E216 - I Can't Remember a Damn Thing About the Factory Tour

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[01:31] Gin
    What? A tour?
[01:33] Kagura
    My friend, Satsuki-chan,
[01:35] Kagura
    asked for an educational tour of
[01:36] ---
    Odd Jobs to fulfill an assignment.
[01:38] Gin
    Stop offering to do stuff
    that's a pain in the ass.
[01:42] Shin
    If she wants to see us at work,
[01:44] ---
    we don't have any jobs today.
[01:45] Gin
    We haven't had any jobs in forever.
[01:48] Shin
    We don't want to ruin
[01:49] ---
    the hopes and dreams of young children.
[01:53] Kagura
    No!
[01:54] Kagura
    I want to show them how great
    Odd Jobs Kagura-chan is!
[01:56] Kagura
    Do something about it, scumbags!
[01:58] Gin
    Stop tacking on random insults.
[02:01] Kagura
    She's here!
[02:02] Kagura
    You guys better act like grown-ups.
[02:05] Kagura
    Don't do anything weird!
[02:07] Kagura
    Welcome, Satsuki-chan!
[02:09] Satsuki
    Sorry, Kagura-chan.
[02:11] ---
    I'm sure that you're busy.
[02:13] Kids
    Thank you!
SIGN    I Can't Remember a Damn
    Thing About the Factory Tour
[02:20] Kagura
    This is our strategist/Supreme
[02:21] ---
    Commander of Eastern Operations,
    Strategos Shimura.
[02:24] Shin
    Supreme Commander of
    Eastern Operations?!
[02:25] Kagura
    Shut up and follow my lead.
[02:28] Kagura
    Just say stuff that sounds cool.
[02:30] Satsuki
    Wow, Supreme Commander
    of Eastern Operations...
[02:33] Satsuki
    Um, what kind of work
    do you do at Odd Jobs?
[02:37] Shin
    O-Our president will explain that,
[02:39] ---
    so come on inside.
[02:41] Kagura
    President, the kids are
    here for their tour.
[02:45] ---
    May we come in?
[02:53] Shin
    He's turned the room into
    a workshop or something...
[02:57] Shin
    Uh, President?
[02:58] Gin
    Bah, it's no use.
[02:59] Gin
    The naked refuses to
    jack in to the solid.
[03:02] Shin
    U-Uh, President...
[03:04] Gin
    Could you shut the door?
[03:06] Gin
    If you let the heat escape,
[03:07] ---
    my Patriot will cool down and harden.
[03:09] Satsuki
    Oh, s-sorry!
[03:11] Shin
    What's a Patriot supposed to be?
[03:13] Shin
    I have no idea what's going on,
[03:13] ---
    but the president sounds
    like a real craftsman.
[03:15] Satsuki
    Um, we're here to see you at work.
[03:18] Gin
    Do you prefer Calcutta or Meso Gear?
[03:21] Satsuki
    Huh?
[03:21] Gin
    If you're here, you must prefer one.
[03:26] Shin
    Ignore them.
[03:27] Shin
    Ignore their pleas for help.
[03:30] Satsuki
    I-I like Calcutta.
[03:32] A
    M-Me too.
[03:33] Shin
    They randomly chose one!
[03:33] B
    Me too.
[03:33] Shin
    They randomly chose Calcutta!
[03:35] Gin
    I see, you choose Calcutta.
[03:37] Gin
    Hmph, how precocious of you.
[03:40] Gin
    Here.
[03:41] Gin
    Calcutta should be
    enjoyed while it's hot.
[03:43] Satsuki
    Th-Thank you very much!
[03:44] A
    This is Calcutta?
[03:46] B
    It looks like coffee.
[03:47] Shin
    Why didn't you just ask them
    if they liked coffee or not?!
[03:49] Shin
    You're pissing me off!
[03:51] Gin
    I once tried to be
    brave and try Calcutta.
[03:55] Gin
    But now I'm a devout fan of Meso Gear.
SIGN    Edo Strawberry Milk
[03:57] Gin
    I believe that my
    dedication to Meso Gear
[03:59] ---
    was a product of that bitter experience.
[04:01] Shin
    He's throwing together
    a bunch of fancy phrases
[04:03] ---
    to say absolutely nothing at all!
[04:04] A
    Can we get started?
[04:06] A
    What do you Odd Jobs people even do?
