don't worry.
[06:22] Nanba
    I prepared a little something
    for dealing with watchdogs.
[06:24] Nanba
    Here it is!
[06:25] Matsuda
    Th-That's...
[06:28] Nanba
    Come on, puppy.
[06:30] Nanba
    It's a yummy cracker.
[06:32] Nanba
    Now be a good boy...
[06:39] Nanba
    Cozun, you okay?
SIGN    [Note: Cozun is an officer in Ramba Ral's unit in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[06:42] Matsuda
    It's Matsuda...
[06:43] Matsuda
    And I'm definitely not okay...
[06:45] Nanba
    I was careless...
[06:47] Nanba
    I, Ramba Ral, forgot about the
    battle in the heat of battle...
[06:51] Matsuda
    Can we go home now?
[06:54] Hasegawa
    Hey, Gin-san!
[06:57] Hasegawa
    Gin-san, you here?
[06:59] Nanba
    Reinforcements?!
[07:00] Matsuda
    Please don't notice us...
[07:02] Hasegawa
    Gin-san...
[07:12] Nanba
    What? He's taking somebody else's food!
[07:19] Nanba
    I-Impossible!
[07:20] Nanba
    He's using someone else's
    house like it's his own?!
[07:31] Hasegawa
    Looks like Gin-san isn't here,
    so I'll leave for today.
[07:36] Nanba
    Can you believe it, Stetch?
SIGN    [Note: Stetch is a corporal in Ramba Ral's unit in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[07:38] Matsuda
    It's Matsuda.
[07:39] Nanba
    It would be difficult to imitate
    his hopelessness.
[07:42] Matsuda
    Uh, we've already broken two
    of your three principles.
[07:45] Matsuda
    Let's retreat...
[07:46] Katsura
    What are you doing here?
[07:49] Both
    No, we're...
SIGN    ["'Sup!"]
[07:51] Katsura
    I see.
[07:52] Katsura
    Is Gintoki around by any chance?
[07:54] Matsuda
    No, Gintoki-san isn't...
[07:56] Katsura
    I see.
[07:57] Katsura
    Then I have no choice...
[07:59] Matsuda
    We haven't said anything yet!
[08:01] Katsura
    Incidentally...
[08:03] Katsura
    Who are you people?
[08:05] Nanba
    Uh, well...
[08:07] Katsura
    Wait, I've seen your faces before.
[08:11] Nanba
    What are you talking about?
[08:12] Nanba
    It must be your imagination.
[08:15] Katsura
    That voice...
SIGN    [Call the police if you see these faces!]
[08:25] Nanba
    Hmm? Is there something on my face?
[08:27] Matsuda
    It's just your imagination.
[08:32] Katsura
    That's it! I know!
[08:36] Katsura
    That voice is definitely...
[08:39] Katsura
    Mi**** Mouse!
SIGN    [Note: Parody of "Mickey". Disney strictly enforces copyright laws in Japan as well.]
[08:43] Katsura
    Or his voice.
[08:45] Katsura
    And that one is Dold.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of "Donald Duck". Disney strictly enforces copyright laws in Japan as well.]
[08:48] Matsuda**
    There are so many things
    I could say in return!
[08:50] Matsuda
    This is no good, Ral-sama!
[08:51] Matsuda
    I can see time itself!
SIGN    [Note: Parody of a famous line by Lalah Sune from the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[08:52] Nanba
    Ignore him, Zeygan.
SIGN    [Note: Zeygan is a member in Ramba Ral's unit in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[08:54] Matsuda
    It's Matsuda.
[08:55] Nanba
    He's living in a dream land.
[08:56] Nanba
    We will carry out our mission with
    our bare hands if we must!
[09:00] Katsura
    I'm Kotaro Katsura!
[09:01] Katsura
    Nice to meetcha!
[09:03] Matsuda
    It's no good.
[09:04] Matsuda
    He's already got his mind set.
