E279 - The Reaper by Day and the Reaper by Night

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    The Reaper's Request: Please watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV.
[01:35] G
    Boss, I gotta close up already.
[01:38] G
    And they say this area's gotten dangerous
    lately, so you'd best hurry on home.
[01:42] Gin
    Dangerous? What else is new?
[01:46] G
    Haven't you heard of the serial
    killer going after drunkards?
[01:49] G
    Just two days ago, another corpse
    was found in a back alley.
[01:52] G
    And there was something
    really strange about it.
[01:55] G
    At first glance, he looked like any old
    drunkard with nary a scratch on him,
[01:59] G
    but he was cut through the neck,
    leaving just one tiny bit of skin attached.
[02:04] G
    And because of that,
[02:05] G
    now there are rumors that it
    was the work of a Reaper.
[02:09] Gin
    No wonder the streets are
    so deserted everywhere.
[02:14] Gin
    When things get this gloomy,
    it even makes alcohol taste bad.
[02:18] Gin
    I wish someone would have a
    drink with me, Reaper or not.
[02:22] G
    Give it a rest, Boss.
[02:24] G
    Or else a Reaper really might
    show up to pour you a drink.
SIGN    Oden
[02:28] G
    So scary!
[02:29] G
    I'd better take down my lamp before
    the candle gets snuffed out.
[02:34] Gin
    How stupid.
[02:36] Gin
    By just a tiny bit of skin on his neck?
[02:38] Gin
    Big whoopin' deal.
[02:40] Gin
    Even I could do that.
[02:44] Gin
    Hell, we're always scraping along
    by the skin of our necks.
[02:47] Gin
    Financially, that is.
[02:48] R
    Is that true?
[02:51] R
    If so, I'd like to ask you
[02:55] R
    to help me commit suicide.
SIGN    The Reaper by Day
    and the Reaper by Night
[03:06] Gin
    I'm not sure I get it,
[03:08] Gin
    but you should probably rethink this.
[03:11] Gin
    If you committed suicide, uh,
[03:14] Gin
    wouldn't it be bad in a lot of ways?
[03:16] Gin
    How should I put this...
[03:18] Gin
    It's just wrong in all kinds of ways.
[03:21] Gin
    Basically, this isn't like you.
[03:24] Gin
    Cheer up!
[03:25] R
    What the hell would you know about me?!
[03:27] Gin
    What would I know?
[03:29] Gin
    I'd say it's all pretty obvious, really.
[03:32] R
    Stop judging a book by its cover!
[03:35] R
    You know nothing about my suffering!
[03:37] Gin
    I can pretty much guess.
[03:39] Gin
    You couldn't learn Bankai
    or something, right?
[03:42] R
    Wrong!
[03:43] Gin
    Anyway,
[03:44] Gin
    don't throw your life away.
[03:47] Gin
    You have the important mission
    of taking human lives...
[03:50] Gin
    Wait, that's not right.
[03:52] Gin
    You should know better than
    anyone how precious life is
[03:54] Gin
    because you take so many lives...
[03:57] Gin
    That's not it, either.
[03:58] Gin
    Man, this is a pain!
[04:00] Gin
    I have no idea how to stop a
    Reaper from committing suicide!
[04:03] R
    I must atone for all the lives I have taken.
[04:07] Gin
    Look, I get that.
[04:09] Gin
    But isn't that your job?
[04:11] Gin
    You don't have a choice.
[04:12] Gin
    Everyone understands that.
[04:15] R
    Just hurry and finish me off already!
[04:18] R
    P-Please!
[04:20] R
    Finish me!
[04:22] R
    End my suffering!
[04:24] Gin
    I don't even care anymore.
[04:26] Gin
    Don't resent me, okay?
[04:27] Gin
    Don't reduce my life span, okay?
[04:28] R
    Ow! Ow! Ow! I'm gonna die!
[04:31] Gin
    Didn't you want to die?!
[04:32] R
    H-Hurry up! Hurry up!
[04:33] Gin
    Hey, come on!
[04:34] Gin
    Quit moving around!