[04:10] Gin
    Well, it's quite difficult
    to explain what we do.
[04:13] Gin
    You could say that we are
    essentially a secret society
[04:15] Gin
    involved in the production
    and sale of this Patriot.
[04:18] Shin
    That would make us Patriot salesmen!
[04:20] A
    What is this Pastry...
[04:21] Gin
    Patriot.
[04:22] A
    What is this Patriot used for?
[04:27] Gin
    Don't make me laugh.
[04:30] Gin
    What is a Patriot used for, Kagura-kun?
[04:33] Kagura
    Kids say the darndest
    things, right, President?
[04:37] Shin
    What's with them?
[04:38] Shin
    They're pissing me off!
[04:39] Gin
    Let me ask you this then.
[04:41] Gin
    What's that below your nose?
[04:44] Gin
    Every person has a peculiar indentation
[04:47] ---
    between their nose and mouth.
[04:48] Gin
    What is that used for?
[04:51] A
    I-I don't know...
[04:53] Gin
    Of course.
[04:54] Gin
    Now, back to the Patriot.
[04:57] Gin
    It's pretty much like that.
[04:58] Shin
    So you don't know either?!
[05:00] Gin
    Whether it's the indentation
    below your nose
[05:02] Gin
    or the built-in microphone on the
[05:04] ---
    Famicom's second player controller,
[05:06] Gin
    there are many things in this
    world that make no sense.
[05:08] Gin
    However, humans are meant
    to eat, poop, and sleep.
[05:11] Gin
    Everything else we do is useless.
[05:14] Gin
    Our creations fall into that category.
[05:17] Shin
    So after making a pompous speech,
[05:19] ---
    all you're saying is that we make junk!
[05:21] Daigoro
    Okay.
[05:23] Daigoro
    So you do useless work
    making useless stuff?
[05:28] Gin
    It seems that you didn't
    understand what I was saying.
[05:30] Gin
    My point was that useless can
    be valuable in its own way.
[05:33] Daigoro
    Yeah, but...
[05:34] DaigorO
    If all Odd Jobs does
    is make useless stuff,
[05:37] Daigoro
    doesn't that mean the
    members are also useless?
[05:41] Shin
    What's with this kid?
[05:42] Satsuki
    That's not nice, Daigoro-kun.
[05:43] Daigoro
    Satsuki-chan, we can call off the tour.
[05:47] Daigoro
    It's clear that these Odd Jobs people
[05:49] ---
    do useless work that
    doesn't help society.
[05:51] Shin
    Wait a moment!
[05:52] Kagura
    While the Patriot may look
    useless, it is, in fact,
[05:55] Kagura
    a multimedia product which can be
[05:56] ---
    used in a number of useless games.
[05:58] Daigoro
    Oh? Really?
[06:00] Daigoro
    What kind of games are
    you talking about?
[06:01] Kagura
    For example...
[06:03] Kagura
    You can use the Patriot missile to whack
[06:04] ---
    the head of someone who pisses you off.
[06:06] Shin
    You don't need the Patriot to do that!
[06:09] Daigoro
    I knew it.
[06:11] Daigoro
    I can't believe that people actually
[06:13] ---
    pay you scum to make this trash.
[06:16] Shin
    Daigoro-kun?!
[06:17] Shin
    You sound like a different person
    after the beating to your head!
[06:20] Daigoro
    Satsuki, I'm going home.
[06:21] Daigoro
    I've had enough.
[06:23] Satsuki
    Daigoro-kun!
[06:24] Gin
    Wait, boy.
[06:25] Gin
    You didn't drink your Calcutta...
[06:26] Daigoro
    Sorry, Mr. President.
[06:27] Daigoro
    I don't like Calcutta or Meso Gear.
[06:30] Daigoro
    I go for Bourbon.
[06:31] Shin
    That's pretty hard-boiled!
[06:33] Shin
    What's with this kid?!
[06:34] Daigoro
    I'll need to work hard to find
[06:36] ---
    a real job so I don't
    end up like you slobs.
[06:38] Daigoro
    Thanks for showing me what it's like
[06:40] ---
    at the bottom of society, Odd Jobs.
[06:46] Shin
    Cheer up, Gin-san.
[06:49] Shin
    A child wouldn't be able to understand
[06:51] ---
    how incredible Odd Jobs truly is.
[06:52] Kagura
    The other kids said they had fun.
