E2 - You Guys!! Do You Even Have a Gintama? (Part 2)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:09] Shishimura
    You've got some skill... Are you a former Exclusionist rebel?
[00:13] Gintoki
    And you're a former gangster, aren't you?
[00:15] Gintoki
    You shouldn't have damaged your hair when you were young.
[00:18] Shishimura
    I don't have to take that from someone with naturally wavy hair!
[00:20] Gintoki
    You're breakin' my heart...
[00:21] Gintoki
    It's not like I wanted wavy hair!
[00:24] Shishimura
    I'll kill you this time! You'd better say your prayers!
[00:28] Gintoki
    Shimura! Look out behind you.
[00:30] Shishimura
    Hey! I'm not Shimura...
[00:32] Policeman
    Hey!
[00:33] Policeman
    We're still under the Sword Ban! What're you doing?
[00:36] Shishimura
    Um... Well...
[00:39] Gintoki
    Nice catch.
[00:41] Policeman
    Oh, I see, sideshow practice...
[00:43] Shishimura
    Yes! Isn't that right?
[00:46] Shishimura
    Right? Huh? Where'd he go?
[00:48] Shishimura
    He's gone.
[00:55] Gintoki
    Hey, hey. You feeling nostalgic?
[00:57] Gintoki
    Trying to control the urge to run toward the sunset, you idiots?
[01:01] Shinpachi
    Gin!
[01:02] Sa
    We have to apologize, Gin.
[01:04] Kagura
    Katoken left.
[01:06] Gintoki
    Katoken?
[01:07] Gintoki
    Oh, our client.
[01:09] Shinpachi
    Hey, get me down from here!
[01:12] Gintoki
    Ah well, so it goes.
[01:14] Gintoki
    We're getting used to working for nothing.
[01:16] Gintoki
    It's no use worrying about it.
[01:18] Gintoki
    I had a feeling when we took the job that it wouldn't work out. Really.
[01:22] Shinpachi
    Gin!
[01:25] Shinpachi
    Oh, well...
[01:26] Shinpachi
    I didn't know Gin would be so cold-hearted.
[01:30] Kagura
    That's how he is.
[01:31] Kagura
    He'll let anyone in, but doesn't stand in their way if they want to leave.
[01:34] Shinpachi
    By the way, Kagura, why did you come to my house?
[01:37] Shinpachi
    Why are you eating my rice?
[01:39] Kagura
    Dinner is right next door.
[01:41] Shinpachi
    It's not next door!
[01:42] Otae
    Why would you two say something like that?
[01:45] Shinpachi
    Sis...
[01:48] Narrator
    Otae. Shinpachi's big sister.
[01:50] Narrator
    Works part-time in order to save the dojo her father left her.
[01:54] Otae
    If you don't believe in Gin, who will?
[01:58] Kondo
    No! He doesn't deserve it, Otae.
[02:03] Kondo
    Like I've been saying,
[02:04] Kondo
    you can't trust a guy who has the eyes of a dead fish.
[02:08] Otae
    You're the bastard! You stalker!
[02:12] Kazura
    Is he still stalking her?
[02:13] Otae
    I'll finish you off!
[02:15] Shinpachi
    Yeah, but it's hard to explain.
[02:19] Shinpachi
    I wonder what Gin is doing now.
SIGN    [Higucchan Bar]
[02:37] Gintoki
    You want some?
[02:40] Katoken
    Wh-What's that?
[02:42] Gintoki
    It's Azuki ala Gintoki. Rice with azuki beans.
[02:46] Katoken
    N-No thanks.
SIGN    [Side Road to Enka]
[02:57] Gintoki
    This is good sake.
[02:59] Gintoki
    Helps me forget all my worries for a moment.
[03:02] Gintoki
    But I'll be reminded of them tomorrow.
[03:05] Gintoki
    And I think they'll be even bigger headaches than they were today.
[03:10] Gintoki
    It is not like you can run away from them.
[03:13] Gintoki
    Especially...
[03:15] Gintoki
    ...those things you really want to forget.
[03:22] Katoken
    I may have wanted an excuse.
[03:25] Gintoki
    An excuse?
[03:30] Katoken
    I already told you that I was fired, my house was taken from me,
[03:34] Katoken
    and my family left me, didn't I?
[03:38] Katoken
    I used to be a salesman.
[03:43] Katoken
    I kept working for the sake of my family day after day...
[03:46] Katoken
    And we were finally able to buy our own house.
[03:49] Katoken
    I was happy.
[03:50] Katoken
    I believed that I could keep working for them. But...
[03:56] Katoken
    I still don't understand it.
