E352 - Peace and Destruction Are Two Sides of the Same Coin

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Watch the Silver Soul Arc in a bright room
    and at a safe distance from your TV!!
[00:17] Shin
    The Liberation Army...
[00:21] Shin
    ...retreated!
[00:30] Kag
    We win!
SIGN    Gintama
SIGN    Silver Soul
[01:56] Hed
    Odd Jobs...
[01:58] Hed
    What are you doing there?
    I was worried sick, you know.
[02:03] Hed
    I couldn't believe what happened to Edo.
[02:05] Hed
    But I believed, because you all...
[02:09] Hed
    ...will be massacred by my hand!
[02:13] Hed
    You're about to experience true fear now.
[02:16] Hed
    Let me tell you about my terrifying plan.
[02:20] Hed
    It involves...
[02:22] Hed
    not just flowers or plants.
[02:24] Hed
    I want to watch over the flower called
    mankind that I found on this planet, too.
[02:29] Hed
    Basically, this planet was a flower
    bed built to be trampled by me.
[02:35] Hed
    I want to bloom with you all as
    one of this planet's flowers.
[02:41] Gin
    M-My hand's stuck!
[02:44] Hed
    And when the flowers reach full bloom,
    this planet will be a garden of peace—
[02:50] Hed
    D-Did you break that seal?!
[02:54] Hed
    It's all over! You humans
    are done for, and so am I!
[02:58] Hed
    And so is this universe!
[03:00] Hed
    It's all ove—
SIGN    New Half Pub 1/2
    Grand Opening
    Chris Matsunosuke
[03:09] Hed
    That was close.
[03:11] Hed
    I'll be sure to repay this favor, humanity!
[03:14] Hed
    Not on my watch.
[03:16] Hed
    As long as I'm here, I won't let
    you do as you please, Hedora!
[03:19] Hed
    It's futile, Hedoro.
[03:21] Hed
    This body and this universe will be
    enveloped in total darkness soon!
[03:24] Gin
    H-He split into halves?
[03:26] Hed
    I'll protect both Earth and humanity.
[03:28] Hed
    I'll destroy both Earth and humanity.
[03:31] Hed
    I won't let you do as you please, Hedora!
[03:32] Shin
    What is even going on there?
[03:34] Kag
    I don't get it either,
[03:34] Hed
    It's futile, Hedoro.
[03:36] Kag
    but they look like they're having fun.
[03:38] Kag
    It's been a while since I've seen that
    kind of look on these people's faces.
[03:43] Kag
    I guess nothing beats peace after all.
[03:46] Shin
    Yeah, you're right.
[03:52] Y
    Now, it's our time to shine.
SIGN    The joy is short-lived.
SIGN    The Yato move out at twilight.
SIGN    Even if it's for just one night,
SIGN    enjoy the peace while it lasts.
SIGN    Silver Soul Arc
SIGN    Peace and Destruction
    Are Two Sides of the Same Coin
[04:12] Oto
    Never thought I'd see the
    day when the Kabuki District
[04:15] Oto
    would be lit up not by neon lights,
    but by moonlight and bonfires.
[04:19] Jir
    This town is noisy all year round. Nights
    like these ain't so bad once in a while.
[04:25] Jir
    If we can see the town bathed in the
    light of dawn next, it'll be perfect.
[04:31] Jir
    We did force them to retreat,
    but it ain't like we won.
[04:35] Jir
    If the enemy force regroups and attacks
    again, we'll be defeated in a flash.
[04:40] Oto
    I didn't think I'd ever hear
    such meek words from you.
[04:45] Oto
    Living a long life has its benefits.
[04:46] Jir
    Did that sound meek to you?
[04:48] Jir
    I guess you've grown hard of hearing.
[04:51] Oto
    It's not such a bad thing.
[04:54] Oto
    The only ones who can complain and whine
    are those who have people they can rely on.
[05:00] Oto
    You've finally grown up, Jirocho.
[05:03] Jir
    Pah! I'd much rather be called
    a senile geezer than that!
[05:08] Sai
    What's this? You two used to
    constantly be at odds,
[05:12] Sai
    but you seem to be enjoying
    each other's company tonight.
[05:18] Sai
    Oh, am I interrupting?