[09:05] Matsuda
    A real screwball.
SIGN    
[09:06] Katsura
    key and friends...
[09:09] Katsura*
    Just the thought is lifting my spirits.
[09:12] Matsuda
    What's wrong with this house?
[09:14] Matsuda
    Only freaks are showing up.
[09:17] Nanba
    You don't say...
[09:18] Nanba
    Times have changed.
[09:20] Nanba
    These people are beyond
    our comprehension...
[09:23] Nanba
    A tough bunch...
[09:24] Nanba
    However...
[09:25] Nanba
    I like you, kid.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Ramba Ral's line in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[09:27] Nanba
    You're able to speak your mind.
[09:30] Katsura
    What? Don't tell me...
[09:31] Nanba
    Yes, why don't you join us?
[09:35] Katsura
    Are you serious?
[09:37] Nanba
    We happen to be short on hands.
[09:38] Katsura
    I am so grateful!
[09:40] Katsura
    Then let us...
[09:41] Gintoki
    Yeah, what are you people doing
    in my house without permission?
[09:44] Nanba
    Eek!
SIGN    ["Welcome home."]
[09:47] Katsura
    Gintoki, great timing!
[09:49] Katsura
    Guess what?
[09:50] Gintoki
    And who are those guys?
[09:58] Nanba
    We've been one-upped, Hamon.
SIGN    [Note: From "Crowley Hamon", an aide and lover to Ramba Ral in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[10:00] Matsuda
    It's Matsuda.
[10:02] Nanba
    You've got good eyes.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Ramba Ral's line in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[10:03] Gintoki
    Uh, people usually tell me that
    I have the eyes of a dead fish.
[10:06] Nanba
    And you've got guts.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Ramba Ral's line in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[10:08] Nanba
    I really like you.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Ramba Ral's line in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[10:09] Gintoki
    Uh, I have no idea what you're
    talking about now.
[10:11] Matsuda
    That's Ral-sama for you.
[10:13] Matsuda
    He's changing the subject without actually saying
    anything so he can confuse us!
[10:18] Nanba
    Your name's Gintoki, I believe?
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Ramba Ral's line in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[10:20] Nanba
    I'll be imposing.
[10:21] Nanba
    I'm sure you can support it.
[10:24] Sacchan
    Gin-san! Those people are burglars!
[10:37] Nanba
    Well done, boy.
[10:38] Nanba
    But you didn't win on your own.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of Ramba Ral's line in the anime series "Mobile Suit Gundam".]
[10:41] Nanba
    You won thanks to that stalker of yours...
[10:47] Gintoki
    Everybody get the hell out!
[10:51] Katsura
    Mi**** !
[10:56] Gintoki
    Huh? Who?
[11:15] Gintoki*
    Shut up, baldie!
[11:21] Gintoki
    I definitely drank too much...
[11:24] Gintoki
    My head's killing me...
[11:31] Gintoki
    Fine. I'll wake up.
[11:33] Gintoki
    I get it.
[11:37] Gintoki
    I'll take a bath to get the alcohol
    out of my system.
[11:56] Gintoki
    I feel so much better...
[11:59] Gintoki
    Huh?
[12:02] Gintoki
    Uh, what? What?
[12:04] Gintoki
    No, no way.
[12:05] Gintoki
    No way at all.
[12:06] Gintoki
    I have more hair than
    the average person.
[12:08] Gintoki
    I've got curly hair, so this
    could never happen.
[12:10] Gintoki
    I have so much hair that I ask
    the barber to thin it for me.
[12:13] Gintoki
    Must be my imagination.
[12:14] Gintoki
    It's possible that I was pulling out my
    hair when I was drunk last night...
[12:18] Gintoki
    Wha... Wha...
[12:21] Gintoki
    Wha...
[12:23] Gintoki
    What the hell?!
SIGN    ["You Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone"]
[12:35] Gintoki
    Something's funny here.
    What's going on here?!