[03:58] Katoken
    I didn't do anything wrong, but I was fired from the company.
[04:02] Katoken
    So, I went and got drunk,
[04:05] Katoken
    and those guys stamped my seal on a contract without my permission.
[04:09] Katoken
    Then the land shark came and showed us the bogus contract, saying I had to leave my house.
[04:15] Katoken
    My wife couldn't stand their harassment and left with my daughter.
[04:27] Katoken
    I said that something happened to me every week, remember?
[04:30] Katoken
    What do you think happened last week then?
[04:33] Gintoki
    I don't know.
[04:36] Gintoki
    A letter?
[04:37] Katoken
    Yes. My daughter sent me a letter right before my eviction.
[04:46] Daughter
    "Daddy, I want to come home soon."
[05:02] Katoken
    By then, I had given up on everything.
[05:04] Katoken
    But after reading her letter, I wanted to give it another try.
[05:11] Katoken
    Does that sound stupid?
[05:12] Katoken
    I believed that if I got my house back, my family would return.
[05:19] Katoken
    But now I realize...
[05:21] Katoken
    I'm useless.
[05:23] Katoken
    Even though I worked so hard...
[05:25] Gintoki
    Let's go.
[05:27] Katoken
    Um...
[05:29] Cook
    Thank you!
[05:33] Cook
    Sir, your bill.
[05:38] Katoken
    Um... Sorry, but since I'm unemployed, can we split the bill at least?
[05:43] Gintoki
    Let's go, Katoken!
[05:44] Katoken
    Huh? To where?
[05:47] Gintoki
    What? Don't you want to get the contract back?
[05:49] Katoken
    Th-Then...
[05:51] Gintoki
    I'm Odd Jobs Gin. I'll do anything for...
[05:56] Gintoki
    I don't feel so good.
[05:59] Gintoki
    Can we postpone the raid until tomorrow?
[06:02] Katoken
    Huh?
[06:03] Gintoki
    Did I drink too much?
[06:05] Gintoki
    My head feels like it's shaking.
[06:08] Katoken
    No, this is an earthquake...I think.
[06:12] Gintoki
    Urgh! I can't hold it anymore!
[06:16] Katoken
    I feel I'm going to throw up, too.
[06:19] Gintoki
    You don't have to...
[06:26] Gintoki
    Man, what a headache.
[06:28] Gintoki
    This is a total hangover.
[06:31] Gintoki
    I need some water.
[06:33] Shinpachi
    Leave it to Gin.
[06:34] Shinpachi
    I knew we would do something like this.
[06:37] Kagura
    Really? You said Gin was cold-hearted, didn't you?
[06:41] Shinpachi
    What about you?
[06:43] Shinpachi
    You said that he lets anyone in, didn't you?!
[06:45] Gintoki
    Shut up! Stop talking so loudly.
[06:48] Gintoki
    It really hurts my head.
[06:52] Gintoki
    Oh, here it is.
[06:55] Shinpachi
    We'll get Katoken's contract back, right?
[06:58] Kagura
    How do we sneak in?
[07:00] Gintoki
    Huh? We're not going to sneak in - we're going to break in.
[07:05] Gintoki
    That means we'll storm in through the front.
[07:09] Shinpachi
    Gin...
[07:10] Gintoki
    Knock knock!
[07:14] Shinpachi
    Wait!
[07:14] Kagura
    Bunta! Are you trying to act like Bunta Sugawara?
[07:18] Gintoki
    Hello! Anyone here?
[07:20] Shinpachi
    You don't need to let them know we're here.
[07:22] Katoken
    Strange. There doesn't seem to be anyone here.
[07:42] Shinpachi
    It's still warm. That is, like they just left!
[07:46] Gintoki
    That's right. This is really warm.
[07:48] Kagura
    Is this real meat? It's so tender!
[07:52] Shinpachi
    Hey, hey! What are you doing?!
[07:54] Gintoki
    Well, we're not supposed to waste food, are we?
[07:58] Kagura
    Saving the best for last.
[07:59] Shinpachi
    You guys are like pigs!
[08:01] Shinpachi
    What will you do if there's poison in it?
[08:03] Shishimura
    Don't worry. There's no poison in it.
[08:12] Kariya
    Are these the ones who have been sniffing around?
[08:15] Shishimura
    Yes, Mr. Kariya.
[08:17] Puu
    Kato, is that you?
[08:19] Puu
    What are you doing here?
[08:20] Katoken
    W-Well...
[08:22] Gintoki
    Say, aren't you embarrassed for laying a trap like this?
[08:26] Shimomoto
    Speak for yourself! You're the ones that got caught!