[05:20] Oto
    Not at all, Saigo. I was just thinking
    I'd like to share a drink with you, too.
[05:28] Oto
    I'm actually a bit thankful we're
    in this situation, you know.
[05:32] Oto
    I feel like it has helped me
    like people a little more.
[05:38] Oto
    If it's a night like this, maybe it wouldn't
    be so bad if it turned out to be my last.
[05:56] Jir
    Nah. We haven't drank enough yet.
[06:00] Kag
    Everyone's so beat-up.
[06:03] Shin
    That's no surprise.
[06:05] Shin
    It's a miracle that we even
    drove that huge army back.
[06:10] Shin
    It's not just the people
    of the Kabuki District.
[06:12] Shin
    Everyone in Edo did everything they could,
[06:15] Shin
    as best they could.
[06:17] Shin
    That's probably why this miracle came about.
[06:21] Shin
    All you've been doing is getting in the way!
[06:23] Ged
    Pandemoniums are snacks that help
    with injuries and illnesses.
[06:28] Ged
    Would you like one?
[06:29] Shin
    Seriously, who would eat
    something so grotesque?!
[06:32] Pan
    Sorry. Am I being a nuisance after all?
[06:35] Pan
    I was so worried, I ended up coming along.
[06:38] Pan
    I guess I've become a
    really troublesome woman.
[06:40] Pan
    Sorry. I'll go away now.
[06:43] Shin
    Yeah, you're a nuisance.
[06:44] Shin
    If you're going to disturb my heart
    any further, just be with me forever!
[06:48] Kag
    You're the biggest nuisance here.
[06:49] Tae
    Shin-chan, Kagura-chan.
[06:51] Tae
    Forget about the straight man
    routine and get some rest.
[06:54] Kag
    Boss lady.
[06:55] Tae
    Gedomaru-san and friends volunteered for
    various tasks so that we could all rest.
[07:02] Tae
    They said they're not that tired yet,
[07:04] Tae
    and that they want more screen time since
    they only showed up in the latter stages.
[07:07] Shin
    Don't leak out your real motive at the end!
[07:09] Tae
    Gedomaru-san and gang are tending
    to the wounded and serving food.
[07:12] Shin
    They're going to turn us into food!
[07:14] Tae
    Seimei-san and Doman-san are guarding
    and keeping watch on the town.
[07:17] Sei
    My watchmen are scarier!
[07:19] Dom
    What? My watchmen are scarier!
[07:21] Shin
    These watchmen need watchmen of their own!
[07:23] Tae
    Ketsuno Ana is providing assistance
    via prayers and exorcism.
[07:26] Ket
    Tomorrow's weather will be nice and clear.
[07:28] Ket
    The perfect day for war.
[07:29] Shin
    Don't try to start a war!
[07:31] Tae
    If this is the time for everyone
    to do what they're supposed to,
[07:35] Tae
    then what you guys must do right now is rest.
[07:39] Tae
    Forget about everything and get some sleep.
[07:41] G
    B-But I'm worried the enemy
    might return at any time.
[07:45] Tae
    Relax. We're here for you,
    so eat lots and sleep well.
[07:49] Shin
    Sis, they're not sleeping!
    You finished them off!
[07:52] Ged
    Let's put them to sleep with that and
    then stuff Pandemoniums in their mouths.
[07:58] Tae
    That sounds good, too.
[07:59] Shin
    Hey! Why are these hazards to
    humanity feeding everyone?!
[08:02] Shin
    Can anybody bring food
    that's actually edible?!
[08:05] Pan
    You finally spilled the beans.
[08:07] Pan
    In truth, I knew all along
    how you felt about me.
[08:11] Pan
    So I'll confess, too.
[08:14] Pan
    I really wanted you to eat me.
[08:17] Pan
    Bye-bye. I love you.
[08:19] Shin
    Bring me every single Pandemonium
    you've got, right this instant!
[08:23] Kag
    Shinpachi, you seriously
    need to get some rest.
[08:26] Kon
    Really? I'll take you up on
    that offer and rest, then.
[08:31] Kon
    I'm worn out from all the fighting.
[08:35] Kon
    I finally made it back...
[08:38] Kon
    Back to you.