[04:37] Gin
    H-Here I come.
[04:46] R
    U-Uh, how much longer?
[04:49] R
    Hurry up and put me at ease.
[04:52] Gin
    J-Just a sec. Don't look this way.
[04:54] Gin
    I'm adjusting my aim right now!
    I'll take your head in one swing!
[05:03] R
    Are you done yet?
[05:04] R
    Hey, I'm really starting to hurt here.
[05:06] R
    Please, hurry!
[05:07] Gin
    S-Settle down!
[05:09] Gin
    This is the pain of all the
    lives you have taken so far!
[05:13] Gin
    And this one's for Krillin!
[05:20] R
    Hey! What do you think you're doing?!
[05:24] R
    H-Help...
[05:25] Gin
    I-I'm sorry! I can't do this after all!
[05:28] R
    It's too late to be saying that!
[05:30] R
    My guts are spilling out already!
[05:33] Gin
    Well, my brain's spilling out,
    so let's call it even!
[05:36] R
    Don't go wimping out on me now!
[05:38] R
    Hurry up and finish the job!
[05:40] R
    Kill me!
[05:41] Gin
    I'll die! I'll die!
[05:49] Gin
    This isn't helping with suicide, it's a scene
    out of Tuesday Suspense Theater!
[05:52] Gin
    Th-This ain't my fault, right?
[05:54] Gin
    This ain't a murder, right?
[05:56] Gin
    I just helped with the suicide, right?
[05:57] Gin
    And surely helping a Reaper
    commit suicide isn't a crime...
[06:06] Gin
    What's all this? Sure is noisy.
[06:11] Gin
    Did something happen?
[06:13] Shin
    I want to know what happened to you!
[06:16] Gin
    What about me?
[06:17] Shin
    What? That Reaper hanging
    from your back, that's what!
[06:21] Gin
    Reaper?
[06:22] Gin
    Wait, can you see something behind me?
[06:25] Gin
    Damn, is something haunting me?
[06:28] Shin
    Like hell!
[06:28] Shin
    The thing's lying limp on your back!
[06:31] Shin
    It's covered in blood!
[06:32] Gin
    That doesn't sound good.
[06:34] Gin
    I might die soon.
[06:36] Kag
    The Reaper up and died before you!
[06:38] Kag
    What happened? Don't tell me...
[06:40] Gin
    No, no! It was self-defense!
[06:43] Gin
    All I did was turn the tables on
    the Reaper who came after my life!
[06:45] Kag
    You killed it? You killed a Reaper?
[06:49] Gin
    Anyway, bring in all the Zanpakuto we have.
[06:52] Gin
    We'll all use our Bankai and send
    the Reaper back to Soul Society.
[06:56] Shin
    What are you trying to make us do?!
[06:57] Shin
    Not even Bankai can clear you of this crime!
[06:59] Shin
    Turn yourself in!
[07:01] Shin
    You've totally committed a murder here!
[07:02] Gin
    Screw you!
[07:04] Gin
    Only Soul Society can judge me—
[07:08] R
    No. Only people can judge other people.
[07:13] R
    You don't have to assist
    in my suicide anymore.
[07:14] Shin
    It's alive! The Reaper is alive!
[07:17] R
    I'm sorry.
[07:19] R
    This stomach wound was a fake.
[07:21] R
    I figured you'd never take my head
    unless I did something like this.
[07:26] R
    But I'm not allowed an
    honorable ritual suicide.
[07:30] R
    I'm more deserving of having my
    severed head stuck on a pike.
[07:35] R
    A Reaper doesn't even have the right to die.
[07:39] Kag
    A human?
[07:42] R
    No, I'm a Reaper.
[07:44] R
    Ikeda Asaemon,
[07:46] R
    a good-for-nothing Reaper who
    can't even have her own head,
[07:49] R
    let alone those of sinners.
[07:52] R
    I apologize for causing a fuss.
[08:01] Gin
    Who could it be at this time of night?
[08:12] Hij
    Again?
[08:13] Oki
    Yeah. The fourth one this week alone.
[08:17] Oki
    I never knew Reapers were such hard workers.