[06:55] Kagura
    Though they tossed the Patriots
    we gave them as souvenirs.
[06:59] Gin
    I started this business from scratch,
[07:03] ---
    and I kind of like it.
[07:06] Gin
    But I guess kids aren't impressed...
[07:07] Shin
    Th-That's not true!
[07:09] Gin
    Okay, tell me this then.
[07:11] Gin
    What can this be used for?
[07:15] Gin
    Can't think of anything, right?!
[07:16] Gin
    'Course you can't!
[07:17] Gin
    I can't either!
[07:19] Gin
    I'm no different from
    this piece of junk!
[07:21] Gin
    Odd Jobs is trash!
[07:22] Gin
    We do work that doesn't mean
    a damn thing to society!
[07:27] Shin
    He's completely snapped.
[07:29] Shin
    It must have been a big shock to him.
[07:32] Shin
    Huh? Isn't that Hijikata-san?
[07:34] Hijikata
    We patrol the streets to
    make sure there aren't any
[07:37] ---
    bad people doing bad things.
[07:38] Hijikata
    That's the most essential
    job of a policeman.
[07:41] A
    Ooh!
[07:42] Hijikata
    What is it?
[07:43] A
    Who would be a bad person?
[07:46] Hijikata
    Anyone who breaks the law.
[07:49] A
    So the law is always good?
[07:52] Hijikata
    In most cases, the law
    can be considered good...
[07:54] A
    I have a question then!
[07:55] A
    You aren't allowed to drop down from
    a train platform to the tracks,
[07:58] A
    but what if someone jumps down
[07:59] ---
    to save a drunk who
    happened to fall down?!
[08:02] A
    Would someone who stays on the platform
[08:03] ---
    as the drunk dies be considered good?!
[08:05] Hijikata
    You take those situations case by case.
[08:07] A
    A law that's always changing
    can't be considered a proper law!
[08:12] Hijikata
    I didn't word that right.
[08:14] Hijikata
    A person who makes trouble
    for others is a bad person.
[08:17] Hijikata
    The law doesn't matter.
[08:18] Shin
    He just threw out the law!
[08:19] Shin
    He got sick of trying
    and threw out the law!
[08:21] A
    By that logic, you would
    be a criminal for exposing
[08:24] ---
    us to second-hand smoke!
[08:26] Hijikata
    I'm sorry! Too much smoke for you?!
[08:28] Hijikata
    Please forgive me! Please forgive me!
[08:30] Shin
    This is bad!
[08:31] Shin
    He's about to lose it!
[08:31] Shin
    He's about to turn into a criminal!
[08:33] A
    Could you explain how much
    trouble a person must cause
[08:35] A
    to be considered a criminal?
[08:37] A
    For example...
[08:38] A
    We have an individual getting
    the snot knocked out of him
[08:40] A
    by the woman he keeps stalking.
[08:42] A
    Which one is the criminal?
[08:45] Hijikata
    Uh...
[08:46] Hijikata
    I was just joking.
[08:48] Hijikata
    In reality, policemen are...
[08:51] Hijikata
    ...people involved in the production
    and sale of this Patriot.
[08:54] Shin
    He threw out everything and
    became a Patriot salesman!
[08:56] Shin
    What's going on?!
[08:57] Shin
    Is this a new fad?!
[08:58] C
    Pathetic.
[08:59] C
    You switch jobs when
    the going gets tough?
[09:01] F
    Guess they weren't lying
    when they said the police
[09:03] ---
    in Japan were going to hell.
[09:06] Shin
    Now it's Hijikata-san's turn to lose it.
[09:07] Kagura
    I didn't realize you could
    use the Patriot that way.
[09:10] Tsukuyo
    Stop this foolishness.
[09:12] Shin
    Tsukuyo-san?
[09:13] A
    Please, lady!
[09:15] A
    We want to learn more about
[09:16] ---
    the people who work in Yoshiwara!
[09:18] Tsukuyo
    And I told you to come
    back in a hundred years.
[09:21] Sa
    Ooh!
[09:22] Sa
    Could you at least teach us how to
[09:25] ---
    whip a man in a way
    that brings pleasure?
[09:27] Shin
    There's a very familiar
    freak mixed in there!
[09:31] Tsukuyo
    Now, that's the last
    thing I would teach you.
[09:34] Sa
    I'm in a relationship
    with this guy right now.