[08:40] Kon
    I'm back, Otae-san.
[08:45] Tae
    W-Welcome back, Kondo-san.
[08:49] Kon
    Otae-san!
[08:51] Tae
    Kondo-san!
[08:52] Tae
    Who're you calling Otae?!
[08:55] Kon
    O-Otae-san? Y-You're being too intense!
[08:58] Kon
    N-No! We can't do this!
[09:00] Shin
    Let go of Pandemonium-san!
[09:02] Tae
    What's with that scene right out of hell?
[09:04] Ged
    It seems the Pandemonium's illusion
    ability worked a bit too well on them.
[09:07] Hij
    What's all this?
[09:09] Hij
    He was saying he had a real chance,
    with the world about to end and all,
[09:13] Hij
    but all of this is no different
    than it has always been.
[09:16] Oki
    What are you saying, Hijikata-san?
[09:19] Oki
    This is what Kondo-san wanted.
[09:23] Oki
    The same old routine.
[09:27] Tae
    Just when the world is about to end,
    you finally return home?
[09:30] Tae
    I see that cops will always be cops.
[09:33] Hij
    Unfortunately, saving the world isn't
    in the police's job description.
[09:36] Hij
    But we have tons of other work to do.
[09:38] Sac
    Pretty much.
[09:40] Sac
    Don't know or care about the world,
[09:43] Sac
    but it looks like we did
    at least protect our home.
[09:48] Tae
    Guys...
[09:51] Tae
    You did well.
[09:53] Kag
    Boss lady, you're talking to the wrong thing.
[09:58] Oto
    So basically,
[09:59] Oto
    the Liberation Army won't be
    back for revenge immediately?
SIGN    Kabuki District
    Four Devas
[10:03] Oto
    You mean we'll be safe for a while?
[10:06] Kon
    They're isolated from
    their main force in space.
[10:09] Kon
    They've lost both their comms
    and their chain of command.
[10:12] Kon
    In this situation, it'll be difficult to
    regroup a force that already crumbled once.
SIGN    Shinsengumi
[10:16] Hij
    They were attacked by the bakufu army while
    on the run, and now they're scattered.
[10:20] Hij
    They don't have it in them
    to switch to attack.
[10:22] Oki
    If anything, this might
    be our chance to attack.
[10:26] Oki
    If we can rob them of their provisions,
[10:28] Oki
    we can watch the enemy crumble
    without having to fight.
[10:31] Zen
    You want us to make the first move?
SIGN    Oniwaban
[10:33] Zen
    If we corner that huge force any more,
    who knows how they'll respond?
[10:39] Zen
    Besides...
[10:40] Zen
    Those unconfirmed reports about another mercenary squad worry me, too.
[10:44] Bim
    This victory was practically a miracle,
SIGN    Yagyuu Chinkage
    School
[10:48] Bim
    and we had to pay a heavy price for it.
[10:51] Bim
    If we want more, we'll have to be
    prepared to sacrifice a lot more, too.
[10:59] Tsu
    We didn't fight to win the war.
[11:02] Tsu
    We fought to stop it.
SIGN    Yoshiwara Defense
    Force Hyakka
[11:04] Tsu
    If we willingly cause more casualties,
[11:07] Tsu
    wouldn't it be the same as siding
    with the Liberation Army?
[11:10] Sei
    Seizing an opportunity is akin to
    grasping a log floating down a river.
SIGN    Onmyoji
    Ketsuno Clan & Shirino Clan
[11:15] Sei
    Being cautious is all well and good,
[11:17] Sei
    but this might be our last shot at victory.
[11:22] Ket
    Brother, are you saying we must fight?
[11:25] Sei
    I'm saying that stopping a war needs
    more resolve than starting one.
[11:29] Kon
    Exactly. Let's fight.
[11:31] Tsu
    But you know...
[11:35] Ged
    How do you feel, Odd Jobs?
[11:37] Ged
    Which option do you think we should choose?
SIGN    Odd Jobs
[11:40] Kag
    I say go with curry.
[11:42] Shin
    Nobody's asking about dinner, Kagura-chan.
[11:46] Shin
    Well, uh...
[11:47] Shin
    I don't understand the complicated stuff,
[11:50] Shin
    but I feel like if we're all together,
    we can work something out either way.
