# E216 - I Can't Remember a Damn Thing About the Factory Tour
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GR3VGM3Z6/i-cant-remember-a-damn-thing-about-the-factory-tour)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Odd Jobs Gin-chan
**[01:31] Gin**
What? A tour?
**[01:33] Kagura**
My friend, Satsuki-chan,
**[01:35] Kagura**
asked for an educational tour of
**[01:36] ---**
Odd Jobs to fulfill an assignment.
**[01:38] Gin**
Stop offering to do stuff
that's a pain in the ass.
**[01:42] Shin**
If she wants to see us at work,
**[01:44] ---**
we don't have any jobs today.
**[01:45] Gin**
We haven't had any jobs in forever.
**[01:48] Shin**
We don't want to ruin
**[01:49] ---**
the hopes and dreams of young children.
**[01:53] Kagura**
No!
**[01:54] Kagura**
I want to show them how great
Odd Jobs Kagura-chan is!
**[01:56] Kagura**
Do something about it, scumbags!
**[01:58] Gin**
Stop tacking on random insults.
**[02:01] Kagura**
She's here!
**[02:02] Kagura**
You guys better act like grown-ups.
**[02:05] Kagura**
Don't do anything weird!
**[02:07] Kagura**
Welcome, Satsuki-chan!
**[02:09] Satsuki**
Sorry, Kagura-chan.
**[02:11] ---**
I'm sure that you're busy.
**[02:13] Kids**
Thank you!
***SIGN*** I Can't Remember a Damn
Thing About the Factory Tour
**[02:20] Kagura**
This is our strategist/Supreme
**[02:21] ---**
Commander of Eastern Operations,
Strategos Shimura.
**[02:24] Shin**
Supreme Commander of
Eastern Operations?!
**[02:25] Kagura**
Shut up and follow my lead.
**[02:28] Kagura**
Just say stuff that sounds cool.
**[02:30] Satsuki**
Wow, Supreme Commander
of Eastern Operations...
**[02:33] Satsuki**
Um, what kind of work
do you do at Odd Jobs?
**[02:37] Shin**
O-Our president will explain that,
**[02:39] ---**
so come on inside.
**[02:41] Kagura**
President, the kids are
here for their tour.
**[02:45] ---**
May we come in?
**[02:53] Shin**
He's turned the room into
a workshop or something...
**[02:57] Shin**
Uh, President?
**[02:58] Gin**
Bah, it's no use.
**[02:59] Gin**
The naked refuses to
jack in to the solid.
**[03:02] Shin**
U-Uh, President...
**[03:04] Gin**
Could you shut the door?
**[03:06] Gin**
If you let the heat escape,
**[03:07] ---**
my Patriot will cool down and harden.
**[03:09] Satsuki**
Oh, s-sorry!
**[03:11] Shin**
What's a Patriot supposed to be?
**[03:13] Shin**
I have no idea what's going on,
**[03:13] ---**
but the president sounds
like a real craftsman.
**[03:15] Satsuki**
Um, we're here to see you at work.
**[03:18] Gin**
Do you prefer Calcutta or Meso Gear?
**[03:21] Satsuki**
Huh?
**[03:21] Gin**
If you're here, you must prefer one.
**[03:26] Shin**
Ignore them.
**[03:27] Shin**
Ignore their pleas for help.
**[03:30] Satsuki**
I-I like Calcutta.
**[03:32] A**
M-Me too.
**[03:33] Shin**
They randomly chose one!
**[03:33] B**
Me too.
**[03:33] Shin**
They randomly chose Calcutta!
**[03:35] Gin**
I see, you choose Calcutta.
**[03:37] Gin**
Hmph, how precocious of you.
**[03:40] Gin**
Here.
**[03:41] Gin**
Calcutta should be
enjoyed while it's hot.
**[03:43] Satsuki**
Th-Thank you very much!
**[03:44] A**
This is Calcutta?
**[03:46] B**
It looks like coffee.