[09:36] Sa
    So you'll take responsibility
[09:38] ---
    if something goes wrong
    when the time comes?
[09:40] Shin
    Nothing will go wrong!
[09:41] Shin
    It's all in your head!
[09:43] Tsukuyo
    I guess it'll be too late
    if something goes wrong.
[09:46] Tsukuyo
    Well, it's probably a good idea
[09:48] ---
    to learn the general basics now.
[09:50] Tsukuyo
    Allow me to explain then.
[09:52] Tsukuyo
    If this is that, and this
    is where you do that...
[09:54] Shin
    What are you doing with that Patriot?!
[09:58] C
    That's what girls are like?!
[10:01] Tsukuyo
    I was trying to give them a simple
    explanation without revealing anything...
[10:04] Sa
    Stop playing dumb!
[10:05] Sa
    Teach me the secret
    techniques of Yoshiwara!
[10:07] Kondo
    Well, as you can see, our job isn't
[10:10] ---
    always a walk in the park.
[10:12] Kondo
    However, we never give up.
[10:14] Kondo
    Believe in a better tomorrow
    and stay on the trail.
[10:16] Kondo
    That's how you become a stalker.
[10:17] Shin
    That's not a job!
[10:19] E
    Oh!
[10:19] Kondo
    Yes, what is it?
[10:21] E
    Do you ever want to die?
[10:23] Shin
    What kind of question is that?!
[10:25] Kondo
    A very good question.
[10:26] Shin
    It's not a good question!
[10:28] Kondo
    A job is supposed to be painful.
[10:32] Kondo
    In that case, you should look
    for pain that you can enjoy.
[10:35] Shin
    How can you say that while
    pretending to be a professional?!
[10:37] Madao
    That is naive!
[10:41] Madao
    There are many people with
    jobs they absolutely hate!
[10:45] Madao
    Society needs these people to function!
[10:48] Madao
    Look at me!
[10:50] Madao
    You think I want to be a Patriot?!
[10:53] Shin
    Hey!
[10:54] Shin
    I seriously have no idea what
    a Patriot is supposed to be!
[10:56] Madao
    But I don't have a choice!
[10:58] Madao
    If I don't do this, who will?!
[11:00] Madao
    This world needs Patriots!
[11:03] Shin
    The hell it does!
[11:04] Kondo
    The people who always blame others...
[11:07] Kondo
    ...can never have a better life.
[11:09] Madao
    How would you...
[11:10] Madao
    How would you know how it
    feels to be a Patriot?!
[11:13] Kondo
    I know.
[11:14] Madao
    Huh?
[11:15] Kondo
    After all... After all...
[11:18] Kondo
    I'm working two jobs as
    both a Patriot and a stalker!
[11:21] Shin
    That just means you fail at life!
[11:26] Madao
    Y-You too?
[11:28] Kondo
    Yeah, you don't have to
    bear the burden alone.
[11:31] Kondo
    Ask me for help.
[11:35] Madao
    Th-Thank you.
[11:38] E
    Uh, excuse me.
[11:41] E
    So what's a Patriot?
[11:45] Both
    No idea.
[11:52] Shin
    What are you people doing?
[11:54] Shin
    You grown-ups let a bunch
    of kids bully you around.
[12:00] Shin
    It's the job of a grown-up to
    teach kids what's important.
[12:05] Shin
    We can't let their tour end like this.
[12:11] Mom
    Daigoro, there's a letter for you.
[12:14] Daigoro
    Letter?
SIGN    Invitation to an educational tour of a Patriot factory.
[12:19] Daigoro
    What's this?
[12:22] A
    Daigoro!
[12:24] A
    You received an invitation too?
[12:26] Daigoro
    Oh, you guys also got one?
SIGN    Invitation to an educational tour of a Patriot factory.
[12:28] E
    I was gonna ignore it,
[12:30] ---
    but I heard that we'll
    get Dokkiriman stickers.
[12:32] Daigoro
    So, what's a Patriot factory?
SIGN    Welcome to the Patriot Factory
[12:37] Shin
    We've been waiting for you, kids.
[12:40] Kagura
    You brats, I mean, nice children
[12:42] Kagura
    were chosen from around the world
[12:45] ---
    to tour this factory of dreams!
[12:49] Shin
    I'm Pachi!
[12:50] Kagura
    I'm Gura!