[08:30] Kagura
    I prefer a little stronger flavor!
[08:34] Puu
    You listen to us!
[08:35] Shinpachi
    Hey, you guys! Give us back Katoken's contract!
[08:39] Kariya
    Huh?
[08:40] Puu
    What are you talking about?
[08:41] Puu
    You're telling us you guys came all this way just for that?
[08:44] Shinpachi
    So what if we did?
[08:48] Kariya
    It looks like Shishimura overestimated them.
[08:52] Shihsimura
    Sorry about that.
[08:53] Kariya
    Let's go. We don't have much time.
[08:55] Shishimura
    But what should I do with these guys?
[08:56] Kariya
    Just throw them out.
[09:00] Puu
    Don't worry, Kato.
[09:02] Puu
    Soon, you won't have to worry about your house or anything else.
[09:05] Shimomoto
    You'll get flattened in here anyway.
[09:10] Kato
    Flattened?
[09:13] Announce
    Course gate open!
[09:14] Announce
    Higashi-Murayama One, prepare for launch.
[09:17] Announce
    Higashi-Murayama One, prepare for launch.
[09:22] Kariya
    Let's go!
[09:24] Shishimura
    Roger!
[09:41] Kariya
    Enjoy this view while you can.
[09:43] Kariya
    This is your last view of Edo.
[09:51] Shinpachi
    It's no use!
[09:52] Shinpachi
    Help me, you guys!
[09:55] Gintoki
    Hey, Kagura! Go help him.
[09:57] Gintoki
    You're from the Yato clan, aren't you?
[09:58] Kagura
    I ain't falling for that.
[10:00] Kagura
    I won't move until I finish all the food.
[10:03] Shinpachi
    Geez.
[10:05] Shinpachi
    Elizabeth!
[10:07] Shinpachi
    What are you doing here?
[10:08] Gintoki
    Ah, Zura must be here, right?
[10:11] Katsura
    It's not Zura. It's Katsura.
[10:13] Katsura
    While you guys were living it up, we snuck in the back.
[10:18] Katsura
    And we found something in the safe.
[10:21] Gintoki
    What? Did you find it? Is that Katoken's contract?
[10:24] Katsura
    I don't know anything about that. But look at this.
[10:28] Gintoki
    I would, but... I'm having a hard time with small print.
[10:32] Katsura
    What do you think about these documents, Gintoki?
[10:36] Gintoki
    I have no idea.
[10:38] Katsuya
    Then let me explain.
[10:40] Katsuya
    They intend to raze Edo to the ground.
[10:43] Gintoki
    What?!
[10:44] Kagura
    They'll have a rave in Edo?
[10:45] Shinpachi
    He said "raze," stupid!
[10:48] Katsura
    Let me give you a brief explanation.
[10:51] Katsura
    They discovered an earthquake fault line
[10:56] Katsura
    and they stimulated that point with an Amanto-made device.
[10:59] Katsura
    It will cause a giant artificial earthquake.
[11:02] Katsura
    And Edo will be destroyed!
[11:05] Katoken
    Oh, no...
[11:07] Gintoki
    That sounds like some kind of evil anime organization.
[11:10] Shinpachi
    But why would they do something like that?
[11:12] Katsura
    Those people who were with Kariya are land sharks.
[11:15] Katsura
    They snatch up homes lost by others.
[11:20] Gintoki
    And their goal is the old city?
[11:22] Katsura
    Buildings that weren't constructed by Amanto are not very strong.
[11:25] Katsura
    If a big earthquake hits, they'll collapse in a moment.
[11:29] Shinpachi
    Oh no! Edo will...
[11:31] Gintoki
    But we don't know where the point is.
[11:35] Shinpachi
    Aren't there any clues?
[11:37] Katsura
    Well, unfortunately...
[11:39] Shinpachi
    So what do we do now?
[11:41] Shinpachi
    We don't have time to find the land sharks in Edo!
[11:48] Gintoki
    Kagura! You've had enough food, right?
[11:50] Gintoki
    Break us out of this cage!
[11:51] Kagura
    You got it!
[11:56] Shinpachi
    Why didn't you do this earlier?!
[11:59] Gintoki
    Katoken!
[12:00] Katoken
    Y-Yes!
[12:01] Gintoki
    Where is your house?
[12:05] Katsura
    Hey, Gintoki!
[12:07] Katsura
    Where are you going?
[12:08] Katsura
    It's dangerous if you go alone!
[12:10] Gintoki
    I know, but we still have to go!
[12:13] Gintoki
    See you, Zura.
[12:14] Katsura
    It's not Zura! It's Katsura!