[11:54] Shin
    I'm not afraid of anything.
[11:57] Shin
    I'm just so overwhelmed that all
    of you are fighting alongside us.
[12:02] Shin
    I'm glad I was born in Edo, on Earth...
[12:06] Shin
    Oh, that's not what you
    were asking about, was it?
[12:09] Shin
    Sorry.
[12:11] Gin
    That's not true.
[12:13] Gin
    Compared to the fact that so many people
    have come together for one cause,
[12:18] Gin
    which method we choose
    is but a trivial matter.
[12:22] Gin
    Then we could just
[12:26] Gin
    try launching HEVA.
SIGN    All-Purpose Demonoid Final Battle Weapon
SIGN    Hevandorogon
[12:41] Gin
    What do you think, everyone?
[12:43] Gin
    We're ready.
[12:45] Gin
    We squeezed out a high synchro
    rate and are good to go whenever,
[12:49] Gin
    but we'd like Odd Jobs' opinion.
[12:51] Shin
    You're Odd Jobs, too.
[12:53] Gin
    Should we launch HEVA,
    or should it be on standby?
[12:58] Gin
    How do you feel about HEVA? Do you like it?
[13:00] Shin
    Why have our options been
    whittled down to HEVA alone?
[13:03] Gin
    What do you think, HEVA?
[13:05] Gin
    Hey, HEVA.
[13:07] Gin
    Um, Hedoro-san?
[13:08] Hed
    Who, me? Uh, I think it could work.
[13:12] Shin
    Um, it looks like even he
    doesn't know about HEVA.
[13:16] Hij
    I think it's too early.
    What about you, Kondo-san?
[13:19] Kon
    Well, yeah. I agree with you.
[13:22] Sac
    If he wants to go, just let him.
[13:26] Tsu
    Yes, I agree.
[13:28] Hij
    We'll leave it to you young'uns.
[13:31] Oto
    Do as you please, EVA.
[13:33] G
    Wasn't it HEVA, not EVA?
[13:35] G
    No, wasn't it NOVA?
[13:37] G
    What's HEVA, anyway?
[13:41] Shin
    Nobody knows?!
[13:43] Gin
    Oh, you didn't know?
[13:45] Gin
    I thought everyone knew.
[13:47] Shin
    Like hell they would!
    You haven't explained a thing!
[13:50] Gin
    Can't you tell at a glance?
[13:52] Gin
    Aside from the Liberation Army thing,
[13:54] Gin
    the world was nearly ended seven times
    by the Hedora inside Hedoro-san.
[13:58] Gin
    Isn't it obvious that it was all resolved
    by them turning into HEVA in the end?
[14:01] Shin
    Not even an ESPer could get that!
[14:03] Gin
    Long story short, I realized that we have
    no choice but to use this demon's power.
[14:08] Gin
    We turn humanity's greatest
    threat into its greatest savior
[14:11] Gin
    and hit the Liberation Army with it.
[14:13] Gin
    That's the All-Purpose Demonoid
    Final Battle Weapon, Hevandorogon.
[14:17] Shin
    What kind of preposterous
    monster have you created?!
[14:20] Gin
    Don't worry. Through trial and error,
[14:23] Gin
    I found the perfect way to use both
    the angel's and the demon's powers.
[14:27] Gin
    It can even play the straight man now.
[14:29] Gin
    Try playing the fool.
[14:31] Shin
    U-Uh, this is sudden.
    I'm the straight man, anyway.
[14:34] Hed
    What the heck? Want me to destroy humanity?!
[14:39] Gin
    If I use the right lever, like so,
[14:41] Gin
    the demon of destruction Hedora's
    personality will come to the forefront.
[14:45] Gin
    He's mainly in charge of jabs and
    opening stuck lids on jars of jam.
[14:49] Shin
    What are you using that demonic power for?!
[14:51] Shin
    He was aiming his jabs at humanity!
    He hasn't given up on destroying humanity!
[14:55] Shin
    Meanwhile, the left lever
    is for cleaning up the mess.
[14:58] Hed
    Shinpachi-kun, I'm sorry
    Hedora was violent with you.
[15:02] Shin
    H-Hedoro-san, thank you so...