[12:51] Both
    We'll be your guides on this
    tour of the factory of dreams!
[12:57] B
    Isn't this a total rip-off of
    Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?
[13:00] A
    Excuse me, what is the
    purpose of this tour?
[13:04] Shin
    What? You don't appreciate
    our invitation?
[13:06] Kagura
    Feel free to leave.
[13:08] Kagura
    But you won't get any
    Dokkiriman stickers.
[13:10] Kagura
    And you'll lose your chance
    to learn what Patriots are.
[13:13] Daigoro
    Who cares about Patriots...
[13:16] Sa
    Look! Look!
[13:17] Sa
    It's a Patriot factory!
[13:19] Sa
    No way! I don't believe it!
[13:20] Tsukuyo
    I never imagined that a Patriot
    factory would be here!
[13:23] Tsukuyo
    I heard that they were only produced by
[13:25] ---
    NASA, the FBI, and the NBA!
[13:28] Sa
    Let's take a look.
[13:30] Tsukuyo
    Wait, Sarutobi!
[13:36] Hijikata
    Chief, I found some suspicious people
[13:39] ---
    who were investigating the Patriot.
[13:40] Hijikata
    I immediately shot them down.
[13:42] Gin
    Roger that.
[13:43] Gin
    So the Succeed Committee
    has finally made its move.
[13:46] Gin
    The time of Ragnarok is upon us.
[13:47] Gin
    We must hasten the
    development of the Patriot.
[13:49] Hijikata
    I also see some funny-looking kids.
[13:51] Hijikata
    Should I take them out?
[13:55] Gin
    They are my guests.
[13:58] Gin
    The last hope of humanity.
[14:00] Gin
    The children who will
    inherit the Patriots.
[14:02] Gin
    Welcome to the Patriot factory tour.
[14:05] Kagura
    Chief!
[14:07] Kagura
    The kids aren't interested
    in the Patriot.
[14:09] Gin
    I see.
[14:10] Gin
    But you've seen too much already.
[14:13] Gin
    Take them out...
[14:16] Kagura
    You can leave.
[14:17] Shin
    Be careful on the way home.
[14:21] Shin
    This way.
[14:22] C
    Seriously! We should leave!
[14:24] B
    They'll kill us if we leave!
[14:27] Daigoro
    We'll have to do as they say and
    tour the Patriot factory.
[14:31] E
    But...
[14:32] Kagura
    Take a look at this.
SIGN    History of the Patriot
[14:34] Shin
    You can see the history and
[14:36] ---
    development of the Patriot here.
[14:38] Shin
    Here, you will find the
    current Patriot design.
[14:42] Shin
    However, Patriots have been
    around since the Jomon period.
[14:45] Shin
    Thanks to trial and error,
[14:46] ---
    we were able to create one of
    the essential tools in our life.
[14:48] C
    I've never used one before.
[14:50] Shin
    This would be the father of the Patriot,
[14:51] Shin
    the oldest one known,
    which was created by
[14:54] ---
    the chief of the Zugomanda tribe.
[14:55] E
    Isn't that a drumstick?
[14:57] Shin
    It may look like one, but
    this is, in fact, a Patriot.
[15:00] Shin
    Look over here.
[15:01] Shin
    It says "not for
    consumption" on the side.
[15:03] A
    It has to be edible if
    there are preservatives!
[15:05] Kagura
    The original Patriot was known as the
[15:09] ---
    boned Patriot or Kin(Patriot)Man.
[15:11] C
    There's only one word
    that would fit in there!
[15:13] Shin
    In the Heian period,
[15:14] Shin
    the Tang ambassador Zugomaru Kakinomoto
[15:17] ---
    altered the design significantly.
[15:19] Shin
    He brought ingredients
    back from the Tang
[15:21] ---
    to make it a Spicy Patriot...
[15:22] A
    That's just spicy chicken!
[15:24] A
    And somebody took a bite out of it!
[15:25] A
    Zugomaru's still got
    some around his mouth!
[15:28] Shin
    And in the Sengoku period,
[15:29] ---
    Zugomanzo turned the
    Patriot into something.
[15:32] A
    Why is it part of a combo now?!
[15:34] C
    Did Zugomanzo even do anything?!
[15:35] C
    This is like the history
    of fried chicken!
[15:37] Shin
    And eventually we reached
    the current Patriot design.
