E238 - A vacation in disorientation
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Toshi
Huh? A vacation?
[00:02] Matsu
Oh, I have one more thing to mention!
[00:06] Matsu
There's someone who wants
to come along on your trip.
[00:11] Matsu
Well, he won't be that much trouble.
[00:14] Matsu
Just keep an eye on him if you would.
[00:17] Toshi
Stop them!
[00:18] Toshi
We can't embarrass the Shogun, the Bakufu!
[00:24] Toshi
We're stranded...
[00:26] Toshi
Forget about protecting the Shogun,
[00:29] Toshi
we're the ones who've been stranded.
SIGN The great Shogun, Shigeshige Tokugawa, has been lost on the ski slopes!!
SIGN Hijikata and the other stranded victims have two missions, to endure the cold and to find the Shogun.
SIGN A Vacation in Disorientation
[02:32] Kagura
I think it's starting to snow harder.
[02:35] Gin
Gonna be a blizzard tonight.
[02:38] Shin
Will Kondo-san and the Shogun be okay?
[02:41] Gin
We need to worry about ourselves first.
[02:44] Gin
Isn't there a hut or something around here?
[02:48] Shin
We wouldn't be stranded if there was.
[02:51] Shin
You can only be stranded when
there aren't people around.
[02:58] Kagura
Hmm? What are they doing?
[03:03] Kagura
Hey, whatcha doing?
[03:04] Kagura
Are you looking for food, doggie?
[03:07] Okita
I'm not like you.
[03:09] Okita
I don't eat food off the ground.
[03:11] Kagura
Never? Never ever?
[03:14] Kagura
Oops, some sukonbu fell out of my pocket.
[03:17] Kagura
Uh oh, what should I do?
SIGN Sukonbu
[03:22] Kagura
Why are you two diving for the food?!
[03:25] Kagura
Stop it! That's embarrassing!
[03:26] Gin
Once it touches the ground,
it's returned to the earth!
[03:30] Gin
The food is mine!
[03:31] Kagura
No, it's mine!
[03:33] Toshi
Hey, what are you idiots doing?
[03:36] Toshi
If you're going to get in the way, you
should also return to the earth.
[03:38] Toshi
Stop playing with valuable food.
[03:43] Toshi
Oops, I dropped some mayonnaise.
[03:46] Toshi
What should I do?
[03:58] Okita
That takes care of the interference.
[04:00] Shin
Okita-san, is that a snow hut?
[04:04] Okita
We're not going to find any buildings
out here in the middle of nowhere.
[04:08] Okita
And there's no guarantee that
there are any caves nearby.
[04:11] Okita
But there's plenty of snow.
[04:13] Okita
In that case, we can find
shelter in the snow.
[04:17] Gin
Oh, my. Did you hear that, Kagura-san?
[04:19] Gin
He's going to use snow
as shelter from the snow.
[04:25] Kagura
I guess the baboon is turning feral on us.
[04:29] Kagura
How can snow possibly keep you warm?
[04:32] Gin
Freiza's cold-hearted attacks
won't help either.
[04:35] Gin
Have you forgotten how agonizing
it was for Vegeta to serve Frieza,
[04:38] Gin
the one who destroyed his planet?!
[04:40] Okita
Go inside and see for yourself.
[04:42] Gin
No thank you.
[04:43] Gin
We don't want to freeze to death.
[04:46] Gin
Oh, sorry if you get wet,
[04:48] Gin
since it looks like some kind of restroom.
[04:50] Toshi
Just go inside!
[04:56] Shin
How is it, Gin-san, Kagura-chan?
[04:58] Shin
Huh?
[04:59] Shin
Gin-san? Kagura-chan?
[05:02] Kagura
What is this?
[05:04] Kagura
Oh, wow.
[05:07] Gin
It's so warm.
[05:13] Gin
And not just in a physical sense.
[05:18] Gin
My entire soul feels warm.
[05:22] Gin
It's so comfortable.
[05:27] Kagura
What is this?
[05:29] Kagura
Why do I feel this way?
[05:31] Gin
This is...
[05:32] Gin
This is almost like...