**[03:47] Shin**
Why didn't you just ask them
if they liked coffee or not?!
**[03:49] Shin**
You're pissing me off!
**[03:51] Gin**
I once tried to be
brave and try Calcutta.
**[03:55] Gin**
But now I'm a devout fan of Meso Gear.
***SIGN*** Edo Strawberry Milk
**[03:57] Gin**
I believe that my
dedication to Meso Gear
**[03:59] ---**
was a product of that bitter experience.
**[04:01] Shin**
He's throwing together
a bunch of fancy phrases
**[04:03] ---**
to say absolutely nothing at all!
**[04:04] A**
Can we get started?
**[04:06] A**
What do you Odd Jobs people even do?
**[04:10] Gin**
Well, it's quite difficult
to explain what we do.
**[04:13] Gin**
You could say that we are
essentially a secret society
**[04:15] Gin**
involved in the production
and sale of this Patriot.
**[04:18] Shin**
That would make us Patriot salesmen!
**[04:20] A**
What is this Pastry...
**[04:21] Gin**
Patriot.
**[04:22] A**
What is this Patriot used for?
**[04:27] Gin**
Don't make me laugh.
**[04:30] Gin**
What is a Patriot used for, Kagura-kun?
**[04:33] Kagura**
Kids say the darndest
things, right, President?
**[04:37] Shin**
What's with them?
**[04:38] Shin**
They're pissing me off!
**[04:39] Gin**
Let me ask you this then.
**[04:41] Gin**
What's that below your nose?
**[04:44] Gin**
Every person has a peculiar indentation
**[04:47] ---**
between their nose and mouth.
**[04:48] Gin**
What is that used for?
**[04:51] A**
I-I don't know...
**[04:53] Gin**
Of course.
**[04:54] Gin**
Now, back to the Patriot.
**[04:57] Gin**
It's pretty much like that.
**[04:58] Shin**
So you don't know either?!
**[05:00] Gin**
Whether it's the indentation
below your nose
**[05:02] Gin**
or the built-in microphone on the
**[05:04] ---**
Famicom's second player controller,
**[05:06] Gin**
there are many things in this
world that make no sense.
**[05:08] Gin**
However, humans are meant
to eat, poop, and sleep.
**[05:11] Gin**
Everything else we do is useless.
**[05:14] Gin**
Our creations fall into that category.
**[05:17] Shin**
So after making a pompous speech,
**[05:19] ---**
all you're saying is that we make junk!
**[05:21] Daigoro**
Okay.
**[05:23] Daigoro**
So you do useless work
making useless stuff?
**[05:28] Gin**
It seems that you didn't
understand what I was saying.
**[05:30] Gin**
My point was that useless can
be valuable in its own way.
**[05:33] Daigoro**
Yeah, but...
**[05:34] DaigorO**
If all Odd Jobs does
is make useless stuff,
**[05:37] Daigoro**
doesn't that mean the
members are also useless?
**[05:41] Shin**
What's with this kid?
**[05:42] Satsuki**
That's not nice, Daigoro-kun.
**[05:43] Daigoro**
Satsuki-chan, we can call off the tour.
**[05:47] Daigoro**
It's clear that these Odd Jobs people
**[05:49] ---**
do useless work that
doesn't help society.
**[05:51] Shin**
Wait a moment!
**[05:52] Kagura**
While the Patriot may look
useless, it is, in fact,
**[05:55] Kagura**
a multimedia product which can be
**[05:56] ---**
used in a number of useless games.
**[05:58] Daigoro**
Oh? Really?
**[06:00] Daigoro**
What kind of games are
you talking about?
**[06:01] Kagura**
For example...
**[06:03] Kagura**
You can use the Patriot missile to whack
**[06:04] ---**
the head of someone who pisses you off.
**[06:06] Shin**
You don't need the Patriot to do that!
**[06:09] Daigoro**
I knew it.
**[06:11] Daigoro**
I can't believe that people actually
**[06:13] ---**
pay you scum to make this trash.
