E270 - A Mirror Provides a Frozen Reflection of Both Your Beautiful and Ugly Sides
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[01:49] Kag
What's with the morning sickness?
[01:51] Kag
So annoying. Scoot.
[01:55] Kag
Where's the toothpaste?
[01:57] Gin
In your hand.
[02:00] Kag
Not this. The new tube.
[02:01] Gin
That one's still usable.
[02:06] Kag
It's all empty.
[02:07] Kag
You used the last bit.
[02:09] Gin
Then...
[02:11] Gin
Fill it with water.
[02:13] Kag
This isn't Setsuko's can of fruit drops.
[02:15] Gin
You should learn from her and
try taking some runny dumps.
[02:20] Gin
It doesn't matter what you brush
your teeth with anyway.
[02:23] Gin
All right. You can use some
of my Tsubakiki Shampoo.
[02:27] Kag
My poop really will be runny.
[02:29] Gin
What's your problem? Bitching and
whining first thing in the morning...
[02:34] Gin
I'm hungover here.
[02:36] Gin
What will it take to satisfy
you, Your Highness?
[02:39] Kag
Vidal Hahhoon.
[02:42] Gin
Fine.
[02:45] Gin
Here's some money. Go buy—
[02:47] Kag
Woohoo!
[02:49] Gin
Hey! Don't you dare!
[02:51] Gin
Buy toothpaste!
[02:56] Gin
That's weird.
[02:59] Gin
Did we always have a mirror here?
[03:03] Kag
I'm off!
[03:04] Kag
Hold it right there, Kagura!
[03:19] Sac
That was close!
SIGN A Mirror Provides a Frozen Reflection
of Both Your Beautiful and Ugly Sides
SIGN I got some repair work done while you guys were out, so don't touch the mirror - Otose
[03:27] Sac
This note...
[03:29] Sac
I really should stick it in
a more noticeable place.
SIGN I got some repair work done while you guys were out, so don't touch the mirror - Otose
[03:34] Sac
Perfect.
[03:37] Sac
At last, my home,
[03:39] Sac
the mecca where I get to observe,
long-term, Gin-san's knapsack,
[03:42] Sac
my very own 1LGK, is complete!
[03:46] Sac
There aren't many properties
with a view this good!
[03:48] Sac
From this magic mirror,
[03:50] Sac
I can ogle every last bit of him, from
the back of his **** to the tip of his !
[03:54] Sac
Ah, I'm starting to get hot
just thinking about it...
[03:58] Sac
He's back!
[04:02] Sac
You can bare it all, Gin-san.
[04:05] Sac
This mirror exists to freeze
that moment in time!
[04:08] Shin
Huh?
[04:10] Shin
Gin-san?
[04:10] Sac
What, it's just the glasses hanger? Get lost!
[04:11] Shin
Kagura-chan? Where are you?
[04:15] Shin
Huh?
[04:16] Shin
A mirror?
[04:17] Shin
Wow, when did she get repairs done?
[04:21] Shin
Well, yeah, I guess we do use
the kitchen as a washroom.
[04:25] Sac
Yes, thanks for that explanation.
Now will Yamcha please exit the stage?
[04:28] Shin
I wonder if they'll notice I got a haircut.
[04:30] Sac
But nothing's changed.
Nobody's gonna notice, for sure.
[04:34] Shin
Did I get too adventurous this time?
[04:36] Sac
I'm not seeing where you
went on an adventure.
[04:38] Sac
You haven't set one foot outside your home.
[04:41] Sac
Uh, what's the deal? Aren't you done yet?
[04:44] Sac
Enough with the 45 degree angle already!
[04:46] Sac
You're pissing me off!
[04:49] Shin
All right.
[04:51] Sac
He finally left.
[04:53] Sac
I had to see a pointless side
of a pointless guy there.
[04:58] Sac
Somebody's here!
[05:00] Sac
Enough already, damn it!
[05:03] Shin
What the hell?!
[05:04] Sac
What the hell is your problem?!
[05:07] Shin
Who are you calling Tom Cruise?!