[05:34] Gin
...I'm back inside my mother's womb.
[05:39] Okita
Well, I won't be letting you inside
[05:42] Okita
since you apparently have
a better place to sleep.
[05:44] Gin
F-Fine with me.
[05:46] Gin
It's not like I want to sleep in
such a cramped and dark place.
[05:49] Kagura
Can't even roll over in here.
[05:51] Toshi
Then get the hell out!
Don't make yourself comfortable!
[05:55] Gin
You're the one who told us to come in!
[05:56] Gin
You should thank us for trying
this dump out for you.
[05:59] Toshi
Ah! Did you just fart?!
[06:02] Gin
Oopsie-daisy!
[06:04] Gin
Okay, we'll go find our own place to sleep.
[06:06] Toshi
That's not the exit!
[06:08] Gin
Huh?
[06:09] Gin
The entrance was so small that I figured
I should find a different way out.
[06:13] Toshi
That's bullshit!
[06:15] Toshi
You did it on purpose!
[06:16] Toshi
You were mad so you destroyed it!
[06:19] Toshi
Hey, what now?
[06:21] Toshi
The snow's getting worse!
[06:23] Toshi
We're wasting our energy here!
[06:26] Toshi
Are you trying to get
us all frozen to death?!
[06:28] Zura
Hey! Over here, everyone!
[06:31] Zura
You shouldn't be fighting
at a time like this.
[06:34] Zura
I'll let you all inside my snow hut!
[06:36] Zura
Come on!
[06:37] Okita
Katsura, who gave you
permission to walk around?
[06:40] Zura
I'm getting used to this body.
[06:43] Zura
I did some looking around,
and I came across this den.
[06:46] Kagura
What is this den?
[06:49] Kagura
Are there bears hibernating inside?
[06:51] Zura
Don't worry. I already chased off the beasts.
[06:54] Shin
Huh? There were actually bears inside?
[06:59] Zura
There wouldn't be bears here.
[07:03] Zura
It was just...
[07:04] Zura
Bigfoot.
[07:10] Shin
Bigfoot doesn't exist!
[07:13] Gin
Why would a mythical UMA be living out here?!
SIGN Shocking!! The giant ape Bigfoot is real?!
[07:17] Gin
Why would Bigfoot wear sneakers?!
[07:19] Zura
Well, I can't be positive
[07:22] Zura
since I was preoccupied at the time.
[07:25] Zura
It could have been a man
with really big feet.
[07:28] Gin
No, I'll confirm it for you!
[07:30] Gin
Nobody has feet this big!
SIGN Sorry. It's cold, so can I stay here tonight? No? You
might have a big body, but your brain is tiny, Stupidfoot!
[07:32] Zura
I asked him to let me stay the night,
but he wouldn't listen to me.
[07:37] Zura
So I attached a letter to
his shoe with thumbtacks,
[07:41] Zura
and he seemed to get the message.
[07:43] Shin
The wrong message!
[07:45] Shin
His foot's all bloody from the thumbtacks!
[07:48] Zura
He even left this wonderful bed.
[07:50] Gin
That's just a stinking sneaker!
[07:53] Zura
If I sleep in here, I won't freeze to death.
[07:57] Zura
Ow! Something's stabbing into my back!
[08:00] Zura
Who put a thumbtack here?!
[08:03] Gin
Hey! I can hear footsteps coming closer!
[08:05] Shin
Crap! Bigfoot-san is coming back!
[08:08] Gin
Run for it!
[08:10] Zura
Hey, where are you going?
[08:12] Zura
Get this thumbtack out of my back.
[08:16] Zura
Oh, you're back?
[08:18] Zura
Uh, I think it's around here.
[08:22] Zura
Yes, that's it.
[08:33] Toshi
Hey, this is looking bad.
[08:35] Toshi
If we don't find some sort of
shelter from this blizzard,
[08:37] ---
we're all gonna freeze to death!
[08:39] Otae
Everyone! Over here!
[08:42] Otae
I found a great place!
[08:44] Shin
Sis!
[08:49] Shin
There's actually a cave here.