[15:04] Hed
    Watch out! There's a ladybug!
[15:07] Shin
    Almost nothing's changed!
[15:08] Shin
    Looks like it was safe. Thank goodness.
[15:12] Gin
    I'll use the angel or demon, depending
    on the situation, and protect humanity.
[15:17] Gin
    That's the gist of the Human
    Instrumentality Project.
[15:19] Shin
    But I saw nothing but demon!
[15:21] Shin
    You sure this isn't the Ladybug
    Instrumentality Project?!
[15:24] Hed
    What the heck? Want me to destroy humanity?!
[15:27] Shin
    He returned my jab with a jab!
[15:29] Gin
    You spewed sorely mistaken nonsense.
    In other words, you played the fool.
[15:33] Gin
    Better watch your mouth, or I'll
    deem it a comedy act and jab at it.
[15:37] Shin
    This is bad! The demon's got
    another demon riding on top!
[15:39] Kon
    Stop it, Odd Jobs! It's too dangerous!
[15:42] Kon
    That thing's throwing jabs not
    at fools, but at humanity itself!
[15:47] Kon
    Eventually, its jabs will even hit you!
[15:51] Gin
    Even so, I have to keep throwing jabs
[15:55] Gin
    until the world drops this
    unfunny joke about ending.
[15:59] Kon
    In that case, knock me out before you go!
[16:04] Gin
    You're in the way. Move.
[16:05] Kon
    What's wrong? Come on, give me a jab!
[16:10] Gin
    I can't.
[16:12] Gin
    Because you're not a human.
[16:15] Gin
    You're an ape.
[16:17] Kon
    Knock me out.
[16:21] Kon
    Come on, knock me out.
[16:25] Kon
    Please knock me out!
[16:28] Hed
    Watch out! There's a cockroach!
[16:35] Shin
    How do you even respond to this?!
[16:41] Tae
    Demon? More like a god.
[16:44] Tae
    And that god is telling you to get
    some rest, for tonight at least.
[16:49] Tae
    So don't worry about it, Hedoro-san.
[16:51] Tae
    It's this moron's fault for toying
    with someone like they were a robot.
[16:55] Hed
    I'm terribly sorry.
[16:57] Hed
    In my eyes, both Sakata-san and cockroaches
    are equally my friends on Earth.
[17:02] Tae
    Jeez, cheer up!
[17:05] Tae
    This guy deserves to be treated
    worse than a cockroach!
[17:07] Hed
    What the heck? Want me to destroy humanity?!
[17:10] Gin
    He cheered up too much!
[17:12] Gin
    Quit messing with that branch under the
    pretext of offering an olive branch!
[17:15] Shin
    But you really should get some rest.
[17:18] Shin
    The war will continue tomorrow
    and thereafter, too.
[17:20] Gin
    Tell your sister that!
[17:22] Shin
    Thinking back, you've been
    fighting constantly for ages.
[17:27] Shin
    You always fight until you're a mess.
[17:29] Shin
    In truth, you must be really worn out, right?
[17:33] Gin
    I could say the same about you guys.
[17:36] Gin
    I ran you two into the ground, after all.
[17:40] Gin
    For unpaid interns, you did great work.
[17:43] Gin
    You did well to keep up with such a lowlife.
[17:48] Gin
    But, maybe because you were
    with such an unreliable adult,
[17:52] Gin
    you've both grown much stronger.
[18:11] Tae
    Looks like they've taken over the futon.
[18:14] Tae
    If they'd stayed up a little longer, they
    could've heard some rare words of praise.
[18:20] Gin
    I guess they still have a ways to go.
[18:22] Gin
    And so do I.
[18:29] Oki
    Hijikata-san, just when will
    we be able to rest?
[18:33] Hij
    If the world ends, we'll get
    more sleep than we'd ever want.
[18:36] Hij
    Enjoy the street life while you still can.
[18:39] Oki
    The only things you can enjoy
    in this pitch-dark world
[18:42] Oki
    are sleep and sex.
[18:44] Oki
    Did you know?
[18:46] Oki
    Every city that experiences a huge blackout
    has higher birthrates the next year.
[18:56] Hij
    That's what I'm looking for.
[18:58] Oki
    Huh? Someone to sleep with?