**[06:16] Shin**
Daigoro-kun?!
**[06:17] Shin**
You sound like a different person
after the beating to your head!
**[06:20] Daigoro**
Satsuki, I'm going home.
**[06:21] Daigoro**
I've had enough.
**[06:23] Satsuki**
Daigoro-kun!
**[06:24] Gin**
Wait, boy.
**[06:25] Gin**
You didn't drink your Calcutta...
**[06:26] Daigoro**
Sorry, Mr. President.
**[06:27] Daigoro**
I don't like Calcutta or Meso Gear.
**[06:30] Daigoro**
I go for Bourbon.
**[06:31] Shin**
That's pretty hard-boiled!
**[06:33] Shin**
What's with this kid?!
**[06:34] Daigoro**
I'll need to work hard to find
**[06:36] ---**
a real job so I don't
end up like you slobs.
**[06:38] Daigoro**
Thanks for showing me what it's like
**[06:40] ---**
at the bottom of society, Odd Jobs.
**[06:46] Shin**
Cheer up, Gin-san.
**[06:49] Shin**
A child wouldn't be able to understand
**[06:51] ---**
how incredible Odd Jobs truly is.
**[06:52] Kagura**
The other kids said they had fun.
**[06:55] Kagura**
Though they tossed the Patriots
we gave them as souvenirs.
**[06:59] Gin**
I started this business from scratch,
**[07:03] ---**
and I kind of like it.
**[07:06] Gin**
But I guess kids aren't impressed...
**[07:07] Shin**
Th-That's not true!
**[07:09] Gin**
Okay, tell me this then.
**[07:11] Gin**
What can this be used for?
**[07:15] Gin**
Can't think of anything, right?!
**[07:16] Gin**
'Course you can't!
**[07:17] Gin**
I can't either!
**[07:19] Gin**
I'm no different from
this piece of junk!
**[07:21] Gin**
Odd Jobs is trash!
**[07:22] Gin**
We do work that doesn't mean
a damn thing to society!
**[07:27] Shin**
He's completely snapped.
**[07:29] Shin**
It must have been a big shock to him.
**[07:32] Shin**
Huh? Isn't that Hijikata-san?
**[07:34] Hijikata**
We patrol the streets to
make sure there aren't any
**[07:37] ---**
bad people doing bad things.
**[07:38] Hijikata**
That's the most essential
job of a policeman.
**[07:41] A**
Ooh!
**[07:42] Hijikata**
What is it?
**[07:43] A**
Who would be a bad person?
**[07:46] Hijikata**
Anyone who breaks the law.
**[07:49] A**
So the law is always good?
**[07:52] Hijikata**
In most cases, the law
can be considered good...
**[07:54] A**
I have a question then!
**[07:55] A**
You aren't allowed to drop down from
a train platform to the tracks,
**[07:58] A**
but what if someone jumps down
**[07:59] ---**
to save a drunk who
happened to fall down?!
**[08:02] A**
Would someone who stays on the platform
**[08:03] ---**
as the drunk dies be considered good?!
**[08:05] Hijikata**
You take those situations case by case.
**[08:07] A**
A law that's always changing
can't be considered a proper law!
**[08:12] Hijikata**
I didn't word that right.
**[08:14] Hijikata**
A person who makes trouble
for others is a bad person.
**[08:17] Hijikata**
The law doesn't matter.
**[08:18] Shin**
He just threw out the law!
**[08:19] Shin**
He got sick of trying
and threw out the law!
**[08:21] A**
By that logic, you would
be a criminal for exposing
**[08:24] ---**
us to second-hand smoke!
**[08:26] Hijikata**
I'm sorry! Too much smoke for you?!
**[08:28] Hijikata**
Please forgive me! Please forgive me!
**[08:30] Shin**
This is bad!
**[08:31] Shin**
He's about to lose it!
**[08:31] Shin**
He's about to turn into a criminal!