[15:41] A
    Why?!
[15:42] A
    You skipped over the
    most important part!
[15:44] Shin
    Now that you have some basic
    knowledge of the Patriot,
[15:46] Shin
    we'll give you a tour of the factory.
[15:49] Shin
    We'll see how the
    Patriot is constructed.
[15:52] Shin
    As you can see, the Patriot
    is made up of three parts.
[15:58] Shin
    The tissue box, which
    is known as the solid.
[16:00] C
    Uh, you called it a tissue
    box, so why call it the solid?
[16:03] Shin
    The toilet paper, which
    is known as the naked.
[16:06] Shin
    And the stick.
[16:08] A
    Why did you stop coming up with names?!
[16:10] Shin
    You jack in the three
    parts to create a Patriot.
[16:15] Kagura
    Look at the conveyor belt.
[16:17] C
    I don't see a thing.
[16:19] A
    Maybe the place is a mess
    because the chief is dead?
[16:24] All
    The chief is moving down the belt!
[16:27] Kagura
    The first step is to fix
    the broken factory chief.
[16:30] Kids
    That's where you start?!
[16:31] A
    Broken chief?! You're
    the ones who broke him!
[16:34] Shin
    The factory chief was
    broken to begin with.
[16:35] A
    Nobody respects the chief!
[16:38] Kagura
    First, we use tissues
    to wipe up the bloody body.
[16:41] C
    That's one of the
    parts for the Patriot!
[16:42] C
    Start assembling the Patriot already!
[16:44] Shin
    Next, we use toilet paper to
    wipe away his bloody past.
[16:48] C
    Who cares about his past?!
[16:49] C
    Make the Patriot already!
[16:51] Kagura
    And then you use the
    Patriot to wake him up.
[16:54] C
    The Patriot's already finished!
[16:56] C
    Why would you use a Patriot
    to make a Patriot?
[16:58] Shin
    Then you repeat the process three times.
[17:00] C
    You're just abusing him!
[17:02] C
    And aren't these the
    people who were shot?
[17:05] Kagura
    The chief must settle past accounts
    before he can be revived.
[17:08] C
    They're just getting revenge!
SIGN    Heal
[17:10] Shin
    And finally, we send the factory
    chief into the healing machine.
[17:14] Shin
    The factory chief is complete!
[17:16] C
    Nothing changed!
[17:18] Kagura
    This is the completed form
    of the factory chief.
[17:20] Kagura
    He was born broken.
[17:22] C
    What was the point of
    that whole process then?!
[17:24] Shin
    In the second step,
[17:25] ---
    we give the assembled
    factory chief motivation.
[17:28] Shin
    Otherwise known as giving
    the factory chief a goal.
[17:29] C
    Enough with the chief!
[17:31] Shin
    The chief is absolutely necessary
[17:32] ---
    for the production of a Patriot,
[17:34] Shin
    so this can't be avoided.
[17:35] C
    When are you going to make a Patriot?!
[17:37] A
    This is turning into a factory
    for making factory chiefs!
SIGN    I could only see the stars back then.
[17:39] A
    Hm? What's that?
[17:41] A
    They put him in a school uniform.
[17:46] A
    It's so fast!
[17:47] A
    I can barely keep up!
[17:49] C
    Hey! Look over there!
SIGN    Do your best! Become the best factory chief in Japan!!
[17:51] Both
    Hooray! Hooray! Do your best!
[17:54] A
    Why are they acting like
    he's on a train to Tokyo?!
[17:56] Sa
    We believe in you!
[17:58] ---
    You can become the best
    factory chief in Japan!
[18:00] ---
    You can do it, Facto!
[18:02] A
    His name is Facto?!
[18:04] A
    Hey!
[18:05] A
    What kind of process is this?!
[18:07] C
    Now we have some kind of funky set!
[18:10] Madao
    You want to become a factory chief?!
[18:12] Madao
    You were destined to inherit
[18:13] ---
    my toilet paper business from the
[18:15] ---
    day you were born!
[18:17] A
    Who's that?!
[18:19] Madao
    Go to Edo to work for a tissue factory?!
[18:21] Madao
    Don't look down on me!
[18:22] Madao
    You think that toilet paper's
    only meant for wiping the ass?!
[18:26] B
    Why is the factory chief's father here?!
[18:29] Daigoro
    This must be a flashback.