[05:08] Shin
We just share the same hairstyle!
[05:09] Sac
You're never gonna get a
chance to use that retort!
[05:12] Shin
I only look like him from a 45 degree angle!
[05:15] Sac
Nobody's gonna notice!
You haven't changed one bit!
[05:17] Shin
Don't get me in trouble!
[05:18] Shin
All right.
[05:19] Sac
Are you done now?
[05:20] Shin
Bed hair, all good.
[05:21] Shin
Nostril hair, all good.
[05:22] Shin
Unshaven spots, all good.
[05:24] Sac
Yeah, yeah. Don't worry.
[05:25] Sac
Nobody pays that much attention
to you, you pre-pubescent virgin.
[05:31] Shin
Chest hair, all good.
[05:33] Sac
All good, my ass!
[05:35] Sac
Why is a virgin so shaggy?!
[05:35] Shin
Who knows what they'd say if they saw this.
[05:36] Sac
For such a paper-thin character,
he sure has some thick body hair!
[05:40] Shin
Maybe I should give permanent
hair removal a shot.
[05:43] Sac
I saw something I shouldn't have.
[05:45] Sac
This is Shinpachi-kun's true form.
[05:49] Sac
The name "Shinpachi-kun"
doesn't fit him anymore.
[05:51] Sac
I can only see him as Wakadaisho!
[05:53] Kag
I'm back.
[05:57] Sac
Wakadaisho!
[06:00] Kag
What are you doing?
[06:02] Shin
N-Nothing.
[06:04] Shin
I wanted to drink some Fanda
Grape, but it burst out.
[06:08] Shin
A-Anyway, weren't you with Gin-san?
[06:11] Kag
Don't ask me.
[06:12] Shin
I-I see.
[06:14] Shin
That won't do, Kagura-chan.
[06:16] Shin
You shouldn't go out
without washing your face.
[06:18] Kag
Oh, I forgot.
[06:20] Shin
Girls need to be careful
about their appearance.
[06:24] Sac
He made it through!
[06:25] Sac
Why do I have to go through such
a nerve-racking experience?
[06:30] Kag
Eye crap, all good.
[06:31] Kag
Nose crap, all good.
[06:32] Kag
Teeth crap, all good.
[06:33] Sac
Now it's your turn?
SIGN I got some repair work done while you guys were out, so don't touch the mirror - Otose
[06:35] Sac
As if a heroine could ever
have stuff like that.
[06:39] Kag
Oops.
[06:40] Kag
I forgot about the pole of crap.
[06:44] Sac
Something very unbecoming of a
heroine just burst out of her ass!
[06:48] Kag
I have to shampoo this, too.
[06:50] Sac
Wait, is that...
[06:51] Sac
A tail?!
[06:53] Sac
This girl has a tail?!
[06:55] Sac
270 episodes in, and this
shocking truth comes to light?!
[06:59] Kag
It'd really suck if people saw this.
[07:02] Kag
They'd definitely call it a pole of crap.
[07:04] Kag
Maybe I should give permanent
hair removal a shot.
[07:06] Sac
Uh, will permanent hair
removal even work on that?
[07:09] Kag
But without this, I wouldn't
be able to braid my hair...
[07:12] Sac
That's how you braided it?
[07:14] Kag
Or transform when I see the moon...
[07:17] Sac
She could transform?!
[07:19] Kag
Or wrap it around my waist like a
belt when I put on my combat suit.
[07:24] Sac
I'd heard she belonged to a warrior race,
[07:26] Sac
but I had no idea they were the real deal!
[07:28] Sac
The name "Kagura-chan"
doesn't fit her anymore.
[07:30] Sac
I can only see her as Kakarot!
[07:34] Sac
What am I to do?
[07:36] Sac
One after the other...
[07:38] Sac
How am I supposed to take these revelations?
[07:42] Gin
I'm back.
[07:44] Sac
Kakarot!
[07:49] Gin
What are you doing?
[07:51] Kag
N-Nothing.
[07:53] Kag
I just drank some Fanda Grape,
and it started bursting out of my ass.