**[08:33] A**
Could you explain how much
trouble a person must cause
**[08:35] A**
to be considered a criminal?
**[08:37] A**
For example...
**[08:38] A**
We have an individual getting
the snot knocked out of him
**[08:40] A**
by the woman he keeps stalking.
**[08:42] A**
Which one is the criminal?
**[08:45] Hijikata**
Uh...
**[08:46] Hijikata**
I was just joking.
**[08:48] Hijikata**
In reality, policemen are...
**[08:51] Hijikata**
...people involved in the production
and sale of this Patriot.
**[08:54] Shin**
He threw out everything and
became a Patriot salesman!
**[08:56] Shin**
What's going on?!
**[08:57] Shin**
Is this a new fad?!
**[08:58] C**
Pathetic.
**[08:59] C**
You switch jobs when
the going gets tough?
**[09:01] F**
Guess they weren't lying
when they said the police
**[09:03] ---**
in Japan were going to hell.
**[09:06] Shin**
Now it's Hijikata-san's turn to lose it.
**[09:07] Kagura**
I didn't realize you could
use the Patriot that way.
**[09:10] Tsukuyo**
Stop this foolishness.
**[09:12] Shin**
Tsukuyo-san?
**[09:13] A**
Please, lady!
**[09:15] A**
We want to learn more about
**[09:16] ---**
the people who work in Yoshiwara!
**[09:18] Tsukuyo**
And I told you to come
back in a hundred years.
**[09:21] Sa**
Ooh!
**[09:22] Sa**
Could you at least teach us how to
**[09:25] ---**
whip a man in a way
that brings pleasure?
**[09:27] Shin**
There's a very familiar
freak mixed in there!
**[09:31] Tsukuyo**
Now, that's the last
thing I would teach you.
**[09:34] Sa**
I'm in a relationship
with this guy right now.
**[09:36] Sa**
So you'll take responsibility
**[09:38] ---**
if something goes wrong
when the time comes?
**[09:40] Shin**
Nothing will go wrong!
**[09:41] Shin**
It's all in your head!
**[09:43] Tsukuyo**
I guess it'll be too late
if something goes wrong.
**[09:46] Tsukuyo**
Well, it's probably a good idea
**[09:48] ---**
to learn the general basics now.
**[09:50] Tsukuyo**
Allow me to explain then.
**[09:52] Tsukuyo**
If this is that, and this
is where you do that...
**[09:54] Shin**
What are you doing with that Patriot?!
**[09:58] C**
That's what girls are like?!
**[10:01] Tsukuyo**
I was trying to give them a simple
explanation without revealing anything...
**[10:04] Sa**
Stop playing dumb!
**[10:05] Sa**
Teach me the secret
techniques of Yoshiwara!
**[10:07] Kondo**
Well, as you can see, our job isn't
**[10:10] ---**
always a walk in the park.
**[10:12] Kondo**
However, we never give up.
**[10:14] Kondo**
Believe in a better tomorrow
and stay on the trail.
**[10:16] Kondo**
That's how you become a stalker.
**[10:17] Shin**
That's not a job!
**[10:19] E**
Oh!
**[10:19] Kondo**
Yes, what is it?
**[10:21] E**
Do you ever want to die?
**[10:23] Shin**
What kind of question is that?!
**[10:25] Kondo**
A very good question.
**[10:26] Shin**
It's not a good question!
**[10:28] Kondo**
A job is supposed to be painful.
**[10:32] Kondo**
In that case, you should look
for pain that you can enjoy.
**[10:35] Shin**
How can you say that while
pretending to be a professional?!
**[10:37] Madao**
That is naive!
**[10:41] Madao**
There are many people with
jobs they absolutely hate!
**[10:45] Madao**
Society needs these people to function!
**[10:48] Madao**
Look at me!
**[10:50] Madao**
You think I want to be a Patriot?!
**[10:53] Shin**
Hey!
**[10:54] Shin**
I seriously have no idea what
a Patriot is supposed to be!