[08:53] Toshi
It's not any warmer,
[08:55] Toshi
but at least we won't be buried by the snow.
[08:59] Otae
Yes, and there's even food here.
[09:02] Shin
Really?
[09:04] Otae
Take a look.
[09:05] Otae
I managed to find so much food.
[09:10] Shin
Sis, what are those?
[09:13] Otae
Chupacabras.
[09:23] Otae
This appears to be a chupacabra nest.
[09:26] Otae
Beyond the chupacabras, you
won't find bears or Bigfoot.
[09:30] Otae
Instead, you'll find the
ancient city of Fazan,
[09:32] Otae
said to have been conquered by
the chupacabras in one night!
[09:38] Otae
If we defeat the chupacabras and
reach the core system of Fazan,
[09:42] Otae
we won't have to worry about
being stranded anymore!
[09:46] Otae
All of our problems will be solved!
[09:49] Otae
Now, let's rise up!
[09:52] Otae
We must fight for our victory!
[09:54] Otae
I know that we can do this if we're together!
[09:56] Otae
Let's go!
[10:00] Otae
Huh?
[10:06] Shin
The blizzard keeps getting worse.
[10:08] Shin
What are we going to do?!
[10:10] Shin
The sun's gone down and we
still haven't found shelter!
[10:14] Shin
We'll be popsicles in no time!
[10:20] Zura
Stop whining about a little cold, you babies!
[10:22] Zura
After Bigfoot-san stuck
a bunch of needles in me,
[10:24] ---
I feel like my body's on fire!
[10:27] Zura
You should all come back
to see Bigfoot-san with me!
[10:30] Shin
Hell no!
[10:31] Otae
We should use the cave I found.
[10:34] Otae
Look at this delicious fried chupacabra.
[10:39] Gin
She can turn unidentified creatures
into an unidentified substance!
[10:42] Gin
Everything she touches becomes dark matter!
[10:44] Shin
How are we supposed to
spend the night in the lair
[10:46] ---
of those scary creatures?!
[10:48] Shin
And even if we wanted to turn back,
[10:50] Shin
we wouldn't be able to see where
we're going in this blizzard!
[10:56] Toshi
It's snowing so hard that we can't even see
the smoke from the fire we left behind.
[10:59] Okita
I'm pretty sure the snow
already put out the fire.
[11:03] Okita
Kondo-san and the Shogun
won't know where to go.
[11:06] Gin
Don't worry.
[11:07] Gin
I'm sure that they'll return.
[11:09] Gin
To the earth.
[11:10] Toshi
Don't say that!
[11:12] Toshi
If anything happens to the Shogun,
[11:14] ---
everyone here will be returning to the earth!
[11:16] Okita
It'll be fine, Hijikata-san.
[11:18] Okita
I'm sure that we'll all return.
[11:21] Okita
The Shogun's white underwear...
[11:23] Okita
Our white faces...
[11:26] Gin
Everything will become white under this snow.
[11:29] Gin
Everything will return to zero!
[11:31] Shin
The sadists can't take it!
[11:33] Shin
They've already given up!
[11:34] Shin
Get a grip!
[11:36] Shin
If we don't give up, we'll
find a way to survive!
[11:38] Shin
Isn't that right, Hijikata-san?
[11:42] Toshi
Tsk.
[11:44] Toshi
All I can say is that it doesn't
get any worse than this.
[11:50] Toshi
But on the bright side,
it can't get any worse.
[11:53] Toshi
We just have to climb our
way out of this hole.
[11:55] Toshi
That's one less problem to worry about.
[11:58] Shin
Hijikata-san...
[11:59] Toshi
What?
[12:01] Shin
It just got worse!
[12:06] Gin
Why did a bear have to show up now?!
[12:09] Zura
C-Calm down, Gintoki!
[12:11] Zura
We don't have any chance
of outrunning a bear!
[12:13] Zura
The correct course of action
is to play dead!
[12:15] Gin
You're gonna be dead for real!
[12:17] Toshi
Idiot!
[12:19] Toshi
That's just an urban legend!
[12:21] Toshi
Stare the bear right in its
eyes and slowly back away!
[12:23] Toshi
If you turn your back, it'll...