[12:37] Gintoki
    Definitely not right here.
    What the hell is this here?!
[12:41] Kagura
    Enough with the here hear hair!
[12:42] Kagura
    Is that some kind of That That scam?
SIGN    
[12:44] Gintoki
    Ah, Kagura-chan.
[12:45] Gintoki
    This here is weird. This here is bad!
[12:47] Gintoki
    Here, here, here!
[12:48] Kagura
    What's here?
[12:50] Gintoki
    Right here!
[12:53] Gintoki
    Huh? Kagura-chan?
[12:54] Gintoki
    Your head...
[12:55] Kagura
    What are you talking about?
[12:57] Gintoki
    I mean, your hair...
[12:59] Kagura
    I know, I'm standing right here.
[13:02] Gintoki
    What the hell?!
[13:03] Gintoki
    Those buns were hiding
    such a horrific secret?!
[13:05] Kagura
    They fell off the other morning.
[13:08] Kagura
    Now, I can just clip them on.
[13:10] Gintoki
    No, that's not what I meant...
[13:12] Gintoki
    That must be from your dad.
[13:14] Gintoki
    You know, that patch that.
[13:15] Kagura
    Now you've switched to the that dat that.
SIGN    [Note: Parody of "Ore Ore scam".]
[13:17] Kagura
    Is that a different scam?
[13:18] Gintoki
    No, I'm talking about your genes.
[13:20] Gintoki
    Shouldn't that there have something
    to do with your dad there?
[13:23] Kagura
    Good grief.
[13:24] Kagura
    Now you've switched to
    the that there bare.
[13:25] Kagura
    The that there scam?
[13:27] Kagura
    You can't fool this old lady by
    changing a few words around!
[13:30] Gintoki
    This isn't a scam!
[13:33] Kagura
    Keep pretending to be my son.
[13:35] Kagura
    But this mother knows the truth!
[13:37] Kagura
    You damn imposter!
[13:38] Kagura
    Reveal your true identity!
[13:40] Gintoki
    Stop it!
[13:40] Gintoki
    Now is the wrong time! Seriously! Stop!
[13:43] Shinpachi
    Good morning.
[13:45] Gintoki
    Shinpachi! Perfect timing!
[13:46] Shinpachi
    What's going on at such an early hour?
[13:48] Gintoki
    Yeah, there's a big problem.
[13:50] Gintoki
    Me and Kagura's hair...
[13:51] Gintoki
    Ow...
[13:52] Shinpachi
    What's that?
[13:53] Shinpachi
    You and Kagura-chan are here.
[13:55] Gintoki
    That's not what I mean!
[13:57] Gintoki
    I'm losing my hair!
[13:58] Shinpachi
    What?
[13:59] Shinpachi
    You're losing your hearing?
[14:01] Gintoki
    Yeah, somebody's definitely
    losing their hearing...
[14:04] Kagura
    You're pretending to lose
    your hearing now?!
[14:06] Kagura
    You're going to scam medical
    expenses from us!
[14:08] Gintoki
    Goddamn it!
[14:09] Gintoki
    Cut it out already!
[14:10] Kagura
    You can threaten me all you want!
    This mom won't send any money!
[14:12] Shinpachi
    Just calm down, you two.
[14:14] Shinpachi
    I'll go make some tea.
[14:18] Gintoki
    Uh, Shinpachi-kun?
[14:21] Shinpachi
    Yes?
[14:24] Shinpachi
    What's wrong, Gin-san?
[14:28] Shinpachi
    What, Kagura-chan?
[14:31] Shinpachi
    Wha...?!
[14:33] Shinpachi
    Wha... Wha...
[14:36] Shinpachi
    What the hell?!
[14:45] Gintoki
    And there you have it.
[14:47] Gintoki
    So we're holding an emergency
    Odd Jobs meeting.
[14:51] Gintoki
    If anyone knows of a good solution to deal
    with the current situation, please speak up.