**[10:56] Madao**
But I don't have a choice!
**[10:58] Madao**
If I don't do this, who will?!
**[11:00] Madao**
This world needs Patriots!
**[11:03] Shin**
The hell it does!
**[11:04] Kondo**
The people who always blame others...
**[11:07] Kondo**
...can never have a better life.
**[11:09] Madao**
How would you...
**[11:10] Madao**
How would you know how it
feels to be a Patriot?!
**[11:13] Kondo**
I know.
**[11:14] Madao**
Huh?
**[11:15] Kondo**
After all... After all...
**[11:18] Kondo**
I'm working two jobs as
both a Patriot and a stalker!
**[11:21] Shin**
That just means you fail at life!
**[11:26] Madao**
Y-You too?
**[11:28] Kondo**
Yeah, you don't have to
bear the burden alone.
**[11:31] Kondo**
Ask me for help.
**[11:35] Madao**
Th-Thank you.
**[11:38] E**
Uh, excuse me.
**[11:41] E**
So what's a Patriot?
**[11:45] Both**
No idea.
**[11:52] Shin**
What are you people doing?
**[11:54] Shin**
You grown-ups let a bunch
of kids bully you around.
**[12:00] Shin**
It's the job of a grown-up to
teach kids what's important.
**[12:05] Shin**
We can't let their tour end like this.
**[12:11] Mom**
Daigoro, there's a letter for you.
**[12:14] Daigoro**
Letter?
***SIGN*** Invitation to an educational tour of a Patriot factory.
**[12:19] Daigoro**
What's this?
**[12:22] A**
Daigoro!
**[12:24] A**
You received an invitation too?
**[12:26] Daigoro**
Oh, you guys also got one?
***SIGN*** Invitation to an educational tour of a Patriot factory.
**[12:28] E**
I was gonna ignore it,
**[12:30] ---**
but I heard that we'll
get Dokkiriman stickers.
**[12:32] Daigoro**
So, what's a Patriot factory?
***SIGN*** Welcome to the Patriot Factory
**[12:37] Shin**
We've been waiting for you, kids.
**[12:40] Kagura**
You brats, I mean, nice children
**[12:42] Kagura**
were chosen from around the world
**[12:45] ---**
to tour this factory of dreams!
**[12:49] Shin**
I'm Pachi!
**[12:50] Kagura**
I'm Gura!
**[12:51] Both**
We'll be your guides on this
tour of the factory of dreams!
**[12:57] B**
Isn't this a total rip-off of
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?
**[13:00] A**
Excuse me, what is the
purpose of this tour?
**[13:04] Shin**
What? You don't appreciate
our invitation?
**[13:06] Kagura**
Feel free to leave.
**[13:08] Kagura**
But you won't get any
Dokkiriman stickers.
**[13:10] Kagura**
And you'll lose your chance
to learn what Patriots are.
**[13:13] Daigoro**
Who cares about Patriots...
**[13:16] Sa**
Look! Look!
**[13:17] Sa**
It's a Patriot factory!
**[13:19] Sa**
No way! I don't believe it!
**[13:20] Tsukuyo**
I never imagined that a Patriot
factory would be here!
**[13:23] Tsukuyo**
I heard that they were only produced by
**[13:25] ---**
NASA, the FBI, and the NBA!
**[13:28] Sa**
Let's take a look.
**[13:30] Tsukuyo**
Wait, Sarutobi!
**[13:36] Hijikata**
Chief, I found some suspicious people
**[13:39] ---**
who were investigating the Patriot.
**[13:40] Hijikata**
I immediately shot them down.
**[13:42] Gin**
Roger that.
**[13:43] Gin**
So the Succeed Committee
has finally made its move.
**[13:46] Gin**
The time of Ragnarok is upon us.
**[13:47] Gin**
We must hasten the
development of the Patriot.
**[13:49] Hijikata**
I also see some funny-looking kids.
**[13:51] Hijikata**
Should I take them out?