[18:59] Hij
    Hell no!
[19:01] Hij
    The man who went beyond blackout and broke
    every machine in Edo, Hiraga Gengai.
[19:06] Hij
    Without that virus cannon that stopped
    the enemy fleet and severed their comms,
[19:11] Hij
    we wouldn't be here right now.
[19:14] Hij
    But as things stand, we can't link
    up with the guys in space, either.
SIGN    Sleep well and build up energy.
[19:21] Hij
    We'll have to get him to help
    us communicate in some way.
[19:25] G
    Old man Gengai? Haven't seen him in a while.
[19:28] G
    I think he was nearly caught by a mercenary
    squad, but managed to get away.
[19:33] G
    Dunno after that, though.
[19:35] G
    Gengai-san? Yeah, I ran away with him.
[19:39] G
    But partway, he said he had
    to answer nature's call,
[19:43] G
    and then he didn't come back...
[19:45] G
    Huh? Gengai?
[19:46] G
    He was hiding in the shadows over
    there and yelling for toilet paper.
[19:57] Hij
    Hear us out while you wipe.
[20:00] Hij
    We need a favor from you, Gengai.
[20:06] Hij
    Gengai?
[20:09] Y
    Gengai, was it?
[20:11] Y
    Surely you know why you're here.
[20:14] Gen
    Yeah. You want me to clean
    up the mess I caused, right?
[20:19] Gen
    Even as your allies were taken out,
[20:22] Gen
    you sat back and watched, so where
    is all this coming from now?
[20:26] Y
    We never intended on fighting
    alongside complete idiots.
[20:31] Y
    Gengai, stop that nanomachine virus.
[20:35] G
    Bad news! Old man Gengai!
[20:40] Hij
    Gengai has fallen into enemy hands!
[20:44] Tsu
    Huh? You say something?
[20:47] Hij
    No. Nothing at all.
[20:50] Mat
    This is one unpleasant night.
[20:54] Mat
    It's so quiet, it's almost creepy.
[20:58] Mat
    I guess bonus stages never
    last very long, huh?
[21:05] Mat
    I hope they're getting some
    rest while they still can.
[21:14] Soyo
    You can't sleep either,
[21:15] Soyo
    Nobume-san?
[21:18] Nob
    I can't sleep well after getting
    injured and being a burden.
[21:22] Soyo
    Sorry I caused you unnecessary concern.
[21:24] Soyo
    But don't worry about keeping watch.
[21:26] Soyo
    I have the bodyguard the
    Odd Jobs left with me.
[21:31] Soyo
    Oh, it's fine. Let him sleep.
[21:37] Soyo
    Sorry, I don't know how to play
    the straight man very well.
[21:42] Soyo
    Come to think of it, something
    similar happened before, didn't it?
[21:46] Soyo
    I threw a tantrum, saying
    I was too lonely to sleep,
[21:50] Soyo
    but I hadn't experienced truly
    lonely nights back then.
[21:56] Nob
    We, the Hitotsubashi Faction, are the ones
    who put you siblings through all this.
[22:01] Nob
    I really have no right to
    be by your side like this.
[22:07] Soyo
    Just as you know my pain,
[22:10] Soyo
    I know your pain, too.
[22:16] Soyo
    Isn't that enough, Nobume-san?
[22:19] Soyo
    Let's get through this night,
    the two of us togeth—
[22:24] Nob
    Princess, I don't really know how
    to play the straight man, either.
[22:36] Nob
    What?
[22:40] NbNb
    Come...
[22:42] NbNb
    Co... in.
[22:44] NbNb
    Come in.
[22:45] Soyo
    Were the comms restored?
[22:48] NbNb
    Somebody... Is anybody there?
[22:53] NbNb
    Respond.
[22:55] Soyo
    Hello. I'm Tokugawa Shigeshige's
    younger sister,
[23:00] Soyo
    Soyo.
[23:04] Soyo
    Nobunobu-sama...
[23:06] Soyo
    It's you, isn't it?
SIGN    Silver Soul Arc
SIGN    Bushido Is Found One Second Before Death
SIGN    Breaking news.
SIGN    Breaking news.
SIGN    After the next episode,
SIGN    Gintama will be taking a short break.