[14:56] Shinpachi
    Yes!
[14:57] Gintoki
    Okay, Shinpachi-kun.
[14:58] Shinpachi
    Something's wrong here!
[15:00] Shinpachi
    How could we all go bald together...
[15:03] Shinpachi
    There must be a reason for this?
[15:05] Gintoki
    Yes, you.
[15:06] Gintoki
    Don't use any words that directly
    refer to the condition.
[15:09] Gintoki
    This is a delicate issue.
[15:11] Gintoki
    Try to be more subtle.
[15:14] Shinpachi
    Okay...
[15:15] Shinpachi
    There must a reason for this.
[15:17] Shinpachi
    We should start by looking
    for the cause...
[15:18] Gintoki
    Yep, denied.
[15:20] Shinpachi
    Why?
[15:21] Gintoki
    We can figure that out later.
[15:24] Gintoki
    There is one thing we must do right now!
[15:28] Gintoki
    Defend the final line of defense at all costs
    while pushing back, inch by inch!
[15:32] Kagura
    Ooh! Ooh!
[15:34] Kagura
    Gin-chan! Leave it to me!
[15:41] Gintoki
    Is this the time to be laughing
    at other people?!
[15:43] Gintoki
    Didn't you look in the mirror?!
[15:44] Gintoki
    You look like Buffaloman
    without the horns!
SIGN    [Note: One of the characters from Kinnikuman (Ultimate Muscle)]
[15:46] Kagura
    And you look like a half-assed Atlantis!
SIGN    [Note: One of the characters from Kinnikuman (Ultimate Muscle)]
[15:50] Gintoki
    That's fine!
[15:51] Gintoki
    Atlantis is way stronger
    than Robin Mask!
SIGN    [Note: One of the characters from Kinnikuman (Ultimate Muscle)]
SIGN    [Note: Akuma Choujin are a group of characters from Kinnikuman (Ultimate Muscle)]
[15:55] Kagura
    Buffaloman is the only Akuma Choujin
    that isn't a side character!
[15:59] Gintoki
    Hey, should you really be saying that?
[16:01] Gintoki
    If you keep it up, I'm going
    to launch these pom-poms!
SIGN    [Note: Shinobazu Pond is a pond located in Ueno Park in Tokyo.]
[16:04] Gintoki
    Launch these buns into Shinobazu Pond.
[16:07] Kagura
    Stop that!
[16:09] Shinpachi
    Why are the two of you fighting
    amongst yourselves?!
[16:12] Shinpachi
    And leave the Akuma Choujin out of this!
[16:14] Shinpachi
    Weren't we going to work together
    to find a solution?!
[16:17] Kagura
    What's that, Patchy?
[16:18] Kagura
    Do you have a good idea, Patchy?
[16:22] Shinpachi
    Stop calling me Patchy!
[16:24] Shinpachi
    It hurts my feelings!
[16:28] Kagura
    What's this?
[16:30] Gintoki
    One of the great tools of our civilization
    that your father probably used as well.
[16:33] Shinpachi
    A scalp massage brush.
[16:35] Shinpachi
    It stimulates the scalp to
    increase hair growth.
[16:38] Gintoki
    We'll slowly tap our hair back.
[16:40] Gintoki
    Let's give it a go.
[16:42] All
    Ready and...
[17:19] All
    We're tapping our hair away!
[17:21] Gintoki
    What the hell is this?!
[17:22] Gintoki
    The impact from each tap is
    making more hair fall out!
[17:24] Gintoki
    This isn't stimulation!
[17:25] Gintoki
    This isn't hair growth!
[17:27] Shinpachi
    This is bad.
[17:30] Shinpachi
    At this rate...
SIGN    [Pause]
[17:34] Shinpachi
    We'll end up like this...
[17:37] Shinpachi
    Isn't that bad for the main character
    of a JUMP anime series?
[17:40] Kagura
    Your hair makes you look
    like a side character.