[07:57] Kag
I-I put the Vidal Hahhoon
and toothpaste over there.
[08:01] Gin
H-Hey.
[08:03] Kag
Also, I bought you some hangover
medicine, so don't forget to take it.
[08:11] Sac
You guys forgot to take
something far more important!
[08:14] Sac
And now it looks like something outrageous!
[08:16] Sac
Another two dragonballs and
Shenron will show up here!
[08:19] Sac
It's over!
[08:20] Sac
You guys will be exposed for sure!
[08:22] Sac
Ah, how wrong I was.
[08:26] Sac
I shouldn't have witnessed their true selves.
[08:32] Sac
I never wanted to see the bond
that Odd Jobs had fall apart.
[08:39] Gin
Those guys...
[08:41] Gin
They were hiding something like this from me?
[08:44] Gin
Sheesh.
[08:45] Gin
Did they seriously think I hadn't noticed?
[08:49] Sac
Don't tell me, Gin-san...
[08:51] Sac
You knew?
[08:52] Sac
You knew everything and had
long since accepted it all?
[08:56] Gin
You guys...
[09:00] Gin
I knew long ago that you'd realized
[09:03] Gin
I wear a wig.
[09:08] Gin
Thanks for this wonderful present,
[09:11] Gin
for accepting me as I am.
[09:14] Gin
What am I supposed to use this for?
[09:16] Gin
Oh, I get it.
[09:18] Gin
I have been really thinning
down there lately.
[09:21] Gin
So this is how it's used.
[09:23] Gin
Yeah.
[09:25] Gin
Lookin' pretty good—
[09:35] Sac
P-Pardon the intrujin.
[09:46] Gin
A mirror also reflects
your ugly side as it is.
[09:52] Gin
While she was watching us, she was also
taking a long, hard look at herself...
[09:57] Gin
The ugly sight of her peeping at
things people wanted to keep hidden.
[10:01] Shin
Uh...
[10:02] Shin
No matter how you look at it,
we were the ones exposing ourselves.
[10:05] Kag
Well, I hope she learned her lesson.
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose
[10:08] Gin
At the very least, she won't be able
to look in a mirror for a while.
[10:27] Gin
The hell are you doing?
[10:30] Sac
Have I become a mirror of your true self now?
[10:34] Sac
Tee-hee.
[10:35] Gin
I don't wear glasses.
SIGN Special Police
Shinsengumi
SIGN Special Service Award Yamazaki Sagaru
SIGN Special Service Award Yamazaki Sagaru
[10:49] G
Looks like Yamazaki did some good
work and got recognized by the brass.
[10:54] G
Guess he really is cut out to be an inspector.
[10:57] G
He's truly an inspector among inspectors.
[11:00] G
But, you know,
[11:02] G
I've been wondering for a while...
[11:04] G
What exactly do inspectors do?
[11:09] G
I've heard their job is to eat anpan 24/7.
[11:12] G
Nah, it's all about badminton.
[11:14] G
What? Really?
[11:16] G
That's what inspectors do?
[11:18] G
Basically, it's mundane work assigned to
mediocre guys with no particular talents.
[11:24] G
Ah, I see.
[11:26] G
No wonder Yamazaki's a good fit.
[11:30] Ymz
Damn it all!
[11:33] Ymz
Nobody understands what I go through!
[11:37] Ymz
Sure, inspectors handle boring,
behind-the-scenes tasks like stakeouts and recon.
[11:42] Ymz
But if it weren't for us
laying the groundwork,
[11:44] Ymz
those guys who do the actual field work
wouldn't be able to do anything!
SIGN Spies don't get any days off this year either!!
SIGN Available for Rental Starting 5/6 (Thu)
SIGN Spy Works Collection
[11:51] Ymz
Maybe I should become a spy, too.
[11:54] Att
I'm very sorry.
[11:56] Att
Your license seems to have expired,
so we can't issue you a membership card.
[12:00] Zen
Ack. I forgot to go renew it.
[12:04] Zen
What a pain.
[12:05] Zen
Do I really have to visit that
training institute again?