[08:20] Hij
    Seriously.
[08:22] Hij
    I wish they'd spare a thought for us
    cops who have to deal with their messes.
[08:25] Oki
    And unlike us, I bet they get paid
    for overtime in Soul Society.
[08:31] Oki
    This technique never ceases to amaze me.
[08:33] Hij
    Yeah, no ordinary swordsman
    could pull this off.
[08:36] Hij
    But Sogo, if they were as skilled as you—
[08:40] Oki
    Gimme a break.
[08:42] Oki
    I was busy all night, targeting
    your head like always.
[08:46] Hij
    You call that an alibi?
[08:48] Oki
    Besides, I'm not the only one capable of this.
    There are loads of others out there.
[08:53] Oki
    Did you know?
[08:55] Oki
    Someone committing a ritual
    suicide first pierces his belly,
[08:59] Oki
    and then his assistant lops off his
    head before he starts to suffer.
[09:02] Oki
    But it's not that easy to take
    someone's head in one swing.
[09:07] Oki
    If it goes badly, you fail to finish him
    off even after two or three strikes,
[09:11] Oki
    thus making him suffer more.
[09:13] Oki
    As such, it's usually up to the finest
    swordsman in the family to be the assistant.
[09:18] Oki
    Some among them try to
[09:19] Oki
    keep the head from falling to
    the ground and getting dirty
[09:22] Oki
    by leaving just one tiny bit of
    skin attached when they cut it,
[09:25] Oki
    a practice known as the Hung Head
    style of execution, or so I hear.
[09:31] Yae
    Do you mean to say that the murderer
    is one of us executioners?
[09:40] Oki
    And who might you be?
[09:42] Hij
    I asked him to help us
    with the investigation.
[09:45] Hij
    He's the Royal Swordskeeper,
[09:47] Hij
    the 18th Ikeda Yaemon-dono.
[09:50] Oki
    Royal Swordskeeper?
[09:53] Hij
    Basically, the arms magistrate who supervises
    all of the Shogun family's weaponry—
[09:57] Yae
    It's fine.
[09:59] Yae
    No need to address me so formally.
[10:02] Yae
    Everybody knows that trying out
    the swords is but a side job.
[10:08] Yae
    I know that we're called the
    clan of executioners who
[10:11] Yae
    behead those sentenced by the Bakufu,
[10:13] Yae
    no, that we are ridiculed
    as Reapers behind our backs.
[10:19] Oki
    Oh, I get it.
[10:20] Oki
    The quickest way to learn about
    a Reaper is to ask a Reaper—
[10:25] Yae
    Our job may seem like
    dirty work to outsiders,
[10:29] Yae
    but our swords purge criminals of their
    sins and return purity to their souls,
[10:34] Yae
    and we take great pride in them.
[10:36] Yae
    None in our family would swing their
    swords like this, bereft of conviction.
[10:42] Hij
    It's not like we're suspecting you.
[10:45] Hij
    We wanted to ask about this technique—
[10:46] Yae
    Or so I'd like to say,
[10:49] Yae
    but I don't think anyone outside the Ikeda
    family is capable of such a technique.
[10:54] Yae
    It's not that this head was left
    attached by one tiny bit of flesh,
[10:58] Yae
    but rather that it was chopped off so
    skillfully that its cells are coalescing.
[11:03] Yae
    Leaving even a person's cells
    unaware that they've been cut,
[11:05] Yae
    this art truly removes only their soul.
[11:08] Yae
    The Ikeda family's ultimate form
    of the Hung Head Technique,
[11:11] Yae
    Soul Cleansing.
[11:13] Hij
    And how many in your family
    can perform this technique?
[11:16] Yae
    Only a few.
[11:18] Yae
    First, the late former Yaemon.
[11:22] Yae
    The second would be me,
    who inherited the technique.
[11:27] Hij
    There are others, right?
[11:28] Yae
    No, there are none left in the family.
[11:32] Yae
    But there is one on the run.
[11:43] B
    Huh? I'm not hurt at all?
[11:45] G
    Are you all right, kid?!