[12:25] Okita
Oh?
[12:26] Okita
That's no good, Hijikata-san.
You need to watch your rear.
[12:30] Okita
I thought you were a bear and stabbed you.
[12:34] Toshi
Shit, there was someone else I
didn't want to turn my back on...
[12:39] Kagura
Hey.
[12:41] Kagura
You should probably play dead.
[12:45] Okita
D-Damn you...
[12:47] Shin
What are you people doing?!
[12:49] Shin
This isn't the time to fight among ourselves!
[12:51] Otae
Shin-chan! Look out!
[12:52] Otae
The bear's coming for you!
[12:58] Otae
Shin-chan!
[13:11] Otae
Shin-chan!
[13:21] Shogun
Are you all right?
[13:23] Shin
Huh?
[13:24] Shogun
It appears that everyone survived.
[13:27] Shin
Th-Th-That voice...
[13:29] Shin
C-Could it be?!
[13:33] Shogun
It is I. The great Shogun,
[13:36] ---
Shigeshige Tokugawa.
[13:44] Otae
Shin-chan!
[13:45] Otae
Are you okay, Shin-chan?
[13:47] Otae
Shin-chan!
[13:50] Kondo
Man, the Shogun is really something.
[13:52] Kondo
He was able to find this cabin
on his own and take shelter.
[13:57] Kondo
I was floundering around in
the snow when he saved me.
[14:01] Kondo
Can't tell who's protecting who.
[14:04] Kondo
I have failed as a warrior.
[14:06] Kondo
I am prepared to slice open my belly.
[14:09] Kondo
But now that the Shogun has saved my life,
[14:12] Kondo
I must devote myself to ensuring
that the Shogun returns safely.
[14:20] Kondo
What?! The Shogun!
[14:24] Kondo
What happened?!
[14:25] Kondo
What happened to the Shogun?!
[14:27] Kondo
And why are you all so beat up?!
[14:30] Toshi
U-Uh, Kondo-san. You see...
[14:34] Gin
We were attacked by Bigfoot and chupacabras.
[14:37] Kondo
Huh?
[14:37] Gin
We tried to fight back, but...
[14:40] Gin
Damn those UMA! I'll make them pay!
[14:42] Kondo
UMA?! That's impossible!
[14:44] Kagura
It's true!
[14:45] Kagura
It was all the UMA's fault!
[14:47] Kagura
Right, Sho-chan?
[14:48] Zura
Yup, leader.
[14:50] Kondo
Damn those UMA!
[14:52] Kondo
Shogun, hang in there!
[14:55] Kondo
Shogun!
[14:57] Shogun
Where am I?
[14:59] Shogun
Why am I here?
[15:01] Kondo
H-Hey!
[15:02] Kondo
His memory's been damaged!
[15:05] Shogun
K-Kondo, what's happened?
[15:08] Shogun
Why am I here?
[15:09] Gin
Lord Shogun, have you forgotten?
[15:11] Gin
These idiots brought you to
the mountains to hunt UMA.
[15:15] Gin
But while we were following
Bigfoot's footsteps,
[15:18] Gin
we ran into a blizzard and got split up.
[15:20] Gin
We all got stranded for playing along
with this farce of yours.
[15:24] Shogun
I can't believe this.
[15:26] Shogun
I've put the lives of my people in
danger to satisfy an irrational whim.
[15:30] Kondo
No, that's not what happened!
[15:32] Shogun
I am not qualified to rule.
[15:36] Shogun
Heavens! If this storm is
meant as my punishment,
[15:41] Shogun
I offer my meager life as appeasement!
[15:44] Zura
Sure, Shogun.
[15:45] Kondo
This wasn't your fault, Lord Shogun!
[15:48] Kondo
Amateurs can't predict the weather!
[15:52] Kondo
In any case, we should be glad
that we're all together now.
[15:55] Kondo
Help is bound to come.
[15:57] Kondo
But you will have to put up
with this dirty shack for now.
[16:00] Gin
Hey, how's that?
[16:02] Gin
I've managed to cover up all your crimes.
[16:04] Gin
Make sure you get me a reward out of this.