**[13:55] Gin**
They are my guests.
**[13:58] Gin**
The last hope of humanity.
**[14:00] Gin**
The children who will
inherit the Patriots.
**[14:02] Gin**
Welcome to the Patriot factory tour.
**[14:05] Kagura**
Chief!
**[14:07] Kagura**
The kids aren't interested
in the Patriot.
**[14:09] Gin**
I see.
**[14:10] Gin**
But you've seen too much already.
**[14:13] Gin**
Take them out...
**[14:16] Kagura**
You can leave.
**[14:17] Shin**
Be careful on the way home.
**[14:21] Shin**
This way.
**[14:22] C**
Seriously! We should leave!
**[14:24] B**
They'll kill us if we leave!
**[14:27] Daigoro**
We'll have to do as they say and
tour the Patriot factory.
**[14:31] E**
But...
**[14:32] Kagura**
Take a look at this.
***SIGN*** History of the Patriot
**[14:34] Shin**
You can see the history and
**[14:36] ---**
development of the Patriot here.
**[14:38] Shin**
Here, you will find the
current Patriot design.
**[14:42] Shin**
However, Patriots have been
around since the Jomon period.
**[14:45] Shin**
Thanks to trial and error,
**[14:46] ---**
we were able to create one of
the essential tools in our life.
**[14:48] C**
I've never used one before.
**[14:50] Shin**
This would be the father of the Patriot,
**[14:51] Shin**
the oldest one known,
which was created by
**[14:54] ---**
the chief of the Zugomanda tribe.
**[14:55] E**
Isn't that a drumstick?
**[14:57] Shin**
It may look like one, but
this is, in fact, a Patriot.
**[15:00] Shin**
Look over here.
**[15:01] Shin**
It says "not for
consumption" on the side.
**[15:03] A**
It has to be edible if
there are preservatives!
**[15:05] Kagura**
The original Patriot was known as the
**[15:09] ---**
boned Patriot or Kin(Patriot)Man.
**[15:11] C**
There's only one word
that would fit in there!
**[15:13] Shin**
In the Heian period,
**[15:14] Shin**
the Tang ambassador Zugomaru Kakinomoto
**[15:17] ---**
altered the design significantly.
**[15:19] Shin**
He brought ingredients
back from the Tang
**[15:21] ---**
to make it a Spicy Patriot...
**[15:22] A**
That's just spicy chicken!
**[15:24] A**
And somebody took a bite out of it!
**[15:25] A**
Zugomaru's still got
some around his mouth!
**[15:28] Shin**
And in the Sengoku period,
**[15:29] ---**
Zugomanzo turned the
Patriot into something.
**[15:32] A**
Why is it part of a combo now?!
**[15:34] C**
Did Zugomanzo even do anything?!
**[15:35] C**
This is like the history
of fried chicken!
**[15:37] Shin**
And eventually we reached
the current Patriot design.
**[15:41] A**
Why?!
**[15:42] A**
You skipped over the
most important part!
**[15:44] Shin**
Now that you have some basic
knowledge of the Patriot,
**[15:46] Shin**
we'll give you a tour of the factory.
**[15:49] Shin**
We'll see how the
Patriot is constructed.
**[15:52] Shin**
As you can see, the Patriot
is made up of three parts.
**[15:58] Shin**
The tissue box, which
is known as the solid.
**[16:00] C**
Uh, you called it a tissue
box, so why call it the solid?
**[16:03] Shin**
The toilet paper, which
is known as the naked.
**[16:06] Shin**
And the stick.
**[16:08] A**
Why did you stop coming up with names?!
**[16:10] Shin**
You jack in the three
parts to create a Patriot.
**[16:15] Kagura**
Look at the conveyor belt.
**[16:17] C**
I don't see a thing.
**[16:19] A**
Maybe the place is a mess
because the chief is dead?
**[16:24] All**
The chief is moving down the belt!
**[16:27] Kagura**
The first step is to fix
the broken factory chief.