[17:43] Kagura
    We're all going to end up
    like Krillin soon enough!
SIGN    [Note: Bald headed character from Dragon Ball.]
[17:46] Kagura
    There's no future for an anime where you can't distinguish
    between characters by their silhouettes.
[17:50] Gintoki
    No, it might be considered original.
[17:52] Gintoki
    An anime where everybody
    has the same hairstyle.
[17:54] Shinpachi
    No, you can't have a show
    where everybody's Krillin.
[17:57] Kagura
    You might want to get off
    your high horse there.
[17:59] Kagura
    Considering how you're in the Krillin
    position, thinning Patchy!
[18:03] Shinpachi
    What's wrong with Krillin?!
[18:05] Shinpachi
    He can use the Destructo Disk!
SIGN    [Note: Krillin's technique.]
[18:07] Shinpachi
    Vegeta was so worried that he yelled
    at Nappa to get out of the way!
SIGN    [Note: Vegeta and Nappa are both characters from Dragon Ball.]
[18:10] Kagura
    Calm down, Madallin.
SIGN    [Note: Madara (Patchy)+ Krillin]
[18:12] Shinpachi
    What's with that half-assed name?!
[18:15] Kagura
    That's why it's perfect for Shinpachi.
[18:17] Shinpachi
    You're really... You're really
    hurting my feelings...
[18:17] Gintoki
    It doesn't matter if this
    happens to Shinpachi, but,
[18:20] Gintoki
    you wouldn't want Krillin as Gin-san, the lead.
[18:23] Gintoki
    Hey, Kagura.
[18:23] Gintoki
    Think of something.
[18:27] Shinpachi
    Just forget it!
[18:29] Shinpachi
    Let's all go bald together!
[18:31] Shinpachi
    You'll be free to choose
    your own hairstyle then!
[18:34] Kagura
    What do you mean?
[18:36] Shinpachi
    That should be obvious.
[18:38] Shinpachi
    You just have to wear it.
SIGN    [Pause]
[18:47] Gintoki
    Like this?
[18:48] Shinpachi
    Uh, there are so many issues
    I could point out...
[18:51] Shinpachi
    But yeah, something like that.
[18:52] Kagura
    Me too, then!
SIGN    ["Katsura" (also means "Wig")]
[18:58] Kagura
    Woo-hoo!
SIGN    [Pause]
[18:59] Kagura
    I look so cute!
[19:00] Shinpachi
    Uh, you people aren't even taking your
    characters into consideration, are you?
[19:04] Kagura
    Zip it.
[19:08] Shinpachi
    Huh?
SIGN    [Pause]
[19:10] Shinpachi
    Hold on!
[19:11] Shinpachi
    Why am I the only one stuck with
    that Ultimate Muscle crap?!
[19:14] Gintoki
    Weak. Too weak.
[19:16] Gintoki
    Wigs don't come that cheap.
[19:19] Kagura
    Huh?
[19:20] Gintoki
    It costs over 500,000 yen to
    get one custom-made,
[19:23] Gintoki
    and requires constant maintenance.
[19:25] Gintoki
    And there are examples like O****-san, Kimi****, and
    Pan*** whose wigs can be spotted a mile away.
SIGN    
[19:31] Kagura
    Really?
[19:31] Kagura
    That's setting the bar high.
[19:33] Shinpachi
    Wait!
[19:34] Shinpachi
    We have to do something
    about this hair now!
[19:37] Shinpachi
    If we let it grow in a spiral
    like this for three years...
[19:41] Kagura
    You're so greedy.
[19:42] Kagura
    Don't get so worked up about showing
    off what little hair you have left.
[19:46] Kagura
    This granny hates rotten people like you!
[19:50] Kagura
    Kids should shut up and get a buzz cut!
[19:53] Kagura
    You go first, Madaluxe!
SIGN    [Note: Patchy + Luxe(hair styling line)]
[19:55] Gintoki
    Calm down, Kagura!