[12:13] Ymz
W-Wait a second!
[12:16] Ymz
S-Sorry, just wondering...
[12:18] Ymz
Where can I get one of those ninja licenses?
SIGN Hattori Zenzo Birthday: 8/22 School: Iga
Valid until 9/22 Former Leader of the Oniwaban
SIGN Current Occupation: Freelance Jonin
SIGN Ninja License
SIGN Oedo Ninja Association
SIGN Nobody Likes the Photo on Their License
SIGN Oedo Ninja Training Institute
[12:31] W
My, how unusual.
[12:34] W
You don't see a lot of people applying
for ninja licenses these days.
SIGN Reception
[12:38] W
Let me make this clear first.
[12:39] W
Becoming a ninja doesn't
mean you'll be able to use
[12:41] W
stuff like the Rasengan or chakra, okay?
[12:45] Ymz
O-Okay.
[12:46] W
Write down your name and address here.
[12:48] Ymz
Okay!
[12:50] Ymz
Now I can really show those guys.
[12:52] Ymz
Ninjas are experts at espionage,
[12:54] Ymz
so if I can get a license...
[12:57] Ymz
But this place...
SIGN Be careful not to use ninjutsu and genjutsu illegally.
SIGN You can be a ninja too!
SIGN Ninja tools on sale
[12:59] Ymz
Is it really legit?
SIGN Nightingale-Flooring Room
[13:02] Zen
What course are you gonna go for?
[13:04] Ymz
Wait, there are multiple courses?
[13:06] Zen
Yeah.
SIGN Genin Course
[13:09] Zen
The genin course is basically
like getting a moped license.
[13:12] Zen
You can complete it in a day.
[13:13] Ymz
What? You can become a ninja in a day?
SIGN Chunin Course
[13:16] Zen
The chunin course is like
a motorbike license,
SIGN Jonin Course
[13:18] Zen
and the jonin course is like a regular,
automatic transmission vehicle license.
SIGN Hokage Course
[13:22] Zen
The Hokage course is a bit tricky.
[13:24] Zen
It's the same as a manual
transmission vehicle license.
[13:26] Ymz
Aren't you taking the Hokage too lightly?!
[13:29] Ymz
There's a limit to taking it easy!
[13:31] Ymz
What did Naruto and friends
put in all that effort for?!
[13:33] Zen
Well, if all you want is a license,
the genin course should do.
[13:37] Ymz
It doesn't feel special at all anymore.
SIGN Reception
[13:41] W
Zen-chan, I take it you
want your license renewed?
[13:43] Zen
Yeah.
[13:44] Zen
I had a gold license, but I got
hit with a speeding ticket.
[13:48] W
You're too light on your feet.
[13:51] Ymz
Even ninjas can get speeding tickets?
[13:53] Ymz
Is it against the law to run too fast?!
[13:56] W
One moment.
[13:56] W
I'll go see if any instructors are free.
[14:01] W
Hey, Gramps.
[14:04] W
Some kids are here for training.
[14:06] G
K-Knock before you open the door, you hag!
[14:09] W
What's wrong with you?!
[14:10] W
Are you watching A Kunoichi's
Porn Diaries again?!
[14:13] W
Didn't I tell you to stop because
it's bad for your health?
[14:16] W
Anyway, what do we do?
[14:17] W
How are you gonna teach two at once?
[14:18] G
Sh-Shut up!
[14:20] G
I'll just teach them using the clone technique!
[14:23] W
I threw your clone in the trash
because was busted and leaking air!
[14:27] G
Who said you could do that, you shitty hag?!
[14:30] G
My Kunoichi III!
[14:36] G
There you have it.
[14:37] G
You two will be going through joint training.
[14:41] Ymz
Uh, Zenzo-san.
[14:44] Ymz
Is this place really okay?
[14:46] Zen
No need to worry.
[14:48] G
Let's get this over with.
Report to the garden at once.
[14:48] Zen
Despite what he looks like,
[14:50] Zen
that geezer was a trusted
friend of my father,
[14:52] Zen
the former Oniwaban leader.