[16:07] Kondo
Most of those crimes were yours, not ours!
[16:09] Kondo
And none of them have been resolved yet!
[16:18] Toshi
Listen up, guys.
[16:19] Toshi
We can't do anything until
this blizzard stops.
[16:22] Toshi
We'll probably do more harm than good
[16:24] ---
by going outside, so sit
tight and wait for help.
[16:27] Toshi
But this shack is nothing more
than four shabby walls.
[16:29] Toshi
It's just as cold inside as it is outside.
[16:31] Toshi
If you fall asleep, you'll die.
[16:33] Toshi
We need to huddle together for warmth.
[16:34] Toshi
Yell when you see someone nodding off.
[16:36] Okita
How are we supposed to huddle together?
[16:40] Toshi
We'll stand with our backs facing
each other, to pool our body heat.
[16:44] Toshi
The center will be the warmest.
[16:46] Toshi
The Shogun will go there.
[16:48] Toshi
Then we have the girls and kids.
[16:49] Toshi
The men will be on the outside.
[16:52] Toshi
Okay, first we'll have the
girls stand next to the Shogun.
[16:57] Gin
Hey, the Shogun's getting excited.
[17:00] Gin
He's got something dirty in mind.
[17:02] Toshi
Hey, what are they doing?
[17:04] Toshi
Why are they whispering in the corner?
[17:05] Toshi
Hurry up!
[17:06] Kagura
Doesn't it smell?
[17:07] Kagura
Like a wash rag drenched in spoiled milk.
[17:11] Otae
Kagura-chan, you shouldn't say that.
[17:13] Toshi
I'm hearing some really nasty comments!
[17:16] Kagura
But you're starting to tear up, boss lady.
[17:19] Otae
Stop that, Kagura-chan.
[17:21] Otae
Some things aren't meant
to be said out loud...
[17:23] Toshi
Yeah, and you're saying them out loud!
[17:26] Toshi
The Shogun can hear everything you're saying!
[17:28] Otae
Um, I believe that the smell is
coming from the fur he's wearing.
[17:32] Otae
I believe that he found it in this cabin.
[17:35] Otae
Could you ask him to take it off?
[17:37] Toshi
I can't do that!
[17:39] Toshi
We're trying to stay warm!
[17:41] Toshi
Except he already took it off!
[17:43] Toshi
The Shogun has changed his objective!
[17:45] Toshi
He's seeking a different kind of warmth!
[17:47] Toshi
Hey, the Shogun took off that fur.
[17:50] Toshi
Get going.
[17:51] Gin
Hey, hold on.
[17:52] Gin
Doesn't it stink?
[17:54] Toshi
Why are you joining in?!
[17:56] Toshi
He already took off the fur!
[17:57] Gin
Are you sure that the smell
was coming from the fur?
[18:00] Gin
I think the smell's gotten worse.
[18:02] Kagura
I think this is a completely different smell.
[18:05] Toshi
Just stop already!
[18:06] Toshi
The Shogun's wearing
nothing but his underwear!
[18:07] Toshi
What could possibly stink?!
[18:08] Kondo
The Shogun is pretending to stretch
while checking if his armpits smell!
[18:11] Kondo
Stop! Don't hurt him anymore!
[18:14] Gin
That must be the source.
[18:16] Gin
Must have been all stuffed up under that fur.
[18:19] Gin
We'll have to ask him to take it off.
[18:21] Toshi
Don't be ridiculous!
[18:22] Toshi
It would be suicide to stand naked
in the middle of a blizzard!
[18:25] Toshi
Shogun!
[18:26] Toshi
You don't even have an heir yet?!
[18:28] Kagura
That's gross. I don't wanna go near him.
[18:30] Toshi
Want me to kill you?!
[18:32] Toshi
He took everything off because
you kept complaining!
[18:35] Toshi
Now huddle together!
[18:36] Toshi
The Shogun needs some warmth
for his body and heart!
[18:39] Okita
Stop your whining.
[18:41] Okita
We don't have time to gripe about
bad smells or grotesque objects.
[18:45] Shin
That's rude.