[12:16] Shinpachi
    Gin! What's going on?
[12:18] Gintoki
    Basically, their goal is to clear the land in Edo and then sell it at a higher price.
[12:24] Sinpachi
    Right...
[12:25] Gintoki
    Then why did they clear Katoken's house first?
[12:30] Shinpachi
    Well...
[12:32] Shinpachi
    I got it!
[12:33] Shinpachi
    It's the earthquake fault line!
[12:34] Gintoki
    That's right.
[12:36] Shinpachi
    So he's fired and cheated and has his house taken away ...
[12:39] Gintoki
    All part of their plan.
[12:41] Shinpachi
    That's terrible!
[12:42] Gintoki
    Anyway, let's go!
[12:44] Shinpachi
    Yah!
[12:44] Katoken
    Um...
[12:47] Gintoki
    What is it?
[12:47] Gintoki
    If you have something to say, say it now!
[12:50] Shinpachi
    Right!
[12:51] Shinpachi
    We have no time to lose.
[12:53] Katoken
    Then I say... We're going the wrong direction.
[12:57] Gintoki
    What?!
[13:01] Kariya
    So, this is the Drift Star earthquake machine, hehe!
[13:08] Puu
    And this device will realize Mr. Kariya's ambition!
[13:11] Shimomoto
    Our time will come soon.
[13:15] Kariya
    Begin!
[13:15] Shimomoto
    All right!
[13:25] Shimomoto
    Rock drilling beam activated!
[13:27] Shimomoto
    Ten minutes to reach the target!
[13:31] Kariya
    Go! No one can stop us!
[13:34] Samurai Guards
    Intruders! Get them!
[13:36] Kariya
    What?
[13:39] Kondo
    This is a raid!
[13:40] Hijikata
    We're the Shinsengumi! Calm yourselves!
[13:44] Shishimura
    Government dogs!
[13:50] Kondo
    Oh, so you're ready to take on the Shinsengumi?
[13:52] Kondo
    Interesting.
[13:54] Kondo
    I'm Isao Kondo!
[13:56] Hijikata
    Toshiro Hijikata!
[13:59] Okita
    Sogo Okita!
[14:01] Kondo
    Let's go!
[14:04] Kariya
    Hold it right there!
[14:07] Kondo
    What did you say? No, you hold it!
[14:11] Kariya
    Let me spell it out for you.
[14:13] Kariya
    This is Drift Star territory.
[14:15] Puu
    If you take a single step into this house, it'll be an international incident.
[14:20] Hijikata
    Damn it! Extraterritoriality, huh?
[14:22] Kondo
    Crap!
[14:24] Kondo
    Anyway, what's extraterritoriality?
[14:27] Puu
    If you want to get into the house, you need to go through official procedures.
[14:35] Hijikata
    Sogo, what are you doing?
[14:37] Okita
    Well, if I tore down this house, we could go inside, right?
[14:41] Hijikata
    Are you Mr. Ikkyu or something?
[14:43] Shishimura
    Feh... If you understand, then you'd better leave.
[14:52] Gintoki
    Thanks for the assistance! Make way for the star!
[14:55] Kondo
    That's...
[14:56] Hijikata
    Odd Jobs?
[14:57] Shishimura
    He's here...
[14:59] Gintoki
    Leave the rest to us!
[15:01] Kagura
    Hocha!
[15:02] Gintoki
    Odd Jobs Gin will take care of the problem!
[15:06] Kagura
    Hocha!
[15:07] Yamazaki
    I see. He can do whatever he likes!
[15:10] Samurai A
    I'm addicted...
[15:15] Puu
    Mr. Kariya, let's go inside.
[15:17] Gintoki
    Wait!
[15:20] Shishimura
    It's time you and I settled this.
[15:22] Gintoki
    Huh, stop playing the role of my rival, Mr. Sideshow!
[15:26] Shishimura
    You!
[15:33] Shimomoto
    Five minutes until we reach the target!
[15:35] Kariya
    Good. Allow it to approach the epicenter and pull out!
[15:38] Shimomoto
    Right!
[15:39] Kariya
    Machine, surface!
[15:45] Kagura
    An Earthquake?
[15:46] Shinpachi
    Did they already...?
[16:03] Gintoki
    What?
[16:04] Shinpachi
    What the hell is this contraption? It could destroy the world!
[16:06] Kagura
    This is too much, even for a special two-part episode!
[16:10] Gintoki
    So this is the device that Zura was talking about?
[16:16] Kariya
    Excellent. Our plan is on the verge of success.
[16:21] Shinpachi
    No! Edo will...
[16:26] Gintoki
    Shinpachi!