[14:53] Zen
His ninjutsu skills are top-notch.
[14:57] G
Uh...
[15:00] G
You'll now be taking the ninja course.
[15:06] G
All right, you two.
[15:07] G
First make sure it's safe,
and then get on your ride.
[15:13] Ymz
Excuse me, Sensei.
[15:15] Ymz
I don't see anything safe about this!
[15:18] G
Don't you want a license?
[15:19] G
Hurry up and get on.
[15:21] Ymz
I didn't come here to get a toad license!
[15:24] G
What? Didn't you want a ninja
light vehicle license?
[15:29] G
Heavy vehicle, then?
[15:31] Ymz
Not the Nine-Tails, either!
[15:33] G
Oh, sorry.
[15:34] G
It wasn't the Hokage course?
[15:36] G
In that case, dodge the
dumbbells and eat the chikuwa!
[15:39] Ymz
Not Hattori-kun, either!
[15:43] G
Er...
[15:45] G
Let's start with training your legs.
[15:49] G
Since time immemorial, ninjas have strived
to achieve superhuman leg strength.
[15:54] G
And this is one of the training
methods they devised.
[15:58] G
You plant an asagi seed
[16:01] G
and jump over it every day.
[16:04] G
Asagi grows quickly.
[16:06] G
In a few months, it'll grow taller
than the roofs of buildings.
[16:10] Ymz
Oh, I've heard of this training.
[16:13] Ymz
But since I opted for the genin license,
I only get to take lessons for one day.
[16:17] G
Don't worry.
[16:19] G
Our Asagi grows even faster.
[16:22] G
Right, Asagi?
[16:24] Ymz
Isn't that just the hag from reception?!
[16:27] G
Our Asagi grows at an incredible rate.
[16:30] G
Despite being a genin,
[16:31] G
her clerical efficiency helped
her rise to the position
[16:34] G
of Oniwaban's accountant in no time.
[16:36] G
Isn't that right, Asagi?
[16:38] Ymz
Okay, so she climbed the ladder to success
real fast, but she's old and withered now!
[16:43] Ymz
She's just a hag!
[16:45] Zen
Gramps.
[16:46] Zen
I don't think this is gonna work as training.
[16:48] Zen
Jumping over her is too easy.
[16:50] G
What are you talking about?
[16:52] G
Asagi has a lot left in her yet!
[16:54] G
Nobody can stop her!
[16:57] G
Isn't that right, Asagi?
[17:01] G
She's not anywhere close to being done.
[17:05] G
In fact, she hasn't even begun.
[17:12] G
Isn't that right, Asagi?
[17:14] Ymz
This really is endless Asagi! What the hell?!
[17:17] G
This is the clone technique.
[17:18] G
It's the only way to gain superhuman
leaping ability in one day.
[17:24] Ymz
She grew so much, she's ultimately
returned to the earth!
[17:31] Ymz
The Asagis turned into dominoes!
[17:38] G
Asagi!
[17:41] Zen
Ninjas leap over walls because
it requires the least effort.
[17:46] Zen
But breaking through a wall that would
[17:48] Zen
take too much effort to leap over
is also a ninja technique.
[17:50] Ymz
That just ruined the whole effect!
[17:53] W
That's Zen-chan for you.
[17:55] W
You incited my self-destruction and
broke through the wall from the inside.
[18:00] W
You truly are the boss's son.
[18:02] W
Become a fine ninja...
[18:05] Ymz
There isn't a single fine ninja in the place!
[18:09] G
Well done, you two.
[18:11] G
I never thought you'd take Asagi down.
[18:14] G
Here's your reward!
[18:15] G
I'll now throw Asagi and chikuwa at you!
[18:17] G
Dodge the Asagi and eat the chikuwa!
[18:22] Ymz
Pick up poor Asagi!
[18:25] G
Let's move on to the next task.
[18:27] G
You must now hide in this pond.
[18:29] Ymz
Ah, the water-escape tactic, right?
[18:32] Ymz
The one where you hide underwater
and use a bamboo pole to breathe?