[18:46] Shin
Don't you have any tact?
[18:48] Okita
Fine.
[18:48] Okita
We'll go first.
[18:50] Toshi
Oh, that works.
[18:51] Toshi
I don't care who's first, just go!
[18:53] Shin
I can't smell anything.
[18:56] Shin
It's just a man's odor...
[18:58] Kondo
Lord Shogun! Have them executed!
[19:01] Okita
S-Sorry, China girl...
[19:04] Kagura
It's fine if you understand now.
[19:06] Toshi
It's not fine!
[19:07] Toshi
Why are the two of you
agreeing now of all times?!
[19:09] Okita
Don't worry.
[19:11] Okita
We can't huddle together if he's naked,
[19:14] Okita
so let's find him some new clothes.
[19:16] Kagura
And they'll help to cover the smell.
[19:18] Toshi
Hey!
[19:19] Toshi
You've reduced the Shogun to a dress-up doll!
[19:23] Okita
How's this?
[19:24] Toshi
What are you trying to cover?!
[19:26] Toshi
Why is he wearing nothing but a turtleneck?!
[19:28] Toshi
The place that really needs to
be covered is still exposed!
[19:30] Toshi
And why does this remind me of
a plastic surgery commercial?!
[19:34] Okita
That particular region has its
own turtleneck already.
[19:37] Toshi
Why are you grinning like an idiot?
[19:39] Toshi
That wasn't funny!
[19:40] Kondo
That settles it.
[19:41] Kondo
The adults will have to get things going.
[19:44] Zura
Change the plan so we
stand next to the Shogun,
[19:48] Zura
while the girls and kids are outside.
[19:50] Zura
Here's a diagram.
[19:52] Toshi
Why is the censor pointing towards me?!
[19:55] Gin
Somebody has to do it.
[19:57] Gin
Don't you specialize in doing the
dirty work, Shinsengumi Vice Chief?
[20:01] Toshi
This is too dirty!
[20:02] Gin
Stop bitching and start
warming the Shogun's Shogun!
[20:08] Toshi
This is all your fault!
[20:09] Toshi
You should take responsibility!
[20:13] Gin
Zura!
[20:13] Gin
This is your chance to defeat the Bakufu!
[20:15] Zura
He's already limp!
[20:18] Zura
Shinsengumi!
[20:19] Zura
You should be ashamed of yourselves
for exposing your leader!
[20:22] Kondo
Toshi!
[20:23] Toshi
Curly hair!
[20:24] Gin
-Zura!
[20:24] Zura
-Shinsengumi!
[20:26] Kondo
Toshi!
[20:27] Toshi
Curly hair!
[20:35] Toshi
Hey! Wait!
[20:36] Kondo
Look out!
[20:42] A
Hmm? What's that?!
[20:45] B
Hey! Look at that!
[20:49] Yama
Something's... Something's rising in the sky!
[20:52] A
Is that an SOS signal from
Kondo-san and the others?!
[20:56] Yama
Hold on!
[20:57] Yama
That's...
[21:00] Yama
The Shogun?
[21:19] Toshi
We're warm now.
[21:32] A
Hey, look at him!
[21:34] A
Damn, he's so cool!
[21:37] B
He's airborne!
[21:39] B
Awesome!
[21:40] D
What? Is he a pro or something?
[21:42] Both
Huh?
[21:44] Matsu
Yes, hello?
[21:46] Matsu
Good work.
[21:49] Matsu
I guess I put you through a lot of trouble.
[21:51] Matsu
Yeah, he's completely hooked,
so we're back again today.
[21:56] Matsu
But I have one question.
[22:05] Matsu
Is that how snowboarding works?
SIGN Next Episode: There are some things you should not forget when drinking away the past year at year-end parties.
[23:40] Gin
Next time:
[23:41] Gin
There are some things you should not forget
[23:43] Gin
when drinking away the past
year at year-end parties.
SIGN We're already halfway through December. For grown-ups, this is the season for forgetting.
SIGN Drink alcohol, but don't let alcohol get the better of you. Gin-san gets drunk and makes a huge mistake?!
No comments to display
No comments to display