**[16:30] Kids**
That's where you start?!
**[16:31] A**
Broken chief?! You're
the ones who broke him!
**[16:34] Shin**
The factory chief was
broken to begin with.
**[16:35] A**
Nobody respects the chief!
**[16:38] Kagura**
First, we use tissues
to wipe up the bloody body.
**[16:41] C**
That's one of the
parts for the Patriot!
**[16:42] C**
Start assembling the Patriot already!
**[16:44] Shin**
Next, we use toilet paper to
wipe away his bloody past.
**[16:48] C**
Who cares about his past?!
**[16:49] C**
Make the Patriot already!
**[16:51] Kagura**
And then you use the
Patriot to wake him up.
**[16:54] C**
The Patriot's already finished!
**[16:56] C**
Why would you use a Patriot
to make a Patriot?
**[16:58] Shin**
Then you repeat the process three times.
**[17:00] C**
You're just abusing him!
**[17:02] C**
And aren't these the
people who were shot?
**[17:05] Kagura**
The chief must settle past accounts
before he can be revived.
**[17:08] C**
They're just getting revenge!
***SIGN*** Heal
**[17:10] Shin**
And finally, we send the factory
chief into the healing machine.
**[17:14] Shin**
The factory chief is complete!
**[17:16] C**
Nothing changed!
**[17:18] Kagura**
This is the completed form
of the factory chief.
**[17:20] Kagura**
He was born broken.
**[17:22] C**
What was the point of
that whole process then?!
**[17:24] Shin**
In the second step,
**[17:25] ---**
we give the assembled
factory chief motivation.
**[17:28] Shin**
Otherwise known as giving
the factory chief a goal.
**[17:29] C**
Enough with the chief!
**[17:31] Shin**
The chief is absolutely necessary
**[17:32] ---**
for the production of a Patriot,
**[17:34] Shin**
so this can't be avoided.
**[17:35] C**
When are you going to make a Patriot?!
**[17:37] A**
This is turning into a factory
for making factory chiefs!
***SIGN*** I could only see the stars back then.
**[17:39] A**
Hm? What's that?
**[17:41] A**
They put him in a school uniform.
**[17:46] A**
It's so fast!
**[17:47] A**
I can barely keep up!
**[17:49] C**
Hey! Look over there!
***SIGN*** Do your best! Become the best factory chief in Japan!!
**[17:51] Both**
Hooray! Hooray! Do your best!
**[17:54] A**
Why are they acting like
he's on a train to Tokyo?!
**[17:56] Sa**
We believe in you!
**[17:58] ---**
You can become the best
factory chief in Japan!
**[18:00] ---**
You can do it, Facto!
**[18:02] A**
His name is Facto?!
**[18:04] A**
Hey!
**[18:05] A**
What kind of process is this?!
**[18:07] C**
Now we have some kind of funky set!
**[18:10] Madao**
You want to become a factory chief?!
**[18:12] Madao**
You were destined to inherit
**[18:13] ---**
my toilet paper business from the
**[18:15] ---**
day you were born!
**[18:17] A**
Who's that?!
**[18:19] Madao**
Go to Edo to work for a tissue factory?!
**[18:21] Madao**
Don't look down on me!
**[18:22] Madao**
You think that toilet paper's
only meant for wiping the ass?!
**[18:26] B**
Why is the factory chief's father here?!
**[18:29] Daigoro**
This must be a flashback.
**[18:31] Daigoro**
He was kicked out of his home,
**[18:32] ---**
which would explain the previous scene.
**[18:34] Kondo**
Darling!
**[18:35] Kondo**
Stop it!
**[18:37] Kondo**
Our son is making paper in his own way!
**[18:41] C**
Now his mother's here?!
**[18:42] Madao**
Let me go, Isako!
**[18:43] Madao**
This is a discussion between men!
**[18:45] Madao**
Ah, Facto!
**[18:46] Madao**
Where are you going?!
I'm not finished with you yet!