[18:31] Daigoro
    He was kicked out of his home,
[18:32] ---
    which would explain the previous scene.
[18:34] Kondo
    Darling!
[18:35] Kondo
    Stop it!
[18:37] Kondo
    Our son is making paper in his own way!
[18:41] C
    Now his mother's here?!
[18:42] Madao
    Let me go, Isako!
[18:43] Madao
    This is a discussion between men!
[18:45] Madao
    Ah, Facto!
[18:46] Madao
    Where are you going?!
     I'm not finished with you yet!
SIGN    Roof
[18:50] A
    What are they trying to do?!
[18:51] E
    Oh, he's wearing his old clothes again.
[18:54] Hijikata
    Oh, chief.
[18:55] Hijikata
    Good work.
[18:56] A
    He has a buddy with him now!
[18:58] Hijikata
    Why are you taking a nap here?
[19:01] A
    He's not taking a nap!
[19:02] A
    He's been out cold on the
    conveyor belt this whole time!
[19:05] Hijikata
    Thinking about old times again?
[19:10] Hijikata
    Your old man was really something.
[19:12] Hijikata
    A family of toilet paper men
    who refused to use tissues.
[19:17] Hijikata
    When wiping his ass,
[19:19] ---
    blowing his nose, writing down notes...
[19:22] Hijikata
    He even used toilet paper
    for the tires on his car.
[19:24] A
    Is the last one even necessary?!
[19:26] Hijikata
    You left your home
    because you didn't want
[19:29] ---
    to follow in his footsteps.
[19:31] Hijikata
    And so, you became the
    chief of a tissue factory.
[19:34] Hijikata
    You still refuse to use toilet paper?
[19:39] Hijikata
    You're just as stubborn as your father.
[19:41] Hijikata
    Still, chief...
[19:43] Hijikata
    If your old man saw you now,
[19:46] Hijikata
    I'm sure he'd be willing to use tissues.
[19:53] Kondo
    He never changed...
[19:56] Kondo
    He was always so stubborn.
[20:00] Kondo
    He used toilet paper to wipe
    his ass and blow his nose.
[20:04] Kondo
    When your tissues first went on sale,
[20:06] ---
    he used toilet paper
    to wipe away the tears.
[20:09] Kondo
    Tissues weren't good enough for him.
[20:12] A
    Chief!
[20:14] A
    What are you thinking?!
[20:16] A
    You really think this
    product will sell?!
[20:18] B
    I can't go along with this!
[20:19] C
    Hey, did you hear?
[20:20] C
    The chief has come up
    with a crazy new product.
[20:25] Daigoro
    D-Don't tell me...
[20:27] C
    His job's on the line.
[20:28] C
    But he insists on going
    through with the idea.
[20:31] Daigoro
    It can't be...
[20:32] D
    Hey, what kind of product
    are we talking about?
[20:35] Daigoro
    No way...
[20:36] Gin
    Toilet paper and tissue join together.
[20:39] Gin
    The ultimate paper for
    wiping away your tears.
[20:44] Daigoro
    Th-That's the Patriot!
[20:50] Gin
    We will now proceed to the final
    step for creating a Patriot.
[20:55] B
    Look! Above the conveyor belt!
[20:58] Madao
    Come, Patriot factory chief!
[21:05] Shin
    Do you still think that
    Patriots are trash?
[21:09] Kagura
    Do you still think that
    this job is trash?
[21:13] Shin
    Jobs aren't meant to be compared.
[21:15] Shin
    When you willingly work for
    the sake of someone else,
[21:18] Shin
    you're doing your job.
[21:20] Shin
    Every job deserves respect.
[21:23] Shin
    Because the world needs
    all of us to do our jobs.
[21:28] Shin
    Would you like to try doing your job?
[21:33] Both
    Go help the factory chief.
[21:38] Gin
    K-Kids...
[21:41] Kids
    You should have just gotten
    your ass off the conveyor belt!
[21:47] A
    Good work, everyone.
[21:48] E
    Yeah, we took out the trash.
[21:51] Daigoro
    Those damn fools wasted our
    time with that stupid show.
[21:56] Shin
    That was an educational experience.
[21:58] Kagura
    Yep.
SIGN    Next Episode: What Happens
    Twice Can Happen Thrice
[23:30] Gin
    Next time:
[23:31] Gin
    What happens twice can happen thrice!
[23:34] ---