[11:49] G
    Huh? Everything inside has been cut.
[11:55] G
    Hell, even the truck's been cut?!
[12:17] (Flashback) Yae
    Asaemon, why do you tremble so?
[12:21] (Flashback) Yae
    The man in front of you
    is no longer your master.
[12:26] (Flashback) Yae
    He is a criminal whose
    head you must take.
[12:28] (Flashback) Yae
    Waver not.
[12:30] (Flashback) Yae
    Do your duty.
[12:32] (Flashback) Yae
    When people sin and degenerate into demons,
[12:35] (Flashback) Yae
    we must make them
    human again at their end.
[12:38] (Flashback) Yae
    That is the Ikeda family's duty.
[12:41] (Flashback) Yae
    Would you be kind enough
    to make me human again
[12:45] (Flashback) Yae
    with your sword?
[12:51] (Flashback) Yae
    Never forget.
[12:52] (Flashback) Yae
    The only beings capable of
    turning people human again
[12:56] (Flashback) Yae
    are neither demons that take human heads
[12:59] (Flashback) Yae
    nor Reapers that take their souls,
[13:02] (Flashback) Yae
    but humans who sever their souls to save them.
[13:25] C
    Where'd she go?
[13:26] C
    That way! Look over there!
[13:30] Asa
    They've already got the entire town covered.
[13:34] Asa
    This might be a fitting end for me.
[13:37] Gin
    Not on my watch.
[13:40] Gin
    Aren't you the one who asked
    me to help you commit suicide,
[13:43] Gin
    my dear Reaper?
[13:44] R
    You're—
[13:46] R
    Hey, watch your hands!
[13:53] Gin
    Ikeda Asaemon.
[13:55] Gin
    I never thought
[13:56] Gin
    someone from a family that's served
    as bakufu executioners for generations
[14:00] Gin
    would ask me to behead them.
[14:03] Asa
    And I never thought asking
    you to assist me with suicide
[14:06] Asa
    would lead to your taking
    advantage of it to molest me.
[14:10] Gin
    I'm telling you, I didn't touch nothing!
[14:12] Asa
    You see, compared to girls, Reapers have
    one more private part you shouldn't touch.
[14:17] Gin
    I'm telling you, I didn't
    touch your private parts!
[14:20] Asa
    Privates of the Caribbean.
[14:22] Gin
    That's just a skull!
[14:24] Asa
    It's the skull of Caribbean, the pirate
    said to be the first criminal put down by
[14:29] Asa
    the Ikeda family of bakufu executioners.
[14:31] Asa
    Now that you've laid your hands
    on a Reaper's holy privates,
[14:34] Asa
    you will definitely lose your nape.
[14:37] Gin
    And how exactly are you gonna
    have my nape in your state?
[14:40] Asa
    Oh, did I say nape?
[14:42] Asa
    I meant nip.
[14:48] Gin
    She took my nipple!
[14:49] Gin
    What have you done?! And when?!
[14:52] Asa
    Taking a criminal's head without letting
    them realize they've lost it...
[14:56] Asa
    That's what a Reaper's sword does.
[14:57] Gin
    Lost it? More like "lost teat"!
[14:59] Asa
    No need to worry.
[15:00] Asa
    My sword doesn't even hurt the cells.
[15:03] Asa
    If you put it back, it'll stick.
[15:11] Asa
    Then please draw it back when
    the DVD version comes out.
[15:14] Gin
    Help, Yabuki-sensei!
[15:17] Gin
    Damn you! I'm seriously gonna
    throw you into the depths of Hell!
[15:20] Shin
    Calm down!
[15:21] Asa
    Stop! Don't touch my private parts!
[15:26] Yae
    A job well done, Odd Jobs.
[15:29] Yae
    You actually managed to bring her
    here before the police could.
[15:33] Yae
    As the head of the Ikeda family, I thank you.
[15:36] Asa
    Y-Yaemon-sama...
[15:40] Yae
    You've finally come back home, Asaemon.
[15:46] W
    This is Ishikawa Rokuemon's head.