[16:28] Shishimura
    You'll have to fight me.
[16:30] Gintoki
    You...
[16:34] Shimomoto
    Three minutes until we reach the target!
[16:39] Katoken
    M-My house...
[16:41] Kariya
    What?
[16:42] Shinpachi
    Katoken!
[16:43] Samurai A
    Dumbass! Why did you leave him alone?
[16:46] Samurai B
    Well, he looked really sick.
[16:48] Gintoki
    Go, Katoken! Stop them!
[16:51] Katoken
    B-But...
[16:58] Kariya
    I'll cut you down.
[17:03] Katoken
    I-I...
[17:05] Gintoki
    Don't run away!
[17:08] Gintoki
    You have to change first, or nothing else will!
[17:12] Katoken
    ...Change...?
[17:14] Gintoki
    You can't run away!
[17:16] Gintoki
    Especially from those things you really want to forget!
[17:38] Daughter
    Daddy...
[17:44] Katoken
    I...
[17:46] Katoken
    I...will change!
[17:53] Katoken
    If I suppress my inner "self", my face will look just like Antonio Inoki's!
[17:56] Kariya
    What?
[17:56] Katoken
    How are you?
[17:58] Kariya
    You're bluffing!
[17:59] Katoken
    Keep my elbow to my side and just strike...
[18:05] Katoken
    Strike!
[18:09] Kariya
    Oh, this sucks!
[18:13] Kagura
    It worked!
[18:15] Puu
    Mr. Kariya!
[18:17] Shimomoto
    Help him!
[18:22] Kagura
    I'm so proud of my student! He's become really strong!
[18:25] Shinpachi
    Kagura, you taught him to jab, not strike.
[18:28] Gintoki
    What are you doing, Katoken?
[18:30] Gintoki
    Go and stop the earthquake machine now!
[18:31] Katoken
    A-All right!
[18:36] Katoken
    Um...
[18:37] Katoken
    Is this it?
[18:46] Katoken
    Fifty seconds left?! But the speed was doubled, so there's only twenty-five seconds left!
[18:50] Shinpachi
    Hurry! Just stop it!
[18:53] Katoken
    Um... Is this it?
[18:54] Katoken
    Or this...?
[18:56] Katoken
    This must be it!
[19:00] Kato
    It broke!
[19:01] Shinpachi
    I knew that would happen! It broke!
[19:05] Shishimura
    Wait!
[19:06] Shishimura
    We didn't finish our fight yet!
[19:08] Gintoki
    Shut up, you flunkie! I don't have time to waste on you!
[19:11] Shishimura
    One hit and I'm down?
[19:18] Gintoki
    Stop!
[19:25] Katoken
    I-It stopped...
[19:27] Gintoki
    Hey, let's get out of here!
[19:29] Katoken
    A-All right!
[19:34] Kagura
    Yahoo!
[19:35] Shinpachi
    They did it!
[19:39] Kondo
    Hey, you know if you take a single step across that line you're no longer on foreign soil, right?
[19:47] Katsura
    Gintoki did a great job.
SIGN    ["Buy a car."]
[19:50] Katsura
    My side hurts.
[19:58] Katoken
    Our... house...
[20:04] Katoken
    Sakata...
[20:05] Gintoki
    Don't worry about your house.
[20:08] Katoken
    But...
[20:11] Gintoki
    You've changed, right?
[20:14] Katoken
    Yes!
[20:22] Shinpachi
    It's Kuromi of Yamatoya!
[20:26] Gintoki
    Hey, you stupid cat, wait!
SIGN    [Odd Jobs Gin]
[20:37] Gintoki
    Why can't I have a Bankai or something like that.
[20:41] Kagura
    Gin, look at the TV!
[20:44] Katoken
    Samba! Oh, Katoken samba!
[20:49] Gintoki
    Hey, can this be...
[20:50] Kagura
    That's it! That's Katoken!
[20:53] Shinpachi
    Oh, yeah, Katoken's gaining popularity as a dancing enka singer.
[20:59] Gintoki
    Oh?
[21:06] Gintoki
    He looks so happy!
SIGN    ["To everyone at Odd Jobs Gin: I have my family back. Thanks a lot! -Kato"]
SIGN    
[22:51] Shinpachi
    One year ago, I met this man.
[22:54] Shinpachi
    He was too delicate to be a samurai
[22:57] Shinpachi
    and his eyes were too honest for him to be a gangster.
[23:01] Shinpachi
    The next episode:
[23:02] Shinpachi
    "Nobody with Naturally Wavy Hair Can Be That Bad."
[23:28] Sachan
    I forgot I was in the second part of the show.