***SIGN*** Roof
**[18:50] A**
What are they trying to do?!
**[18:51] E**
Oh, he's wearing his old clothes again.
**[18:54] Hijikata**
Oh, chief.
**[18:55] Hijikata**
Good work.
**[18:56] A**
He has a buddy with him now!
**[18:58] Hijikata**
Why are you taking a nap here?
**[19:01] A**
He's not taking a nap!
**[19:02] A**
He's been out cold on the
conveyor belt this whole time!
**[19:05] Hijikata**
Thinking about old times again?
**[19:10] Hijikata**
Your old man was really something.
**[19:12] Hijikata**
A family of toilet paper men
who refused to use tissues.
**[19:17] Hijikata**
When wiping his ass,
**[19:19] ---**
blowing his nose, writing down notes...
**[19:22] Hijikata**
He even used toilet paper
for the tires on his car.
**[19:24] A**
Is the last one even necessary?!
**[19:26] Hijikata**
You left your home
because you didn't want
**[19:29] ---**
to follow in his footsteps.
**[19:31] Hijikata**
And so, you became the
chief of a tissue factory.
**[19:34] Hijikata**
You still refuse to use toilet paper?
**[19:39] Hijikata**
You're just as stubborn as your father.
**[19:41] Hijikata**
Still, chief...
**[19:43] Hijikata**
If your old man saw you now,
**[19:46] Hijikata**
I'm sure he'd be willing to use tissues.
**[19:53] Kondo**
He never changed...
**[19:56] Kondo**
He was always so stubborn.
**[20:00] Kondo**
He used toilet paper to wipe
his ass and blow his nose.
**[20:04] Kondo**
When your tissues first went on sale,
**[20:06] ---**
he used toilet paper
to wipe away the tears.
**[20:09] Kondo**
Tissues weren't good enough for him.
**[20:12] A**
Chief!
**[20:14] A**
What are you thinking?!
**[20:16] A**
You really think this
product will sell?!
**[20:18] B**
I can't go along with this!
**[20:19] C**
Hey, did you hear?
**[20:20] C**
The chief has come up
with a crazy new product.
**[20:25] Daigoro**
D-Don't tell me...
**[20:27] C**
His job's on the line.
**[20:28] C**
But he insists on going
through with the idea.
**[20:31] Daigoro**
It can't be...
**[20:32] D**
Hey, what kind of product
are we talking about?
**[20:35] Daigoro**
No way...
**[20:36] Gin**
Toilet paper and tissue join together.
**[20:39] Gin**
The ultimate paper for
wiping away your tears.
**[20:44] Daigoro**
Th-That's the Patriot!
**[20:50] Gin**
We will now proceed to the final
step for creating a Patriot.
**[20:55] B**
Look! Above the conveyor belt!
**[20:58] Madao**
Come, Patriot factory chief!
**[21:05] Shin**
Do you still think that
Patriots are trash?
**[21:09] Kagura**
Do you still think that
this job is trash?
**[21:13] Shin**
Jobs aren't meant to be compared.
**[21:15] Shin**
When you willingly work for
the sake of someone else,
**[21:18] Shin**
you're doing your job.
**[21:20] Shin**
Every job deserves respect.
**[21:23] Shin**
Because the world needs
all of us to do our jobs.
**[21:28] Shin**
Would you like to try doing your job?
**[21:33] Both**
Go help the factory chief.
**[21:38] Gin**
K-Kids...
**[21:41] Kids**
You should have just gotten
your ass off the conveyor belt!
**[21:47] A**
Good work, everyone.
**[21:48] E**
Yeah, we took out the trash.
**[21:51] Daigoro**
Those damn fools wasted our
time with that stupid show.
**[21:56] Shin**
That was an educational experience.
**[21:58] Kagura**
Yep.
***SIGN*** Next Episode: What Happens
Twice Can Happen Thrice
**[23:30] Gin**
Next time:
**[23:31] Gin**
What happens twice can happen thrice!
**[23:34] ---**