[15:48] W
    And this is the head of
    Weasel Boy Jirokichi.
[15:51] W
    And that's...
[15:53] W
    Who was it again?
[15:55] W
    Well, it's somebody's nipple.
[15:57] Gin
    Excuse me.
[15:58] Gin
    This nipple looks familiar to me.
[16:01] W
    They're all heads of the heinous
    villains the Ikeda family has put down.
[16:05] Gin
    This is mine, isn't it?
[16:07] Gin
    Why is it already part of your collection?
[16:09] W
    Feel free to observe them all you like.
[16:13] W
    Dinner will be served momentarily.
[16:15] Kag
    That's the mansion of the
    bakufu's executioners for you.
[16:18] Kag
    Everything is so clear-cut.
[16:19] Kag
    They're desperate to show themselves off.
[16:21] Shin
    Uh, Gin-san...
[16:23] Shin
    Can we just take our money and go?
[16:26] Shin
    I don't really feel like eating
    with skulls staring at me.
[16:30] Kag
    Wait up, Shinpachi.
[16:32] Kag
    There's something fishy about
    that young head of the Reapers.
[16:35] Kag
    Oops.
[16:36] Gin
    Guys that put on that Sakai
    Masato-ish fake smile
[16:38] Gin
    tend to be the type to kill people
    with a smile on their face.
[16:42] Gin
    He might've welcomed her back warmly,
[16:44] Gin
    but he's probably trying to wipe out the
    family's black sheep behind closed doors.
[16:48] Gin
    They say a Reaper always
    approaches you with a smile...
[16:50] Yae
    No, that's the devil.
[16:52] Yae
    A Reaper would be standing behind
    you before you even realized it.
[16:56] Yae
    And he'd take your life
    in the blink of an eye.
[17:00] Yae
    I returned your nipple.
[17:10] Yae
    Shall we begin, then?
[17:12] Gin
    Uh, we'll pass for tonight.
[17:15] Yae
    Is something wrong?
[17:16] Gin
    Nah, I'm just starting to
    feel sick of this room—
[17:20] Gin
    I mean, to my stomach.
[17:22] Yae
    Perfect!
[17:24] Yae
    We've prepared a very nutritious
    Ikeda special course for you.
[17:29] Yae
    First, we have the appetizer, live frog.
[17:31] Yae
    Then the side dish, monkey brain,
[17:33] Yae
    and the main course, broiled boar head.
[17:36] Yae
    And then...
[17:36] Gin
    They're all heads!
[17:39] Gin
    W-Wow! They're all unusual dishes!
[17:42] Gin
    B-But do you have anything
    that's a bit closer to home?
[17:47] Asa
    Of course.
[17:48] Asa
    Here's the dessert: somebody's nipple.
[17:50] Gin
    That hits too close to home!
[17:52] Gin
    Enough with the taking it
    off and putting it back on!
[17:55] Gin
    What the hell do you think my nipples are?!
[17:58] Yae
    Asaemon cooked this meal herself.
[18:01] Yae
    I thought it'd be a good way to
    let her thank you personally.
[18:04] Gin
    That's not the point.
[18:06] Gin
    Why the hell are you—
[18:07] Yae
    Why are we welcoming back the
    traitor who killed the former head?
[18:13] Yae
    If you tell anyone else what I tell you,
    I'll have to behead all of you, as well.
[18:19] Yae
    Do you still want to know?
[18:22] Yae
    Asaemon and I are like siblings.
[18:26] Yae
    I'm the former Yaemon's own son,
[18:28] Yae
    whereas Asaemon was an orphan he adopted.
[18:30] Yae
    However, our Ikeda family
    cares not about blood lineage.
[18:34] Yae
    For generations,
[18:36] Yae
    only the most skilled swordsman has
    been chosen as the bakufu executioner
[18:38] Yae
    and inherited the Yaemon name,
    proof of being the Ikeda family head.
[18:43] Yae
    The former Yaemon thought
    we had that potential,
[18:47] Yae
    and so we supported each other like siblings,
[18:49] Yae
    competed like rivals, and
    raised the bar for each other.