[18:35] G
No.
[18:38] G
You must hide underwater and
use Asagi's hole to breathe.
[18:42] Ymz
Why her hole?!
[18:44] G
There's no guarantee you'll always
have a bamboo pole in an emergency.
[18:47] G
Isn't that right, Asagi?
[18:49] Ymz
Always having an Asagi around
would be even weirder!
[18:51] G
It's basically the same
as using a bamboo pole.
[18:54] G
Asagi will put her head above
the surface and take in oxygen.
[18:57] G
You two must take that oxygen from her ass.
[19:00] Ymz
That's not oxygen! It's poison gas!
[19:02] G
You mustn't resurface until
I call out to you, okay?
[19:06] G
Begin!
[19:12] Ymz
No way.
[19:13] Ymz
Even if it'll get me a license,
[19:15] Ymz
I'm not going mouth-to-mouth with that!
[19:20] Zen
That so?
[19:22] Zen
Then make do with my gas.
[19:31] Zen
Through me...
[19:34] Zen
And through you...
[19:45] Zen
That's three people's worth!
[19:50] G
Asagi!
[19:55] G
Y-You stink!
[19:57] G
Ew!
[19:59] Zen
You just called out "you,"
didn't you, Gramps?
[20:01] Ymz
What kinda solution is that?!
[20:05] W
I never thought you'd use that as a weapon.
[20:09] W
Brilliant.
[20:10] W
Become a fine ninja...
[20:13] Ymz
You know, the key to that
lethal weapon was your fart!
[20:18] G
Well done. Here's your reward!
[20:20] G
I'll now throw Asagi!
[20:22] G
Stand there and watch!
[20:24] Ymz
That's nothing but domestic violence!
[20:27] G
I didn't expect you to be this good.
[20:29] G
You have far too much talent
to stay a mere genin.
[20:33] Ymz
Um...
[20:34] Ymz
All I did was fart, pretty much.
[20:36] G
But here's your final task.
[20:39] G
If you don't clear this, you
won't get your genin license.
[20:43] G
Ninjas must, at all times,
believe in themselves alone.
[20:46] G
No matter what their mission,
they must be prepared to turn
[20:48] G
their heart to stone in order
to fulfill their objective.
[20:51] G
Even if it were
[20:55] G
a mission to kill their own master.
[21:00] Ymz
D-Don't tell me...
[21:02] W
Gramps, you...
[21:05] G
That's right.
[21:06] G
Your final task
[21:09] G
is to kill Asagi—
[21:20] W
Here's your final task.
[21:24] W
I'll now throw Gramps, chikuwa,
and a license at you.
[21:28] W
Choose what you want and pick it up.
SIGN Yamazaki Sagaru Birthday: 2/6 School: Iga
Valid until 3/6 Eats a lot of anpan during stakeouts.
SIGN Genin
SIGN Ninja License
SIGN Oedo Ninja Association
[21:32] Ymz
Ask yourself.
[21:33] Ymz
What was it that you wanted?
[21:38] Ymz
Here we go!
SIGN Special Service Award Yamazaki Sagaru
[21:43] G
Hey, apparently Yamazaki earned
some kind of distinction again!
[21:47] G
Same old boring inspector
work again, though, right?
[21:50] G
Nah, I heard he rounded up a bunch
of bad guys all on his own this time.
[21:54] G
Huh?
[21:55] G
What the...
[21:56] G
What happened to him?
[21:59] G
Yamazaki!
[22:00] G
Congrats on a job well done!
Give us the whole story.
[22:03] G
How about joining us for a meal?
[22:08] Ymz
I'm good.
SIGN Ninja Hattari-san
[22:10] Ymz
I've got chikuwa to eat.
SIGN Arriving Late to a Reunion
Makes it Hard to Enter
[23:45] Gin
Next Episode: "Arriving Late to a
Reunion Makes it Hard to Enter."
SIGN Next week, we have a Joi rebels reunion,
SIGN with an all-star cast making appearances!
SIGN It's organized by...
SIGN N-
SIGN N-No way...
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