[19:56] Shinpachi
    Please stop!
[19:58] Gintoki
    Patchy is better than nothing at all!
[20:00] Gintoki
    The less you have, the
    more precious it feels!
[20:02] Kagura
    Then I'll start with Gin-chan!
[20:10] Gintoki
    Don't mess with me!
[20:12] Gintoki
    You just broke through my
    final line of defense!
[20:15] Gintoki
    I'll turn you into a patchy too!
[20:17] Kagura
    Do it if you can!
[20:20] Kagura
    If you do that to the heroine,
[20:21] Kagura
    the show will have to be canceled!
[20:23] Gintoki
    Who are you calling the heroine?!
[20:25] Gintoki
    I'll turn you into a mascot like Sento-kun!
SIGN    [Note: Sento-kun is mascot character of a special event in Nara, Japan in 2010.]
[20:28] Kagura
    You can cover your head with curry!
SIGN    [Note: Curry Cook, one of the characters from Kinnikuman, has curry on his head.]
[20:30] Gintoki
    Gotcha!
[20:32] Gintoki
    What kind of hair would
    you like today, miss?
[20:35] Shinpachi
    Hey! Guys! Stop it!
[20:37] Both
    Zip it, Madallin!
[20:39] Shinpachi
    Why was that line in unison?!
[20:41] Both
    We're taking you with us!
[20:49] Otose
    Enough of that.
[20:52] Gintoki
    Granny.
[20:53] Otose
    Honestly...
[20:54] Otose
    I knew this would happen.
[20:57] Otose
    Tama.
[20:58] Tama
    Yes.
[21:00] Kusano
    We have a report from the scene.
[21:02] Kusano
    Ana Ketsuno! Ana Ketsuno!
[21:05] Ketsuno
    Yes, this is Ketsuno reporting
    live from the scene.
[21:07] Ketsuno
    The sudden outbreak of hair loss in the
    Kabuki District has been resolved.
[21:14] Ketsuno
    The cause was a virus brought by
    an Amanto from Planet Namihei.
SIGN    [Note: Namihei is a character from Sazae-san. He only has one hair on his head.]
[21:19] Ketsuno
    The Bakufu is distributing a special
    cure after identifying the virus.
[21:25] Shinpachi
    Gin-san!
[21:25] Gintoki
    Okay! Let's go to the hospital!
[21:27] Ketsuno
    As you can see, an extremely long
    line has formed for the cure.
[21:32] Ketsuno
    However, the Bakufu has announced
    that their supply will soon run out,
[21:37] Ketsuno
    and they will need three months to produce
    enough for everybody infected.
[21:42] Shinpachi
    Gin-san! What do we do?!
[21:44] Gintoki
    Three months with this head...
[21:48] Gintoki
    Means we'll see this.
[21:50] Kagura
    This show will turn into a crappy
    anime without a heroine.
[21:54] Otose
    Hey.
[21:57] Catherine
    Can't you see this?!
SIGN    [Heal (parody of RPGs)]
[22:00] Gintoki
    Oh? Could it be?
[22:01] Otose
    I asked a doctor I happen to know.
[22:04] Catherine
    If you want this, get down on your knees.
[22:07] Catherine
    And from now on, you better
    call me Catherine-sama...
[22:09] Gintoki
    Hey.
[22:12] Gintoki
    I'll be cured if I drink that, right?
[22:14] Catherine
    Meow!
[22:15] All
    Hand it over!
[22:28] Kagura
    Sadaharu!
[22:29] Gintoki
    Wait! Hold on! You...
SIGN    ["Let's Employ 'Candy or the Whip'"]
[24:15] Okita
    Interrogation?
[24:17] Okita
    I like it.
[24:18] Okita
    Really brings out my sadistic side.
SIGN    [Prisoner #3-2034, Kohei Tanaka]
SIGN    
SIGN    [See you next time.]