SIGN    Yaemon
[18:56] Yae
    People would say the family's
    future would be secure no matter
[19:00] Yae
    which of us became Yaemon.
[19:02] Yae
    But that's when
[19:04] Yae
    it came to light that the former
    Yaemon had gone against his duty
[19:07] Yae
    and secretly helped criminals
    escape in the past.
[19:12] Yae
    If the court were to find out, the
    Ikeda family would've been wiped out.
[19:17] Shin
    Then, did you...
[19:19] Yae
    We punished the former Yaemon in secrecy.
[19:22] Yae
    Asaemon was the one who
    helped him commit suicide.
[19:26] Yae
    But the court was bound to
    learn of his death eventually,
[19:29] Yae
    so Asaemon left home, unbeknownst to all.
[19:32] Yae
    To shroud the truth about the
    former Yaemon's death in darkness,
[19:35] Yae
    she took on the stigma of being
    a traitor who killed her lord,
[19:38] Yae
    and chose the path of wearing
    a bloodied Reaper's mask.
[19:43] Yae
    Asaemon is a loyal retainer who threw
    everything away to protect the Yaemon name.
[19:50] Gin
    Then were you trying to commit suicide
[19:54] Gin
    so you could erase both yourself and
    the truth before you got caught?
[19:58] Ase
    That's not true.
[20:02] Ase
    I'm no loyal retainer.
[20:06] Shin
    Asaemon-san!
[20:09] Yae
    She loved the previous head,
    our master, more than anyone else.
[20:14] Yae
    But I never thought she'd go so
    far to protect Father's name.
[20:18] Yae
    I'm glad we found her before it was too late.
[20:21] Gin
    Listen to yourself.
[20:22] Gin
    It wasn't just the sin of killing
    her lord she took on, right?
[20:26] Gin
    I mean, it'd be bad if the honorable
    family of bakufu executioners
[20:30] Gin
    produced a serial killer, now wouldn't it?
[20:33] Gin
    Especially if it were the head of the family,
[20:35] Gin
    because I hear the entire family
    would have to be wiped out.
[20:40] Yae
    I see.
[20:42] Yae
    You said Reapers approach
    with a smile on their face.
[20:45] Yae
    That might not be all that far off the mark.
[20:48] Yae
    A faint smile, is it?
[20:52] Yae
    You can't call that a crime.
[20:55] Yae
    They were all criminals
[20:57] Yae
    who would've lost their heads if the
    former head hadn't let them escape.
[21:00] Shin
    N-No way!
[21:02] Shin
    Don't tell me, you...
[21:04] Yae
    Asaemon and I shared a vow that day.
[21:08] Yae
    That even if we walked down different
    paths, the sky would keep us connected.
[21:12] Yae
    And under that sky, both
    the Reaper by day and
[21:15] Yae
    the Reaper by night would protect the
    things the previous head left us.
[21:19] Yae
    In my eyes,
[21:20] Yae
    she's also one of the precious things the
    previous Yaemon, my father, left me.
[21:26] Yae
    If I were planning to make
    her a sacrificial pawn,
[21:29] Yae
    I wouldn't have had you bring her back.
[21:32] Gin
    You think you can hide it forever?
[21:34] Yae
    So long as you're not the
    talkative sort, yes.
[21:36] Gin
    Then why'd you take that
    risk by telling us all this?
[21:41] Yae
    Please don't play dumb.
[21:44] Yae
    Now that you've heard all this, you'll
    either have to cooperate with me
[21:48] Yae
    or run into a serial killer
    and lose your head.
[21:58] Yae
    Because the list of criminals the previous
    Yaemon let escape ten years ago
SIGN    Sakata Gintoki
[22:03] Yae
    has your name on it,
[22:08] Yae
    Sakata Gintoki-san.
SIGN    Human or Demon?
SIGN    Preview
SIGN    There's a reason why Gintoki managed to survive
SIGN    after being sentenced to death in the past.
SIGN    Was it coincidence, or fate? Lucky or unlucky?
SIGN    In the midst of doubt, there's a sudden twist in the story!!